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by pegleg on November 29th, 2004

pegleg

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Is anger the source of controlling behavior in people?

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  • by lincoln on February 2nd, 2006

    lincoln

    I have found that anger and depression go together hand in hand. It's often a feeling of uselessness and the built-up frustration that there is nothing you can do to solve a problem. It also can be the lack of ability to change a situation that in your eyes is wrong or inefficient . We are taught from a young age, that there's a solution to every problem. (Guess what, there isn't) It's also a form of expression or an out-let. I have worked very hard to not hold grudges against anyone. If I where not able to do this, I would become a very bitter, angry person who would slowly fall into a deep depression which could then lead to more serious problems or actions. This problem runs through our family. Anger can be treated through both counciling and medication. I find that I think about things too much. I have great trouble sleeping, which just makes things worse. I go over every possible outcome, which within itself produces anger, resentment and frustration. All these are human nature, but with no "off" button. Anger in children is a difficult thing to understand. We haven't made a booklet for kids to tell them "this is how someone behaves when they’re angry and how to stop it" For some people it is not a controlled behaviour, but a curse.

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  • by Patti jo on December 24th, 2006

    Patti jo

    When I read your question,the first thing that came to me,was, being a Bully,loud mouthed,smartass, gonna get their way kinda person! And they add a source of anger,to keep the control ! I think I am on the track here - Because,there is time's you have the right to be angry and that's normal,as long as there is no bullying-toward's another-- Pattijo

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  • by goldiemae on December 14th, 2005

    goldiemae

    I don't think so. I actually believe these people are insecure and seeking acceptance, although their methods are certainly flawed. I know of one individual who is so controlling, she has practically ruined her son's marriage by constantly competing with his wife and her parents for attention. For example, if the young couple chooses to visit the wife's parents, this person demands that her son and daughter-in-law give her equal time. And if it doesn't happen that way, she becomes petulant, argumentative, accusing and envious. The truth is, her son, though he loves his mother, does not feel welcome in her house since she is constantly criticizing him and his wife. In short, they avoid her because their visits generally end in an argument. If she would just cut them a little slack and stop the whining, they might be more inclined to visit. She has not yet let go or treated her son and his wife as adults. If she could stop defeating her own purpose by this behavior, she'd find the visits more frequent, let alone more enjoyable. I feel that anger is more the result of the controlling behavior rather than the source of it.

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  • by Heather Soderstrom on December 10th, 2004

    Heather Soderstrom

    Generally there is an underlaying cause for controlling behavior. Anger is an emotion not a cause. Causes of controlling behavior can range from fear to the way the person was raised. You should really consult a professional if the controlling behavior includes anger. Sometimes someone with a controlling behavior becomes angry because they can't controll something and can become abusive.

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  • by A on August 28th, 2011

    A

    Anger seems to be more of a result of feeling bitter and possibly even resentful about something. Maybe a loss or a betrayal of some kind. A person does not have to be "angry" to control another person. Maybe the person simply desires control because he or she likes being in charge of things for some reason or other.

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