ANSWERS: 74
  • I don't think watching porn is so bad. Try watching it with him. It'll spice your sex life up.
  • Half and half, in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with porn... but I have a MAJOR problem with lying about it. Dishonesty = bad. Now, I don't know if he's lying because he's embarrassed or ashamed of the porn, or if he's afraid you'll be ashamed of his watching porn... You should talk to him (not in a judgemental manner) and find out the reason for the dishonesty.
  • Well the caps... kinda... tells me your reacting. You have every right to be mad, but try to calm yourself. It's hard, I know, I've tried to calm myself a lot of times before. Back to the point, just because someone tells you that they love you, it doesn't mean that they do. They need to show their love both physically and verbally. Theres two possibilities in my opinion. 1. The guy didn't mean it when he said, "I love you". 2. He just needs councelling. A whole lot of councelling.
  • Watching porn has absolutely nothing to do with love, or loving you, any more than a handjob in the shower. It is mere stimulation and physical pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that. Think of yourself in a nice warm, fragrant bath, followed by a wonderful, soothing massage. Do you love him less because of the good feelings? Of course not.
  • It's not the porn, it's your own insecurties, and I'd deal with them before you lose him.
  • Overreacting just a bit. It's only porn. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
  • i agree watching it with him if you feel ok with that. i'm not even to that level yet but i watch it alone not only for my own pleasure but as a learing tool to keep things spicy...you have to remember men a breed to spread their seed better on towel then on someone else right???lol
  • Well firstly not all men lie about it. And secondly, watching porn and their love for their partners are two completely different things. His love for you is not based on how much or how little porn he watches. I would say , yes, you are overreacting and that in it self maybe the reason he lies to you about watching porn.
  • You might be overreacting a little, but I certainly understand where you are coming from. My ex-husband used to hide it from me (literally), and I hated stumbling across it because I felt like that after 10 years of marriage if he's still hiding that - what else is he hiding??? (For example - he wouldn't erase the temp files in the internet folder - maybe he wanted to be caught). We fought about him hiding this crap before we married, and you'd think after 10 years he'd want to spice things up. But I guess maybe it wasn't meant for me. I always asked that if it turned him to share it with me so I'd know, and he never did.
  • Tell him you want to watch it with him!
  • my boyfriend watches porn now and again. men will be men its not wrong!
  • you're over reacting. he lies because you get mad. its nothing to get mad over.
  • ok maybe this will make sense and I'm sure many will disagree with me but here's my take. Men are visually aroused creatures. Women are emotionally aroused creatures. Why do women like to read romance novels and watch romance/drama movies and the lifetime channel? Because a majority of it is emotionally arousing and erotic to women. the same emotion women get when "Bradley takes Priscilla in his hulking arms and her bosom is heaving and moist with perspiration" is stimulating to women and gives them the same emotional satisfaction a man gets from watching nude women or porn. Men not so much emotionally aroused, we are wired to be visually stimulated, we need nudity, we need to see it. Sexuality is a mental and physical act but men tend to focus on the physical because sex is a physical "external" thing for us and sex is an emotional "internal" thing for women. So who's to say that men watching porn (though there are varying degrees, some maybe a little too graphic) is any different than a woman reading a sexy novel, watching a sexy sitcom, soap opera or film? In the end it results in the same emotional satisfaction, it's just attained in a different way. it's our wiring. Men are wired to select a variety of mates who fit a certain genetic profile that is appealing to him and mate mate mate, though society deems this as bad and we have evolved emotionally since men hit women over the head with a club and dragged them to their caves, we are still at our cores wired that way. Porn allows a man the emotional satisfaction of selecting various potential mates (by seeing nude women) and vicariously playing out the role of alpha male (by seeing them have sex) essentially placing himself in the male role in his head. Women on the other hand were usually only bred by an alpha male and had a few kids and raised them. She is wired to be more selective with a mate, to have only one mate and then to raise children. again as society has evolved we have grown out of these roles but our wiring at it's most primal core is still the same. Why be mad? My advice, be glad he plays out his fantasies this way instead fo cheating and maybe spicing things up, roleplaying or watching some (tame) porn with him might curb his urges a little. Most times when men lie about watching porn it's because of how women over react and act like it's as bad as cheating..it's not. My s/o and I watch it together, we enjoy it and get a lot of satisfaction from it.
