by katespana on January 5th, 2009

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I rekindled an old friendship with a married man - platonic, but I think he feels more for me than just friendship. I want to cool it down but am not sure of best way forward. I never wanted an affair but feel compromised now as he is keen to make 'dates'

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by black rabbit on January 7th, 2009
he's not that nice if he wants to have an afaair with you. tell him that you don't feel comfortable in his company if he's wife isn't with him, it's inaproprite
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- Good response, thanks. I guess I could simply say, let's all go to lunch, dinner, whatever and see how he reacts.
  
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  by katespana on January 8th, 2009
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by black rabbit on January 6th, 2009
don't tell yourself you are diffent and you understand him. he's just playing tricks on you. you will just get hurt
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- No, I agree totally. I'm not thinking of having an affair with him, I'm feeling pressured to go out with him that's all, because he makes me feel uncomfortable with his obvious 'love'/lust? for me. So, what to do without hurting his feelings - he's very nice and sweet, good manners etc., to me...
  
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  by katespana on January 6th, 2009
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by Galeanda on January 5th, 2009
There is no way forward. I think it's best if you backed out now and ended this friendship or you could end up hurting many more people than just the two of you. Let him make mistakes with people that aren't friends. It's not fair to a friend to get them involved in painful situations that can ruin lives.
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- Thanks for your good sense reply Galeanda. You're right, I don't want to get into any messy situations or lead him on etc.,
  
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  by katespana on January 5th, 2009
- Thanks, I hope things turn out the best for you, katespana:-)
  
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  by Galeanda on January 5th, 2009
- :) They will.
  
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  by katespana on January 5th, 2009
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by Angie on January 5th, 2009
Have experienced with married men that they will "search and seek" whatever is lacking in his marriage. Could be sex, could be conversation, could be companionship. I would come right out and ask him what he wants.
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- Good answer. I can't imagine what he gets that he doesn't get from his wife, she's a nice woman tho' I don't know her well. Maybe I put up with his ways (he can be a bit tedious!) in a more polite, tolerant way than she does? Tho' I can't say I'd do the same if I were in her shoes!
  
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by black rabbit on January 5th, 2009
you should just stop talking to after you tell him how you feel. and don't fall inlove with him if he does it with you he'll do it to you.
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- That's the hard part. I feel a bit guilty as he was so very nice to me when I was down... But there's no chance I'll fall in love with him, just don't have that kind of chemistry, thank goodness!
  
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I rekindled an old friendship with a married man - platonic, but I think he feels more for me than just friendship. I want to cool it down but am not sure of best way forward. I never wanted an affair but feel compromised now as he is keen to make 'dates'

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I rekindled an old friendship with a married man - platonic, but I think he feels more for me than just friendship. I want to cool it down but am not sure of best way forward. I never wanted an affair but feel compromised now as he is keen to make 'dates'

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