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how many of you are thinking of giving up rather than deal with the changes? This is crap, I won't be back I don't think. I've tried to post this simple answer three times now and it's disappeared, I don't know if I can give points or not, and I just hate the whole thing.

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When is that last time you got scared? I can't remember the last time I got properly scared, though I did jump a little last week when a large bird flew straight into my window.

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What does your family leave out on Christmas Eve as a 'thank you' for Santa? My mum would make what's called a "clootie dumpling" every Christmas, and my parents would leave out a slice of that and a large dram of whisky. Everyone I knew left Santa a dram, and even as a young child I used to wonder how Santa managed to deliver to everyone, as he must have been hammered.

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Is a high testosterone level in men created by success, wealth, and fame....or is the high level the reason for success? I believe it is the latter, and that is what gives them the drive and aggression (and desire to prove themselves the top dog, alpha male) that spurs them on to success.

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What is the most annoyingest song ever?(no comments on my spelling plz,or I may get ya) I'm not sure if it is a well-known song outside of the UK (if not, you are all very lucky), but I would be happy never to hear Is This The Way To Amarillo ever again.

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What's one Team that YOU'd Never root for? Rangers (Glasgow).

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Im 17 and my fiance is 22 can he get in trouble? You really have to say where you live before anyone can answer that. It is illegal in some places (if you are having sex) but not in others.

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Is your mom a whore? It's just a question!! I wasn't saying anything, just asking, chill, you can say no. Jeeze why do people get so mad when I ask questions like this? Yes. She had to take some time off when I was born though, A) to get her figure back, and B) to wait until I was old enough (14) to be her pimp, as she was tired working for others and wanted to have a nice family business.

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CD gift: What current bands/cd's would you recommend for a person who's favorite band is Led Zeppelin? I don't know him that well, so I figure a case of his favorite beer and some decent tunes...:) thanks! Them Crooked Vultures perhaps, (featuring Led Zep's bass player).

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What is your local grocery store? Which one do you most often use? Asda.

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Which do you prefer, Basketball, Baseball or Football? I'm from the UK, so football for me.

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Isn't it a shame that, of all the things he did in his very short lifetime, that LOU GEHRIG is mostly remembered by people, for having a disease "nicknamed" after him? Would YOU want to be remembered like that? I wouldn't! I think that wordwide he is probably better known for the disease than anything else he did in his lifetime, which is a shame. I must confess that I've heard of him many times, but only in discussions about the disease, and didn't actually know what he was famous for until I read the other answers to your question. I thought he was an actor, and probably many people outside of the USA...

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Do you have an organization where you live that offers free rides to people who are to drunk to drive home during the holidays? (See link to know I'm talking about) No, it's either taxi, walk, or do something you shouldn't and get a free lift from the police.

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What do you feel your main purpose in life is? Haven't found one yet.

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How many people you expecting for Christmas lunch & are you having it at your house or someone elses? I'm going to my sisters, and there will be nine people there, possibly another five in the evening.

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What are some of the best stand-up comedians of all time? Billy Connolly. Frankie Boyle. Ricky Gervais.

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Do you have throw pillows on your couch? No, I hate them; they get in the way when I'm trying to get comfortable.

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Hypothetically speaking, if you were thrown into prison (no trial) and the jailers mentally and physically tortured you in serious and extremely painful ways, how long would it take for you to give in and say whatever they wanted to hear? I can't realistically say until I am put into that situation. It would depend on what type of torture was being inflicted, whether physical or mental, and what kinds of each. I could withstand just being punched and kicked etc. for a long while, but if they started sticking knives into my eyeballs or genitals I would fold pretty quickly.

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How do you obtain your music? (i.e. download for free, pay for downloads, buy CDs......) I'm old-fashioned and like to have the physical CD.

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When did you last hold a newborn baby? Around fourteen months ago, when my nephew was born.

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What's a memorable commercial for you? I posted this in a similar answer already, but they're good so worth doing again in my opinion:

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Do you know any sluts? Not that I can think of at the moment, though in the past yes. I remember when I was younger there was a girl who always wore a green jacket and this, coupled with her hobby, gave her a nickname. I was standing up the high street with some blokes I knew but didn't really know that well, and she walked past. Me:"Oh look, it's the lean, green, cock-sucking machine". One of...

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When I say Sigman Freud what is the first word that pops into your head? Cigar.

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Why should I do anything other than despise you? I'm cute.

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This is me after a serious night of intoxication. Have you ever had a night like this? I'd be disappointed with myself if I hadn't, and probably be asked to leave the country.

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What the hell does Shirley Temple do now? Last I heard she was pimping out some crack whores in Kensington.

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If you were a POW, would you attempt to escape or wait for the war to end so that your country could get you out? I'd try to escape. I'd rather go out fighting if possible rather than meekly accept my fate, and I've heard too many horror stories about how prisoners are often treated during times of war.

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Once animals are slaughtered, what happens to their nipples? I have a deal with my local abattoir, where I buy all their old nipples off them to use instead of gravel around my house. It gives my home a nice unique look, and also provides a handy source of snacking when the fridge is bare.

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Have you ever headbutted someone? Yes, a few times. The last bloke head-butted me first and broke my nose, so I had to return the favour; I'm nothing if not polite.

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Things You Wouldn't Hear in the Queen's Speech? This one goes out to all my homies on B Wing; respec' bluds.

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Does your age bother you? Yes, I much preferred being younger.

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What term is used for an employee who only speaks to people who they think can further their career? A brown-noser.

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Would you date someone with the same first name? No, I'm heterosexual.

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What are some things your parents told you as a child that you will not say to your children? Mine is "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" That one too, or "you're useless and will never amount to anything" and all that kind of crap. The comedian Billy Connolly did a routine about something parents say when you ask, say "Dad, can I get a new bike?" "Bike? I'll give you BIKE!!" Ummm, well thanks, that IS what I was asking for.....the fact that it was said in an aggressive tone and...

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Are geeks becoming the new bad boys? No.

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The weather forecast said it would not rain until this afternoon, but it is raining now! Can I get my money back? (I am very disappointed!! I wanted to go out for a walk this morning, and can't go this afternoon!!!) Walk in the rain, it's only water.

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Who is the most famous person who died by committing suicide? Out of the famous people who have committed suicide I would say that Kurt Cobain is probably the most well-known to the general populace to have died of that cause. I think that most people would have heard of Cleopatra, Hemingway etc. but may not know the circumstances of their deaths.

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Do you say "Merry Christmas" or Happy Holidays?" Merry Christmas. I'm from the UK and as far as I know people don't say Happy Holidays here, unless they do further south.

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My boyfriend is mad abt soccer. which according to all u people is the most addicting sports and why? Worldwide it would probably be football (soccer).

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Do you consider re-gifting rude? Yes, and really miserly.

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When somebody gives you less than the full 6 points for your answer, do you think that they are pulling your chain or do you think that you deserved it? Sometimes I agree with part of an answer, but might disagree with another part so I won't give it the full 6 points. Other times I might think that someone gave a good answer, but it wasn't quite as good as another answer to the same question which deserves to be ranked higher so the best one gets the full points and the other gets slightly less. For my own answers I am happy to...

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How would you rate yourself at gift wrapping 1 / 10. One being hopeless? 1. I can barely wrap a square box neatly.

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When one loses everything. does one win everything? No.

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It's 1:47pm EST and I got my pj's on already - how about you? I don't wear pyjamas, but even if I did I wouldn't be in them at that time, unless I had never bothered getting dressed yet after getting up late.

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What do you consider tacky? Personalised number plates. Burberry.

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Describe what Christmas means to you in one word Hassle.

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Is it unreasonable to want a Dinosaur for Christmas? One with Santa Claws? it's only unreasonable if you expect anyone else to help you with the pooping and scooping.

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What holiday do you like better Thanksgiving,Hanukkah, or christmas? Christmas is the only one out of those three that I celebrate, so it wins by default.

