Answerbag: Headache's answers

Answer to Have you ever wanted to share something you found online, but held back because that would say something about your search habits?

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:29:16 -0700

Have you ever wanted to share something you found online, but held back because that would say something about your search habits?

yes, most definitely. At work I had a series of really cute family bath time pics but didn't show them around out of fear that my colleagues would realise i found them with the search term 'pre-pubescent kids in the bath'.

Answer to Do you read fiction?

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:23:50 -0700

Do you read fiction?

No, I prefer made up imaginative writing.

Answer to if you saw someone you dont like drowning what would you do?

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:19:43 -0700

if you saw someone you dont like drowning what would you do?

Jump in and cut his penis off. (If it's a woman, both her tits)

Answer to Do you think modern buildings should go back to making fire escapes outside of buildings ?

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:14:30 -0700

Do you think modern buildings should go back to making fire escapes outside of buildings ?

No, because fires are always inside so whats the use of having an escape route where there will never be a fire? It's like putting prisoners the wrong side of the wall.

Answer to What would be your first line of defense if attacked by a gang of midgets?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:57:48 -0800

What would be your first line of defense if attacked by a gang of midgets?

Pitbull terriers

Answer to WHERES THE SAFEST PLACE TO STAB SOMEONE

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:55:05 -0800

WHERES THE SAFEST PLACE TO STAB SOMEONE

in a hospital

Answer to Could a government exist whose only source of money is limited, voluntary donations from individuals?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:53:48 -0800

Could a government exist whose only source of money is limited, voluntary donations from individuals?

No, don't be such an idiot.

Answer to Has your privacy been invaded?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:52:41 -0800

Has your privacy been invaded?

Yes, aliens broke into my toilet while i was doing a poo

Answer to Do you find texting lingo annoying?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:51:04 -0800

Do you find texting lingo annoying?

No, it just makes me angry

Answer to Do you want to be like your parents?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:49:34 -0800

Do you want to be like your parents?

No, they're both dead.

Answer to What ordinary item might also work very well as a self-defense weapon?

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:48:12 -0800

What ordinary item might also work very well as a self-defense weapon?

A tissue

Answer to I'm gonna be your __________ .

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:46:48 -0800

I'm gonna be your __________ .

toilet

Answer to Can a straight guy fond of laying his hand or arm on another man's shoulder?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:13:02 -0700

Can a straight guy fond of laying his hand or arm on another man's shoulder?

No way!!! That's definite no, no for a straight guy! In the June edition of Scientific America they actually stated that this is one of the earliest 'gay' moves. i'm sorry to tell you but it seems you may be 'GAY'!

Answer to Am I tho only one who refuses to read answers in all CAPS?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:09:28 -0700

Am I tho only one who refuses to read answers in all CAPS?

NO, I DO TOO

Answer to In this world of instant gratification, why doesn't God answer us on demand?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:08:16 -0700

In this world of instant gratification, why doesn't God answer us on demand?

He doesn't have an email account

Answer to In this world of instant gratification, why doesn't God answer us on demand?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:08:16 -0700

In this world of instant gratification, why doesn't God answer us on demand?

He doesn't have an email account

Answer to When you die, what will people remember you for?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:01:51 -0700

When you die, what will people remember you for?

for using, random commas

Answer to My boyfriend got his exgirlfriend a job working with him and he didnt call me for 5 days stating he was mad at me. Was he cheating?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:00:56 -0700

My boyfriend got his exgirlfriend a job working with him and he didnt call me for 5 days stating he was mad at me. Was he cheating?

If he was cheating it's because you was not giving him what he needs. The cheater is never the guilty party... we cheat because of neglect. It's your fault if he did, but i don't know if he did and so maybe you're innocent.

Answer to please suggest how to increase the height

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:57:49 -0700

please suggest how to increase the height

cut your legs off at the knees.... then everything around you will look bigger.

Answer to Do you have plenty of ammunition?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:54:32 -0700

Do you have plenty of ammunition?

did have but now it's a sticky mess all over my dogs face.

Answer to True or false -Our bodies were designed to last a great deal longer then they do. It is we who shorten it!?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:52:05 -0700

True or false -Our bodies were designed to last a great deal longer then they do. It is we who shorten it!?

you can't shorten the body unless you remove the bones... and who does that at home?

