by JustAnotherDeadPoet on January 22nd, 2007

JustAnotherDeadPoet

Question

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Do you hate your ex-wife or ex-husband? Why?

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Answers. 210 helpful answers below.

  • by Simply msFortunate on January 22nd, 2007

    Simply msFortunate

    No. Technically he is not my ex yet, either. I will never hate him; I am just very hurt by a lot of things he did to me.

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  • by AntigoneRising on January 22nd, 2007

    AntigoneRising

    Yes, I do. I guess I hate him because of everything that has happened since we separated. I never wanted to hate him, and I work on not hating him. My goal is to have him be absolutely nothing to me. I don't want his name to produce any reaction in me at all, just as if I were hearing the name of a total stranger.

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  • by justme32 loves the weekends on January 22nd, 2007

    justme32 loves the weekends

    I dont hate my ex husband. He is one of the biggest A**HOLES I have ever met but he did help me produce the most beautiful child in the world (I may be a tad biased). Hate is a strong word and I try not to say that I hate anyone.

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  • by Nick on January 22nd, 2007

    Nick

    I could never hate the one i once loved enough to marry.

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  • by TaoZen on February 4th, 2007

    TaoZen

    No, and the lack of hate in my system is doing wonders for my complexion.

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  • by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on January 22nd, 2007

    Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

    I agree with Momma Bear, hate is an awfully strong word. Plus, what good is it really going to do me to harbor feelings of hate? None whatsoever. His name makes me cringe and I don't particularly LIKE him, but it's over, I took the alimony and ran (laughing maniacally all the way). The end.

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  • by Katie on January 22nd, 2007

    Katie

    No, I just feel sorry for him. Since we got our divorce, he has had 2 other failed marriages. Guess he needs to do some self exploration!

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  • by mustangsally on April 11th, 2007

    mustangsally

    No. And I think those who say they do are actually just hurt. This is the person who you shared most of your "firsts" in life. You usually grow up together as young adults. That's why it's so hard to get over divorces sometimes. You can't look past the shared experiences. You focus on the good and forget the bad. Even when you say you hate them it's usually because you're remembering the good things and having regret that it's over.

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  • by princessemmabelle on January 27th, 2007

    princessemmabelle

    I don't hate him, but he's not my favorite person in the world, that's for sure. I do get along with him though for the sake of my son.

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  • by hemiman on January 26th, 2007

    hemiman

    No, I do not hate my ex's. In fact I am still very good friends with both of them. I like it like that And the second remarried and her husband and I are best friends.

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  • by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on June 29th, 2007

    Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today

    It's not that I 'hate' him, it's just the amount of anger that has formed and for some reason I just can't let it go quite yet. He left his son, came in and out of his life for a few months (as long as I was willing to make it effortless....Then he disappears again, the next thing I know he's married and wanting to share custody. Funny, I haven't heard from him in almost 2 months. But when he does show again, he'll threaten to take my son, and then whine and get everyone mad at me aout not seeing him, then he'll disappear. It a never ending thing with that guy. He is always finding way to screw me over.

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  • by Anonymous on June 23rd, 2007

    Anonymous

    No !! I don't hate her. We were both just way too young . End of story .

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  • by peache on April 11th, 2007

    peache

    No, not anymore, I got over the hate after I fed him dish soap in his mash potatoes. Did that for 6 months, No it didn't kill.Lets just say he spent alot of time in the bathroom!You can't see your lover if your on the john!

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  • by romelang1 on January 29th, 2007

    romelang1

    Oooooh yeah! That man was the scum of the earth. Too bad he dropped dead of a heart attack 6 years ago. I went to the funeral just to make sure it was true. So long shithead - he threatened me for so long, and I'm still standing!!

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  • by anglrckx on January 27th, 2007

    anglrckx

    yes I do hate my ex-husband. He was the most abusive, vile, self centered person I have ever known.

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  • by aimalou on January 27th, 2007

    aimalou

    Things didn't work for us, we went our separate ways, but no, I do not hate my ex-husband.

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  • by jenniferx on January 26th, 2007

    jenniferx

    no but he doesn't make it easy sometimes.

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  • by amanda_0517 on January 22nd, 2007

    amanda_0517

    No I don't hate him even though he has put me through hell and he is a big jerk. I actually still care about him and I know that's wrong since I've moved on, but he was my firts love and I'll always care about him you know like a friendship care not an in love care. SOmetimes I wish I could hate him so I wouldn't think about him though even though that's mean.

