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by Knopper67 on December 19th, 2006

Knopper67

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Do you care what people think of you?

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  • by trouble... staying calm on December 14th, 2010

    trouble... staying calm

    Asker's Pick

    Selected by the asker, Knopper67. (What's this?)

    Only the ones I care about.

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  • by Babycakes on March 16th, 2008

    Babycakes

    I care more than I should. I let peoples words dictate how I feel. I get over it sure...but at that moment I dwell longer on it then is necessary. Wish I didn't care.

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  • by Hardcore Conservative on April 19th, 2011

    Hardcore Conservative

    Of course. Everyone has some concern about how they're viewed by others. Some more than others. But what matters most is what you think of yourself.

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  • by Anonymous on March 16th, 2008

    Anonymous

    I care what my Mom and my Wife think of me and what I think of myself. Other than that, you could fit my "Concern For What Others Think Of Me " inside a flea's navel !

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  • by Nninee on March 16th, 2008

    Nninee

    I care about the opinions of my loved ones

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  • by Stableboy on January 15th, 2007

    Stableboy

    Yes, I'm not immune to that, and I'm pretty confident that people who claim they don't care are either fooling themselves or totally devoid of self-awareness.

    There's nothing wrong with caring about your public image: we all have to accept the fact that the way others interact with us is based on their IMAGE of who we are, and that our lives are affected by how others relate to us. That's just common sense.

    Having said that, it's also important to be aware of exactly when and how we're modifying our behavior for public approval. This awareness is what allows us to make wise choices: sometimes it is better to sacrifice popularity for some principle, and unless you're aware of your own motives you can't make that choice.

    So there's no intelligence in the blanket declaration "I don't care what anybody thinks". There's a lot of intelligence in "I keep an eye on my own motives, and try to prevent letting my concern for public image be the main driving force".

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  • by Pheasant on February 26th, 2012

    Pheasant

    Not usually. I gave up caring about that stuff long long long ago.

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  • by Mike on February 26th, 2012

    Mike

    Not at all

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  • by Babycakes Deux on April 23rd, 2008

    Babycakes Deux

    Not as much as I used to, but more than I'd like to.

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  • by .....----- on March 16th, 2008

    .....-----

    a lot probably more than what i should.

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  • by Lippycow on May 29th, 2007

    Lippycow

    No couldnt give a shit what people think of me,as long as im happy with myself.

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  • by ms. beautifulheart on February 26th, 2012

    ms. beautifulheart

    Nope not at all!

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  • by Caitherine on February 26th, 2012

    Caitherine

    Nope.

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  • by spookyaction on February 26th, 2012

    spookyaction

    nope

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  • by courtneyxx8 on April 19th, 2011

    courtneyxx8

    Only the people I care about. My family's opinions come first and foremost.

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  • by Sweet T on April 23rd, 2008

    Sweet T

    I used to be worried, but the older I get, the less I care. LOL.

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  • by Babycakes Deux on March 16th, 2008

    Babycakes Deux

    Not nearly as much as I used to. +5

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  • by plaidman is a sanity bandit on March 16th, 2008

    plaidman is a sanity bandit

    More than I should...

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  • by Jeztyr - whispering in the ears of kings on March 16th, 2008

    Jeztyr - whispering in the ears of kings

    I care only about the opinions of those that I respect.

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  • by Spicee on March 16th, 2008

    Spicee

    I want to not care at all about what others think about me, but no matter how hard I try, I do care a lot.

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  • by Skillet Rocks on March 16th, 2008

    Skillet Rocks

    To be honest i care quite a bit..i dont wanna be the freak or what not so i try my best to blend in with everyone else

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  • by Crystal on March 16th, 2008

    Crystal

    I care a lot about what others think of me.

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  • by .....----- on August 28th, 2007

    .....-----

    sometimes i think i care way to much about it.

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  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on August 28th, 2007

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    My father-in-law once said to me..' you know you reach an age where you don't care what anyone thinks of you'..I think I am there..or rapidly approaching.

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  • by lightfly on January 15th, 2007

    lightfly

    Yes, a little too much.

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  • by Crystal terpsichores on r☺ller skates. on February 26th, 2012

    Crystal terpsichores on r☺ller skates.

    No, "actions speak louder than words."

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  • by AnonymousGirl on February 26th, 2012

    AnonymousGirl

    To an extent, I do care about what others think about me.

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  • by Jodie44 on April 23rd, 2008

    Jodie44

    My friends, people I love like family, sure I care. I care a lot. Acquaintances, to some degree, although I wouldn't lose sleep over what they think. Strangers, no.

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  • by Stableboy on August 28th, 2007

    Stableboy

    Honestly? Yes, of course I care what people think about me as a person. I care more about those who are close friends, family, etc., than I do about those who are further from my heart, but I think it would be quite the bit of self-deception to claim that I'm immune to concerns about reputation or "public image".

    Furthermore, I don't even see this as a problem. To me, it's a bit nutty to think one is going to be immune to concerns about reputation -- that's not even a worthwhile goal to have. What DOES matter is being able to be aware of when those concerns are distorting one's choices, perceptions, or actions. In other words, this is a psychological trait which needs to be *managed* so that it doesn't become a problem. That's very different than thinking it can be eliminated.

    For those who claim they don't care what others think about them, I offer this experiment: walk into a crowded elevator at lunchtime in a tall office building. Turn and FACE the others. While you're facing them, share the most embarrassing moment in your life... the one that still makes you cringe with shame. Be sure to look them in the eye, and be sincere. After you've told the story (try to make it quick), strip down to your underwear and sing "Born to Be Wild" at the top of your lungs.

    If the preceding experiment causes you no consternation, you are indeed free from concerns about the opinions of others. If you find it's upsetting, shut up about how little you care what others think!

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  • by DreAnna on August 28th, 2007

    DreAnna

    Life is way too short to worry about what other people think of you..the only person you need to answer to is yourself. :)

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  • by Stableboy on May 29th, 2007

    Stableboy

    Absolutely!

    Here's an experiment for those who don't think this is true about them: go to an office building at lunch hour, and spend 15 minutes riding the elevators up and down while people are going out to lunch. But ride the elevator in a special way: turn around and FACE everyone else, and sing "Born To Be Wild" softly while making your best Whinnie The Pooh face. (Don't take your friends along for moral support, do this as an experiment in just how free you are from concern for the opinions of others!)

    If this experiment just happens to agree with your personality type, try a different experiment which contains similar elements but doesn't massage your wild-and-crazy side.

    When we say "I don't care what others think of me", what we mostly mean is "I've regulated by personality and behavior carefully enough to have achieved a pretty low level of anxiety about my presentation to others". So I don't feel bothered by it most of the time. But that's NOT the same as being free from concern about disapproval, it's really just lack of self-awareness.

    So yeah, I do care what others think of me. What should I do about that? This is where it gets subtle: the real job isn't to stop caring what others think of me, it's to be AWARE of when my need for approval is affecting my behavior or actions in ways that are less than appropriate -- to be able to have a CHOICE about whether or not to let that concern determine my actions in some situation where it matters.

    Beyond that, there is another way of looking at the topic too: I have images of myself, and also ideas about how others perceive me. But the ideas others have about me aren't quite right, and neither are my own ideas of myself -- they're all just concepts and images. None of them really capture "self" in anything but a very superficial way. So the more I'm aware of what these ideas are, the more it's obvious that they're kind of a shell game with nothing under the shell: what difference does it make what I or anybody else thinks, if I can see that those thoughts can't possibly be true? Neither the good ones OR the bad ones. It's all false.

    So the kind of "me" which is well-grounded doesn't care for any ideas at all... it's beyond all ideas and images. But I can't say anything useful about that kind of self, because it's beyond language. I CAN say "hey, glad to meet you, I'm a 49 year old married male Zen practitioner computer programmer piano player whatever", and that's something people can relate to. So I say that.