Answer to Why was Christ crucified actually?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:50:42 -0700

Why was Christ crucified actually?

because he was Christ

Answer to If you have nothing to say, __________________.

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:49:50 -0700

If you have nothing to say, __________________.

say it

Answer to Why does a steel nail sink but a steel boat float?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:48:18 -0700

Why does a steel nail sink but a steel boat float?

because the nail is heavier than the boat.

Answer to how often should a grandparent help out with, or babysit thier grandchildren? What is normal?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:35:29 -0700

how often should a grandparent help out with, or babysit thier grandchildren? What is normal?

you gotta accept YOU'RE the mother and if you don't have time for your own kids (or need a break from them) then you should maybe think of putting them into a government home, and in this particular case I think it is probably the best thing for them.

Answer to What is something you would find in a hardware store?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:34:49 -0700

What is something you would find in a hardware store?

Normally some imbecile that serves you. I don't know why, but assistants in these kind of places are always a little backwards. (Not the proprietors... just the employees!)

Answer to Most men dislike................?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:21:11 -0700

Most men dislike................?

bald headed, bearded women.

Answer to What's the longest you've gone without showering? [honest!]

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:19:33 -0700

What's the longest you've gone without showering? [honest!]

3 years... though I did use deoderant.

Answer to When is the best time to send a cow to slaughter?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:18:41 -0700

When is the best time to send a cow to slaughter?

Just before the divorce is finalised... that way you get to keep everything.

Answer to With all the current job losses are you seeing any new homeless people in your area?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:16:26 -0700

With all the current job losses are you seeing any new homeless people in your area?

Are you suggesting holmeless peopole have no money? that's just bizarre.

Answer to Do you get anxious or nervous when you start a new job?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:13:04 -0700

Do you get anxious or nervous when you start a new job?

Yes, severely. It's not unusual that I lose control of my bowels on the first day. I go prepared now.

Answer to If you had a choice, what state would you live in permanently?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:47:49 -0700

If you had a choice, what state would you live in permanently?

A drunken, drug-induced state. (Washington)

Answer to We are nothing without _ _ _ _ _ _.

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:45:56 -0700

We are nothing without _ _ _ _ _ _.

everything.

Answer to Is it really illegal to take a dump on someone while they're sleeping? It was just a practical joke but now I'm being summoned to court

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:09:37 -0700

Is it really illegal to take a dump on someone while they're sleeping? It was just a practical joke but now I'm being summoned to court

I've done that before.... my mother was furious! As long as you don't touch them in any physical way it's perfectly acceptable... & don't worry (we all do it.)

Answer to Many cops argue that it is important to give speeding tickets because speed the leading cause of accidents. How can it be that driving 65 is safe but 66 is not safe? How can such a generalization be accurate?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:57:29 -0700

Many cops argue that it is important to give speeding tickets because speed the leading cause of accidents. How can it be that driving 65 is safe but 66 is not safe? How can such a generalization be accurate?

Most cops hava also been lobotomized... I wouldn't take much notice. Drive as fast as you like... just be careful if you're too drunk.

Answer to What comes to mind when i say "wrapping"?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:52:44 -0700

What comes to mind when i say "wrapping"?

2Pac... East Coast... West Coast... Gangsta

Answer to So if you were on a web site like this one...and kept seeing someone's answers and questions posted...and you really liked their answers and questions ..and their personailty would you pursue something more with them? friends? numbers?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:47:07 -0700

So if you were on a web site like this one...and kept seeing someone's answers and questions posted...and you really liked their answers and questions ..and their personailty would you pursue something more with them? friends? numbers?

send them erotic comments... gradually becoming more & more perverse. If they like you in the same way... they'll respond.

Answer to For Pro-Choice Ab users....we live in the United States and we all have the right to choose what we believe...but I would like to know.at what point in pregnancy do you think is too late to have an abortion?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:45:48 -0700

For Pro-Choice Ab users....we live in the United States and we all have the right to choose what we believe...but I would like to know.at what point in pregnancy do you think is too late to have an abortion?

It's never too late. As long as it's done before the age of 4 (before schooling starts.)

