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by A on January 14th, 2009

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Do you believe it's wrong to forgive someone who has cheated on you? Do you believe it's wrong to forgive the person/people who helped your s/o cheat as well? To both of these questions, why or why not?

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Answers. 15 helpful answers below.

  • by Wrong Answer on January 14th, 2009

    Wrong Answer

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    its not wrong to forgive

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  • by VS Angel aka Mrs. Stealth Intelligence on January 14th, 2009

    VS Angel aka Mrs. Stealth Intelligence

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    It's never wrong to forgive...whatever the circumstances.

    Forgiveness heals YOU.

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  • by Waiting for Illumination on January 14th, 2009

    Waiting for Illumination

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    Forgiveness is crucial. You don't have to accept them back or open your heart to them again, but you do need to forgive them. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Holding your anger and hurt inside you only hurts you. Working at understanding and forgiveness heals you and allows you to forgive yourself for your own failings.

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  • by Gingerminx on January 14th, 2009

    Gingerminx

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    No, I don't believe it is wrong. As to the person who cheated, forgiving them allows you to be able to put it behind you and move on. If you are continuing a relationship with them then there needs to be a lot of honest open discussion and they need to realise and do whatever it takes to regain your trust in them. As to people who helped, forgive them again for yourself. If it was people you know then again they have broken your trust and faith in them and if you wish to keep them as friends they also need to regain that trust. If it is a stranger they have no loyalty to you so just let them go.

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on January 14th, 2009

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    Forgive for your own peace..... It's not good to carry grudges and animosity.

    In my 22 year marriage, I have not been cheated on so I can't advise you from any personal experience.

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  • by CaptainHarley adores his life penguin on January 14th, 2009

    CaptainHarley adores his life penguin

    Forgiveness is primarily for you. It helps keep you from becomeing bitter, which can actually lead to health problems if not delt with. Forgiveness does NOT, however, mean you can, or even will be ABLE to forget. Nor does it mean you have to take him/her back.

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  • by Spicy Hot on January 14th, 2009

    Spicy Hot

    No, it isnt wrong.

    You forgive someone for yourself, so that you dont hold on to the bitterness and anger.

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  • by machinerat on January 14th, 2009

    machinerat

    There really isn't anything wron with forgiving either of them. After all, all the anger, hatred and resentment you have inside only hurts yourself, not them. The thing is you an forgive them, but it doesn't mean you have to be their friend, or even like them at all. Nor does forgiveness mean having to put yourself in a situation where you can be hurt again.

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  • by Rahbar on January 14th, 2009

    Rahbar

    It's not that easy to forgive a cheater!
    At least I won't easily...I'll it remember for life!
    I hate trust beakers!

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  • by swimmersay on January 14th, 2009

    swimmersay

    forgive and forget dont go back, if you go back he/she will do it again...

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  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on January 14th, 2009

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    forgiveness is never wrong... however allowing those who betray your trust to remain in positions where they can do so again is wrong. if by helped them cheat you mean a friend of yours who helped keep it hiden, they betrayed you, if you mean a stranger who they cheated with, they had no loyalty to you, so were not capable of betraying you.

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  • by Curia Regis on January 14th, 2009

    Curia Regis

    It would depend on the circumstances, I suppose.. If you are going to forgive them, let them believe that you aren't for a short while. You don't want them thinking you are too lenient.
    At the end of the day, it's all about you. If -you- want this relationship, do it, regardless of the consequences. If you feel knowing they cheated would make you unhappy, then the relationship is not in your best interests and you should look elsewhere. Sometimes it's just a case of "what do I want?" as opposed to "what should I do?"
    Of course, should you choose not to take them back, forgive them, but tell them they have lost your trust, and you couldn't remain with them/go back to them.
    You've got to strike a balance that means you can forgive them and take them back, and in turn be happy in yourself AND not worry about them cheating in future, by making sure they learned their lesson.

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  • by designer is wearing a ....... on January 14th, 2009

    designer is wearing a .......

    Cheating, to me, isn't an event, it is a behavior. I think forgiveness is way over rated. You have to decide whether or not this person is what you want. If this is what you feel you deserve then go for it. If you feel you deserve better then why forgive...He has shown what he is, it is up to you to pay attention..

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  • by KittyCat on January 14th, 2009

    KittyCat

    I don't think it's wrong to forgive someone who cheated on you - if they truly change and you truly forgive them then it can be quite admirable, like you're the bigger person. However, personally, I know I would never be able to trust my partner again, and I think that a relationship where you're constantly wondering if they're going to hurt you again would be torture.

    With regards to the person who helped them cheat, I suppose it would depend how close you were to them in the first place. If it was a sibling for instance, it might be worthwhile forgiving them at least once, because they're always going to be your sibling no matter what. If it was a casual friend, I'd probably cut them out of my life.

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  • by kerr-plunk on January 14th, 2009

    kerr-plunk

    I dont necessarily think its wrong to forgive someone for cheating. It is all up to the person that got cheated on. If that person feels like they can forgive and trust the cheater, then there is a chance the the relationship could work out. Without trust... a relationship is impossible.

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