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  • by BrandyBrandy on May 5th, 2009

    BrandyBrandy

    Not really but he owes me a fair sum of money so I'm not happy with him.

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  • by karmasmoke on August 1st, 2008

    karmasmoke

    I waited for a very long time before I went forward with posting this. I feel strongly now that I must post this to clear my name. He has told so many lies about me.

    I feel deeply in love with a man (TS) who I thought deserved to have the red carpet rolled out when he came home. His charming ways and down to earth country life was irresistible to me. I found out very quickly that this man had a very dark side. I lived with his emotional, verbal, and physical abuse for 5 years. It came close to destroying me. Prior to my marriage to him, I was very successful in my career. I was also a very outgoing and carefree person. I am just now starting to get that back.

    TS is so much fun to be around. He can be very gentle and make anybody laugh until their stomach hurts. He is the type of person that on a distant level you would think is an awesome person. I married TS and found the dark side of him.

    TS constantly accused me of wanting another man. He was in constant fear that I may cheat on him. I could not go anywhere and be gone for more than 30 minutes without him insinuating that I was doing something wrong. I worked in automobile dealerships when I met him. He would drill me about any newly hired male where I worked. When he and I went out he would make statements to me that were very demeaning if I even as much as looked in the direction of another man. Disagreements between us became a huge fight. He would start calling me terrible names and make remarks that I got where I was in my job with my legs open.

    By now you may be thinking that I must have done something to deserve this treatment. Not at all! I was so infatuated with him. There was no other man that even slightly interested me. I never gave him even an excuse for him to think that I would ever cheat on him. In the fourth year of our marriage, he cheated with two different women. One time, I even went back to him. He sat in his truck one night, crying, and told me that he wanted me, not her. He claimed his fame to being so wrong for what he had done.

    The physical abuse started very soon after our relationship started. It did not matter if TS was drinking alcohol or not. He kept telling me all of the excuses of why he did it. I moved out three times and filed for divorce three times. I came back to him each time after hearing him plead that he would not do it anymore. No one will ever understand why I stayed with him. My only explanation is hanging on to the hope that his dark side would go away and I would be left with the charming, funny, and sexy man that I was so in love with. He also claims that his step mother abused him as a child. I held onto the idea that he had “learned” that abuse was a way of life and it would take time for him to “unlearn” this way of life. I was willing, at all costs, to help him get through this bad part of his life. I lost many friends because they had “rescued” me, only for me to go back to him. I lost the respect of my family and myself. One night, he hit me in the nose and blood went flying. We were in the truck coming home from a friend’s house. He drove the truck to the railroad tracks of a bad neighborhood. He told me that he was going to let me out there and the he hoped the “Dixonville” boys would find me and rape me. Another night, he picked me up by my ankles and swung me around the room like a ragdoll. He swung me up against a curio cabinet and the hit broke my arm. There were many more horrible instances. He always did it very privately. If someone walked up during the “act”, he would completely change his attitude and start acting like he was loving on me. He became very angered when he learned that I had told some of my coworkers and friends about his abuse. He said he felt it was something I should have kept in the family and claimed I was very wrong for telling others about it. He claimed that I “pushed his button” with a certain tone in my voice or look on my face.

    Through the course of our marriage, I worked hard to get TS to understand that he needed to stop the abuse, fighting, calling me names, and accusations of me wanting another man. I was his sole supporter in letting him know that he was a good person underneath all of the bad. So many times he thanked me for staying with him. He told me so many times of how I was the best thing that ever happened to him. When things were “good” between us we got along so well. We hunted and fished together. We sat around and had some of the best conversations and best laughs. I was constantly telling him how adorable he was.

    I had finally had enough. When TS starting calling me names, I started doing the same thing back to him. I hit him where it hurts with the cut downs I said about him. I became what he had been. The only difference is that I never got physical with him. Through our entire marriage, he would claim that he never wanted to see me again and then within a short time he was all over me againThe very last time we had gotten back together, I actually thought we had made 110 percent progress toward finally getting through all of the bad. Then one day, over something very minor, we started talking about a divorce.

    We finally divorced. He filed but it was a mutual agreement ( at least at the time it was) We had a past history of “calling wolf” about a divorce but usually after things calmed down we were okay (actually, better than ever). I let him do the filing because I had processed the divorce myself all the other times. I told him that he would have to pay an attorney and get it done. He did. It was final within about 45 days. He suddenly took the attitude that he was divorcing me because he kept saying that I was mean. The final change of his attitude toward me came when he became the divorcer and I was the divorcee. He has made it his mission in life to blame me for the marriage failure by claiming that I nagged at him and says I am a mean person (and yes, I did nag about his abuse, his cheating, his neglect of not doing his share of the housework (which he did nothing), and his neglect of his kids. He would only see his kids every other weekend but spent the whole time running with his cousin in the deer woods or fishing and would leave the kids at home alone with nothing to do. He never took them to do anything fun.