Answer to Did you have any Teeth taken out or do you still have the full set...?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:43:55 -0700

Did you have any Teeth taken out or do you still have the full set...?

I've three teeth left.

Answer to How do you feel about reality tv?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:41:25 -0700

How do you feel about reality tv?

It's completely false.

Answer to Why guys wear earrings, these are girls things, what you think?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:40:19 -0700

Why guys wear earrings, these are girls things, what you think?

men have been wearing earrings a lot longer than women.

Answer to How has Richard Wagner's music influenced popular music?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:36:17 -0700

How has Richard Wagner's music influenced popular music?

It's the father of extreme right skinhead noise.

Answer to Are their any particular people (top one or two) in your past that you despise? Why? For instance, if you were to give an award acceptance speech who would you specifically say "I do not thank ______" to?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:31:24 -0700

Are their any particular people (top one or two) in your past that you despise? Why? For instance, if you were to give an award acceptance speech who would you specifically say "I do not thank ______" to?

My wife... I hate her!

Answer to What is something that tastes good with mustard?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:29:32 -0700

What is something that tastes good with mustard?

Chocolate biscuits

Answer to Since France gave us the Statue of Liberty, what would be an appropriate gift to give them in return?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:27:49 -0700

Since France gave us the Statue of Liberty, what would be an appropriate gift to give them in return?

George Bush

Answer to What sort of jewelry does a heterosexual man like to wear other than a watch?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:27:00 -0700

What sort of jewelry does a heterosexual man like to wear other than a watch?

A clit-ring.

Answer to What was your job 5 years ago?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:26:13 -0700

What was your job 5 years ago?

Gathering bums up off the street and chucking their soiled asses into jail.

Answer to What is the most unfair reason for which you have ever lost a job?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:23:36 -0700

What is the most unfair reason for which you have ever lost a job?

I was treading grapes and was fired for having "small toes"????

Answer to Have you ever had a pet fish? what did you name him and how long did he live?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:21:42 -0700

Have you ever had a pet fish? what did you name him and how long did he live?

Yes, I named him "Dinner". He was alive for about 2 minutes.

Answer to Who is the most Attractive woman you know?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:15:04 -0800

Who is the most Attractive woman you know?

Bob Hoskins.

Answer to Have you ever hung anything from the rear view mirror of your vehicle?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:14:32 -0800

Have you ever hung anything from the rear view mirror of your vehicle?

Yes, a dwarf.

Answer to If you could tell anybody in the world that you love them and you miss them, who would it be?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:13:37 -0800

If you could tell anybody in the world that you love them and you miss them, who would it be?

George W Bush... failing that, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Answer to What is the best thing about a guy?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:12:05 -0800

What is the best thing about a guy?

His funeral.

Answer to What do you think about an AB convention? A meeting place once a year for any AB'ers interested in meeting in person.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:10:58 -0800

What do you think about an AB convention? A meeting place once a year for any AB'ers interested in meeting in person.

You're joking aren't you... ABer's are the slyest, vilest, sickest, most depraved pathetic untrustworthy double-headed snakes that have ever had the misfortune to see light. What would it be... champagne and knives in the back?

Answer to Why do people type thanx instead of thanks? It's just one more letter.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:09:54 -0800

Why do people type thanx instead of thanks? It's just one more letter.

Thanx @ thanks x. I'm too tired...

Answer to Why do people type thanx instead of thanks? It's just one more letter.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:07:54 -0800

Why do people type thanx instead of thanks? It's just one more letter.

No it's not. Thanx compared to Thanks x is 2 letters & 1 space less . If it was 3 letters less it could be Thanksex.

Answer to Welcome to the jungle ___________?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:01:47 -0800

Welcome to the jungle ___________?

If you had left that as a statement we would all have understood. You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby... you gonna die...

Answer to Who else loves hunting but me.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:59:55 -0800

Who else loves hunting but me.

Yes, I would hunt anything but you.

Answer to Name something you buy that is almost always white?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:59:00 -0800

Name something you buy that is almost always white?

Coca cola?

Answer to What was the name of the Martin Scorcese film which portrayed a family of Italian lobsters?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:56:48 -0800

What was the name of the Martin Scorcese film which portrayed a family of Italian lobsters?

better now... thank god for the 'edit'.

