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No. Technically he is not my ex yet, either. I will never hate him; I am just very hurt by a lot of things he did to me.
Yes, I do. I guess I hate him because of everything that has happened since we separated. I never wanted to hate him, and I work on not hating him. My goal is to have him be absolutely nothing to me. I don't want his name to produce any reaction in me at all, just as if I were hearing the name of a total stranger.
I dont hate my ex husband. He is one of the biggest A**HOLES I have ever met but he did help me produce the most beautiful child in the world (I may be a tad biased). Hate is a strong word and I try not to say that I hate anyone.
I could never hate the one i once loved enough to marry.
No, and the lack of hate in my system is doing wonders for my complexion.
I agree with Momma Bear, hate is an awfully strong word. Plus, what good is it really going to do me to harbor feelings of hate? None whatsoever. His name makes me cringe and I don't particularly LIKE him, but it's over, I took the alimony and ran (laughing maniacally all the way). The end.
No, I just feel sorry for him. Since we got our divorce, he has had 2 other failed marriages. Guess he needs to do some self exploration!
No. And I think those who say they do are actually just hurt. This is the person who you shared most of your "firsts" in life. You usually grow up together as young adults. That's why it's so hard to get over divorces sometimes. You can't look past the shared experiences. You focus on the good and forget the bad. Even when you say you hate them it's usually because you're remembering the good things and having regret that it's over.
I don't hate him, but he's not my favorite person in the world, that's for sure. I do get along with him though for the sake of my son.
No, I do not hate my ex's. In fact I am still very good friends with both of them. I like it like that And the second remarried and her husband and I are best friends.
It's not that I 'hate' him, it's just the amount of anger that has formed and for some reason I just can't let it go quite yet. He left his son, came in and out of his life for a few months (as long as I was willing to make it effortless....Then he disappears again, the next thing I know he's married and wanting to share custody. Funny, I haven't heard from him in almost 2 months. But when he does show again, he'll threaten to take my son, and then whine and get everyone mad at me aout not seeing him, then he'll disappear. It a never ending thing with that guy. He is always finding way to screw me over.
No !! I don't hate her. We were both just way too young . End of story .
No, not anymore, I got over the hate after I fed him dish soap in his mash potatoes. Did that for 6 months, No it didn't kill.Lets just say he spent alot of time in the bathroom!You can't see your lover if your on the john!
Oooooh yeah! That man was the scum of the earth. Too bad he dropped dead of a heart attack 6 years ago. I went to the funeral just to make sure it was true. So long shithead - he threatened me for so long, and I'm still standing!!
yes I do hate my ex-husband. He was the most abusive, vile, self centered person I have ever known.
Things didn't work for us, we went our separate ways, but no, I do not hate my ex-husband.
no but he doesn't make it easy sometimes.
No I don't hate him even though he has put me through hell and he is a big jerk. I actually still care about him and I know that's wrong since I've moved on, but he was my firts love and I'll always care about him you know like a friendship care not an in love care. SOmetimes I wish I could hate him so I wouldn't think about him though even though that's mean.
Not really but he owes me a fair sum of money so I'm not happy with him.
I waited for a very long time before I went forward with posting this. I feel strongly now that I must post this to clear my name. He has told so many lies about me.
I feel deeply in love with a man (TS) who I thought deserved to have the red carpet rolled out when he came home. His charming ways and down to earth country life was irresistible to me. I found out very quickly that this man had a very dark side. I lived with his emotional, verbal, and physical abuse for 5 years. It came close to destroying me. Prior to my marriage to him, I was very successful in my career. I was also a very outgoing and carefree person. I am just now starting to get that back.
TS is so much fun to be around. He can be very gentle and make anybody laugh until their stomach hurts. He is the type of person that on a distant level you would think is an awesome person. I married TS and found the dark side of him.
