What are some possible reasons why I constantly push people away (metaphorically speaking)?

I'm thinking you might fear rejection once people learn to know more about you. You may also not wish to invest the time, emotion and energy to maintain new friendships, especially without a guarantee that it will last or fearing that the person may prove to be too needy or too demanding.

Fear of intimacy? Fear of who you really are? I push people away sometimes because I fear that they won't like me once they find out what I'm really like/who I really am.

Because you are afraid they might reject you, so you reject them first.

Because of past experiences you may have trust issues and/or fear of abandonment.I think I do the same thing.I feel that in the past I trusted too freely and now I want people to "earn" my trust.By pushing them away it kind of weeds the ones out that are not willing to take the time to do this,which to me is a sign that they are not really going to be there for you in hard times anyways.

There are a lot of possible reasons. You could be fed up with people not understanding, but believing they do or them just not listening. You could fear that either they will, in time, hurt you, or you to them. It could also be an unwillingness to want to have another's problem(s) to be placed onto your own or just the fact that you're not ready to spend the time because maybe you think that everything you say would and will be used against you one day. It really depends on what has happened in your life and how people have been to you.

I think when we don't know why we do things its because its all subcontious. If you subcontiously don't want this person close to you, you will react to those signals. That's my theory, take it or leave it.

Maybe you are smart .

You were rejected in some way in the past. It was a source of great pain that you either acknowledge or suppress.

perhaps your standards are too high.fear of sharing your knowledge with the layman.or you may even be superintelligent but remember one thing,an annoying soldier can also save your life.
teaching remains the greatest profession.
knowledge is usless if it cannot be shared.go ahead,be friendly and share your knowledge.it is very gratifying.

You mean like not responding to their e-mails on this topic!? :-)

You're someone who just loves and needs their own space. Nothing wrong with that !

It could be there is an unresolved emotional issue that resurfaces when people get close to you. They show you something about yourself that is not resolved, and until it is , there can be the tendency to push people away that remind us of whatever it is.
Fear of intimacy, fear of commitment.
Having been hurt before.

I agree with most of the responses posted here - we have some smart cookies on AB, with great understanding of the human condition.

Maybe you are scared to confront these people or maybe there is no point at all for what so reasons to even entertain these issues.

Share your answer...

i do it...i hate that i do...but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that i've invested so much into the lives of my friends...and i always feel it's one way. I want so badly to have that really close relationship but no matter how hard i try..i always feel like i'm not good enough for them or that they just don't want me. So i slowly distance myself from them until eventually, no one is left.

I don't know about you, but I do it because I can be very sensitive to things that my friends might say or do. I won't tell them why I pushed them away, I just ignore them.

I avoid people much of the time, and I think people avoid me too. For that latter part, it is because I don't enjoy many of the light things that attract people to one another. As for why I avoid people: The reasons are: One, I am a writer, I don't enjoy crowd, hardly can I stand what many people do which often is about talking films, film stars, music stars and the rest. I spend much of my time alone, reading, reaserching, writing etc. In that case, I consciously make effort not to attract too many people to myself. This is because of my concern that when I do, and then it is time for me to push them away in order to do things I need to do, I may offend them.

I don't know whether your line of work requires that you spend much time alone. If you do, it may be one reason you, even unconsciously, push people away, meaning it becomes part of you to automatically push people away. For me, I reasoned it is part of my way of facing reality. The truth is, the more time I spend alone, the more of my kind of work that I get done. I think being realistic will help you not to worry too much about pushing people way. Don't get me wrong, I could enjoy a nice discussion, a good laugh, an intense debate, a time out, but I have this pattern that even as I do those things, my mind goes to the things I have to do, and that places a limit on how muchI hang around people or I allow them to hang around me.

But note one thing, I believe that when you say you push people away, it does not mean you dont interact at all. In that case, this is my advice: however few the people you mix with are, however little the time you spend with them is, ensure you maximize it, be sincere, warm, considerate, show yourself a quality person, let the true you show as a person of worth. This is important because the few people you relate well with will pass the message on, they will remember you warmly and do so better than others with whom they spend 24 hours but benefitted nothing worhtwhile. With the way you are, naturally your friends will be few, but they will be quality people, those with a true heart.

Please, don't worry yourself too much about 'pushing people away' if you know that is the way you are. But also, don't loose your capacity to make/cultivate new friends when it is important you do. Why? Whatever you want to get, give the same first. It works for me.

You have an ick cloud like me

I think there's something in it for you. Does it fulfil an idea you have about yourself? Have you already told yourself that they have the potential to hurt you or you're not good enough for them? It's possible that once you find out what that is, you'll stop pushing them away. What's in it for you? Go deep!