Answer to What are the six pieces used in a game of chess?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:50:12 -0800

What are the six pieces used in a game of chess?

six pawns.

Answer to Name something you buy that is almost always white?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:43:27 -0800

Name something you buy that is almost always white?

wedding dress... bandages (though many times there's not much different).

Answer to How close are we to medical technology that will render humans nearly immortal (except for deliberate murder/suicidce, fatal accidents, and the like)?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:58:23 -0800

How close are we to medical technology that will render humans nearly immortal (except for deliberate murder/suicidce, fatal accidents, and the like)?

Quite far... we can't even cure the common cold yet!

Answer to If I want to change my car's engine oil by myself, what tool do I need to get? Can you list it all, thanks.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:56:51 -0800

If I want to change my car's engine oil by myself, what tool do I need to get? Can you list it all, thanks.

If you have to ask, the only tool you need is a mechanic.

Answer to How do you start feeling comfortable around new people when you're a shy person?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:54:55 -0800

How do you start feeling comfortable around new people when you're a shy person?

I'm afraid the answer lies in alcohol... hit the bottle.

Answer to What is the secret to winning on the slot machines in a casino? Stay home! loll

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:53:29 -0800

What is the secret to winning on the slot machines in a casino? Stay home! loll

Own them.

Answer to Do you have pictures of your family and friends on your walls?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:50:24 -0800

Do you have pictures of your family and friends on your walls?

No. I bought the house to keep them out!

Answer to How are you supposed to cuddle when you're worried about your breath?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:49:21 -0800

How are you supposed to cuddle when you're worried about your breath?

head to toe... as long as your feet are more supportable than your breath.

Answer to Why do men like to put women down sometimes?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:40:14 -0800

Why do men like to put women down sometimes?

It's to bring them to their level.

Answer to Have you ever peed your pants after the age eight?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:23:40 -0800

Have you ever peed your pants after the age eight?

No, but I peed somebody elses.

Answer to How to came mailsex warker profation

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:20:04 -0800

How to came mailsex warker profation

I have never read such senseless English... I'm sure you didn't even need to try.

Answer to Does high school fly by fast?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:18:49 -0800

Does high school fly by fast?

Not if you're a teacher, no.

Answer to When you are sad, what are you doing?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:18:04 -0800

When you are sad, what are you doing?

Looking in the mirror.

Answer to I love you, you love ____________?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:15:52 -0800

I love you, you love ____________?

cheat.

Answer to What is something fun to do only half naked?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:32:45 -0800

What is something fun to do only half naked?

give birth.

Answer to Where are all the cool people at? Answerbag seems a barren wasteland this time of night. ;)

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:31:36 -0800

Where are all the cool people at? Answerbag seems a barren wasteland this time of night. ;)

They're on their way... don't fret... ;)

Answer to On a scale of 1-10, How well do you like your S/O's cooking?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 06:24:49 -0800

On a scale of 1-10, How well do you like your S/O's cooking?

10... when she sticks to ready-made microwave meals.

Answer to Jews say that women & kids killed in Gaza are collateral damage.Isn't it ok then to say gas chambered jews who were killed in WW 2 are also collateral damage. Sounds fair enough eh ? If it's good for one then it should be good enough for the other.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 06:11:59 -0800

Jews say that women & kids killed in Gaza are collateral damage.Isn't it ok then to say gas chambered jews who were killed in WW 2 are also collateral damage. Sounds fair enough eh ? If it's good for one then it should be good enough for the other.

You're confused. You seem angered by the first statement and yet you are in agreement with it. Your terms of sgreement are "it's fair enough... good for one good for the other.." You're trying to make a point and you're making it badly.

Answer to When I get an erection my penis becomes (even) smaller. Does anyone else suffer from 'shrinkage' in this way? Is it common?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 05:28:52 -0800

When I get an erection my penis becomes (even) smaller. Does anyone else suffer from 'shrinkage' in this way? Is it common?

You pathetic idiot... get a life TROLL!

Answer to Have you lost your mind?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 05:01:39 -0800

Have you lost your mind?

Mine's misplaced... its somewhere up my arse. If I had lost it how would I be able to tell you where it is?

Answer to Do you massage your partner?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:45:12 -0800

Do you massage your partner?

