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I made less money then my husband this year. were trying to figure out who would get more money for putting our baby as a dependent. any idea? Are you filing jointly? That would normally be your best bet, and if that's the case there's no distinction -- each child is an exemption on the joint return. If you're not filing jointly, why not? If you're divorced, the divorce settlement should specify who gets the children each year for tax purposes.

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What is critical thinking Critical thinking starts with challenging "ordinary" thinking -- instead of simply accepting it without question. There's lots of opportunity (and value) in critical thinking, because most of the things we ordinarily think are somewhat dubious -- they haven't been well tested, there are a lot of presumptions present, the logic is questionable, etc. Just as mankind once...

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How do I unlock a .doc file What do you mean by "unlocked"? If the document is protected with a password against changes, you should find the person with the password and ask them to give it to you. If you're entitled to the contents of the document legally, but have lost access to the password, there are services on the Internet which will crack it for a fee. Google for "Microsoft Word password...

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Which question on answerbag has the most harsh, never ending arguments in the comments? Please give link to question. Here you go: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/820337

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Who here uses a picture of them self in their avatar? What kind of fool would do that?

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I need help on knowing how to start a relationship The process isn't really complicated, it's just hard to come up with the courage sometimes. 1. Pick someone you're attracted to. 2. Let them know that you're interested in them, that you think they're special. 3. See if they show any signs of interest in return. If not, return to step 1. 4. Let them know that you want to spend time with them. Tradition says...

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My step daughter & my niece (who I am very close to) are both 5 weeks pregnant. My step daughter lives in NC & wants me there but my niece wants me there 4 her in FL. If they are both giving birth within a few days of each other, who should I be with? Wow, what a problem to have! I guess if you can afford lots of last-minute plane tickets, you can do both. Otherwise, I'd lock the ladies into a Steel Cage Match(tm) and let them fight it out :)

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Which religion do you think is the strongest religion in the world? I want the first one, second, and third. Wow, you think anybody is going to stick their neck out that far?! You're just asking for arguments :) But of course, we're free to define what is meant by "strongest", yes? And each religion will have it's own definition, so the comparison will most likely be meaningless. But here goes anyway: My definition of "strongest" is "most effective...

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What do you call a gathering of answerbaggers? It's a meeting of the Society of Experts on Other's Lives.

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After 12 volts is applied to an auto radiator fan motor, how much current is in the grounding wire wire The amount of current is constant in a circuit, so it will be the same amount of current that's going in the positive lead. The only way to know the amount would be to measure it.

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Does music affect your emotions? If it doesn't, it's questionable whether one should call it "music".

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Mcdonald's or In-N-Out? In-n-out. By about 500 miles. :)

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Where is the kingdom of heaven? Right here, right now. Not even an inch or a second away. To miss that is to miss the entire point.

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Do you ever knowingly contradict yourself in the spirit of being disagreeable? No. Well, yes. I guess. No, now I'm thinking not. But it might be... no, wait. Definitely yes. Yes. That's my final position.

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I have been married 7months & my husband announced to me that he does not love me anymore cause he can't handle the commitment and just wants to be friends again, he has also physically & emotionaly detached himself from me. Any advice Very sorry, that sounds painful. Has he actually left yet? People say all sorts of things in the course of a relationship, and often back up and try to erase them later, change course, etc. But actions speak louder than words. If he's still with you, it's probably worth trying to just "give him some room" so he can work it out. Even if he leaves, that's not...

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If we are supposed to be complete and whole within ourselves, what do we need a partner for? You're NOT supposed to be "complete and whole within yourself". That's a misunderstanding of what wholeness is. The only self that's whole and complete is the one which includes everyone else and all of reality. The "personal self" is at best a practical concept, useful for functioning in daily life -- at worst it's a tragic delusion that acts as a...

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My daughter got power of attorney for my mother, I just found out, and I want to have the power of attorney. She is not getting my mother the things my mom needs, she's had it for approx 2 yrs and has spent all the money and not on my mom. You're going to have to get a lawyer on this one, sorry.

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Do you think world peace is an actual probability, or are the Miss America contestants dreaming? I think world peace is a possibility, but not with Miss America running the program :)

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Isn't Dr. Maxwell a complete SOB? Umm.... this isn't something I would expect from you. Did you have a fight?

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Which of these comes closest to your worst trait: bossy, unreliable, self-destructive, judgemental or selfish? Bossy. No contest.

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If it had one, how big was the harddisk on the first computer you ever used? My first computer didn't have a hard drive: it was a Sanyo MBC-550, built around 1982. It had single 360k floppy disk, and you had to swap disks almost constantly when running programs to load the right programs or data. It was "IBM Compatible" using a very loose definition of the word, meaning "many programs won't run right". After about a year of swapping...

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In what ways might living by virtues of individualism and self-sufficiency can be harmful to a community? Very simply, no man (or woman) is an island. In fact, the notion of self-sufficiency is mostly a delusion. Nobody is, or ever has been, truly and completely self-sufficient. For one thing, there's no way you could have made it to adulthood by yourself: at a minimum, somebody else had to feed you and teach you enough to get by, even if you lived your entire life in the woods alone....

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Theres a guy in town who sits on benches and sometimes to himself says quite loudly "there are four of them, I tell you there are four" - four of what, any ideas ? (asking him doesnt work) Four horsemen of the apocalypse. He saw them ride by, each carrying the severed head of a different Hollywood starlet, and nobody believes him. He thinks Daryl Hannah had the best make-up of the four. You can verify this for yourself -- don't ask him what he's talking about, just say "which way did they go?". He'll point North.

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Do you think there are people who like drama in their lives even though they whine and complain about it? Certainly... there's a "payoff" in drama -- it makes us feel like something interesting is happen, it may validate some personal identity ("I'm a tragic soul"), it can be used as a smokescreen to distract us from something we want to avoid ("I can't deal with that right now, there's too much going on in my life"), and it can be used to...

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Are there any words that aren't really words, that you think should be? (I like Walri for the plural of walrus). 1. Pornucopia: an overabundance of porn. I worked for a property management company when I was young, and was once sent to clean out an abandoned apartment that was filled floor to ceiling with stacks of porn -- a pornucopia. 2. Subnattering: muttering negative judgments under your breath so others can hear, but you can still claim to be talking to yourself if challenged. 3. Volatoilet:...

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Why did God create me? It's so misery in here.. What exactly is miserable? What are you upset about? The more specific you can get, the more likely you can make some progress. Statements like "I'm just no good", or "I'm depressed all the time", or "Everybody hates me" are vast generalizations worth avoiding. Try to pin down EXACTLY what your issues are, in as much detail as possible. That kind...

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My BF does not really talk to anyone have friend besides me. He is an introvert. 30s. Works with his dad a couple days a week. His sister doesn't work (30s) had 1, but quit b/c panic attacks. . I am wondering can this improve? Has porn affinity too. Yes, it can improve... the question is whether or not you should be hanging around hoping for that. If he's not sufficiently engaged in life to be a real partner for you, what's the point? It really doesn't work for a couple to wrap themselves up entirely in their own little world and keep everyone and everything else out: usually when that happens, there's some...

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I'm looking to move to California but it is so expensive. How do people afford it out there? Salaries also tend to be higher... but not high enough to make up for the housing prices. A lot of people cannot afford to own a home, they live in smaller or less appealing housing than they would in a cheaper area.

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Are the people who think they are better than you really better than you? Yes, and they're more modest too.

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What would make you feel safer and more relaxed on a flight? I don't normally have safety concerns. Once in a while there's a rough landing or some strange sinking during takeoff, but I think I've only been alarmed by turbulence once. But "relaxed"!? You gotta get a clipboard and number from 1..100, we'll start in the upper-left corner :)

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Is there anything in your life you cannot forgive yourself for? I don't think so. Some things have been tough, but I'm getting pretty good at it now. I think this is a really important thing to do -- it's very hard to forgive others if you can't forgive yourself. It's all about healing the rifts and divisions by recognizing that we all have the same common background: we suffer, we have shortcomings, we make mistakes, we avoid...

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I used to be happy being who I was. Then I made some changes in my life and it was incredible, but now I lost everything; my confidence, my strength. I feel empty and lonely, what should I do? I don't know if I want to be the one I was before. Life can only be understood looking backward. It has to be lived looking forward. We've all made mistakes, we all have situations in life which are the result of what we did (or didn't do) in the past. And some of those situations can be pretty tough. But even so, each moment is entirely new -- your situation is the raw material for creating the future. You're not...

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My daughters next door neighbour threw there male dog over my daughters fence without my daughters permission and her female dog had 3 pups now the neighbour wants money when the pups are sold does she have any rights and my daughter paid nearly $400.00 I very much doubt that they have any case -- there was no contract in place, the male dog was on your property without your knowledge or consent, and dogs do what they do -- they mate. I've never heard of anybody being entitled to be compensated for their dog's seed given willingly :)

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Who else thinks we need to do more to get rid of those people who say bad stuff about other Abers like Crystal Clear of blue,Eric ,BabyCakes etc? The only practical solution is to pressure the staff to appoint more Community Leaders so that these trolls can be dealt with swiftly. Right now we have only 3 (Tani, Galeanda, and LynfromNM). It's just not reasonable to expect them to be online all the time to deal with each outbreak of idiocy.

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Was David O. McKay a false prophet? About every 2 months some new user shows up on Answerbag who thinks they're going to do us all a favor by exposing the Mormons, or the Jehovah's Witnesses, or the Catholics, or some other religious group as a false religion. It's entertaining for about... um... 5 seconds. Invariably the postings are full of Bible verses and dire warnings and stories of horrible perversions...

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Who is going to help me get enough points to get to level 12? Welcome to Answerbag. One of the things you should be aware of is that, like any community, Answerbag has some local etiquette and guidelines. One of them is that asking for points is a violation, and will generally get people upset. The way to make points is to do your best to be helpful, and make friends. Good luck.

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Why people hate Norton antivirus? It is a one of the top rating softwares in the reviews and a very popular product in the market. I think I'm in a somewhat unique position on AB as perhaps the only person who actually worked on the Symantec source code. Day after day, I slogged through the mountains of ancient geologic code layers, trying to fathom how anything could become so convoluted and bizarre. As a software engineer, I would say the main problem is that the code base is so old, and has been patched up so...

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I feel that there is no difference between owning pets and owning (human) slaves except that pets have no voice with which to defend themselves, so they have no rights. Am I wrong? Yes, there's a big difference. Human / pet relationships have mutual benefits, and pets can (usually) opt out if they want to. Most do not. Also, humans typically love their pets, and do their best to care for them and make their lives comfortable. By contrast, slaves are simply exploited for the gain of their owners, with no concern for the needs or rights of the slave.

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Why is it that some intelligent women will stay in a relationship that doesn't seem healthy? Intelligence does not equal healthy self-esteem: plenty of intelligent people have negative beliefs about themselves, and when someone is awash in self-doubt and insecurity no amount of I.Q. will rescue them. Often women stay with men who are domineering and abusive, because that relationship reinforces their identity: "I'm no good, I don't deserve someone better", etc....

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Experienced ABer's : I'm setting up a website for my business venture. Once it's complete I would love to get your opinions on it's good/bad points. Would I be allowed to do that on this site or is it against policy? There's always a risk that your posting on the topic will be interpreted as spam and removed. If you can live with that, forge ahead! When you announce it, you should probably make your question(s) as specific as possible -- i.e. "what do you think of the layout?" is better than "will you look at my site?", etc.

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I've liked this girl for 3 years at school, even though i don't know her well, and she isn't as good looking as she used to be when she was younger. All my friends say she is a bitch, and i know that she doesn't like me, what should i do? There's this concrete wall on the way to school, and it looks really smooth and inviting. I'd like to pound my head against it, but my friends say it might hurt. What should I do?

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Why do you think your exes say mean things about you? They know me well.

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If I have been supporting a child that is living with me fulltime, but is not related to me -- (he was left with me by an ex-boyfriend, with little or no financial support!!), can I claim him on my taxes? Yes, no problem. If you're providing over 1/2 of the child's support, you can claim them as an exemption.

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Can someone please explain to me the basic theory of evolution? I'm pro-creation, but I think it's only fair to examine and/or study both sides of the argument. You can't claim to be open minded while admitting that you don't understand the basics of the position opposite the one you've already committed to. That's contradictory: being fair and studying both sides means that you refrain from committing your ego and identity until you fully understand the debate. Beyond that, it's a mistake to commit your ego and identity to...

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Are analysts called analysts because something went wrong in their anal phase? Winner "Funniest Question of Jan 28" :)

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$3.69 for a Vanilla Latte. Is Starbucks just that good... or completely over rated? I think it's just the "Law of Diminishing Returns on Quality". A $500 stereo is pretty darn good. A $1000 stereo isn't twice as good. To get significantly better than the $1000 stereo, you have to go to $5000. At some point, you gotta just look at your wallet and say "how much do I want that extra goodness?"

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Is this for real? Maybe. I like to say there's two aspects to "reality": there's "here it is", and "what is it?". "Here it is" means "reality is immediately present, it's just this here-and-now presence. We experience it directly and without mediation, there's no question about it's realness". This is the "absolute"...

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Do you think there are people on AB, who are too quick to comment of peoples grammer and spelling mistakes, without acknowledging that they may be people who suffer from learning difficulties or dyslexia, e.t.c.? In California, there's a law that says you have to wear a seatbelt, but the police can't stop you just for that reason. If they stop you for some other violation, they can cite you for a seat belt. That's how I approach the grammar and spelling of other users sometimes -- if I have a good reason to answer the question or comment on their answer, I may touch on the spelling or...

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I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am also a recovering alchocoholic. I am on meds but I have alienated everyone with this disease. I want to move closer to my grandchildren but scared I will let them down. Any advice? I am very alone without them. My suggestion is to take up meditation. The daily discipline to practice awareness helps to work through anxiety, and having deeper understanding of yourself can help with depression. If you have grandchildren, you're no longer a Spring chicken: it's time to start getting serious about the "big questions" in life -- "who am I?", "what is really...

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What would you get if you combined Scientology with Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church? A brood of inbred Thetans.

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I wrecked our car door mirror on the garage door - if you were my partner would you go nuts about this? Probably not, I generally take a deep breath and try to remember that life itself provides most of the lessons for the people in my world. Usually they beat themselves up enough to provide the necessary correction :)

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I found out my man of 5 yrs. has cheated on me we have 2 kids together. How do I cope with this I can't eat, sleep, I keep throwing up if I try eating. He didn't wear protection and it happened in our home. I can't believe he would deceive me. Help Me I'm sorry about your situation, that's very hard! There's a couple of different things to bear in mind as a practical matter: - Often when some trauma like this comes into life, it interferes with your ability to function and do ordinary things. That's understandable -- you're very upset. It helps to learn to focus on here-and-now so that you can operate...

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How can I go to sleep and dream about something I want to dream about? Yep, of course it's about sex! To heck with trains and tunnels! I want the real thing!! "Lucid dreaming" is the phrase for what you want -- being able to control your dreams while dreaming. Many people have had lucid dreaming experience (including me) -- there's an awareness that you're dreaming, and the ability to direct the general flow of the dream, but not all of the details. Some people have invested a lot of effort into developing their ability to...

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Some of the letters printed on the keys of my keyboard are gone, and many others are disappearing too. What could be the cause of this, and what should I do to stop it? Keyboards are manufactured in an alternate dimension of reality to save costs -- basically in the Z-Theta Dimension (ZT dimension), labor costs about 1/3 as much as it does in ours. However, parts can be hard to come by in ZT dimension, in particular complex polymers such as the plastics in keyboards are unavailable entirely, and the ink used to impress the letters is likewise difficult to...

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When someone commits a crime, how concerned about his or her rights do you think our legal system should be? We need to strike a balance between protecting the rights of the accused and allowing the law to be enforced and justice to be administered. Currently in the U.S., I think we do a reasonable job of striking that balance, given the complexity of some cases. There are no easy solutions which can be universally applied, which is why the law is complicated, and why judges require lots of...

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Do you find that some people give what I call "Dr. Phil answers", meaning they give some deep answer that doesn't really answer the question and everybody laps it up? Oh yes, I love giving those kind of answers (although I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil). Usually I do it when I think that the conventional answers to the question don't really make any difference -- i.e. they're too superficial, the question itself has some hidden or defective assumptions, etc. I don't know that people "lap it up"... often I find it just thumps...

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Every job interview I've ever been on they've always asked, "what is your worst quality?" You're supposed to answer "I work too hard," which I hate. What do you say? Actually, you're supposed to be honest. So the answer will vary for each individual. While it's true that sometimes you can get short-term gains by pretending, in general a job interview goes better if you're being yourself -- that's what is most likely to help you "connect" with the interviewer(s), and that connection is worth about 10 times more than a...

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Is having a born again missionary as President a violation of church-state separation? The separation of church and state is a tricky thing, just like the separation of anything from any of it's close neighbors -- all the sewer lines and gas lines intertwine, you can't REALLY get them entirely separated. Human beings get elected, and human beings often have religious convictions. What should we do, remove the human beings? Obviously not. What the principle of...

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When did telling the truth become less important than not offending people? Both are important. The only way to know which one is more important in any given situation is to be in that situation, with full awareness of the details, and a lack of self-centered interest to distort the judgment, and a depth of maturity and experience to draw on to make good choices. It's never as simple as "you should always do X".

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I have a hindu partner he wants to go back to india to get married does anyone know what kind of reception im going to get when i grt there? Talk to AntigoneRising, who has been through this exact scenario... post a comment on one of her threads with a link back to this question: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=43922

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What were the two questions believed to be asked of a person when entering heaven according to ancient Egyptian beliefs? 1. Were you important enough to get a pyramid? 2. Is there anything of value left in your pyramid?

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Restraining order trickery I am going through a divorce with a woman that I was only married to for a couple of months. She called, wanted money. I refused, she got restraining order, she's lying! Help! Hmmm... what is the restraining order restraining you from? What do you want to do that the judge thinks is a no-no?

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Have you read other users comment threads and wondered, what the hell is going on here? Usually I think that when I read my own comments.

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Duz n-e 1 type english gud n-e moor? <--- Does this type of communication bother you? If it actually comes in a text message from a phone that's difficult to type on, it doesn't bother me. If somebody has access to a full keyboard and does this, that's a different matter.

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How do I implement queue, circular queue, priority queue with C programming? On Answerbag, your inquiry needs to be in the form of a question. If you're asking us to write implementations of all these queues for you, you can probably forget it -- but we can provide helpful tips if you struggle with the problem yourself first and ask specific questions.

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Do guys not understand that them calling numerous times a day is not attractive (to try to go out on a date)? And there's a joke about women calling a lot... The guys who understand this don't do it :)

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When you see someone writing or typing the word "school" as "skool" do you think they need a little more time in school or do you think they are cool, or do you think they think they are being cool? I think they think that others of their peer group will think they're uncool if they spell it the conventional way. Nothing succeeds like fear of being different.

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How do you personally feel about this generation of teenagers and the direction that they're headed in? How have things differed from when you were growing up- for the better or worse? I haven't noticed anything unusual: each generation is smarter than the previous one, until they become the previous one and have to pay the mortgage :)

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Why are some people negative on you, because you don't share the same opinion? Are they close minded, or just think you only have a right to an opinion if it agrees with theirs? Everyone has a right to their opinion, of course. Usually these arguments go something like this: X: "I believe in A" Y: "That's wrong, A is false" X: "Why are you insulting me?" Y: "I'm not insulting you. I challenged your claim that A is true" X: "Well you're stupid, and your mother knits badly with cheap...

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What are the requirements besides money for buying a house? Someone teach me Well there's no other requirement: if you have the money, you can buy a home (in the U.S., anyway... some countries have rules about WHO can own property, such as foreign nationals). But if you don't have the money all ready in cash, as most people don't... then you have to borrow it. And things get sticky. In the U.S., most lenders want to see approximately the following:...

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"Forewarned is fore-armed" Given the current climate in AB, is anyone plannning on going East Coast-al Postal at the NY AB Convention? ;) < the previous version of this answer was deemed to snarky by the author, and he lacks the cleverness to provide a decent replacement >

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Is it true that mediocrity always tries to down superiority? Usually. But there's a rare wrinkle: when mediocrity recognizes itself, and stops wriggling around trying to escape that recognition, it can accept it's own state and suddenly appreciate superiority. Ironically, the mediocrity disappears at that moment.

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I have severe foot cramps. I've tried to flex my foot, but as soon as I let go my toes start to spread again. Sometimes if I can't get the pain to stop, it starts moving to the top of my foot and up my shins. It makes me cry sometimes! Please help! Take calcium supplement tablets daily, and stay well hydrated (drink plenty of water). Don't forget about your doctor either, does he or she know?

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Don't you think the members of this website are hypocrites? Well I can speak for myself -- I consistently fail to live up to my own ideals and values, and yet I regularly criticize others for the same mistakes. So yeah, I guess so... I'm a member, that qualifies in your survey set, yes? In my defense, I do keep trying to get better about this. It looks like a long road. Check back in 40-50 years and I think I'll have it worked out.

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What's the difference between being polite to someone you don't like and being two-faced? Where do you draw the line? So let's say Mr. X shows up in my world, and I've got a judgment about him... "he's too pushy". So there's a conflict here between my idea of what honesty is ("I should tell him what I really think") and my ideas about courtesy and getting along with others ("If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all...") The...

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What is the point of mosh pits? How do you think mosh trees get their start?

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Does anyone else think that Harry Potter is the reason for everything wrong in this country?? It is his fault we have witches and fags!! Um... is there something in the water today?

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In Greek mythology, Oedipus, after realising that he'd done the nasty with his mother, put both his own eyes out. Why is the act of blinding so closely linked with castration? ....

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Wikipedia states that Fred Phelps does not permit members of the Westboro Baptist Church to marry persons outside the church. In your opinion, does that make this group a cult? Well if it's not a cult, it will be a distinct species of human in a few generations -- probably something with long fangs and low cognitive function. You can only stretch a small, sick pool of DNA so far before it breaks.

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Would you watch "Answerbag", the reality show? Watch it? I'm stuck acting in episode #11 forever...

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Do you like helping people? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I do find it helps me to get my attention off of my own problems, and that's a useful thing. Whether or not I actually do any good is questionable sometimes -- it can be very hard to tell whether my efforts are making a difference. But I still think it's something you just have to keep plugging away at, whether you feel like it or not.

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Is there some sort of glitch in AB? I just noticed on my summary where it tells you how long ago someone commented answered or rated one of your questions or answers that the time is being given in negative seconds. What's up with that? It's most likely a new bug introduced during the upgrade.

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Everyone dislikes something; even hate sometimes. What do you hate? (Please don't answer with "I don't hate . . . ." Just don't answer If you really feel that way .) People who gossip and judge other's lives, especially when it's based on misinformation and distortions heard in the grapevine, and repeated out of earshot of the victims. To double the disgust, don't bother to check the facts with the subject of the gossip, don't have the courage to confront them and say "this is what I heard, what do you say about it?" Sort...

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Would you like to congratulate Da ben dan on being the newest Guru to AB? Way to go Da ben dan, good job! Yes, of course!

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Who is the most self centered, greedy,selfish, lying hypocrite, conniving female presidential candidate you can think of? I'm not a fan of Hilary Clinton, but if you think this question constitutes legitimate political debate you're very wrong. People who make this kind of statement are doing more harm to their cause than good, because the hidden message is "I have to rely on personal insults, I can't deal with the issues". It suggests weakness of position.

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Do you believe that as a member of this site it is partly your responsibility to suggest ways to improve it? Or are you just along for the ride, so-to-speak. No criticism here..just curious whether you take an active role in trying to make it better. I don't think it's my responsibility to make suggestions for improvement, I make suggestions because I enjoy Answerbag and have personal interest in having it be as good as it can be. That's not the same as "it's my job" or "I'm obliged". I think the most important way anybody can contribute is by being themselves. That includes "help...

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Is regret a useful emotion? Yes, as long as it doesn't become stuck. This is true for any emotion. Regret is our recognition of mistakes made, of opportunities missed, etc. It's a healthy thing in the proper dosage. If we're incapable of regret, something's broken -- perhaps a heavy layer of self-deception prevents us from seeing that we missed the ball. On the other hand, if we settle into...

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Was President George W Bush correct when he said, ""I know man and fish can co-exist peacefully"? Yeah, as long as they know their place. Don't slime us, we won't slime you -- same thing with any foreigners.

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Do you know anyone who reminds you of the Captain in "Caine Mutiny.".who believes people are conspiring against him/her? I had a boss like that, and whenever two people got together to discuss a business issue he believed they were talking about him! :( Yes, I know someone like that. I also know some folks who HAVE conducted such conspiracies, and have hidden out behind innuendo and veiled references that they know only "insiders" can interpret. But they always mess up and leave a trail of connections that can be pieced together by professionals, if someone is committed enough. The conspiracy business is a fascinating business.

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Unless you are a perfect individual, it is wise to tread cautiously when you fling accusations at others. Do you agree? Very excellent advice. As is "let's all take our own advice".

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Which do you have the most of, questions without answers, or answers without points? I have 47 pages of answers on my profile, about 7 pages contain nothing but 0-point answers. There's 75 answers per page, so that's a lot. ( I checked the other day, in response to a question on that topic) I have about 30 questions, I think they all have at least one answer.

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How do I setup wireless internet service at my home without using a router & my pc is wifi setup already? You can use a "wireless access point" instead of a router, but I suspect that's not the answer you really want. You need some device which will forward the wired signals onto the airwaves. Normally, that's a wireless router. If you already have a wired router, you can use a WAP to do this "echoing" of the network traffic to the wireless domain. My suspicion...

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Do you assume the moral authority to judge what is right and 'wrong'? Yes, of course. Who else would I look to? The temptation is strong to look to others for this basic function, and many do -- allowing the habitual and often unthinking presumptions of society or their local culture to tell them what should be considered wrong and what should be considered right. There's a place for that, but an adult needs to grow beyond it and locate the universal...

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How to make $ 1 Billion within 1 year? Making your first billion is always difficult, but they say the second billion is a lot easier. So I suggest you start with the second billion to speed things up.

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Do you have the tiniest bit of racism in you? explain why or why not. Absolutely I'm racist. I have all the same automatic reactions to other races that many "bigots" have. There's no denying it. This is a result of conditioning. When I was growing up, I heard and read things about people of other races, and those experiences burned perceptions into my brain at a very low level, which still play back today. I would be very...

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What do you think of posting too many questions welcoming new users?I want to welcome my new friend Vignesh to AB.Please do join me ONLY if you like. I think it's a good thing to welcome new users. It's common for new users to feel like they've entered an exclusive club -- everybody talks to the people they know, and often fails to include newcomers. It's understandable that we prefer to hang out with our friends than people we don't know, but it's also good to remember that each of us were once new and...

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Gossip is defined as "idle talk or rumor". So if what you are discussing is absolutely true, how can it be gossip? - If it doesn't concern you, and is private information about the lives of others. Spreading this around: even if it's partially true, is quite damaging and despicable. - If you haven't bothered to check your facts with the parties involved. - If you don't know the whole story about the matter. - If your own motives are self-centered and you're only seeking...

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I think it is much better to be considered ignorant by keeping silent than to open your mouth and prove it. What do you think? Generally yes. Good advice for all of us.

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For all the divorced ABers out there: What kind of relationship do you still have with your ex? Which one?

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What is love? I don't. I don't define love, or beauty, or vitality, or generosity, or any other truly fundamental, radiant quality. Why? Because definitions by their very nature CONFINE something... the draw the boundary between that thing and the rest of life. But these qualities are inherently boundless... they spill out of their containers and flow out into all the cracks and corners of...

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How do you stop your family members from trying to shove their religion down your throat when you don't believe in it? Ideally you would establish boundaries in a way that's gracious and helps them to learn something about what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. But that's a long shot for most of us. So I think the place to start is with "boundaries". Everybody has certain rights to protect a bit of personal territory, and religion is one of those areas. Your family does not...

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I have a Dell Inspiron 6000. When I use only the battery, the screen is much harder to see then when on AC. This just started happening. Any suggestions? There are BIOS settings which control the brightness level on battery vs. utility power. The screen uses a LOT of power. It's best to reduce brightness when you're running from batteries to lengthen the battery time available. I don't know your particular Dell model, but on mine you hold down the Fn key and press the up/down arrows to adjust the brightness. You can...

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I failed to mention that the beeping sound is not coming from the computer. It is either the battery backup or the Belkin surge master UPS (battery backup) systems will often beep for a number of reasons, including low input voltage, overload, low battery, etc. I've never heard of a surge protector beeping at anybody.

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How should rude personal questions/comments best be handled? I am going to have a breast augmentation - how should I answer people who mention or ask about this? It depends on your personality and what you feel comfortable with. Responses can range from simple silence (refusing to respond) to self-deprecating wisecracks to politely declining to talk about it. It's your body, nobody else has any business asking that kind of personal question. Ideally, your response would both protect your privacy and educate the other person graciously. But...

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Have you seen the movie JUNO? If you have, what did you think of it? I saw it, I liked it. It's clever, touching, and fun.

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Who sang "I can't tell you why" by the eagles? Timothy B. Schmidt.

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Ever get the feeling someone's stuck on repeat? (false prophets or not) Yeah, I did get that feeling.

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A stranger just come to my house to ask for donation. I politely ask him to find others in my housing area. After a few minutes, he left (looks angry). Have I done anything wrong? Certainly you have a right to decline without feeling guilty -- solicitors are intruding on YOUR space and time uninvited, they don't have any right to expect you to make a donation. But I would avoid telling them what to do: rather than "find others in my housing area", a simple "no thank you" does the trick. The trouble with the suggestion is that it's just...

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When your hard drive is beginning to go..does your computer act like it has a virus? I have done multiple scans/defrags etc. and my computer still freezes and acts odd at times..I know that I have no infections...could I need a new hard drive? It's possible, but the more likely explanation is problems with software or memory. Windows is notorious for needing to be "repaved" periodically -- i.e. reinstalled from scratch. As time goes by, you download and install more software which hooks itself into low levels of the operating system, and that software accumulates "state" (files, registry settings, etc),...

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Your worst enemy, someone you despise for good reasons, has crashed and you're the first person there. Do you still help, do you put the past behind you and be the good person? Or do you look the other way? My worst enemies seem to be enemies for fairly good reasons -- I've made some nasty missteps. Pulling them from the crash would be a privilege... they may not forgive, but I would have one less regret.

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My boyfriends roommate/ bandmate/ friend isnt paying the bills on time and my boyfriend is a nonconfrontational guy, what is a polite way to say "pay me now"? There's a balance that needs to be struck between polite and firm, and that balance is different for every situation. Usually what I do is start very nice, and then crank up the firm until I find a point where results get produced. That takes time and patience (and restraint). For people who are naturally "nice", they may have to work harder at "cranking up the...

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What do you think of the present day habit of children, sons-in-laws and daughters-in-laws calling their elders, aunts, & uncles by their first name instead of Mr., Mrs., Aunt or Uncle? Whatever happened to manners? Etiquette, like all social customs, changes over time. There are forces of change, and there are forces of stability, and there's a tension between these two. That's a normal, healthy "ecosystem" for society -- change is allowed, but not out-of-control. Questions like "whatever happened to manners" are like the control rods in a nuclear reaction -- they...

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Can you move out at 17 and have a job and go to school and if your parents call the cops on you. can you take them to court to testify and live out on your own ithe state of ohio at 17 The word you're looking for is "emancipation" -- that's what it means when a child lives on their own. I don't know the law in Ohio, but knowing that word will help you google the question. In some states, young people CAN emancipate from their parents if they can demonstrate an ability to care and provide for themselves. Your best bet is to see an attorney who...

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I cheated. My girlfriend broke up with me. It was stupid. I'm a jerk. I need her. What can I do? Trust is one of those things that's pretty hard to repair when it gets broken. Not impossible, but difficult. Forgiveness isn't complicated, but it can be hard to come by -- and even if she forgives you there's still the trust issue. So this one may be gone. I dunno (really, nobody knows, not even you or she). Do your best to communicate honestly with her, but...

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Why is homosexuality accepted in Buddhism, while it is not in most religions? Buddhism doesn't invest itself heavily in "behavioral rules" drawn from cultural taboos. There are "precepts" -- general guidelines for ethical behavior, but one of the most fundamental principles in Buddhism is that the truth cannot be reduced to a set of ideas or rules, so the emphasis on rules is correspondingly missing. The precept on sex in Buddhism is...

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A study by two nonprofit journalism orgs found that President Bush/top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the '01 terrorist attacks. Should he be prosecuted? This is serious enough to deserve a link, I think. Nobody expects politicians not to lie, really. But we need to keep doing the watchdog stuff so that there's some possibility of consequences as a deterrent. Certainly if the charges are substantiated it makes sense to take legal action.

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What do you think are the responsabilities of citizens? What are the responsabilities of the government? First: the word is spelled "responsibility". At a minimum, citizens are responsible for being informed and aware -- engaging with the process of government so that they can be in a position to make intelligent choices about their representatives, vote well on issues, and speak out clearly when speaking out is needed. Government is responsible for doing it's job of...

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If you don't think enough people hate you, is it OK to juice the numbers by hating yourself? Excessive self-hate and excessive self-love are both suffering from the same disease: excess and self-centeredness. When I think everybody hates me, I try to remind myself that I'm probably not the center of their lives. Same thing when I think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. We're all just people, with strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is so all-fired important...

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Let's see if we can lighten things up: What about being LGBT do you love, or what about your LGBT friends do you love? My LGBT friends are often more courageous than most people, because of what they've had to go through. They also tend to know themselves better than most, perhaps because of all the soul-searching needed to buck the current of public opinion? I don't know. I'm not gay, but I wonder if I were... would I have that kind of courage?

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Devil's adocate question: The South Koreans, US, & allies repelled aggression in the Korean War and saved the South from N. Korea's fate, so why was it a bad idea for the US to have gotten involved in Viet Nam? The Vietnam war took place in a context of a global division between communism and capitalism: a mindset which divided up the world into "us" and "them", and was dead set on preventing "them" from adding any more people or territory to their corral. It really had little to do with an interest in Vietnam per se, we didn't go in there because we cared about...

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Is abortion wrong? It's not a black-and-white issue. Abortion gets increasingly wrong as the fetus develops. By the time the 3rd trimester arrives, I really can't think of any combination of circumstances which would override the right of the baby to live. What makes people crazy about this topic is that we tend to think in "binary" terms about all moral issues: something is either right...

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What is one INTERESTING thing about yourself that most people can't say about themselves? I can frighten children by turning my eyelids inside out. It's like a built-in Halloween costume.

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Is it the responsibility of the Community Leaders to be consistently polite, helpful & diplomatic towards others & to refrain from becoming rude/snarky if their take on AB "etiquette" is questioned? Responsibility? No. Recommendation? Yes. It's hard being consistently anything and still being a regular user, let alone a CL. If a CL has to be perfect all the time we need something other than humans. But a CL should try to restrain their irritation, and recuse themselves from acting against a user when they can see that their dislike will distort their judgment.

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What are the mechanisms employed by the staff to make sure that Community Leaders don't abuse their powers? I'm not saying that CLs do abuse their powers (I don't wanna be in their shoes, tough job), I'm just wondering. Thanks. - The moderation activities of CL are reviewed by staff, just like any other user flags. - When a CL pboxes a user, it's reviewed by staff. - Other users complain to staff when they have disputes with CLs. The staff pay attention and watch for patterns. When I was a CL, I definitely felt the obligation to be restrained, and often would recuse myself from dealing with someone if I...

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Will you join me in saying a "Well, ain't you super duper special" to Someguy for somehow attaining Sage, though Lord knows he doesn't need his good ol' boy ego inflated anymore than it already is.......;) I'm genetically incapable of saying 'super duper' without a smirk, but I'm happy to congratulate Someguy the old fashioned way :)

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If you are not an a-hole, does being around a-holes make you feel uncomfortable? A-holes make me very uncomfortable. I'm not comfortable declaring others to be A-holes without doing a thorough self-inspection first... and I have a hard time being that thorough. So I guess I'll defer to those who know with absolute certainty who the A-holes are.

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Do You Think Health Care Should Be Free In The USA? And If So How Could It Be Funded? Free? No. Universal? Yes. That is, I think... at a minimum... all citizens and legal U.S. residents should have access to health care they can afford. Why? Simply because it's the civilized and humanitarian thing to do. The goal of life is to make things better, to alleviate suffering, to make the most of the possibilities we're afforded. This is a step in that direction. ...

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I have to debate with some high school students tomorrow. Should I a) treat them like my equals and try to rip them apart b) go easy on them c) intentionally lower my diction and talk down to them to fluster them. My professor suggested (c) What do you want to accomplish? If you want to prove your manhood, (a) or (c) make sense. If you want to avoid contributing anything useful to their development, (b) sounds good. If you want to do something worthwhile, I think you'll need a fourth option... perhaps "challenge your opponents in a way which calls for their best efforts, without attempting to overwhelm or...

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Even in chaos there is order...do you agree? Oh, the yin and yang thing. Yeah. What does it mean again? Something about the interdependence of opposites. And impurity. Lemme see, I always gotta figure it out on the fly, because I forget easily... There's no good without evil. Why? Because good has no meaning without the polarity good/evil which discriminates between the two. Up has no meaning without down. Same idea....

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How can i get superpowers? You can have mine. I haven't used them since messing up Tom Cruise's brain -- I had no idea what the red button would do, really.

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Is there any religion that has a belief system in which there is is no superior being, basically a religion without faith? Well, you have a couple of distinct things mashed together: - It's possible to have faith without having a superior being. - It's possible to have a religion without having a belief system. - It's possible to have faith without a belief system or religion. So if you refined your question to "is there a religion which doesn't feature a superior being",...