TS constantly accused me of wanting another man. He was in constant fear that I may cheat on him. I could not go anywhere and be gone for more than 30 minutes without him insinuating that I was doing something wrong. I worked in automobile dealerships when I met him. He would drill me about any newly hired male where I worked. When he and I went out he would make statements to me that were very demeaning if I even as much as looked in the direction of another man. Disagreements between us became a huge fight. He would start calling me terrible names and make remarks that I got where I was in my job with my legs open.
By now you may be thinking that I must have done something to deserve this treatment. Not at all! I was so infatuated with him. There was no other man that even slightly interested me. I never gave him even an excuse for him to think that I would ever cheat on him. In the fourth year of our marriage, he cheated with two different women. One time, I even went back to him. He sat in his truck one night, crying, and told me that he wanted me, not her. He claimed his fame to being so wrong for what he had done.
The physical abuse started very soon after our relationship started. It did not matter if TS was drinking alcohol or not. He kept telling me all of the excuses of why he did it. I moved out three times and filed for divorce three times. I came back to him each time after hearing him plead that he would not do it anymore. No one will ever understand why I stayed with him. My only explanation is hanging on to the hope that his dark side would go away and I would be left with the charming, funny, and sexy man that I was so in love with. He also claims that his step mother abused him as a child. I held onto the idea that he had “learned” that abuse was a way of life and it would take time for him to “unlearn” this way of life. I was willing, at all costs, to help him get through this bad part of his life. I lost many friends because they had “rescued” me, only for me to go back to him. I lost the respect of my family and myself. One night, he hit me in the nose and blood went flying. We were in the truck coming home from a friend’s house. He drove the truck to the railroad tracks of a bad neighborhood. He told me that he was going to let me out there and the he hoped the “Dixonville” boys would find me and rape me. Another night, he picked me up by my ankles and swung me around the room like a ragdoll. He swung me up against a curio cabinet and the hit broke my arm. There were many more horrible instances. He always did it very privately. If someone walked up during the “act”, he would completely change his attitude and start acting like he was loving on me. He became very angered when he learned that I had told some of my coworkers and friends about his abuse. He said he felt it was something I should have kept in the family and claimed I was very wrong for telling others about it. He claimed that I “pushed his button” with a certain tone in my voice or look on my face.
Through the course of our marriage, I worked hard to get TS to understand that he needed to stop the abuse, fighting, calling me names, and accusations of me wanting another man. I was his sole supporter in letting him know that he was a good person underneath all of the bad. So many times he thanked me for staying with him. He told me so many times of how I was the best thing that ever happened to him. When things were “good” between us we got along so well. We hunted and fished together. We sat around and had some of the best conversations and best laughs. I was constantly telling him how adorable he was.
I had finally had enough. When TS starting calling me names, I started doing the same thing back to him. I hit him where it hurts with the cut downs I said about him. I became what he had been. The only difference is that I never got physical with him. Through our entire marriage, he would claim that he never wanted to see me again and then within a short time he was all over me againThe very last time we had gotten back together, I actually thought we had made 110 percent progress toward finally getting through all of the bad. Then one day, over something very minor, we started talking about a divorce.
We finally divorced. He filed but it was a mutual agreement ( at least at the time it was) We had a past history of “calling wolf” about a divorce but usually after things calmed down we were okay (actually, better than ever). I let him do the filing because I had processed the divorce myself all the other times. I told him that he would have to pay an attorney and get it done. He did. It was final within about 45 days. He suddenly took the attitude that he was divorcing me because he kept saying that I was mean. The final change of his attitude toward me came when he became the divorcer and I was the divorcee. He has made it his mission in life to blame me for the marriage failure by claiming that I nagged at him and says I am a mean person (and yes, I did nag about his abuse, his cheating, his neglect of not doing his share of the housework (which he did nothing), and his neglect of his kids. He would only see his kids every other weekend but spent the whole time running with his cousin in the deer woods or fishing and would leave the kids at home alone with nothing to do. He never took them to do anything fun.
