I THINK MY HUSBAND LKES TRANSGENDERS. I HAVE FOUND PIC'S AND DIFFRENT SHEMALE SITES ON OUR COMPUTER. I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTING TO HIM. I'M SICK TO THE STOMACH AND VERY HURT. DOES THIS MEAN HE'S BI-SEXUAL? SHOULD TELL HIM I SAW THESE SITES?

don't worry loads of men are turned on by shemales, though they'll never admit it

The whole point of porn is fantasy. I have rape fantasies, will I ever rape anyone? NO!

Well now you've found these pictures, you have little choice but to ask him what this is all about. The longer you keep quiet, the worse you will feel and the more worried and panic-stricken you will become. Do your level best to control the urge to fly into a rage else things could turn into a screaming match between you before he actually explains anything at all. What you need, is the most honest answer he can give and to get it, you must the urge to 'go bananas' - at least for as long as you can. It may help to ask him when you are away from the house so that the conversation does not deteriorate after you say the first words. It's going to be bloody hard to control your emotions so being outside in public when you broach the subject, will help control things. Resist the urge to hurl accusations if you can because you need him to be open and honest about this, not defensive and closed from the outset. Take this one step at a time and don't waste time worrying over what comes next and so on. First off, concern yourself with gritting your teeth and actually approaching him with what you have found (this is hard enough). There is little to be gained in worrying over what his answer will be or might be as yet because you don't know what it is until you ask so cross that bridge when you come to it. Lots of luck. Be brave and know that asking him is never ever going to feel any worse than this god awful 'limbo' of not knowing that you are in now.

Sexuality is more fluid than a lot of people acknowlege. People often go through stages where they have a fetish for something and that interest often turns them on more because its a private fetish that others do not know about and its different and obsquere from what they do on a day to day basis. Even in the most comfortable relationship everyone can secretly have 'strange' interests and the fact they are obsure and secretive is the most of the turn on for most men.
I can understand you shock but do not jump to any conclusions. I would still talk about it with him because in a relationship its best out in the open.

first, drop the caps
second, don't be HURT by any porn activity.
third, yes talk to him, find out why he is looking at shemales
fourth, decide for yourself if it is unforgivable, forgivable, or acceptable. then talk to him about it (do not brow beat him into agreeing, you'll only get deciet) if you are incompatible in this area you have to say goodbye so both of you can have a good relationship with someone else.

Listen hunny I am sorry ok I just like penis?? How does a guy answer that.

I look at weird Porn all the time some people are into sooo weird shit (2 girls 1 cup) unless you think he is cheating does it really matter it's just porn I am sure you think about stuff he wouldnt like. Like David Hasselhoff <how is that spelled

What are you gaining by hiding it? He may have a logical reason, I'd love to hear it but do you love him enough to go on if all is true and he is?

I think maybe just talk to him about it. Different people like different things, and it sounds like he likes to look at transgendered pornography. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Just talk to him about it rather than making assumptions, the situation may not be as bad as you think it is.

He just has a weird fetish, might not be what you're into, ask him about it; you don't have to like it; I'm sure there is something that turns you on that doesn't do it at all for someone else.

Example; I have a friend who really likes facials; I personally think it's ewww, but I really like gay porn... does it mean I'm gay?? no, its just hot and there are lots of curves that are visually attractive; its all a matter of preference... but for all you know he might be bi- and if that matters to you ask him about it first, don't go accusing him of liking men just because he likes boy parts on girl bpdies.

it means hes gay. no matter how hard a male trys to look like a female hes a guy

Get a strap on and make him pay for making you sick to the stomach!

It's all photoshop. Put something here, a couple of things there and you get strange photos. Maybe he was just learning how to use the software. That, or buy a strap on for Valentines day.

Before you freak yourself out any more, you need to explain to him that you saw his pictures, and try to talk to him about what it is that he finds so gripping about that type of thing. He could possibly be bisexual, or even pansexual, yes, but you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Approach it with an open mind, and don't be aggressive when you speak with him about it. Attempting to rationalize this and label his sexuality because of it, not to mention conveying a sense of non-acceptance toward something that may very well turn him on, will get you nowhere fast. Be calm, and, more importantly, be open-minded.

May I say "if you discovered pictures of advanced tumors and rare medical conditions!" on your husbands computer would you be wondering if he was healthy?
I would say that it's fine to have the odd look at pornography, it shows a healthy attitude to sex and it is little more than normal human curiosity.
It doesn't mean anything to me, perhaps I might suggest that you take the chance to both look at things like that which just might stimulate things for you!

no

YES, Open up to him, and he will to you.

