Ask a Question
or
Create a Poll
  1. Home /
  2. Questions /
  3. Relationship Advice
  4. / Relationships With Friends
  5. / Ending Friendships

by gosthntr on November 5th, 2008

gosthntr

Question

Help answer this question below.

So my best friend of 30 years and I work for the same company and she was making a bad mistake at work. When it became obvious what was going on she blamed me and passed around that i had made up these lies and began making work difficult for me. Advice?

  • Like
  • Report
Share:
Other

Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Occams Electric Razor on November 5th, 2008

    Occams Electric Razor

    One reason I don't make friends with people I work with or hire people I am already friends with. Regardless of how your friend came to work at the same place as you, if this happened to me I would most definitely call them out on it. It's bad enough when some jerk you work with passes the blame falsely, it's another thing when the jerk is suposed to be your friend. I think I would ask that they fess up to it or the friendship would probably be over.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Elaine on November 14th, 2008

    Elaine

    That is horrible! And after 30 years!! Have you tried to talk to her? And if you have different superiors, what kind of things has she been doing to make work difficult? You would think that someone would notice! How did you both end up working at the same place? Must be big industry or something.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by LynnZ on November 8th, 2008

    LynnZ

    Have you discussed this matter with your supervisor? If so, what was their response?

    2 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by artlvr007 on January 28th, 2011

    artlvr007

    I had something similar happen to me but from the other perspective. I had a supervisor that was going through a rough time and started spending alot of time talking to me just to get things off of their chest. Kind of like therapy. Well little did I know that a power struggle was going on with some other people in my office and they used this as an opportunity to gain ground by saying that I was having an affair with my supervisor.
    Backing up a bit, i helped my best friend of more than 25 years get a job (actually lobbyed for 6 months to get her the job) at my company. As soon as she started working there, she started sharing private personal things about me with our co-workers. I asked her to not do that b/c i tried to keep my private life private.
    Fast forward....when my co-worker started the rumor, my best friend did not defend me at all ....rather she gave into the rumors and started adding her own spin to the story (including that not only was I having an affair with my supervisor, but that was a lesbian). The only thing I can figure was that she was getting alot of attention from people coming to her and asking what was going on. What she didn't know that when my supervisor found out, there was an internal investigation done and everyone that she ever spoke to about me confessed to exactly what she was saying. Her supervisor came to me and actually said it was all my fault b/c i had begged him to hire her. I could NOT believe that he said that. He asked me if he should fire her. My response was NO. I still had compassion for her and her family even though she was trying to ruin me and my family (which I am a single parent of two kids). He did not fire her but he did end up transferring her to another department. During this time, she went to all of our mutual friends and told them CRAZY things about what was going on. Very untrue and damning things about me. I had several people come to me and tell me what she was saying. They were shocked that she would be saying things like this since we had been so close. During this whole time that spanned over the course of 2 years, I never filed a grievance with Personnel (as I probably should have). She eventually got fired by her new supervisor, and guess what....she blamed me. I didn't even know she had been fired until 3 days later. I had NOTHING to do with any of it, as I kept my mouth shut the whole entrie time. Even though I knew people were believing the lies she was telling about me. I always just kept my head down and did my job and tried to take care of my kids to the best of my ability. Has all of this taken a tole on me, yes. Do I miss what we used to have, yes. I wonder on a daily basis if she realizes what she did to me and feels any remorse. Not only did she hurt me, but she hurt my family. She has told so many mutual acqaintences, that I am sure the whole town has heard her lies and believes that they are true. I could so write a book. I miss her still, but I have strong feelings of hate towards her, too. She still tries to act like she was the victim in all of this. I have been very disturbed an depressed for the last 3.5 years. Not sure what to do.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading So my best friend of 30 years and I work for the same company and she was making a bad mistake at work. When it became obvious what was going on she blamed me and passed around that i had made up these lies and began making work difficult for me. Advice?

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

Related Questions

Professionally Researched

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

Best friend work in the same company
Should i hire my best friend at my company
Is ok to work in the same company as your best friend
Supervisor hire best friend
How to handle your best friend who changes after 30years of friendship

Answerbag

a Demand Media company