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How to retaine my maidden name after divorce? In California, there's a box that gets checked on the divorce petition to restore the woman's maiden name. If it's not checked, you can file an amendment. I suspect other states have similar practices.

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What is existentialism? To understand existentialism, it's best to start with atheism. If there's no God, where does the meaning of our lives come from? The existentialist's answer is essentially "there's no meaning until YOU define it"... i.e. you are responsible for self-generating a meaningful life. Thus anybody who's looking "out there" trying to find the meaning...

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Ok I have had a gut full of the D/Ring trolls here on AB , I think its about time we DID scrap the minus points from AB as they serve no purpose at all except give the trolls ammunition..lets cut the trolls of at the knee's ..what do u think? I gave up participating in these arguments about a year ago, having heard all sides several dozen times. So why should I perk up again? I dunno... slow news day, I guess. But here's my approach to the topic: I turn off the ratings checkbox. I don't see the ups, or the downs. I care about comments, period. That one little step made life significantly more pleasant. Before...

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In 2004, an inhabitant of a planet orbiting a distant star observes the flash of the first nuclear explosion on Earth, which occurred in July 1945. Approximately how far away is his solar system from Earth? 59 light years.

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Forgive me if this seems daft but as i ive i the UK, no-one seems to know. If Hilary Clinton wins the race for President. What will Bill be known as, obviously not the first lady, and first husband doesnt seem right as its not the first wife So........? I believe the constitution says he'll be called "Second Bill"

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I had a legitimate and intelligent question flagged as "Nonsense", simply because the person disagreed with my viewpoints. I was respectful at all times. Does not Answer bag welcome open and spirited debate? (The flagger purports to be open minded). How do you know who flagged it? Did they admit to flagging it?

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Beauty is in the eye of: a) The plastic surgeon. b) The beer holder. c) The beholder. d) Culture. e) Other. Please explain. .... Which answer do you most agree with and why? Damn, girl... pick an easier question! :) The nature of beauty has been debated for many centuries. It's a topic with a lot of different aspects. I don't think there's any simple, single answer... but there is an answer I like best: beauty is that which resonates with wholeness. Resonance is what happens when you pluck the E string on a guitar, and the A below it...

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I've got the song "Lets Get Physical", sung by Olivia Newton John in my head. I don't want it there. Would you replace that song with another or just wait for it to go away like hiccups? Fine. Take "Muskrat Love", please. 3 minutes is too long for that thing. I've been suffering for 3 days.

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GLBT. I have become friendly with a gay guy at the pub He's sweet but says things like " I'm as queer as a 3 dollar bill" & "I hate fags". Isn't he insulting himself? I did say that I will hurt him if he says it again 2 him it's funny, to me its not He's making the classic comedian's mistake of not knowing his audience, that's all. It's "self-deprecating" humor. I often make fun of Zen and Buddhists, it's an easy target -- who knows how to zing the party members more than one of their own? Does that mean I don't respect my own discipline? No, it's just a matter of not taking myself so...

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What do you do if you want to talk to someone but dont know how ( dont know what to say)? Conversation is an art, but not everybody is an artist. Most of us can develop our skills though, even if we have to start with paint-by-numbers. Like anything, practice is crucial. Fortunately, you can practice on anybody -- it doesn't have to be the person who you're most concerned about. Some general guidelines: 1- Be interested. This really should be repeated about...

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Do you think it possible to ever look at anything through someone else's eyes or is it always through the lens of self-interest? Yes, it's possible to shift from a self-centered perspective and see from other views. That's a basic cognitive skill that begins at about age 7. Jean Piaget is famous for his work with child development, and one of the important stages he identified is when a child can "take the role of the other" -- i.e. shift the way they think about something so that they can...

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My Fiance never wants me to hang out with her and her friends when they go out, but if we are going to my cabin or out on my boat, she wants to invite them.im all for a girls nights but isnt there somthing wrong with this? If it's a problem for you, it's a problem. But don't look for others to tell you whether she's right or wrong to do what she's doing -- instead, focus on trying to find a policy that works for both of you. First, you need to know exactly what your concern is -- what do you want that you're not getting from her? More time alone? Do you feel like she's...

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Okay i know i shouldn't have (but i was stressed not that that's an excuse) And I had one of my brothers cigarettes. Do they always make you so dizzy? If so i am never smoking again. Yes, if you keep smoking your head will eventually fall off, your arms will shrivel up, and your legs will become as stiff as baseball bats. When you walk, it will look like the Headless Horseman enlisted in the Gestapo after being caught in a paper shredder. Better to stay away from the smokes, kid!

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What is your opinion on a husband that will not take his wife's last name? I think that's entirely her choice to make. I might express a preference, but that would be the end of it if she wants to keep her own name.

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You are a loyal friend. You defend your friend against an apparent onslaught. Along the way you discover that your friend is not entirely in the right..do you back off, apologize, keep on defending no matter what, or do you want it to just go away? It depends on the details of the situation. In general, I try to be "surgical" in my defense of the friend -- to defend only the things I think deserve defense in principle, rather than simply taking the blanket position "my friend is right because they're my friend". Likewise, if I realize my friend is wrong about something, I may challenge them on that particular...

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My laptop is refusing to connect, so I'm using the main computer, I'm not happy because I'm uncomfy but also.... I CAN'T COMMENT. I love commenting :( Is there anything I can do? It won't let me see comment threads either. All you have to do is log in properly on the main computer. Your AB account isn't "stored" on your computer, it's stored on the server. You can access it from any computer if you log in.

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Does anyone know how I can adjust browser so I can "see all comments" I only get the last 3 com. The 'Read all comments" tab doesn't work Yes, just click on the "Permalink" next to each answer. That takes you to a full-page view of just the answer in question.

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Is knowledge knowable? if not, how do we know this? I think this is a great question. It's the core of "epistemology" (the philosophy of knowledge). I can sort-of summarize my view as follows: there's immediate knowledge and then there's conceptual knowledge. They're different, and have different characteristics: Immediate knowledge is "that which is right in front of your face right now". That...

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The lead singer of 'stone roses' has just berated 'kylie' about her music and talent, the last time I checked she has out sold them by 1000 to 1 in record sales and has 50 or so gold and platinum records as well, jealousy or what? I don't know either of these artists, I'm not much in touch with music recorded after about 1980! But I think it's a poor idea for one artist to berate another in public, and I think it's a poor idea to imagine that popularity equals quality. The subject of artistic criticism is very deep, I think: what makes one piece of work "better" than another? The...

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My daughter lives in Ohio. She has two young children. The father and her are not married. She wants to move here to Arizona with the children . Can she leave and come here without permisson of a court? Can the father stop her from moving here? She can move without permission of the court, but he can go to court and cause problems for that plan. Being married isn't relevant -- he's the father and retains parental rights. The court will try to work it out so that both parents can be involved in the children's lives, etc., and there's a certain risk to the strategy of moving without his permission. But as a...

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The whole point of the "unsubscribe" button is to opt out of a comment thread in which you are no longer interested. So, if you don't opt out, and you criticize those who are participating, doesn't that seem a bit selfish to you? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes no. It depends on a lot of things. Sometimes I've written a serious answer on a topic I care about, and really want to engage with others in the comment thread. Then if two or more people turn it into a "how was your ham sandwich" conversation that goes on for 3 days, it is quite annoying. They've hijacked the thread to give themselves a...

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Do you get annoyed when ABers use the comment 'section' to chat? I think it's amusing. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes no. It depends on a lot of things. Sometimes I've written a serious answer on a topic I care about, and really want to engage with others in the comment thread. Then if two or more people turn it into a "how was your ham sandwich" conversation that goes on for 3 days, it is quite annoying. They've hijacked the thread to give themselves a...

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What does a Category Expert do? Just hang out and count the flowers thrown at their feet :) It's pretty much an honorary position. No pay.

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How is it that ethnic cleansing, genocide and various other crimes against humanity can take place in Africa on a regular basis without any intervention from the west? In general, nations put most of their military energy into things which protect their interests. It doesn't appear that episodes like the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 have much impact on our national interests, so we pay them only token attention. There was lots of hand-wringing after the Rwanda massacre in the West: lots of leaders swore that the world must act in the future, and never...

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Do men in the real world really see women as a piece of meat? or do they actually care about who she is regarding personality and character? Yes to both. There's more than one way a man can look at a woman, and it's harder than you might think to remember that an attractive woman is also a complete human being, because the biological reaction arises very quickly, and often without awareness. But most men can also recognize that there's more than just that one dimension to a woman... and even when we don't,...

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Who named Spam�? The luncheon meat that is. Spam is a registered trademark of the Hormel company. They are NOT happy about their product name becoming synonymous with unwanted commercial e-mail! It supposedly means "Shoulder of pork and ham", from what I heard. Spam (the e-mail) got it's start from the Monty Python skit in which a restaurant guest is offered various breakfast menu items which all include obscene...

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I just realized that i am dating a complete mama's boy. How do i approach him about the subject without him getting completely upset? You don't. What does it mean that he's a "mama's boy"? That's a label, a judgment. You can't correct a label, there's nothing to grab on to. What' is actually going on? What is the exact behavior(s) that you've observed? Let go of the labeling and focus on what he's doing -- or not doing. Make a list if possible, leave out the...

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My computer sometimes screws up with my taskbar all weirding out. Course its Vista, have they released any patches? There is a service pack on the way. But the best patch is still known as "Windows XP".

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My 16 year old daughter is in love. Should I let him live? It's like that John Cusack line in <insert name of movie here>: "Have her home by 10. I have a shotgun and a shovel, I don't think you'll be missed". Seriously, though -- she's growing up and has to start making more of her own choices -- and living with the consequences. There's a difference between guiding and controlling a teenager. But...

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My fiance and I are trying to budget. I am financially stable. He is not. He is in debt; can't even pay to finish his last year of college. He gives his mom $ for rent (he lives with me and my parents). He thinks I have not right to disagree with this You should post an answer to your question with more details, this isn't enough information to be workable.

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When did yellow tennis balls come out? When they got sick and tired of living a lie. I think it was around '78.

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Does it bother you that hundreds of people read your answers and thousands more will in the future? Ha! It's hard enough to get two people to read them! Lets not overestimate our popularity.

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Does grandparent rights exist in the state of Georgia? Only if parental rights have been adjusted by the court somehow. There's no inherent right of grandparents anywhere in the U.S. with regard to their grandchildren.

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My wife and my combined income just went about 10 dollars over the magic line that liberals (John Edwards for one) use to draw a distinction between "Hard Working Americans" and "The Rich". Why do is still feel I am working hard? :-) Is there any question you ask which isn't about trying to pick a fight with others?

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I am in a relationship and its good and healthy and my lady is great (not perfect). However, I find myself checking out women everywhere I go. It is almost automatic for me to look for beautiful females. What is wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with you, you're male. You're wired up to respond to females. What matters is the choices you make, and your level of authenticity about the matter. If you can tell the truth to yourself and others about it, and restrain yourself from acting on those impulses, you're doing as well as anybody can ask.

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If a talking (insert your name here) doll were made, what phrases would it say? 1- "Every silver lining has it's cloud" 2- "It's not who you know that matters, it's what you have on them" 3- "There are no bad attitudes, just some that haven't had enough love" 4- "When you're looking for who to blame, be sure to start with the mirror" 5- "It's your planet. If you see something you...

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Have a girlfriend who works @ a store. One day a slapped her ass and contantly stares at her chest. Apparently the guy left the job now. But she is still surrounded by guys. I insist her on quitting. Is this normal or paranoia? It's not your place to tell her where she can or can't work. It's fine to have an opinion about it, and try to be persuasive, but you need to know where the boundary is between sharing your opinion and being "controlling". She has to live her own life, make her own choices, and deal with the consequences. That's how life teaches us all. Bear that in mind when...

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My goddaughter who i told you about yesterday, the social want to take her into care until the investigation into her stepdad is over, i want to look after her as i dont want her being put with strangers, but they wont allow me to do it, what can i do? There isn't much you can do except be patient and supportive of the child. WARNING: Do not fight the social worker! This will not help the child, and you will probably lose unless you can afford lawyers. If possible, do your best to be helpful with the social worker -- understand that s/he has a tough job and has to follow certain guidelines. If you want to be the child's new...

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Do you think it is possible, not even likely, but just possible that the Bush administration will take military action against Iran? One thing I learned working in the asylum: never underestimate the kookiness of the kooks.

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How do i kick the crap out of this kid in my school who thinks he's so cool but the only reason he wins in fights is cuz' he cheats "Being a man" isn't about beating anybody up. It's about learning to restrain yourself.

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Taxes were taken out of my Roth IRA, how do I let IRS know that I paid this money when I file my return You'll get a form from the IRA administrator in January of next year. It has a note which says the information is also reported to the IRS.

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What is with all the "first thing that comes to mind" questions? Are people really that desperate to get points that they overplay a type of question just because they see others doing it? I really didn't like the idea of this category when I first heard of it... people need to think MORE about their postings, not less! But mostly what I've seen that I do think is mildly interesting is the word-association questions: e.g. "what's the first thing that comes to mind when I say 'love'", etc. These are mildly interesting, because the first...

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I am looking 4 a job & I called a customer to make sure that I could use him as a professional reference. My hubby found out & got furious. Was he out of line. The call was PURELY business & I have no interest in this man at all. Sounds like he was out of line. But, did you anticipate his reaction? If you knew he would be upset by this, you could have (perhaps) "immunized" the situation by letting him know about it in advance.

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How seriously do you take any online friendships that you've made? Pretty darn serious.

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Killing someone intentionally is considered murder. Therefore, aren't soldiers technically 'murderers'? The typical meaning of "murder" applies to acts done by an individual for their own gain or protection, i.e. a selfish act. Acts by the state (which include the acts of soldiers) aren't normally classified as murder, because they're done on behalf of the state. The moral questions surrounding a soldier's behavior aren't going to be solved by trying to tweak...

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How can i help my 13 year old granddaugher who lives alone with and practically cares for her crack addicted mother? Call child protective services (see your phone book for "child welfare" or "social services" agencies in your county). If you're the grandmother, there's a good chance that the child will be removed from her mother's care and given to a caring relative -- quite possibly YOU, if you're willing. You'll want to work with the social worker as...

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Give me word that ends in ness? Salamanderness

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It is often said "Do what you love, and the money will follow." What if you aren't really that passionate about anything in particular? First, it's good to be clear that this statement isn't necessarily true: just because you're doing what you love does not mean the money will follow. It's one of those comforting statements that can get people into big trouble. Money follows the perceived value of something within the local economic flow, it does not care a whit for what you love. Often if you do...

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With the 9/11 attacks and losses in Afghanistan and the never ending war in Iraq, is it safe to say that US is no longer a super power? The US spends more money on it's military than any other government in the world. I don't think superpower status is threatened. More importantly, I think we'd be wise to examine our craving for superpower status -- nothing wrong with wanting to be big and tough, but it does tend to make you a bit of a target for all the little wiry guys who want to prove how tough THEY...

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Is there a system on AB for rating Users' avatars? Some are really imaginative. No, but I once issued a bunch of awards for user avatars. Most of these people are no longer active on Answerbag: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/143355

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Did you know that there is a Category for you to use to post congratulatory posts? Yeah! Just for those Congratulation messages! Home » Categories » Answerbag » Users » Congratulating Answerbaggers Yes, I knew! Congratulations on discovering it!

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I FLAT IRON MY HAIR EVERYDAY AND NOW I HAVE ARTHRITIS, MY FATHER THINKS ALL THAT ENERGRY IN MY HEAD CAN CAUSE A DIEASE, IS THAT TRUE? That is VERY unlikely. Your hair straightener is just heating your hair, that isn't going to hurt your body.

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Who started answerbag? Answerbag was created by Joel Downs (his username is AB-Joel) back in 2003. His profile contains some basic information: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=4 The site is now owned by Demand Media, but Joel runs the day-to-day operations.

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A 70ft-tall plant that commits suicide when it blooms has been discovered in a remote region of Madagascar. Scientists are planning to grow it commercially. Would you buy it? Yeah, just what I need: depressed houseplants that punch holes in the roof before they kill themselves. Anything new in the perennials?

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I wish to be a talented programmer what are the languages i miust learn? C and C++ are the "lower level" core languages. Most other languages had at least their early interpreters and compilers written in C or C++. So a real geek needs to know these languages. Beyond that, there's a broad spectrum of languages which are helpful to have in your resume. And if you can master C++, no other language will seem intimidating. If you can't master...

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Why is there lasting animosity between some ABers? Especially some of the old-timers that know each other and should get along better? For the same reason resentments and grudges persist anywhere: it helps us preserve our identity. Let's say Mr. X insulted me. I reacted, I told him he was evil. But it's not just some incident that passes, is it? No, now I AM the viewpoint "Mr. X is Evil". That's who I am. It defines my identity, at least to some degree. So, I must hang on to that viewpoint....

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Gay bashing is wrong, no question. Its stupid. But why is okay to say anything you want about a Christian? Isn't this a double standard in tolerance? Not trying to be a jerk. There's more than two standards, there's dozens of standards, and they shift and change by year, but cultural subsegment, by region, age group, etc. It takes a lot of maturity and intelligence to criticize something fairly... it's not that easy to do well. The temptation to go overboard and generalize too much is very strong. Good criticism is like surgery: you need to...

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What's the real deal on the legality of the extremely cheap MP3 downloads from mp3fiesta.com? The prices on this web site seem too good to be true for DRM-free MP3s: http://www.mp3fiesta.com I did some googling, but wasn't able to get a definitive answer about whether this is legal stuff or not.

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What would happen if I took all those 'free' credit card offers and took out the max cash on all of them?.I could live like a king in Bolivia for the rest of my life.--sorta like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid. Don't forget how it ended.

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If we have free will, why must there be one true religion? can't we all get there our own way? Get where? Where is there to get to? Religions usually promise some sort of paradise -- some place after death, or after many lifetimes, etc., where you have no problems, there's no suffering, no pain, and everybody is happy and free. If there is such a place or state, obviously the question of "how do we get there?" is very important, and each religion has it's own...

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Do u know any female modern opera singers? I'm tryin to find a song that I heard recently on tv but don't remember the lyrics to? Our own Mrs. Mezzo is a real live, professional opera singer. Leave a comment on one of her answers and she'll eventually get back to you when she logs in: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=99004

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Why is it so hard to say i love you but so easy to say i hate you? "I hate you" separates you from others, leaving you with the illusion of being more in control, more independent, self-reliant, etc. It's like a caffeine high: cheap, quick, and not very thorough. "I love you" connects you with others, leaving you open and vulnerable, but with the opportunity to experience and channel the power of love into life. The "open...

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Mormonism teaches God has a body of flesh and bones and was once a man on another world. Is it Christian or not? Note: I'm not a Christian OR a Mormon. But I know something about semantics. There's no fixed, absolute definition of "Christian". In general public usage, it means something like "a person whose religious beliefs prominently feature Jesus of Nazareth in the explanation of personal salvation". That's pretty broad, and certainly it includes the Mormons....

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My car dealership messed up and mailed me my title, and im listed as the owner, but the bank is the lienholder. i would like to sell the car, am i able to transfer the title to some else, and after obtaining my credit report i, the loan was charged off You cannot transfer the title without getting the leinholder to sign off. Call the bank and explain the situation, they'll tell you how to resolve it.

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Are groups more productive than individuals in work settings? That depends on a lot of factors. Some jobs require more than one person. Others are done most efficiently by an individual. Often a team can get more work done per day, but with lower efficiency than an individual -- that is, the total cost in man-hours is higher, but the job gets done quicker. The inefficiency of a team generally arises from the communication overhead and incomplete...

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What's the weirdest song lyric from a Beatles' song? Gosh, that's a pretty large set of possibilities to choose from. How about: "Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away. Climb in the back with your head in the clouds and you're gone" - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds "4000 holes in Blackburn Lancashire... and though the holes were rather small... they had to count them all. And now they...

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My boss filled my w2 form when i started working for him and put me as married and with a dependent the problem i have is im not married and my son is also claimed by his dad. are we gonna get fined when we do our taxes? what do i do? No, you won't get fined. But you could end up owing a lot of tax. Only one parent can claim the child... you should have an agreement with the father about how that is going to work. Some couples alternate each year. The problem with your W2 is that you may not have had enough money withheld from your paycheck to cover your tax liability. That's not too unusual, it just means...

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How do i get my fiancee to talk about his past and about his feelings. i feel that he has had a lot of pain in the past and i want to be there for him but he wont open up to me. im really trying not to pry but i think it will help him get over this stuf Nobody likes to be therapized without their permission. Leave it alone, do your best to be yourself and be available. It's his job to sort out his past, and you may or may not be a big part of that process.

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I was arguing w/ a friend about US. He preaches "land of the free, home of the brave", US is better than ALL countries. I said it no longer stands for what it use to, as a whole we Americans are not globally respected and are quite ignorant. Thoughts? What do you think drives this kind of argument? Why does it become so adamant and (sometimes) nearly violent? What I mean is, what is the source of the extreme passion that tends to surface in an argument like this? Maybe the U.S. is the best country, maybe not -- a realistic assessment would need to measure a lot of different categories in an objective fashion, so that countries could...

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In Texas, USA: My neighbor has been parking their car directly in front of my house ever since I moved in. They have 4 vehicles and a boat. Do I have to put up with this legaly? Ah, yes... the endless challenges of discourteous neighbors! Legally, you're out of luck probably. Nobody owns the street. But there's another approach, which most people won't take -- because it requires a serious change of attitude: make friends with your neighbor FIRST. Say hi and wave when you see him. Take some cookies over for their family. Say something nice...

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Seperated, husband has new love, puts her first, kids suffer, now he wants to live with her,demands kids meet her, kids don;t want to, do they have to? Legally, he's still their parent, he still has parental rights, and is well within his rights to insist that they meet his new girlfriend. From a practical standpoint, it's not a good idea to force the kids into this, of course... but presumably he's not big on listening to your opinion about it, yes? In the end, though, it's probably in your best interest to support...

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We have evidence that our house is haunted. Since we just moved in, and logically they were likely there first, are we guests in their house? Depends on whether they're the creaky-doors type or the kidnap-your-daughter type. No to the former, yes to the latter.

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If you are drunk and kiss someone other than your spouse, stop the kissing, move back and tell the person kissing you to leave is that cheating, should you be forgiven after all it was not an affair just a momentary loss of judgement when drunk I suggest that you worry less about what to call it, and worry more about restraining your alcohol intake. Alcohol makes people do dumb things. It doesn't matter whether you call it flirting or cheating, it's clear that you want to avoid this kind of behavior in the future, and a good step toward that goal is to cut back on the drinking.

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Everyone the AB user Jae tao is being really annoying and ask stupid questions. If you see him ask a question can you give it negative points and comments? It isn't acceptable to criticize other users by name in a question on Answerbag. Your question has been flagged "offensive".

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I like a girl with a boyfriend. I am shy but will not give up on her. I do get depressed but still feel they will break up. In a way I feel like I deserve another try. I cant move on im not ready. Need some advice and what to do if they break up. This is not a good idea at all, sorry. You should move on. This one's taken. If you really care about her, support her CURRENT relationship. Wish them the best. That's the difference between being a man, and being a clingy child. Then, as a man, go find a woman who isn't taken. You'll find most girls prefer someone mature, confident, and independent, not...

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How do you cure self pity? The hard part to see about self-pity is that there's a "payoff": a subtle reward for hanging on to the destructive and debilitating "poor me" attitude. What could that reward be? Really, it's best for a person to see it on their own with personal reflection, but that wouldn't make for a very interesting answer :) The reward is this: self-pity lets you...

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Have you more comments than answers on your AB activity? 3485 Answers 14,699 Comments (Over 16 months) But really, there's some cheating here because I often slip in answers disguised as comments :)

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Now I'm annoyed. I was ok with John McCain until I just heard him say that he still agrees with the "Don't Ask Don't tell" policy of gays in the military. Is there any Republican that is NOT anti gay or is everyone in that party all arseholes? Well this slightly off point, but Republicans tend to be more conservative. "Conservative" in politics has a connotation of "resisting change". By contrast, Democrats prefer to use the word "progressive" rather than "liberal" to describe themselves. So there's a constant tension between progressive thinking -- "lets change things for the...

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Why do people on answerbag seem to think i'm a girl? The word is "genderfusion" -- it happens when we try to interpret usernames and avatars. Yours is ambiguous, so people who don't know can conceivably sense "femaleness" in that combination. I used to think Gideon was a man, she is not. I thought Elitheeli was a woman, he is not. It happens. If you pick an avatar that hints at "male" it will stop, or...

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Those wanting to save the trees, Why don't you refuse to write on anything but dry erease or chalk boards. And protest toilet paper by using your hand and washing it as they do in some other countries? Or is this to far? It's not a matter of eliminating all wood products, it's a matter of striking an intelligent and sustainable balance. For example, every year there are millions of paper catalogs and flyers delivered to the mailboxes of American households. The vast majority are immediately discarded -- this wastes forest products at a truly stunning rate: it's an unintelligent use of a...

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I'm 45 and my husband is 55. I'm considering legal separation. Most of our assests are in 401k funds. Do I have to wait until I turn 59-1/2 to cash out without penalty or can I start using funds when he turns 59-1/2? We live in Ct. When the assets are separated, they will not lose their deferred-savings form: you'll have a retirement account, and so will he. You still can't withdraw the money without penalty.

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When you click the SuperDudes site, there is a link to Demand Media, and then a link called questions, click it and you end up here, we thought this was the right avenue. They shut us down without warning and this site maybe next. Who knows. Answerbag has various "partner sites" where the content and interface is aggregated. I suppose sometimes these deals don't work out, that doesn't mean Answerbag is itself in any danger.

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My co-worker has never filed taxes but does have taxes withheld from his check. A few years ago he received a tax bill. If he is having taxes withheld but not filing will the withheld taxes go towards his debt? (this is my effort to get him to file) Yes, he can get credit for the taxes he paid -- but he has to file a return. If he doesn't file a return, the IRS will charge him for the back taxes WITHOUT giving him credit for the withholdings -- it's up to HIM to declare the withheld tax to offset his tax liability. By far, it will be much more expensive for him to continue delaying than to bite the bullet. You cannot win...

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Do you think that the Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? I love that line!

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I have had a lot of job's and i nver got any of my money i put in 401k plans and i wanted to no was there any way i could get the money i put in the plans You need to contact each employer, find out which company is holding your 401k, then contact the financial institution, determine your account information, etc. It is possible to collect all those 401k's into a single account, it's a lot of work.

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Do you agree with this statement: "If Christianity is wrong then it is of little importance, but if it is true then it is of the utmost importance!" No, I think it's too simplistic. Christianity can be partially correct, and correct enough to be useful, without being entirely correct. This is true for any belief system. It's sort of like the beliefs of indigenous people regarding medicinal properties of certain plants: they may in fact contain helpful substances, but the local explanation might be "the spirit of the...

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Where do you draw the line between holding someone responsible and playing the "blame game"? There's a difference between responsibility and blame (or responsibility and "taking credit"). The difference is judgment. If Peter takes $5 from my wallet, and then denies that he did it, he's denying responsibility -- denying the facts about what caused the $5 to disappear. If he acknowledges that he took the money, but denies that it was wrong to do so, he's...

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How do you handle it when someone in your life is very needy for attention, approval, being noticed and being always made to feel special, important and "best"? Do you feed the need or not? How I respond depends on how close I am to them, whether or not I think they'll respond to my advice, how much time and energy I have available, their age, etc. Ideally, I like to be able to have a lengthy dialog with someone like this to share what I see about how to resolve chronic self-doubt. That's the only thing I know of which has a chance of making a difference. But often...

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Assumption: You are forced to leave Answerbag, and you can never log in ever again. All of your content will be deleted except your final words. What will you write before you leave? (No limit on wording) "I'm just going out for coffee. Try to play nice."

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Do you know any ab'ers in person? I've met Carmella, Jodie44, idne, Eli Lies, LynfromNM, Mrs. Dufresne, Redhawk, AB-Joel, AB-Rich, AB-Crazytoon, Darkling, Psycho, RosieG, Old School, Scifisuz, Dick451, and Maximum_Reality. Some of these I met for the first and only time at the AB party in October: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/447819

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In regards to religion, we have proven that we cannot peacefully co-exist with such extreme and opposing differences. What are some commonalities that you personally believe that we humans should focus more on, in order for all to co-exist peacefully? Well, one thing we all have in common is the tendency to cling to ideas instead of standing for values. That's what's going on in our religious battles: defining our identity in terms of the ideas in our religion, and then seeing other faiths as "the enemy". To the degree that we do this, we divide humanity up into warring camps. So that's really it, to me:...

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Ok my mom is getting me a suprise and she'll only give me hints Water involved soft EXPENSIVE too big to fit in a house non refundable u can jump on it ITS NOT A POOL, OR a WaTer bED!! any help? A day at the spa. The water is to wash off the mud.

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Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? It's guaranteed to be a box. If that does it for ya, I guess we're good.

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Who's the very first bagger who made it to your AB list of friends? Do you remember? I think it was Jodie44. I recall a time when she didn't log in for about a week, and I freaked out and was posting things like "where the hell is Jodie??!". It's a little embarrassing now. It turned out she just got locked in the bathroom.

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My 14 year old daughter doesn't want to live with her father and he is the custodial parent. They fight constantly and i don't want my daughter to have to be in that situation, is it wrong of me to allow her stay at my house? It's hard to say for sure without knowing all three of you, but my instinct is to say you're doing the right thing. If they fight constantly, it's probably more than just some ordinary teen rebellion. The question I would have is "are you actually parenting her?" -- i.e. are you being her parent or her friend? If you give in to everything she wants, if you...

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How long has it been since you sat outside, alone, with no phone, no music, no distractions, and just took the world in; meditated so to speak? About 8 hours -- my normal time for meditation is in the morning right after I get up. But "just took the world in" doesn't quite fit -- in Zen meditation, the outside world isn't the primary focus of attention: it's the simple presence of being here and now, and being aware of thoughts and other internal content as it arises, changes, and subsides. That kind of...

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What is the proper etiquette for having sex when you have paper-thin walls and you live with roommates (but with your own room!) and people are always home? Make sure everyone in the house has a sense of humor.

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What is the core belief of Scientology? Life is a wallet, and you have to dig deep to know the truth.

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My ex still loves me, but I'm not so sure. There was a time where we wanted to be together forever but things messed up and I don't understand how feelings can change so fast. i met another guy, am i really over it or just rebounding =/ I don't know the answers to your questions, but I'm struck by the level of confusion in your post. It sounds like you have a lot of different thoughts competing for your attention and making it hard to see clearly. I usually find that when I'm confused, the thing to do is to get my own mind to settle down -- there's some level at which it can sort itself out: we know a...

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As many as 70% of the sub-prime mortgages that have defaulted lately had "fraudulent misrepresentations" on the loan applications. Should we bail out those that lied on their applications? Or should we punish them as the law allows? This is a great problem in which to study the interconnectedness of things. Yes, technically people could be punished for filing fraudulent applications. And if it were just a few people, that would be the obvious approach. But when you have thousands and thousands of shaky mortgages, it's no longer just the problem of a few individuals who colored outside the lines, it's a...

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Does it bug you that in 100 years nobody will probably know more than maybe 3 facts about your whole life, and that, after a few more years, youll likely "disappear" entirely except for a picture in a box in somebody’s basement? Once in a while it bothers me. But then I remember that "me" includes "them" -- all of humanity. Generations come and go, we're born, we live, we die... but the whole living tapestry of life goes on, changing and growing and being reborn again and again. It's wonderful and infinitely varied. When the "me" fades from the picture, the whole thing...

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Does the idea that are "born with" homosexual tendencies really help gay people? I mean, wouldn't it actually be easier for straight society and the medical community to eliminate homosexuality if that's the case? I don't think it's good for the gay community to get very attached to the "born gay" viewpoint. It may be only partially true, the research is still ambiguous. But more importantly, it plays into the hands of the enemy: by holding the view that the origins of homosexuality aren't chosen, one is validating the hidden assumption that homosexuality needs to be...

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Is it futile to try and change who a person is? It's not futile, it's meaningless. There's no such thing as "who a person is". You can't change what doesn't exist in the first place. There's a classic and ancient bit of wisdom that is required to make sense of this: there is no fixed self. Here's how the discussion goes -- who are you? Are you your body? Your thoughts? Your...

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How does someone go about getting over being so insecure about thier body? I have tried to just accept it, but that doesnt work. The reason that trying to accept it doesn't work is because you can't actually manipulate your own beliefs effectively. This is the problem with positive thinking -- it has very limited power, because it doesn't really get to the root of the negative thoughts and pull them out, it just covers them over and tries to re-program the machinery of the mind. But as long as the roots...

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Is one of the main problems with organized religion the fact that it's presented as threatening as opposed to rewarding? Well religions often use both threats and rewards (Heaven and Hell, etc.) It can be argued endlessly which mode is emphasized more. I don't see that as a problem, it's just one of the weaker forms of religious expression: attempting to manipulate and pressure people into being good instead of being bad. There is a certain cultural value to scaring people into behaving...

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Does anyone else feel that no matter what they do, it is pointless? No, but if the symptom persists, discontinue AB and see your mental health professional :)

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What is the ...ology word that means knowing that you know what you know is true or not true? Epistemology

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Is there a reward for asking the most amount of question and if not how do we get it appoved? No, there's no reward... and you would have to ask a LOT of questions to get anywhere close to the current leader in this category (Highlander). Highlander asks good questions, and lots of them. I would not dream of trying to compete :) Here's that leaderboard: http://www.answerbag.com/stats?board=2&period=alltime

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Our daughters boyfriend is coming over in 2 days to ask for her hand in marriage.................any direction on how to keep the conversation alive and upbeat........nice things to say, what to ask, i know he will be nervous...we are thrilled I don't have any direction on what to say. You can't plan something like this effectively -- anything prepared is going to interfere with just being yourself and living each moment as it presents itself. Just give yourself permission to be however you are -- nervous, excited, thrilled... it's all good. There's no right way to be.

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Do you ever think you know the answer to a question but half way through relize you have no clue do you keep going or stop and make yourself look less like a fool. Gawd! I had a whole day like that last week. I'd pick a question, start typing, get into the 2nd or 3rd paragraph and think "this is all a bunch of crap! You have no idea what you're saying or where you're going with this". It was sheer torture. I think I trashed about a dozen answers unfinished. Now my brain has turned back on, or my standards have fallen back...

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If i take the USB adapter for wifi from my pc and put it into my laptop to connect to the internet, will I have to go through a lot of re-configuring when i put it back into my PC or will it be pretty simple? PC is dell and laptop is HP (if it matters) ;] Normally this is a "plug and play" operation: your desktop will complain that it can't connect to the network, and then will stop complaining when the adapter comes back. Be sure you shut the PC down before you remove the adapter, and before you plug it back in. While things normally go smoothly, there's no reason to call the Devil a hothead to his face :)

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Who is your mommy and what does she do? My mommy was named Mary, and she died of cancer. But before she did that, she raised 6 children by herself while working as a secretary for the L.A. City Schools. She tried her best to take care of everyone she came across. She was nobody in the global scheme of things. But I still miss her.

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I can not install anything with a usb cable onto my computer without windows xp disc. i dont have one but have product key number on the outside of my computer. is there anything i can do to get a disc. If you have the product key, but not the product, you're entitled to install the version of Windows that your key is for (either XP Home, Pro, or Media Center edition -- be sure you know which one). But Microsoft won't give you the product for free. You can borrow the disk from a friend, or a computer shop will probably cooperate and do the install for you if you have your own...

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Is finishing your basement a tax deduction? No. But it does increase the "cost basis" of your home, which has tax implications when you sell the place. Your capital gains upon sale is reduced by the amount you've invested in the property for improvements. So if you spent $10k on a new kitchen (for example), and you paid $250k for the home, and then sell it for $500k, your capital gains is only $240k instead of $250k,...

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What's the best way to forget something? I truly cannot recall. Sorry.

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If you are a college basketball fan (either men's or women's), can you please tell me who your favorite team is? Sorry, Pac-10 for no good reason other than geography: Washington State and UCLA.

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What is the major reason the US got involved in the Persian golf war? We got teed off.

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How much money do/did Supersize fries cost roughly? About a buck three ninety five.

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"The (Original) Bionic Woman" or "The Six Million Dollar Man". Which show was/is better? That's like asking if I'd rather you pulled my pinkies off with pliers or jabbed cocktail stirrers into my eyesockets. I just wouldn't be able to choose.

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What is the legal size basketball for high school basketball for girls and also for boys? The girl's ball is 28.5 inches in circumference. The boy's ball is 29 inches. And they say size doesn't matter. Pfft!

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What is the best way to get over a realationship that has really hurt you? Its been over a year There's a normal healing process for anything that breaks in life... the death of a loved one, losing a job, failing at something you care about, a relationship breakup. If you allow yourself to go through the stages of that process, and feel the anger, hurt, guilt, and other things that are involved, it completes and you move on. But there's trouble in them woods too: sometimes...

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How does one commit bagocide? The correct spelling is "badgicide" (to kill the badge), and the correct way to do it is to ask the staff to reset your points to zero. That way, you start over at level 1 without the baggage of points, but preserve your history on the account so you don't have to manage more than one profile. If you prefer, you can create a new account and use the same username/avatar, but...

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If my son is 10 months old and I do not have a social security card for him what should I do? Take him down to the Social Security Administration office and hook him up!

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How long does your question post for? Forever... well, at least as long as Answerbag itself survives. You can even see the very first question ever, and answer it if you like: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1

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Whoo! I just made it into the top 1000, although my rank still insists I'm below 1000th place, yet I have far more points than 1000th place person. Is there any logical reason for this? Yeah: wait until Sunday morning Pacific time. If your victory holds, you'll get the ranking to go with it. That's when the leaderboard calculations refresh.

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What is Data Reader? The DataReader is an adapter which knows how to extract data from a DataSource and dump it into a DataSet or DataTable. Think of it like the garden hose. The DataSource is the faucet, the DataSet/DataTable is the bucket, and the DataReader is the hose.

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I bought a used car and the insurance is cheap, but I'm planning on getting a new Toyota Prius, since the fuel economy on Prius is great, so I spend less on gas but my insurance will definitely go up, so do I still save money? The way to save money is to drive an old, reliable car that's paid for. If you want a Prius because it's greener, that's fine and respectable, but you'll definitely have more out of pocket expenses

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WHAT TYPE OF VALIDATION WOULD YOU USE TO VERIFY THAT A USER HAS ENTERED A VALID CUSTOMER NUMBER? The normal way to do this is to use regular expressions. Regular expressions allow you to specify a pattern which the data must match... if it doesn't match, you put out an error message. You would need to know the logical rules for what constitutes a valid customer number in your application. You would also need to know a bit about regular expressions. Another way to do it is to...

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How do you find the sine of an angle of a right triangle? Divide the length of the hypotenuse by the opposing side.

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Maybe i should rephrase my question. For an organisation that has no idea about Psychology; How do you discuss or make them understand the importance of Psychology. I very much doubt that there's any organization with no understanding of the importance of psychology. Most adults understand that the mental processes of human beings have a profound effect on what happens in all domains of human activity. So I think your job is done before you start: we all know psychology is important. Now what?

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Is it ok to just pick and choose which rules you want to obey, and break the rest? The problem with this question is with the word "want" -- "I want to / I don't want to" are not good reasons for picking which rules to obey. Rules are "condensed guidance": they're a way to encode our notions of correct action into a form that can be handed to others, measured and enforced. This encoding process always introduces error, simply...

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I have a clock which receives radio signals to keep correct time. Why is it that when I have it near my computer it won't update but when I move it to a different location it does? Computers radiate radio frequency energy. That's why their electronics are enclosed in metal -- to reduce the amount of radiated power. It's likely that your radio clock is getting interference from the computer that prevents it from tuning to the source station.

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My monitor turns black a second after turning it on, making me constantly turn the monitor on and off for about fifteen minutes straight until it finally stops and stays normal. Is there a solution to this problem? You'll have to take it to the shop or repair it. There's no setting in the menus for "stop shutting off without permission". Most monitors are fairly inexpensive, and the repair costs can be greater than the replacement cost, so you'll probably have to dump it. Note that monitors should be recycled properly as "e-waste". The retailer who sells you the...

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What is it exactly that allows us to "click" with some people and want to be in their company, while there are others whom we learn to avoid because the possibility of vital, positive communication is non-existent? I think there's a couple of key aspects to this: - First, no communication takes place without a shared background. If I say to you "I'd like some water, please", you're likely to bring me a glass of drinking water. I didn't have to say "put it in a glass" or "clean water" or "a few ounces", because those are all part of our...

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How do single parents cope, I'm on my own with my children for 1 week and already finding it hard? Sorry. That's tough. My mother left my father when I was 4, and raised 6(!) children by herself. When she left, she had no job skills. Over the years, she went to a trade school, and ended up with a good job at the L.A. City Schools -- good enough to feed us and clothe us, but we were not ever well off financially. If you look out into the future, it may look very bleak, you may...

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How do you tell your Wife, who is madly in love with you and says she could never be happy again without you, that you are not sure your heart is in it anymore? "she could never be happy again without you" is a HUGE red flag! It's no wonder you're having doubts about the relationship. This person is clinging desperately, adrift on an ocean of confusion about who she is. You are not responsible for making her happy, and in fact you cannot make someone else happy. She needs to be locating her own ability to generate being...

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I just broke up w my bf of 4 yrs. Fiancé of 2. He made it very clear that he is going to have a hard time seeing me w/ other guys. How long should I wait to start dating again? Why should you wait at all? There's no official mourning period. If you're clear that he was not "the one", move on. But you're bothered, yes? What are you bothered by exactly? Did you feel that somehow you didn't have a right to break up with him, that you owe him some drama and signs that you're in pain? Did you do something you're...

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I do a monthly newsletter with an inspiring quote at the end. Last months one was “Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk” Dali Lama. Can anybody think of any other good ones? "You can have it cheap, fast, or good. Pick any two" - Unknown (And a few that I originated...) "You never have to look past the mirror to find the person in charge" "Every silver lining has it's cloud" "Today is the last day of the past." "You don't have to wonder where to find love if you're the source of it."

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You have built two identical robots (they follow the same instructions) and you place them randomly on a perfectly spherical planet. The robots have no cameras and can only sense each other when they are touching. How can you get them to meet up? Program each robot to walk 1/3 of the way around the planet, and then turn in a random direction. Eventually they'll "meet up", fall in love, have little robots, and populate your desolate rock with ungrateful offspring. Successive generations will create stories about the origin of their race, and attribute all of their suffering to your master plan.

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What effect does server bandwidth have on a website? Does it make it load faster or allow more visitors at once? Normally the "bottleneck" in delivering a web page is the network itself -- a server that isn't heavily loaded can deliver data much faster than the network can route it to the browser. So adding muscle to the server won't make any difference when it's lightly loaded. But as the number of users increases, it is possible to reach a point where the server can't...

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While involved in some long comment threads, the comments indicator by my avatar has not been lighting up as new comments come in. I have not unsubscribed. Has anyone else experienced this? Yes, it happens when the comments are coming fast-and-furious. Tell those friends of yours to slow down! :)

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Though it took a long time, I have managed to come out of the Cocoon woven by me around myself in the name of Nationality, Race, Religion, Language etc. Now when I look around me I see a different world of beauty . Do you understand? Yes, certainly. These aspects of being human are fine, but when they serve as the basis of our identity it's a false sense of self. To transcend these forms of self-identification is to become free of delusion. It's a basic principle of spiritual development.

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What is man's greatest fear? To judge by our behavior, it's "loss of self" -- i.e. encountering a situation in which we do not know who we are. I say this because what I actually observe in myself and others is lots of clinging to ideas of self. "This is who I am, and I'm very attached to that idea, and if you challenge it I will fight back". We get very angry and defensive when our...

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Is it illegal to beat up this really gay kid in my class named will? Yes, and it's dumb to be asking that, and it's ignorant to be picking on him. If you don't like him, leave him alone and avoid him. Don't be a bully or a punk.

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My boyfriend has not been paying much attention to me. I shouldn't have to ask for it. We had an argument because I heard something about him and I said it was over. I didn't mean it. I apologized but he has not responded back. What should I do now? - "I shouldn't have to ask for it" is a red flag -- the fact is, you DO have to ask for it with most men, most of the time. Expecting something other than that is risky: there are very few men (I count myself among them) who proactively think "I should pay more attention to her!". It's a lesson we have to learn over and over again. Life is much easier for...

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Is any body offended by the fact that I intend to get to the top of this site by being controversial and a bit risque? Well I'm not offended, but it's not a terribly original idea. Lots of people have come to Answerbag with that kind of goal. It's OK, it's not my place to tell you what your goals should be, but I do have the sense that there's something driving that effort which is less than admirable... some craving for attention perhaps? Or feeling like "I'll be...

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If a cop doesnt read you your rights can you fight that in court? is it illegal The "Miranda rule" requires that the police advise you of your right to remain silent, and your right to consult an attorney during questioning. If they obtain information from you after arresting you without advising you of these rights, that information would be inadmissible in court. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll go free, the prosecutor may have plenty of other...

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The number zero "0", has shown up on my caller id cell phone for over a week now. It is not 000-000-0000 just the single digit "0". I have answered it but no reply. Does anyone have the slightest clue who or what is calling me? No, you can't tell. Sometimes that happens if the call is international, or if it's originating over Internet services like Skype. If you want to know who's calling, you're going to have to pick up the phone! :)

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LDS Why is it that people think they have the right to critique this church in any fashion that they choose to do so? This church is insulted and lied about more than any other church, and more often! why do people think they have the right to do this? People do have a right to criticize the Mormons, or any other church. That's what free speech is. However, we all have an obligation to do our best to check the facts before criticizing the Mormons or anyone else. We also have an obligation to be "measured" in the criticism, e.g. to consider mitigating factors, multiple viewpoints, etc. There's often more than one way...

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My byfriend who I love wants to move away from me. He wants to never get back together. He wont talk to me and tell me what I did. What am I supposed to do or say? He loves me back and said he would never leave me or Hurt me. I dont want to bug him nemore Probably the hardest thing about love is learning to let go. That's the lesson you're faced with now. Ultimately, each of us has to learn to be whole on our own, whether or not we have a partner. It can take years to work that out, so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't get it right away. But that's what you should be working on, not clinging to him or...

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How many characters appear in the Bible? It depends on whether you count God and Jesus as two people or one.

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Just resigned from my old job to take a new one. My new hire forms indicated that a consumer report will be run. I have bad credit, and I'm terrified I'm going to lose the job offer because of it and end up unemployed. Is this likely? It's a medical job. It's possible, it depends on how much weight the employer gives to that information. If they like you, it may not matter much. It would be best if you discussed this with them at the interview -- then you could "immunize" them against the information by explaining whatever there is to explain on the report. But that opportunity has passed, presumably, so now you just have...

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Men, what relationship advice would you give your son when he started dating? 1- Try to be kind and honest. 2- She doesn't think like you think. Listen carefully. 3- When she's angry, think "jewelry, flowers, and candy", not "toaster oven". 4- Don't expect her to make you happy. That's your job. 5- Don't try to make her happy. That's her job. 6- It's a lot easier to make a baby than to unmake one....

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Why is it that even though i have urgent college work pending,i am hanging around here? Sometimes folks use Answerbag as an escape from their responsibilities in life. It's ok if you do that in a limited way, but if it's seriously interfering with something important, you should whack yourself on the head with your mouse and get moving.

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"Thank God for IED'S!", "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" Those are just two signs that were held up by two young women at a protest, How could/would you respond to someone like that? I'm opposed to the war. But that kind of public statement is unacceptable, and harms the anti-war effort a lot. Those who are fighting in Iraq are doing their best in a difficult situation -- it's a very hard job. It takes courage and determination, and those qualities are worthy of being respected, even though the war as a whole is a mistake. Also, the families of soldiers...

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I don't want to be single anymore!!! (Note: this isn't a question... you should present your problem in the form of a question on Answerbag, so it doesn't get deleted) Here's something to think about: if you can't be happy alone, you can't be happy with a partner either. I don't know how serious your aversion to singleness is, but it's worth considering that until you can be satisfied with...

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When you click the 'comments" link in your profile, do you think it would be better if we were able to view the comments directly and reply back rather than to open the answer to do it? Yes, I've wished for this for a long time!

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What about your life would be different if you'd listened more carefully? Great question - when I first thought about it, I was stumped until I realized that there have been places where I failed to listen to MYSELF adequately, producing choices that altered the road ahead dramatically. For example, I loved school as a child: I got good grades, enjoyed the teachers, etc. Then in High School, after my first year things started going downhill and instead of...

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If you were garanteed to get away with murder, would you? You can't really get away with anything in life: that' what "karma" means. I still have to live with myself each day.

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I love my husband but he has no problem holding onto his anger when we have an argument. I always apologize in order to resolve the issue and avoid the silent treatment. If he really loved me wouldn't it hurt him just as much to have unresolved issues? - Anything that comes after "if he really loved me" is trouble. - Regardless of what his issue is, it seems clear that you have trouble just being with his silence. This is something you can and should work on -- don't apologize just to end the discomfort. If he's silent, he's silent. It's not the end of the world. - You both can benefit from learning...

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I am 17 1/2 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend already has 3kids & and not divorced yet. Abort/adopt is his choice. I'm keeping this baby! If he is not divorced and he does not want his wife to find out what rights do I have. He's legally and morally obligated to support the child. If he is going to pull that off without his wife finding out, it will be tricky. But your prime concern has to be that child's welfare, so do what you need to do. If he refuses to support the child, you'll need to take him to court -- and that will be the end of any secrecy from his wife.

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What can someone do with my stolen credit card? Would they be caught or am i responsible for this mistake? Normally you're only responsible for $50 if you report the card stolen promptly. Contact your credit card issuer immediately. They'll cancel future charges on the card, issue a new card to you, and you'll be back in business in about 10 days.

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In Alabama do you have to evict "friends" that are not contributing to the household (not paying any bills or rent), even if they have been living in your house for 7 months? I think this is true in all states -- you have to go to the eviction process, regardless of their rent status. That is their home, you can't throw them out without due process. It's possible that there's a legal aid organization in your area who can advise you, and you also might find that the local courthouse clerk can point you to literature on the topic.

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Is AB becoming more of a social networking site than an actual Q&A site? Some of the questions seem like they could be answered with a simple Google search. But many questions seem more and more "social". Thoughts? When I first started in Sept. of 2006, somebody asked "Why do people ask questions that they could easily answer themselves using Google?" (http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/91585) Here's what I thought then (10 days after starting): "I think there are different factors for different people and situations. Certainly laziness, ignorance of search engines, and wanting to...

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What is your understanding of the word "religion" ? Is it a spiritual path, moral code of conduct or just grouping of people under one faith? It comes from the Latin "religio" -- "to bind together". The interpretation which I think best captures the spirit of "good" religion is "that which makes whole". Life can seem to be a bunch of disconnected parts: there's you and me and the universe full of dead rocks and trees and the letter Q and Barbie's pink Corvette. A LOT of stuff!...

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When people log onto my computer, i want them to see a message from me before logging on. How do i do this with Windows XP? Create a text file, and put it in the c:/Documents and Settings/All Users/Start Menu/Programs/Startup folder. Anything placed in this folder is launched whenever a user logs into the computer. So anything in your text file will be displayed to the user.

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Scientists say that "all" the living cells in our body will die and be replaced by new cells within 12 months. Does that mean you and I are a completely new and different person, technically, from the individual 12 months ago? Yes and no. Yes, your cells keep replacing, so there's no "material" bit of yourself remaining from when you were a child. You're made out of all new stuff! No, because the FORM of your body is coherent over time... that is, there's a cohesion in shape and details, and a cohesive chain of cause-and-effect going back to your birth. You are distinguishable from...

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Why is it racist to call someone "illegal" when it is true? It's not racist, it's labeling. Have you ever told a lie? Then you're a liar. That's labeling. It's convenient, and we do it all the time, but it distorts because it creates an "ontological status" which is deceptive. People are not the labels we apply to them. They're just not. It's just a way for the mind to think about object...

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Question for abortion rights people: When does abortion cross over to murder. 1 second after a baby is born. How about 3 minutes before, or 2 weeks before it is born? No theoretical long winded diatribes please, just straight answer. Your question creates it's own trap. By limiting the scope of the answers you'll consider acceptable, what you're saying is "only oversimplified answers, please". But the truth doesn't fit into an oversimplified answer here, so you're stuck. The answers you get will be incorrect and incomplete, you'll argue with them using binary logic, even though it...

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Why does Obama have a problem with saying the pledge of allegence? I don't know if he does or not, I can tell you why I have a problem with it: - Pledging allegiance to symbols and abstractions (the flag, the republic) puts those things at a higher level of priority than universal values: truth, the health of humanity as a whole, the planet. This is an inappropriate hierarchy of values... universal values must supersede regional values to preserve...

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How is it that people with equal points can have different titles/levels? I look at the leaderboard, at the people around me, and some have levels + or - 4 compared to me.? I believe their Q&A positive-rating percentages are a factor in the rankings -- so if two people have 10,000 points each, but one has a higher positive-rating percentage, that person will be ranked higher and possibly have a higher badge if they're on the borderline.

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Do you think it strange that sometimes you ask what you think ia s really good question to get no response and then you ask a real silly one and everyone wants to answer it? This is true, and it's commonly observed and discussed. The basic cause is that nearly everybody can participate in "What's your favorite color?". People want to participate, so they do, so that question gets lots of attention. Not many people can answer "Why do I get error 0x800C0DDE from Microsoft Outlook when I close it?". So it doesn't get a lot of...

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Do not you think it is inhuman to kill a animal(cow specially) for flesh when you are also drinking its milk ? do not you see any kill of montherhood there? There's a big difference between killing the cow and milking it. "Motherhood" is an abstraction, you can kill abstractions all day long and nobody gets hurt. I hereby kill the abstraction "the square root of three". Did you feel anything? I'd be surprised.

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Where do you draw the line between possible and impossible? For me... all things are possible in cyberworld, but not necessarily true in the real world. There's all kinds of things we can imagine which are impossible, even in cyberspace. Everything in life comes with constraints -- conditions which can't be violated. Learning what those conditions are is important, that keeps us from wasting energy on goals that are impossible. I can't fly by flapping my arms, no matter how strong I am. The constraints are provided by the...

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I quite my job a while ago, and I just handed in my shirts and got my last paycheck. I'm feeling very despondent. How would you cheer me up, if at all possible? The best way to resolve this is not to get "cheered up", but to take actions that contribute to a better future. What can you do? Look for a new job? Update your resume? Contact friends and let them know you're looking for work? In life, as in sports, it all feels much better if you have more points on the scoreboard. That beats having better cheer chants any day.

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Does jestam become flotsam as soon as it hits the water, or is there a waiting period? Isam went to seasam To see what I could see, Sam. And saw so many boatsam I nearly had to peesam. That's when I heard that Nelsam Was interested in jetsam I didn't know the factsam About his flotsam questsam So now I sit so quietsam Thinking up my poemsam About said puzzling questsam Don't quite know what to saysam.

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Which Disneyland is closer to where you are at the moment? I'm about 3 miles from the Anaheim location. I can smell the mouse from here. :)

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Social security are paying my interest on my mortgage ,if i sell do i have to pay them back? Your question is a bit confusing, here's how I've interpreted it: you're using your social security benefits to pay the mortgage. If that's correct, then no -- you don't have to pay back the social security money when you sell the house. You can use your social security benefits for any living expense, as long as you're legally entitled to those benefits (i.e....

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Lately, I've been hearing many people criticising others for being insecure. Do you think it's fair for people to judge eachother in a harsh manner because of their insecurities? Often the issue isn't that someone is insecure, it's that they're "acting out" or hiding their insecurity in ways that cause problems. To be insecure (i.e. to have self-doubt about something) is pretty common, and you can't wave a magic wand to make it go away. But you do have a choice about how to relate to it. Often people get caught up in trying to...

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If you were on the equator in a boat at sea level, could you see both the North Star and the Southern Cross? (assuming it was a clear night) Yes. If you imagine the geometry of it, you'll see why -- the stars are so far away that any line drawn from you to the star is essentially parallel to a line drawn from the poles to the star(s). Since the horizon is slightly below this line extended, it cannot block your view... of course, you may have trouble recognizing those stars that close to the horizon, depending on the relative...

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Why do answer bag staff not bother replying to emails sent to them..or if they do how long does it take them to reply? It can be challenging. They get a lot of mail. If you've tried more than once and not gotten a response, you can cheat by posting to the blog. It's frowned upon, but often produces better results.

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How long do you have to really stop at a stop sign? If you stop look ahead and to the left and then the right, isnt that enough? In California, the rule is that you must come to a complete stop -- i.e. your tires have to stop turning altogether, and the front of your car has to be behind the crosswalk if there is one. Then you have to look both directions and proceed only when safe. It's pretty hard to fight a ticket like this, because the criteria is pretty straightforward. The fact that most people don't...

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We need to renew the domain name zapnet.tv. What is the procedure? The current registration info for this domain can be found here: http://www.enom.com/domains/whois.asp?DomainName=zapnet.tv&submit.x=0&submit.y=0 To renew, go to https://www.enom.com/Login.asp?page=%2fdomains%2fDomain-Manager.aspx%3f& and log in with the account information you received when registering the domain. If this info is lost, you will need to contact the registrar...

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"In winter the distance between the Sun & the Earth is maximum." Is the statement correct? Explain brifely. False. Winter is caused by the Earth's axis angle relative to the sun. The Northern hemisphere has winter in the Dec-March time frame, and the Southern has winter in the June-Sept range... because that's when each hemisphere has the most oblique angle to the sun. The angle of the sun (and lenght of the days) determines how much energy is delivered, and thus the temperature. ...

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How do you come to a final decision in situations where you're really torn but a decision must be made, what is your process? I find it's best if there's some time available for the process. I think about all the different possibilities, just as anyone would. Then I try to shine as much attention as I can on any "distorted" thinking that might be going on. In particular, concerns about my reputation or comfort tend to get undue weight, and I find it necessary to be proactive about surfacing...

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Has anyone else noticed Highlander is now Answerbag's all time''Most Inquisitive User''? Who would like to help me congratulate him for this new title and all the great questions he asks? Highlander asks great questions, and he asks a lot of them. That's quite challenging. That's what keeps the bag rolling along!

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What are the signs that a relationship is over? - You come home from work and your stuff is on the lawn. - He calls you "it" when talking to his friends ... while you're in the room. - You see your car for sale on eBay - You walk in the door and there's a yellow line down the middle of the living room, and the sides are labeled "his" and "hers" - You answer the phone, and it's...

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How does the idea of "Survival of the Fittest" apply to religions? I mean, obviously most belief systems have a built-in "Survival Instinct", so what traits make any one religion more successful or widespread than any other? I think it's easiest to consider this as being the same as a "memeplex" -- a set of related ideas which tend to cluster together and propate from one mind to another for their own survival. (Note: this doesn't mean the religions are FALSE, it's just an analysis based on the metaphor between ideas and genes -- ideas propagate with a sort of natural selection). ...

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Does wisdom come from experience? Experience is a necessary but not sufficient condition. Wisdom results from "integration" of experience. Integration occurs only with insight: seeing connections, making intuitive leaps, sensing relationships that defy discriminative, analytical logic. Someone can have a ton of experience and no wisdom.

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How is it that I can create two accounts on answerbag with same name and password yet two different e-mails? Because the system doesn't limit the username to be unique. I can go rename myself "shanzzy" and clone your avatar, and voila'! In 5 minutes I'm you... sort of. Your email address DOES have to be unique. This wasn't always the case. In an earlier version of the system, usernames had to be unique. It's a bit of a problem now, because it's not...

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Is there a universal IM that everyone can use, regardless of their email address? No, there is no universal IM protocol -- and this isn't a function of your email address, it's a function of the way IM has evolved. However, there are a lot of "universal IM client" programs, which can connect you to multiple IM accounts on multiple services at the same time, so you only have to run one program and all your IM buddies are on a level playing field on your...

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Why is it that web address for the united states are .com but for other countries it is an initial of their country. Like, the uk it is .uk(some have to put a .co in front of the initials also). Also we have multiple ones like .org, .gov, and .edu. Why? It's a leftover artifact of the way the Internet domain name system evolved. Because the Internet protocols were invented in by the U.S. military (DARPA), the whole scheme was very US-centric. As the Internet grew and became very international, it became obvious that there was a need to expand the specificity and range of the "top level domains" (the last segment of the host...

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Is it possible to make it so that the comments you have replied to go away and only the comments that you haven't replied to stay on "View my profile & activity"? It's possible, with changes to the system logic. Will it happen? I doubt it. You're the first person I've heard complain about this, it takes a strong wave of complaints to make system changes happen usually. Just a historical note: we have it GOOD here compared to the past. In the old days, there was no way to know if you had new comments or not, without manually...

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Is bigotry something that people are born with or is it a by-product of years of "bad programming?" We're born with the capacity to distinguish differences between people -- e.g. we can tell black skin from white skin without being trained. But in order to form the idea "black skin indicates an inferior person", we must either come up with that idea on our own and choose to believe it, or absorb it via conditioning from our environment. Very few bigots sat down one day...

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Do you care i mean do you really care about the starving kids in other countries be serious and truthful if you don't ill still give you points for being truthful Sometimes I care and sometimes I don't... mostly it depends on my level of awareness, which isn't some fixed characteristic, but rather varies greatly from day to day. But regardless of how I happen to feel on any given day, I consistently support the goal of having a planet where everybody has enough to eat. There's a difference between caring (the feeling) and caring...

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Columbus discovered America in 1492; Jamestown was soon after; 1776 independence was declared. With over 500 years history, is it OK to say "100% American" after someone asks what nationality you may be? Really, the only "pure American" would be someone for whom all ancestors were American citizens at the time the relevant offspring was conceived... otherwise you have some non-American blood, yes? You have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so forth. This progression grows rapidly, until you reach a time in history when there was no such thing as America, at...

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HELP ME PLEASE! I am addicted to answer bag...what should i do? 1. Neglect the people you care about in real life. 2. Spend as many hours possible moderating, asking, and answering, until your fingers are sore. 3. Keep an anxious eye on the leaderboard as you move up. When you get in the top 100, let out a Rebel Yell(tm). When you get in the top 20, act cool and nonchalant, and post sensible-sounding answers to newbie questions about points...

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My best male friend made a move on me. He's always known I wasn't interested in him in that way, but the other day he said we could keep it quiet and have casual sex, even though he has a gf! Now I don't know if we should be friends. How should I respond? Your job as his friend is to support his existing relationship. If he's not ready to end that properly, you can still be his friend, but not his lover, and you need to make that clear. It's up to you whether to remain friends or not -- presumably he can use some support in the areas where he's weak. You may or may not be able to make a difference in those areas, but you...

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Is PMI insurance a scam or does it actually protect the borrower? It protects the lender, not the borrower. It's not a scam, it's just an expense the borrower wishes he didn't have to pay. Basically, PMI is something that gets attached to your mortgage so it can be sold on the secondary market if the equity ratio is too low, the borrower's credit too poor, or the loan is otherwise substandard in some way. These loans are bundled and...

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Do you think there is a collective goal for humanity? We haven't gotten to that point yet, because we have not yet come to understand who and what we are. That awakening is a necessary precursor to being able to have authentic global goals, beyond simply "lets survive". Survival is important, of course... but it's not a very inspiring goal, and it certainly does not represent the pinnacle of the possibilities available to...

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Which had been your greatest moment or joy? The only moment of joy that matters to me is right now. If I go around comparing it to moments in the past (recalled from memory), the fun goes out of it and I sense that I'm missing the point of life.

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Is there an opposite of Progeria? That would not be considered a disease by any stretch of the imagination. The researchers would be crawling all over themselves to get tissue samples for study!

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Can you find happiness for your whole life from a single partner? No, you can't find happiness even for a few minutes from a single partner. Happiness is something you have to solve on your own. If you have a partner, that actually makes it more complicated, because the temptation to blame your partner for your unhappiness (or hold unrealistic expectations that your partner should make you happy) muddies the water and makes the job of understanding...

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Just broke up with gf, I know eventually I'll want to meet someone new. Problem is I'm shy and have trouble going places alone, movies, restaurants, bars etc. Have no friends here and trouble finding a new job so I can move, til then any advice? Yeah, drop the "I'm shy" bit. It's not working for you. This will take some discipline, because if you're like most of us, you're addicted to your identity -- all those ideas and images about who you are, assembled from the bits and pieces of experiences from the past, and sealed with the magic duct tape of personal attachment. You aren't shy. You...

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Life is relly simple, but we insist on making it complicated what does this qout mean and how is it an example of confucianism Life is neither simple nor complicated: both of those words are generalizations. Life (i.e. reality) is just exactly this way. What way is that? THIS way. Look around, this is it. The monitor, the keyboard. The air going in and out of your lungs. The sound of traffic. The thoughts going through your mind. There are no hidden meanings, nobody is trying to keep the truth from you....

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HanginJudge just made Sage...It's been a lot of work. Will everyone join in my celebration of this achievement? Well it's nice to see the word "Sage" used well :)

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Is the U.S. ready to stop asking if it's ready for a black or female president? I don't think we really care what color or gender they are. We want someone intelligent enough to pronounce "nuclear" properly. We want someone who doesn't think starting sham wars constitutes leadership. We want someone who cares about the health of the citizenry, the health of the environment, the health of the economy, and the health of our relationships with other...

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I never want the words, "I love you" to become stale to my boyfriend so that when I do say it, it really rings home how very much I do. What are some other specific things you say (or maybe even do) in place of that to your significant other? It doesn't work that way. Everything becomes stale if repeated. That's just the way life is. You can introduce variations on the theme, and play around with the furniture, but eventually that runs out of gas too. 98% of life is routine... doing the same things over and over again. This is the first thing to understand: resisting that truth is a recipe for eternal...

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Here’s a hypothetical situation on which I want to base my question: China and India supersede America as the world’s super power both economically and militarily. Would this in your opinion justify the formation of a North American Union? The world is not a competition between nations for dominance and resource consumption -- that orientation just makes messes. Nations are useful to the degree they support the healthy development and maintenance of their population, and the healthy "ecosystem" of their international relationships. There's no prize for being #1 in power or economic wealth if it's gained by...

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Santa and Satan what do you think,is it the same entity? Santa rules in the cold. Satan rules in the heat. Hot and cold are polar opposites. Polar opposites are connected in the middle, so therefore Santa and Satan are two aspects of the same metabeing... an as yet unnamed co-conspirator in the manipulation of temperature extremes. We'll just call this person Bob for now.

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In a scene straight out of 'Weekend at Bernies,' New York police allege two men placed a corpse on an office chair and wheeled him to a nearby store in the hopes of cashing his Social Security check. " Your thoughts? I'm trying to imagine the dialog with the clerk: Them: "We want to cash this social security check" Clerk: "Ok, just have him sign the back. I'll need to see his ID". Them: "Umm... he has problems writing his name. He's old" Clerk: "Sir, can you sign your check?" Dead man: <silence> Them: <Make dead...

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Are Irrational numbers are not real numbers? No, they're real. They are just numbers that can't be expressed as a RATIO (thus the word "irrational"). So PI is an example of such a number. There's no fraction you can come up with which evaluates to 3.141259... when considered in its entirety. 22 divided by 7 is close (3.14285), but no matter how much you play with the numerator and denominator, you'll...

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Have you ever tried angel dust? In my druggie days (circa 1975..1980) I smoked plenty of this stuff. It was one of my 3 favorites (LSD and crystal meth were the others). Seems like another lifetime now. I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole anymore.

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What do u think of this quote?"People with good memories are liable to be crushed by the weight of suffering. Only those with bad memories, the fittest to survive, can live on."-Lu Xun Well yes, wiping the memory clean is one way to end certain kinds of suffering. But it makes it hard to drive home after the operation. What we really want isn't to have or memory removed, it's to have our past COMPLETE. A complete past is a past that doesn't exert a debilitating effect on one's present and future. One way to look at life is that it's like a...

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A guy just called named Brad Bradley. What names have you heard that are the same both first and last? (John Johnson) A few killers for your list: - Sirhan B. Sirhan assassinated Robert Kennedy - Duran Duran assassinated Rock n' Roll - New York, New York assassinated Courtesy and Kindness

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Do you ever answer a question differently because of the person asking it? Yes, quite often. Most of the time when I answer a question, I'm trying to speak primarily to the person asking the question. There's all sorts of reasons for adjusting the answer to fit the questioner -- for example, if I can tell the person is a teen, they'll get a very different kind of "relationship solution" than if they sound like they're in their...

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A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. What are your thoughts? At least he can list her in the "Assets" column of the divorce papers. She has to list him under "Liabilities".

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After an argument or disagreement my boyfriend believes not talking about it and questioning it makes it go away, like it did not happen. With all relationships I have talked about the problems. I thought thats how to solve it. You're both right! Often, it's just a waste to try to dig through the leftovers of an argument and figure out what happened, etc. It's like the ashes of a fire... there's all sorts of things that look like furniture, but you can't really sit on them anymore. It's also true that sometimes there are important things that need to be discussed about your...

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What would you call a person who is unable to see humor in situations? The technical name is "bureaucrat".

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If you don't like someone on AnswerBag for some reason, are you petty enough to go around to all their surveys and down-rate them without even answering the question? Nope. There are actually a number of people I don't like, and the ONLY good ways to deal with that are (a) try to resolve the conflict in good faith OR (b) avoid them. Anything else just makes Answerbag unpleasant for everyone and resolves nothing.

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Do you think that there are elite groups that run the world government and keep world events carefully calculated and in check? So our wars are preplanned years ahead. our leaders are not elected democratically, information is skewed or not available? If there is such a group, they need much better planning and execution! These conspiracy theories are normally associated with people who wear tinfoil hats to deflect harmful mind rays. While it's possible that there is some secret ultra-powerful organization which escapes detection, the probability is pretty low. It's much more likely that the world is chaotic simply because...

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Hillary welled up, and people thought it made her more "human." Does anyone think it shows instability, or weakness for a campaigning presidential candidate to cry in front of the press? If not, would you feel the same if it were a male candidate? No, I'm not a Hilary fan but it shows neither weakness nor instability, and it would be a breath of fresh air to see any male presidential candidate do the same. Human beings are not machines, and anyone who plays one on TV is faking it. I don't want another pretender in the White House.

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If I'm feeling depressed and severely heartbroken, is it better to just keep going to work and following my usual routines, or is it better to do what I want, be irresponsible, call in sick and stay in bed all day, etc.? Why are you depressed and heartbroken? Either approach is fine, the most important thing is to find someone to connect with -- i.e. to share your suffering. We all go through hard times and need support... do you have someone to play that role?

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Do you believe that "love conquers all" or do you think it is just another one of those sayings that sounds good, but isn't really true? I think it has that kind of power, but we are not able to be pure expressions of love very often... all sorts of other things (mainly ego-based concerns) divert a lot of our attention and cloud our vision and action. I think you could say that the point of living is to approach becoming that pure expression of love -- knowing all the while that it's an impossible goal. Effort...

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Society needs sensible, caring and sensitive politicians! Who on Answerbag would you like to see stand for election? Every time some form of this question comes up, my answer is the same: LynfromNM... she's wise, balanced, intelligent, restrained, articulate, and attentive. But she lacks the fiery public persona that gets people elected. We don't hire on competence, we hire on charisma... and the lack of depth in our hired guns shows up quickly when they get on the job.

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How important is slick, sleek and perfect ? Can down-to-earth, honest and real compete? A redeemed sinner is better than a shallow saint -- but only the honest sinners recognize this. So it's about the audience: those with some depth of experience see the shallowness and inauthenticity of "slick, sleek, and perfect". Those who have spent some time in the school of hardship, and seen their own weaknesses, recognize the value of "down-to-Earth and honest".

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Do you need to get angry about something to stand up and speak out or do you do that anyway, even when you are calm? No, I speak out most of the time and prefer to be calm while doing so. Using anger as a "lever" to motivate oneself is very dangerous, in my opinion. It's like setting dynamite to a dam so you can water the crops... it works, but there are unintended consequences.

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My wife won't let me be myself in public and rarely in private, I am a playful and almost loud type of guy who likes being the center of attention. I'm finding her distaste in my personality very frustrating, what should I do? Nobody is all one way. It sounds like you've formed a rigid idea of who you are, and then wrapped up this story about how she won't let you be who you are, and therefore there's a fundamental conflict in your relationship. There's a difference between having behavior patterns and preferences, vs. having an identity. You prefer to act loud and playful, she doesn't...

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I have been seeing a man for about 4 months. He has 2 teenagers who live with him...I have no kids. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him. However, the time we spend together is limited (once weekly) due to our % If you want to get help with this, post an answer to your own question that contains more details. The question limit will prevent you from saying very much in that form.

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Why java is more portable than c Java is "tightly specified" -- almost everything about the language and how it behaves is defined very explicitly. This means it's pretty predictable how each detail should work on each platform. C is "loosely specified" -- there are a lot of aspects of the behavior of the language which are implementation defined -- meaning, it's up to the people who wrote...

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What's the best way to get get more people to enjoy my music at http://jgelhaar.googlepages.com/downloads? It's not acceptable to use Answerbag to promote your business or web site.

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I never thought I would come to this................Am I wortth nothing? Do I not contirbuate nothing to AB? If you're upset this much, it's probably time to take a break. I've done it several times, most long-term users have done it. Relax, breathe, do something else with your time for a while. AB can get under your skin. Well, really... friendships gone bad on AB can get under your skin, as can chronic conflicts, etc. None of that says anything about whether or not you...

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When you're a "friend with benefits", is it considered wrong to simply disappear when you don't feel like seeing that person anymore? or are you obliged to face them? This is a very messy way to have a friendship OR a romance. There are very few people who can truly have casual sex with their friends and not have it make a mess out of the relationship. Sex is intimacy, intimacy promotes and expresses attachment. Trying to separate sex from attachment isn't territory that most of us should be playing around in. So if you're having sex with...

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Religion has killed too many people- why cant people accept the medieval idea will never work? Religion per se is not the problem. Religious IDENTITY is the problem. And it's a pervasive problem which isn't the exclusive territory of religion. What this means is that when we get our sense of "self" from our religion, we're falling for the Devil's bargain -- and setting up a situation in which those of other faiths or no faith become the enemy:...

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Why do people have so much "stuff"? Is this the reason in the rise in Self-Storage facilities, despite the fact that many houses nowadays are bigger than those of previous generations? We live in an unexamined trap called "produce and consume": the bumper sticker says "He who dies with the most stuff wins!", and we believe it. Advertising generates demand for things we don't need. Easy credit makes those things easy to obtain. We go to work long hours so we can buy those things, and produce those things. It's an endless loop, with little...

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If you journal, how long have you been doing it and what kinds of things do you write about? I used to keep a journal, mostly it contained my reflections on life and my own development. Oddly enough, that stopped when I joined Answerbag -- now Answerbag is my journal, I guess! :)

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What is your opinion of Barack Obama? I really don't think I've ever met a politician I approved of. Here's the problem: the audience has a short attention span, and likes to have things simplified for them. We want short, punchy answers: easy solutions to problems which defy even the greatest minds of history. That "listening" which we bring to the political arena is like a funnel with a tiny hole:...

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I am need some help. I am looking for a room to rent in Orange County Ca. I am new to this. What do I need to be aware of when I find and answer ads. What do I need to look for when visiting the place and how prepared should I be? You should have a list and carry it with you, and refer to it. It's a good idea to take notes, after you've seen a half-dozen places they will all start to blend together in your mind. Your questions may be different than mine, but here's some starters: - Are laundry facilities available? - Is there a phone jack in the room? Cable TV? - Do I have a separate entry?...

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I am 28yrs old and have never had a real serious relationship, just casual dating. I have been engaged for over a year now and my fiance has never done really anything for me not to trust him but i need to know everything his MySpace password especially? I think you should do your best to keep this kind of anxiety to yourself, rather than pour it out onto your fiance. Everybody needs some privacy, and it's actually healthy for your relationship to respect his privacy and grant him some room to breathe. If you're anxious about being able to trust him, work on yourself, not him. That anxiety can be studied and managed, you...

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Do you think it is unpresidential for Hillary Clinton to act so emotionally on national TV? Do you think she has the nerve of steel and mental toughness to handle major national crisis? I'm not a big fan of Hillary, but no I don't think it's a problem that she got emotional on TV. The notion that a president should be "presidential" all the time is silly: human beings are human beings, and a healthy person should be capable of a wide range of emotions, and should not be trying to enslave their emotional range to some preset expression limit. ...

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If one copies another's answer on answerbag and uses it somewhere else, is that considered plagiarism and what is the punishment? The original poster owns the copyright, so it's up to them to press the matter.

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Who was the original Answerbagger? The generally accepted answer is Brendan Lim (the first non-staff user) http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=8

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Must all variables appearing within a c program be declared? Yes. If you don't declare a variable, the compiler will issue an error message and your program will not be linked.

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Has anyone used MAACO to paint and repair body damage, if so would you recommend them? I have heard some pretty bad things about them and a few good things. Your input would be appreciated. I have a 93 Camry which was repainted by MAACO 2 years ago. It cost about $600, and it was not a color change -- I stayed with the factory green. It's definitely not a perfect paint job -- but it's adequate. There are a few spots that are chipping. Overall, considering that a top-quality paint job starts around $3,000, I think it was a reasonable deal for a car that's 14...

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Im having some issues with my puter,a message comes up "generic host process for Win 32 service has encountered a problem.needs to close."when you hit "dont send "or anything else it disables and doesnt let you access or do anything.good advice please? There's no simple answer, unfortunately. The "Generic host process" is also known as svchost.exe: you'll find multiple copies of that process running if you use the Windows Task Manager. Microsoft uses this program to run a variety of services. Troubleshooting your problem requires advanced skills, nobody is going to just waltz in and tell you exactly what to do about...

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Does someone's political views keep you from getting to know them or are you open minded to the person and not their affiliations? It's more about the intensity of their attachment to those views than the views themselves, for me. There are extremes on both sides of every political issue, and someone who clings desperately to those extremes isn't likely to be a stable friend. Why? Because the reason people cling to those views tightly in most cases is because they lack a stable sense of self -- clinging to...

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What is the difference between VBScript and VBA? VBScript is an interpreted language that is used mainly in Internet Explorer and Windows shell programming. It's very primitive. VBA is a much more feature-complete interpreter which comes with a large library of functions. Either can be integrated into your application (if you want your app to be scriptable), but basically VBA is compatible with real Visual Basic (prior to the .Net...

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What should New Jersey's unofficial state motto be? - New Jersey: Don't dump on us. - New Jersey: Everybody has to live somewhere - New Jersey: Land of landfills - New Jersey: Eat your heart out, Bangladesh! - New Jersey: We like it like this. - New Jersey: To each their own, but don't take ours.

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Does anyone besides myself think Joe Cool has the kindest and sweetest soul? Please no points just post ... Joe Cool is cool!

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I'm agnostic but i really want to find a religion i can believe in but i just can't seem to find one. i use to be catholic. i looked into christianity didnt like it. looked into Judaism didn't seem to like it either. What now? I'm Buddhist, so you'll never guess my suggestion! :) Really, you don't need a religion. You DO need to be interested in your own spiritual development, and religion can provide some tools for making progress there. But if you think you need to belong to something, that's not the best reason to adopt a religious tradition. If you are interested in Buddhism, I've...

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What does the planet need saving from? From our own greed, ignorance, and fear. This is a relatively new concern in historical terms: now there are enough of us, and our technology is sufficiently advanced that we can do major damage to our own ecosystem. Our wisdom has not kept pace with either our numbers or technical ability. So the planet needs saving from US. And in a typical paradox, WE are the only ones who can do...

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How can someone deal with hating their job? Is this you or some friend? Details matter. - Do your best each day, even if you hate the job. - Don't complain. If you can do something to improve the job, do it. If you can change jobs, do that. But above all, don't complain idly. - Notice all of those thoughts about how terrible it is. Try not to get caught up in them -- stay present to here-and-now, and try to...

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Do you feel heartsick at the state of our (U.S.) government? Why / why not? I don't know if I can say that things are worse than before, there's always been a lot of ups and downs. Certainly this is not our finest hour. Unfortunately, I think the government really does reflect our character to a degree we don't wish to confront. If WE were about the values we claim to hold (liberty, justice, truth, compassion), we would elect officials who align...

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Is political correctness a requirement for asking smart questions? Every lash has it's backlash: the excessive preoccupation with avoiding offending anyone produced an anti-political-correctness wave, which has predictably become it's own form of malfunction and produced an anti-anti-political correctness wave. This is just what happens when simplistic concepts replace engaged and intelligent dialog: the pendulum swings back and forth -- from...

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I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people here who cared enough to be there for me when my mother was ill recently, sadly, my mum passed away earlier today (5thDec), would you include her in your prayers and thoughts tonight? Very sorry to hear that, MM. Best wishes for you and your family. May you find peace and heal.

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My Wife and I have been together for 9 years,have been married for 4 1/2. She is very co-dependant and does not have confidence to the point where she says I am the only good thing in her life and she will kill herself if I ever leave. Have you tried to get her some help? It sounds like she could really use a therapist. Beyond that, I think you're making a mistake to stay with her. You're not qualified to save someone who is that deeply messed up. She needs a professional, and you are not responsible for her decision to live or die. Obviously you want to treat her with kindness, but don't be hooked by...

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How to connect cable modum, computer and Linksys router? Modum has one ethernet port and one USB port. Linksys has 4 ports, no USB ports. Tried ethernet to router, and line from router to computer. Doesn't work. There is one port from the router which is the "upstream" port -- it is usually located separately from the other Ethernet ports. That port should be plugged into the cable modem's Ethernet port. Then you will plug the Ethernet port on the computer into one of the 4 peer Ethernet ports on the router. If all the devices are set up to default to DHCP (which is normally the...

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How are the exchange rates determined between currencies of different countries? The supply-and-demand balance of the currency markets determines this, influenced to some degree by central bank policies -- basically, the markets have the last word, but the central banks can manipulate it to some degree with various strategies. For example, if a Latin American airline wants to buy an airplane from Boeing, they need dollars to do it. They presumably have their own local...

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I know I'm prone to depression, but I've been having serious trouble concentrating, going to class, etc. Now it's starting to happen at work. What should I do? Everyone I know will be so disappointed if they find out this is happening again! It's not a good idea to let the fear of disappointing others dictate your approach to this problem. Depression is serious, and if you have a chronic problem with it you need a new attitude about it: stop acting like you're going to just get over it, and start managing it like you would manage any other chronic condition -- i.e. enlist your friends and family as a support network,...

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Please list what you think are the pro's and cons of the opposite sex and why? (Reprinted from an another answer I gave last year to a similar question, with permission from myself) Ok, let's try to keep this objective and fair (as boys would naturally do). I've developed a gender-neutral scoring system for the competition, which scientifically minimizes the probability of erroneous outcome. Then, to make the competition interesting, it's clear that...

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Can nudism to be obligatory? (I've seen a sign at some beaches) Only on the day we're born.

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Can u tell me who am i? I am expecting serious answers. I can give you a dozen answers to that question... the trouble is, none of them will be of any value to you. The problem with this question ("who am I?") is that there are many INCOMPLETE ways to answer it. At the simplistic level, people will answer with a description of their skills, history, personality, circumstances, likes and dislikes, etc: in other words, they'll...

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Which AB'ers do you think should be noticed more often than they currently are? Some of my favorite people who are not very well known, rather quiet, or relatively new: Ruby Doomsday Mr. Witch Wolfen SimplyKate flyforever_80

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The secret of life is? "This is it" It's really not a secret, but not many people know it... it's one of those secrets that's right out in the open for everyone to see, but gets ignored anyway because it doesn't SEEM very interesting. What does "this is it" mean? Well, normally we live our lives only partially PRESENT... as if we're waiting for something that's...

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Is there a point in trying to fix the actions of others? We're not them. We can't change people. Should we just leave it up to authority figures to deal with them and get on with our own lives? Just wondering what you think.:) I think you're right partially -- we're not them, and we can't change people, and we can't make their choices for them. But the opposite also has it's day in court: we all influence each other, often in subtle ways which are hard to see. "Role modeling" is an example of this: children get unconscious signals from which they learn how to grow up by...

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Is Windows Vista any better than XP, apart from looking prettier? Should I upgrade from XP to Vista? Strongly recommend you NOT upgrade to Vista. It's buggy and slow, and has a host of new ways to annoy the user. XP is stable, quick (on today's hardware), and relatively easy to maintain. In a couple of years, when M$ has cleaned up Vista's problems and the hardware is fast enough to not bog down, then would be a good time to upgrade. Note: I own Microsoft stock, I've...

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I'm terribly in love with my fiancee who reciprocates the affection and devotion. However, I am frightfully competitive with him as he is quite arrogant, and fiercely popular. How should I get rid of this feeling of envy? Your envy is really rooted in your self-doubt. When you're completely comfortable just being yourself, you'll not feel the need to prove yourself or compete with him. My recommendation is to learn to self-observe rather than act on those thoughts. Next time you feel the need to compete with him, try this -- instead of acting (or speaking) on the urge, sit or stand as still as you...

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I'm almost 19 and have smoked since it was legal to. My dad just recentally found out. I told him that I did it to get a girl I wanted to date interested, but there is no girl. Should I find a girl fast, or fess up? Perhaps this sounds a bit too parental, but by far the best thing you could do at this point is quit smoking. Your problems with your dad or girls will seem like trivial nonsense when you're 40 years old and struggling your best to quit the expensive poison.

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What are some of your worst job flubups? One of mine: We loaded $150k worth of servers in the bed of a new golf cart to roll accross the warehouse, only to discover it had a dump bed and the hinges didn't latch too good! I once wrote a bug for a microprocessor-controlled power system. The system was supporting an Intel chip fabrication plant in the Philipines. When the bug went off, so did the power... interrupting the operation of the plant and causing a half-million dollars of damage to chips in the process. The bug was one line of code that had a less-than symbol instead of greater-than.

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What is one movie that you saw that you do not want to see again? Eragon. I was dragged there by a 12-year-old boy, who read the book like 19 times. So it's all this dragons and wizards and spells and adventures, which is fine... but the dialog and direction and performances are wooden and dull and chock full of every fantasy cliche there is. When we walked out of the theater, I was careful not to say anything critical, because this was HIS idea...

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Would you join in with me in Congratulating our " redcatt63 " who is now a Sage? " Great Job " Of course! Redcatt63 is honest, intelligent, amusing, and generous. A very welcome addition to our little house of horrors! :)

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What's your most uprated question that's not related to Answerbag? "Who do you think you are?": http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/88007 Note: this was originally intended to provoke original thinking about the ordinary answers to "who am I?". It didn't really work well, most people just offered knee-jerk answers like "I'm me", or the predictable "Mr. Big Stuff!" If you follow the link and answer the...

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If a woman says she doesnt trust men...Why would she expose herself for attention to lure guys over her place? It depends on what she means by not trusting men. If she doesn't trust them not to hurt her emotionally (the most likely interpretation), then this behavior is understandable -- she's settling for casual sex in order to avoid the risk of real love. It's a heart-protection strategy. A healthy person wants to feel connected to others in a deep way. The normal ways we do this...

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If you're still in love with someone who has passed away, is there any hope that you can move on, even though you don't really want to? Sorry for your loss. Yes, it's possible to move on, but motivation is important. If you don't want to move on, certainly that's a big barrier. There's emotional trauma in a situation like this, and that trauma has to be "processed" psychologically... you have to live through the sadness, anger, guilt, and whatever other feelings and thoughts come up. ...

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Just brought a phillips router! the make is sna5630ns - bloke said it was broadband but has wire for dial up - useless with computers! can anyone help me figure it out? Apparently Phillips isn't too proud of this offspring, it's not found on their web site at all. It's unlikely that it has a "wire for dial up". I think you're mistaking the Ethernet connector for a phone connector probably. While I don't know this particular model, if you post a couple of pictures of the front and back we might be able to make some...

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I'm only 49, and I think I have some serious memory loss issues. What can I do to improve my memory or reduce the rate of decay? .

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Ok i had sex with a girl within 2-7 days before her period and used a condom.....and she obviously got her period....do we have to wait til next month to see if she gets her period or no? It's very unlikely that she's pregnant.

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Just a curiosity : If you will be elected as President of USA for 24 hours what you gonna do? Fake my own death and leave that crap to the VP!

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Why is the lotus flower such an important symbol in Buddhism? "May we exist in muddy water with purity like a lotus..." -- this is a line from a Buddhist gatha (sort of like a prayer, without the receiving deity). The idea is that spiritual maturity doesn't separate one from the "messiness" of life: in the midst of the suffering and difficulties of everyday life, true self has a purity which expresses itself here-and-now....

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Who would like to extend thanks to Highlander for asking over 5,000 soul-searching questions? Yah, Highlander has significantly raised the AB Question IQ single-handedly! Good stuff :)

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Why is it that you musn't clean Buddha statues? I've been practicing Zen Buddhism for 5 years in a formal setting, I've never heard this. We do clean the Buddha on the altar -- carefully, but it does get cleaned.

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What printer would you recommend as a reliable wireless solution for a Linksys network? It depends on whether this is for personal use or business (heavy duty). For personal printing, I've been thru a lot of different multifunction devices, and I've finally concluded that Canon is the brand I have the most success with... in terms of reliability. If you're getting a business printer, I'd advise leasing a fairly heavy unit from one of the big names... e.g. a...

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What kind of people are we? Many people worldwide die every day due to hunger and diseases, and we talk about trolls and points? It's true that there is tremendous suffering going on in the world -- not just overseas, but right here in our own back yard. Abused children who have no good options. Terminally ill people with nobody who cares to visit them. Impoverished people living on the edge in their cars. It can be quite overwhelming if we stop and let it all in. Your question is really a form of "what...

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Have you ever experienced being "in the zone"? It happens in sports (basketball) from time to time..it's where everything is perfection and you can do no wrong! Where is/was your "in the zone" moment(s)? Yes, this happens a lot. For me, basketball, piano, meditation, and good conversation are common activities, but it happens under nearly any circumstance. I would describe this as nothing more than "being present" -- i.e. the absence of being lost in thoughts, especially self-centered thoughts. It's really a central thing in Zen, so it's a topic I've studied a...

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Do you think that there are other 'people' living in another dimension? Depends: is Tom Cruise a 'person'?

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Is it possible to be a friend to everyone and yet still consider only few people your (close) friends? Why or why not? I think "friend to everyone" makes "friend" a meaningless word. It's good to try to be open and generous with everyone perhaps, as a goal, but "friend" suggests a personal connection. I don't have a personal connection with the guy in the lane next to me on the road. I might have a cooperative and friendly attitude, but it cheapens the word...

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What actor acts the same in every movie? I think Keanu Reeves holds the all time record for using the same facial expression in the widest variety of scenes. They say he's working on a second expression, but I'm reserving judgment.

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What is the best relaxation method? Hands down #1 winner is "meditation". But there's a catch: learning to do it properly isn't particularly relaxing, it takes time and effort. However, it's a skill that yields a lifetime of benefits, far beyond mudbaths and walks on the beach.

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What you will do if u find magic lamp? Climb back inside. Boy, am I tired of hearing everyone's 3 wishes!

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I have tried so far so many things like 'no comments' or like this to hide a particular emotion,but all are like in vain! how could i burried my anger, jealousy, pain (these three are most crucial) inside me? Why do you want to bury your anger, jealousy, and pain? I think this sounds like a Really Bad Idea(tm). The way to deal with negative emotions is NOT to "bury" them, it's to EXPERIENCE them fully. That means allowing yourself to feel angry, jealous, or painful. It does not mean "dumping" your pain on others, or acting it out... it means living the life that you...

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What do you know that I don't know? I know how to use C++ to create generic collections and iterators, and I know how to optimize an SQL query for maximum efficiency. But I'm most proud of my ability to make Kraft Mac n' Cheese on my own!

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Is money the root of all evil? Nope, and that's not the quote anyway... "the love of money is the root of all evil" is more accurate as a quote, but even that is false. The true root of all evil is the illusion of separate self.

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What's the worlds most popular Non Alcoholic Drink? Water.

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I bought a flip house that I ended up moving into. I purchased it for $105k and put $67K into it. It sold by owner for $163,000 so affectively I lost $9k. I owned it for 13mo. I have all my receipts. Does this situation constitute a captial gain? No, you have a capital loss, not gain. It can be used to offset other income when you file your taxes. Capital gains are calculated by subtracting your cost basis PLUS your investment from the sale value, so the money you put in to fix the place up reduces your capital gain, and can indeed make it negative.

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My friends claims to see "ghosts". She's getting really freaked out, and her Father thinks she's going through a phase. Any suggestions to make her feel better or find the source of her problem? Without commenting on the validity of what she's experiencing, what I would recommend is learning to just observe her experience as it is, without judgments or speculation. Experience is basically the intersection of 6 things: the 5 senses of smell, and our thoughts. All these things merge together in moment-to-moment consciousness, providing the totality of our immediate experience. ...

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How long does it takes to file for divorce ? Do you have too see him/her in person to serve him? Depends on what state and country you live in. In California, there's a 6-month minimum period between the time you file and the time a divorce can be granted. You do not need to meet face-to-face with your ex, the papers can be served through third parties (process servers, attorneys, etc.). However, if you can get along well enough with your ex to work out a settlement without the...

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Do you support the metaphysical position of Solipsism? As a position? No. As a line of inquiry? I think it's something everyone must consider -- nobody has any experience of reality beyond their own experience. What we call "objective reality" is a concept: an extrapolation from many individual experiences, strung together by memory. I set my cup down, I turn away. I turn back, something resembling my cup is there. I...

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I file head of household, for my home with one dependent. My daughter lives in my pool cottage with her 2 children, can she also file head of household, we are in seprate structures but only one address. what forms would we need to prove seprate HH. It doesn't matter that you have the same address, you can have 10 families in the same house and they can all have a separate head-of-household. What matters is "who is paying the support for the dependents?" In order to be a head of household, you must have a dependent, which means you must pay more than 50% of their living expenses. If you meet that criteria for your...

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What would be a good name for a parnormal group in Wisconsin? Preferrably the Acronym is a word Telecheese and the Cheesevoyants.

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What is your proactive idea for stopping racism in the U.S.? It's like a mountain. Just keep shoveling one scoop at a time, and don't look up to see the result.

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Mom raised us, my ? is, what's married life suppose to be like, normal daily activities? I never experienced dad/mom together, so I have a hard time being satisfied in my marriage, I fear being alone, but yet, wont be controlled, Im up & down, confused. 95% of being married is very mundane stuff: working, getting the house cleaned, paying bills, caring for the kids, etc. These responsibilities need to be divided up fairly, and each couple works out that division differently. The other 5% is more subtle, and it touches on your core concern -- what about being satisfied and happy? That's where it gets difficult: a couple who is...

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I once read a book on Eastern mystics. How wonderfully those civilizations picturized the GOD. They did explain many things that science explained in recent times. Can anyone tell me why people have'nt noticed those great works for long? None of that stuff is esoteric or hidden -- the mystics are saying the same thing that anybody can find out for themselves: life is whole, all is one. These "great works" are very noticed by those who are interested in that topic. Spiritual development takes time, and not everybody is interested. What happens is that people spend much of their lives chasing after what they think...

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Why live? When I start to sense that you're serious about this question (or ANY question, for that matter!), I'll be happy to chat about it... :)

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Why we fight each other for small things. We all have to meet death one day and everything will come to an end then. Humans r really stupids. What do u think? No, I don't think humans are stupid... I think they're confused. We fight each other for small things because we don't understand who and what we are, so we get attached to small things (religion, politics, wealth, ethnicity, whatever) as a way of making ourselves feel like "I'm somebody!" But in the end, death reminds us that we're nobody special -- and at...

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Is AB member AntigoneRising Gone from AB or just on break ? she hasen t been here since dec 11th, I miss her presence, I feel she had been unjustly mistreated by some. Is She gone for good? Antigone is quite used to being "mistreated" on Answerbag, since day 1 really. I think she'll be back, she's not bothered by that sort of thing. She's living in India now, so her timezone is out of sync with most other users, and her apartment in Virginia burned down in Decemeber, so I imagine she has bigger fish to fry right now.

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The AB East Coast Convention is going to be on February 23rd in NYC (Dave and Buster's). Are you attending? Will you harass er comment and make other people come? I was planning to come, but that plan has been cancelled.

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The best thing about AB(for me) is people reaching out to help one another,or simply listening. The worst thing is when our members suffer tragedies and there is nothing we can do about it. What is the "best/worst" about AB for you? The best part is the great friends I've made on AB. The worst part has been having some of those great friends betray my trust, becoming vicious, judgmental and conniving. Nobody can hurt you as much as those you've allowed to be close. But that will not stop me from making friends or trusting people on AB. Stand up, dust off, and keep walking.

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Has the U.S. government turned from a democracy into an Idiocracy? Maybe a Bucktocracy?

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My fiance has three children. Lately they've become very ill-behaved to the point I dread them coming over! We've talked to them, punished them, tried positive reinforcement..I know this is normal, but any advise on how to deal? Check out "Love and Logic" for an enlightened approach to managing children's behavior: http://www.loveandlogic.com/ However, given your situation -- marrying into an existing family -- it might be worth taking a look at whatever doubts are arising too. How much of your heart and mind are pulling back, resisting, and thinking "OMG... what am I getting myself...

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How do I kick this AB addiction. I haven't even been participating very long and now it's all I want to do! Seriously, that intensity of addiction does not last for most people. There are very few long-term baggers who could be described as "intensely addicted". It lasts for a while, and then one of two paths tend to emerge: either someone burns out in frustration or anger (i.e. from conflicts online), or they settle down and integrate their AB participation into their daily or weekly...

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I just noticed the "first thing that comes to mind" sub category in "outside the bag". Is it new or am i just going crazy? It's new. You have my permission to destroy it using whatever means necessary: extreme prejudice.

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How do you configure Windows XP SP2 to create file sizes of 4Gig or more? I don't understand your question. Windows XP can already create files larger than 4 GB. What are you trying to accomplish?

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Do pets suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder? (My cat seems to be sleeping more now.) Oh, she probably just has SRAS (Spoiled Rotten Animal Syndrome). That goes away as soon as you expect them to fetch their own food.

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What's it like to be in jail? It's like a really bad, smelly, noisy motel room with bars instead of windows, shared with roommates who want to kill you just because they're in a bad mood. On the plus side, it's very solidly constructed.

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Does anyone else think baby Godzilla (Son of Godzilla movie from around 1967) resembles Gary Coleman? I never noticed it before. But I have an unusual story about Gary Coleman.... I've met him. Or rather, I SAW him up close, more properly. I was working at Symantec in 2004 (the Norton Antivirus people). One day I was sitting in the lunchroom and some people came through buzzing about the fact that Gary Coleman was in the lobby! So, like any bored employee, I sauntered out to look,...

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What will happened when i reach level 100 at Answer Bag? It's never happened before, but I have an inside connection to the developers... so listen closely, you're the only person I've ever told: The moment a user hits level 100, the levels for ALL users will be reset to 1 and all points will instantly disappear. The staff call this "The Big Bang" in veiled and bemused tones... you'll find occasional references to...

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WHAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO LAYOUT A CURVE WITH A RADIUS OF 120 FEET AND IT IS 150 FEET LONG If you need a "clean" curve, you'll want some flexible and lightweight material that has some rigidity. For example, you could use PVC 1/2" pipe spliced together. You can get 20' lengths, they're inexpensive and easy to work with... or you could use wood moulding and butt-splice them into a 120' piece. Place posts in the ground to mark a few points on the...

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What lets different places (such as banks, hotels, airports, etc.) legally have different currency exchange rates for the same currency? Currencies are a commodity, just like anything else. In the U.S., the only currency legal for trade is the dollar: anything else is a foreign substance. So, if a hotel decides to accept your British pounds and give you dollars for them, it's "buying" your pounds... and it has a right to set the price it's willing to pay for them. The same thing happens on the large...

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If your spouse had an extra affair over 8 years ago should I stop bringing it up and throwing it in his face every time we get in a fight? When should I learn to let it go? It's hard to learn to "fight fair" in a relationship -- the temptation to win at any cost can be very high when you're dealing with someone who is close to you. There's an odd irony about love -- because our S/O's are the people who are closest to us, they are also the ones who can do the most damage... whenever they seem threatening, it's tempting to bring...

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I stop many off-duty soldiers for speeding. many tell me they are about to be deployed. we are talking 85 to 90 mph in a 55 zone. is a warning sufficient or should a citation be issued? Well that's why we pay you the big bananas, John: to make judgment calls! :)

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I live in a small town in oklahoma, I was served a notice to appear in court for "insulting language". I cursed at the utlity office and she filed a complaint with the police. What can they do to me? Sounds like somebody in OK needs a lesson in the Bill of Rights.

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Today (12-27-07) is Wolfen's 23rd wedding anniversary. Can we congratulate him and his stunningly gorgeous wife Claudia, and hope that they have many more wonderful years together? WTG Bro'! I'm sooooo jealous...lol Wolfen is a great guy. He plays that down (graciously enough), and raves about his wife regularly. Of course, this just makes every OTHER marriage seem pale and lifeless by comparison. I say we hunt him down and make him pay for his happiness.

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Why is it that I cant get any female friends who actually want to be around me, and only male friends who I seem to only get through flirting. What's wrong with me? I don't know you, so this is very speculative. If it doesn't ring true, please accept my apologies... You're lonely, isolated. You feel unloved, perhaps unlovable. Without quite being aware of it, this belief is a self-fulfilling prophecy: because you feel unworthy, you keep people at a distance so they won't see how you feel about yourself (that makes it more...

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I sent a m-order in the mail to canada On the envelope i wrote silver star blvd, scarborough, ontario, m1v5j9, Canada and it contained a money order and well i lost my copy of m-order and they havent received it yet and its been3-4 weeks and so what do i Locate the stub for the money order -- it's the tear-off part that you didn't send to the vendor. That will have the information you need to contact the company and trace the payment or halt it.

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I had been seeing a guy for 3 months. He ended up moving in with me and we both felt very strong that this relationship was "the one". Two weeks later he kisses me, tells me he loves me and he'll see me that night and left for work-I havent heard from him That's painful, I'm sure. Did you have a question about it?

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Was answerbag around in 1969 or is this a major bug? Please see my post in this thread. This is informed speculation: there's a common UNIX date type used in programming which represents 1/1/1970 as the value zero. It's likely that there's some bug in the system which assigned zero to the date for these questions, and when those dates are translated for display, they're rendered as being "slightly less than zero" (e.g. 12/31/69 23:59:59.9999)

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Why do I keep looking for love in all the wrong places? All places are wrong: you don't have to go looking for love when you're willing to be the source of it -- if you do that, it's everywhere. If you don't do that, it cannot be located.

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Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated today. Will the human race ever grow up and stop behaving like this toward each other? I don't know if the human race will ever grow up... but the phrase I prefer is "wake up" -- we're already pretty old. This should be our top priority. I don't mean "solving Pakistan's strife", I mean "waking ourselves up". What does it mean to wake up? It means ending our long sleep: the sleep of ignorance, delusion, greed, and fear. On...

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I Have A Hard Drive Controller that i cant find the drivers for. Does anyone know where I can find the drivers for this HD Controller? Promise PDC20269 Ultra133 TX2 Bus Master IDE Controller Have you seen this list? http://www.storagedrivers.com/companies/854.htm

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If an ant falls off an airplain does it dies when reach the ground or not? Probably not. Any object falling through the atmosphere has a "terminal velocity" -- it accelerates from the force of gravity until it reaches the point where the air resistance equals the gravitational acceleration. For a human being falling "spread eagle", that's about 125 miles per hour. For an ant, it's going to be much lower than that because the ant's...

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If you honestly believed (even "knew") that you were abducted by aliens last night, would you tell anyone, or chalk it up to a hallucination or incredibly vivid dream or something? Would your answer change if the aliens had rectally probed you? I love to share fun stories, but I don't think anybody needs to know about the tail end of it.

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Would you raise your glasses please and join me in congratulating seraphin on becoming sage WHOOPIE WELL DONE MATE? Congratulations, Seraphim! And welcome back, glad to see you couldn't stay away :)

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Do you think that relationship has to be a kind of barrier for own peronality development at some point? I know it should not be, but there is always something that makes us "the other person's partner"? I think that's a great question! But no, I don't think relationships are inherently a barrier to development, I think they're potentially a strong catalyst for development. There's nothing like bumping up against another person's rough edges every day to help you identify and refine your own shortcomings. If someone is paying attention, and committed to their own...

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If GOD is a perfect creator, all his creations too would have been perfect. But you can't find perfection anywhere in this universe. Does that mean the creater himself is not perfect? This is just one of a potentially infinite number of "paradoxes" which occur when we get caught up in abstractions, ideals, and metaphysics, and then try to do ordinary logic with them. Real spirituality isn't about answering abstract philosophical and metaphysical questions about the nature of God and reality, it's about disrupting the illusion of separation between...

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Where will I earn those 165 points until level 24? By doing your best at participating each time you log in: ask good, thought provoking questions, do your best when answering questions, be friendly, creative, and helpful. I suggest staying away from discussing your points publicly, that tends to produce a backlash.

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Why do people believe in luck? We want to have control over life in order to feel secure, and we'll often sacrifice our mental clarity to have it. If we can't have control, the next best thing is explanation -- "luck" is an explanatory device. Another part of this is that believing in luck relieves us of responsibility: "I'm just an unlucky person" diverts attention from any...

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My mom really got hurt tonight by someone for reasons that are private. What I don't understand is why God doesn't prevent these kinds of things from happening? I'm a firm believer in God but I can't help but question this. Can someone please help me? Nobody can help you until you let go of clinging to what you want to believe. I'm sorry about your mom, but if you're interested in the truth you have to quit trying to force it to match your preconceived ideas about it, and just observe what is so. Our preconceptions and beliefs act like a colored filter set in front of the eyes: we tend to see what we want to see, and block...

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My brother in law is rude to my family. my sister supports it and now he is trying to involve my parents. i have tried to talk to him about this, but it became worse. we have never done anything to him to warrent his behavior. what to do% I think you're going to have to post a lot more details to get anything very helpful here. Add an answer to your own question with more explanation, or put more comments here.

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My other half says 'your emotionally retarded, but quite cute' ... How would you handle this bitter body-blow? Did she actually say this to you or is it hypothetical? It's a cool phrase. Gotta admire her ability to turn it! On the serious side, many men ARE "emotionally retarded", in the sense that they don't have a lot of understanding of their own emotional territory, nor much capacity to appreciate a woman's different landscape. Guys are conditioned to be tough,...

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When did Answerbag start? In May of 2003. But exactly when depends on what you count as "starting". Here's the first ever answer posted: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1 And here's the first ever question: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1 And the first ever non-staff member, the legendary Brendan Lim :) http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=8

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How can I record whats happening on my computer screen for free? Hypercam has a free trial. After that you can register for $35 if you want to keep it: http://www.hyperionics.com/

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The 3 Wise Men brought frankincense, gold and myrrh to the stable. What would 3 Wise Women have brought? Nobody brought anything to the stable. I was there! :) But the women, if they wanted to bring stuff to the MANGER, would bring diapers, formula, and baby powder. Deity or not, nobody wants to listen to constant shrieking.

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I cant control my anger with my two-y-o daughter when it comes to nap and bedtime. She refuses to sleep and cries for an hour and still not fall asleep. I get so mad I have to go into the garage and scream, but not before I scream at her. pl It's good that you're trying to control your reaction. In addition to all the obvious things you should consider (walk away, breathe, relax, keep at the problem), I suggest you try a basic meditation technique: Sit upright in a chair. Remove all distractions (turn off the TV, etc.) Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Sit still, don't move any more than necessary. ...

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I want to be able to purchase a house by July. I have drawn up a draft of what our finances will look like if we save up $10,000 usd by then. The prob is that he hasn't been home (out of country) in 3 yrs and wants to go, I'm a little upset, is that bad? The question of whether or not it's bad for you to be upset is an irrelevant distraction. The question you need to work on is "how can we resolve the disagreement?" It's completely understandable that he would want to participate in choosing the house. It's completely understandable that you want to get the process moving as quickly as possible. So these two...

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P+R = 10; P+S = 7;Q+R = 8; Q+S = 9. What are P, Q, R and S? It's not considered polite to post your homework directly to AB. I can suggest a strategy for solving it, but won't do the solving for you: Choose one equation and solve for one unknown. That will leave an unknown on the right side, yes? Then, substitute that unknown by solving for it in one of the other equations where it appears. Replace the right-side expression of that...

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Anyone have any experience in the County Jail...? Yes, I've spent a total of about 7 days in the L.A. and Orange County jails -- when I was much younger. All in all, I can't rate it more than 1 1/2 stars: the food is poor, the rooms are noisy (and crowded), and some of the other guests are so unpleasant they should be locked up.

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Relationship Yes.

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If girls like confident guys, then(if you are a guy) what is the most confident thing you have done? or (if you are a girl) what is the most confident thing a guy can do? The best expression of confidence is to love someone completely without clinging.

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People always talk about Israel's "right to exist". Does Palestine also have a "right to exist"? No, I would say that neither state has an inherent "right to exist". Nations are abstractions, they don't have rights like a human being has rights. Sometimes we speak that way for convenience, but it's a sloppy way of speaking and thinking, and causes all sorts of trouble if taken too seriously. What is a nation? Is it the border on a map? The documents containing...

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Lately, I feel like I have noticed my husband looking at other women while he is with me. i always confront..and he always denies. could this just be insecurity on my part? I'd say you both need to lighten up a bit: he needs to stop pretending it isn't happening, and you need to relax the leash. Men look at other women, unless they're wound so tight that they can't be trusted with gunpowder. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it's just biological wiring. If he's not pursuing those impulses, he's doing what a...

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What are your thoughts on Barry Manilow and Barbra Streisand singing Christmas songs when they are Jewish? I can't get out of the elevator fast enough sometimes. Nothing to do with Jewishness! :)

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How would you feel if you found out that you were completely wrong about everything? Your religion, sense of reality, values, morality, politics, etc,. (I'm of the belief that a bit of momentary humility is required to answer this, though I may be wrong.) Ideally, my reaction would be some form of bemused "well that's interesting!" As a practical matter, there would surely be some shock. While it would be nice to be completely free of any attachment to ideas and beliefs, I certainly can't claim that level of refinement.

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What are Buddhist views on the creation of humankind and the universe? Buddhism doesn't bother with such things: they're considered to be questions outside of the legitimate scope of spiritual practice. The Buddha may have had views about these questions, but he remained silent about them. It is said that he said this to whomever asked about metaphysical questions: A man is shot with a poison arrow, but before the doctor pulls it out, he wants to...

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I am coding a conditional statement with four conditions. The data must meet the first, and needs to be any other of the other three to be included. I have tried to use if A and B or C or D, and it has not worked properly. Any ideas how to fix this? You haven't specified the language, so here's pseudocode: a=1 b=2 c=3 d=4 if (a==1) then if (b==2 OR c==3 OR d==4) then // success

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What separates you from all the others? Nothing.

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What's a human being without flaws? What are flaws with out rigid ideals?

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Do you think the people you've met here have become part of your REAL life, and that you've become a part of theirs? What makes you think that way? Oh yeah.

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What if a photographer asked to take pictures of you dresssed as a man. (imagine you're a woman) would you be flattered or offended? So wait... I'm supposed to first imagine that I'm a woman, imagining how I would feel if an imaginary photographer wanted me to dress up as an imaginary man? Um... I think it would be easier if I could just do my impression of Sean Connery pretending to be Oprah Winfrey. The other makes my head hurt.

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I have been seperated from my wife for over 2 years and have moved to another state since the seperation, do I still need to get a divorce or is the relationship just over? Also I have no idea where she lives anymore. You really should get a divorce, not just leave it hanging like that. If you didn't have any children or significant property together, you can probably get a "summary divorce", which is a fairly simple procedure. You do need to find her first though, because she has a right to respond to the divorce petition. If you can't find her after exerting serious effort, see a...

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How does a woman gain a man's respect? Does she have to do/prove something to him or should it go without saying that men should respect women, full stop? The only important step in gaining respect from others is to have respect for yourself. People sense that and respond to it. There's no point in trying to get others to respect you through some sort of conscious effort -- all that does is dramatize your self-doubt (who would seek respect except someone who believes they need it and don't have it?)