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It snowed for the first time today! Have YOU had YOUR first snow of the season yet? There was a little snow on my car when I got up in the morning a couple of nights ago, but that's been it so far.

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Which song would you never sing in a karaoke bar? Man, I feel like a woman, by Shania Twain.

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What defines a chav? Usually skinny, wearing shell-suits or similar, Burberry, cheap chunky jewellery, baseball caps, and hunting in packs.

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If you really were what you eat... what would you most likely be? I must eat a lot of arseholes.

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Look out your window, what's the weather like at the moment? Too dark to see, but it was raining when i was out a few hours ago.

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If you looked out your window and saw your sexy neighbor getting dressed or having sex, would you watch? Of course.

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What will happen if you drink one beer? Nothing.

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What was the color of the last bottle/can you drank out of? A clear bottle of Miller.

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Can you describe your personalitiy? Strong silent type.

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What do you do when the host runs out of toilet paper? Whistle for their dog, then either use its nice, soft fur, or take advantage of how much dogs like to lick things.

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Who will you be supporting in the 2010 Football World Cup? France are normally my second team (since Scotland have forgotten how to get into the World Cup I have to rely on them), but after the Henry incident I'm not so sure this year; I'll probably decide nearer the time.

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Can you do 20 push-ups in 30 seconds? Yes.

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How are your Christmas decorations coming along? They're still sitting nicely in the shop.

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No matter what age or gender, would you be ready to serve your country if asked? It would all depend on the circumstances, why I would be fighting.

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If your bedroom had to be either very hot (>80F) or very cold (<60F), which would you pick? I would call that cold rather than very cold, but I prefer that any day to it being too hot. It is below that every night now and it doesn't matter once you're under the duvet.

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Why will a dog lick his own nutz? Because it doesn't have opposable thumbs.

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We always leave a little bit of ourselves behind with those whose lives we touch, for good or not so good. Shouldn't we try to leave more of the "good" and less of the "not so good"? Not everyone deserves to have some good left for them.

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I am married to Wulfweard and he keeps stealing my ideas for questions. What should I do? Divorce him.

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Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. They have to go and switch on the hidden camera-recorder.

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What is your favourite Christmas tipple? The same as at any other time of year: beer, then onto vodka.

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Does it mean anything to you that my feet are size 15? No, it just means you have a good understanding.

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With 6 billion people on the planet, why are there still so many lonely people? Is it cultural, is it to do with their upbringing or is it just something that happens? I think that there are many different reasons. Some people are just misanthropes and happy to be alone, some are incredibly shy and introverted, some had problems growing up which has affected their confidence, and some have become alone at a later age, and now are out of the habit, and have less ways to meet people as their friends have all settled down and are less keen to go out and do...

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If you had to either give up eating chicken or steak, what would it be and why? Steak. I love steak and probably like it more than chicken, but I eat a lot more chicken so would find it harder to give up.

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Can you feel the excitement in the air ? (what do you think is causing it ? ) The Young Butcher Of The Year was shown last week on TV in the UK, so I think everyone is still on a high after watching that over here.

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ABers that observe Christmas - is there a traditional TV program or movie you always try to watch? Any of the Christmas specials of comedy shows that I watch regularly. I don't watch Christmas films as I find them too twee and schmaltzy.

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What's the most irritating accent in your country? I'm not keen on Cockney accents on women. On men they're fine, but I think it sounds rough on women.

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Do you find it a weakness when you see a man crying? Only if they are crying for stupid reasons, or they are the type that cry at the drop of a hat.

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I would just like to know people's opinion on this: How do you feel about company organized employee-only parties? Ones where you can't bring your family, friends or loved ones. My girlfriend went to one recently and it bugs me she finds it ok and I don't Most people I know work for companies where it is employee-only, and I think that this is the best idea; you don't want a bunch of strangers there.

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Funniest Commericial ever, add yours I always liked these ones for John Smith:

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Ive often wondered why doesnt your front or back door open outwards? You've often wondered why my doors don't open outwards? how do you know, are you spying on my home or something? that's a bit creepy. I would have thought it was so that they wouldn't blow off or get damaged in high winds, but after reading a couple of answers here saying the opposite is true in hurricane territory I really don't know.

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That was one wild party last night. So many people, great music and so much booze! I lost track of you after a while. Where did you go and what were you doing? lol I was hoping that you could tell me, as I can't remember.

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Do you take your shoes of and go barefoot as soon as you arrive home? Yes, I'm always barefoot or just wearing socks at home.

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I saw Santa and _________ kissing under the mistletoe ? (oh dear, it was not Mrs. Claus !) Tiger Woods.

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What's one movie you wish you never sat through? Revolver.

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What is the best flavour of chips? Salt and vinegar.

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What would you do if someone said this, "Dude you just got burned. Burn dude. Burn."? If it was a fellow Brit I would tell them to stop saying dude, and then ask them what the hell they are talking about.

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How many of you believe in pre-marital sex? I don't know anyone who waited until they were married (apart from possibly my parents, I'm not asking them), so many people seem to believe in it.

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Have you ever been physically attacked? Yes, lots of times when I was younger; part of being a bloke.

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Do you buy new clothes every time seasons change? No, I just throw a jacket on in autumn and winter.

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Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (2009-12-04) Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

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Do you have a favorite quote from your grandma or grandpa? If so, what is it? Don't trust whitey.

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Why do we never see toilets on Star Trek? What are you talking about? I was always seeing Spock and co trying to get rid of cling-ons.

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The World Cup drawing was today. Are you getting excited for it? And what country do you root for? I generally support France as my second team, when my own one isn't there or is knocked out early. Which is always.

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Do you feel there is more to you than what others see? I used to feel that there was a lot more to me than I actually showed to the world, but over the years I've lost it all and now there is probably less to me than you see....

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Any AB'ers sleep with tiger woods? I did, and the cad sold the story to the media for large sums of cash. I'm sticking to football players from now on.

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Is there a CD album where you've actually liked 'ALL' of the songs? Yes, countless ones, far too many to mention.

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This has GOT to be totally INSANE! Can you believe that this "Laptop computer desk" is being offered for sale on Amazon.com? What could they have been thinking? And with WHAT were they thinking? I know that they will say that it is to be used whilst parked, but there will always be those under pressure at work to finish things on schedule who will risk it as they drive between meetings, or bored people alone in the car on long journeys logging onto AB or similar. It is a bit like selling door-fitted mini-bars on cars, the temptation is too great.

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Would you enjoy going to the Opera? No Opera is one type of music that I can't stand; it is just a noise to me.

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What's that I see hanging from your rearview mirror? The suicidal dwarf hitch-hiker I picked up a few miles ago.

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Question>> WHAT IS A COMPUTER? My thinky box.

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Woman - Do you get offended when people call the tattoo on your lower back a "tramp stamp"? Men - Do you think the tattoo on the lower back is trampy? Yes i do.

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Do you send thank you cards for the Holiday gifts you receive? I always see those who have given me presents at Christmas anyway, so I thank them in person.

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If you had the option of knowing the exact date and time you were going to die, would you want to know? Yes, I would, so I could plan the rest of my life accordingly; if I only had two months left I wouldn't want to waste it working.

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How do you react when you receive a left-handed compliment? I had to look it up as I've never heard of that before, as it is called a back-handed compliment where I live. I would have thought that a left-handed compliment would be the highest praise that you could possibly get, as left-handers are the bestest ever at everything ever.

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Gifts cards or personal gifts for friends? Neither. I've never bought a gift for a friend, that has always been considered as just something women do where I live; we just buy each other a drink or ten on a Christmas night out instead.

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How do you feel about people who talk about themselves in the third person? They're usually humourless people who take themselves far too seriously, and have an inflated opinion of themselves.

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Isn't it time that stereotype comic panels (like the LINKed one below this question) be eliminated? Everyone knows, or should know, that women are much better drivers than men. Don't you agree? Stereotypes are often used in humour, and very few people are exempt. I see adverts on TV in which men are useless, unthinking cavemen, and there is an element of truth in most stereotypes as most of the women I know aren't very good drivers. There is a cartoon strip in a national newspaper in the UK set in a football team, where the manager is Scottish so he is an alcoholic and the...

