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by AhMeD_2_3 on November 22nd, 2004

AhMeD_2_3

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If someone is swearing on the bus, how can I politely tell them to stop?

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by CApoet on December 1st, 2004

    CApoet

    While I can relate to your desire to protect the young and the old, one of my concerns on this topic is one of safety; it may be unwise to confront someone who has already shown that they have little regard for other's comfort and well being.

    Someone who is otherwise well behaved might be willing to tone it down, but since that's hard to gauge, I'd be cautious. Mind you, I'm 53 and not eager to get into arguments with strangers on buses.

    The other concern is rule of thumb is around etiquette itself. I've read, in Miss Manners column, that it's rude to point out other people's rudeness. However, if you feel the need to ask someone to tone it down, if you yourself are very polite in your request, and don't show anger or annoyance, it might work. You could possibly say something like:

    "It would be very much appreciated if you would refrain from swearing in front of my children (or grandmother, etc.)." Or "Would you be so kind as to lower your voice?"

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  • by Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog on September 9th, 2005

    Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog

    I disagree with Alonzo's answer that they may not know it is wrong. No-one is that unaware of the general mores of the society they live in.

    In many cities, swearing and other coarse language contravenes the transit company's anti-harassment policy. A prudent course would be to approach the driver of the bus, whose responsibility it is to enforce this. If the passenger will not tone it down at the request of the driver, the driver can then call for the security officers. While waiting for this , the bus will not go anywhere and every other passenger on the bus will be aware of whose fault this is. The shame or embarassment might make the offender either tone it down or leave the bus voluntarily.

    Just a suggestion and I know the policy only of the city where I live but I suspect that many other cities and towns have similar bylaws.

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  • by Alonzo Garbonzo on February 17th, 2005

    Alonzo Garbonzo

    Someone who loudly unleashes a string of curses in public probably has no idea there's something wrong with it. People are not being raised with such refinement. They probably think it's cool.

    No matter how politely you express your objection, they are likely to take offense and direct more curses your way. This is no longer a polite society; it hasn't been for decades. Especially on buses. If you're lucky cursing is all they'll do. They could pull a knife on you.

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  • by Anonymous on November 8th, 2005

    Anonymous

    "I don't mean to intrude, but would you mind toning down the language a little- there are children present." If there are children present, this argument works really well. Having been in a situation where I'd had a bad day and was talking to a friend without even realising I was swearing so much, that shut me right up! Obviously it doesn't work if there aren't any children present!

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  • by imagenius on November 25th, 2005

    imagenius

    I tend to try to make any situation that makes me uncomfortable humerous. I tell my kids, loudly, "If i ever hear you talking that way in public, I will pull your leg off and beat you with it." This is even funnier when they are pre-verbal. . .
    I also respond occasionally, "Don't be shy man, tell us how you really feel!" or start into a Yosemite Sam "Frickin frackin" kinda cussing tirade. Maybe the person will realize how they are acting and stop. Of course, i've also been told to go #@$& myself. . .

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  • by Alatea on October 22nd, 2005

    Alatea

    That depends on the situation. It’s a judgement call but it has some risk.

    You have no idea of the person's frame of mind or why they feel a need to swear and be offensive. Never put yourself in the position of confrontation with a stranger on a bus or anywhere else.

    Many people today react in a negative way. Don’t put yourself on the receiving end of their reactions. It’s just not worth it.

    It should be a policy of the bus lines to have the right to remove the offender and if not then let it be.

    Sad for children to be exposed to this but better they still have a parent at the end of the day.

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  • by Superquack on May 27th, 2008

    Superquack

    It automatically tells me that this person is likely unstable anyway. If this is routine, then he is certainly unstable. Inform the tellers at the bus station. Enough complaints, they will certainly do something about it. This person is likely to cause an ill confrontation with someone else in the near future. Confronting him yourself, you'd best have some law enforcement and defensive/offensive training first. Regardless, he is much more likely to be submissive to the authorities than he is to you. This is from an ex-cop.

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  • by anonymous on May 22nd, 2008

    anonymous

    please watch your language

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  • by aydeology on May 22nd, 2008

    aydeology

    you'll be off the bus soon! if not you first, then them. and usually the people who swear on the bus are crazy, so best not get involved.

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  • by MyKinKStar on April 13th, 2006

    MyKinKStar

    It's not worth risking life over a few bad words! I say ignore it best you can. It's a bus ride, not a plane flight! Avoid any confrontation by moving to another seat, or if it's so bad you can't stand it, get off the bus and catch another one. Politely asking a person who is without enough respect to recognize his inappropriate behavior in public, possibly high or suffering mentally, will make for no change to the better. The situation after delivery of nice comments could be taken as a personal affront to their right to be themselves. It could become a very bad situation real fast. Don't risk it!

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  • by Anonymous on February 23rd, 2006

    Anonymous

    Being polite may be a nice gesture, but remember, drug addicts, criminals and the like, ride on public transportation. you could endanger yourself and others surrounding you, if this situation is not handled properly. first of all, as a citizen, i would not make direct contact with this person, he could be armed. second, the bus driver is directly responsible for the riders and all activities on a public bus. alert the bus driver of the situation. most public buses now have direct commuications, with their dispatcher. the police will be called and the problem handled. dont't take a chance.....call the police, this is what they do.

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  • by Carrybo on October 11th, 2005

    Carrybo

    Don't get involved mate. like Alonzo says, it could get pretty nasty. Steer well clear.. . . .

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  • by Hellifino on September 20th, 2009

    Hellifino

    I'm not so sure that it is a good idea to try to tell anyone anything. You might not like it, but you are sharing the same space for the moment. You are going to be subjected to the way they talk, smell, look and think. Just as they probably aren't going to care for your style of dress, perfume, cologne or staring. You just have to find a way to be tolerable of the differences of all the different people that you are going to have to be around. The reason that I don't think it's a good idea is primarily safety. People are so angry and aggressive today. And it seems that asking someone to change an offensive behavior usually encourage them to do it more just to get a rise out of you. Sometimes the better decision is just to leave it alone and walk away.

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  • by ryanjohnson505 on March 14th, 2012

    ryanjohnson505

    I swear a lot more than my parents think I do - So go ahead tell me to stop and I'll say too f***ing bad for you

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