Answerbag: Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin's answers

Answer to Describe your ego in not more than three words?

Sat, 26 May 2012 09:12:44 -0700

Describe your ego in not more than three words?

Tasty caramel center

Answer to Do you think that this guy is still a danger to society?

Sat, 19 May 2012 13:10:18 -0700

Do you think that this guy is still a danger to society?

Ryan Seacrest is the Devil's spawn...

Answer to I come from a family of ____?

Wed, 16 May 2012 08:19:03 -0700

I come from a family of ____?

waffle smugglers

Answer to Our bodies r micro-universes& by maintaining balance in r bodies of these primal universal forces,we remain in good health-Agree or not?

Sat, 12 May 2012 12:37:42 -0700

Our bodies r micro-universes& by maintaining balance in r bodies of these primal universal forces,we remain in good health-Agree or not?

and yet I still want a sandwich.

Answer to How many electric machine could one use in one's life?

Sat, 05 May 2012 07:58:00 -0700

How many electric machine could one use in one's life?

One. We are all part of the Matrix.

Answer to What creates an environment of fear? What doesn't? Why?

Thu, 03 May 2012 08:25:08 -0700

What creates an environment of fear? What doesn't? Why?

1) Ignorance 2) Knowledge 3) Do the math, otherwise refer to #1.

Answer to Customer service. Why don't they just let you talk to a "representative"?

Thu, 03 May 2012 08:05:27 -0700

Customer service. Why don't they just let you talk to a "representative"?

for a straight answer press or yell one for a serious answer, press or whipser two. for your answer in ASL press or sign the number 3 for your answer in Irish, press or what the hell, Angus is drunk again today. It has to do with giving the representative the power to asnswer questions and to...

Answer to Don't you just love lighting?

Tue, 01 May 2012 20:22:23 -0700

Don't you just love lighting?

I like both lighting (bringing of light to a dark area) and lightning (the electrical discharge in the sky).

Answer to I want to organise a nude party; how can I ask friends without offending?

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:29:52 -0700

I want to organise a nude party; how can I ask friends without offending?

Poll your friends. Ask them if they would like a "nude party". If the answer is yes, give them a coat hanger for their clothes and have at it, otherwise just watch your neighbors party.

Answer to What consequences are there for a Mormon who remains unmarried?

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 18:24:32 -0700

What consequences are there for a Mormon who remains unmarried?

Lots of cream cheese.

Answer to What's you favorite citrus fruit?

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:00:47 -0700

What's you favorite citrus fruit?

the kumquot

Answer to What should I take to a 5 day 4 night volleyball camp? Please list everything!

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:49:40 -0700

What should I take to a 5 day 4 night volleyball camp? Please list everything!

a cat on a stick 3 lbs of onions a 3 way mirror a Thomas Kinkade painting a 40 pound cheese roll

Answer to What were medieval castles made of?

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 10:44:21 -0700

What were medieval castles made of?

Peeps.

Answer to How old are you when you are middle aged, my big sis at 42 refuses to fall in that bracket?

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 09:27:44 -0700

How old are you when you are middle aged, my big sis at 42 refuses to fall in that bracket?

I've seen people young at 90 and old at 22. Middle aged is not a half way point between anything. Not like Dallas is half way between El Paso and Houston (an example, not actual fact) If your sis is Young at Heart, let her dance like no one is watching and love her for that. ...

Answer to Whats something i could show you, that you will never forget

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 10:41:47 -0700

Whats something i could show you, that you will never forget

1) a politician that is honest. 2) a three headed monkey 3) a self milking cow 4) a statue of you made of cottage cheese and green sherbert. 5) an honest self milking three headed politician made of cottage cheese and green sherbert

Answer to Do you plan to get a sheep and a cow and breed horses?

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 08:40:31 -0700

Do you plan to get a sheep and a cow and breed horses?

No, but considering that they have moved into my house I have little choice but accept it.

Answer to Duke LaCross team, Tawana Bradley, now Trayvon Martin. When will Al, Jesse, or Barack quit trying to fabricate racist crimes?

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:47:30 -0700

Duke LaCross team, Tawana Bradley, now Trayvon Martin. When will Al, Jesse, or Barack quit trying to fabricate racist crimes?

The day you trade in your sheets for a brain.

Answer to why wont the government disclose the information they have on extra-terrestrial beings to the public?

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 19:36:13 -0700

why wont the government disclose the information they have on extra-terrestrial beings to the public?

Because they run the government. And Hillary Clinton would have to go back to Area 51.

Answer to Can you name one thing you love about where you live?

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 19:34:01 -0700

Can you name one thing you love about where you live?

It's 1500 miles away from you?

Answer to Does this photo arouse you?

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 19:31:43 -0700

Does this photo arouse you?

Fishing bait on a nice plate. No arousal there.

Answer to What is something that should not be returned?

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 07:25:04 -0700

What is something that should not be returned?

Previouly used Jello

Answer to What places should mobile phones be turned off?

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:46:13 -0700

What places should mobile phones be turned off?

