ANSWERS: 46
  • if you think you are in danger tell somebody asap. you cant carry on the way things are. i know you are in a difficult situation but please get help. if you get help your dad might get help and things will get better. please dont put up with this its not fair on you and you dont have to let this carry on
  • Tell somebody before the abuse gets worse. Tell somebody so you will live to see 18. He might be the only family you have, but that is no reason to put up with physical abuse (or other abuse for that matter). I'm sorry you even have to ask this question. I'm sorry anyone should ever have to ask this question, especially about a parent.
  • I know you love your father, well i think you do anyway..but if he hurts you..he needs help, just tell and adult..and when he's better you can live together again..without the abuse
  • hun ive been through that before. my father was physically and sexually abuse (even though i hate saying it). dont feel bad about telling the authority. i didnt say anything for years and it just got worse. you may love him but he needs to get help, you dont deserve that. even if he is your only family, you can find a place where you are safe, at least until your father gets help. just remember that its not your fault. but he will probably get more violent. get yourself out of the situation before its too late hun! if you need more information or advice, or have anything else you need to say mail me in private... jlynn217@yahoo.com take care of yourself!
  • For you and your situation the safest person to tell this information to would be someone at school like the nurse, counselor or a teacher. These people are trained on how to deal with situations like this. Physical abuse of a child is against the law, so the proper authorities will be called. If it is determined that you are not safe staying with your father then you will be removed from that dangerous situation. Being taken away and placed with strangers in a strage place could be scarey, but so would staying with someone that physically abuses you. Which is more scarey? You are going through so much right now for being 12 - more than what a lot of adults experience. This situation has impacted you for the rest of your life. If you don't get help now this situation could possibly make your teen and adult years that much more of a challenge. This time in your life you are supposed to be protected and safe. You're not even in your teens yet and those can be some of the most challenging times in one's life. I know my answer is long. My heart goes out to you in your time of trauma and grief. Please get help. Help from the abuse and help for your grief of the loss of your friend. Many Blessings
  • I would try to talk to your school counserlor or school patrol officer. Or try to contact some of your other family like your grandma or grandpa or aunt.
  • I think you should tell a caring adult that you trust. Maybe someone at your church or school? Please tell someone as soon as possible, because I do not think things will get better without your dad getting help. You would be better off in an environment where people care about you and don't hit each other.
  • Your father needs anger management classes. There is no reason why he should lash out at you. If he is a single parent and is frustrated, he needs to get better coping skills. Confide in a teacher or guidance counselor so they can set up some kind of meeting.
  • It's very important to talk to an authority. They will be able to ensure that your father gets the kind of help he needs. The authorities understand that the best place for a child is almost always with their real parents rather than in a foster home or group home, and they will do their best to work with him on his anger problem. You don't have to live in fear all the time. I work as a volunteer with children who have been in these situations. I know it's hard, but you really do need to make the call. If you want to talk further, you can find my e-mail address in my profile, I'll be happy to explain the details of how the child welfare system works.
  • Contact the authorities, He could hurt you badly even if he did not mean to do so. The police know how to get him the help he needs and also to help you in the meantime. They also know that unless there is a situation where is is better for your father and you both for awhile, that it is better for you and him to be together. But your safety comes first! Please call and get help for your Dad and for yourself. You will be doing each of you a huge favor.
  • there is this song and it will give you the consequences, please listen hard to it i can tell you the lyrics right now. but after you need to get help so this doesnt happen to you! it is called Concrete angel by matina Mcbride she walks to school with the lunch she packed nobody knows what shes holding back wearing the same dress she wore yesterday hiding her bruises with the linen and the lace the teacher wonders but she doesnt act its hard to see the pain behind the mask bearing the burden of a secret storm, somedays she wishes she was never born through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone in a world where she cant rise above and her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place that shes loved CONCRETE ANGEL! someone cries to sleep at night the neighbors hear but they turn out the lights a fragile soal caught in the hands of fate when mornin comes itll be too late i dont know the rest of the lyrics but i can tell you what happens the little girl that night get beaten so hard that she gets killed, the abulance comes but they come to late then there is a funeral for her, please go get help another soal should not be lost to an abusive relationship, and be a role model for those are in the same stuatiuon as u! and remember this is not your fault, help yourself and your father!
  • Listen to everybody and know that if you tell somebody, thing WILL get better and your dad WILL get help, and you CAN continue to see and know and have a relationship with him. I went through this with my father and eventually I told somebody, I am now 23 and have a WONDERFUL relationship with my father and he hasn't hurt me in a VERY long time. If you want to know what I did or to talk about it kerrirae1714@yahoo.ca
  • O.k I understand you are in the seattle area, please I am right here get in touch with me I already gave you my email, I can help you get in touch with the right people who will help you, even if it is just a place to stay or someone to talk to, please get in touch with me. If you email me I will give you my phone # and we can talk, I promise I am not scary. I am a 26 years old woman who also lives in the seattle area. please dont hesitate to contact me.