  • porn is quick and to the point you, however, are a woman there is foreplay sex then cuddling plus the possibility of the i have a headache routine sometimes girl we just need to rub one out no hassle no stress dosent matter what you say or do hes gonna spank it whether its porn or thinking about someone or something thats what we do love him or leave him but if your looking for that guy that doesent play solo every now and then then your gonna have to switch to chicks
  • i would have to say yes on the over reacting. there is nothing wrong with porn. everyone should watch it. you should try watching it with him too.
  • He tells you he loves you, because he does. He lies about watching porn because he rather you didn't know. If you knew what he was up to then the element, the excitement, of doing something secret, illicit would be gone. Sharing is good but, alone with fantasies without guilt, without worrying about anothers emotions, all that freedom is better. Masturbating, even mentally, is a private thing but even in todays age, full of stigma. Which I guess is what keeps it exciting. When you masturbate what is your stimulus? is it any more wrong than porn? (Answer not required)
  • Because you overreact when we tell you we watch porn. We do love you, and yes, you are overreacting.
  • I have one thing to say CAP LOCK off please. Thanks
  • Would you rather him cheat on you and make his own porn? Theres nothing wrong with him watching porn. He probably doesnt want to tell you because you over react. You can't expect a man to tell you things if you constantly fight with him. Have an open mind. I assume He's not cheating and he loves you. Why worry?
  • You are over reacting, married or not all men watch porn, don't try to understand, it is a man thing!
  • Your man may do that, but many men don't. They are quite honest about watching porn with their partner. It's just watching. There's no physical interaction unless he has a wank, and even then it's not as if he's having sex outside the relationhip.
  • Yeah, men lie about watching porn. Everybody lies about how much TV they watch. Women lie about sex acts they would never try. They lie about being faithful, too. Politicians lie about being christian. Lots of people lie about lots of things. The world keeps turning.
  • I dont mean to sound harsh but I totally agree with New York City Angel...i mean what's so bad about a man watching porno..maybe that should be a reason why you should act freakier maybe he has needs you arent fullfilling...if you guys been together for a long time u need to change up the same boring routine try new things...but every guy watches porno no matter how discrete he is im pretty sure when they are alone they spank their monkey like you've never seen a monkey being spanked before
  • Well I would say that if you are suggesting watching porn is not OK than theres why he lied. People are interested in exploring tons of different things if you try to be open to what your s/o wants to explore than you may find alot less lieing goes on. You would also be able to tell if the person is a person who holds the same morals and beliefs as you. It can be a deal breaker to some relationships. If one individual is open and curious and the other is completely a prude there will be more problems down the road.
  • i don't see what watching porn has to do with him loving you but there is also no reason to lie about it..now if he was making a porn that would be a different story
  • Hold on... too many questions here... First of all, you are not over reacting but because he watch porn that doesn't mean he don't love you. I'm not saying that watching that kind of stuff is right but some people will find pleasure or insentive watching porn but defenetely one thing has nothing to do with the other.
  • im only 19 and ive been told as i get older my mind will change but i dont see the big deal with porn granted my ex didnt watch it everyday but ive even watched some with him...i go ewww at the parts i think are gross we laugh together sometimes its even kinda sexy i never understand why some women are threatened by that kinda thing...to me its only a big deal and worht lying about if you make it one....most women are obessed with shoes to some degree nad guys like porn..meh. pick your poison...
