What are some possible reasons why I constantly push people away (metaphorically speaking)?
by 
Carmella
ANSWERS: 18
-
Fear of intimacy? Fear of who you really are? I push people away sometimes because I fear that they won't like me once they find out what I'm really like/who I really am.
-
I'm thinking you might fear rejection once people learn to know more about you. You may also not wish to invest the time, emotion and energy to maintain new friendships, especially without a guarantee that it will last or fearing that the person may prove to be too needy or too demanding.
-
I think when we don't know why we do things its because its all subcontious. If you subcontiously don't want this person close to you, you will react to those signals. That's my theory, take it or leave it.
-
perhaps your standards are too high.fear of sharing your knowledge with the layman.or you may even be superintelligent but remember one thing,an annoying soldier can also save your life. teaching remains the greatest profession. knowledge is usless if it cannot be shared.go ahead,be friendly and share your knowledge.it is very gratifying.
-
There are a lot of possible reasons. You could be fed up with people not understanding, but believing they do or them just not listening. You could fear that either they will, in time, hurt you, or you to them. It could also be an unwillingness to want to have another's problem(s) to be placed onto your own or just the fact that you're not ready to spend the time because maybe you think that everything you say would and will be used against you one day. It really depends on what has happened in your life and how people have been to you.
-
Maybe you are scared to confront these people or maybe there is no point at all for what so reasons to even entertain these issues.
-
Because of past experiences you may have trust issues and/or fear of abandonment.I think I do the same thing.I feel that in the past I trusted too freely and now I want people to "earn" my trust.By pushing them away it kind of weeds the ones out that are not willing to take the time to do this,which to me is a sign that they are not really going to be there for you in hard times anyways.
-
Because you are afraid they might reject you, so you reject them first.
-
You mean like not responding to their e-mails on this topic!? :-)
-
You were rejected in some way in the past. It was a source of great pain that you either acknowledge or suppress.
-
Maybe you are smart .
-
I agree with most of the responses posted here - we have some smart cookies on AB, with great understanding of the human condition.
-
It could be there is an unresolved emotional issue that resurfaces when people get close to you. They show you something about yourself that is not resolved, and until it is , there can be the tendency to push people away that remind us of whatever it is. Fear of intimacy, fear of commitment. Having been hurt before.
-
i do it...i hate that i do...but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that i've invested so much into the lives of my friends...and i always feel it's one way. I want so badly to have that really close relationship but no matter how hard i try..i always feel like i'm not good enough for them or that they just don't want me. So i slowly distance myself from them until eventually, no one is left.
-
You're someone who just loves and needs their own space. Nothing wrong with that !
-
I think there's something in it for you. Does it fulfil an idea you have about yourself? Have you already told yourself that they have the potential to hurt you or you're not good enough for them? It's possible that once you find out what that is, you'll stop pushing them away. What's in it for you? Go deep!
-
You have an ick cloud like me
-
I don't know about you, but I do it because I can be very sensitive to things that my friends might say or do. I won't tell them why I pushed them away, I just ignore them.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC