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by If i ask no questions ill get no lies on October 18th, 2008

If i ask no questions ill get no lies

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I know this is putting some in the spotlight, but i need honest answers from cheaters. Do the people who cheat care at all how their partner would feel if they knew? Do they feel guilty and if so, why did they do it?

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Answers. 7 helpful answers below.

  • by Elfie on October 18th, 2008

    Elfie

    Well I obviously can't speak for everyone, but in my case. Yes I cared about how my partner would feel and felt guilty. Assuming you love that person at all, you feel for them. The thing is, your feelings of guilt do not always over-come feelings of desire and love. At least in my situation the relationship with my partner had slowly died, we rarely touched, never went out, never flirted. We were both waiting for him to move away for work in a couple months... so when someone showed up for obviously wanted me, took me places, etc, I was not going to let my feelings of guilt get in the way of a possible better situation. I did break up with my partner after cheating, due to it.

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  • by iwnit on October 18th, 2008

    iwnit

    Cheaters are not honest, so don't expect an honest answer!
    ;-)

    I suppose some of them also feel guilty.
    I also feel guilty sometimes when I eat chocolate...

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  • by CaptainHarley adores his life penguin on October 18th, 2008

    CaptainHarley adores his life penguin

    Lemmie tell ya something ... my ex cut me off from any sort of affection. I held out for THREE YEARS totally without being to hold anyone, make love to anyone, or even hold hands with anyone. I decided I wasn't going to live the rest of my life like that and started seeing other women. Then I got accused of "cheating." BULLSHIT! I'm not real receptive to that sort of accusation anymore. : (

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  • by Anonymous D on February 28th, 2009

    Anonymous D

    When I was younger, a married man I worked with hit on my constantly. He played so many mind games, I couldn't think straight and he wrapped me up in his world.

    I myself had a boyfriend at the time, but we weren't really that serious and I knew we wouldn't end up married. He was just fun for the time being, so I didn't really think about him very much in this situation.

    But when it came down to it, and I actually came close to acting on the married man's advances, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He was a pig, and I knew that I would end up getting hurt, but that's not what stopped me.

    I knew that he'd already been married once, had a child and divorced and remarried with a couple more children from his then current wife. I just couldn't bring myself to be the one to tear up his family yet again.

    I didn't want to hurt his wife in that way, even if he was willing to. I didn't want to make the kids have a dad they could only visit on the weekends.

    They did end up separating later on, but I was glad to know that I at least stopped myself from making things worse for them and hope that he learned to be faithful to his next victim, I mean girlfriend.

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  • by A on February 28th, 2009

    A

    Well, my boyfriend felt guilty and I can assure you that he cares about me a ton. He recognized what he did as doing the most horrible thing possible that could be done to me and he's made no excuses for it. I'm not really sure if he still feels guilty, but I hope not. Why? Well, because I know he meant his apology and I have forgiven him. It would suck if he still felt guilty. Why did he do it? Well, because he wanted to have sex....and some chick opened her legs like a slut to him and whored out her body. She hasn't even given me a good reason why she did allow for it to happen. To her, "I don't know how it happened or why it happened, it just happened" is a good enough reason. At least his reason makes sense, and it's not that big of a surprise to me anyway. He's wanted to do it for a long time. It's not like I didn't know that. Yes, I realize that makes him look like a bad person, but he's really not. He's just a very sexual person and he's human like any of the rest of us. Anyway, I waited a long time, which in turn meant he waited a long time, too, and he ended up thinking I'd never do it.... and here, this girl comes along and offers her body to him. (Never mind the fact that she had a boyfriend at the time and she claims that she respected me 'before after what happened' and she never thought of me as less than a friend and we're apparently 'sisters' and so on. What am I supposed to make of that?).

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  • by Looshk on February 28th, 2009

    Looshk

    I cheated with a girl.
    (I am a girl too)
    I have no idea why I did it.
    It just happened I felt horrible and told him straight away.
    Yes I care for him and I shouldn't have done it.
    I was drunk but thats no excuse and I haven't done it again since he trusts me because I told him out straight...

    I've never done it b4 and never will again.

    I am an honest person who made a mistake and was forgiven, so we're not all assholes.

    We're still together and we have a good relationship.

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  • by fluffylucy on August 4th, 2010

    fluffylucy

    funnily enough, although I think sexual fidelity is a load of bollocks (nonsense), I've never "cheated" in a monogamous relationship but I can understand those who do. I suspect that the reason they hide their acts is, as often as not, an attempt to protect their partners from hurt and preserve the relationship. this is a sign of caring.

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