    And I don't sing "Born to be Wild" in ways that would freak people out, unless I'm in a freaking out mood.

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  • by steelhamster@aol.com on March 21st, 2007

    steelhamster@aol.com

    If people think of me, Im flattered, wether it be for good or ill... although lets face it, how could anyone say a bad word about me, I'm so wonderful ;-) Oscar Wilde said it best, "there is only one thing worse than people talking about you, its people not talking about you"

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  • by TheAnswerer on January 15th, 2007

    TheAnswerer

    Yes.

    I don't want people to think of me as a freak or anything, like who does????

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  • by donovan reynolds. on January 15th, 2007

    donovan reynolds.

    Yes, to an extent.

    I get horribly upset if someone says something deliberately to upset me. I try and be friends with everyone, and sometimes I go a bit far, and overstep my boundaries by trying to befriend people who never wanted to be my friend in the first place.

    I can't go out of the house without looking somehwat decent. The last thing I want is to be talked about while my back is turned.

    But sometimes, I just give up on trying to be perfect and make everyone like me, and it just ends up being a lot less stressful and works out better anyway.

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  • by Valparaiso on January 15th, 2007

    Valparaiso

    Yes I do care what the people I know personally think of me.

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  • by EL1 2 on January 15th, 2007

    EL1 2

    Yes I do. But not enough to radically change who I am.

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  • by Firebrand on January 15th, 2007

    Firebrand

    Yes probably too much but in real time I would never let them know . Particularly if they had hurt me

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  • by bigkado69 on December 19th, 2006

    bigkado69

    not realy .everyone can f**k off for all i care.So if u dont like me then oh well..lol

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  • by Robster on February 26th, 2012

    Robster

    I am happy the way I am thats important to me, so I am not worried how people percive me.

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  • by whatsupp on February 26th, 2012

    whatsupp

    no ...what people think about me is not my business.

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  • by -O-uknow on February 26th, 2012

    -O-uknow

    Me?

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  • by fundamentallyflawed on February 26th, 2012

    fundamentallyflawed

    Yes. We all do. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. It's human nature to want to fit in, feel accepted and belong.

    Saying you shouldn't care is just a really cool thing people who fit in, belong and are accepted say ironically to fit in. Like when beautiful people say looks don't matter, it's what is on the inside that counts while they hang off the arm of another equally beautiful person.

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  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on April 19th, 2011

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    only those whose opinion matters to me.

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  • by engineer is Terminator on December 14th, 2010

    engineer is Terminator

    No matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone or any particular person all the time.So, I really don't bother anymore and try to give my best all the time.Counting on others opinion sometimes hampers my performance.

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  • by wendyc on September 6th, 2009

    wendyc

    Nope, over the years I've grown a pretty thick skin, with exception of my friends and family I could give a darn less what people think of me.

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  • by Jen-Jen on June 1st, 2008

    Jen-Jen

    NO, I don't give a rats..a^s

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  • by FaerieWhings on April 23rd, 2008

    FaerieWhings

    Half yes and half no.

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  • by amy on April 23rd, 2008

    amy

    only people i love

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  • by Mystery Girl on April 15th, 2008

    Mystery Girl

    Yes!

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  • by Symbeline on March 16th, 2008

    Symbeline

    A lot more then I let on, but in the end I'm not willing to change for anyone, and I know that I can't change anyone's idea of me, for the most part. I get over it though, and I also think it's pretty natural for people to be concerned with the opinions of others towards their person. We're all supposed to live in ''packs'' so to speak, therefore I find it natural to want to be accepted, or at least recognized.

    I mean nobody ever bitches when good things are said about them, only bad things. It's like the opinion and the reasoning behind the statement don't even matter that much, only the image, so by realizing that it's pretty easy to shrug most things off. But I'll admit, it's one thing that always bothered me. But meh, I can easily settle for being perceived as abnormal and farked up, good enough for me. :)

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You're reading Do you care what people think of you? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • Be honest,...do you care what people think about you?
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