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How do you combat negative INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS? Lots of people recommend some form of positive thinking -- i.e. reframing or substituting negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I think that is (at best) a band-aid of little value. Yes, you can gain some minor improvements... it's better than just letting the negative thoughts rule your life... but it never really gets to the heart of the matter or resolves anything permanently. ...

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When you ask to be someone's "friend" on AB, can you see your status if your request is still pending or if it has been rejected? Do you get some kind of notice if you have been rejected? Just wondering... Thanks! Here's what you can tell: - After you make the request, if you go to their profile page BEFORE they accept the request, it will say "Friend request pending". - If they reject your request, you'll see "Add to friends" (because you can now re-request, if you want to be a pain in the a** :) - If they accept your request, you'll see "You are...

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What if a guy introduces both girls who he is seeing openly to his mom, what does that mean? It means he cares enough about his mother to introduce his friends, and trusts her not to interfere too much with his personal life.

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What kind of question do you prefer to see here on Answerbag. Serious, frivolous,philosophical, quiz or anyother? My favorite questions are the "I have a problem relationship" items. They're almost always asked by someone who is really suffering, because relationships cause more pain than just about anything. So if I can manage to "hit the target" with an answer on one of those, it's possible to make a real difference. That's hard to do, but very satisfying when it...

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What is a good way to tell a woman, whom you've never met before, that you are attracted to her? For example...when I see a woman in a shopping mall for the first time. How could I approach her and let her know I'd like to get to know her? Anytime you find yourself asking for how-to's and strategies in this arena, you can be sure you're on the wrong track. Women like CONFIDENT men, and confidence is inconsistent with trying to figure out the "right approach". Confidence doesn't get caught up in thinking about the matter, it just moves the feet over there and creates on the spot. Unfortunately, you...

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Do you think appointing more Community Leaders is a solution to the spamming we've been experiencing lately? Uh... yes. But not me, please :)

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How do you feel about dealing in absolutes? I have no problem with absolutes, I only have a problem with beliefs about absolutes. The old saying goes "those who know don't tell, those who tell don't know". What that means is "the truth is absolute, but when we talk about it things get dicey". The problem is simple: the truth cannot be REDUCED to concepts. It's as if the truth were 3-dimensional,...

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How can we prevent spammers from spamming like hell here on Answerbag? I sense it may not be a very popular solution, but more CLs would make a difference. The problem was much more severe before CLs came into existence, and the troubles this weekend can be laid in part on the fact that the CLs are mostly busy with Christmas socializing instead of chasing the refuse.

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Is NFS compatible with windows Vista? The only way I know of is to use "Windows Services for UNIX", which has been stripped down and renamed "Subsystem for UNIX-based applications (SUA)" and "Client for NFS v3" According to Wikipedia: Windows Vista Enterprise and Ultimate Editions also contain the Services for Unix components, now called the Subsystem for UNIX-based applications (SUA), and Client...

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How can you tell the difference between a date and two friends getting together if its a guy you've known for a long time? What difference does it make? The idea is to enjoy the company of the other person, regardless of what you call the situation. If you're looking for "what does it mean that we went out?", the best place to get that answer is by talking to your friend. There's no Bible which defines the difference between a date and "getting together" -- it's all about...

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I am suffereing from anxiety alot brought on by my own issues insecurities etc.. I have a hard time just turning off my brain from destructive neg thoughts. What is a good meditation tech for calming your mind and being positive and just feeling better? I've been practicing Zen meditation for about 5 years now, and strongly recommend it for this problem. You can find basic information about it here: http://www.mro.org/zmm/teachings/meditation.php Beyond that, you can "meditate" just about anywhere, simply by giving your full attention to the current moment. If you're washing the dishes, focus on the details of the...

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Who would like to join me in praying may God bless all faithful next year and to all atheists, well.. good luck? I'm betting that God would prefer to bless everyone, rather than start a fight about his own existence.

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Why do human beings need to be smart to survive yet other animals dumb as a brick, get along fine? Humans come with little in the way of pre-programmed instinct: in exchange, we have much greater adaptability and capacity for learning. A bee knows almost everything it will ever know when it hatches, and is highly adapted for very specific behaviors. Humans know very little by comparison, and have to learn a lot. But the bee has very limited potential: it's future is given almost...

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At a job interview.. how do i convince them that i can do the job and im very interested? because it seems like no one wants me.. even though i try but i guess im not trying hard enough.. There's some good advice in the other answers here. But my favorite interviewing tip is this: LISTEN. An interview is a strange situation, because it LOOKS like we're there to talk about ourselves and convince others that we're competent and intelligent and able and committed and.... well, you get the idea. While all of that is valid, it all has to ride on one central...

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Do we really have free will? Think real hard... Did you choose to ask that question? If so, then you have free will. If not, then the question is meaningless. That is, if you don't have free will, you won't have any say in the matter of whether or not you contemplate free will, or discuss it with others... you won't even have any say in what you believe about the matter. In short, if you don't have free will,...

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If you were out of work and needed a job, would you accept a job as a Wal-Mart Greeter? From a career standpoint, this makes no sense for me (I'm a programmer). But I can't resist putting in a word for "menial" jobs. We look down on them, we disparage the people who have them, we consider them to be a sign of failure or incompetence. In the taxonomy of the workplace, being a Wal-Mart greeter is just one step above being unemployable. But what about...

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How can the finite limited mind of man hope to understand the infinite and boundless mind of God? Are there not answers beyond our comprehension? Yes, certainly many things are beyond our comprehension. You don't have to consider the mind of God for that, even "simple" things defy comprehension -- we don't notice this, because we're highly motivated and conditioned to ignore paradox: it preserves that warm, fuzzy feeling that we understand. Here's an example: Mr. Jones wants the simple life, so he...

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Who said ''we will fight them on the beaches''.. and why? The Magic Surfer. He hates non-locals.

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Who's making Christmas cards for the mentally ill? My family is fine with store-bought, thankfully.

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Guys - how do you let a girl know that you like her? are there any sure fire signals? By far the best "signal" is to just come right out and tell her! If you're not ready for that, another good approach is give her a simple gift: something small, perhaps non-romantic, and inexpensive. A novelty, a figurine of her favorite character, a book you liked... the main thing is to put some thought into the selection. Then if you can't muster the courage to...

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Finish this sentence... "In the beginning ..." In the Beginning, Joel created the Byte and the Net. And Darkness was upon the face of the Net, and Joel said Let There Be Data, and let the data divide the Bag from the Net. And the Morning and the Evening were the first Bag Day. And Joel said let the Data take the form of Questions and Answers, and let the Questions end with a sign, that all may know them, and let the Answers have...

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Is confidence a matter of choice? Not primarily. Confidence is competence, combined with the absence of debilitating doubt. To be confident, you have to have the sense of being ABLE in a particular area, and that really only comes with competence... you've practiced, you've studied, you've done it before, etc. But even if someone is competent, they can still lack confidence because of unresolved self-doubt....

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I once read that the sum total of all human conversation falls into two categories: justifying one's position and talking about other people. What is your opinion on this? Well certainly there is lots of conversation which falls into these categories, but not ALL. I would say most of the really interesting conversations do NOT fall into these categories -- people sharing about their lives, exploring possibilities, trying to connect with others, expressing empathy, sharing insights, confessing to misdeeds, asking forgiveness, expressing love. I think you...

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Is "Because I said so" a valid answer to a question? It is if your parents are supporting you and you're living with them. It's every kid's least favorite answer, of course.... because there's no way to counter that with some new manipulation! :) I tried to avoid this answer when I was raising kids, but sometimes it's the only thing that restores order. Children simply aren't in a position to see all the factors...

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Do you think that "thinking for yourself" is a skill that has to be honed and practiced before one can become effective at it? Yes, I think you can develop that ability. I think there are two basic approaches, and they can be combined: 1. Awareness and challenge: This bit is about disrupting the automated and conditioned thinking which happens by itself. We all think stuff almost all the time, but what we think is usually a function of what we've picked up from cultural and other forms of conditioning....

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Is meditation like worry without the content? There are many kinds of meditation. As a Zen student, the type that I'm primarily trained in is called 'zazen'. Basically it's about sitting in a proper, upright, motionless posture and experiencing each moment just as it is, rather than getting lost in thinking. This is awareness practice: just being aware. I've been practicing for 5+ years, and can launch...

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Who are the four ghosts in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol? Jacob Marley appears first (Scrooge's old business partner), then we get the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future.

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Friend asked: If the sex is scarce & almost clinical, and the affection from her virtually non-existent, should I risk shattering my 10 yr. old son's world & end a 20 year marriage, or should I just stay and die inside a little bit more each day? Life is about being ALIVE. You don't do those around you any favors by trying to pretend something is alive after it has died. If he's sure the marriage is dead, the best thing for that child is divorce: it's not about having the ideal family, it's about having a REAL family... as in "authentic, alive, aware".

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Can anyone tell me some of the topics of the biggest hoax questions on AB (like the welcoming of the newbie who never existed)? I could, but most of the bigger hoaxes have a lot of angry people associated with them, and digging those matters up for public curiosity isn't my style. I've perpetrated a few benign hoaxes, such as this user: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=101179 (He does not actually exist) and this one: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=107110 (He was a one-day experiment in...

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Do you think that it is fair to allow only those who were once judged to be the judges? No. Cute question.

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Who thinks the earth is dying but all of the scientists and experts are just not saying so? Well yes, of course the Earth is dying. It's also being reborn continuously. That's what the word "life" means... this constant cycling of death and birth and change. If you mean just the geological aspects of the planet, that's different: we generally consider that the planet as a bunch of rocks and molten metal IS dead: it's the stuff on the surface (plants,...

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What could me and my family do to make this xmas more fun because xmas is also dull and the same every year. Any suggestions? Well, you could do what lots of other families do: argue about religion and politics, or fight over judgments about the behavior of a family member, or make yet another attempt to resolve some dispute from the past that keeps nagging at you every time you see them! :) Say what you will about these conflicts, but at least they're not boring... But really, it's probably time to dig...

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What are ethics based on? Philosophical attempts to answer this question are doomed (and they SOUND doom if you read them!) because they typically are founded on a misleading hidden assumption. The hidden assumption is that human beings are separate "units of existence" -- i.e. autonomous agents acting against an entirely independent background of reality. You could call this model the "Barbie Model...

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Time ago i was at home and i heard noises from the TV room and i went to see it, there was a rober pointing a gun at my brother, i got a pan and hit him in the head and then in his hand and got his gun,after that i called police.Did i do right thing? You did everything right except forgetting your medication.

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Do you believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy? No, I believe that a dozen Islamic radicals spontaneously woke up that morning and decided to hijack airplanes and fly them into buildings. There's no evidence that they planned anything.

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I would like to acknowledge ChandaDiane for her great contribution to AB! Would you like to join me? Well I think she's intelligent, thoughtful, funny, and friendly. So I guess that's a "yes" vote! :)

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When I go to a party, I often feel alone. So very, very alone. More alone than normal. It's really weird, because it's the one time I'm around a lot of people. Am I the only one? No, actually that's pretty common. When you're by yourself, there's nothing to produce the "contrast" that makes loneliness stand out. When you're in a crowd where there is social activity, the sense of being separate and isolated is much more noticeable, because you are having thoughts like "I should be making friends!" The question is... what to do...

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Should this question have been rejected as spam? Like it was. Or is it censorship? "Shouldn't JW's and Mormons be in the cult section rather than religions?" I don't think it should have been rejected at all. We need bigotry to be out in the open where everyone can see it for what it is.

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Has anyone heard from Turbowray lately? I seem to be missing her answers and comments. (no points please). Sorry, have not seen her in many months. Her profile says July 15 was her last login: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=100087 She was a nice lady.

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Does is cost more to rebuild home with attached garage or detached garage - all other factors equal? If all factors are indeed equal (which is never true in real life!), the attached garage would be cheaper because it can share a wall with the house and have a simpler roof structure. One less wall to build!

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Why did the tacoma narrows bridge blown up The bridge didn't "blown up", it failed in a storm because the wind caused catastrophic resonance. No terrorism involved. The video is interesting:

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How to delete questions from answerbag- if not answered? Nope, sorry. Only the staff can do this.

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What do you think the most useful invention/innovation is? In the entire history of mankind, there have been many wonderful and valuable innovations. But nothing humans have ever devised can compare with the majestic brilliance of the Unsubscribe button.

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When people argue about subjects like politics or religion, do you think it is reasonable for them to expect that they will change any minds? It's hard to have good conversations on these topics, but it's not impossible. Furthermore, these topics can produce some of the BEST dialog -- because they're the things many people care passionately about. People tend to get very attached to their views about politics and religion, because these issues are fundamental to their sense of identity. So, if you challenge...

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Rush Limbaugh states we can NOT hurt the planet - what do you think? I think he's done enough damage by himself for this round. Time to go sit in the corner for a while and let others have a turn.

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A Croatian rock star accused of anti-Semitism will be forced to undergo tolerance counselling as a condition of entry to Australia. Do you think this is a good idea? I can't think -- I'm still in shock from the news that there are Croation rock stars.

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The new Australian government is going to pass the laws that make same sex marriage legal and afford the same legal rights to it as hetrosexual marriage ... I say its about time do you agree? Yes, I agree.

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Our HOA has had the same board members and president for a very long period of time. We have asked to see the rules/regulations of the HOA so that we can learn how to become board members, etc. We have had no results. Is this regulated? The association surely had a charter document which defined how this worked in the beginning. In a lot of HOAs, the board becomes very entrenched simply because only a few homeowners show up and care enough to be involved. This can lead to some idiosyncratic ruling bodies, who care more about "being someone special" than they do about running the community. You are certainly...

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The past few years Fox News was babbling about the "Liberals" and the "War on Christmas". I haven't heard much about it this year. Are we still at war with Christmas and if so, did we bomb the North Pole? Yes, the liberals won the war on Christmas. Santa surrendered, and the North Pole is now in enemy hands. Expect lots of peacemaking and gay music this year, with a heavy disgusting dose of brotherly love, generosity to all, and forgiveness. But don't fret: there is an entrenched underground still alive, determined to cast off the oppressive liberal invaders and return to a more...

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I was writing a poem about a picture showing soldiers carrying a comrade for school. What do y'all think? Pride From afar: To some, an arms race To some, a resolution To some, a waste Up close: To some, soldiers carrying the wounded To some, they carry th Post your poem as an answer to your own question, nobody can read it this way.

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I am the same one, even if the one is no more there. Who am I? You are iwnit1, having updated his username to exploit the fact that the 6 character minimum is gone. I don't think this will be "Riddle of the Year", sir! :)

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Why do humans try to pin God down to a definition when by His own nature he is beyond defining? The moment you say "he" you've defined God. If you say "he is beyond defining", that's another definition. If you suggest "he has a nature" that's more definition. Humans try to pin God down because they try to pin everything down: we're addicted to conceptualization. Why? Because ideas are the junk food of understanding: convenient, easy...

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My (smart, with-a-degree) husband has been actively looking for work for several months now with no luck. What can I say to help keep him from feeling like a failure? Nobody is "a failure" -- that's a label, an oversimplification, a generalization. The TRUTH is that he's made X number of phone calls, gone on Y number of interviews, and does not have a job at this time. Period. That's the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Everything else is interpretation: "I'm a failure" or "There's a job out...

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If I own a legal Windows XP product key but lost the installation CD, is it unethical to download and burn the CD? No, it's fine. The product key is your license... the binary image on it's own isn't what they really care about.

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"God speaks to philosophers in the language of philosophers and to simple souls in the language of the simple ones, and only to these last does He reveal truths hidden from the wise and prudent of this world." Do you approve this statement? Well I'm always up for philosopher bashing, so sure!

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Who was the first user of Answerbag? This guy has the lowest-numbered profile with activity. Strangely enough, he's also the founder (Joel Downs): http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=4 For non-staff users, the generally accepted answer is Brendan Lim: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=8

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How do you connect a cable tv to a cable modem? Technically, you don't. The cable TV has nothing to do with the cable modem, the only thing they have in common is that they both get their signal from the cable system. So, the cable comes into your home, then there's a simple signal splitter -- a little box with 3 or more connectors: one for the cable system, one for the TV, and one for the cable modem. The cable modem...

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In "A Christmas Carol" written by Charles Dickens, in 1846, what was the very last spirits original name, and why did he not speak to, or with, Ebenezer Scrooge? You mean The Ghost of Christmas Future? His real name is Fred. :) He was just being silent to be all scary and sh*t. Effective, yes?

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Do he have other kids that i dont no about he do he dont tell u so u dont mess dem up

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When does life begin? This is one of those sensible-sounding questions that only SEEMS answerable. The trouble is there are lots of valid answers, but none that is absolutely true. Because people pick their favorite valid answer, and typically promote it (unconsciously) to Absolute Truth, we end up with lots of conflicts about it. The problem isn't that answer "A" is right and answer...

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How did Answer bag begin? In the Beginning, Joel created the Byte and the Net. And Darkness was upon the face of the Net, and Joel said Let There Be Data, and let the data divide the Bag from the Net. And the Morning and the Evening were the first Bag Day. And Joel said let the Data take the form of Questions and Answers, and let the Questions end with a sign, that all may know them, and let the Answers have...

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Does knowledge of history make a political decisionmaker (like the President of a nation) a better expert? If a person went to Harvard and got his degree in history, would he be a qualified expert and a competent political decisionmaker? I think it's good to know history, certainly. For example, if you're going to try to do anything useful in the Middle East, it's got to be helpful to understand how the current situation came to be, because the long-standing resentments and mistrust only make sense if you know the endless back-and-forth that has taken place over time. But history alone isn't adequate to...

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Is one more or less qualified to offer relationship advice if one has a history of failed relationships? I see some great relationship advice from people whose own relationships are a mess. It's always easier to see someone else's problems than it is to see our own, I suppose. Also, not all relationship problems are created equal. In some cases, it's obvious what is going on in the dynamics of another person's relationship because it's just not that complicated (i.e....

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How does one figure out who one is? It is impossible to "figure out" who you are. "Figuring out" is one of the bad habits you have to drop along the way when pursuing the quest for true self. True self is not an idea, an image, a concept. There's no way to reduce it to a bunch of words or thoughts, therefore it cannot be the object of words and thoughts, except in a very metaphorical way. The...

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What does identity mean to you? Identity is what Buddhism calls "conventional truth" -- i.e. something that is true enough to be practical and useful, but not true in an absolute sense. In an absolute sense, there's no such thing as identity, because there are no absolute boundaries between things, no absolute definition of a thing, and no essence of things: all things arise as a result of conditions, and...

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When someone is sad, people say well lets boost your spirits then. Do You think maybe some people dont have spirits to lift in the first place? Trying to boost their spirits is usually a mistake. (But no, the use of the word "spirits" there just means "mood", I don't have a problem with it... we're not talking metaphysics here) But when someone is sad, the best thing for them to do is to experience being sad -- to let it fully "metabolize" as an emotional and psychological process. Sadness...

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What do you have in common with your avatar? We both frighten me in the mirror.

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Is there any such thing as original thought anymore or we're all just regurgitating the same old ideas into a melting pot of mediocrity? Regime change starts at home.

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Have you ever thought that you needed more out of your life and finally come to the realization that everything you need or could ever want is what you have always had? Yes, I've often been caught up in thinking I need more out of life -- there's no question that this is an idea that deserves to be challenged. But the 2nd thought is also defective: it's not true that everything I need or could ever want is what I have always had. I can need or want all sorts of things that I don't have, and can never have. Trying to "realize this...

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What approach should we take to defeat? To really "wake up", one must stop thinking in terms of victory and defeat. These terms are useful in a limited way (i.e. somebody has to win the football game), but it's important to see that the designation of winning and losing is entirely a matter of humans speaking and thinking -- there's no winning or losing in nature. WE made that idea up. Everything just is what...

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What monumental thing did GWB do on his 40th birthday? He pronounced "nuclear" correctly. But it didn't stick.

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I'm leaving, bye. Sorry to see you go, Seraphim. Obviously everybody has to make their own choices about this kind of thing, but you're always welcome back in my book.

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What was the last movie you watched? "Flight Plan" with Jodie Foster. Taut, exciting, carefully crafted. I liked it a lot more than I expected to!

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Can I retrive all my old questions from answerbag, if so how? You can read them page-by-page on your profile, but that's quite tedious. If you mean "can I download them in bulk", the answer is no... at least, there's no built-in feature for that. It is possible to write a script to do it if you're a programmer, but there's no way for a non-technical user to do that.

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Can you take criticism without being offended? I dunno. I'm more interested in being able to be offended without acting on that feeling.

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Why does love make us so insecure? Love only works if you can be OPEN -- that bit about letting another person into your life means lowering the self-protective barriers. When you lower the protective walls, it's quite natural to feel "exposed" to the raw experience of being alive... less comfortable, less secure, less certain. Those are GOOD things -- having some security is fine, of course, if you mean...

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Every 5 or 10 minutes our stool (toilet) will cycle on for a few seconds and cycle off than repeatdoes anyone know why? (no floater ball) i've moved the hook thing to a different hole on that bar attached to the handle but still does it The tank valve is leaking slowly. When you flush the toilet, the tank valve is the large flapper which opens up and lets the water rush down into the bowl. It floats for a few seconds in the water, then when the water is gone it flops back down onto its seat and seals the tank. The tank refills, and when the tank is full the fill valve shuts off. But, if the tank valve is leaking, the...

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If inventional were a word, what would it mean? By the power vested in me, I hereby designate "inventional" as a REAL word, and grant it the following meaning: To act with creative and spontaneous intention: i.e. to invent as you go along. "I thought the way he handled that customer was quite inventional".

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I'm writing a screenplay about an crackhead in space. I call it "Crackhead in Space". Your thoughts? I think you're right on the verge of being amusing... it needs something though... maybe a bit of irony?

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Can I PLEASE have a hug? I'm feeling on the down side today. My wife took the kids and left me. Sorry 'bout that. I guess I'm not quite ready for a hug, but if you wanna talk just leave a comment :)

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While playing basketball, if a shooter shoots the ball and only hits the backboard can he rebound his own missed shot and reshoot it? Yes, it's completely playable.

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(For the men): Does it impress/surprise(/get no reaction from) you when a female can drive a stick shift car? If it did, I would be smart enough not to risk my life by mentioning it.

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What is Avogadro's Number? (714) 555-7839. Please don't call after 9.

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How can you legally get high? Learn to appreciate life just as it is.

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Does anyone else here think that gtravels is Community Leader material? Yah.

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I recently found out my wife of many years had an affair with an old flame everything is mine ,she had nothing coming in she gets nothing when I boot her.Is that ok? By default, she is entitled to half of all assets acquired during the marriage in most states. If you want something other than that, the lawyers will help you fight it out (well, "help" is a funny word... let's say the cost and conflict will go up dramatically). Is it worth the hassle, pain, and cost? That's what you'll be asking a few months after this starts.

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Do you ever feel that life is just passing you by and if so at what rate is it passing and is there a way to stop it or slow it down,mine seems to be going the speed of a bullet. No, I know the feeling, but I don't have it anymore. What cured that is making hard choices about what to do with my life in recent years: taking up Zen practice, changing jobs, spending time doing volunteer work, rearranging my friendships and relationships dramatically... basically facing the reality of the fact that MY life will not last forever, and there's no...

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What I choose to do is no concern to you or your friends - Is this true? No, very false. It comes from the distorted notion that a human is a separate island unto themself. But there are no actions (or inactions) which have no consequences whatsoever for others... if you look closely enough, there are so many interconnections that it's impossible to rule out causal relationships between apparently private acts and public effects. For example, your choice...

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What is the "One thing" that people will spend the rest of their life looking for? Someone to explain frequent flier plans.

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What did your parents do as a profession when you were little? My father had all of the following jobs: - Steamfitter - Draftsman - Plumber - Carpenter - Charter pilot - Baptist minister - Prison inmate. I'll never be a match for versatility. I'm a programmer.

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Can a processor be tested to find out if it is good Yes, but you need VERY expensive and complicated equipment to do that. It's much more practical to just pop it into a computer and see if the computer runs.

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If you could find out only one fact about every person you met, what fact would you want to know? I think "how do you behave under stress?" I think that's a good measure of someone's development. Lots of us are nice and intelligent and likable and helpful when we're feeling fine, the question is "what happens when you're in pain?" Are you vicious or cruel? Do you forget all of your manners? Do you trash your own behavior standards and beat up on...

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Do you ever ask a question hoping certain ABers will answer? Yep. I'm always looking for new people who have interesting things to say. One of my new "finds" is fly_forever80, a real live commercial airline pilot who answers a bunch of flight questions and writes very well: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=207108 You just never know what you'll stumble onto if you keep reading random answers on the home page!

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I need help finding a xmas gift for my brother-in-law... he is 29, has no hobbies or friends to hang out with... he's a lonely guy whose wife is a pain in the @$$ (I know this because I'm her sister) - I feel bad for him... any ideas? I don't have a specific gift suggestion, but I've found this site very helpful myself when shopping for others, especially when I can't think of a gift idea on my own: http://tinyurl.com/yq9rzs Note: it's time for express shipping, of course!

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(Men) Do you ever lie to your girlfriend or wife about other girls coming on to you, just to make them jealous? Uh... no. It's hard enough to keep someone from becoming jealous, why would someone INTENTIONALLY try to make them jealous? That's bizarre and cruel.

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Who said: "are there no prisons? are there no workhouses?" Why did they say it? Ebenezer Scrooge (in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" ) is credited with this gem. He was speaking to a couple of businessmen who were trying to collect money for the poor at Christmas. Scrooge declined, and uttered this quote to make the point that the poor were undeserving of any more than the prisons and workhouses provided at the time. He was what we call "a...

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Can Satan Tempt me to do Evil If I was, for the puprose of this question, able to run around on Mars or even as far off as Pluto or Sedna? Can satan Temp any of God's creations on other planets or is he stuck here on Earth? His contract allows him a 92 million mile temptation radius for standard high sins, and 173.2 million miles for ordinary sins. It was 180 million and 360 million miles respectively up until the birth of Christ, then dropped back to it's current level. So that would include the inner planets (Venus, Mercury, Earth) but certainly not include Pluto or even Saturn. One interesting twist...

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Do you agree with PC World that Microsoft Vista was the Biggest Tech Disappointment of 2007? I don't know if I could call it a disappointment, because my expectations were so low to start with. But it's definitely a step backwards. I hate to say it, because I still have some Microsoft stock... but as a computer user and programmer, I cringe when having to deal with Vista.

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Does anyone have an Answerbag T-shirt? Shouldn't you get a free one if achieve a certain level? Carmella and Eli Lies have T-shirts. I've seen them. Let's just say I'm not going to stand in line :)

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I'm trying to get divorce, but a lawyer costs too much. How do I get divorce with no lawyer? My husband and I agree to divorce and have joint custody of our child. Can we still get divorce without a lawyer if we agree together on everything, and where do I start? There are books in the bookstore (see the Law Reference) section that will get you started. They explain the laws in your state, what forms you need (and the forms may even be included on a CD with the book), and can help guide you through the process. One thing to bear in mind about lawyers -- the moment THEY get involved, the cost and struggle go up significantly. Lawyers are very...

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It is profitable in terms of money to run a commercial website? Most commercial attempts to make money on the web lose money. It's devilishly difficult to come up with a business model that works and pays the bills and can't be instantly cloned by the competition. One model that does work fairly well is presenting customized content that is advertising supported -- some sort of useful information or online resource that people can use for...

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Why does the UK have its own AnswerBag? (see the link at the bottom of the page) Other than the mousetrap and Keeley Hazell, what have they done to deserve the special distinction? No, the www.answerbag.co.uk site is exactly the same database as the www.answerbag.com site. The IP addresses match and the map to the same physical application code.

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Have you been downrated and had no idea why? Yes - but only once. Everybody else has left me beautiful explanatory comments that have helped me see a different side of myself and become a better person! Gosh it's great that people are so kind and thoughtful...

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Do you ever have the overwhelming desire to explain the way you think to others, but are hesitant to do so because you're aware that it's so unique and individual that they may not understand your interpretation of reality and existence? I know that I do. Yes, but when I have those thoughts I know I'm off base. I'm not that unique and individual, nobody is. We all have far more in common than not, and the "illusion of separateness" produced by this kind of thinking is capable of creating deep delusions about the nature of our lives: you are not an island, I am not an island, and "others" are not islands. Yes,...

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Lately I've been feeling that one day soon, my boyfriend is going to realize that he can get someone better. Whether it's someone with a better body or a better personality.. is there anything I can do to spice up our relationship at all? I think that's the wrong approach (trying to spice up your relationship as a reaction to this fear). There's nothing wrong with spicing up your relationship, but it won't take care of the anxiety you're noticing. The problem with this mental state is that it tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy: because you're feeling insecure, you start behaving in strange...

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I have a wonderful fiance who i love to bits, but he has a 6yr old son, why do i see this as such a problem? and get jealous? the kid really likes me and i really like him, advice would be great? At some level, you know that you cannot compete with the bond he has with his son. That triggers insecurities -- "why can't I have ALL of his love?". It's not bad, don't beat yourself up about it, but DO be aware of it... and don't allow it to sabotage your relationship with your fiance or the child. It can take many years to work through your own issues about...

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How can I be sure I am not way too "clingy"? I am not jealousy driven or possesive, I just like to pay LOTS of attention to my s/o. I am just afraid I am too clingy. The way to avoid this trap (or any trap) is to keep paying attention to here-and-now. That's much trickier than it sounds, because our minds are belief factories -- constantly spitting out ideas and interpretations and conclusions about what is going on, and we routinely take these thoughts for reality. When we do that, we stop paying attention to reality as it is, and substitute our...

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What are you soposed to think of life wen you know its just a lie and you know we live are lives just like ants. Back and forth over and over again until we all die. Its all more complicated then that i know but still, are lives are vary insignificant. You're right, our lives are very insignificant -- from that perspective. And it's a valid perspective, it's just not the ONLY valid one. That view is the end-product of unrestrained "naive realism": the view that objective reality is absolute truth, that we're all separate objects in a sea of separate objects in a disinterested and mechanical universe....

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What AB'er do you think most needs a hug right now? (hint: it's me.) Do side hugs count? That's what we're taught these days :)

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Why do Hewlett-Packard ink cartridges cost so [unprintable adverb intensifier] much? Most printer cartridges are expensive. In the business, these are called "consumables" -- they're the true cash cow. The manufacturers may even lose money on the printer itself (isn't it amazing how cheap they are for all those functions?), but they make it back on the consumables. The reason there are SO MANY different kinds of cartridges is simple: the constant...

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Two idiots have come up with the theory ''stillme'' is my sockpuppet. Apart from the fact anyone with an IQ above a tadpole can see this is ludicrous, I think it's vaguely amusing. Would you like to help me congratulate these morons for being so moronic? It does seem rather far-fetched.

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Is everything in life conected to everything? Well... No. Sometimes it's convenient to talk that way, but it's not precisely accurate. The more accurate way to say it is "nothing is separate from the whole". That is -- the IDEA of separate things is false. There's no thing you can find, no matter how hard you look, which has an independent existence: things come into being as a result of causes and...

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Would there be obvious obstacles for a good relationship between a moderately patriarchal good ol' boy and an outspoken feminist artist? Awwww, Kate! Well I hope it works out. But lets just see: - Opposite ends of the political spectrum, most likely. - Patriarchal male and outspoken female: less than perfect synchronicity. - Artist and anybody else: danger. Still, they say that relationships are all about rubbing off on each other. Maybe you'll grow some enthusiasm for military enterprises, or suppress your...

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What results do you get when you search your AB name on "Search for Answers"? 29 results, all harshly critical: http://www.answerbag.com/search?search=Stableboy

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What is the best programming language for complete strangers to programming to learn on their own? That will start an endless argument! I suggest choosing one of the following: Python, Ruby, or Java. They are all cross-platform (so your skills are useful on more than one operating system), they are all freely available, they're all fairly modern, straightforward, and well-designed, and they're all in active use (in case you are aiming for a job in the field some day). No...

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Do you think that question with the hardest answer is "What am I to think?" or "What am I to do?"? No, I think the hardest question to answer is "Who am I?", which could be paraphrased "What does it mean to say 'I'?"

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How old are you? Everyone is 32.3 years old, and 5' 7" tall. Everyone.

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What Does It Mean When A Girl Says Shes Confused, After Ive Just Poured My Heart Out To Her? It means that was not the right approach. "Guy pouring his heart out to her" generally means "guy clinging to her". Not generally a good idea. I'm not saying there aren't times to pour your heart out, the question is "what are you pouring?" If you think you NEED her to be OK, that's not something you want to publish -- that's something...

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Why is it that most people automatically assume that a reason-based solution will work for an emotion-based problem? I really don't know what an "emotion-based" problem would be, but there's lots of problems that don't submit to a reason-based solution. You can't chop life up into little bits of logical syllogisms and expect to be able to operate creatively and effectively. Dealing with difficult problems is like learning to dance -- you have to be able to flow with the...

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In your opinion, what's the most tasteless thing about Christmas as it exists in the U.S.? - "The 12 Days of Christmas" is 11 days too long. - "The Little Drummer Boy" is like being beaten to death slowly by Nerf bats. - Please don't let Neil Sedaka record Christmas songs. - Large inflatable plastic snowmen. 'Nuff said. - The shopping season does NOT start in June. They're liars. - The Mall: it's history. Shop online people,...

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What's your favorite Simon & Garfunkle song? The Boxer.

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Mouse pointer stops intermittantly, Dell Inspiron 8600 with Microsoft Vista, running Stopzilla antivirus/worm. Anyone figure this out yet? Running an antivirus program in Vista is like building a little toy Trojan horse inside a big Trojan horse. Ironic, but useless. Dump the Vista, install XP, and live again! :) Ok, seriously -- you may not be able to dump the Vista, depends on whether the PC supports XP. But Vista sucks.

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If my 16 yr old works, but is still my dependant, will she file her own tax return? If not what happens to the tax they take out of her payroll? If you're supplying more than half of her support, you can claim her as a dependent -- even if she has to file a tax return herself. She must make more than the minimum to file a tax return (I think its $600), and can't claim herself as an exemption if you are claiming her. Financially, the best thing is probably for you to claim her, because that deduction will be worth more to...

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I leased a car and my miles are higher then they are on the cotract and I have a year left on the lease. What do I do now? Start planning to get hit for excess mileage charges at the end of the lease. This can be a pretty big bill, depending on how much you drive and the per-mile charge. It's one of the big downsides of leasing a vehicle. When you trade the car in, that sum will show up in the transaction as something which gets rolled into the financed amount for your new car -- presuming you do what...

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What if i live in nostalgium about people met in the past, if i know i will never see them again in my life. I hold so much paint about that... It's normal to have pain about lost friendships, the question is whether you're facing forward or backward in life. You can't hang on to the past, it always slips away like a river passing a bridge. If you try to hang on to it, the result is suffering. Each moment is a new opportunity to be alive: to let go of what was, to embrace what is, and to create what will be....

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During an argument on AB, would you try to intimidate your opponent and/or outright end the discussion by pointing out that your level is higher than theirs? (i.e. "I'm at level 1,020,359 and you're at 7, so I'm better than you." Or whatever.) No, and in over a year of active participation, I've never seen anybody else do that either. Anybody who tried that would immediately be baked and flailed in the comment threads! :)

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Have you ever had a co-worker fired for stealing, downloading porn, or whatever? No, but I work for a company that makes Internet security and filtering equipment (yes, the evil censors who prevent children from going to Hustler.com in the school library). These devices are also used by corporations to track strange things going on with employee web usage. Among the more interesting people who have been fired as a result of this information: - One employee was busted...

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Let's see if we can challenge each other... Post the deepest, most intriguing idea, question, suggestion, etc that you know of / can find. I'd love to see some really powerful philosophies and ideas ; ) Hmm... Well, you and I have been in this territory before, but I can't avoid repeating myself. The biggest challenge with regard to ideas is to learn the nature and limitations of ideas. "Idea addiction" is a serious ailment that requires serious medicine -- the medicine is awareness: learning to OBSERVE reality as it is, rather than CONCEPTUALIZE it. Observation reveals...

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For what reason would you unsubscribe from comments?Have you done that before? I LIVE to unsubscribe! Before this feature came along, I was caught in comment thread Hell. I unsubscribe for the flimsiest of reasons -- because two other people have taken over the thread with a topic I'm not interested in, or because someone is being rude without cause, or because I just wanna feel the satisfying click of the "Leave me Alone Please" button! As much as I...

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What's your favorite philosophical statement? "Philosophers are like film critics: they're really talking to each other, and neither is doing real work." - Me.

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Can I claim a spouse who is incarcerated as a dependent? Can I file head of household? No. You must provide at least half of a person's support cost to claim them as a dependent, unless otherwise indicated by a court order such as a divorce. If he is in prison, the state is providing the bulk of his support.

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I need to write a program in c++.can u give me an examples answer for the question that must edit a file. Your question doesn't really make sense. You might try clarifying it in the comment thread. If you're asking someone to tell you how to write a program that can edit a file, that's a pretty tall order. Editors are complicated animals, it would be pretty strange for the teacher to assign that to you as a beginning exercise.

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My cat was in a fight a couple nights ago and now has a wound on his head. He keeps scratching at it and making the scab come off. What can I use to keep him from scratching at his head until it heals? What the vets always do in my experience is put on one of those cones that are closed around the neck... it prevents the cat from touching their own head. The cats hate it, but it allows the wound to heal.