After the divorce was final, we tried to be friends and sexual partners. One minute he was a sweetheart and the next he was a jerk. He would ask to me stop calling him. I continued to stay in touch. There were so many mixed times. One time he would be hateful and the next time he would be wonderful. The problem I had was pointing out all of the wrong things he did to me. It finally ended after he claimed that he hated me. This hate came after I wrote a letter to him revealing my feelings about his abuse and his cheating. It apparently struck a “truth” nerve so deep inside him. I kept trying to defend myself against his claim the he was divorcing me because I had been the bad person in the marriage. I tried to explain in this letter that it was not my fault that he abused me. I used an example of his step mother’s abuse of him. I asked him if he felt he deserved her abuse. I also pointed out to him that he has two daughters that he would hate to see a man abuse one of them. He also could not understand why my family didn’t like him. I told him, in this letter, that he would not like his daughter’s husband if she were abused or hit by her husband. The letter was nothing more to me than an attempt for him to stop blaming me for his problems and to express how much I loved him but how hurt I had been by his actions. I felt so betrayed because I stood by his side through so many times and that I forgave him for the things he had done
Now, TS is filled with so much hate towards me. It hurts very badly because I worked myself to death to help him change his ways. I felt that I had sacrificed so much for him. It is like getting an alcoholic or a drug addicted spouse through their problem and then been tossed in the trash after the person is cured. I gave my full support to him and he just gave up on us. I can understand that after awhile he finally felt like he would never be able to live his mistakes down with me. I started realizing that I needed to ease up on him. He never gave me the chance to show him that I could. Even though it may have been that I left him due to abuse, he found a way to make it look like it was my fault. Usually, TS calms down after anywhere from a few weeks to a few months and he will start talking to me again and get over his “hate”. This time he has been steady with his hate. One time we were separating for 4 months without any contact. Then out of the blue he called me and wanted me to come back to him. The last time we were apart for 7 months. He called me and begged me to talk to him. That night he cried and begged me to come back. I was so much on my way to a new and happy life. At the last minute, when I was about to walk away for good, I let him back into my life.
He is now seeing another woman. He went from, us having a very nice night together and actually feeling like we could get past all the bad times, to hating me; all within a week. He tells me that he is going to do different with this woman. (I forgot to mention that he was married to two other women that he also physically, verbally, and emotionally abused and cheated on. I found this out after I had fallen head over heels in love with him and my heart was doing the thinking rather than my head. I still feel this way sometimes because I think I would take him back in a heartbeat.) He kept promising me that he would change for our marriage. He has told me that she is a nice person and she thinks the world of him. I reminded him that I thought the world of him and that for years he thought I was nice too. He told me that he has changed and that he was going to treat her like a queen. My response to that was to ask him why he could not have done that for me after he promised so many times that he would. I didn’t ask to be treated like a queen; I just wanted to be treated with respect. He told me time and time again that I treated him better than any other woman he had been with. He would sit for hours and talk about our future life together. How does a person just flip a switch completely the opposite direction in such a short time?
I do not hate TS. I actually live in this dream world that one day he will “wake up” and realize that he was wrong. I live in a dream world that he will get rid of the dark side, thank me for helping him change his ways, and we would live happily ever after. I actually love this man more than any other man I have ever been with. I would do near anything to help him better himself and have all the good times we once had, with the bad times gone. Worse case would be if he could just sincerely thank me for helping him change (if he truly has) and apologize for giving up on us. If he has truly changed, I feel extremely cheated that I did not reap the reward of having him as my partner. Like I said, apart from his drinking, abusiveness, cheating, and laziness in household responsibilities, he was a good man. Remember, I said dream world. I am living in reality but not without hurt and the feeling of betrayal. I would like to see the day come when he can sit down and sincerely express his apologies for what he did to me, accept the responsibility for his own wrong doings, and make peace between us. I also hope that someone who knows him will read this and see that I am not the bad person that he keeps telling everyone I am.