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What is a piece of advice you have given a person younger than yourself? Make the most of it, before the tedium of middle age sets in.

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How many brothers and sisters do you have? Two older sisters and one younger one. I had a brother but he died.

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What would you want to wake up to, a male Santa giving you a expensive sports car, or a hot sexy female Santa waking you with a wicked knob job and an athletic boink? I'll take the female Santa.

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Santa Claus has a once a year job. But no one could keep that factory going without some outside income. What does Santa do the rest of the year? He's a roadie for ZZ Top.

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Do money-grubbing bastard owners of professional sports teams outside the US ever sell "naming rights" to their stadiums so that even venerable landmarks are renamed to include names of businesses? It is becoming more popular with football stadiums in the UK. The ,most recent example is St. James' Park, home of Newcastle FC: "In a statement released on the 27th October 2009, Newcastle United announced plans to sell the naming rights for the stadium, which may bring an end to the current name of St James' Park [32] After protests about the possible loss of the name of the...

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Any ideas how to stay fit in jail - there are no weights/gym at the county jail? (Will be there for at least 6mths) A british prisoner called Charles Bronson (not his real name) wrote a book called solitary fitness specifically for people in a similar predicament. You can get it from Amazon.

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Does anyone know any good guy/girl-with-no-arms-and-no-legs jokes? Where would you find a woman with no arms and no legs? Where you left her.

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What drinks are a man most likely to drink? Beer, then probably whisky or vodka.

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Although you are an adult, is there something you still won't do in the company of your parents that you know would displease them? I still don't swear in front of them.

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Do you know any Scientologists? No, or at least none who are open about it. I'm not sure if they have really taken off in the UK anyway.

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Do you prefer biscuits with sausage gravy or bacon gravy? Neither, biscuits are cookies in the UK so just a cup of coffee for me.

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Is the ' Rainbow’ sign associated with gays? I changed my avatar using that name and I've been told it will be misconstrued. I'm straight - just for the record. I don't associate it with gay people.

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What state do you think everyone in the world has heard of? Texas. I think everyone has heard of New York as in the city, but I'm not sure if everyone knows it is also a state.

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Funniest song to have sex to would be? This one:

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What's the worst song that could be played at a funeral? Ding dong, the witch is dead.

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Who owns a Burberry Scarf? Chavs.

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In your opinion what is the best Rolling Stones song? Gimmie Shelter, with Sympathy For The Devil a close second.

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When growing up were you poor,rich, or in between? Pretty poor.

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From the doctors you know, do you think most doctors really have their first priority as "helping people"? Nope.

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Were you ever spanked in school? I was belted a few times. I preferred getting the belt to other punishments as they tended to take up my time outwith school, whereas the belt was administered during school hours.

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Talk doesn't change a thing.... or a problem solved is a problem halved? Which are you? I believe that talking doesn't change a thing, but others find talking helps them, so whatever works for you really.

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When I was a little girl, I was spanked by my mother for lighting the newspaper on the kitchen table with my father's lighter. It was the FIRST time in my life I remembered getting a spanking? Do you remember the FIRST time YOU were spanked? By WHOM? I can't remember the first time, but the first time I got hit and sticks in my memory was when my Dad whacked me hard across the face with his shovel hand when I was five, and I was impressed with myself at the time for managing not to show any hurt, as my friends were watching at the time.

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What is a sucubus? A female demon that has sex with you while you sleep; a male one is an incubus, if I remember correctly.

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What's the meanest/worst thing your brother (or sister) ever did to you when you were a kid? Something that seemed horrible at the time but seems funny now... My older sisters weren't really cruel to me, so the only thing would be when they whipped me with my Dad's belt once when they were baby-sitting me, as I'd snuck out of the house in my pyjamas to play and had gotten dirty.

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What advice would you give Tiger Woods right now? Try not to use your wood so much.

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How do you react when someone is rude to you? My response all depends on how rude they are being, their gender, age etc.

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Do you think depictions of alcohol consumption on TV have increased, decreased or stayed about the same in recent years? Stayed the same. In the UK the soaps have always had the local pub as the focal point, and other shows neither show more nor less drinking than in the past.

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If you had to choose what sport who had to play and the choises are soccer,football,or basketball which would you choose? Football, what you call soccer. I've never played American football so I've no idea whether I would like it or not, and while I enjoyed playing basketball I prefer football.

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When you were a kid what did you do at the playground? Played football, or a game called Join The Crew, which was a more violent version of British Bulldog. We sometimes played rugby but we didn't know the rules so it was basically whoever recieved the ball got jumped on by the other team in a large pile until he let go of it.

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What are your favorite reasons and or excuses? It was like that when I got here. I quite liked a friend's one when asked why he hadn't bothered going to school for a while (his record for non-attendance was over a year): "no-one called for me in the morning".

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What are your thoughts on having homework banned from your school? No word of lie, some schools in the USA have done this. I don't really agree with homework, so it seems like a good idea to me.

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Barefoot in bed or sox? Bare everything.

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Do you feel the cold easily or does it not affect you that much? I have more of a problem with the heat than the cold. I went a few years without even bothering to buy a jacket, though I've became softer over the years so I have one now, though it is very rarely zipped up, and I don't bother with gloves or hats.

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What would you put inside a time capsule to be opened 50 years from now? Mariah Carey.

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Now that Susan Boyles' debut album has smashed records with sales of over 701,000. What's do you think is next for her; a Playboy spread? We can but hope.

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Have you gotten into the Christmas spirit yet? Nope.

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Would you change genders every year and live a homosexual lifestyle if you lived that life as a millionaire? Nope.

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Brits. When you have whiting (fish) what kind of fish do you believe it to be? I assume it to be cod, but I don't actually know.

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If you had a pet what would it be? A couple of bulldogs.

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Is heavy "petting" considered cheating, when its not with your S/O? Yes.

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Are all chinese people called wong? Yes, even people like Bruce Lee.

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What's somehing in your wardrobe that's pink? Nowt.

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________________and that's how I knew I had a drinking problem. (complete the sentence) I noticed that I had two hands to hold bottles in but only one mouth.

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A number of my European friends though Black Friday was a stock market crash in the US. Were you unaware of the true meaning of Black Friday? I'd never heard of it until I saw it mentioned on this site over the past couple of weeks.

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What three words would you use to describe a healthy marriage/relationship? Give and take.

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Who was the greek god that put wings on the shoes Nike?

| 1 person likes this

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If Scott Peterson got raped or murder wouldn't it make you laugh and make you feel happy? Im a serious. I don't know who he is, so it would have no emotional effect on me one way or the other.

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What would your first words to an alien be? Who did you think was sexier, Cagney or Lacey?

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What are the chances of your house having snow on Christmas morning? Mine:REAL good chance!!! I'm dreamin' of a White Christmas....................(sing it!!) Pretty high, though not guaranteed.

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Have you ever pooped a balloon? Yes, and I have trained my sphincter muscles to make it into balloon animals as they pop out. Giraffe is my favourite, though my services are no longer welcome as a children's entertainer.

| 3 people like this

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What do you think a Black Country accent is like? Can you write anything in a Black Country accent? Are yow alroight loike?

| 1 person likes this

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I didn't do it, did you? A big boy did it and ran away. This was my alibi at school many a time.....

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Can anyone hurt others without hurting himself? Of course.

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Who do you think is the worst actor / actress you have seen on TV or the movies? Nicholas Cage. Bill Nighy. Dolph Lundgren.

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How many hours do you have to work befor you can have a 10 minute break by British law? I believe that it is anything over four hours requires a break.

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Met a girl from ghana says she loves me? wants me to send money? Send everything you have.

| 1 person likes this

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What is the name of the time after a funeral when mourners gather at the home of the deceased? The wake.