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Who is da buddhism leader? There are some prominent Buddhist teachers and leaders: the Dalai Lama, Ticht Naht Hanh, Joseph Goldstein... it's a pretty long list really. But there's no central organization responsible for Buddhism, certainly nothing equivalent to the Catholic church and Pope in structure. Buddhism doesn't emphasize the roles of leaders -- the true leader is yourself: it's your job...

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Has any philosopher said that the line between subject and object is arbitrary and can equally well be drawn at any of a number of different places? This is actually a central idea in Buddhism, and challenging the rigid definition of self vs. other is a basic training approach. The list of Buddhist teachers who've spoken on the topic would cover a football field! :) (I'm a Zen student, btw)

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My left wrist aches so much. What are some home remedies for it? You're doing a lot on the keyboard, yes? Any chance it's connected? I'm a programmer... years ago I thought I was going to have to change careers because of severe wrist pain from so much typing. But I bought one of those split-angle keyboards, and the problem went away within a week, and has never come back. Saved my career, for $100! :)

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I'm going on a job interview tomorrow, any last minute advice? I've had many, many job interviews, and been hired many times, and listened to LOTS of interviewing advice. I think that advice generally misses the most important thing, and gets people focusing on trivialities like eye contact or not saying anything negative or firm handshakes, etc. The most important thing in a job interview, by a factor of 4 at least, is this: LISTEN. Pay...

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What is your first impression when you hear Pontiac Fiero? So much rust, so little time.

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What's the illness called where your body grows normally, but your brain is like a child? Politics.

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Would anyone like to say a few words to convince our nearly dearly departed Sage and my bestest friend misshell to stay amongst us and enlighten us with her insightful answers and delightful anecdotes on this beautifully flawed site? I thought everybody liked misshell, I don't know why she's leaving. But sometimes there's all sorts of behind-the-scenes drama going on that isn't visible, and people need a break for that or other personal reasons. I hope it's not permanent, she's a good egg... even if the shell is a bit cracked! :)

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Every time I try to sign into my msn I get an error message (error 8100030d). I've looked up the error and tried fixing it, no luck. My friends told me to uninstall then reinstall msn, but my mom told me it will delete HER contacts. Please Help Me! Reinstalling MSN should not have any affect on her contacts -- the data and the program are maintained separately, and you can reinstall the program safely. It may not solve your problem, however. Have you read the solution strategy listed here? http://tinyurl.com/3y4z5e

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Who here on AB does not drink alcohol? I stopped about three years ago for health reasons. If you don't drink (and I mean alcohol) why not? Do you need support or guidance? I've found it to be a socially odd thing. But my friends are great. I had a 6-year binge that ended about 5 years ago. I certainly feel much better without that in my life. I would consider that I was mildly alcoholic -- basically I got drunk almost every night and would get very irritable or disturbed if I had to go a night without it. The odd thing is that I don't have the "must avoid alcohol" solution that I've heard is necessary. I...

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Me and my guy have been together for 2 years and all of a sudden he doesn't want to have sex anymore. I don't know if it's something I did, but when I try to talk to him about it he says that he doesn't want to talk about it. What's going on? We don't know, only he knows. The question is what can you do about the fact that he won't tell you? It really isn't OK for him to keep this particular bit a secret, it's central to the health of your relationship. I would suggest "persistent but patient" for a while -- let him know that you think it's not acceptable for him to refuse to discuss it, but...

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Im a shy person and have low confidence, and too shy to ask females out, im 31 and still single. What should i do? Ok, this is aimed at someone a bit younger, but may be slightly worthwhile: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/144082 Another on the topic: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/312421

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Do you know anyone who is completely self centered and honestly thinks they are better than everyone else? Yes, but he goes away whenever I leave the mirror.

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For the people on here that I've gotten to know, will you please state something positive about me if you can think of one? Highlander gave me a compliment & my mom & the guy that I'm seeing can't understand why people like me From what I've seen, you have some passion and fire for caring about what matters. I've seen you (for example) fighting for LGBT rights... even though that has no personal bearing on your life it seems. That's called "caring", it's a sign of a worthwhile person! :) Another thing I've noticed is that you're fairly open -- you're willing to share...

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How can there be self-help "groups"? Because a "self" is not an isolated unit of existence (e.g. no man is an island). Helping yourself and helping others help themselves are not two separate things. When people are in groups and recognize that others have the same challenges as they do, and get to listen to multiple perspectives about those problems, and get to share their burden with other people, the whole...

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Do you really believe that God will punish you for eternity in the fires of hell? Oh yes, but I plan to OWN that place after 6 months. It's all about who you know and playing your cards right. There's an air-conditioner on level 5, and anybody who's connected moves there.

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Would you like to join me in congratulating the super nice CuriousFrank on becoming a Maestro? CuriousFrank is so big, he deserves his own postal Zip Code!

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Did Jesus pay the price for my sins? How come I didn't know they were for sale? Who did he purchase them from? It might seem a minor point, but this is the Christianity category. As a matter of courtesy, if you want to tell a potentially offensive joke like this, it's best to put it in "Outside the Bag". There are Christians on the site - - plenty of them, in fact -- and it seems fitting that at least the category covering their religion not be a dumping ground for random but irrelevant...

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Do you think an active pearson is atractive or unatractive? Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... but generally "active" resonates with "healthy", and "healthy" is friends with "attractive", so I think that it's a good trait. There's lots of other good reasons to be active too.

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Who would like to join me in congratulating Jade on becoming a maestro? Yeah... for someone who's impossible not to like, I think she's doing a fine job! :)

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Who would like to join me in imagining Dr. Phil and Dr, Laura shipwrecked on a desert island? (there, it's in the form of a question... happy now?) Who's going to play the patient?

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How much money can you give to a person as a gift without the person receiving the gift having to pay taxes on it? I think it's $10,000 (presuming U.S. here). The best place to get that answer -- besides a tax accountant -- is the http://www.irs.gov web site, they answer a lot of tax questions. Put "gift" into the search box, you'll get back a decent looking list, like this one: http://tinyurl.com/ytub6x

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Why can't everyone just get over this conflict on each other's sexuality that is evident in Homophobia AND Heterophobia, and just learn to appreciate each other as people first and learn to get along? The basic problem with all chronic conflicts is the same: people tend to define their IDENTITY in terms of allegiance to IDEAS. So if I don't quite know who I am, the anxiety of not knowing will drive me to latch onto alternative sources of identity -- ways of establishing a solid sense of "myself". Ideas are very convenient for that purpose: they seem solid and real and...

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What is the one thing you have learned about answerbag that you think everyone on it should know? You can make lots of friends. You can make surprisingly deep friendships. All the usual caveats and warnings about dealing with human beings apply -- gossip, betrayal, grudges... all of that comes with the opportunity to be connected to others and enjoy the ride. Don't be surprised if people you trust turn out to be undeserving of it, don't be surprised by the speed at which...

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How do you tell the person you love the most in the whole world your deing, of Cancer and chemoteraphy or other treatments wont work cause its already by 5 staged? Very sorry about your situation. Unfortunately, there's no way to make this nice and easy. Obviously you want to do it when you have their full attention, and probably when they have some time to absorb the news a bit -- maybe on a Friday afternoon before the weekend. You're just going to have to ask them to sit down, take a deep breath, and say what you have to say....

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My boyfriend dont trust me..... but not because I did somthing, no his ex cheated on him but hes convinced all girls are the same. I really love him but i don't know if I can deal with him always not trusting me. What should I do? The only way your relationship will work with this person is if you can be patient and make room for his issues with trust. Basically, it's his problem, and it's connected with his self-esteem. It's not something you OR he are going to be able to wave a magic wand about. He needs to be making an effort to work through that, and if you can get to a state where he (a)...

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I know ANY 1 can be 'bad', but I primarily dis-like/dis-trust pagans, satanists, wiccans, athetists, and agnotics. I have really tried to break that hatred by sitting near my wiccan class-mate, but it's not working. What can I do to stop prejudging them? You deserve to be congratulated for having some self-awareness and trying to overcome prejudice -- that's MUCH better than being a "blind bigot". I'm a bigot too. You'll find if you're honest, you'll have lots of company on this one. Actually, we're ALL bigots, just some are less observant or honest than you. Now the question is "what to do...

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Is there anything wrong with keeping to yourself and not caring about the world's problems? I don't like the word "wrong" in this context... it's not quite about moral judgment, it's more subtle than that. Sometimes someone really does need to just take care of themselves, and can't muster any broader concern for the world. If they've been through a difficult trauma, for example, it may be a good way to heal and restabilize. But what this...

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How can you be sure? Depends on what we're talking about. If it's some concept or abstraction, I CAN'T. By their very nature, concepts are a step away from Reality, and lose the certainty of being just "what is". This is why it's dangerous to get too caught up in belief systems: they're a bunch of ideas, and the more one tries to cling to ideas, the more doubt arises to nag...

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What can you do if you downrated someone by accident? I thankfully didn't, but I thought I did. No problem, just go back to the question or answer and hit the + button to fix it.

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Do you think voluntary suicides should be allowed for the very old and infirm that would choose to preserve their dignity? Or should they be 'forced' to endure life until it can end 'naturally'? I think you have to be able to choose death to choose life. To deprive someone of the right to die is to deprive them of one of the most fundamental things there is -- being able to take responsibility for CHOOSING to live, instead of being "stuck with life". Death isn't evil, dark, or wrong. We don't have a good word for what it is. We fear it, we have a lot of ideas...

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What percentage of people are genuinely interested in pondering personal philosophy, legacy, purpose, and meaning in life? I think many people -- most even -- are interested. But the willingness to do the WORK involved to make real progress with these issues isn't always present. These "core issues" are the big questions in life. It takes a long time for a person to mature with respect to them -- to come up with the answers that don't just lie there flat on the paper, but get up and LIVE in...

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What in your, opinion should, America do about the terrible health plans that exsist today? You mean health plans that are all about profit, and little about health care? Those plans? Let's face it: capitalism is a good thing. When TEMPERED with some common sense. Capitalism isn't good for building roads, because then the poor don't get to drive. Capitalism isn't good for building schools, because then the poor don't get educated. If you give...

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What exactly would it take to impress Shania Twain? If a guy came up to me and was a rocket scientist, Brad Pitt AND had a nice car, I have to say I'd be at least a little impressed.... Who was this person?

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Should there be a Santa Claus for adults? In developed countries, he's called Mastercard.

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Who would like to join me in congratulating The Troll on becoming a guru? I had my doubts about The Troll when I first met... um.... it. Why pick that name? What's with all the secrecy about gender? How about a real avatar? Is it a sock puppet of some other user? But time goes by, and The Troll contributes solidly, seems sensible and helpful, and I've adapted to the name. It's starting to grow on me! But please, can we get a decent avatar?!

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Do you feel "customer service" is improving? No, it's becoming more "efficient" -- as in "save the bottom line at all costs". Outsourcing to overseas is very common, where cultural and language differences make it difficult to communicate; the extensive use of VOIP telephony often results in poor audio quality, and companies are going to great lengths to make it ever-harder to locate a human being. I just...

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Today I got it hurt pretty bad, I was wondering if the injury on the testicles will have a bad effect, such as not making sperm anymore or your future child will become not very smart or retarded. What do you think? I think you're fine. If the pain continues, see a doctor. Your babies won't be retarded because of this.

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My girlfriend says I'm being too distant with her. She said she lost feelings for me a month back, but never told me. How do I regain those feelings and fix this communication error? You can't "regain feelings"... life flows only forward, never backward. If you have some idea of how your relationship should feel, all that does is interfere with experiencing it as it actually is right now. If you're upset, you're upset... if you're distant, you're distant... if you're unhappy, you're unhappy. That's what's happening...

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My moods go up and down. I have a great family and wonderful boyfriend, but there are days when, despite loving them, I have strong urges to just leave them all. These feelings are usually accompanied by sadness and misery. Does anyone else feel this way? Depression can be tough. Have you seen a counselor? One thing I like to point out is that happiness is not a function of our circumstances: you can have a situation that looks great on paper, and be unhappy, or you can have a terrible situation and be upbeat and energetic. It has a lot to do with how you see yourself and life, and the degree to which you feel you're "cut...

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My boss keeps asking for my computer password. He has recently been sabotoging my work and I expect he wantsto do something inappropriate under my name so he will have a reason to fire me. He is a monster. Does he have the right to my log on password. The company owns the computer, and while the question of whether he has a right to your password is dubious, the fact that he's asking for it is quite suspicious -- pretty much everybody understands that handing out passwords to other people is a bad idea. If he needs to see files on your computer, all he needs is his OWN account on that computer with appropriate permissions, he...

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People make unpredictable choices. Is this (solid/circumstantial) evidence for the existence of free will? I don't bother with abstract arguments to support free will, because the opposite viewpoint self-destructs with a bit of pressing: Let's say Mr. Smith denies the existence of free will. Since free will does not exist, Mr. Smith has no control over whether he denies it or not, yes? He's nothing but a cog in the mechanism, and his opinion is without any merit, since he lacks...

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I want to buy a car but I don't have a driver's license, can I use my driver's permit instead? Buying a car has nothing to do with whether you have a driver's license or not. Anybody can buy a car. A 5-year-old can buy a car. Whether you can DRIVE the car is another matter. If you have a learner's permit, you can drive your car only under the terms specified by your permit.

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Which rows (out of rows 10-50) are the first and last rows of their respective sections (out of sections 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) at the the Rose Bowl? Google reports quite a few hits on the phrase "rose bowl seating chart". I think you may be able to figure it out from this: http://www.tickco.com/sc/740-1457/

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Me and my brother are having an arguement...is it wrong to be gay or is it just unacceptable? Wow, where to start here? :) - Properly stated, the question would start with "My brother and I", not "me and my brother". - "Argument" does not have an e between the u and the m. - It isn't wrong to be gay. - It isn't unacceptable to be gay. - "wrong" and "unacceptable" aren't adequately defined in your question to...

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Who's a Jehovah wittness on AB? I think Perryman is probably best known in that department. There are a number of JW's here.

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I keep hearing vague references to the fact that AB is increasing in size rapidly. Is this true? Do we have statistics to prove this? Is this supposed increase causing any negative repercussions on the site..ie more moderation..slower response times? I talk to AB-Jon on occasion, recently he told me the site traffic has doubled in the last couple of months, and that they've done some upgrades to keep up. Naturally, more traffic is "bad" for performance, but it's potentially good in the longer term -- more traffic means more revenue, more revenue means (potentially) better software and hardware.

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In the quest for diversity are we more divided than ever? There's no QUEST for diversity... diversity already exists... what there's a quest for is acceptance of diversity -- it's an attempt to remove narrow-mindedness and prejudice. Now, it's true that in the effort to erase bigotry, it is possible to introduce a new kind of division: isolating those who exhibit bigotry. This is a common mistake, in fact -- but it doesn't...

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What can I do to overcome my shyness? Don't try to "overcome shyness". Learn to be yourself with girls, and take a stand for your own value. The problem here is that we all have a lot of ideas about how we SHOULD be -- images and concepts we picked up from other people along the way (parents, friends, movies, songs, etc.) All those ideas do is interfere with your ability to be yourself, which is where true...

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Does anyone know ways to masterbate at home any ideas??????/ I suspect that someone has tried this, yes.

| 1 person likes this

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Is it true that a piranha lasts for less than three minutes when thrown into a pen full of cows? Yeah. They hate the smell.

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Were are the instructions for answerbag I can summarize them all in one phrase: be nice. Everything else is footnotes.

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After log-on, my computer comes up with "explorer.exe - Entry point not found" and "The procedure entry point EncodePointer could not be located in the dynamic link library KERNEL32.dll" A Repair Installtion of XP does not solve the problem... any ideas? It sounds like your version of Explorer.exe doesn't match your version of kernel32.dll. If you're running Windows XP (I'm assuming here, let me know if that's not the case), it probably means that your Service Pack 2 upgrade got damaged somehow, and so kernel32 is old, but explorer.exe is new. (EncodePointer was added in SP2). One way to work around the problem would be...

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Who else feels that would fit in better here if they were a gay liberal democrat? "Fitting in" is not a matter of politics, sexual orientation, religion, or race. It's a matter of not holding your OWN views in a way that separates you from others. The only person who can isolate you from any group (including the whole of humanity) is yourself... if someone is so attached to their opinions that they think it makes them "not one of the group",...

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I'm trying to decide between the Dell Inspiron 1420 and the HP Pavilion dv2500t. Both laptops have similar features--intel core 2 duo, 2GB of memory, 160GB hard drive, and Vista. Which one is better?? Really, Vista ruins both machines. Given that dreaded factor, though... I would choose the Dell. I've had lots of problems with HP equipment since they broke the company up into little pieces.

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Why does it seem the Homophobes come out of the closet in droves around the holidays? Do they think it's like a winter cold, they can catch "gay" and by being mean they can prevent it? I have not noticed this seasonal trend. I always thought ignorance was a full-time job.

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I was asked this question from a total stranger today... "If you could have any super-power what would it be?" What would you say "on the spot"? I'll take the power to understand cell phone plans, please.

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Red Dawn is happening...What is your plan? Make myself a nice cup of java and a toasted bagel with cream cheese -- the whipped kind, no veggies. Plop myself in the easy chair, and adjust the blinds to let in just the right amount of that exquisite sunrise! Aaaaah, that's sweet.

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Who would like to join me in congratulating MrSublime on becoming a maestro? Truly a Sublime event! :)

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When should authorities remove children from their homes? There's no hard and fast rules, each case is a judgment call, and sometimes the system malfunctions -- either by failing to remove children when they're being badly abused, or removing them when the situation doesn't call for it. The general guidelines should be to protect the children from harm or serious neglect, with the understanding that "the state makes a poor...

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Ok so i have been gonig through alot lately...i droped out of highschool and now i go to lifeskills and... i broke up with my bf of 2yrs...i quit my job and i have been getting in alot of trouble with my mom. what do i do .. i hate my life.... Adolescence is tough! It's hard to go from being a child to being an adult, and not everybody makes it. The question is... will YOU make it? Unfortunately, most of the answer to that question is up to you. It sounds like you're angry, perhaps resenting the fact that life expects you to grow up. That's understandable -- as a child, you don't have a lot of...

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What is the relation between signal frequency and channel band width Signal frequency is the nominal frequency of the transmission -- the frequency a receiver would be tuned to. The frequency changes in FM transmission, swinging above or below this center-point in order to encode the information in the transmission. The receiver detects these variations in frequency and uses them to decode the information (audio, data, etc.) There is a limit to the degree...

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What is a money market fund? It's a mutual fund that invests in very short-term securities with very low yield. Used as a "cash equivalent" by brokerages and banks... a place to store cash so that it's at least earning a little bit of income while waiting for use elsewhere. Because the securities are short-term and low-risk, they don't pay much but can be cashed out quickly.

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Do you think polls will do good on AB? I think many questions just require different opinions and polls are best for them. I think it would be a nice feature. It's complex to implement though, I'm not holding my breath on seeing that any time soon.

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What do you think of a Wheeling Illinois TGI Friday’s restaurant asking a disabled customer and her companion guide dog to leave the restaurant a few days ago because they claimed guide dogs weren’t allowed, -, no matter what the federal law stated? I think there's a restaurant manager who's going to get a stern letter from the legal dept. at corporate headquarters.

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Sally Field said that if moms rule the world there would be no war. Do you agree or disagree? Of course there would still be wars, but the soldiers would have to be tucked in by 8 pm, and would have to apologize personally to any non-combatants shot by accident. And each man would have an apple and 2 oatmeal cookies in their lunchbox each day :)

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Should I bring the computer into the bath so I can still AB while soaking in a hot tub? Or is that just asking for trouble? This would not make my "Top 10 Best Ideas for 2007" list.

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There's a barmaid I fancy and she's given me a few signs that she likes me. My friend thinks I should bring her a Christmas stocking with a couple of silly gifts in. Do you think this is a good idea or could it back fire? I think it's a great idea! Simple non-romantic gifts are a great tangible way to say "you're special", without being too aggressive. It's something she can hold in her hand, evidence that she's been noticed and appreciated.

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When you hear about some of the conflicts that go on in the world, do you ever feel like so much pain and suffering could be avoided if everyone was just a little less sensitive? I would never vote for people to be less sensitive, but I think what you really mean is "less reactive". To be sensitive is to be aware -- to SENSE things. That's almost always a good thing. But the question is "what happens next?" after we sense something? What action is taken in response? That's where the trouble lies -- most of the time when someone is...

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My husband and I have lived in a mobile home for 2.5 years. We are buying a new home, and selling this one for $18,000 more than we bought it for. Are we going to have to reinvest the profits to avoid paying capital gain tax? Yes, you have to reinvest the profit to avoid cap gains. If you want cash to spend, it may be cheaper to get an equity line of credit on the new home than to pay the gains on the old home.

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My boyfriend says he'll bring me home whatever I want for dinner. Any suggestions? Yeah -- develop an appetite for Mercedes-Benz! :)

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My grandfather is dying as I type. He lives in WA, and my mom is the only one of her family who lives in the midwest so she traveled to WA to say goodbye...I didn't know him well, but she's a mess..What can I do to help her when I'm not there with her? The best thing you can do in these cases is usually just to be available and empathetic. It's likely that your mother will be upset in waves -- fine one minute, then breaking down the next. There's nothing wrong, that's normal grieving... but it helps to have people who can just BE with the grief and pain: if you can listen, and acknowledge that it hurts, and recognize the...

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What did Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak invent? They founded Apple Computer. They invented a way to keep Microsoft nervous that also produces a profit.

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What is your reaction to some of the people on AB who are threatening to trash their friends lists in their answers and comments? I don't understand what this means... "trash their friend's lists in their answers and comments". What could that possibly involve?

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Why by the year 2000 were we supposed to have robots doing all the dirty work for us.Is almost the year 2008.Where are they? Turns out WE were the robots.

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I was overlooked at work for a promotion, by a younger man just because his step dad is a officer in the national guard, I trained him for several months and then bam he got the job i put in for..what should i do? That's tough. Nobody can really tell you what you should do, but I would start by restraining myself in that situation -- I don't want my anger or resentment to control my actions. It can take some time before that starts to settle down, and then some clarity usually emerges, but only if I'm careful not to allow myself to get caught up in all of those thoughts chronically. ...

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Let's here it for Sage Katie who finally earned her Sageness today!! How lovely!

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I have a friend who is selling his art to americans, he wants them to pay me so i can transfer his money to him through my bank, because he cant cash money orders and such and such easily in britain, in exchange he wants to pay me a percentage of his chec There's nothing wrong with the plan on paper, the big questions are taxes, trust, and customer service: - The money he pays you is taxable to you. You will need to keep records on the transactions in order to file a Schedule C (profit from business) form with your taxes. The account the money goes through should generally be kept separate from your personal account to keep the IRS...

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What is Paul's girlfriends name, need to write their xmas card? Her name is Jeanette Prentiss Langley. She likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. And she HATES being called "Jean" or "Janet" by those to lazy or inattentive to spell "Jeanette" correctly. Paul thanks you for keeping this in mind.

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How are the different data types "interpreted differently"? i am very new to programming and am trying to understand the purpose of data types aside from helping to allocate the right amount of memory for data. thanks a ton!! Data can be thought of as storage+semantics: some place to put the actual bits (storage), and some way of saying what those bits MEAN in the context of the program. So for example, if I have a 16-bit (4 byte) block of memory with this pattern... 6565h ... the question is "what does it mean?". It could be the ASCII characters "AA", representing American Airlines in...

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Are you a virgin? If so, why? (I'm doing a survey, not being nosy) Yes. I could just never see what the big deal is with sex. I have Answerbag, what else would I need?

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Are you substituting the AB virtual community for making real relationships? Nothing unreal about the relationships on AB. I've met quite a few of these people in person, they all had bodies and heads and personalities. I can vouch for their reality, and therefore the reality of any relationships had with said individuals! :)

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"No news is good news"...right? Maybe not...when was the last time your called your folks, your siblings, your friends, just to make sure everything is okay in their world? I forget to do this a lot. It's a bad thing. I think relationships need "maintenance", just like cars and computers -- the amount of attention each relationship gets has a lot to do with how alive it really is. To think "oh, we're good", as if the relationship will survive year after year without any effort isn't very realistic. I'll try to do...

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How do I inactivate the system restore utility in Windows? Click Start > Control Panel > System There's a "System Restore" tab, with a checkbox marked "Turn off System Restore"

| 1 person likes this

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Would you like to know your compatibility level with anyone? For example, THE TROLL and AB-Rich are 64% compatible http://www.lovecalculator.com/

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What do you tell a Mother In law who is always butting into your marriage? Think of it like an elevator which goes from polite (the bottom floor) to restraining order (the top floor). If possible, you get your spouse to politely suggest that she restrain her urge to give lots of advice and expect lots of information about the details of your lives. If she's uncooperative or doesn't get the message, you gradually increase the volume over time. ...

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Our expert in automotives, Jerv, has made Sage. Would you like to congratulate him for his achievement, and thank him for dealing with some of the most hard-to-answer questions here on AB? Jerv is cool!

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? <Groaaaaannn!> :)

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What should I install after reformatting my windows xp pc? Here's my favorite things to put on a newly paved machine: - Firefox - Adblock Plus, Filterset G Updater, Roboform & the Roboform adapter for Firefox - TortoiseSVN - Microsoft Office 2003 - Emeditor (for editing text files) - Mozy Backup Home (gotta have backups, this stores the data online) - Logmein Pro (allows remote access to the computer over the Internet) ...

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Do you think AB shoud add a private message feature? I like the idea, and it's been suggested a number of times already. I think eventually they will add that, but the work queue for system enhancements is always long. Meanwhile, here's what I do if I want to speak to someone: I dig back into their early answers, find one with no comments, and add a comment to it. That way it doesn't show up on the front page, they get...

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I'm 40 and soon to be single. I have approximately $25,000 saved for retirement; my husband has $60,000 in his 401k. Should I be saving more, even if he will get half of it when we divorce? Actually that's not true -- the contributions you make after separation are yours alone, only the sums accumulated during the marriage are split between the spouses. So if that 85k was accumulated during the marriage, you split it up the middle, and any contributions after the separation date are held exclusively by the party who made them.

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Could it be that so many people cannot find themselves because there actually isn't an underlying, congruent self, and that every aspect of existence is simply layered over pure nothingness? Well that's close to what I would say. You can't find yourself because YOU are not an object of consciousness. The bit about "every aspect of existence is simply layered over pure nothingness" is a bit conceptual. The basic approach to self-discovery is to examine and then discard each thing found. At some point, it becomes apparent that the self has no...

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Does anyone else think that the US power outlets resemble 2 Stay Puft faces in a OhMyGod! expression? OMG! I thought you were DEAD. Why are you coming back to life to sniff about our power outlets!? :)

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Sooner or later, does love win? Hmm... "Win" suggests some sort of conflict or battle, so it's not my favorite word here. I would say that love has "transformative power" which isn't always appreciated well or recognized. It's like a wave that we can ride to go places we wouldn't be able to go on our own. This is a completely practical matter, in my view: a level-headed, fully...

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When the person you're in love with moves away and you don't have many friends to pass the empty time with, what's a good way to fill that emptiness? Change your Answerbag username to something personalized, and get yourself a nice avatar. Then come hang out with us! :)

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Shortly, after the refinancing our house, we found another house that we would like to purchase. Can we apply for a mortgage to buy this new home so soon? We are planning to sale our present home. Certainly you can apply for a mortgage to buy the new home. The lender will notice that you have an existing home, and probably insist that you sell it to qualify for the new home. The main problem with your situation is that it's expensive... you paid closing costs refinancing your current home, but your home hasn't had time to appreciate in value to compensate for those costs....

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What is the meaning of the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"? I've heard many versions of this... John Lennon gave an interview (Rolling Stone, I think) in which he explained that his daughter came home from school with a picture she had painted -- something typically unrecognizable to an adult eye -- and he asked her what it was. "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" was her response, and the song was inspired by his imagination of the world she was coloring. He quite denies that...

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Does the GPX Digital Audio Player model number MW3337 show the name of the song being played in the display window? I just purchased one for my daughter for Christmas and I don't want to open the package. I can't find an online manual. You can find the manual and an instructional video for that product here: http://www.gpx.com/shop_ind.php?id=%20%20487#

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What questions do not have a right answer? There's a lot of questions that don't have a right answer... my favorite is "who am I?". The way I think of this is "all of the answers are partially wrong!"... the only GOOD answer isn't an answer in the usual sense of the word, the good answer is something you ARE, not something you KNOW.

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Re: Linksys router passwords. Since setting up my wifi twice, I have misplaced the username and password. How can this be retrieved? Thanks. You can't recover them, but you can reset the router to its default configuration with the little red button on the back. That will restore the default of blank username and "admin" for password. Of course, you'll have to set up your configuration options again from scratch, the default IP address is 192.168.1.1 in most cases that I know of. www.linksys.com has a tool...

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What is a good sign that a friend of yours is going through a depression? What can you do to help? Listlessness, chronic lack of enthusiasm and interest... especially losing interest in things they've been interested in for a long time, withdrawing from social contact, sleeping long hours, vegetating in front of the TV, etc. It's not too tough to tell when someone is depressed. My #1 rule when dealing with someone who's depressed is "do NOT try to cheer them...

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I'm engaged, set to be married in mid 2008. We bought a house about a year ago, and I live with her and her son. After a year of that I don't think that family life is for me. I keep thinking about things I miss about being single. What should I do? I would discuss this in depth with someone else -- a trusted friend, a counselor. Get into the details of it... what do you miss about being single? What do you dislike about being in that family? The idea of these conversations isn't to have someone else tell you what to do, it's to get your thoughts and feelings "out on the table" where you can have greater...

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How do you forgive someone who has hurt you really bad? Forgiving starts with giving up the right to punish the offender. If someone has done something to harm you, you'll most likely take a "recriminating" position -- some form of "they shouldn't have done that and I want to make them pay for it". To forgive, you have to recognize this desire for "payback" and choose to give it up. There's a...

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Do you argue with someone to prove you're right or to prove they're wrong? In the best situations, neither... I argue to clarify the subject. The best arguments are relatively free from ego concerns, it's almost as if the various positions are arguing themselves! I knew a man once who was really interesting -- I watched him debating another man in a large meeting. I don't remember the topic of the argument, but he freely switched sides about 10 times...

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Is Answerbag eating itself? Yes, of course. And it's having Yahoo! Answers for dessert.

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What is an evil person ..? Anybody who is alive has the capacity to do evil, and we all have. It's not correct to sort humans into "good" and "evil", that can only be said about specific acts. Of course, some people do a lot more evil than others, but it's still a matter of degree rather than kind -- there's no essential difference in KIND between Mother Theresa and Adolf Hitler....

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What does it take to be an effective speaker-language or thoughts? Neither. What counts most is PRESENCE: the ability to BE yourself in front of a group. Of course, what you're saying matters, but it's almost irrelevant if you can't be present: aware and alive, connected with the audience. This idea frightens us, because we mostly don't know quite what it means to be present, or how to do that... so we prefer to focus on things we...

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How do I have a American accent? Because i am a Chinese girl who learn English hard. And once my classmates made fun at my suck pronociation. I wanna make them feel amaing to me. It's nice to hear that you're working hard at learning English. It's a difficult language. Accents can be hard to learn. I think it helps if you practice by imitation: get a tape recorder or VCR and record a radio or TV program such as a news broadcast. Then, play back short clips over and over, and try to say the clip exactly the way the broadcaster said them -- focus on...

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I recently got to know sum1 who added me to msn cuz she thought i was cute and she wanted to get to know me.Everything was going great,then she freaks out cuz i assumed she was in love with me and i wanted to slow things down.Shes still mad at me,W.S.I.D? One of the harder things to learn about relationships is that you have to listen carefully. That's tough, because we're mostly not listening, we're waiting for the other person to stop talking so that we can say OUR piece! :) I think this is a case where you had formed an idea in your head ("she was in love with me") and stopped paying attention to what she was...

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I feel that the recent mall shooting in Nebraska is a good example of why people should carry guns. If someone had been armed they possibly could have taken the shooter out before as many lives were lost. What is your opinion? In this one case, that's true -- someone else in the mall would have shot him. But in general, the presence of lots of arms is likely to lead to more overall gun shootings. It's true that "guns don't shoot people, people shoot people"... but it's also true that people with guns shoot people. Not always, not even most of the time, but with a high population of...

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Why does starting over (completely) have to be so hard? Not if you have your memory wiped clean! It's hard because you remember, and you're attached to those memories... the way it was when things were good. If you just beamed in from Mars and got installed in your body and brain newly, with the circumstances you have now, and the knowledge you have now, but none of that personal-identity-continuity stuff, you'd not be upset,...

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Where does Daniel Radcliffe live? Last I read, he moved out of the Dursley's house and in with the Weasleys.

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If there are only two broad categories of things that exist in the universe, what are they? Things that divide the universe into two kinds of things, and things that don't.

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Has anyone noticed that if America doesn't like something, they'll declare war on it? War on poverty, war on hunger, war on terrorism, war on drugs, etc... Gods I'm surprised there isn't a war on education by now. What is America? Just a constant war? Yes, it's silly to invoke war metaphors for everything we're trying to correct. What's worse, that mindset can actually undermine effective action by distorting our view of the "enemy" and isolating it conceptually from the conditions which produce it. Most tough problems are tough because the conditions which cause them are deeply interwoven with things that...

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I have no issue with questions that are jokey in their manner. Don't you think, though, that these questions should be put in the 'jokes' category rather than in the category that the joke relates to? This way others would understand you were joking. Humor is always a challenge. I would say if your question isn't obviously a joke when it's in the "right" category, you shouldn't ask it. We've seen some ugly threads start that way, it's better to let the brilliant idea go than to make a mess from unintended consequences.

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Does paper REALLY beat rock? I mean, does having a piece of paper on you really equate to defeat? If I were a rock, I would pummel that stupid paper! It all depends on what's written on the paper. If it's a juicy check, yes, it beats the crap out of rock. If it's one of your old grocery lists, rock will make it beg for mercy. This is rarely considered except at the professional levels of rock, paper, scissors. You can get more details from the International Rock, Paper, Scissors Association (IRPSA): ...

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What do you think of Dolly Parton? Sorry, I was looking down. What did you say?

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Why is it easier to make a person unhappy than it is to make them happy? Well I don't think you can really do either one, although sometimes it seems like that happens. Certainly you can make troubles for other people, and you can solve the troubles of others sometimes. Real happiness is unconditional: it's not a function of what others do or don't do, or a function of the circumstances -- it's a function of realizing and expressing...

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Is the water from an A/c unit safe to drink.? At a minimum, it's probably somewhat dirty (it's just condensation from the evaporator coils)... so it started life as pure water, ran down the coils and the drain tube, and ended up wherever it collects. It probably won't make you sick, but it may taste rather noxious after that trip.

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Let's say technically (i don't know if it's possible) that i don't have a cd drive anymore in my laptop. It's deleted and gone. What can i do? Yes, it's possible to not have a CD drive, your computer will be just fine -- but it does present problems if you want to read a CD, of course! One way to work around that issue is to put the CD into another computer, and connect to the other computer across the network. I've done it. It's inconvenient but works fine.

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Do you think that if the whole world were to not make a sound; not a noise throughout the whole world including the ocean and all, that if someone on the other side of the world could were to make a sound, you could here it? It would have to be an awfully LOUD sound -- even if there were no other sound whatsoever, the volume of a sound decreases with the cube of fhe distance, so unless the sound was incredibly loud, there's no chance a person on the opposite side of the world would hear it. Our hearing has limited sensitivity.

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If you are using someone else's wireless connection is this theft? They haven't blocked it so i'm assuming they don't care if people piggy back off of it. I wouldn't call it theft, but it's ethically dodgy... ask yourself "how would I feel if someone else were tapping in on my Internet connection without my knowledge or permission?" I've done it in a pinch, but I try to minimize it.

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If you tinkle when you sprinkle, be a sweetie, and wipe the seatie. Do you wipe or do you walk? I sit rather than stand. Sorry guys, but the latter is a disgusting practice -- there's no way to spray liquid from 3 feet in the air, have it hit a pool of water (even if you're careful) and not have a bunch of splash... usually something SHE has to clean up. It takes an extra 2 minutes out of my day to adhere to this policy, but it says "yes, I understand you don't...

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Can we not develop a technology whereby I can tell which light on my Christmas Lights strand is out? Dear God, we've been to the MOON for crying out loud!! Already done... you just gotta buy the more expensive light strings! There's two ways to wire Christmas lights -- series or parallel. In series wiring, the power flows THRU each lamp to get to the next one, so the failure of a single bulb brings down the whole string. In parallel wiring, the power flows to each bulb independently, and the dead bulb(s) are obvious. Spend those...

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Is there something you used to believe in but don't anymore? When I was about 9, I was standing on the grass and several ants climbed up onto my feet. This was a complete shock, because my older brother -- who was the ORACLE in my world -- had told me "ants don't go on the grass". I no longer believe that.

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How do we know whats right? All philosophical ethics systems sort of suck. They try, and should get some polite applause for their efforts, but they still suck. Here's one that sucks less than most, but it still sucks: "right action" is that which has the interests of the Whole in mind, while protecting the rights of the parts. So since all systems suck, what to do? It turns out that humans are...

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My shower drain is stopped up. I've tried using the plunger on it. How can I fix it without having to spend money on drain unclogger. You can try a "coathanger snake" -- the worlds' cheapest snake... Take a wire coathanger, and unwind the hook. Straighten the whole thing out. Then use pliers to bend the end into a small hook (about the diameter of a pencil). On the other end of the wire, create a "handle" loop. Stuff the small hook down the drain, it will only go until it hits the bottom of...