HELL I'M A FEMALE AND I LIKE TO SEE TRANSGENDER THEY ARE VERY SEXY PEOPLE

The longer you keep this to yourself the worse your going to feel. You need to tell him what you saw. To get the truth only ask questions that begin with What, why, and when. Do not ask any questions that can be just answered yes or no and therefore he can avoid answering truthfully. Also, do not say I want to talk to you. He will immediately be on "guard". Ask him when he is least expecting it. It doesn't necessarily mean he's bi-sexual, but he could be. Another idea, put the computer on one of the sites and ask him to come and look what's on the computer and ask him "what's this all about?" Make sure you look him directly in the eyes. Good Luck.

Maybe he fantasizes about receiving anal sex, but isn't attracted to men. Shemales may be the half-way point between the two. Strap one on and let him have it! And no, I don't think that would be 'gay sex'

Maybe he's into kinky porn but doesn't act on it. Sounds unhealthy to me!!

Do you have kids? Could it be one of them?

You should tell him that you are in The Yellow Pages, looking for a good divorce attorney.

listen- if he's looking at a few times he's definately messed up and totally into it. I would dump his ass so fast it wouldnt be funny if i were u. I knew a girl who told me this same thing- she had to learn the hard way.

First off. Turn the cap lock off. We abers are very capable of reading the smaller font.
Anywho, I would bring it up in conversation. You never know why its on there. Try not to make assumptions. talking will help the situation more

He may be bisexual. Lots of married men are. It's not the end of the world. You should try to be understanding and talk to him about it.

To answer this question, I need a list of the sites and passwords if any.

you may have a serious problem seek profesional help or just leave

It takes more than looking at sites on a computer to make one bisexual. However, he is your husband and if your gut tells you to take note, I would do it. How can you be in a marriage and not be able to discuss this with him? You need to feel comfortable discussing any topic with a lifelong mate. Get counseling for both of you to open up the lines of communication and hopefully resolve this issue.

What if you had found out he was looking at just regular ol' straight 1 guy 1 girl porn? Would you be as upset?

If no, then don't worry about it. I'm married and straight, but I do enjoy watching TG with a female porn. Just something extra.

If yes, you would be upset, then you both need to talk about it. To clearly understand each other's expectations.

Does he hide in the garage or somewhere else like where you can not see him.What else does he look up and do you know him well.Only you know him best!!!!!!!!!

It should not be a problem. I would not bring up the issue unless you want your marriage to go south in a hurry. Men have delicate egos, which are hurt easily. Men enjoy a variety of sexual viewing interests. 99% of the guys watching the porn enjoy watching, but could never be a participant in more fringe activity porn like Shemale sex.

Shemales are a Hollywood invention. Real TGs who have developed breasts via hormone treatment have male their organs shrink and become nonfunctional. The Typical Hollywood Shemale has breast implants and has had no hormone treatment. He is still a functional male. Shemales are gay men. They are not transsexuals.

Caps mean you are yelling....Talk to your man. Some guys are bicurious and feel more man like if its a she male then a guy. Dont give up on him if you truely love him. Work it out or be ready for some major changes.

Only ask if you really want to talk about it? But accept the fact you might not like what you here. But liking one doesn't mean you love the other less.

Guys are weird in general.

The real question you want to ask is will he cheat on you? Has he given you any reason to think he will cheat?

But also understand it will probably be hard for him to be forthright especially if he cares about losing. So be tactful and try not to make him feel like he's on the spot. People's sexual thoughts are private. Being privy to them is another level intimacy.

1. Please don't use all-caps.

2. No it doesn't really mean that he's bi. Lots of men like shemales. What makes a shemale different is that he tries to make himself as feminine as possible. If you've ever seen one of those Maury Povich shows, you'll know that some are quite convincing - so, if he's attracted to people who look female in all ways but one, can you still say he's bi?

3. Yes, you should talk to him about it. If it's bothering you so much, you shouldn't keep it inside.

I might be your husband. I am a married man and I likE tO WATCH trangender porn. It is the ultimate freaky sex if you ask me but I have no real desire to HAVE SEX WITH THEM. iTS JUST FREAKY LIKE WATCHING TWO DOGS HAVING SEX. tHAT DOESN'T MEAN i WANT TO JOIN THEM EVEN IF THE SIGHT OF IT CAUSES ME TO GET AN ERECTION, THAT DOES NOT MEAN i WANT TO JOIN IN.

Maybe he is amazed with how much they look like one thing but aren't!

Maybe he has them to make photoshops of friends or maybe just for shock value in emails or to do something crazy like set a friends wallpaper as a tranny, thats kinda funny stuff I might do with a picture like that. If he has hundreds of them that might be another story. I would ask him but dont ask unless you are prepared for the worse. Make sure when you ask him you dont come across hurt or like its significant at all or otherwise he may be apt to hide the truth, make him feel comfortable to tell you the truth. You may not like the answer but isnt it better to know the truth even if it hurts.

