When I'm drunk I make out with guys other than my boyfriend. It's gettin into a habit, should I tell him? I don't want to hurt him. We havn't been together long and our relationship seems to be very casual.
by 
applepie17
ANSWERS: 29
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You should really consider breaking it off with him before he does get hurt. If its just a casual relationship it wont hurt him as much as it would if it started to grow into something more and then you told him.
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Your behavior is risky to say the least. Maybe you should find out why you get drunk and then take steps to control your actions. You could end up pregnant, with a sexually transmitted disease, forced into activities against your will. Don't make your boyfriend have to come down to the morgue to identify your body, this will break his heart. A counselor, therapist or support group to deal with the reasons for your alcohol abuse would be helpful as a start. http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/9/22a/article_01.htm
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I guess the $64,000 question is what you see as being the major problem here -- the relationship with your boyfriend or the drinking that leads to the problematic behavior. Let me put it to you a different way. If your relationship with your current boyfriend ended and you started up with someone else, would the drinking leave you in the same position you're in now? That is, would you end up making out with other guys when you're drunk? That's a massively-important question from where I'm sitting. You may be setting yourself up to duplicate your current problem if you don't answer that question honestly for yourself. Good luck.
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What are you hoping to accomplish by telling him? If you don't want to hurt him, then maybe you ought to stop seeing him. You may be feeling that the relationship is "casual" because you're treating it very casually yourself. Do you want a serious relationship with this person? If not, then it's best for everyone involved if you just call it quits now. I wouldn't advise telling him about your drunken escapades either. If you feel guilty now about doing it behind his back, it's not going to make either of you feel any better once it's out in the open.
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it will hurt more if he finds out on his own if you tell him and you still want to save the relationship allowing him to trust you will be easier but in order to be sorry you have to mean it otherwise it will mean nothing
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Why in the world do you get drunk, if you know your going to be making out with so many people. Aren't you putting yourself in harms way? If your going to continue doing what your doing, I think you should just break it off with your boyfriend. Let him know that your not ready for a serious relationship. Don't tell him about all the times you made out with other men, that would be to much for him to bear.
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Might I suggest not getting drunk? That would help your problem quite a bit.
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yes you should tell him. I think that if you are in a relationship you should be with that one person. It will hurt him more if he finds out another way and he will not be able to trust you again. maybe you need to think about not drinking so much,there are many support groups that can help you. But i would do it really soon.
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cheating is selfish. you know what happens when you get drunk, why put yourelf in that situation if you have feeling for your boyfriend. a committment is a committment. if you want to make out with just anyone don't be committed. you have done it, if it comes out now or later he will be hurt. decide if you are committed. talk to him!
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i say, Don't do it anymore...but don't tell him until you are ready....I mean he's going to be hurt when you tell him.....i mean what would you do if he did this to you? how do you think that would make you feel?
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sounds like you arent really ready for a relationship. when i used to drink all the time i got the same way you do. but whenever i was taken, i didnt mess with anyone but him, even when it was tempting. and if you are drinking often and doing these kinds of things, you may want to cut back on the drinking a bit. might be a little hard, but its worth it. especially since you are hurting someone you claim to love. id say yea you need to tell him. he needs to know. he may want you to stop drinking if thats the only time you do it... or he may leave you. whatever the case may be... he kinda has a right to feel that way.
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number one, drinking will never lead to anything good so leave the liqour you can still party and have fun with out it, and YOU WILL EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID THE NIGHT BEFORE!! now,how about that. number two tell the guy because i know if he does it to you, you would want to know. it might be scary to tell him but if you do tell him and he does love you, you'll both find a way to make it work.
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Sounds to me like you shouldn't be in a relationship at this time in your life. I don;t get all the Tolerance League bullshit floating around here about "nothing good ever comes from drinking" or assuming that you're some kind of alcoholic; you sound like a normal young girl to me. I wouldn't tell him, whether you stay with him or not; it will just hurt him, and he'll never trust you to be out without him - ever. Not that you necessarily deserve that trust, but you're just as entitled to it as anyone else. If it's any consolation, I'm sure your boyfriend would do the same thing.
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Sounds like you are not ready for a relationship, the one you are in anyway. I would break it off with him before it got any more involved. Also sounds like maybe you should cut back on the alcohol a little before you get into a situation that you may regret later.
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Shoot me an email, you sound like my type.
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Sounds like you need to get your partying out of your system. Sew some oats..........you're not ready to be in a relationship.
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First off, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Second off, tell him, he should know when his girlfriend is cheating on him regularly. Lastly, no offense, but grow up.
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Sounds like you need to be free to do as you please for the moment and that you are definitely not ready for a relationship. I would break up with him, if its pretty new and casual then theres no reason to hurt his feelings with unnecessary details of how you cheated, you'll be free and he can leave with his ego intact.
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You need to tell him that you have an alcohol problem...that is the common denominator here.....You seem to have a number of very casual relationships...and very poor judgement due to the alcohol. Save yourself. Call AA.
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Having sex/making out under the influence of drinking is dangerious and aren't you worry about getting HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease?.. Those of you who think "it won't happen to me" are stupid! Trust me you will regret it! This has happened to one of my old classmate, sadly she passed away several years ago from AIDS. The boyfriend has the right to know!
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then let him know its casual. you aren't ready to commit, you shouldn't have to. BUT you must be honest with him. Its not fair if he thinks your relationship is one way and you think its another.
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Yeah tell him and stop drinking since you seem to have no control of yourself when you drink :)
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If it's very casual then he's probably doing the same thing. Decide on what you want to do. Be with him or be single. You can't have it both ways. Well.. you can and then this happens Up to you
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I'd stop doing that if I were you. Few guys are cool with that.
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I think he needs to know so he can make the decision to leave you or stick it out!
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OK.. I'm silly. I've just noticed this question was asked jan 1st 2007. I wonder how it all turned out Fool
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Let me get this straight. You have a couple of pops and you're playin' tonsil hockey with everyone in the room that has a dick. And you don't want to tell your sensitive (assuming faithful) boyfriend about it. I hate to be the one who reveals this to you, but let's put this in a saucer and see if the kitty licks it up: You're slowly turning into a slut. Do you know the girl who guys are saying "she'll be in my bed tonight" is? It's becoming you. Moderate your drinking before you end up with a strangers baby in your belly. Tell your boyfriend to run far away. And hey...If it's casual? Then who cares? Be safe.
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I think your drinking is a bigger problem than you making out with random guys. It being a habit is not good. Sooner or later your bf will find out anyway, and he will probably break it off. You two need to be clear about HOW casual your relationship is too. For your own sake, tell your boyfriend and explain you have an alcohol problem, and get help for it.
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I don't think it's fair to him that you are with him if that's how you really act.
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