  • Personally, I'm pretty straight up about my porn habits. I watch porn from time to time. It doesn't mean I don't love my girlfriend. She knows I watch it. We don't watch it together, because that would feel a little wierd to me, to have her judging my reactions. I have watched porn with other girlfriends, and we enjoyed it. I wouldn't push it on a girl myself, but I would expect her to be tolerant of it. I think that most girls who are really uptight about porn, or masturbation, have got some sex issues that they need to work out for themselves. On another note: It's not where you get your appetite, it's where you go to fill your stomach.
  • Just about everyone said it : Your over reacting, We are guys and we are always on the look out for something nude it's part of our nature we are hard wired that way so don't take it personal has nothing to do with love .. it's just sex ... we don't confuse the two and neither should you one is entertainment the other is a loved one which are you and which would you rather be ?? .. ~Nemo~
  • I think the reason he's lying about watching porn is because he knows it hurts you, which may indicate he loves you. I think porn is bad for all women(I can't speak for the men)The girls who make porn are reducing themselves to little more than novelty objects. They get no real respect, and loose pieces of themselves in every act, wether they realize it or not. And as a wife I feel undervalued when my hubby turns to porn to satisfy an itch I am more than willing to satisy for him!
  • A man loving you and lying about watching porn are two very different subjects. If him watching porno is not to your liking then you either have to accept it or find love somewhere else.
  • Of course you are overreacting. This is just your upbringing coming out. Maybe he wouldnt lie about it if you made it easier to talk to you about things?
  • I'm a male & I don't know why he would lie to you unless he thinks you will think less of him. I personally like to watch porn with my wife though sometimes she don't want to. Do you ever watch porn with (Or without him). It can be educational. I don't think he should lie to you about it. Especially if you are married to him. If his & your love is true you should be able to talk about it with him. It may be hard to do but I found it to be easier over time as your relationship gets stronger. Just try to keep an open mind.
  • Women don’t simply want their husbands to direct their lusts exclusively towards them, as if this made a man “faithful.” A husband can commit “adultery in his heart” with his own wife if he treats her as nothing but an object for his selfish pleasure. I know it’s a cliche, but why do so many wives claim “headache” when their husbands want sex? Could it be because they feel used rather than loved? Marriage does not justify lust; it is not a ticket to treat a spouse as a means of selfish pleasure. A woman who is the object of lust soon realizes, “You don’t love me; you don’t need me. You’re only interested in a means to your own gratification, and you can get that anywhere.” Quote from a website.
  • We lie about it because if we confessed, you would be upset. Women looking at pictures of babies and flowers show the same kind of physiological responses as men looking at women. We are wired differently. Porn releases brain "feel-good" chemicals, so it is similar to a physical addiction. It means nothing to us emotionally, it just feels good to look at it. It makes me smile. But my wife doesn't like it that I do it, so I try to be discreet. You should make it clear that it upsets you, but don't read any more into than you would if he ate too much. It may not be good for him, but it's not that important to him emotionally. That is the part women don't get. It feels good, but it doesn't mean anything.
  • I think that the women answering this question are really young and really nieve. In my opinion, they lie about it because they are embarrassd. They do love you. However, its not o.k. Men don't have the same thinking process as women. They don't have the same emotional attachment as women. To a man there is absolutely nothing in the world wrong with looking at young beautiful women in compromising positions. To some women these younger women are a threat. Questioning themselves as partners and lovers because they feel like they must not be doing something right(You are doing everything right) if the man they love has to look elsewhere to get excited.(a man is like a kindergartener getting extra icing on the cupcake.) So....because a man can't verbally tell you why they look, it makes the situation worse. We want a cut and dry answer, and they really really don't have one.
  • Maybe he lies because he thinks you will get mad....I know my friends complain about their b/fs watching porn but I really have no problem with it, I really dont get what the big deal is.
  • you over reacting men have a sex drive and porn helps just be glad he gets his fix from porn not another girl it could be worse
  • I don't think your over reacting. I don't know why men do it but I know I can't stand a bf watching pron. But I'm lucky that mind doesn't and didn't even b4 me.