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Do you feel that an embryo deserves the title of "personhood?" How do you think this would effect abortion rights? The definition of when life starts is the key to the whole abortion debate. What I like to point out is that there's no way to solve the issue until both sides acknowledge that the human-scale categories and concepts created with thought and language do not match the way reality really is: reality is all fuzzy and full of continuous spectra of change, interdependent, interconnected,...

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If a topical question is a year old, is it really a duplicate of the same question this year? How can did it snow in 2006 be a duplicate of did it snow in 2007? In a bag where moderation-points frenzy is the 800 pound gorilla, minor differences like that don't register much! :)

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Are you comfortable with the concept of; "Everything happens for a reason!"? I can already see this going many ways... Yes, if you mean "every event has cause(s)". No, if you mean "every event has a purpose". Nothing happens without cause -- even random events occur because the conditions are suitable for them to occur. But purpose is another matter altogether -- purpose implies intention, and that's the domain of the mind and language. I intend to say something comprehensible...

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Which one of YOUR answers has the least amount of points (large negative points)? (please post links if you wish) This one is at -5 right now, posted Oct 10 of 2006: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/106270 Q: Does human creativity have any limits? A: No. So much for the power of brevity! :)

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Is there a rule of thumb how much you should let other people dictate who you are? i understand it is a hard q, but it is my life right now, i am thinking about it too much. maybe the questions is answerable? Yes, the rule of thumb is: zero. But it's worse than that -- not only should you not let OTHERS dictate who you are, you shouldn't even try to do it yourself! There's no correct answer to "who am I?", in the way it's normally asked. All of the answers are wrong to some degree, and so it's a mistake to get too excited about any of them. So definitely...

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Is loneliness just a state of mind,for one can be lonely in a crowd, yet feel content with being by one's self. What creates loneliness and how is that different than being alone and being comfortable and joyful without the constant need of others? Loneliness is the illusion of separation turned up to to full volume -- nothing to drown it out. There's a lot of "suppressed loneliness" going on for most of us: a sense of being separate and isolated, but with enough distractions going on so that we don't notice it. Loneliness is just noticing that sense of separation, typically when the distractions have been removed...

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I've seen alot of questions recentley asking whether immigrants should be required to learn English. Do you think that the fact that so many Americans themselves are illiterate makes that a bit hypocritical? Hypocrisy is a wonderful hobby, I practice it myself rather regularly! :) (For the record, I do not think immigrants should be required to learn English. But that's a bit off topic here). Yes, it is sort of hypocritical for someone to insist that others learn the language when their own command is pretty weak. But I don't think it's an effective tactic to call this...

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What's the best way to respond to those that continue to feel the need to tell me that I am going to hell because I am not Christian? I went through a phase where it seemed like everybody wanted to convert me to Christianity... it was as if I had a sign on my forehead inviting it or something! In those days, I would engage with them quite regularly, talking about religion openly. I suppose that's what my forehead must have been saying: "I'm interested in the topic". I'm still interested in the...

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How can you open up a guy emotionally and actually have a conversation? I can understand BS convos in a relationship but theyre also needs to be serious ones also. Men in our culture are generally conditioned to avoid conversations where they may be called upon to express how they feel. That call for openness goes against the grain of many years of cultural programming. That doesn't mean it's impossible to have deeper conversations, but it's a good idea to know what you're up against. The first thing you need to do is adjust...

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I sit for my niece a couple time a week,I'm glad to help,but today my brother dropped her of she had a cold and spent the whole day coughing and snotting all over my home.Is that not messed up?Should he or her mom not have taken the day off work instead? I think the main thing is that they didn't communicate with you. They should have called and informed you that she was sick and given you a choice about it, rather than assuming that it was OK. You might want to consider talking to them about this -- it's disrespectful somewhat, they need to be more appreciative and attentive given the service you're providing.

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What question can i ask my dad to force him to say whether he is an optimist or a pessimist? I think I like this dad of yours! You're doing "category coercion" -- trying to force him into one box or another. Nobody really likes to have that done to them, because it oversimplifies the person and takes away some of their individuality. Nobody is all one thing or all another thing, that's just how we like to talk and think. It's good to notice that,...

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Do you ever get 'lost' in your thoughts and try and figure out how you got there? Yeah, actually... I do that almost every day. I practice Zen meditation, and getting lost in thought is extremely common -- the practice is to keep catching yourself and coming back to here-and-now, but along the way I sometimes try to retrace my steps to see the chain of thoughts. Usually I try to be alert to that initial moment when awareness starts to disappear because some thought...

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Do you think men with beards look snuggly? Of course! :)

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What if George Washington had waited until after the winter to attack Trenton? It's never too late to attack Trenton.

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I took my fiance back after he fell apart last year; he became dependent on me and got bad grades. Now he's made alot of changes and improvements in himself; living by himself now and gets fine grades. When will I know those changes will stick for good? You won't. It's a gamble. The fact that he functions fine without you doesn't mean he'll function fine with you -- your presence can change the conditions of the game, it's all interconnected. If you're going to take him back, you should definitely have a conversation with him about this problem -- probably you've already had one or more of those...

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What are the "powers" of Community Leaders? - When a CL flags an answer or question, the flag takes effect immediately without waiting for staff. (Staff still reviews CL flags just like any other flag) - CLs can delete comments - CLs can place a user in the penalty box.

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What do you do when your friends aren't there for you when you really need them? Do you leave it alone or say something and risk losing them? I don't think it's helpful to have a single class of "friends"... you'll have different relationships with different people, and each one is unique. To have fixed expectations for each friend ("If you were my friend, you'd do X") doesn't really work. Now if you need help or support, and you ask someone who you think is able to provide that...

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I want a dog but unsure what breed. It has to be low maintnence, family dog, easy to train and not much problems in old age but still keeps its youthfullness until death. It can be up to meduim size. This one is very low maintenance, and never seems to get any older. I can make him any size you like: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/169066

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How to print " Hello " with out using printf command The C library function 'puts()' will do this for you: http://www.cprogramming.com/fod/puts.html

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The love of my life still hasnt asked me to marry him...after four years and a child together should I keep waiting? Nobody can answer that but you. The question is whether you're able to face the uncertainty on both sides of the question without flinching. If you leave him, there's consequences presumably -- a harder life maybe, a drop in income, no father for the child.... and possibilities -- recovering your freedom, not "living a lie", the chance to meet someone else. If you...

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Can you summarise your view of world politics in a few paragraphs? Trying to fool 51% of the people every 4 years.

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If you had to choose one of the Twelve Days of Christmas presents to receive as a Christmas gift, which would you choose? Which would be the worst? I'd pick the golden rings, but I'd probably re-gift the leaping lords. Oh God... talk about songs that are 11 days too long...

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Wow, last time I left the site I was a level 1 Novice and I just came back on & found out I am now a level 3. Who will jump up and down & scream and shout happy sounds with me? That is very exciting! Welcome to the wild ride. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle, and stay strapped in. This one means business.

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We've been living together for 4 months. I asked him to define our relationship in terms of how he views us. He said "companionship without commitment." What does that mean? It means "don't co-sign for his next car". Really, what is unclear here? He wants a companion, he doesn't want to commit to a long term relationship. If that's not what you want to hear, you have a problem. But you gotta take that problem up with him, not with us. Don't be shy about it, you can launch right in with "I'm not OK with that...

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Anybody know a good basic book abour Zen philosophy? Well I've diagnosed your issue, Da ben dan -- you posted in "Philosophy" instead of "Buddhism"! I don't check the Philosophy category normally. The short answer to your question is that philosophy and Zen are contentious souls: they don't get along very well. In theory, philosophy is about "love of wisdom", but from a Zen perspective it's...

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Do you agree with this statement, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." That's a good one. I should try practicing it!

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With AB's growth spurt, have we shot ourselves in the foot? Name one AB'er who has left that you would like to see return. Sorry, I know this doesn't really answer your question, but I feel called to spout off on this topic of people who leave Answerbag. People leave for different reasons, but one of the common views is that people leave because they're "bullied off the site" by trolls or enemies, or because they grow weary of the sniping, cliques, and intrigue. I concede that all sorts of...

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What are some hints people give you when they dislike you? Usually the hints I get aren't that subtle: people say I'm an arrogant ass, a liar and fraud, an ignorant fool, an evil influence. I don't find myself having to read between the lines a lot to get the message :) On the broader topic, I think it's good to notice my concern for other's opinions. It's not that I don't care what other people think, I do --...

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When both parents are drug addicts and they have a todler and a new born what steps need to be taken to get custody. The parents currently live with my mother and dont work. My husband and I want to help but my family demands that I don't. This usually starts with a call to your local county Social Services agency (or a call to the police, if you think the children are in immediate danger). Social Services is responsible for investigating reports of child abuse or neglect. If they find sufficient cause, they can remove the children from the home. The children will then normally go to a temporary group home until the matter...

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Were you an active member of AB one year ago? Yes, I've been active since Sept 1 06. I've taken a couple of longish breaks (several weeks at a time), but otherwise keep up a pretty steady level of activity.

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When atheists complain about how unfairly they're treated in the U.S do you think they don't realize how lucky they are? Of course they're lucky to live in the U.S., we all are. That doesn't mean their complaints are unfounded. Should we all just stifle any mention of injustice because we're fortunate to be U.S. citizens? That's bizarre logic.

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How do you explain the rise of religious fundamentalism in the modern world? I see this as a reaction to post-modernism and the crumbling of traditional and comforting belief systems: it makes us anxious and uncomfortable to look out upon such change and uncertainty, with an open and unknown future. It's sort of a global identity crisis. Fundamentalism offers (or at least, SEEMS to offer) a relief from this chaos -- by clinging to the traditional and familiar,...

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What is a soul? do you believe you have one? No.

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If you apologize for offending someone by accident, but do not take back the offensive act... should you be forgiven? Well without specifics it's hard to give a good answer. As to whether you "should be forgiven", I think the main value of forgiveness is for the forgiver, not for the forgivee. It lets the person who is harmed move on, it frees them from the grip of what happened. As for "offending someone by accident", when I do that I try to look for where I missed the cue --...

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Honestly, do I make a difference? Well obviously you make a difference to me! There's two common perspectives: the "cultural" view is that only certain individuals make a difference -- the Gandhis and MLKs, perhaps presidents or other leaders, people who are well known with a lot of influence or power. The second common perspective is the "humanist" view: we make a difference to those who are...

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Wath is love I agree. I've always loved wath.

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Do you think the internet has helped to improve literacy? Well I suppose... I think I've finally learned the difference between "it's" and "its"! :)

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What's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? Well it's part of a cool song... But if we take Elvis Costello at face value and consider that he's really advocating for peace, love, and understanding... I would say there IS something funny about that: it's the kind of goal which defeats itself. These kinds of idealistic goals are like the man who installed a skylight in his home to brighten things up and provide a...

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If someone comes to your door saying they will die if they dont have a drink of water, by law (uk) do you have to provide them with one? If someone can walk and speak, they're in no danger of dying for lack of a glass of water. I doubt very much that someone has written a law about that.

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Does that fact that I study philosophy automatically mean that I must be depressed and/or antisocial? Yes, of course... what a depressing question! I think that philosophy is as good a way to burn up your college years as anything else: you still get to live in the dorms, party with your friends, engage in naive revolutions, and get all that intellectual and social stimulation so essential to maturity. Just don't confuse philosophy with wisdom and you're in good shape :)

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Has anyone else realized that you really don't have to participate in congratulatory questions if you don't want to? There's a lot of unanswered questions in the Science category =) Yes, I realize this! While surely there is points-farming in this category, and I can understand that some people are bothered by that, I still think it's a good thing that AB users take the time and trouble to appreciate their peers publicly. If there's one thing in short supply in the world, it's appreciation of others. Lets not shrink the supply even further! :)

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What is the worst imaginable popup/warning message you could get from your computer? "Data transfer complete. From: c:*.* To: \Russ-ZZHackmaster.comidtheft-root"

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Are you a closet bigot? ok, no i dont mean you hate your closet for irrational reasons...perhaps a race, gender, religion, or political party? hmmmmm? Yes, I dislike certain groups or people for all sorts of irrational reasons... I'm a bigot! However, I do try to be AWARE of my own prejudices, and challenge them when I notice them, and I try to avoid letting them determine my ACTIONS. As time goes by, I think I'm becoming less bigoted.

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Have you ever mistrusted your own feelings? I trust them to be feelings. What else should I trust them for? Our emotional responses are complex psychological "output" of thoughts and feelings resulting from the interplay of memory, current circumstances, personal predispositions, beliefs, conditioning, etc. There's nothing in this complicated machinery which guarantees that one's feelings represent objective...

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1st question: Do you believe everyone has a price? Think if you answer Yes or No. Now, 2nd Question: If I ask you to wash a single plate for me for $50,000, would you? 3rd question: Now do you believe everyone has a price? No cheating! The question is too simplistic for real life. When you're trying to find out if everyone has a price, you have to specify "for what action". Obviously you can't buy a human being (that's slavery), but if the action being requested is benign there's no reason for someone to not name a price. Washing a plate is benign, it's no test of someone's...

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Have u ever sleeped on the floor out side and realize it's better then wasting money on a real bed? Yes, I've slept on the floor. I've realized the bed is a lot cheaper than back surgery! :)

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Seeing all the problems and controversy regarding congratulatory and notification questions: Do you think it's time for a "Bulletin Board" type feature on AB? No + or - points, no overly ambitious flaggers, just people wanting to share information? Well I think maybe a bulletin board is a good thing, I'm just having trouble imagining how it would work. Changes on AB often have unintended side-effects, so I doubt the first attempt would be without problems. But I'm not bothered by the "problems and controversy" regarding these questions, or really any other problems and controversy. I don't think...

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I am thinking of making a site called Baggers Collide, where we can discuss things about anything. It's basically like a community for baggers, like MySpace or what not. What do you think about this? Should I make it? I guess I thought that's what Answerbag already is: a community for baggers! :)

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I figure I'm less than a week away from becoming a sage. How do I make sure nobody sends me one of these "who'd like to join me in congratulating" messages? They're really annoying IMHO. I think it's useful to ask "what about that is annoying?" Why do you have difficulty appreciating someone else's congratulations? While I don't think it's any great accomplishment to get a new Badge on Answerbag, I LIKE the fact that people take the time to acknowledge and appreciate others here. That's a nice thing, and I would never want to see that go...

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Why are women so boring? Because you're providing so little to be interested in.

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How do you get through to people are truly wrong about something, but are completely convinced and convincing that they are right? Is it possible? Sometimes I can get through to someone and sometimes I can't. I think it helps to realize that the personal connection with the other person is key: just arguing rarely works, regardless of how compelling your arguments are. In general, people tend to be more open to listening if there is trust and a sense of mutual respect in the relationship. So if I really want to communicate with...

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Was it wise for us to have launched a spacecraft containing information about our species, and where to locate our planet? I don't think it's a problem. Any aliens who are advanced enough to build a space ship and fly it across the galaxy(ies) to visit us aren't likely to wanna steal our iPods.

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Can God be found inside oneself, or does one need to hear about "him" from an outside source in order to understand what God is? A Zen teacher would advise dropping all ideas of God or not-God, and all ideas of inside and outside, and all ideas of understanding or not understanding. Ideas like that are dualistic: they produce the illusion of separation between things which aren't actually separate, and send people running around desperately searching for something which is right under their noses all the time. ...

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When on a date and in conversation, what does it mean when she looks you in the eyes then away the eyes again then away. eyes, to left, to eyes, to right. continuously. What about when she looks at your lips the eyes. It means you're spending WAY too much time "in your head" trying to figure out hidden messages, and way too LITTLE time BEING with her and enjoying yourself! Relationships aren't about your ability to analyze the other person's body language in detail -- she's not a broken washing machine that needs to be diagnosed. Relationships are about being able to be...

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Why do you think some people are so prone to making broad generalizations about people of other cultures? Generalizations -- in general! -- simplify our view of reality. That's the mind's way of saving effort and energy, and we'd be in bad shape to navigate our way through an infinitely complex world without this ability. So it's all about where we use them, and what we use them for, and being aware when they're being misused: oversimplifying something when we need more...

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Is it possible to have at the SAME TIME a love for the whole universe (mystical oneness) and romantic love (an exclusive love for one person)? Well they're not separate things, really. The love you have for your partner is like a note or phrase in the music of the whole, and at the same time it contains the whole symphony. If you really love another person, even one... you're loving the whole of humanity. If you love your partner, but also hate someone else, it detracts from the love of your partner. The individual...

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Grandfather says global warming/conservation is a lie. To "prove a point" he keeps all the water taps on in his apartment. He refuses to listen to reason (it harms the other residents/owner by raising their rates). What can I do? I would probably stop resisting his delusions, and just let him believe what he wants to believe. He's your grandfather, yes? He probably doesn't have "open minded" on his resume, and is probably at an age where he's not looking to add it. It's appropriate for us to try to be for things like environmental protection, to make wise choices for ourselves, and to...

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Can you ever really forgive and forget or do you always remember the hurt? Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. Actually, there's 3 things that commonly get mixed up here: 1. To forgive is to give up the right to punish the offender... and ultimately to abandon the position "this should not have happened" 2. To forget is... well, I can't remember! :) 3. To TRUST again is to allow yourself to be in a situation where the same...

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How many names can you think of that have a male and female version? for example: Joseph and Josephine. Stableboy and Stablegirl... um... that's all I can think of right now.

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What is the difference between Extern variable and Global variable. A global variable in C/C++ is a variable which can be accessed from any module in your program. You can define a global variable with a statement like this: int myGlobalVariable; This allocates storage for the data, and tells the compiler that you want to access that storage with the name 'myGlobalVariable'. But what do you do if you want to access that variable from another...

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I have met a Russian girl on the internet and she has ask me to send her 1000 dollars to finance her trip . she says she has a travel agency that is handling the trip . How much does it cost a Russian women to fly to the US roughly. Nd how hard is it for Don't do it! Send her a plane ticket. A refundable one. $1000 isn't unreasonable, but sending her cash isn't wise.

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Me and My girlfriend in love in india now she is in US and she in love with her co-employee and she says she didnt like me and she didnt what to share her rest of life with me how do i get her back It doesn't sound like you CAN get her back. She has to make her own choices, you can't control her. It may be painful to let go, but that's the way forward.

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Why are so many young boys (12-17 y/o) so promiscuious these days? Well as long as I've been male, I've listened to young males lie about how promiscuous they are. I doubt that has changed "these days". They also pretend to be taller than reality by wearing thick soles.

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Do you think that one day in the far future, someone will be able to go back on all of our Q&A on this site and gain a pretty good psychological profile of who we were individually? Yes, if anyone is interested enough to expend that kind of effort... maybe they'll uprate all those ignored answers while they're at it? :)

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What's the average number of comments you make per day? Mine is 71.8 so far. I've made 18337 comments in 454 days (the number of days can be calculated here: http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html So that's 18337/454 = 40.39 comments per day. You're WAY ahead of me!

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What is Google Docs? Google Docs is an online free service which allows you to create word-processor and spreadsheet documents online. I use it quite a bit, it's very nice (although it has some shortcomings). You can publish you documents so they're viewable by anyone, or you can share them with specific people by sending email "invitations". It's a nice way to produce documents...

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Do you think that abortion is wrong but that a woman has a choice is right? Why or why not? The abortion debate is a great place to study psychology, ethics, linguistics, philosophy, and logic. Of course, not much studying goes on, because everybody is too busy attacking the other side in the argument! :) My favorite point to make about abortion is that it's a topic which illustrates the problems with absolutism. Absolutism is what you get if you take a concept or...

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Can everyone UNcongratulate me because I am not a guru yet? Uncongratulations, Fun. Your non-achievement is worthy of all the non-celebration we can't muster!

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I had a judgement against me for late car payments by my bank. I agreed with the court to have my regular payments garnished from my payroll check. If not paid off yet, what do I do when I need a different vehicle? Can I sell it or trade it in? Legally, the bank has a lien on the car: an "ownership interest". That means you can't sell it without satisfying their interest (giving them money). Normally this isn't a problem, when you go to buy a new car, the dealer helps with the paperwork to pay off the old loan and give you credit for the value of the old car (based on the wholesale market value of the car). If...

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Do you ever feel like your hated by someone on AB? I do all the time. I'm pretty sure there are a few users who dislike me intensely... they don't make much of a secret of it. Of course I don't like that, but I think it's important to be aware of those concerns and not let them determine my behavior. You can't be yourself and please everyone at the same time.

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Tonight, I am dumping him... Anybody want to take his place? ;) Not if that's how you do breaking up, thanks.

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How do you feel about Hummers? I think they are about the ugliest vehicle I have ever seen. Not to say the most ecologically unsound. The Hummer has become a symbol of our arrogance in relationship to nature, it seems. On the one hand, it is just another car -- somewhat larger and less efficient than others, but still useful. On the other hand, it seems people are buying them to make a kind of "statement" about their indifference to the environment, a kind of "I am an island" ... a crowing at the moon....

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I am in love with this wonderful man and he feels the same, but it seems like lately he has been really moody and unhappy, we've been ...... for about a year. What can I do to cheer him up....in any way? And Why is this? I would suggest you drop all ideas of cheering him up, and focus on communicating with him to find out what's going on. When someone is unhappy, they generally do not want to be "cheered up"... what they need is to understand the source of their pain and (perhaps) take actions which correct the conditions producing the pain. "Cheering someone up" is sort of like...

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Will the earth end for sure? how? Eventually the sun will go nova and burn it up, or it will be smacked by some enormous asteroid and split into bits, or be consumed by a black hole. Nothing lasts forever. Of course, we'll be long dead by then, most likely. We won't need a backup planet.

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I want to get my 6.5 gig music library off of my desktop and onto my laptop. My USB drive isn't nearly big enough, and the online storage site Xdrive only offers five gigs of storage. I don't have a firewire. Any ideas? The efficient way to do this is to hook up both machines to a local area network -- it can be as simple as using a "crossover cable"... an ethernet cable that is specially wired so that it can be directly connected between the two machines. Alternatively, you can use Winrar (a free compression tool) and archive your library. It allows you to split the archive into manageable...

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How did you get yourself into this mess? I clicked "Answer Question", and it came back with "You must register to do that." That's when all the trouble started.

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So, a huge subject in this day and age are Intellectual Property Rights (IPR's), and the isolation of a whole group of consumers by the RIAA & MPAA. Just wondering, but what is your opinion of the current situation pretaining to these subjects? With regard to music, I think the old model is dying fast -- the recording industry isn't "adding enough value" to the distribution chain to justify their paycheck. They're resisting this sea change, and alienating their remaining customers in the process. I think in the future, it's going to be tough for artists to become rich just recording and selling those...

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Answerbag community? What makes u become one it.. I don't feel like I'm one of them hahaha!! Friendships are formed one at a time. Each person is unique, there's no "bulk acceptance" button on Answerbag or anywhere else, for that matter. You make friends by interacting with other people, listening to what they're saying, responding appropriately and positively, sharing your own thoughts and feelings about things, etc. -- you have to participate, in other words,...

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What book that he wrote, did a math teacher in Oxford, England, named Charles Lutwidge Dodgson give as a gift to his boss's 12-year-old daughter? "Through the Looking Glass"?

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Lady Alathia is now a Sage! Would you like to join me in congratulating her? Congratulations! Have you received your copy of the Secret Answerbag Club Rules yet?

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What do you do when a guy leaves you after taking away your virginity It sounds like you're in pain, sorry about that. But the way you're looking at the situation isn't very healthy, you've cast yourself as a victim... "he used me and dumped me!" Presumably you had a choice to participate in sex, so "taking away your virginity" is an odd way to talk about it, as if he stole something from you, rather than recognizing...

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What are we all trying to escape? The specifics vary by individual, and by time -- we try to escape different things at different times. To find out exactly, you have to sit quietly and observe your own internal state very carefully moment to moment. At one moment, you might be trying to escape the thought "I should get up and do something useful", and at another moment, there might be an irritating sense of...

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Do you believe something really bad is gonna happen in the year 2012 like some people believe? Yes, the world will end. But in the next moment, a new world -- identical in every detail -- will come into existence. Basically nobody notices that this is going on all the time! :)

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How many of you know another bagger personally, and did you know them before ab or since? I know several baggers personally, and I met a bunch of them at once at a party in October (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/447819). All of these were met on AB, there's nobody I know from before.

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Why do people let their kids believe in Santa when he is an old man, he likes little kids a whole bunch, likes them to sit on his lap, and he sneaks into people's houses late at night, and he stalks you all year round to see if you were naughty or nice? Thanks for the tip. I've reported this person to Child Protective Services. We all must stay alert to such behavior.

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My 13 and 9 year old brothers have not had visits,phone calls or child support from my father in 2 years. All of a sudden he paid it all off,$700 a month X2 years in a lump sum & he has gotten a lawyer for visitation. After 2 years does he get visitation? Probably yes. The courts are strongly biased in favor of trying to normalize relationships between children and their parents. The judge is likely to see this as "dad had an awakening, and wants to make up for lost time" -- something which may be true, and is potentially helpful to the children's development and nurturing. Unless dad does something terrible in court, or...

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Question: I'm working on a webpage, and I want to align some text (just a few words) in the center and some text on the right, but on the same line. When I try, the text aligned on the left always goes to the line below. How can I do it as I want? A simple, reliable way to do this is to create a table with 3 cells of equal width. Place your centered text in the middle cell, and your other text in the right-hand cell. Be sure to turn off the border for the table so the viewer won't see it.

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What is the syntax for a comment in HTML? Surround your comment with this: <!-- {comment content} --> You cannot use the double-dash -- INSIDE your comment.

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Do you believe that President Clinton was the first and only president to fool around while in the White House? Absolutely! I also believe that Elvis and the Easter Bunny run a massage parlor out of their double-wide in Junction City, Kansas. I have my believer stuck in Turbo Mode.

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Do all religions have a "Heaven" and a "Hell"? No. In Buddhism, for example, there is no notion of Hell or Heaven. There IS the notion of "nirvana", which some people equate with heaven, but that's not really what it means. As a practical matter, I think it's much more useful to consider heaven and hell as potential states one can realize right here and now... to be in heaven is to realize and express wholeness here...

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Using only three cuts, what is the greatest number of pieces of pizza you can get? 7 pieces: imagine the standard 6-piece cut, with each slice passing through the center point. Now imagine that each of those cuts is slightly off-center, so that they don't intersect in the middle. What will happen is that you'll end up with 6 outer pieces, plus one triangular piece in the middle.

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I resigned from my job due to disagreements with my manager. I was highly regarded in my position but was very unhappy with my manager's lack of backbone and management style. How do I explain my unpleasant resignation to my new potential e I would try to do a good job of explaining it from a company-centric perspective, e.g. "I felt that the company needed strong leadership from my manager. It was frustrating for me to see opportunities lost and unnecessary problems mounting for our group. Rather than trying to bypass the ineffective manager, I felt it was more honorable to step down and move on."

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I am recently single & word travels fast. I'm not used to having all these guys hitting on me again... "exes" from my past, guy friends, & strangers. They all tell me the same things. When do you know its genuine? I always take the wrong chances it seems. I would say "take your time". There's no rush. It's fine to date multiple people, I would suggest avoiding sexual contact for a while... spend time and see what develops. A good relationship will likely take time to grow, and that time allows you to reflect and see it from different angles. Nobody else can tell you when it's genuine, but if you're relaxed...

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ONE COMPANY GENERATE A 1099 on my SSN,but they didn't give any check of that amount,then can i report that amount to IRS while i am filing my taxes,I am working on H1b,Is it effect to my greencard processing? If they are reporting income for you to the IRS, but you didn't actually get paid, that's bad. You will be responsible for the taxes on that money, even though you didn't receive it. You should contact them and tell them to file a revised 1099 showing the correct amount, even if it's $0. I don't know why this would affect your immigration status, though -- unless...

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My husband lets his ex wife dictate what goes on in our house about their daughter. He feels like she gives him no choice so I am just suppose to go along no matter how I feel about it. What would you do if another woman was running your house? Well I don't feel comfortable giving advice with so little detail here... my intuition is that your husband isn't setting boundaries appropriately with his ex (the "she gives him no choice" bit). But what exactly does she try to dictate? Is it directly related to her daughter? She has parental rights and interest still, and y'all are obliged to try to be...

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Trying to bring action against Air France in Ca. small claims court. AF has no agent for service, no LA business license. How did AF get exempt from Ca. law? That's interesting... it was my impression you could serve any business office of the defendant. You should be able to just walk up to a ticket agent, ask them if they work for Air France, and hand them the summons. I'm not a lawyer, that's just what I've heard and read.

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From a scientific perspective: are memes real? If so, what are they? If not, are they scientific? To say a "meme is real" is to promote an abstraction beyond its rightful place. We can all observe that ideas take on a "life of their own", as they propagate from one person to the next, and it's reasonable to develop coherent theories which explain how this happens and which factors affect the propagation, etc. All of that is consistent with a scientific view. ...

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If you could have one ABer back that no longer post questions and answers here, who would you pick and why? Only one? How awful! What kind of rule is that? :) Some of my favorite ex-baggers: zazzy_one, Andersen777, teknimage, PrettyPirate, BAM, Darkling, ptrask. Each one left with a piece of my heart in hand... irreplaceable losses.

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Do you believe that "good looks" are "everything" in a relationship? Yes, while the photographer is working. At other times, no.

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I'm trying to start a non-profit health insurance company. How does everyone feel about that? I'm not sure if it will really help anyone, perhaps it's just my romanticism that believes the system needs to be fixed. Well does it? Should it be better? Of course it's broken, when you have 40 million people who can't afford health insurance. We're witnessing the razor-coated tail of the dog named "capitalism is the answer", as it waves happily, celebrating the quarterly profits and extravagant bonuses of the haves, often had at the expense of the have-nots. While free markets have their advantages, and I...

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What is the most extreme measure the AB staff has used to combat a crisis? I don't think we've had anything yet on Answerbag that qualifies as a "crisis". If you mean "a bunch of people being mean to each other", it's not unheard of for the staff to pbox everybody involved until it settles down.

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How much of our understanding of reality is based upon our perception of it? What is the "it" and what is the "our"? The question presupposes a separation between "us" and "reality", and further implies a distinction between objective and subjective views of reality. All of these ideas are already embedded in a particular model of what is real... a template applied to the matter before the question is posed. This template...

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Could anyone tell me of some on-line support groups, blogs, web-sites for non-custodial mothers of teenage daughters? I've been a good mom and done all the right things for the past 8 years since my divorce. My ex has custody because he has the $$$$$ . I don't understand... you don't have custody because you're not her biological mother, what does that have to do with his financial condition? That's standard "custody logic" in the law -- the biological parent has parental rights, not a step-parent. It sounds like you want to continue your relationship with your step-daughter, which I think is probably a good...

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What do you do if your father has raised you since you have been 16 months old but in a few months your going to turn 18 and want to live with your mother is that wrong of me will it make my dad think i am a trader????? :( I don't know if your dad will think you're a traitor, he probably will be hurt by your decision. However, it's not a good idea to make your major life choices based on how other people will feel or react about it. While it's good to be sensitive to the feelings and concerns of your father, his feelings are not your responsibility -- it's not your fault if he feels...

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My boss sent me an email on saturday saying that he wanted to see me in nyc but I did not read that part of the email so I missed it. This is not the first time I screwed up on reading an entire email, will be getting fired? Well of course none of us know whether you'll be getting fired or not. As painful as this episode might be, I think of these incidents as being "life education". The most important school there is is the school of difficult experiences, and one of the most important lessons life has to offer is "pay attention to details". So often these lessons show up in our...

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Are women who drink mostly hard liquor straight-up sexier than those who drink only mixed drinks or beer? No, but they lower their dating standards earlier in the evening, and that does boost their popularity! :)

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Do you obey the laws of physics? I try, but it's SOOOO hard!! Sometimes I'm just walking down the street, and it's a nice day, and I'll start to float off the sidewalk a bit -- I know it's wrong, I know gravity is the LAW, but it just feels so GOOD! Other times I just get tired when I'm at work... to go to the kitchen I have to take a left, then another left, then a right, then another right...

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Years ago during the Dungeons & Dragons craze I asked my son to create a Dungeon filled with Unicorns and nothing negative. He tried, but couldn't do it. Can we make Answerbag a Positive Place just for one day? No moaning/groaning/complaining? When I was a child I was taught the traditional stories of Heaven and Hell, and I heard that Heaven was all sweetness and light, everyone happy and singing praises to God with their harps, etc. I could not imagine a duller place! I think that's one of the main reasons Christianity never got a good hook in me as a child, despite my preacher father and being surrounded by Christian...

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My last two managers have had crushes on me. Does that mean I've been flirting with them? My friend says it does. No, but it might mean you need to keep some distance, and you're probably a bit naive about the effect that you have on men just "being friendly".

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I'm still fairly new and would like to get to know some people and make some friends. Which Answerbagger would you recommend that I add as a 'Friend' to get me started? There's plenty of people who can be good friends, but I suggest you try something other than "Malevolence" as a username if you wanna make friends! :)

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I thought Trolls were supposed to be mean? lol. Why is "The Troll" Nice? You've heard of the boy raised by wolves? How about a troll raised by humans? It's nurture over nature.

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Nature offered us a garden. We gave back a parking lot. Why would we do such a thing? We see ourselves as separate from nature (your first sentence is an example of that thinking -- nature offered us something, as if nature were "out there" separate from us). That illusion of separation affects how we think and act, and that thinking produces actions like paving paradise and putting up parking lots. It's not that parking lots are bad and that we should all...

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What, in your opinion, is absolutely true? The absolute truth cannot be expressed in language -- only relative truth can be spoken.

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If communism means common man with common interest while capitaism means the rich getting richer and poor getting poorer, isn't communism actually better? Both of these 'isms' are just abstractions. There is no real economy which is purely capitalist or purely communist, or any other 'ist'. Real economies are complex beasts with varying degrees of capitalism in different sectors. The challenge is to find an appropriate balance, it's not something that submits to simplistic solutions.

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Y does it seem so hard to keep your woman happy? You shouldn't be trying to keep her happy, that's not your job. Your job is to do your part, be yourself, listen, share, etc... but it is NOT your job to make her happy. That's her job. If she can't handle that job, it's going to be a tough relationship no matter what you do.

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If you use contraception should it stop you from receiving Communion? Only if you put the diaphragm in your mouth :)

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Is your personal ego a source of conflict in your life? You bet!

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For those who can remember, what do you think was the best thing to come out of the 1970's? You got a real thing going on about the 70's today, huh?! Well, "best thing" is a tough one. Lots of good stuff happened in the 70's. I even sort of like disco now, after spending many years railing against it! The home VCR was cool. Around 1977 or so I worked at an electronics shop in Burbank, CA. We were a Sony dealer, and one day we received the most wonderful...

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Should CPS be called even if you arent totally sure there is abuse...but suspect there could be? Is it over-reacting if you only THINK something is wrong? Of course you have to use your own judgment. Whey you call CPS, they will investigate, and that investigation isn't necessarily pleasant for the recipient. But if there's a reasonable possibility that your suspicions are right, you have to consider what would be the consequences if you're right and DON'T act on it. There's always a risk, but if CPS knows about the...

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How many of you practice Buddhism? I've been practicing Zen Buddhism for a bit over 5 years. There are about a half-dozen Buddhists that I know of on Answerbag.

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Iam living alone and just currently lost my job, money is constantly an issue for me making it hard to save money. College didnt work out for me, and Im confused with what I wanna do in life.I always considered joining the navy, wouldnt it only benefit me I suggest volunteer work in your community. That will take you out of your isolation, connect you with others, and give you an opportunity to be helpful while you work through the questions about your future. It's ironic that if you try to solve a problem larger than your own, your own problems start to seem smaller and more manageable.

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I find myself very alone-no family, no real friends-suggestions? please be kind. Answerbag is a pretty good place to start working on this problem. Change your username to something recognizable, and get yourself a distinctive avatar / graphic -- without those two things, people won't learn to recognize you. But my favorite suggestion for this problem is to start doing community volunteer work: get out to the local shelter (animal or human!), or lick envelopes at...

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Why does life confuse me so much? Life IS complex, that's not your imagination. There's you and others, and trying to figure out how to survive, and finding love, and trying to work out the meaning of it all, and cars and planes and trains and schedules and birds and bees and that inexplicable way the grain of the wood reverses suddenly for no reason in the coffee table. There's just so much STUFF!! We...

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Atheists, can you truely regain dignity when challenging faith? & religious followers, can you feel that you can fully answers all questions raised? Preamble: I am not an atheist. However, your question presumes that people lose dignity by challenging faith... that's a heck of a presumption. In most of the arguments I've observed on this topic here on Answerbag, it's the people of faith who tend to come up short in the "answer all questions raised" department. It's quite common for believers to use...

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Do questions ever expire on AB? Do they ever get erased? No, and in fact the first question ever posted can still be read: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1

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Has anyone here ever been to the Yahoo! Answers site? I haven't been on Yahoo Answers... but there's a whole bunch of people here who used to spend time there and have said they like AB better.

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Don't you hate ALL generalizations? Not at all... We would not be able to function without generalizations... even the instruction to "take out the trash" involves a generalization, unless you're pointing to a specific trash container or enumerating each trash container to be emptied. Generalizations and abstractions are basically the same thing, and all thought and language depend on them. The problem is...

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Are the you 'get angry' type or the 'get even' type? I do tend to get angry... the trouble is that I have a rather poor memory and I forget to remain angry. Often I've been embarrassed by being nice to someone in a situation where I should be haughty and rude, having forgotten the offense. Guess I should start keeping an "enemies list" and checking it regularly! :)

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Today, Nov. 23, is my best friend, idne's 40th birthday. Will you join me in wishing her the happiest of birthdays? Thank you! Congratulations, idne! It's a pleasure to have you join the 40+ crowd... feel the wisdom?

