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by bright spark. on January 4th, 2009

bright spark.

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Hi ive a close male friend who is married there is nothing in it between us, i call everyone love, his wife is obsessed by this and wants all contact between our friendship ended. I dont fancy my friend by any means so why should i stop texting a mate

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Answers. 19 helpful answers below.

  • by Ms.A on January 4th, 2009

    Ms.A

    Out of respect for their marriage,you should probably back off.It doesn't matter if you fancy him or not,it's obviously causing problems between the two of them.

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  • by Gingerminx on January 4th, 2009

    Gingerminx

    Although I sympathise it really isn't up to you but them. If you care about your mate and want contact with him still why haven't you just stopped calling him love? Do you really want to come between him and his partner? I have many male friends, and my best friend outside of my husband is a man who has a partner, I would respect any wish of his partner because I respect him.

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  • by angel1 on February 26th, 2009

    angel1

    You are causing problems so distance yourself and call him by his name instead of love... I see that its not in a romantic way BUT you need to see it from her point of view. How can she not think something is going on? all you need to throw in is a kiss in the text and she has every reason to believe that there shound be absolutely no cantact at all!! Just back off and call him by his name, once the drama settles then maybe a the friendship can work but honestly, out of respect for his wife... leave him alone before she takes it a step further and he loses the woman he loves because you refused to respect her wishes.

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  • by the big boo on February 24th, 2009

    the big boo

    Honestly, you shouldn't be texting some other woman's husband. He shouldn't be texting you. I would suggest you back off while they work out their marriage. When things are bad in a marriage, anything - like a friend or another person in the picture (innocent or otherwise) can put a damper on things. I say this as a married woman and one who has "been there."

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  • by Wise Latina on February 24th, 2009

    Wise Latina

    back off, I wouldn't let anyone call my husband love either unless she did the dishes first.

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  • by Anonymous on February 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Looks like you've overstepped the mark in his wife's eyes. Give them space and any contact should be strictly platonic without any overtones that can be interpreted as attraction.

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  • by Anonymous on February 26th, 2009

    Anonymous

    If this guy is really your friend and his wife is suspicious, I'd give it time. He will be your friend again when it's safer for him whether that means in a few months or once they split. You don't want the wife to freak out, leave him and him to blame you in any way. Just back off. Let it be his choice...

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  • by Curious on February 24th, 2009

    Curious

    If he is your 'close' friend, you should not want to cause him any trouble. She might be overreacting, but that is for him to work out with her.
    If after he does that, and 'HE' still wants to keep in touch, then the trouble is on him.

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  • by shady on February 24th, 2009

    shady

    Perhaps because you don't want to cause him problems

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  • by anddeb on February 24th, 2009

    anddeb

    To be respectable to the marriage. You are trouble between them and need to move on. You know you enjoy making the trouble and are looking for approval. Well, you are totally wrong. Move on. Do not get mad, you asked. Maybe you are a little jealous of the wife and if so it is way past time for you to move on.

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  • by A on October 27th, 2010

    A

    Uh, hello? What exactly did you expect her reaction to be when you called him "love"? You might want to change the terms you use...

    I'm sure I would be upset with my husband as well if I had one. I side with your friend's wife on this one.

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  • by Umm Yeah on February 26th, 2009

    Umm Yeah

    You both need to respect his wife and lay off of the texting and calling eachother cute names. Keep things on a neutral ground, maybe include her on plans, and go out to dinner. Let her see the way the two of you interact, and maybe she will understand your relationship with her husband. Ultimatly you dont want to be the reason your friend and his wife are having problems. Maybe his wife is insecure, but maybe your friend made her that way. Its always a fine line your walking on when your best friend of the opposite sex is married. Try to become a "family" friend and things may not be so uncomfortable.

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  • by celticmoonlight on February 26th, 2009

    celticmoonlight

    put yourself in her shoes. you should back off until their relationship is healed

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  • by Old School on February 24th, 2009

    Old School

    I have to disagree with the majority here.

    The wife is being a self-absorbed twit who needs to get over herself.

    That's probably not a tactful thing to say to her (or her husband), so here's what I propose.

    Get together with your friend and his wife. Acknowledge her concerns and reiterate to her that you have NO interest in her husband and, that you calling him 'luv' means nothing more than when a coffee shop waitress calls him 'luv'.

    Perhaps when she has to confront her jealously in real life she'll let it go.

    Good luck

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  • by Mrs.Harwell on February 24th, 2009

    Mrs.Harwell

    i had a friend that i had known for years and there was NOTHING there and he got a girlfriend and once they started dating she got really mad when i would talk to him, i think that is just his wife being a bit insecure with herself and not trusting her husband witch is most important in being married

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  • by Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls on February 24th, 2009

    Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls

    Simple. Stop calling him love and things should be just fine. To be quite honest with you, you aren't going to win this. If his wife says it's over, it's over. I'd suggest trying to work things out reasonably with her IF you want to maintain this friendship.

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  • by little sprout on February 24th, 2009

    little sprout

    I agree with every one here. And as a person who put herself in that situation out of repect for my bf I had to end a friendship with someone as he was texting ME all the time. I also had to end a friendship with one of my best friends about a year ago because HIS gf was not comfortable with the fact that we were friends knowing some of the stuff that we had done together, and we had lived together at one point. It is out of repect for your friend and his marriage. doesnt mean you can not be friends, just distant one's

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  • by Movon on February 3rd, 2011

    Movon

    take it from me who lost a good male friend. dont text him and don't call him love. It's better to keep the friendship than to loose it.

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  • by Eileen on February 26th, 2009

    Eileen

    There is the problem right there TEXTING. I can honestly say if it were my husband you were texting I would be slightly offended as well. I was understanding all the way up to the part where you do it texting, hell I use the word Love, Darlin, Honey, baby cakes all the time in person..........Texting is totally out of the question, to me it is being sneaky...I won't bother telling you want I do with his c-phone if I read that! LOL

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