    After the divorce was final, we tried to be friends and sexual partners. One minute he was a sweetheart and the next he was a jerk. He would ask to me stop calling him. I continued to stay in touch. There were so many mixed times. One time he would be hateful and the next time he would be wonderful. The problem I had was pointing out all of the wrong things he did to me. It finally ended after he claimed that he hated me. This hate came after I wrote a letter to him revealing my feelings about his abuse and his cheating. It apparently struck a “truth” nerve so deep inside him. I kept trying to defend myself against his claim the he was divorcing me because I had been the bad person in the marriage. I tried to explain in this letter that it was not my fault that he abused me. I used an example of his step mother’s abuse of him. I asked him if he felt he deserved her abuse. I also pointed out to him that he has two daughters that he would hate to see a man abuse one of them. He also could not understand why my family didn’t like him. I told him, in this letter, that he would not like his daughter’s husband if she were abused or hit by her husband. The letter was nothing more to me than an attempt for him to stop blaming me for his problems and to express how much I loved him but how hurt I had been by his actions. I felt so betrayed because I stood by his side through so many times and that I forgave him for the things he had done

    Now, TS is filled with so much hate towards me. It hurts very badly because I worked myself to death to help him change his ways. I felt that I had sacrificed so much for him. It is like getting an alcoholic or a drug addicted spouse through their problem and then been tossed in the trash after the person is cured. I gave my full support to him and he just gave up on us. I can understand that after awhile he finally felt like he would never be able to live his mistakes down with me. I started realizing that I needed to ease up on him. He never gave me the chance to show him that I could. Even though it may have been that I left him due to abuse, he found a way to make it look like it was my fault. Usually, TS calms down after anywhere from a few weeks to a few months and he will start talking to me again and get over his “hate”. This time he has been steady with his hate. One time we were separating for 4 months without any contact. Then out of the blue he called me and wanted me to come back to him. The last time we were apart for 7 months. He called me and begged me to talk to him. That night he cried and begged me to come back. I was so much on my way to a new and happy life. At the last minute, when I was about to walk away for good, I let him back into my life.

    He is now seeing another woman. He went from, us having a very nice night together and actually feeling like we could get past all the bad times, to hating me; all within a week. He tells me that he is going to do different with this woman. (I forgot to mention that he was married to two other women that he also physically, verbally, and emotionally abused and cheated on. I found this out after I had fallen head over heels in love with him and my heart was doing the thinking rather than my head. I still feel this way sometimes because I think I would take him back in a heartbeat.) He kept promising me that he would change for our marriage. He has told me that she is a nice person and she thinks the world of him. I reminded him that I thought the world of him and that for years he thought I was nice too. He told me that he has changed and that he was going to treat her like a queen. My response to that was to ask him why he could not have done that for me after he promised so many times that he would. I didn’t ask to be treated like a queen; I just wanted to be treated with respect. He told me time and time again that I treated him better than any other woman he had been with. He would sit for hours and talk about our future life together. How does a person just flip a switch completely the opposite direction in such a short time?

    I do not hate TS. I actually live in this dream world that one day he will “wake up” and realize that he was wrong. I live in a dream world that he will get rid of the dark side, thank me for helping him change his ways, and we would live happily ever after. I actually love this man more than any other man I have ever been with. I would do near anything to help him better himself and have all the good times we once had, with the bad times gone. Worse case would be if he could just sincerely thank me for helping him change (if he truly has) and apologize for giving up on us. If he has truly changed, I feel extremely cheated that I did not reap the reward of having him as my partner. Like I said, apart from his drinking, abusiveness, cheating, and laziness in household responsibilities, he was a good man. Remember, I said dream world. I am living in reality but not without hurt and the feeling of betrayal. I would like to see the day come when he can sit down and sincerely express his apologies for what he did to me, accept the responsibility for his own wrong doings, and make peace between us. I also hope that someone who knows him will read this and see that I am not the bad person that he keeps telling everyone I am.