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I`m planning a bank robbery, which mask should I wear? Betty Turpin.

| 1 person likes this

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What are some funny words or phrases that nobody uses anymore? Gadzooks. Tally-ho. By Criminey.

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Is there more than one type of humor? Dry humour, sarcastic humour, toilet humour, satire, slapstick, to name a few. There is even a type of humour which contains no comedy at all, which was invented by Charlie Chaplin and is practised to this day by people like Russell Brand.

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Have you ever wished that you just would not wake up oneday? Yes.

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What comes after the number Googolplex? Googolplexty-one.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you approve of teen sex? It would be preferable if they waited until they were older than thirteen or fourteen, but otherwise assuming they take precautions then it's pretty natural, and ninety percent of teens are going to have sex anyway, with or without my approval. There are worse things they could be doing.

| 1 person likes this

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Why is it that many punk singers who don't speak with an accent will sing with an accent? I've never seen anyone who doesn't speak with an accent, but Rancid have always amused me with their British accents.

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One thing that would make me swing a fist is ___? If I meet my enemy.

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Why do all men Love kim K? I like her because I like curvy, sexy, women with long black hair.

| 1 person likes this

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Which cartoon characters should have been strangled at birth? Scrappy Doo. Godzookie.

| 2 people like this

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What is your opnion of Brad Pitt? do you think he is gay or straight? He seems a decent bloke, and is a great actor. I've never seen any reason to believe that he is anything other than straight.

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Have you swam in a Creek, River, Pond, Lake, Pool, Baby Pool, or Waterhole? I've swam in rivers, seas, pools, ponds, and lochs (lakes).

| 1 person likes this

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Please click the link!!!! it will help me a lot! thanks x Is this the famous "missing link" I'm always hearing about?

| 2 people like this

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Whats the worst thing you can say to someone who just got had a baby? :P Stiuck it back in there for a while longer, it doesn't look finished yet.

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Name some good American dishes? Mom's apple pie.

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What, approximately, is the largest crowd you've ever been in? I think it was around 110,000, at a music festival.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you wear your T-shirts and non button up shirts tucked in or not? Are you male or female? Where do you live? I never tuck in casual clothing.

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What do you suspect about Pandas? Despite their cuddly image I believe that there is a lot of domestic violence going on behind their closed doors; I see a lot of black eyes.

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Why are the British so annoying? We practise.

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When you were a kid what was the most serious injury you had? Either when I fell off the roof of the house and landed right on my coccyx, which was painful for weeks afterwards, or when I fell naked arse-first onto a wood-burning stove that we used to have in the kitchen, meaning I had to sleep on my front for a while. I seemed to have a strangely unlucky arse as a child.

| 1 person likes this

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What did the cow say to the alien? So what's your star sign?

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At what age did you truly feel like you'd grown up and became an adult? Early thirties.

| 1 person likes this

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Just what is a REAL surprise Christmas Present? Chlamydia.

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For men: Tits or ass? For women: penis or ass? Arse.

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What do I do with a dead yak? Form a new religion based around worshipping its corpse. If you are having problems getting anyone to join then promote the fact that signing up will not only improve their spiritual health, but also their physical well-being too, as apparently a yak-cult is good for digestion.

| 2 people like this

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Do tightwads ever get on your nerves? If so, how? If it is their round they can be annoying.

| 1 person likes this

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Is it ever appropriate for a woman to pinch a man's buttocks in public? Yes, as long as they let you know who did it if you are in a crowd.

| 1 person likes this

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There is a level of sentimental affection for the Krays - even amongst some of the most law abiding. Why could this be? Part of it may be due to the myth that they only hurt other criminals, so people think that they belong to a fairer class of criminal that no longer exists.

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When was the last time you stood on dog pooh? Well over a decade ago. I remember as children at Hallowe'en one of my mates spent a while looking for some to stand in before we went to the house of one of our teachers, so that he could leave a nice trail along her hall carpet when we went in.

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Do you believe that you have an angel beside you now? Nope.

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Finish this story,One day there was a cat,the cat ___________ One day there was a cat, the cat shat on the mat, that was the end of the cat.

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Why do we say; I slept like a baby, when babies wake up 10 times every hour? When I say that I slept like a baby I usually mean that I shit myself during the night, and woke up crying.

| 1 person likes this

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What do you get when you put a person in a tepee in a wigwam? Someone who is two in-tents.

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Why do some people believe that God kills a kitten everytime you masturbate? The thought turns them on.

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Are there any recipes for Panda? You used to be able to buy Panda Cola, (maybe you still can), which I believe was made from carbonated, pulped panda cubs.

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Complete this sentence with something OTHER than the already-known ending: "SOYLENT GREEN is________!" My choice is, "...on sale for only $1.98/pound!" Hughie Green's less successful sister.

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Can I be shown images of urine stain on a man's underwear? Try Shane MacGowan's washing line.

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Whats going to happen in 2012 It's my sister's birthday, so some presents will be opened, and possibly a meal and some drinks will be had.

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What does the Queen of England smell like? Greek sausage.

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You're in a room with 1000 other people. Would you stand out from the crowd? If so why? I don't think so, but a few months ago in a nightclub in London a bloke walked up to me and said that he had to come and talk to me, as he'd looked around the crowd and that I'd stood out; he said he'd thought to himself that guy looks "mad". I wasn't really sure how to take that.....

| 3 people like this

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If I don't believe in Atheists does that mean Atheists don't exist? No.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you hate to smile, when you have your photograph taken? Yes, I prefer natural off-the-cuff photos, rather than ones where you have to stand and smile gormlessly for what seems like forever until the shutter goes.

| 1 person likes this

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Men: Do you like having a woman be desperate to be with you or do you prefer she play hard to get? The former; I can't be bothered with games.

| 1 person likes this

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If I had a kissing booth, would you pay a dollar to kiss me? Yes I would.

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What is a ponce? Need some help, Brits. A slightly effeminate man, a bit of a dandy, like Russell Brand.

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It's getting cold! Are you using an electric blanket, electric mattress pad, or just blankets? Just a duvet.

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What preventions are you taking to avoid getting wrinkles? None.

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When was the last time you hugged your mother of father? .. Are you confident that they feel you mean it?, or they're just hearing it from you by saying "iloveyou?". . I must have been a young child, probably pre-school.

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Why do people stay ignorant about a pop legend, when he clearly stated he had lupus and vitiligo disorders and when he was proven not guilty? And when he died, everyone started forgiving him and loving him. Guess who? "Everyone" didn't start forgiving him and loving him.

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True or False, You prefer brunettes instead of blondes? True.

| 1 person likes this

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In your opinion which is the loveliest musical instrument? The saw, or theremin.

| 1 person likes this

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My spouse cannot understand the custom of eating after a funeral. Do you think the dead person would not want the living people to enjoy themselves and associate over food? A funeral tends to last into the afternoon, and many people like to have drinks afterwards, so it makes sense to lay on a spread to line their stomachs.

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Do you personally know any native Americans (Indians) ? ... If so, where are they from? and what is your opinion of their friendship towards you? ( I am Australian and I mean no offense by the question) No, but I live in the UK where they are a tiny minority; I've never even met one in real life, never mind become acquainted with one.

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Who wrote 'Runaway Train'? know Soul Asylum sang it, but someone said Smokie did it in the 70's. Would like to know who actually wrote it Soul Asylum wrote it.

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When you were a kid and a parent said to you, "I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN!" did you respond with something akin to, "Thank you!" or, "Ya promise?" (I did, but only ONCE!) Probably, shortly before achieving the speed of sound with the helpful aid of my father's boot.

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Can you name a reason NOT to go the gym? It's often too busy, and you can't get on to many of the machines.

| 1 person likes this

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Holy cow...I just __________________ Machine-gunned some livestock.

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What is the most dangerous animal in Australia? Chopper?

| 3 people like this

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Do you like sourdough bread? I've never heard of it before, so I don't know.

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Who was the last person to sit upon your lap? My nephew.

