ANSWERS: 5
  • I'll risk answering this question, though I'm not Catholic. If you took any kind of adult instruction and were received into membership, you should be able to receive Communion. When in doubt, ask the priest.
  • Yes, I took classes for 18 months and was baptized, received 1st Communion and Confirmed as an adult. All done after I was married.
  • You still should have your marriage blessed by the church. If you were baptized after you were married then the priest should have blessed the marriage before baptism. Similarly, if you were already baptized, you should have had your marriage blessed before you were Confirmed and received 1st Communion. It seems strange to me that a priest would allow you your 1st communion if you had not blessed your marriage. In any case, you should definitely try to make this right as soon as possible if it is the reason you are not taking Communion.
  • I'm not a Catholic but I've gone and received communion. They didnt make me do an interview or anything first (my parents are catholic, I did receive my first communion, but didnt get confirmed)and i was still told it as fine to stand in line and eat Christ.
  • You can buy the blank wafers at a religious supply house. For a little extra you can have the name of your church's website embossed on them. If you're cheap you can bake them yourself-just flour & water, no yeast. (It gives the Savior gas.) The wafers look (and taste) like bleached white poker chips. Now it's time to perform the transubstantiation (not to be confused with the train sub-station): ● Place wafers on a cloth-covered altar (a work bench or BBQ grill is perfect); ● Light a couple of candles and some incense, to put you and Jesus "in the mood"; ● Wave your hands over the wafers while chanting the magical phrases in Latin:     Dominus Vobiscuit     Hey nonny, nonny no     Nora's freezin on the trolley     Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe.     Leapin Lizards, Glorioski     If he hollers, let him go.     Hocus-pocus, tapiocus,     Fee, Fi, Fum, Fo. If you say it just right you should see the Sacred Heart of Elvis appear before you. If you're down in Dixieland you may see Jesus, Elvis, and Robert E. Lee all together. Any of these holy guys will signify that you've been saved. If you see anything else, such as Fat Elvis or anything like the last three images, below, you're in deep shit. You prolly didn't hold your mouth just right, and it's your fault that Jesus, Mary, and Elvis died and took the money with them. Think about that while you end your life on the slow train to Gosh-Amighty. You've been saved, but not at the bank where Jesus saves. The Evil One has invested your savings in worthless stock options, and you'll be meeting him soon.

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