I attended a funeral and a cell phone started ringing, everyone looked around and no body's phone was ringing. The ringing started again, the embasrassed wife stood up and said that it was her dead husband's phone, which he want to be buried with. He wanted to go into the afterlife with a...

Answer to How do you dispose of used cooking oil?

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 10:57:25 -0700

How do you dispose of used cooking oil?

I spread it on my street and watch the cars go slippy-slidely.

Answer to Age of majority must be 16 instead of 18 or 21.Agree or disagree?Why?

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:50:36 -0700

Age of majority must be 16 instead of 18 or 21.Agree or disagree?Why?

Answer redacted by Giant Killer Sloth

Answer to Can you enjoy reading a book without believing everything the writer has to say?

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:46:35 -0700

Can you enjoy reading a book without believing everything the writer has to say?

The Yellow Pages (TM), Brooklyn 1950

Answer to Do you like pets？

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:43:50 -0700

Do you like pets？

sure, even better when they make bbq for me...

Answer to What's a job you would NOT like your child to have?

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:42:48 -0700

What's a job you would NOT like your child to have?

1) Whale feces collector 2) Toad fart counter 3) Koolaid taster at a Jim Jone's meeting 4) Mosquito artifical inseminator 5) Trumpet Spit valve repairman

Answer to I got my finger stuck in ___________.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:11:20 -0700

I got my finger stuck in ___________.

my pet cow's left ear. Don't ask!!!1

Answer to How fast does a houseflies heart beat?

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:09:52 -0700

How fast does a houseflies heart beat?

about 370 beats a minute.

Answer to If Obama apologized to you and fixed the top 5 things on your list, what would they be?

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 17:34:46 -0800

If Obama apologized to you and fixed the top 5 things on your list, what would they be?

1) Bring back the free birthday meal at Dennys. 2) "Dancing with the Stars" 3) Deflate Kim Kardasian's ass. 4) Free membership in the "Elk's club" 5) $4 dollar foot long sandwiches....

Answer to How did the hand gesture "devil horns" get started at metal music concerts?

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:26:26 -0800

How did the hand gesture "devil horns" get started at metal music concerts?

It is an attempt my concert goers to give the "finger" but are unable due to partaking in alcohol, drugs or spinal traction.

Answer to What was that hand gesture you just made at me?

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 18:44:50 -0800

What was that hand gesture you just made at me?

Hang loose or loosely hanging, which depends on age and the affect of gravity on you.

Answer to 69 in a 65 in west virgina what is the fine amount

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 16:50:31 -0800

69 in a 65 in west virgina what is the fine amount

Speeding is a capital offense in Virginia. The death penalty is given on a regular basis with no appeal rights.

Answer to Did AB overstep our rights freedom and privacy by asking us us to answer a survey we did not ask for?

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 07:41:37 -0800

Did AB overstep our rights freedom and privacy by asking us us to answer a survey we did not ask for?

I lie in every survey i take and that is the truth.

Answer to So what did you give up for lent?

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 20:13:36 -0800

So what did you give up for lent?

I have decided not to give up something but to do more for others. I have donated to my local soup kitchen. Volunteered at a animal shelter. Worked with a group of elderly people and flossed after every meal.

Answer to Why would the lion sleep in the peaceful village opposed to the jungle?

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:25:09 -0800

Why would the lion sleep in the peaceful village opposed to the jungle?

So he could redeem his frequent flyer miles.

Answer to is $60,000 a decent salary for one adult.

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 10:52:28 -0800

is $60,000 a decent salary for one adult.

where? doing what?

Answer to Where's a good place to lose myself?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:29:31 -0800

Where's a good place to lose myself?

The depth of your soul if you have one.

Answer to If elected POTUS, will Santorum fight Satan? If so how will he do it?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:24:27 -0800

If elected POTUS, will Santorum fight Satan? If so how will he do it?

Ultimate cage fighting?

Answer to If I was a Vampire would you be afraid?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:19:27 -0800

If I was a Vampire would you be afraid?

only because you would suck at it.

Answer to Why do I keep hearing voices at night?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:15:21 -0800

Why do I keep hearing voices at night?

Turn off the Art Bell show.

Answer to What are the odds I will be president one day ;)

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:14:47 -0800

What are the odds I will be president one day ;)

about the same as being attacked by a great white shark on the corner of 4th and Union in Oakland next Tuesday at 3:30

Answer to Would you like to drink with me?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:12:31 -0800

Would you like to drink with me?

only if you are buying....

Answer to Why are you wearing boots?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:19:42 -0800

Why are you wearing boots?

because they were made for walking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww Sorry about that...

Answer to When you examine your life, do you cringe?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:14:52 -0800

When you examine your life, do you cringe?

other than running for the position of Ruler of the Known World I have nothing to cringe about.

Answer to I wished I lived closer to _____________?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:12:06 -0800

I wished I lived closer to _____________?

tomorrow.

Answer to Planet Earth is blue and __________________

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:10:24 -0800

Planet Earth is blue and __________________

very tasty with plum chutney.

Answer to Did you have a healthy breakfast today?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:08:55 -0800

Did you have a healthy breakfast today?

2 slices of pizza and a beer.

Answer to My hair________________?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:08:16 -0800

My hair________________?

is available as a topping on a Dominos pizza.

Answer to I hear a_____________________?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:00:26 -0800

I hear a_____________________?

a farting cricket

Answer to I'm going to the mall to dye my hair blonde in a little bit! Should I get the nails done while I'm there too!?

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 10:47:29 -0800

I'm going to the mall to dye my hair blonde in a little bit! Should I get the nails done while I'm there too!?

and what about a wash and a hot wax and realignment ?

Answer to What is the worst job that you have ever had?Or can imagine having?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:22:37 -0800

What is the worst job that you have ever had?Or can imagine having?

1) Selling Elvis Greatest Hits at a Deaf Lumberjack Festival 2) Selling "AfterLife" insurance policies at an atheist convention. 3) Selling lowfat ice cream outside of the neighborhood "Curves (tm)"

Answer to I have a fear of _________?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:14:33 -0800

I have a fear of _________?

fear (Phobophobia)

Answer to Do you see God as a man or a woman?

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 10:56:18 -0800

Do you see God as a man or a woman?

yes I do

Answer to You know its a boody call when_________________?:-)

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:33:52 -0800

You know its a boody call when_________________?:-)

you call up a hot number and your wife answers.

Answer to Poll: Who causes the most problems in the world?

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:25:03 -0800

Poll: Who causes the most problems in the world?

Left handed people

Answer to would y help yr kids financially past the age of 18

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:24:14 -0800

would y help yr kids financially past the age of 18

you don't. But you do pray for them and heavily insure them in case something happens.

Answer to I get no thrill from _________

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:21:26 -0800

I get no thrill from _________

1) kissing zombies 2) dirty dancing with your mother 3) Monica Lewinsky playing with my zipper. 4) Drinking tequilla on the top of the water tower in the center of town 5) French kissing Sister Mary Martha

Answer to What a difference ___________makes !?

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:12:42 -0800

What a difference ___________makes !?

cleansing enema

Answer to How do we look like?

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:09:05 -0800

How do we look like?

Everyone has a moustache?

Answer to When a customer ask you for this, what would you say?

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:52:00 -0800

When a customer ask you for this, what would you say?

If you have to ask you can't afford it.

Answer to Is is true that eating tomatoes make a girls breast's grow?

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 19:40:28 -0800

Is is true that eating tomatoes make a girls breast's grow?

and using catsup will do what?

Answer to What raw meats can give you worms?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:48:43 -0800

What raw meats can give you worms?

most wild boars will give you worms and not the red wiggler kind at that.

Answer to What does your dog told you?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:47:10 -0800

What does your dog told you?

the winning lottery numbers, we have won nearly $4000.

Answer to What kind of education do you need to be an actor?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:46:18 -0800

What kind of education do you need to be an actor?

Most actors are dumber than a box of hammers (not to insult hammers).

Answer to Sitting in an English garden waiting for _____________

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:43:28 -0800

Sitting in an English garden waiting for _____________

Beatrix Potter, that Victorian hussy.

Answer to I don't object if you _________________

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:42:22 -0800

I don't object if you _________________

dismember my mother.

Answer to What is it about Subway that you dislike?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:41:29 -0800

What is it about Subway that you dislike?

The smell of urine on warm nights. Oh, you mean the sandwich place, well the same answer fits.

Answer to What was your favorite T.V show growing up?

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:00:23 -0800

What was your favorite T.V show growing up?

the test pattern on channel 7

Answer to Can you cut me a piece of ___________please!?

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:58:14 -0800

Can you cut me a piece of ___________please!?

bull testicle.

Answer to I hurt myself __________________________

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:25:30 -0800

I hurt myself __________________________

thinking. damn there it goes again...

Answer to Delicate like ____________ .

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:24:39 -0800

Delicate like ____________ .

a male black widow spider leaving after sex.

Answer to what phd earns the most money?

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:44:06 -0800

what phd earns the most money?

the phd that sells real estate.

Answer to There is no school on ______.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:43:16 -0800

There is no school on ______.

Mars.

Answer to Why do I still miss you?

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:37:00 -0800

Why do I still miss you?

I still owe you money you ain't gonna get.

Answer to Do women lie about there weight

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:35:58 -0800

Do women lie about there weight

do birds swim ?, do fish fly?

Answer to When do stores start selling swimsuits?

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:51:14 -0800

When do stores start selling swimsuits?

when the outside ambient temperature rises above 32 degrees

Answer to Do moth balls keep cats away?

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:21:11 -0800

Do moth balls keep cats away?

I would rather use a coyote or land mine.

Answer to What is the strangest thing you remember seeing a cat doing?

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:20:06 -0800

What is the strangest thing you remember seeing a cat doing?

making me coffee this morning, she put 4 teaspoons of sugar in it.

Answer to I dont like the way she______________?