Yes. She enjoys a good SMS.

Answer to How long have you and you s/o been together?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:44:01 -0800

How long have you and you s/o been together?

We've been working our way towards a bitter divorce for over 8 years now.

Answer to What's the difference between forgiving and forgetting?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:36:19 -0800

What's the difference between forgiving and forgetting?

When you forget it's because you're senile; when you forgive it because you're stupid.

Answer to Have you ever helped someone when no one was looking?

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:33:30 -0800

Have you ever helped someone when no one was looking?

No, what would be the point in that? One wouldn't get any kudos... and we all know, the most important thing is POINTS. Ps: I wouldn't even help if the entire world was watching. People should keep their problems to themselves and stop being so selfish.

Answer to I'm 6ft+... so why does my girlfriend keep saying I'm too small?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:17:24 -0800

I'm 6ft+... so why does my girlfriend keep saying I'm too small?

Actually she's a dwarf... which makes it all the more bizarre?!

Answer to Do you consider yourself middle class or which class would you put yourself in?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:15:38 -0800

Do you consider yourself middle class or which class would you put yourself in?

Lowest of the low... I am an underclass all by myself.

Answer to What is the best book you ever read?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:13:58 -0800

What is the best book you ever read?

Quick & Easy Indian Cooking, by Madhur Jaffrey. Though the Jalfrezi Chicken was a litle disappointing..

Answer to Am I wrong to think that honesty is the basis of a relationship?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:05:59 -0800

Am I wrong to think that honesty is the basis of a relationship?

You can be as honest as you like.... but if you've only got a 3inch plonker, you're f*cked (though not literally).

Answer to Guys what looks sexiest on a gal....sexy lingere or just your tee shirt?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:03:13 -0800

Guys what looks sexiest on a gal....sexy lingere or just your tee shirt?

Sister: T-shirt.... mother: lingerie.

Answer to Are you over your ex, how long did it take and how do you know?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:00:51 -0800

Are you over your ex, how long did it take and how do you know?

Yes. It took 10 years of marriage and a divorve.

Answer to WHY can't I ever get the dadblastit garbage bags open? STRESSES me out!!!

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:32:44 -0800

WHY can't I ever get the dadblastit garbage bags open? STRESSES me out!!!

put it in the microwave for 5 secs.

Answer to How can a man determine whether a first date with a woman has gone well?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:31:00 -0800

How can a man determine whether a first date with a woman has gone well?

if he wakes up next to her mother wearing a used condom?

Answer to Can you describe yourself in one word?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:29:54 -0800

Can you describe yourself in one word?

despicable

Answer to What should I get my sports-loving boyfriend for a christmas/anniversary gift

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:02:53 -0800

What should I get my sports-loving boyfriend for a christmas/anniversary gift

A tennis ball.

Answer to Could you handle driving in the rain?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:00:28 -0800

Could you handle driving in the rain?

As long as it wasn't wet.

Answer to I am a 14 year old boy is there any other ways i can masturbate with out my hands.

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:58:26 -0800

I am a 14 year old boy is there any other ways i can masturbate with out my hands.

Have you got a dog? If not try asking your mom... if she loves you, she'll help?

Answer to Name a popular aphrodisiac?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:53:44 -0800

Name a popular aphrodisiac?

Celibacy... it's a sure fire way to have you thinking of nothing else.

Answer to If you drink heavily for a year or so and then stop drinking, will your tolerance for alcohol decrease? (i.e. will it take less alcohol to get drunk now as opposed to the heavy drinking days?)

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:51:26 -0800

If you drink heavily for a year or so and then stop drinking, will your tolerance for alcohol decrease? (i.e. will it take less alcohol to get drunk now as opposed to the heavy drinking days?)

I love it when alcoholics try to save money.

Answer to I have a really pretty carved headboard and footboard that don't fit my bed, so I want to use them for some other purpose. What could I use them as, or make out of them?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:32:18 -0800

I have a really pretty carved headboard and footboard that don't fit my bed, so I want to use them for some other purpose. What could I use them as, or make out of them?

A headstone... though you'll have to treat the wood first.

Answer to Should i be scared to give birth

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:12:24 -0800

Should i be scared to give birth

That depends what you're giving birth to.