  • The way to think about it is like this: everybody has sexual fantasies. Everybody has some form of a sexual fantasy when they masturbate. Porn is just a visual manifestation of a sexual fantasy to aid masturbation, in most cases. There's nothing really wrong with it.
  • I think you are angry cuz he is watching a woman who is getting paid to have sex with some random dude...and using her body for a device to make alittle extra cash. Super sexy eh?...Ya know there are men out there who dont watch porn. Only becuase they find it degrading to women, and see it as women embarressing themselves. There are men who might be curious, but dont make a habit of it...and search once or twice, but at the minute they find out their woman is uncomfterble with it...stops. The allowance of it is why men find it ok to look at. The allowance of it is what makes women capable of having a job that they may, or may not like. The allowance of it, is the reason of marriages failing...all the time, and sex addictions started. Alot stems from something so simple...I dont think you are overreacting. Many women feel disgusted and turned off by it only...becuase, well maybe. "Its not right"....I think if a man is a man...he can admire beautiful women on the streets, in bikinis...and just at random, only admiring their beauty...and poise, and confidence...not their naked bodies getting somebody stuck into em for money. Like I heard a wise man say once...."Its good for what it is"...."and thats it" Porn - yay, loads of fun...:S
  • Yeah, I think you are. If a guy watches porn, in this case i would guess it's your bf, let him be. Just make sure he doesn't become obssesed with it and does nothing but watch it all the time, THEN you will have yourself a problem there. Once in a while is fine in my opinion. I sometimes watch it with my bf and it's fun! You should be more lenient and just let him do something he enjoys, and by all means join him if you feel comfortable enough. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone told you to stop doing something you like doing at times, or when you can.
  • Girl, my husband and I have had the same problem. They do not realize its not what they are doing it is the lies. I too watch porn (with and without him), and I do not hide it from him. I will even call him to see if he wants to have phone sex while I watch it. I could go on forever about this topic. But to answer your question. You are overreacting to the PORN part of it, but not the lie. Much of porn is getting off to the act, not the people themselves; I mean have you seen many of those girls? Nice bodies, but there face!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!
  • Overreacting!
  • It's just porn. Relax. :)
  • Men like porn. And they do love their girl too. Thats it.
  • Im a guy, I dont watch porn, I think its wrong. But I do love my girl. :D
  • If a guy is really looking at porn, then no, I do not think that is an overreaction. But as for your other question, I don't know why some do that.
  • you are over reacting...in my personal opinion...the worst thing you could do, is put him on the spot and grill him about it, that could certainly damage communications between the 2 of you if he doesnt feel comfortable...its just masterbation...he isnt bangin another chick or anything is he? its just the mans version of the showerhead. and if you ladies out there think that your man isnt or hasnt watched porn...you are in serious denial!!! or he is a closet homo.
  • As long as there are men and the internet... there will be porn. they do love you.... You need to tell him why it bothers you. Remember.. you are his fantasy reality... You're better than whatever whore is on there...
  • Overreacting.
  • men like about watching porn because they know their wife or gf will get mad in most cases. a man can still love his wife and in his mind everything is ok, but he still likes to watch porn. it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. you are over reacting unless his time is consumed with watching this.
  • Men are more easily stimulated by visual aides like PORN also men frequent strip clubs~~more then women do But women are wildier at a men's strip club then men are. I think it is wrong now~~as all the women in these clubs want is your money (naturally) and I have seen my friends and even a few of my bosses give these women a lot of $$ and they were really cheap guys with their families ~~but drinking and lusting open a mans wallet you are not over reacting as sin is first thought of in the mind (lust) and sooner or later some men cross over that line~~Private lap dances? the more you tip the more you get But I have not gone to these places in years ~~it was real and it was nice but it was not real nice
  • We only lie about it if we know it bothers you. Why do we watch? Because it causes release of endorphins, causing a mild euphoric state. It acts like a drug. Kind of like a woman looking at flowers or babies. Men are also insatiably curious, "what do you suppose she looks like under her clothes?" Curiosity is not the same thing as wanting what we are looking at. Looking at a beautiful flower in the garden doesn't make you want to pick it and take it home does it? All of us as human beings can appreciate beauty without having to "own" it. Don't sweat it if it isn't causing him to neglect his responsibilities. If he is so into it that he is neglecting his duties, it is time to treat it.