Can you actually believe that I sometimes regret this divorce? Yeah, me neither! I have not dated anyone steady and have no desire to any time soon. I have had a few dates and I have had several men try to get me to go out with them. I just think I need to do my own thing for awhile. I am actually enjoying my single life but I do miss the married life too. It is kind of like the career I use to have. I made good many but started hating the long hours and stressful days. Every now and then I think I might get back into that field, but quickly realize how I would still hate the long days and the stress. I realize that it would not make me happy.
I trust in God. I feel that he has his way of taking me down a path so I will appreciate what is coming ahead. I also believe in my name, Karma. I know that what goes around will usually come back around. I do wish him the best. If my purpose in his life was to help him change for the better, then I hope I served my time well while I was with him.
hell yeah i hate my ex husband hes a cheater a liar and an alcoholic, he cheated on me twice and we even moved countries to start a new life and he still does it to me...but i have to tolerate him because of our 3 beautiful kids.....we are still living together(which i cant wait to get my own place) but i cant stand the bastard sometimes i wish he would be better off dead but then i think of our kids......i really despise him and i hope karma will get him.....
yes, bc he is a mama's boy.. donest take responsiblity.. i mean literally ihe might as well be married to his mom
i dont hate him but i will say this i got the best of him and thats my son!!!
I am getting to that point. I never wanted to hate him, I really would like to be friends so that our kids can be well adjusted.
But, I am starting to really, really dislike him alot because after we separated, he has done nothing but harass me and tell me I WILL love him again, no matter how many times I tell him it's over. He is obsessed, borderline psychotic, and I know he can get it under control if he wants to...so yeah, I'm beginning to hate him. I'm disgusted when I look at him now.
It takes too much energy to hate. Why bother? If that situation did not work it;s time to move on. Why waste time you can spend finding the true love of your life to hate what happened in the past?
I don't hate him. I just hate what he does to my children and I.
I absolutely despise my ex-wife. But, that's only because while we were married she got pregnant with someone elses baby and didn't have the nerve to say anything until the child was 6 weeks old. The worst part of the story is that she had slept with so many other people that she had no idea who the father actually was.
Yes, because he is an ass!
Yes, I do. I know it sounds bad and I "shouldn't," but I do. He verbally abused me and made me feel like I was nothing. He ruined my life. My friends I use to have he made me give up and think that they didn't care, when they did. They were against us being together; but he made me think they didn't want me to be happy. Well guess what, I wasn't. Because of him I can't trust anyone and I don't want to get married ever again. He messed up everything in my life. I realize I allowed him to do this, but the way he disguised all of this as love and just everything else he's done (cheating, name calling, etc) I hate him.
I don't even hate the person that raped me, but I hate my ex.
No.
At the time I was devastated. In hindsite, her leaving me was one of the best things that's happened to me.
She taught me how dependent I was on her. My self esteem no longer depends on things or people (outside influences). I know now that happiness is a DECISION, not something someone gives you.
She taught me the only thing I have that can never be taken is my peace of mind.
No, I don't think I could really hate someone I loved so much but I do pity him
Hate is probably too strong a word. I dislike the way he treats our children. He has always drawn them in the middle of mine and his disagreements and I hate that. He made my kids feel like they needed to choose him over me. Which is funny to me in a way because it has only backfired on him.
Coz Shes a two-timing scum sucking double dealing worm eating cow smelling dung munching sewer breathed butt licking whore of babylon... Shall I continue.... lol ;-)
The problem is that at one time we chose our partner and made a commitment to live together. Then we became disenchanted with the partner, or the partner left us. So now we are faced with the reality that we made a bad choice. We made a mistake. In an effort to avoid acknowledging our own poor choice of partner we tend to blame the partner. But it is our own choice that we are really blaming. So to hate your ex is to really hate yourself, to hate yourself for having made the poor choice.
yes. she took my sons just for spite. they didn't want to go.