  • There should be some sort of abuse hotline in the phone book or at the library. I am a man who had a fairly rough childhood also -I will not be giving you any contacts. As a result - I had a few friends who also had abusive parents. In one case it was her mother - and eventually her mother killed her. And yes that has torn me up my whole life. And as an adult I would report any signs of abuse towards children - and have. It always turns out better to report it - even though it is hard. So you really do need to get away from it. I think he should be more worried about losing you, then the other way around. And if he is not - that isn't a reflection on you, some people won't control it. I have known successful - perfectly normal - and happy women and men who have come from abusive homes. You will be able to get through it. By the way there is nothing a 12 year old can do that deserves hitting or kicking as a punishment. So it is "not" even when you didn't do anything wrong - it is "You havn't done anything wrong." Get yourself out of there and take care of yourself.
  • I've been there too. You have to think of your safety though. It might hurt to be taken from him even for a short time, but it'll hurt a lot more if one of these times he goes too far.... If you make the call, the authorities will try to help him and rehabilitate him to be a better (non-abusive) father. They prefer to see children with their birth-parents whenever possible so long as the child is not at risk. They will do everything they can to keep you together. I recommend taking Stableboy up on his offer. If you won't make the call, at least talk to him.
  • I am a lawyer who represents children who have been abused and neglected by their parents. I am also a volunteer CASA, like Les. You have to do what is right for you. It seems that at this point of random violence, that would mean removing yourself from the environment. The reason for that advice is that, people who engage in random acts of violence sometimes surprise themselves and go over the top. Meaning to say: next time could be worse and it could be final. Your life is precious. It is not worth gambling with in this fashion. I am going to veer a bit from Les' answer, because it seems that you have a hard focus on not disrupting your home life. I would say this: if there is a relative that you can trust, and who you know would protect you at all costs: turn to them for assistance. See if you can get to their home immediately and tell them what is going on. But this person needs to help you with legal planning. Figuring out if you can stay in their home, if they will help you get a restraining order (this is MANDATORY, your father may be furious that you are taking a stand and the authorities need to be notified,) that your relative has authority to sign for field trips and that sort of thing. This is a plan that doesn't include the child welfare agents necessarily, but gets you out of the home. The plan being that you get to remain in the family, and that relatives help you decide if the child welfare authorities need to be informed, if prosecutors need to be informed, etc. Also, even if the authorities need to be called, (because your father is reluctant to allow you to remain where you are, or to voluntarily engage in any services to correct his anger/ domestic violence problem,) there is less likelihood that you will have to stay in a foster home a few nights until they locate a relative for you to stay with: you are already there. It is another situation if you do not have relatives that can assist you, and who are strong enough to stand up to your dad and say: "she's staying here until you show us that you've taken some steps to solve your problems." If there is no one you can rely on in the adult world, you have to save your own life. I do not say this casually. You need to get out. Young people have enough problems then needing to worry about when they are next going to be a punching bag. These kind of dads don't get fixed by magic. It requires someone bigger than them (judges executing the power of the state) ordering them to do theraputic stuff that they would not do without some coersion. This is one of those house burning down situations. You are so very young, you have probably never had to consider this kind of thing before. But your symbolic house is burning down and you are trying to save your dad and yourself, and your family life at the risk of gambling your own. You can't gamble your own. You have to save your own. Get out of the house, and then call some help for your dad, BUT SECURE YOURSELF FIRST. You are so, so young. There is no way you should be forced into this corner, but circumstances have put you there. I would advise you not to stay in that house another night, because every night you stay, you roll the dice again. Get out of the house and call 911. Do not worry: this IS an emergency. They will not doubt that. If you don't feel strong enough to make the call on your own, and choose to hold out until Tuesday, speak to a school counselor about this after the holiday. They will help you decide what to do. _______________ Since I just found out from one of your other posts that you live near my home town, I will leave the e-mail address to my law office, if you need some assistance in taking any of the steps that any one here has suggested. zazzy_one@yahoo.com.
  • Dear Heart, you must reach ou for help, even if they take you away from your father. The chances of him getting help now and being reunited with you are greater if things do not go further down hill. Your future relationship will also have more of a chance if you are protected now from this abuse. Please get help!
  • TELL THE AUTHORITY!!!!!! do justice. if you wont tell them, then fight back. do what ever you can defend yourself with all you got,
  • I understand you love him and he is the only family you have, but you are a innocent child and you deserve a loving parental figure. You need to tell someone and yes sweetie they may take you away from him, but they wil put you in a loving home or if he can change his act up with something the court makes him do they will send you back to him. You need to tell someone regardless what could happen. Many different things could happen, but you don't deserve to be abused you deserve a good loving childhood. I wish you all the best and please get help. I'll be praying for you.
  • We are all behind you - you see that here by the advice you have received from these kind, caring souls. We are all wishing you the very best in this terrible situation. You MUST get out. Otherwise, there may not be a YOU to get out. We want you to make it and you are in our prayers and wishes. Let us know how this turns out. Please. We want to know.