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What, exactly, does same-sex marriage have to do with marrying nonhuman animals? Someone please explain. It's just slippery-slope fallacy: "if I allow strangers with dogs to walk on my lawn, next thing you know they'll be sleeping in my bed." The problem with these kinds of arguments is that they presume some sort of hard-and-fast boundary which, when breached, will result in disaster. A slippery-slope argument typically ignores a vast array of other influences on a...

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Me and my BF broke up. We bought a car almost a year ago and it's in my name. It's not paid in full and he handles the payments. How would I go about getting my name off the car? The loan company has no interest in releasing you from the contract -- you're another person they can go after if they have trouble getting paid. You can try calling the loan company and explaining the situation, but it's doubtful that they will cooperate. The only real solution is to get your boyfriend to refinance the car in his name only. That's the risk of co-signing...

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Have you ever been somewhere during a war? No, it's my policy to stop existing whenever a war is in progress. :)

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What is the origin of bah humbug? That's what Ebenezer Scrooge had to say about Christmas in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol".

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In Nature, What bird has the longest wingspan? I think that's the California Condor, with a wingspan that can reach 9 1/2 feet! Basically, they can almost dunk a basketball without flying.

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I would like to invite EVERYONE to a Big birthday party for idne!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! to you! Have a super day! Happy birthday dear. This should be a national holiday!

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Why do some people deny my request to be my friend? is there something wrong with me? I don't know you, and haven't received a request from you... but I can tell you that I and quite a few people deny requests from people sometimes if we haven't had any conversation with them yet and don't know them at all. The main reason is that once the friend's list gets really long, the Friends Activity page becomes very noisy. People who have lots of friends...

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Can you send things through the mail without a return address? I do want to send christmas gifts to some of my relatives but I don't want my parents to know my address. Yes, but if the mail is undeliverable you won't get it back.

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I'm having trouble thinking of an alternate name for a book. It's about 3 boys in World War II, one on the German side, one on the Soviet side, and a little boy in the city of Stalingrad. Eventually, they meet together. What's a good name for the book? - The Boy's War - Three Pilgrims - A Time Before Then - Separate Souls

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Is there a secret conspiracy between things implicit and explicit in nature to fool us into believing they and we are not of the whole? No, there's no conspiracy. We come to our belief in separateness through ignorance: the problem is that the mind forms concepts by distinguishing an object from the formless whole, and then mistakes the nature of it's own concepts -- the mind believes "Oh, I have a THING here... something separate with it's own identity". We do not recognize this reification of...

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Could I program a web like answerbag in ASP and using Microsoft Access database? Yes, but it would be very difficult to do and using Access as a database would doom the system to a small scale -- Access just cannot handle the large volume of a site like AB, and ASP is a very clumsy and ancient way to build interactive web sites. Try PHP or ASP.Net to build the pages, and MySQL or SQL Server for the database, and you'll at least be in respectable territory...

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How did you choose your avatar? (presuming it's not one of the 'bags) All the other photos of me made the dog run away.

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I am not interested in studies..even if i make myself sit for some time my interest does not last for long..and i can not quit also..i am seriously tired of cramming those illogical terminologies and datas needed for my field..nothing motivates me..HELP.. Why are you studying? Take a good, hard look. Chances are that the logic goes something like this... "if I don't study, I won't pass my classes. If I don't pass my classes, I won't graduate and get a degree / diploma, and then I'll end up with a miserable job or no job at all and suffer the rest of my life". So studying is this roundabout way of...

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People say the best things in life are free, but if you think about it nothing is free, can you think of anything? It's all free, if you see the whole of life. Since I'm not some separate little bag of skin in an alien universe, the wealth of others is mine too. I don't have children, but I can appreciate the joy of a child playing with a dog in the park -- their happiness enriches my life for no other reason than I happened to see it expressed. Life is not a series of transactions,...

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Is it possible to be an extrovert and an introvert? Yes, it's clear to me that I have both characteristics, just not at the same time. Sometimes I'm very outgoing and sometimes I like my solitude and don't want to engage with others. Most abstract categories are too simplistic to capture the truth. "Extrovert" and "Introvert" are broad generalizations. In the process of labeling someone as one or the...

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Do you believe in the end of days? If so, why? What do you believe is happening or is destined to happen in our future? If you mean an religious apocalypse, such as some say is prophesied by the Bible, no, that seems unlikely to me. But there are all sorts of ways we could bring an apocalypse upon ourselves -- nuclear war, environmental damage, even destabilization of the global economy that undermines social structures. Lets just say there's no shortage of ways to screw the planet up. Yes, it seems...

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When you say something controversial on Answerbag, do you feel that people take it as your opinion or as your assertion of the truth? Which would you prefer? If opinion, is it redundant to have to say "this is just my opinion" all the time? I rarely add the "in my opinion" qualifier. I always think my opinions are fact! :) And in any case, I think it goes without saying -- unless someone is citing references or using formal logic, it's fairly obvious that everything said here is heavy on opinion.

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I was at the mall and while i was waiting for my friend to come out of the bathroom I noticed the men's room door was propped open and I could see 2 young guyes inside at the urinals and could see there pen*ses. Has this happened to anyone else? Wow! You lived to tell the story, count yourself lucky!

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Is it disrespectful to the GLBT people not to correct people on here that think I'm gay because I support gay rights? I get so many e mails & I'm sick of saying NO, I'm straight, I'm just a supporter. It really shouldn't matter anyway if I am, thoughts? Sorry, I actually DID think you were gay. I'm sure most GLBT people are quite fine with the truth about your orientation, and appreciate the support. It's not disrespectful. As to being sick of correcting misconceptions... I'd say, get used to it. That just comes with the territory, it's part of the job.

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Did you follow your dream and become what you wanted to be when you were young, or did you decide to go for something else? Are you happy now? Oh yes... my dream was to become a Sage! But now that dream is threatened... it looks like unless some miracle happens, I'm going to molt and become a "maestro"!! Horrors!! Someone save me, my dream is dying!

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What are you biased about? You got some lined paper? Fold it in 4 parts, then number each line until you get to 100, flip it over and continue to 200. We'll start with just the important stuff. Bias is wired-in to our minds: new experiences become memories, those memories get organized into concepts, and repeated thinking along specific patterns produces conditioning, and all of that affects the way we...

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If cockroachs can surive a nuclear fallout then why dont scientist try to combine our dna with theirs to create an unholy super creature of abominal proportions instead of wasting time looking for cures for diseases? This has already occurred -- they named it Dennis Rodman. Turned out the solution was worse than the problem.

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For those of us who alive 44 years ago, do you remember where you were and what you were doing Friday, November 22, 1963? Yes. I was at school, in kindergarten. My mother picked us up because they closed the school... something about the President being shot. All I remember is how much I wanted to help my mother, she was crying as she drove us home.

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Do you have any good tattoo ideas? I've thought about getting one that says "I'm already against the NEXT war."

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How do you know if your relationship is really over and you should just give up? There's no answer to this question, nor can there ever be. You have to make a choice, that's all. Obviously, you do your best to observe all the different aspects of your relationship and your life, and try to face things as squarely as possible... remove fantasy thinking, recognize that your own commitment level affects what happens in the relationship, etc. But in the end...

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Did you ever hear or read something and say "Hey I did that first"? Or "I was doing that a long time before it got popular"? Yeah... when I was a kid (think "1960's"), I was consistently annoyed with TV Guide, because they would list all the programs but there was no way to easily see what was coming on for the rest of the evening... you had to page through a lot of listings. So I came up with the idea of having a table that just showed times along the top, and channels along the left, with just the...

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What has happened to Steve Fossett? The world's media appears to have completely forgotten about him. On October 2, the Civil Air Patrol announced it had called off its search operation.[48] However privately funded and directed search efforts continue, including the use of a dedicated jet aircraft from High Altitude Mapping Missions Inc. to produce images at significantly higher resolution than available from satellites. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Fossett

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Compared to eternity, our time here on earth is practically 'non-existent'...does this decrease our significance? Yes and no! We're both completely insignificant and totally significant at the same time. If you feel you must choose between them, that's something to work on! Insignificant: space and time are vast, and we are barely a dot of off-color paint on that canvas. Perhaps we should lighten up about ourselves a bit. Significant: Significance itself is a function of thought and...

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Is this supposed to be intimidation "Lisa, you never want to see me get mad,I'll scare you, I'll never hit you but I'll put holes in the walls"? I do not feel intimidated but I think that was a moronic statement Sure it's dumb, but I can't help wondering why it's in "Home Remedies > Ear, nose & Throat"! :)

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How do you feel about Christianity in relation to other world religions? I practice Zen Buddhism, but I was raised as a Christian. I studied world religions in depth for a number of years, and I've been sort of a "fan" of religion for quite some time, in the sense that I find it a fascinating topic. Christianity isn't all one thing -- there are many different flavors, from the fundamentalist Baptist railing from the pulpit about the...

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What do think about people who need to win every argument? We all want to win arguments, that's the "object of the game" in arguing. If you aren't out to win, you're not really participating... it's like playing a sport -- the idea is to play your best and try to win, you're "out of integrity" with the game if you're not doing that. The trouble (as your question hints) is with the "need"...

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Im in love with a guy who is abusive, has really bad anger & is in jail right now for 6 years i think im gonna break it off because his anger just seems to be getting worse. do you think i am making the right decision even though i really really love him? As much as I love the Beatles, they were wrong: love is NOT all you need. You need to do what is best for your overall health and development as a person. Love is a wonderful thing, and it has amazing and transformative powers. But it can also get sick, and sometimes it's sick enough that you have to stay away to avoid having it infect your entire life. This sounds like such a...

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Are you one of those people who doesn't know when to use its and it's? Yes, but its getting better.

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Can a 17 year old girl leave her home and move in with her aunt. she has a job and is in school. she cant get along with her step-mom. she lives in north carolina what is her right? Generally, the parent with custody (in this case, her biological father) gets to decide her fate, unless the court revokes or limits his parental rights. It's also possible that she could get the court to declare her an "emanicpated minor", if she can show that she's competent to make her own decisions and that her father does not have her best interests at heart. That...

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Do homophobics realize that many of their arguments against gay rights were also used against left-handed people? Does anyone still think it's a sin to be left-handed? I've posted quite a bit of gay-rights support stuff in the last 48 hours ... it seems like we have an epidemic of homophobia right now on AB. This stuff tends to come in waves, I've noticed. I find I keep making the same points over and over again, it's rather repetitive and inefficient. So here's a more organized list of my favorite arguments AGAINST oppression,...

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Do you agree with the phrase, "America: love it or leave it"? Why or why not? It's too simplistic. Silly, really. America isn't some single entity with coherent characteristics that require a simple thumbs-up or thumbs-down vote. It's a huge collection of stuff, with all sorts of trends and people and issues and shortcomings and strengths and.... Well, you get the idea. To think that one must reduce their perspective to a single plus or minus vote...

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Why are so many people anti Wikipedia? Generally they're only anit-Wikipedia when it undermines their viewpoint on some topic! :)

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Describe nothing Take something, anything. Everything. Now, take it away. Then take away the space and time it was located in.

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Doomsday cults, Tribulationists, Tri-Lateral Commission conspiracy theorists, and global warmimg believers,etc.- Is there a common thread that links folks who subscribe to "end time" scenarios? A bizarre thought. Help! Global warming is quite real, and this question is disingenous: there's a big difference between accepting the dominant explanation provided by the bulk of the scientific community, and subscribing to a lunatic fringe belief promoted by a small and eccentric group of non-experts.

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How does anything about the existence/visibility/personal actions of gays, lesbians, or bisexuals affect anyone's lives other than our own? How exactly do we impact anyone, other than ourselves, in any way? No Bible quotes here, please. Well I think the lives of gays / lesbians / et. al. DOES affect the lives of others, simply because we're all interconnected. If a gay person wastes electricity, that produces a wider carbon footprint than would otherwise occur, and that has a cumulative effect on the planet. If a gay person gets into a fight with their partner, and goes out into the street angry and frustrated, they...

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How do you think the United States could solve the illegal immigration problem? And after we solve that, what would we do about the existing illegals? let me know what YOUR ideas are. I think you can't resolve this question without uprooting some very basic ideas we have about who we are as Americans. Humans in general, and Americans in particular, are strongly biased in favor of "group membership" ideologies -- belief systems which distinguish between "us" and "them", and grant a sense of personal identity to individuals which is based...

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Do you think dogs can understand human speech beyond simple commands? Our dog is gone now, but I studied her quite a bit on this topic. She was definitely able to interpret subtle things that I wouldn't have expected... and she could read our moods quite well, which surely involved interpreting body language and facial expressions. She definitely knew when we were talking about her, and would perk up her ears and tilt her head trying to capture the...

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Why is a perfect friendship the exception rather than the rule? I would say it's not even the exception, simply a fantasy. Real people in real relationships run into real problems if the relationship lasts more than a short period. That's not an imperfection, that's just life doing it's job -- providing us with challenges so we can grow and develop. So you could say that ALL relationships are perfect in that sense -- they're...

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Why is the person who is homeless arrested and yet the person or people who caused it are not? Because you'd have to arrest almost everyone: neglecting the needs of others is a charge that can be leveled at all of us.

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Is there any other way to buy something online, without a credit/debit card? What if I have a debit account, but no card? Can I use the ID number from my cheques? Paypal is the most popular solution for this -- you can hook up your Paypal account to your bank account, and then use Paypal to make online payments.

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Okay, well, i just recently had yet another rejection from a girl :/.. the 7th one this yr. I've never had a relationship and i really want one. Every girl thinks I'm "Amazing" Yet I'm constantly getting hurt. I dont know what im doing wrong. Women like men with self-confidence. While you really can't manufacture that from thin air, you can avoid certain counter-behaviors: - If you feel needy and longing for her attention, keep it to yourself. It's not her job to solve your inner sense of inadequacy, and that's a quick trip to the back of the date line. - Don't try to manipulate her or control her...

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Me and my boyfriend use the pull out method. How effective is it? every once in a while my stomach will ache only extremely slightly. There are no other symptoms but is there a chance i could be pregnant? This isn't even a birth control method. Get a box of condoms and use them.

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Have you ever met someone with a really weird name? What was the name? There's a chiropractor in Olathe, KS named Dr. Bonebrake. I am not making this up. http://bonebrakechiropractic.com/

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The process of anticipating that you will be punished for misbehaving takes place where? In the bedroom, hopefully!

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Should women be able to hold leadership positions in religion such as bishop, cardinal or mufti? Both of the Zen teachers at my center are women, and they're very good at it. I would be suspect of any religious group which excludes women from leadership positions -- it suggests to me that they don't understand spiritual development, but rather are enslaved by their traditions.

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What have you "mastered" in life? I no longer doubt my own validity and value as a human being anymore... I suppose that's a certain kind of "mastery", given that it took many years of working on that problem to resolve it. That doesn't mean I think I'm perfect or flawless, it means that I recognize an absolute basis for my own wholeness which doesn't depend on the ups and downs of daily life,...

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Why do many (or all?) of Apple's products start with an i?(iPod, iMovie, iTunes, etc) What is the purpose of that "i"? iCannotImagine

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Is it illeagal for someone to smoke in a car with a child in the car in Colorado? I think it's very unlikely that this is against the law anywhere in the U.S. -- it's rather disgusting to me that someone would smoke in the car with children present, but I'm pretty sure there's no law against it.

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Is forgiveness for the forgiver or the forgiven? Both. But it works for the forgiver even if the forgiven isn't available. The purpose of forgiveness is to restore wholeness -- to heal the fragmentation that occurred in the incident. This is a tricky thing to talk about, because in the final analysis, there's no such thing as fragmentation: there is no way for a human being to be less than whole, it's completely...

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If time is is supposed to be the healing factor, then why are there so many older people that are still bitter about events that happened 20 years earlier? Time heals only if it's allowed to do so! It's not uncommon to hang on to ideas which prevent the natural healing from occurring. This happens because someone gets their identity tangled up with some interpretation of a painful event. For example, if I was attacked and beaten by a couple of Hispanic males, I might be angry and resentful. If I simply experience my pain and...

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After joining this site, I have become much more homophobic than I already was. Anyone else feel the same way? Homophobia is an active evil in the world. You seem to be snide about this, as if you think you're cleverly framing your shortcoming in a way which makes you sound like a romantic rebel instead of an ignorant fool. Fortunately, all the smart people on AB will be happy to stand up and punch your clock on this one -- the homophobes are blessedly in the troll minority on AB.

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Why ever since 09 - 11 - 01, President George W. Bush has been struggling to explain to the American people exactly who he thinks our enemy is and the reasons why we should go to war against them? I'm not sure I agree with all the speculation about Bush's motives for starting the Iraq war. I think maybe he really did believe that Saddam had WMD's, and that he was a threat to destabilize the Middle East, with all the consequent oil implications of that. But it seems clear to me that invading Iraq was never the right strategy, and even worse -- once it became obvious...

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Does religion make people open-minded or close-minded? I see this as a spectrum of possibilities... "primitive" religion tends to close the mind, while "mature" religion tends to open it. Primitive religion is all about beliefs and rules -- clinging to fixed ideas about ourselves, life, and the universe in an effort to grasp onto something "solid" and permanent. Mature religion is all about integration:...

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I've recently come out of denial and found a man who's very compatible. We really click. I feel so guilty for enjoying this relationship so much. If I go straight, I wouldn't be as happy even though I wanted the white picked fence. Any thoughts? There's no reason to stay "stuck" with defining yourself as either straight or gay: these are just categories, real human beings often do not fit neatly into one or the other. Notice your fixed ideas about sexual identity -- they're just ideas, concepts. They don't capture the full complexity and subtlety of reality as it actually is. These ideas are handy when...

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What will happen when AC mixup with DC voltage? It happens. The world does not end. In electronics, one would say that the AC has a "DC component"... a bias or offset which causes the resulting voltage to be either more positive or more negative than it would be without the DC. If you look at a signal like that on an oscilloscope, you'll see that the waveform is shifted up or down vertically because of the DC component.

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Neil Armstrong's famous quote from his first moon walk is: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind". If you could be the first to walk on Mars what would your quote be? "Hey Houston, there really IS life on ..." <click>

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Considering how we are poisioning the environment, are humans really the most intelligent species on the planet? Yes, I think we're the most intelligent species... the problem is that we're not intelligent enough! We have enough brains to go to the moon and produce cell phones that double as entertainment centers, and we're smart enough to solve Rubik's cube or assemble Ikea furniture. But we're not quite smart enough to see that we are interdependent with the rest of life,...

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Not going by your birth date but in your mind what age are you? I'm 49, but some days I feel more like 50 1/2 :)

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GLBT people.We all know that we always get DR's for anything to do with a gay topic.Have you noticed more than usual lately?Not that their points matter much.But just curious-seems like the same people -either a -2 or -5, no courage to ID themselves. I would say that support for LGBT rights is quite strong on Answerbag. Generally if someone posts an anti-gay answer or question, they stir up a angry crowd quickly. But there are homophobes, and some who are quite vocal and persistent. I don't think they lack the courage to identify themselves, it's just that they're so busy downrating they don't want to stop and take...

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What is the koan? A koan is a short "question", usually prefaced with a story. Koans are used in Zen as training devices. Teachers assign them to students, and students are expected to "solve" the koan. Koans are distinctive in that the solutions or answers are not produced by intellectual analysis. The student solves a koan by having an insight about some aspect of life or practice,...

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Do you find it odd that people will be on AB and 'talk' to anybody..yet they will avoid people in the street ( avoiding eye contact,headphones, etc). What does this say about society? Are we simply more fearful of public confrontation? There's a certain amount of separation provided by electronic communication that you don't get in person. I saw an article on CNN yesterday that talked about how teens are using IM to avoid embarrassment a lot (asking someone for a date, breaking up, etc.) I see this as the same phenomenon. It's actually quite challenging to just be able to be yourself in public with others...

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Do you think it is the duty of one nation or a few nations to police the entire world? "Police the world"? No. I think that nations that are powerful and influential have an obligation to provide leadership with regard to values, such as advocating for freedom, justice, and peace... but that advocacy needs to come with the right spirit -- it needs to arise from a recognition that all countries are interdependent, and that all humans (including those who are not...

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Where do you seek and find comfort in your most stressful times? (drugs and alcohol are not options) Daily meditation is the most important thing for me. In general, I find that having a regular routine is very important for managing stress... when that gets disrupted, especially if it interferes with my meditation practice, I become much more reactive and easily upset.

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Do you consider yourself better than the next person? There's a next person? I can only see a previous one, "Next >>" is grayed out!

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Can AB users request that the moderators put someone in the penalty box for abusive behaviour? Or does the initiative have to come from the staff? How public should the process be? Yes, you can ask the staff. If you have a really open-and-shut case, the fast way to get this done is to convince one of the CL's to do it (Carmella, LynfromNM, Tani, Eli Lies).

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I'm 26 dating a 39 w/ 10 yr daughter. He's been divorced for 9 yrs & has a beautiful relationship w/ her. Been dating for 2 mns & have a strong bond 4 time. He's told he hasn't had these feelings since her mother. How long should I expect b4 I meet her? I would be concerned that you haven't already met the child after two months. A single parent of a 10 year old usually spends quite a bit of time driving them around, etc., it seems like he must be going to great lengths to PREVENT such a meeting, if you're spending significant amounts of time with him. Perhaps the child lives with Mom? If that's the case, then 2 months...

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How do I let a nice woman know she's becoming too attached (clingy, needy) to me without hurting her feelings?? (we're just friends) Being friends includes being an ally of the other's person's development -- helping them achieve a healthy balance in their own life, an appropriate level of independence, etc. If you look at it from that perspective, you should be able to see that your friend may be weak in this area: she tends to become dependent on others (not just you, probably). If you hold yourself as an...

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Someone I care very much is interested in drugs, and wishes to, well indulge. How can I stop her before she starts down a slipery slope? She's 16, by the way. And please, none of that 'it's a teen/phase thing' crap. I want actual help. Please! You can't stop her. You CAN be a friend, which may not look the way you think it should look... she's going to have to find out for herself what consequences come with those actions, that's the real teacher in life. The way you can help is to stay engaged with her and help point them out. Another way you can help is to point out what you think is driving her actions --...

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The memory in my sad little Dell laptop is full-all I really use it for is music and internet. What can I safely dump to make more room? You can do was hellfirespawn says (http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1716252) and add external disk storage. Or, you can take it into the shop and have them upgrade the hard drive to a larger capacity. I would favor the latter in most cases, because having an external drive can be inconvenient when it's time to move your laptop around.

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How do we measure winding temperature of transformer? There are thermocouples which are basically just two dissimilar metal wires twisted at the end. The wires are varnish insulated for the rest of their length. You embed the thermocouple tip into the transformer as it's being wound, and hook up the other end of the thermocouple wires to a ammeter. The current generated indicates the temperature of the winding. This was a practice I...

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What method do you use to stay awake in class? Get plenty of sleep the night before.

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What is the meaning of life? Life is about being fully alive. Being fully alive is about engaging completely with this moment, and then the next moment, and then the one after that. In Zen, we say "chop wood, carry water" -- meaning "do each thing wholeheartedly...", i.e. letting go of ideas that interfere with fully experiencing life here-and-now. It sounds simple, but it takes a lifetime to...

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Where is the best place for a someone from the U.K. to move to if they are thinking about leaving the country? Which country will make the U.K. money stretch furthest? I have a good friend who moved from the U.S. to Panama last year. He loves it... the country is beautiful, the people are friendly, the government is stable, a dollar (which is cheap compared to the pound) goes a long way, and there's quite a few English-speakers in the country because of the long U.S. presence in support of the canal.

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If you found yourself stuck (like Aron Ralston did) with one hand pinned beneath a boulder in some remote wilderness canyon and your only option for survival was to cut off your hand.. Would you or could you do it? Of course nobody knows until they're in that situation... I think I would do it, but what a horrific possibility to contemplate! What I appreciate about Ralston's story is that it didn't stop him from doing what he loves -- after going through all that trauma and severing his own arm, he was back up and hiking as soon as he recovered. Plus, he shares about his experience with...

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With the Answerbag T-shirts now on the market, what other AB products would you like to see? An Answerbag Emergency Tranquilizer Kit -- basically a syringe filled with thorazine, to take the edge off of those over-the-top comment threads and rows of -5's in your profile.

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I think Im becoming addicted to AB, I'm starting to dream about questions and answers I contribute.... anyone else have this problem... is there a 12 step programme? Congratulations! You are the 1,000,000th Answerbag user to notice and comment on this phenomenon! You've won a free answer informing you of your status! :)

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Can a man and woman really be "just friends?" Or is one person hoping for something the other person isn't? Yes, it's possible to have a genuine friendship, and it's not true that the absence of any romantic or sexual feelings is a prerequisite for this. The fact that you may be attracted to your friend does not mean the friendship isn't genuine. As long as you're both OK with the situation and aren't acting on those feelings, the relationship can be quite stable. There is...

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My GF just broke up with me. Been very happy lately talking about marriage, houses, kids. Says she needs time to think, believes she was born to be with a women. Dated 1 in the past. Says if she was ever to be with a guy again it would be me.What do I do? Give her room, let her decide what she's going to do. Don't cling, don't pressure her. Keep the communication channels open, but make sure she knows that you respect her right to make those kinds of choices without fear of manipulation or pressure from you. She'll either be back or she won't. If she comes back, no problem. If she leaves, heal and move on.

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Can anyone give me a Link for a download of Internet Explorer for Mac? I can't find it anywhere. But it said that they weren't doing downloads for it, if you click the first link that pops up on google. But My friend has IE on her Mac... You'd be getting a VERY old version of IE. The Wikipedia article implies that it's no longer available for download at all: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Explorer_for_Mac

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What should I do right now? I am really bored.. Be bored. People invest a lot of effort into escaping boredom, which means they never really learn much about it because they're always running in the opposite direction. If you can be bored without trying to escape, you can discover some very important things about yourself and life.

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Will the judge consider supervised visits with non-custodial parent if a counselor and the child both feel it is in the childs best interest? Yes, the judge will consider anything which seems to be in the child's best interest, including visits from any non-custodial adult -- it doesn't even have to be a parent. The best person to persuade would be the child's social worker -- if you can get the social worker to recommend this in their regular court reports, it's very likely a judge would grant it. However,...

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How do you kiss someone (yes proper kiss) without showing nervousness and that it's your 1st time? Initiate it? Go in for it quick/strong/easy? Wait for the other person to start it? I can't over do it either! It has to be right. Help! Don't worry about showing nervousness. It's perfectly natural, there's nothing "wrong" with being nervous in that situation, and all attempts to suppress your nervousness will turn into something weird and unnatural.

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If you had to spend all of your vacations for the rest of your life in the same exact spot, where would you go? Once I was a guest briefly at a beautiful home perched on a cliff near Carmel, CA. The sea pounds against the rocks below, the cypress trees lean into the wind trying to get a better look at the Pacific, and the sunsets are spectacular. I don't think I would ever be able to go back to work though, so "vacation" might not be the right word.

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What can I do to increase my self-esteem and stop the thoughts of "I try and try to please everyone, but someone is always upset, mad, hurt, etc" and "that nothing I do seems to be good enough for the people around me"? I am not a fan of trying to stop negative thoughts or replace them with "positive" thoughts -- it's sort of like trying to put a band-aid on a large gash: it sort of looks a bit better, but doesn't really resolve the problem, and you're always left secretly knowing that there's something fishy about the process. The basic concern you have is what I would call a...

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Would you ever allow a very good friend to take a peek while you're doing "IT"? I do IT every day, and often people are watching. In fact, sometimes we all get together at work in a conference room and do IT, sharing and fumbling around, laughing and talking. Information Technology is really a team sport.

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How would you feel if your 18 year old son just told you he signed up for the US Marines and gets on the bus in two weeks? What can I say to him? The deed is done, and he's made his decision. You can't undo it, and he's becoming a man and will have to make his own choices and live with the consequences. I would probably not bother expressing my doubts to him, I would try to wish him the best, express my love, and ask him to return home in one piece. Good luck to you both.

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Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Awww, what a quaint question! Sorry, but Santa does neither anymore. Now he just runs the global franchisee network from his satellite-linked Command Center at the North pole. The Santas you see coming out of your fireplaces are contractors hired from local talent and paid in Euros. When the world population hit 5 billion, the old system was strained beyond capacity, and had to be...

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If you have dealt with adversity, a stretch of bad luck, etc or know someone who as, do you feel it has made you (or them) stronger, or perhaps, a bit cynical and nothing more? Yes, I think difficulties are an essential part of development. Just as a muscle will not develop without pushing against resistance, humans who don't encounter problems do not grow to their full potential. Of course, we don't want problems... that's what makes them problems. Once in a while we're smart enough to see that our problems are simply the current curriculum...

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How about a problem-free zone? Anyone out there who has no complaints about anything and feels grateful for his/her life? It sounds nice on paper, but I don't think I'd want to hang out there very long! In any case, it seems problems are an essential part of life to me. There's an old Buddhist story about this -- a man went to see the Buddha to get help with his problems. He explained that while his life was generally good, he had problems with his wife: sometimes she was disrespectful. The...

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If you could change one thing about yourself,what would it be and why? I want to be taller! (I play a lot of basketball, and 5' 10" just doesn't get the job done...)

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Why 31/2 digit display show upto 1999 only? "3 1/2 digits" means that one of the display digits is limited: it can only display a blank or the number 1. This makes the display hardware cheaper than 4 digits, and it also takes up less space. The range on such an instrument is 000...1999. Values above that must be scaled and lose precision.

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Have you ever had your feelings hurt bad enough on AB to make you cry? Well... I shouldn't admit this, but there are a number of friends I've made on Answerbag who have managed to break my heart that badly. Don't tell the Tough Guy competition judges, because I really think I'm in the running still.

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Our very dear 'bagger' M Moon and her husband Eric are celebrating 25 glorious years of marriage! who would like to help me congratulate them on this special anniversary? That's a long time! Congratulations, Marlene.

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If AB announced plans for an AB Picnic, how far would you travel to attend? Well we just had one on the west coast of the US (CA), so I suppose the East coast people should get a chance. I would probably buy a plane ticket for that.

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If you wrote an autobiography, would you have a chapter or at least a few pages about your experiences on Answerbag? Yeah, definitely a chapter or two! Answerbag has a way of bleeding into real life if you don't wash completely separate loads.

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What is the purpose of asking questions? I think there are three basic kinds of questions: a) those designed to get factual answers b) those designed to stimulate conversation c) those designed to produce new insight or awakening. You could call these categories "ordinary questions", "social questions", and "transformative questions". To me, the latter are the most interesting. A...

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Why are we 'here'? We're here to be alive. That's actually much more challenging than one would think, because there are so many ways to kill life off without actually allowing your body to die: hanging on to the past, hanging on to your ideas about the future, resenting life or others, being trapped in guilt, clinging to security and taking no risks, trading truth for comfort, or simply failing to...

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I finally made it to the "Professor" rank. It took all of about 10 months for me haha. How long did it take you guys to get there? It is interesting to see the rate of "progress" through the levels in some cases. There was a time when I used to discard all of my points regularly and start over (by asking the staff to reset them to 0). I called this operation "badgicide" -- to kill the badge. I think I did it 4 times, and I would say I hit the "professor" level within a week or two each...

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Is heaven exists Oh, definitely: this morning after my daily 30 minutes of seated meditation, I walked outside. There was a light breeze, perfect temperature, and the sun was wasting golden light on the birds and trees and sleeping buildings. I bought a tall drip coffee 200 yards away at Starbucks and sipped it delightedly all the way home, absolutely riveted to the bones by the beauty and wonder of this...

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In your own words, what is the definition of reality? Actually, my own words aren't nearly as good as those of Philip K. Dick: "Reality is that which doesn't disappear when you stop believing in it". There's a lot to love about this definition: first, it's relatively precise, which is tough to achieve for a definition of something so broad. Second, it doesn't attempt to CONSTRUCT reality from components...

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I did somthing really stuped, i was fighting with a friend and i couldnt take it ant more i felt ike i wanted to die, and i was so frusterated so i got a pair of scissors and cut my leg, i feel so bad.. but i had to do somthing.. i regret it so much Well it seems like you are smart enough to regret this, the only question is whether you're going to develop a taste for cutting as a way to control your feelings. It's a good idea to get some help if your frustration is that severe. Talk to your parents, or an adult friend, or the counselor at school, or your pastor at church, etc, and tell them how you've been feeling and...

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When I try to retrieve my Yahoo messages from my e-mail I click on the icon but nothing happens.. is there no way I can communicate with someone over the phone or is that a thing of the past, I'm 65 years old and this is not how we generaly communicate.. You're going to have trouble getting help with your question as it's written, because you're not providing people with enough details. What icon are you clicking on? As to your question about the phone, yes of course you can call people on the phone if you have their phone number. That has nothing to do with email.

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Patrick White quoted in his book "Voss" basically that Atheists refuse to see their own magnificence, so therefore refuse to believe in a divine being. What do you think about this? It's an interesting idea, but it presumes a dubious premise and jumps to a false conclusion: the dubious premise is that atheists do not see their own magnificence, the false conclusion is that magnificence proves the existence of divinity. I'm not an atheist, but I know atheists who DO see their own magnificence, and the magnificence of the whole universe in fact. But the notion...

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The current climate on AB seems to be one of paranoia, laced with suspicion of other users. Why can't we all just get along? Can't you see we get nowhere by accusing each other of these grandiose wrongdoings? This is the INTERNET, people!!! I think the online nature of the community is a double-edged sword: on the plus side, you can make great friends easily, and pick through a large menu of candidates when choosing whom you're going to hang out with. On the minus side, when things get weird, they get REALLY weird. The gossip, the backbiting, the cliques attacking each other in waves... it can really be tiring. Having...

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Do humans really have souls? There's no objective evidence for the existence of a soul. My own view is that this is a notion human beings have cooked up because we tend to crave permanence above all else -- life is constantly changing, everything is born and then dies. That constant change produces anxiety, because we can't predict or control life as much as we would like. To compensate for this anxiety, we...

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I was wondering, when is it "ok" to have sex without a condom? I'm referring to the entire "that time of the month" thing. I've heard as long as its within two days after you've started and two days before you end? You really should not even be thinking about having sex until you're completely clear on this topic and some other very important topics as well! Cool your jets for a few years, take some time to mature and enjoy your teen years. Sex isn't going anywhere, it will still be there when you're ready.

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Me and my best friend always argue/fight with each other and its always over somthing stuped.. do you think this is normal, because best friends are not suppose to fight, do you think we werent meant to be best friends? Who told you best friends are not supposed to fight? Friends often fight as much or more than non-friends, actually! Also, there's no "meant to be" with regard to being friends. If you like your friend, and she likes you, and you can get along... it's really up to the two of you to decide whether or not to be friends. It's not like there's some giant finger in...

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Does it always take this long for AB to send a confirmation email? If this is how the site is run I don't think I will be visiting very often! Answerbag has chronic and persistent problems sending e-mail for confirmations. If you haven't received your confirmation, send mail to admin@answerbag.com and they can help you.

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I feel like crap because my girlfriend thinks that I am too controlling somtimes, I have sort of a trust issue, anything advice on this situation? I think one of the most important things to learn about relationships is the importance of self-restraint: NOT doing something that you have the urge to do, when that action isn't helpful. So if you have the urge to control her, learning to restrain yourself from ACTING on that urge can be very important. We all have many thoughts and feelings that come and go... much of it is just...

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What would the first rule be of the "AB Fightclub"? Whomever exercises the most restraint wins.

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People have been saying that AB is NOT about the POINTS. If that's the case, should we just abolish the points and rankings system altogether? Don't give me points for this one, I won't give you any too. There's basically no chance that the points system or rankings will go away. Even before we had points, we had a ranking system. There's been so much discussion on this topic from every conceivable angle that it's hard to imagine anyone could say anything new that hasn't been discussed to death already. I would like to see the system distinguish between quantity and...

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Why would a married man carry 3 condoms in the pick up if he wasn't preparing for action? Said he found them. Duh? We're Married 26 years and he needs condoms with ME? I think you've answered your own question, really.

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My birth date is 23/02/1964. My boyfriend is 12/04/1958. We have a long distance relationship at the moment and talk every day and will soon be together. My question is are we really that compatible as a pisces female and aries man? I realize that you've asked for an answer from an astrological perspective. I don't know anything about astrological interpretation, but I know something about relationships... it sounds like you have serious doubts about your compatibility with your boyfriend. It's fine if you want to look around for a supernatural explanation or guidance, but don't overlook more...

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Why is it natural to want somthing when you cant have it, but when you can have it your not interested? We tend to be chronically dissatisfied with life. For most of us, it's a low-level background "hum" of living -- life may be going well, but there's still this vague feeling that something is missing, something is incomplete, or just "wrong" somehow. This vague dissatisfaction gets "plugged into" specific wants. Maybe my car is old, so I want a new...

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After the last guy broke my heart, it took 2 years to let someone else back in. I have major trust issues and my recent ex KNEW this. He still pursued me anyway and just recently ended it. How can I recover more quickly and learn not to shut out everyone? There's two extremes: you can close yourself off and protect yourself from all harm, or you can be wide open and innocent and get stomped on over and over again. Neither extreme is healthy. Trust isn't an absolute on or off switch, we trust different people to different degrees and with different limits. You SHOULD do some self-protection, and you SHOULD try to be open to new...

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Is life already mapped out for us or is it dependent on the choices that we make? The latter.

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