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Is drinking alcohol for the purpose of inebriation abuse or proper use? Proper use if you ask me.

| 1 person likes this

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Girlies: David Boreanaz or Robert Pattinson?? Guys: Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox? Megan Fox out of those two.

| 1 person likes this

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Where's an intetresting place you wrote your name? A bridge on the way to school spanned a river, and a disused railway bridge ran parallel to it, so me and another mate climbed along and painted our names along the girders underneath, so that they would be seen by all the traffic going past.

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Starwars Vs Lord Of The Rings.... Who Wins? Star Wars.

| 1 person likes this

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What's more disturbing, suicide or abortion? Or, do neither bother you? Neither really bother me.

| 2 people like this

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How do you know if a fish is asleep? It's lying on the sea bed.

| 1 person likes this

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What is a career that requires you to do a lot of walking? A ghillie, or gamekeeper. My brother-in-law used to be one and said that most of his job involved walking. And drinking.

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If YOU came with Instructions what would they say? Warning: may contain nuts.

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Hi I`m an alien from the planet Fidklebumble. I`m currently dating one of your Earth Tractors, is this relationship doomed? Yes, tractors are notorious for cheating, and losing interest in relationships very quickly, so expect to receive a John Deere letter very soon.

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Have you ever been knocked unconscious? What do you remember about the experience? I've never been knocked unconscious, but I did go deaf for a little while once after getting a few kicks to the head. it was on the first day of Secondary school and a couple of friends and I had to drop our bags off at our next class during a break. There were around ten or twelve older boys waiting lined up along the corridor looking at us and my friends didn't want to go, so I took...

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Are you known to be famous for anything? Anything at all? Humor welcome! I'm famous for having bad luck. I'm one of those who could fall head-first into a barrel of tits and come up sucking my thumb.

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Do monkeys have tits? Yes, they love their little pets they do. Apes tend to prefer chaffinches, as their cages require less cleaning.

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Does anyone recall when the last white Christmas was? I suppose it depends where about in the world you mean. I've had a white Christmas in the past five years.

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How can you get rid of heartburn? Milk is good.

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What would you do to get on X factor? Crash my car so that I receive severe brain injuries. It seems to have worked for Stacey.

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I have been offered a job as a `Fudge Packer` by my new friend Quentin, should I take it? I know very little about the job, only that Quentin says it involves a lot of pillow biting. He obviously is confident in your ability to handle tools, which is an important requirement of this job, so I say go for it; it's better than being a bum.

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Which music stars would you happily put through an industrial sized blender? Twat in a hat from Jamiroquai. Robbie Williams. Katy Perry. Mariah Carey.

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How do you answer the phone...Do you say hello...Johnson residence....etc....? Just "hello?"

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Why dont you go piss yourself? I'm way ahead of you.

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Am I alone in thinking Lady Gaga is really pretty? Yeah, pretty much.

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Did you embrace the accent you were brought up with or have you tried to change it? I've never tried to change it and never would; I think that your accent is an important part of who you are. If I moved somewhere different for years and lost it naturally fair enough, but I wouldn't consciously make an effort to lose it.

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Will the world end in 2012 just because the maiyan calander ends? Yes, definitely.

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Does Christmas bring out the best / worst in you? I hate Christmas right up until the day itself, which I enjoy. I hate shopping, most Christmas songs, shopping while being force-fed Christmas songs, and knowing what to get people.

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"What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?" I'm a thirteen year old boy, what do you think I'm doing all the time in here?

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Who would be the most useless James Bond? Alan Carr.

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Ever been to the West Midlands? If so, where and when? I've been to Birmingham and Donnington, years ago.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you share your exact date of birth, with anyone famous? Albert Einstein. Michael Caine. Jasper Carrot. Pam Ayres. Nicolas Anelka. Jami Bell.

| 1 person likes this

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Be honest, what's better: Fall or spring? Autumn for me as I prefer the weather then, plus in Spring I know that Summer is following and I don't like the heat.

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Were you any good at PE/Gym/Sport at school? Yes I was, I was good at everything apart from, unfortunately, football.

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Would you dive into Loch Ness and swim about for a minute for a hundred quid? Yes no problem, I don't believe in the monster.

| 2 people like this

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Want to find out what people on here think about you? Type just your name in an answer so that people can comment with adjectives. I'm not responsible for what people say about you. Sid.

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My finger was hit with a hammer.It hurts so bad that I can't touch anything with it.There is a huge blood blister on it and it looks like the blood blister is swollen(if you know what I mean).I can feel the pulse in it.What should I do? I usually just leave a blood blister, and they eventually heal by themselves, but it might not do any harm to have someone look at it if it is that painful.

| 1 person likes this

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Is your doctor male or female, do you prefer to see a same- gender doctor even though they are professional? I don't really have a doctor, the medical centre I'm with just gives you whoever is avaliable. I prefer to get someone of the opposite gender because I'd rather have a woman touching my body than a man if I have a choice. I know that they are just doing their job but I feel uncomfortable with a man touching my naked skin, unless it's just my shoulders or arms or something.

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How many people would you tell if you won the lottery? If you are talking about winning millions then I would tell everyone I know. I couldn't exactly hide it anyway after I moved into my mansion, with its private jet etc. "Oh, yeah, I got a pay rise at work".

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What country, outside your continent, would you like to visit? I've always wanted to go to Tokyo, and probably will next year, so Japan.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you know sombody who's semi lidderit? When I was growing up the woman next door couldn't read or write at all.

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What Sitcom doesn't make you laugh? Quite a few, but off the top of my head The Big Bang Theory.

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What song should not be played at a wedding reception? REM's This One Goes Out To The One I Love is a popular one at weddings, obviously with people who have never really listened to the lyrics. "A simple prop, to occupy my time, this one goes out to the one I love".

| 1 person likes this

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Have you ever lied about your age?why? Yes, to buy booze when underage.

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American Football or Football/Soccer, what's better? Football, the type without American in front of it. I don't like using the "s" word....

| 1 person likes this

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Why do you think there is so much deep-seated anger in so many people? Frustration, many people are not able to live the life that they want to live, for various reasons.

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I have a co-worker who wears his pants past his belly button. What action should I take? Can he be given Due Process? Cheryl Cole, is that really you? Maybe he's just getting old.

| 1 person likes this

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Did you know that I found a donkey in Texas and he was wearing a saddle? Yes, I remember all the headlines in the national press when it happened: Woman called Marguerite finds donkey with saddle on over in Texas.

| 1 person likes this

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What did you think of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? Not much. I've watched them all, but found them very over-rated.

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Are we post-racial? No, race is still a big deal, you only have to look at this site for proof of that.

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Do you say hello to everyone you meet on the street in the supermarket ect? No way, I'd look like a simpleton.

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Will the internet be open on Thanksgiving ? :P As the internet only exists in the USA, probably not.

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MEN-do you like a woman that plays hard to get...just a bit. OR one who comes out and tells you how she feels? I can't be bothered with games, if someone plays hard to get I assume they are not interested and move on.

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Are their any stupid questions or stupid people that ask them? stupid questions exist, and they are often asked by stupid people.

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Is "stank" a word? Yes, see Barb's answer.

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What do you like better soccer or football I don't watch American football, so that leaves the other football, what you call soccer.

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To put it basically.. I went to a art display in a house with my artist friend and I made a comment about the art and this middle age lady look at me with a hand pulling down the skin on one of her eyes so it was big at me.. What was she telling me? At a guess she might not agree with your comment and was telling you to open your eyes and view the art properly.

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When it's raining just a little tiny bit, do you insist on an umbrella before going any further? I've never used an umbrella.

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What is something you might rub? One out.

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What does "Check me one time whitey im a yardie" mean? Yardies are Jamaican gangsters.

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Who loves peter kay? I did maybe five years ago, but as he hasn't done anything new in that time apart from that X Factor spoof which was rubbish, I don't know whether he is still any good or not.