  • I think you should get help. Not telling anybod cannot be a good thing. It might seem a difficult decission to make, but tell someone, even if that someone aint the authority. But you do need someone who can help you out.
  • Look, many on here have tried to help you in the past and recently. Get some professional help and PLEASE stop wasting our time!!!
  • you know just tell someone because going on like that will ruin your future if you tell your dad might get help and change
  • If you got pulled away from your dad that will be best for you as at least you will get treated better!!
  • I'm so glad you safe. Tell your friends family "Thank you" from all of us to care enough about you to take you in. I'm glad to see you'll be on the good news side of the statistics.
  • Things can only get worse from here. Even though he is the only family you have, he doesn't treat you like family. You would be much better off and cared for with someone else, even if they are not your family.
  • I don't have experience about this, but I understand the problem. I just want to suggest. You love your father very much right? Why don't you express your love to him. It may realise him of his obligation as a father. You must patience and smart in facing the situation. Thats all.
  • Kid WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO STAY WITH HIM? ! I don't care if he's your father. I wouldn't care if he was the last person on this whole goddamn EARTH. There's no reason to endure that kind of treatment. He has no right to abuse you and you need to realize that NO ONE is worth staying with if they'll do that to you. For any reason. If this was a romantic relationship, wouldn't you be OUT THE FREAKIN' DOOR the first time that person abused you? That should be the same for any other relationship. GET HELP. Tell anyone you can before it escalates to the point where he does some irrepairable damage. STAND THE HELL UP FOR YOURSELF. You might be 12, but you're not helpless.
  • first thing first try talking to a teacher or maybe a school councelor the last thing u need is for the abuse too get out of hand noone deserves to be abused and mistreated a father is suppose to love and protect his child i would advise u to talk to someone u trust even if u are taken from the household it may be breif but maybe the can get him help through some type of counceling
  • tell someone, anyone, just say something
  • HEY MAN I THIMK U SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE OR ATLEAST TRY TO PROTECT URSELF FROM UR DAD. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANYONE TO GET COAUGHT UP IN THE SYSTEM BUT NOBODY WANTS U TO GET HURT...
  • Even though he is the only family you have, he is harming you. And you need to think about what is best for yourself otherwise it will haunt you into adult hood. They may take you away from him for a short time, but in that time he will be getting help and then sure enough you might be able to go back to him and be happy. :)
  • Although you may not want to tell an authority because you love your dad and he's your only family, i think it's the best thing to do. What you father is doing is wrong and must stop! Try kids help line or another source for advice. Although I don't know what it's like to be in your situation, you should report it. Good luck. I hope everything turns out ok!
  • It might feel scary to have to tell somebody about what your Dad has been doing to you, but you could be much happier and more safe if you told a trusted adult or the police, if an adult is not there for you otherwise. I hope you get help!
  • you should tell someone like ur mom or a sibling. don't let that jerk get away with abusing and hurting you. or call the police. this is serious, and u don't want something very bad to happen to you. [like him trying to kill you]
  • phone a child line or tell a teacher you can not stay with him!
  • I think your father needs major help. Just remember that it is not your fault! Telling an authority figure is your only way out. There has to be a reason behing why he is doing this type of behavior. By telling someone it could help him overcome his frustrations and get him the help he needs to be a good father to you.
  • yes I agree. you need to tell someone.Thats not right for him to do that to you. You need to do something before it's to late and you can't.
  • I'm sorry to say so, but you need to report it and get away from that even if he IS your only family.
  • Please tell someone and get some help. Just because he is the only family you have does not give him the right to abuse you nor should you have to put up with it. There are organizations out there that can help the both of you with what is going on. There is always someone out there that can help.
  • I think you should tell someone you dont deserve to be treated this way. I know he may be the only person you have but he is not the best for you. Try telling him how you feel and ask him if he thinks what he is doing is right. Maybe he would consider getting help. You could try going to docter Phil or Oprah someone with connections and money to make sure that you got the help you needed.
  • I hope you have told us the truth, that your friend have adopted you. And I hope the fear of loosing your father did not make you change your mind causing you to lie to us about being adopted. We are very concerned about your safety and well being. You are very brave to come forward with this serious problem. I wish you well and hope everything turns out great for you. xx
  • I was a volunteer at a Domestic Violence Shelter for women and children in VA. I conducted the group therapy sessions. My education did not prepare me for the impact. I can tell you this abuse has a cycle. Each time the cycle is complete the frequency and serverity of the abuse is intensified. Without proper intervention, such as counseling for your father this dysfunction will only continue. My concern is with your safety. I want you to know this is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Bless Your Heart! Please seek Help. Please call 1(888)999-9999 it's the 9-LINE. It's a National Number for kids in your situation. They have resourses to help you. Please post another question if you can safely do so to let us know your safe. I am praying for you.
  • you'd be better off getting taken away if hes going to be abusive, i would call cps
  • tell someone anyways, you need to be taken away from him if hes going to do that
  • i would say something anyways, he needs to be stopped

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