There are alot of men who are bi curious and trans gender porn is a way to make them feel less guilty cause even though the other person has male equipment it is wrapped in a female package with breasts. Speak with your man calmly and get it all in the open. As long as you both love each other you can overcome anything,

I wouldn't make it a problem. People don't necessarily fit into "little neat sexual roles", and a lot like to fantasize and "experiment" in their minds about things not deemed "normal" in society. Just because he likes it doesn't mean he loves you less, or finds you sexually attractive too. Let him have his private space for fantasies. And just because you "found" some pics on the computer you shouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that he "does" like them. Maybe he was just curious and forgot to delete them. But it's best not to confront him about them----doing so will only create a bad scenario for both of you. As long as he continues to love and support you, you should try your best to overlook it.

naaa, looking at a couple of those sites doesn't make him bisexual. the irony that after looking at an attractive female one sees an erect penis might be analogous to the underlying processes of humor. we are thinking in logical, progressive terms and, suddenly, bam, a bomb is dropped on us that makes us see our thinking in a different way. we laugh.

i saw a comedian, that gin-toting redneck comedian who appears sometimes with jeff foxworthy. he said once that his straight friends were funny. "are you gay" "hell no" "you watch porn?" "hell yea!" "you like looking at naked women getting f@#%*#( by men?" "hell yea!" "you like the penises small and limp?" "naa, i like 'em long and hard". so, are his straight friends all gay? no. is there some part of them that we could label bi-sexual? sure. would we be accurate in doing so? naa!

i surely wouldn't see this as a rejection of you in any way. i'm an advocate of talking, especially when married. i'd make it non-threatening, maybe even fun, tell a joke and ask him about those sites. if he denies it, drop it, but then keep your eyes open - it could be that your 8 year old son is visiting those sites, which is grounds for a whole different discussion! how long have you been married? i wonder if there is something that he might like to happen in your sexual interactions that hasn't been happening that wouldn't bother you but might bring him great delight? same for you - you're not a silent partner in the bedroom.

communication without judgment is important in marriages. best wishes,

confront him. Its your relationship and Its your business too. If you dont say anything your always going to have that feeling of betrayal. Perhaps theres an explanation. If not then atlast you know and you dont have questions in your head about it. You cant change it if hes Bi- sexual, you can except it or move on tho. What ever feels rite to you. Hes your husband so obviously you love him enough to get this far. Deal with it together, it will be for the best.

I think open communication in a marriage is the single most important method of keeping to together. However, both parties need to be able to discuss a subject rationally and intelligently. Ranting and raving or attacking one or other’s person is a death knelt for the marriage. You can discuss his interest and be on sound ground. If done in a reason fashion you can both come away from the discussion better for it.

The porn industry identified a marketable topic and has provided what its customers want. Outside of Hollywood and where ever else the movies are made, shemales don not exist other than extremely rare genetic mutations. Hermaphrodites, people born with both male and female sex organs, exist, but in so few numbers that you would find it almost impossible to find one. I have known one and nonly as an email buddy.

Transgender or transsexual people, those with mindsets and bodies have different genders, compose roughly one percent of the population. A MTF (male to female transgender) TG does not have a female body, but does have a female mindset. The only way to change the male body is to add breasts and remove male organs. A regimine of female hormones increases breast size, smooths skin, reduces hair growth, shrinks male organs, etc. The male body becomes more female. His/her male perfomance capicity generally goes to zero, assuming the MTF TG is remotely interested I functiong as a male sexually.

A Shemale is no more or less than a male, generally having breast implants, who is made up to appear as a female. Men like your husband find the concept of making love to a man repulsive, but still are attracted to the concept of male on male sex. The Shemale fits his need to enjoy the male on male sex, while it allows him to do so by fooling himself into thinking that the men are at least in some part women.

I am a MTF TG. I have been on hormones for years with the standard results. I get hit on by guys, typically like your husband, who have no idea what real TGs are like or what their limitations are. Once explained 99% of the men get annoyed and run off to hide in their personal fantasy world.

I’ll skip the book it would take to discuss the subject. I’ll give you a few basics. The suicide rat and STD rates in the TG community run about 30%. The cost of a MTF body conversion can run nexcess of $100K. SRS, the sexual operation which takes care of the male to female external fix runs 10K to 20K, the facial surgery is the most expensive. Only a small portion of TGs can afford the process. Most limit their conversion process to taking hormones.

The most beautiful woman that I have met in my life underwent the entire conversion process. No one would know that she had started life as a male with or without her clothes on. The average GYN doctor would not notice.

Shemales are available as prostitutes in most big cities. Some are exquisitely beautiful. It is a marketable product, so the product was made to serve it. The kind of gurl that men like your husband are looking for costs about $500 an hour or $1,500 a night.

The vast majority of men enjoy pornography. It provides a sexual outlet and yes it is or can become an obsession. Watching has nothing in common with doing. Fantasizing is normal. Being able to live the fantasy is entirely different and rare.