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Were you ever with the choir (school/church/etc)? Why or why not? No, I would always deliberately sing badly so that I wouldn't be picked; it wasn't considered a cool thing to do.

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Do you find it crass/inappropriate for a 14 yo. girl to say "shit" or "piss"? Or, is it not a big deal? It's not a big deal, there are far worse things she could be saying.

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What do you think of hippies? love them, hate them, there alright...? What's orange and looks good on a hippy? Fire. I'm not really a fan.

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What is the next movie you are oing to see at the cinema? I might watch The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas DVD which I've had sitting in my room for a while, after answering a question about it earlier.

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Should you wear a white wedding dress if you are NOT a virgin? Yes, it's tradition, in the same way that many athiests get married in church. I don't know any brides who wore white who WERE virgins.

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Are/were you grandparents much more easy going/placid than your parents? I never knew one Grandad as he came home from the war with his nerves shot and disappeared one day, and was never seen again. His wife was the classic sweet old smiley Granny, and we always loved going there. The other Granny was a horrible woman, and of the "children should be seen and not heard" school of thought. Her husband was probably a decent man, but because of his wife's...

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What do you think about Theirry Henry's handball for France against Ireland? I used to like him, but this has tainted that. I hate cheating, including diving, hand ball etc. and think that some kind of action should be taken.

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If you could choose one from the animal kingdom to characterize you, which would it be and why? I always thought a tiger, as they are powerful and don't need anyone else to fight their battles, but over the past few years it seems to have evolved into some kind of sloth.

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Is this racist? (see URL) It (probably) wasn't intended to be racist, but it seems strange that no-one in the company during the whole design and manufacture of the doll would have spotted that there may be a possible problem in how the doll might be perceived, and point it out.

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Have you ever got a feeling that you are nothing? Yes, all the time nowadays.

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What did you feel while watching "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas"? I have the DVD sitting in my room but I haven't actually gotten round to watching it yet, as it sounds like the type of film that you have to be in the right mood to watch. I've heard that it's very good though, but very sad.

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Could you beat Hulk Hogan in an arm wrestle? Maybe. He's quite a bit older than me and no longer in his prime. Though I haven't done it for many years I was never beaten, though there were a few draws, as I had to always use my weaker right arm so sometimes I didn't have the strength to beat my opponent, but had enough to not allow them to beat me at the same time.

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If you could sell off some of your lifetime at $ 1000.00 per hour; how much time would you be willing to sell? Twenty years would do fine.

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Could your life be a novel? By that I mean, if a story of your life was written, would it be a good book? It would be quite interesting and (hopefully) amusing to begin with, but then peter out for the last half of the book into boring crap.

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Hi honey, how was your day? Thanks for asking sugar tits. It was a bit "meh" really, nothing really good happened but nothing really bad happened either.

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How funky is your nose?=D Not as funky as it used to be. When I was younger my nose played bass in Stevie Wonder's touring band, but that had to stop as without it I was always in danger of drowning every time I went out in the rain, so now it is just a boring ol' nose sitting on my face.

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Why are americans still afraid of the uk Eh?

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What's one music group you'd never listen to? Any RnB one.

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What movie is this picture from? Sorry, I'm seeing nothing but white, so Fargo perhaps?

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Did you have a favorite hang out as a child/teen? Where was it? As a teen it was outside the local chippy, playing football and getting up to shenanigans.

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Is Thierry Henry a cheat? Yes, he's even admitted it now. A bit disappointing as I like him normally.

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Can a 18 yr old have intercourse with a 16yr old You would have to tell us where you live before we could answer that. Legally they can in my country, but in some others they can't.

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If the Wolfman,the Vampire,and the Zombie formed a rock trio what would be a good name for the group? Buttercup sunrise.

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How much people do you know called Harry? None.

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What happens to the accents of singers when the sing? Some people do retain their accents, but most don't. If I sing my accent disappears but it isn't a conscious decision, so I don't know why this is.

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There is this 14 year old girl and she has 8 boyfriends at the same time. Is she a slut? Yes.

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Can girls or woman drink beer? Yes, though I personally don't like to see them drinking pints.

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Is it child abuse for your parents to hit you with the metal part of a belt and make a bruise? I often wondered that myself, whether that was classed as abuse or just discipline; I think it is.

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Hey guys!!!! I was gone for a while...What's everyone been up to? Miss me, or what!? Who are you again?

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My little brother is 18, and getting hit on by other girls. Like one said he had a "sweet ass". As his older sister, I feel like I should do something about this. Like be protective or something. What do you think? I think you should keep out of it. He's eighteen, not eight, do you want him to be alone forever?

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What are your favourite song lyrics and why? Maybe not my favourite, but I've always liked: "I'd rather be a free man in my grave, than living as a puppet or a slave" from The Harder They Come The Harder They Fall, by Jimmy Cliff.

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Is it rude to tell your co-worker that s/he looks tired today? It depends how well you know them I suppose, if you are pretty friendly with them then not really.

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Do you currently have cough drops at your house? No, I never do.

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Would you be concerned, if we actually made contact with an alien life form? No, intrigued and excited instead.

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Apart from who you live with, how far away from your home is your nearest relative? My sister and family live about a mile away.

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If someone jumps the queue your in. Do you speak up or leave it to someone else? Speak up, and/or barge past them again into my rightful place.

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Who do you think is the best actor/atress in hollywood?why? Although he's been phoning it in for a good while now, Robert De Niro is still the best actor in my eyes.

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Do you think an alcoholic could be a good parent? Yes, I know alcoholics who are good parents, though their son does admit that he spent quite alot of time sitting outside the pub in the car eating crisps.

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My sons school has a rather odd uniform, should I complain? I'm free to babysit that handsome young fellow any time you need a night out.

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What is a bloke? A man, but often used to refer to a specific type of man: a pub-going, football-loving, cheeky kind of down-to-earth man.

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What song(s) do you most associate with your teenage years? She sells sanctuary by The Cult always takes me right back.

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There's a grand opening for a new italian restaurant opening in scotland in february 2010, but i cannot find the name of the restaurant or the town that it's in! Good luck with that then....

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Swearing is____________? Big and clever.

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My lovely young virgin Russian mail order bride, was not really what I was expecting.Take a look at her picture, should I ask for my money back? Boy George is Russian? who knew.

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Which celebrity would you maim or kill? Russell Bland. Twat in the hat from Jamiroquai. I have Swordfish on in the background and Vinnie Jones could do with a maiming. Dennis Wise. I'm a gentleman so would hire someone else to do this one, but Mariah Carey could do with a hurting. Thora Hird, just for a laugh. I could go on.

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If Salma Hayek went potty in your bowl of cornflakes what would you do? Explain to her slowly that's not how cocoa pops are actually made. It would put me off her (a bit) though.

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FIRST WORD that comes to mind? I will analyse and respond Monkey.

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Are babies always cute? Nope. As my Aunt said to my mother when she looked at my older sister as a baby: "never mind, sometimes ugly babies grow up to be beautiful".

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What will happen in 2012? I will think about possibly starting my Christmas shopping.

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Where do babies come from!1/ my mom wont tell me and I am six years old so i should kno by noqw Daddy feeds Mummy a special sausage on a celebratory meal, perhaps a birthday, and this special sausage gives Mummy really bad trapped wind which lasts for nine months, and is finally relieved when a bestest friend of theirs called "a Doctor", pushes down onto Mummy's tummy and a special botty-burp with skin called a baby parps out.

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Would You Rather: a Male or Female Masseuse? I'd rather have a female touching my body than a man, even if they are just doing their job.

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Do you think that people caught for DUI should have to go to jail? I am on my second DUI and am told I will probably get 90 days in county jail? Wouldn't something like community service be better. I never hurt anybody or caused an accident I could shoot a machine gun wildly in the direction of a group of people and hit none of them, but it would be more luck than anything else, and the intent would remain. You may not have caused an accident or hurt anyone, but you drove a potentially fatal weapon whilst not in full control, and knowing that it was wrong and could potentially create a widow, or orphan out of someone. As it was...