    Can you actually believe that I sometimes regret this divorce? Yeah, me neither! I have not dated anyone steady and have no desire to any time soon. I have had a few dates and I have had several men try to get me to go out with them. I just think I need to do my own thing for awhile. I am actually enjoying my single life but I do miss the married life too. It is kind of like the career I use to have. I made good many but started hating the long hours and stressful days. Every now and then I think I might get back into that field, but quickly realize how I would still hate the long days and the stress. I realize that it would not make me happy.

    I trust in God. I feel that he has his way of taking me down a path so I will appreciate what is coming ahead. I also believe in my name, Karma. I know that what goes around will usually come back around. I do wish him the best. If my purpose in his life was to help him change for the better, then I hope I served my time well while I was with him.

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  • by Anonymous on July 26th, 2008

    Anonymous

    hell yeah i hate my ex husband hes a cheater a liar and an alcoholic, he cheated on me twice and we even moved countries to start a new life and he still does it to me...but i have to tolerate him because of our 3 beautiful kids.....we are still living together(which i cant wait to get my own place) but i cant stand the bastard sometimes i wish he would be better off dead but then i think of our kids......i really despise him and i hope karma will get him.....

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  • by Snooky-- Is confused on June 19th, 2008

    Snooky-- Is confused

    yes, bc he is a mama's boy.. donest take responsiblity.. i mean literally ihe might as well be married to his mom

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  • by LaurenFortWorth on June 19th, 2008

    LaurenFortWorth

    i dont hate him but i will say this i got the best of him and thats my son!!!

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  • by FinallySingleMom on June 19th, 2008

    FinallySingleMom

    I am getting to that point. I never wanted to hate him, I really would like to be friends so that our kids can be well adjusted.
    But, I am starting to really, really dislike him alot because after we separated, he has done nothing but harass me and tell me I WILL love him again, no matter how many times I tell him it's over. He is obsessed, borderline psychotic, and I know he can get it under control if he wants to...so yeah, I'm beginning to hate him. I'm disgusted when I look at him now.

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  • by soliel839 on June 18th, 2008

    soliel839

    It takes too much energy to hate. Why bother? If that situation did not work it;s time to move on. Why waste time you can spend finding the true love of your life to hate what happened in the past?

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  • by I quit. on April 4th, 2008

    I quit.

    I don't hate him. I just hate what he does to my children and I.

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  • by bigtomk on April 2nd, 2008

    bigtomk

    I absolutely despise my ex-wife. But, that's only because while we were married she got pregnant with someone elses baby and didn't have the nerve to say anything until the child was 6 weeks old. The worst part of the story is that she had slept with so many other people that she had no idea who the father actually was.

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  • by SunnyC67 on October 22nd, 2007

    SunnyC67

    Yes, because he is an ass!

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  • by Anonymous on September 4th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Yes, I do. I know it sounds bad and I "shouldn't," but I do. He verbally abused me and made me feel like I was nothing. He ruined my life. My friends I use to have he made me give up and think that they didn't care, when they did. They were against us being together; but he made me think they didn't want me to be happy. Well guess what, I wasn't. Because of him I can't trust anyone and I don't want to get married ever again. He messed up everything in my life. I realize I allowed him to do this, but the way he disguised all of this as love and just everything else he's done (cheating, name calling, etc) I hate him.

    I don't even hate the person that raped me, but I hate my ex.

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  • by SABOTEUR on August 26th, 2007

    SABOTEUR

    No.

    At the time I was devastated. In hindsite, her leaving me was one of the best things that's happened to me.

    She taught me how dependent I was on her. My self esteem no longer depends on things or people (outside influences). I know now that happiness is a DECISION, not something someone gives you.

    She taught me the only thing I have that can never be taken is my peace of mind.

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  • by Little big mouth on August 26th, 2007

    Little big mouth

    No, I don't think I could really hate someone I loved so much but I do pity him

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  • by MIA on June 23rd, 2007

    MIA

    Hate is probably too strong a word. I dislike the way he treats our children. He has always drawn them in the middle of mine and his disagreements and I hate that. He made my kids feel like they needed to choose him over me. Which is funny to me in a way because it has only backfired on him.

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  • by Mr n Mrs M... on June 23rd, 2007

    Mr n Mrs M...

    Coz Shes a two-timing scum sucking double dealing worm eating cow smelling dung munching sewer breathed butt licking whore of babylon... Shall I continue.... lol ;-)

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  • by judgebill on June 8th, 2007

    judgebill

    The problem is that at one time we chose our partner and made a commitment to live together. Then we became disenchanted with the partner, or the partner left us. So now we are faced with the reality that we made a bad choice. We made a mistake. In an effort to avoid acknowledging our own poor choice of partner we tend to blame the partner. But it is our own choice that we are really blaming. So to hate your ex is to really hate yourself, to hate yourself for having made the poor choice.