I did at first, he cheated on me when I was preg. & then after I forgave him for that he and my so-called "best friend" were caught being more than friends at his bday party. However, no one told me for a yr. so they both got away w/ it for a year after that. But we have a child and it(divorce)is much easier on her(our child) and everyone else to forgive (not forget)& continue on.We've been divorced for 3yrs & we get along great now (usually). We were best friends before we married and now we are friends again. It's much easier to be able to discuss issues concerning our child, money, or anything really if you can be friends.Both parties are more willing to help out the other.
Hate, no...dislike yes!
No. We get along fine. We both remarried and are happier than ever. Besides we have a son and keeping a good relationship is a positive environment for him.
No, in fact we are quite good friends now, and enjoy planning surprises for our children and grandchildren together. We also discuss things like the true causes of the Great Depression and commiserate over odd family members. I named his two dogs and picked out the tile for his swimming pool. Just like good friends.
I wouldn,t say I hate my ex but I feel alot of contempt for him as he tried his best to turn our 2 kids against me. For a while he succeeded but the tables have turned now so if anything I feel sorry for him.
Yes, I hate my exhusband and his new girlfriend. He cheated on me with her while he was still married to me. He took my kid from me and made false accusations to CSB to get back at me for leaving him. He also kept some very sentamental and family heirlooms from me. And they have told some horrible lies to my son so that he thinks I don't love him or want him around and that I'm not his real mommy, she is. When I called to tell him my fiancee had died he was actually happy. And it brought him even more joy to keep my son from the funeral and wake. He said it wasn't my visatation time and that my son already had plans that couldn't be changed just because Jay had died. They then told him that Jay was mean to him and that he was happy he was gone. And there are even more stories that are just as bad.
I hate my exhusband because when I left him he was dealing drugs, having an affair,(girlfriend was pregnant when we got a divorcee) and physically & emotionally abusive. Then he ends up with the kids and tells me that my rights have been terminated and now the state wants me to send them a check for $10,000 in child support.
No, I honestly seldom think of him. We have both moved on and realize our marriage was a mistake made by two immature, young people.
Honestly, sometimes I do. I wish I had a different answer than that, like "Hate is too strong a word", but under my personal circumstances, the word 'hate' is not strong enough sometimes. I have one more year to go, then I will let it all go and practice feeling nothing for him at all...
I am trying my best to not hate him but he is not making it easy. We have a beautiful baby girl and I refuse to let her ever hear anything bad about her father from me.
Yes I hate my ex-wife. I caught her having sex with another men on my bed, when I seen it I left the room and never came back home.
Nope. I just don't want to be with her.
I dont hate him, but I dislike him...alittle.
Why?...Cuz he broke and entered in my friends house
He kidnapped me and beat me for hours...
He tried to kill me...
and he abused me for years...
LoL...I think I could hate him, but its not doing me any good to stay peeved for the rest of my life.
I hate myself more for letting her get to me the way she has.
At the moment yes, because he knows he is hurting me, but I think it feeds his ego, once I am no longer there for him....we'll see. Lifes A Beach!
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Comments
Great avatar change!!! Is that still you? (wow!)
by JustAnotherDeadPoet on January 29th, 2007
Thanks! Yep! I dropped the glasses and went all sepia!
by Simply msFortunate on January 29th, 2007
Well... You look GREAT in that picture...! Have you figured out how to send that "yes" by mail? =)
by JustAnotherDeadPoet on January 30th, 2007
:-) Well, thank you. I have not yet figured out how to mail my "yes" but you'll be the first to know...maybe I can find an old PC microphone at work today.
by Simply msFortunate on January 30th, 2007
i agree, i'm not divorced yet, i won't hate her, however, she did ask me to keep my last name..i told her that would be good, shows she used to be worth something(yeah i know..words of pain) and yes great pic btw..lol
by dr. john on September 11th, 2009