I would do a bit of introspective thinking, before talking with your husband. Look at your own fantasies, if any. Bring those to the table and see what you can both do to improve your relationship in and out of the bedroom.

Good luck dealing with both your husband’s interest and your ability to deal with it. What is is. Freud said that the only abnormal sex is no sex.

he is gay... I have the same problem with my husband... he told me he could watch whatever he wants cause he is grown... NO HETEROSEXUAL MALE/STRAIGHT, man is remotely curious about what another man looks like dressed as a damn woman... i don't care how good they look, how much make up they put on, or how much tucking they do... they are still men... and if your husbands is looking at trannys like mine does... run... whether he is on top or bottom or just having oral sex... he attracted to men and I suggest you get the hell out quickly... he will continue to lie to you because he is lying to himself... don't waste your breath asking about the pictures.. he will lie about whatever you ask.

You know what your question makes me feel like doing? Looking that stuff up on Google just to see what people think of me if they catch me. It means to me that there are pictures and different shemale sites on the computer you two use. Maybe you could ask him what's up. He might be embarrassed, though, so keep that in mind.

i am married and am kind of like your husband. because of the fear of rejection and loss of my wife i have kept my crossdressing private. i love to dress up when i can and have managed to keep it a secrete. the reason i look at transgender sites is because there is no other outlets for me. i cannot tell my friends and esp my wife as i would never want to hur her, and like when you found out about your husband it was very negtive. i am definitely not bi or gay and if you visit most crossdress site 80% of men who like feminine attire are straight, they just have no outlets. when dressed i do fantasize some about being with men but i would much more prefer to be with a woman or wife that accepts my needs without being condeming. i know its not right the way you found out, but men like your husband and myself have to surpress our desires because of the rejection. good luck.

I could chat to him and see what he wanted

You'd better talk to him.

Some of the answers you've already received are pretty good, at least those at the top of the list (in general). I haven't read all of them, and don't plan to.

My first response to you, though, is to examine YOURSELF and your reaction to these photos. Before you talk to him, confront him, make any decisions about "him" ask yourself why these photos upset you so much. Before you saw them, what kind of relationship did you have with your husband? How do these photos change that?

I doubt very much whether your husband is bisexual. That's nowhere near as common as some attempt to make it seem. You know him better than anyone else -- what do you think? And in any case, even if he is "attracted to" others than yourself -- and even if some of those others are men -- what does he actually do about that? If he's just looking at photos and aroused by that, then where's the harm?

However, even though not all men are turned on by shemales and futanari (a style of animated cartoon depicting the same thing, sometimes in very extreme forms), all of the men I know ARE turned on by various forms and displays of sex. And NONE of the men I know -- and I work with a lot of other men -- would think of cheating on their wives, even though most of us travel a lot and have ample opportunity. In my 20+ year marriage, I never did, either. But we always "look"; it's just what we do.

So that brings me to the last part of your self-realization, which should be to disabuse you of any notion that "you're not enough for him and that means it's the end between you". ALL MEN LOOK. It has nothing to do with "you", and everything to do with HIM / US. WE LOOK. You should have already known this.

Finally, when you're ready to, then yes, you should tell him as calmly as possible that you have seen these sites and you want to know more -- to understand him. If you find this developing into an "argument", or if he starts getting defensive, then you need to drop the subject and try to approach it again another time. If you try to extract promises from him not to visit these sites again then you will probably both be disappointed, because he will feel resentful that you are making demands on him that have nothing to do with you (other than appeasement) and you will be disappointed when you find that he breaks the promise, sooner or later.

I'm not saying that your feelings are "wrong", but obviously you're not comfortable with your current feelings, and want to feel better again. The way you can do that is to understand that your husband is THE SAME GUY he was before you discovered the photos and websites. Was that a bad guy, or not? If he wasn't a bad guy then, then he still isn't. All you need to do is restore your trust that he is who you always thought he was, and regain a comfort level with him that you can accept. I'm NOT saying that you have to accept this, either. But you should make allowance for his psyche to be different from yours.

Probably just a temporary fascination with an heretofore unknown aspect of human sexuality. No, it does NOT mean he's bi-sexual! No, it does not necessarily mean that he "likes transgenders." Give it time to lose its fascination for him and see what happens.

If these sites are on your shared computer then he does not care if you find out he is looking or not.

If you snooped out the sites, then you were already looking for something you had suspicions of - would be a different discussion

So Transgenders aren't my cup o' tea, but there must be other sites as well.

Hubby must already know your low tolerance, so surfs porn as an outlet(?)

He's probably not bi.

Since it makes you sick to your stomach, then there is no point in confronting him with your find and start an argument.

He is still the same guy he was when you married him. something changed between then and his surfing porn - was it you?

Hit the reset button in your relationship - join or leave.