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  • by Midnighttoker on April 22nd, 2007

    Midnighttoker

    yes. she took my sons just for spite. they didn't want to go.

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  • by Jlo on April 22nd, 2007

    Jlo

    I did at first, he cheated on me when I was preg. & then after I forgave him for that he and my so-called "best friend" were caught being more than friends at his bday party. However, no one told me for a yr. so they both got away w/ it for a year after that. But we have a child and it(divorce)is much easier on her(our child) and everyone else to forgive (not forget)& continue on.We've been divorced for 3yrs & we get along great now (usually). We were best friends before we married and now we are friends again. It's much easier to be able to discuss issues concerning our child, money, or anything really if you can be friends.Both parties are more willing to help out the other.

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  • by ArmyWifey on April 11th, 2007

    ArmyWifey

    Hate, no...dislike yes!

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  • by Barcaluv on April 11th, 2007

    Barcaluv

    No. We get along fine. We both remarried and are happier than ever. Besides we have a son and keeping a good relationship is a positive environment for him.

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  • by LynfromNM on February 4th, 2007

    LynfromNM

    No, in fact we are quite good friends now, and enjoy planning surprises for our children and grandchildren together. We also discuss things like the true causes of the Great Depression and commiserate over odd family members. I named his two dogs and picked out the tile for his swimming pool. Just like good friends.

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  • by kitty loves you on February 4th, 2007

    kitty loves you

    I wouldn,t say I hate my ex but I feel alot of contempt for him as he tried his best to turn our 2 kids against me. For a while he succeeded but the tables have turned now so if anything I feel sorry for him.

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  • by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on February 4th, 2007

    P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines

    Yes, I hate my exhusband and his new girlfriend. He cheated on me with her while he was still married to me. He took my kid from me and made false accusations to CSB to get back at me for leaving him. He also kept some very sentamental and family heirlooms from me. And they have told some horrible lies to my son so that he thinks I don't love him or want him around and that I'm not his real mommy, she is. When I called to tell him my fiancee had died he was actually happy. And it brought him even more joy to keep my son from the funeral and wake. He said it wasn't my visatation time and that my son already had plans that couldn't be changed just because Jay had died. They then told him that Jay was mean to him and that he was happy he was gone. And there are even more stories that are just as bad.

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  • by porcupine on January 30th, 2007

    porcupine

    I hate my exhusband because when I left him he was dealing drugs, having an affair,(girlfriend was pregnant when we got a divorcee) and physically & emotionally abusive. Then he ends up with the kids and tells me that my rights have been terminated and now the state wants me to send them a check for $10,000 in child support.

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  • by SonicSand on January 27th, 2007

    SonicSand

    No, I honestly seldom think of him. We have both moved on and realize our marriage was a mistake made by two immature, young people.

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  • by Anonymous on January 22nd, 2007

    Anonymous

    Honestly, sometimes I do. I wish I had a different answer than that, like "Hate is too strong a word", but under my personal circumstances, the word 'hate' is not strong enough sometimes. I have one more year to go, then I will let it all go and practice feeling nothing for him at all...

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  • by ntmyflt75 on May 19th, 2009

    ntmyflt75

    I am trying my best to not hate him but he is not making it easy. We have a beautiful baby girl and I refuse to let her ever hear anything bad about her father from me.

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  • by RobotMan on May 5th, 2009

    RobotMan

    Yes I hate my ex-wife. I caught her having sex with another men on my bed, when I seen it I left the room and never came back home.

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  • by ptrask on May 5th, 2009

    ptrask

    Nope. I just don't want to be with her.

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  • by schmee2369 on May 5th, 2009

    schmee2369

    I dont hate him, but I dislike him...alittle.
    Why?...Cuz he broke and entered in my friends house
    He kidnapped me and beat me for hours...
    He tried to kill me...
    and he abused me for years...
    LoL...I think I could hate him, but its not doing me any good to stay peeved for the rest of my life.

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  • by Zack on March 2nd, 2009

    Zack

    I hate myself more for letting her get to me the way she has.

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  • by sunshine2009 on December 16th, 2008

    sunshine2009

    At the moment yes, because he knows he is hurting me, but I think it feeds his ego, once I am no longer there for him....we'll see. Lifes A Beach!

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  • Do u hate ur ex? why & why not?

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