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What do you think is more serious: sex at a young age or getting drunk at a young age? Sex can result in pregnancy, so I think that has a bigger possible effect on the rest of your life.

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What impression do white folks with dreadlocks give you? Trustafarian.

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If you have no natural musical talent, but you want to learn play an instrument, which instrument would be a good one to start learning on? Bass guitar.

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Do the ayes have it? Aye.

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What does Confucius say? (Good quotes?) Man who puts knob in biscuit tin must be f***ing crackers.

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How far away from your home (in distance or time) is your local public library? About two miles, give or take.

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How old were you in 1999? 28. Happy days....

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Do you like your mayo? I hate it.

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Should the President of the United States bow to the kings of other countries? If that is the culture of the place he is visiting, then yes, if like in Japan it is their version of a handshake.

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Is there a shelter for battered fish? Yes, it's a nice safe plaice for them, built in Cod's name.

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Who do you think is the biggest celebrity "Diva" (demanding, bratty, arrogant etc)? Mariah Carey.

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How many good deeds have you done last week? None.

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What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Is that it?

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Can you tell me the kind/type of animal pictured in the link below this question? (HINT: There are TWO possible answers to this question.) Is it a qui...qua....qu something or other? I can't remember, it's on the tip of my tongue, though I'm probably wrong anyway and thinking of something else.

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What is something that is done better in the dark? Pensioner naturism. Please.

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Could you ask someone out using only 3 words? Fancy it love?

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What is one word that you absolutely cannot STAND to either say or hear someone else say? A lot of English people say dude nowadays, and that sounds wrong to me, also apparently a lot call football soccer nowadays too.

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Are you afraid of the real 2012 being the end of the world? Nope.

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Your dad's so old he says he remembers when _________? Colour was invented. He spent his early years in the times when the whole world was black and white, you've probably seen it on old films.

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If you have ever taste tested both Marmite and Vegemite, which is your preference? I'm still not convinced that marmite is actually food. It smells like something a nurse would clean off an old lady's fungal infection in a nursing home, and that smell is enough to ensure that it isn't going near my mouth. As vegemite sounds vaguely similar I have no intention of trying it either.

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Have you ever worn lingerie while on AB?=D Yes. Not my own though; I'm not a pervert.

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Can the past tense of spell can be written as spelled or spelt? Either way is fine. I use spelt.

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If you were commanded by your government to flip the switch at someone else's legal execution, would you do it? No, if they want to do it they can do it themselves. It will be my decision whether I kill someone or not, and there would have to be a personal involvement with the victim, not just some random person.

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When was the last time you traveled on a Bus ,Train or Tram. I don't think I've been on a bus in the last five years, I've never been on a tram, and I was on a train in August.

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Would you rather live in the heat of Australia or the cold of Canada or Alaska? I'll take the latter, as I can't stand the heat.

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What does Bah Hambug mean? You have this under the wrong category, as it is British, but humbug just means nonsense, rubbish.

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What's getting worse? Me.

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She left her children for over 24 hours to fend for themselves (please read link) What punishment would you give? There is no link, but I saw a little bit about it on the TV. I don't know the details so I may be wrong, but I get the feeling that there may be double standards due to class here. I think she is a working class mother, and seems to be getting a far harder time than nice middle-class doctors the McCanns got for going out for similar reasons, and leaving their children to fend for...

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Before you go to bed at night do you have something to eat or drink,if so what is it. I might have a coffee, but that's about it.

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Have you ever met a fat vegan? I don't think I've ever met a vegan.

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Rest in Peace Edward Woodward, who passed away today (16 Nov) :'-( Do you remember him? The first thing I ever saw him in was The Equaliser TV show, and the last thing I saw him in was Hot Fuzz; I didn't realise that he'd died.

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Should x factor contestants John and Edward be sent to Afganistan to entertain the Taliban troops..how would it be recieved? With gunfire, I would imagine.

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What would be a bad combination of toppings on a pizza? Pineapple and anything else.

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What's happenin? Stuff.

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Where is the most unusual place you have ever fell asleep? Not that unusual, but pub toilets.

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What DON'T the French have a word for? Deja vu, they just use our one.

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Those in the UK: Do you ever buy The Big Issue? I used to buy it every week, but I haven't bought it in a good while.

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Do you feel the need to get revenge when someone wrongs you? Yes.

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How much pain do you have to be in before you take whatever the dr. prescribes for relief, regardless of side effects? I would only go to the doctor in the first place if I was in absolute agony, so I would take whatever he or she prescribed straight away.

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How would you describe your temper? I get angry easily, but I have good self-control and manage to keep a lid on it. When it does go it really goes though.

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Do u think daniel craig is the worst actor of 'james bond' movie series? Daniel Craig is a far better actor than Roger Moore could ever hope to be.

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Have you ever asked someone how much money they make? Did they tell you what they made or did they tell you "where to go?" No, I would never be so rude.

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She's uglier than a _________________. A warthog with piles doing a stiff shite.

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Do your initals spell anything? Sid.

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How and when will I die? You will be visiting the Vatican City August 13th, 2017. Whilst walking through the square the Pope will barge into you accidently on his skateboard while trying to perfect his ollie, knocking you down. As you stretch out your arms to break your fall, your hand brushes the penis of Serena Williams, also coincidentally on holiday there. Serena will then pound you into the ground in a...

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Should straight people go `Gay` for one day a year? No, I can't be arsed (no pun intended) to go to musicals.

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In the Middle ages, how did women deal with `feminine hygiene` issues? True story: most people had their yearly bath in May, and June was the most popular month for weddings, partly because they would still be relatively fresh. Of course after a month they would be beginning to whiff a bit, so the bride would carry a bouquet of flowers to mask the smell, and that's where the tradition comes from.

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If a butterfly flaps it`s wings in Japan and the weather changes in New York. What happens when Godzilla farts? Godzookie dies a horrible, methane-related death. Hopefully.

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Which sports team is the most frustrating for its followers? Watching the Scottish national football team isn't a pleasant experience. They will beat France or someone one game, and then get beat by the Chelsea Pensioner's pub team the next. For once at the moment though they are quite consistent. Consistently shite.

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Hi, my name is Candy. I`m sooo hot! Check out my picture, you should only be able to date me in your dreams. But how would you try and win my love? I own my own ice cream van. As an added bonus I make my own flavours of ice-cream, with the best seller being my vanilla, pie and chips combo.

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Nature has been creating snowflakes and creatures for billions of years; how does she know how to avoid making a single duplicate? When it is said that no two are the same what is actually meant is that no two have been found that are the same, no one checks every single snowflake to see if this is true.

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Have you ever been `Dogging`? No. I was out a while ago with some mates on a night out and they started talking about going, and getting really into the idea. They asked me if I was into going and my reply was something along the lines of f**k off you seedy c**ts. I can think of few things grimmer to do of an evening than stand in a dark wood watching some fat bloke shag his missus, who usually looks like Al Murray with a...

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Are you younger or older than you look? Older, so I've been told.

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I seem to end all or most of my comments with lol, what alternative would sound better? Foad? We used to use it years ago and it stands for F**k off and die. Probably best if you don't use that one really.

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I decided to give up on you, anything you have to say before I do? Bye.

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What's your favourite Michael Caine movie? Either Zulu or Get Carter, but Get Carter probably edges it.

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The greatest movie cowboy Eastwood or Wayne? Eastwood, he was cool as. I was never a Wayne fan.

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Do you agree to this-If we get what we want, its good. If we dont get it, its even better!? Ummm....no.

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Does anyone know where the ABer "MRS. CLEVER" went? Haven't heard from "her" in a while and wondered if "she's" still around! Couldn't find "her" in member search; either! Any thoughts or answers? She's believed to have formed the new version of the A-Team, and is currently getting up to crazy antics in her nice new van, helping those with no one else to turn to with her motley crew of mercenaries.

