How do I go about living on my own? 46, widowed as of last Thurs, never been on my own, unable to work due to disabilities. How?
by 
starrrgazer
ANSWERS: 15
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I am really sorry to hear about your loss. We all have to learn to live and fend for ourselves. I am sure you have talents which will help you through these troubled times. I hope you will get the strength to be able to face this world and get the disabilities out of the way and become a shining example for others to follow. Take care and hope that you find your way out soon.
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I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard, very hard. Some cope better than others but you have to be strong and brave. Think what he would want you to do, how he would want you to live and live your life. You are probably still a bit numb and in shock. Surround yourself with loved ones who can support you. Unfortunately he is no longer there at night to hold you as you cry yourself to sleep but he is with you, you only have to look into your heart to hear his voice and hear what he is saying to you. In a short time, you may want to seek counselling. You have been widowed at such a young age and it feels especially cruel to have someone taken from you before their time. You can't rationalise it, yet alone believe it. The only comfort I can really offer you is that it does get better with time, but there are many moments where you are struck with grief and despair. This is very normal and part of the process you have to go through. My thoughts are with you x
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When i was younger i "leached" off my father. Not knowing i was doing damage to myself....when he died .the whole world caved in on me. One step at a time. pay your bills, make sure papers are in order. then one step again. distract yourself with hobbies...even ones that your husband did with you. Or find one of your own. Getting "INTO" something is the easiest way. Friends, and admires will come....when your ready. Don't be afraid too shoo off peple who are hanging around for guilt reasons.....You need the me time. You've tasted the worst life has to offer and your still standing. So right there youre a winner. God bless, and i know what you feel, i'm so sorry but it will pass...not entirely but it will.
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I am so sorry for your loss. There is never a good time or good way to deal the loss you have experienced. Due to your disabilities and the fact that you have never been on your own, my first suggestion would be to look at some alternative living arrangements. Assisted care facilities immediately come to mind. I'm not talking about old folks homes here! I'm talking about a community of people in similar situations to yours. You obviously have internet access. Research what is available in your area and take things slowly. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.
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I am so sorry that you have lost your husband, I am sure that you will find your way, I can advise you only to lean on those nearest to you at this time, open yourself to help and support, you will be in my prayers
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Are you in financial distress or is that not a worry? If you are o.k. financially..how did you spend your days before you were widowed? What interests do you have? What hobbies do you have that excite you? There are people in the world who have survived great tragedies and managed to carve good lives for themselves and their children. Do you have young children? What about relatives, friends? What is you passion in life? What did you always dream of doing if you only had the time? I think if you simply take inventory of yourself, your likes and your abilities, you might surprise youself and find that you really have a lot going for you. Good luck! :)
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If you are disabled, you may be able to get some social security. If not, consider taking in boarders or creating a small business that you can do at home, like sewing and alterations. I've known several Amish or Mennonite folks who have created a comfortable living despite disabilities. One man who was paralyzed from the waist down by polio had the harness and shoe shop for his community. He could run a sewing machine sitting down. Another I know is blind and makes brooms for a living. You might also consider forming a household with several other people with disabilities. None of you might be able to make it on your own, but if you pool resources you might be able to make it.
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maybe your apprehensive about your circumstances because your not very confident ,time will change matters im sure and i wish you well
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My condolences. All I can say is when a door closes at least a window opens. Have faith.
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I was 47 when my husband died. I thought my life was over, but it wasn't. I did some good things and some bad things. Work helped me a lot, but you say you can't work. Was there insurance? One thing I did rather badly was to reach out and ask for help. I was almost completely alone except when I was at work. I believe you need to get away from your grief. I watched a LOT of movies. Are you isolated b/c of your disabilities or do you have many friends? I would love to help you, Starrrgazer. If you want to talk by email, it's didedoodah@aol.com. Take care.
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I am sorry that your husband passed away. It must be very sad to lose a life partner at such a young age... you are only 3 years older than myself. Hopefully, you have some children to help you out. Did you husband have life insurance? I keep plenty on my husband because I don't want to end up on the streets if he passes away. Look into whatever benefits may be available to you through Social Services. http://www.watchtower.org/e/we/article_02.htm
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i am very sorry. i am not very old, i can not really tell you what to do. but i will wish you the best and pray that things get better. keep fighting.
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I am so sorry for your loss, Starrr. I lost my husband in 1987 and still remember the panicky feeling that I had. My whole life was gone. Gradually if you work hard, you will have another life. Not the same one, but one that can be satisfying - even better in some ways. I wouldn't have been able to hear that when the loss was as fresh as yours is. Just hold the thought for later.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your happy memories of your loved one sometimes eases your pain. Not knowing much of your situation, I would advise you to call your local human services department to see what services they can offer you. Check your local paper for a support group for widows. Go to the major websites like Yahoo, AOL, and search their Groups area for some company who understands what you are going through online too.
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I am so sorry for your loss. You could get a roommate and also check with social services to see how they can help you. Good Luck.
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