  • you're not overreacting. porn is bad. it's too bad the majority of our society doesn't find anything wrong with it. lying to you is not okay either.
  • Why do they do that? Because it's time to make their own little porn. Baw chick baw baw....
  • i think you re over reacting it s better to watch porn than having an affair,right? coz men will always watch porn
  • your overreacting! Porn is better then him running off with someone else...try watching it with him maybe youll like it too!
  • Men lie about cos they're a little embarased & quite possible ashamed. They say they love you because they do, watching porn has absolutely nothing to do with love or the real world. Umm, not really sure about the over-reacting bit. It clearly bothers you & who is anyone to say what you feel isn't valid..... especially if he's already aware it upsets you & has continued anyway.
  • First of all - don't be sexist. There is no "all men" this or "all women" that. Maybe the man you were with lied about watching it, but that doesn't mean that all men do it. Personally I do not approve or endorse pornography in any way whatsoever. However most men and women find it an alternative way to release sexually when they do not have their partner around. Some people find it healthy for fantasies. In many cases, just because a partner watches porn does not mean he does not love his woman. (Mature) men separate their porn watching from actually reality. I can already tell that you don't like that he watches it, and yes it is wrong that he would lie. Don't listen to comments that say you that you are wrong for not accepting that he watches it. That is shunning what you truly feel. You need to have a serious talk and either understand each other better or simply compromise. If you can't meet half way you may have to decide that you can't be together. Trust me - there are men out there that don't give two craps about watching people have sex on video.
  • I don't think I have ever lied about watching porn.. Though I very, VERY rarely watch it. You're over-reacting and blowing it completely out of proportion.
  • I don't think you are over reacting. You are entitled to your own morals and feelings. Don't put up with anything less than a man who respects you.
  • TURN OF THE CAPS
  • You're not overreacting, porn is a disgusting thing and you are feeling the way any real woman would. He needs help. Porn is a sickness.
  • They lie because they know women overreact as your question proves. :) I think most guys that watch porn do so rarely and only when they feel the need for something more erotic than they are getting in the bedroom. Better to have an affair with his hand than another woman! ;)
  • She's NOT overreacting. PORN IS disgusting and lustful. It has NOTHING to do with "love." It's completely unhealthy
  • its porn....you are over reacting! its a man nature. If he isnt in the porn you are fine. Stop ove reacting, let him watch it, he will get ideas for the both of you
  • Its porn, i don't lie, i watch it, i have gotten lots of great ideas in sex for it, My G/F has even watched some with me.
  • Men are very visually aroused. Some men need pornography in order to get in to the "mood" and satisfy their women. Unfortunately many women do not understand male sexuality and see pornography as some kind of infidelity. If a man finds out that his wife is watching porn he will probably be happy because he will think that his wife is hot....and tonight there's going to be a lot of fun!. On the other hand, if a woman finds out that her husband is watching porn, she will feel jealous of the women in the porno videos...and will see it as if he is "breaking his bows". Male and female sexuality are very different.
  • YES YOU ARE OVERREACTING almost every man has watched atleast some little thing of porn no matter how much he denies it and I'm sure that there are women that have watched porn. Unless he's addicted to it, you shouldn't really mind
  • I hate porn. I think its gross.
  • Over reacting.
  • they lie about it because they know you will overreact.
  • he was probably just kinda ashamed, and a guy looking at porn doesnt mean that he loves his girl any less. some dudes like that shit and its kinda a way to escape from reality the same way people do drugs like drink or smoke.

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