That's a question that only you can answer. You need to ask yourself if you can be satisfied and fulfilled with your life and your relationship if you don't have children of your own. Consider how you would feel if you're with your boyfriend for 5 years and then you break up. Would you be content that you don't have children? Or would you regret being 42 and starting to look for a relationship that would include children? (There are also issues surrounding women having a first pregnancy in their 40s, but that's a different question.) Consider how you will feel when you're 50, or 60... how much will having had children or not matter to you then? It sounds as if your boyfriend already has children. If you are involved with them at all, also consider how necessary it really is for you to have children of your own. From personal experience I can tell you that you don't have to have your own children to experience the satisfaction of being a parent. Part of what makes a relationship good is having common goals, common priorities, and common life plans. Having or not having children is a large part of that. If you find that having a child of your own is that important to you, you may have to consider trying to find another relationship. If you find the decision difficult, you might contact a counselor. Being able to talk over your thoughts and feelings with a trained professional who isn't emotionally involved with the question could be very helpful.

Can it really be a 'great relationship' if you cannot have a meeting of the minds on this issue? And if your primary motivation in meeting someone else is so that you can have a baby - isn't that rather demeaning to them? I don't mean to sound harsh or snide or judgemental, please believe me. I am just trying to give you the option of appraoching this problem from an angle that you might not have considerd because you are so involved in the dilemma it might be hard to sort out the confusion. I sincerely hope that your decision, either way, is the best for all involved and I wish you good fortune.

I am in the same situation... I am 37 and my boyfriend of 5 years is 45. He has two children from a previous marriage. We went back and forth on this issue a few times during the first couple years of our relationship until he finally came to the decision that he did not want any more kids. I have been struggling with this decision almost everyday since. It doesn't help that people ask me about having kids, getting married, etc... As I get older and as each day passes I feel more and more regret. I think of never experiencing being pregnant and giving birth, never experiencing the unconditional love of a child, not having the bond of parenthood with my partner, not having a Mother's Day, not having grand-children, disappointing my parents, feeling like a failure, feeling unfulfilled. I'm sure many would say move on. And, it's not too late to find someone else, but when you've fallen in love and invested so much time and given so much already; how do you move on? I'm not sure I would be able to get over this relationship and move on. What if I gave it all up and began chasing my dreams and in the end my fairy tale still doesn't happen? No boyfriend, no kids, no dream.

Honestly, that depends on what is more important to you. Would you rather be in what you call a great relationship, or would you rather have kids? Only you can decide which is more important to you.

I am in exactly the same position. I'm 32 and my boyfriend is 40 with 2 older kids and long ago had a vasectomy. I love him very much, and I feel my heart sinking into my stomach every time I think about us not being together. But I don't want him to be a reluctant parent, having to "start all over," as he says, and I would hate it if he resented the child and/or me. He's the most wonderful man I've ever met, though! How can I give that up????