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This girl keeps pestering me for my telephone number, should I give her it? I would play hard to get if I was you. Don't give out your whole number at once, make her work for it, and if she is really interested she will do some investigation with just a few clues to go on and figure out the rest herself, prove that she really is interested in you and not just after a one night stand. So to test just how into you she really is, do NOT give out all the digits of...

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Momma always said ____________________? Don't trust whitey.

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What takes you to the maximum height of your emotions? Extreme joy or extreme anger? Extreme anger.

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What is your favorite dip for your fries (chips for you Brits)? Ketchup.

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Every story has and end, in real life every end is a new beginning. What are your thoughts on this? Death seems pretty final.

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Do you think Lady Gaga is attractive? Not really.

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No penetration = No cheating. Do you agree? Nope.

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Who is the hottest celebrity aged over 40? Monica Bellucci. Salma Hayek.

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A school in the UK have decided to us Wii fit as a replacement for Physical Education, whats your opinion of this? I could see the point if it was perhaps an easing in exercise for those children who are already obese and unfit, maybe have a few weeks of this and then get them into real sports, but otherwise no; our children are in bad enough shape nowadays as it is, they need MORE proper exercise, not less.

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What is the story about Margaret Thatcher, she always was a sexy minx...What happened? You sobered up?

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What were you brought up to believe happens to a person when they die: if good they go right to heaven and if bad they go to hell, they go to a place (e.g. limbo, purgatory) to await Judgment Day, that they are dead and aware of nothing, or something els I was brought up to believe that when something dies, that is it; the end, Nothingness.

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What is the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding ring?? They say you can tell by looking but I can't!!! They're all just rings. They look exactly the same. It must be different in the US (if that is where you are from), as in the UK an engagement ring has a stone or stones in it, whereas a wedding ring is a plain band of usually gold or platinum.

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Did you know of a person who reached the conclusion on their own that they were too old to drive (before others came to take their keys away)? No, all the people I've known were too stubborn, and chose either to carry on bumping into things and having near misses, or were told to by their doctor, (not all of them listen though). I'm talking about those who should quit though of course, there are older drivers who are perfectly safe to do so.

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At what age did you receive your driver's license? 17, the earliest you can in the UK.

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If someone got in your face and yelled "hit me bitch," would you have enough control NOT to hit them? It would depend on who it was. If it was a friend then I would be able to restrain myself, but if certain other people want me to hit them then who am I to refuse their request?

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When you get on a bus how far or close to the door do you sit? why? I just grab the first seat I see.

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When you get the opportunity to hear it... what does silence say to you? Put some music on.

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A heterosexual couple in the uk were refused a civil partnership, was this right? I don't really see why they thought they needed one; it sounds like a couple wanting to get their names in the paper to me. They could have just got married, and if they are not into the idea of getting married in a church for religious reasons then simply get married at a registry, or if none of those suit them then just live together like many other people do happily.

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Why do i love irish punk rock so much? i love it. I've no idea, the only bands that I know are The Undertones and Stiff Little Fingers so I'm not really an expert, but sometimes there is no real reason why you like something; you just do.

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Muslims. What's the first thing you think about when you hear this word? Don't get me wrong, I'm very openminded and respectfull towards them, but does the word has a negative connotation? The first thing I think about when I hear this word is arguments, as that is what the word itself seems to bring up all too often.

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What would you do if someone just came up and kissed you and you did not know them and they just walked off im for real not joking around It's happened before and I just enjoyed it for what it was.

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Once upon a time, there were a King and Queen who lived in a palace. One day, the King discovered________? Finish this thought. Internet porn, and the Queen lived unhappily ever after. Or happily, depending on your point of view.

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Isnt this a bizarre that one can go out into the market and exchange money for dead bodies of other creatures? No, it's called food.

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What's your favorite word? Bereft. Bap. Discharge.

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How does a heavy thunderstorm make you feel? Great, I love them.

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If a girl or woman hums a song to herself, is this a sign she is happy? Not always, a caged bird sings.

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I think that the TV show Frasier is the best Spin-Off ever made, do you agree? Probably, yes, though there is a show in my country called Still Game, which was a spin-off from a show called Chewing The Fat which I personally think is up there too, particularly as I thought that the original show was pretty crap.

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Do you have a Address Book? Is it organized and neatly printed in? OR do you scribble out the old phone number or address and write it next to it? I don't have an address book, and don't know the addresses of quite a lot of people I know. I've sometimes phoned a taxi to go to a friend's house for drinks, and been caught out a couple of times when the driver asks "where to?" "Ummm, dunno, I'll point the way....".

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If you could pick what age you could be how old would you be? and why did you pick that age? 28 or 29, as that was when I was in my prime, and before the crapness of entering my thirties came along....

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If a legal immigrant, from Mexico, moved in next door to you and displayed a Mexican flag in his front yard instead of an American flag, would this upset you? Applying a similar scenario to my own country, I wouldn't be upset.

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When Mr. Bean gets his head stuck up that turkeys tail, was that the height of British comedy? Not even close.

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Do you stand up for the little guy, or look after yourself & yours? I've always been the type to stick up for those who can't always stand up for themselves, sometimes to my cost, but f**k it.

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Should Peggy & Archie keep getting-it-on? Or for everyone's sake (yours & mine included) should they call it a day? I'm hoping that they do an Eastender's version of Hollyoaks Later (or whatever it's called), where they show a late night no-holds-barred more adult episode so we can see them gettin' it on.....In reality though I can't wait 'til they get rid of Peggy, and hopefully she takes him with her.

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Do you believe in yourself and Have you got a positive attitude about life? Nah.

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Have you ever chopped firewood? Yes, many times in the past. I always enjoyed doing it, it was good exercise and when I was a child cutting up stuff with a large axe was cool....I haven't done it for years though.

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How do you say "Hi" in your part of the world? ( We say "Gidday") Hi, hello, how's it goin', aye aye, fit like, how are you, a'right. I say a'right.

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What do you think of the statement "Any press is good press"? Ask Gordon Brown if he agrees.....

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Have you ever seen someone who was so beautiful or handsome, you couldn't help but stare? All the time.

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What has bubbles? I think Latoya got him in the will.

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Have you ever sneezed and peed a little? Not so much that you were drenched in urine, just a little. Nope.

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Have you ever had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance? No.

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What are your parting words? I usually say "take care." See you, or see you later.

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How do you know that you are drunk? You magically become far more attractive.

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Is it wrong to eat your pet cat after it dies? Only if you don't share.

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Where does the saying to get away "scot free" come from? Scot was a type of tax, so it meant to get off tax free.

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What would you rather own, a jetpack or a lightsaber? The jetpack. A lightsaber would be cool at first, but there's not really much you can do with it, unless you fancy, y'know, killing baddies. The jetpack would be far more practical and fun in "real life".

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What are some reasons to look in a mirror? Why should everyone else get to admire this and not me?

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Have you ever been mooned? Have you ever mooned someone? Yes I've been mooned and yes I have mooned people. We used to moon out of the school bus window all the time to cars and pedestrians on the way home.

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What's the name of a song that you never want to hear again? Is This The Way To Amarillo, by Tony Christie.

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One for the Brits - which is better, Coronation Street or Eastenders? Corrie. Eastenders has some terrible writing, and when they do comedy it is just plain embarassing.

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What music do you like out of your parents collection? Apart from the very occasional song by other artists, Johnny Cash is the only one we agree on.

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Should principals allow gay or lesbian couples to attend school proms or dances? If gays have the balls to come out while still in school (not always the best place to be homosexual), then the school should have the balls to let them go if they want.

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Would you cut off your thum for a million dollars? Yes, as long as it was my right one (I'm left-handed).

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If you had a personalized licence plate on yer car, what would it say? I wouldn't, they are considered to be the badge of the tosser where I am.

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I'm about to go outside. It's freezing cold where I live. I love to layer up makes me feel snug. How about you? I don't really like wearing a lot of layers, so my winter wardrobe isn't really much different to my summer one. I'll wear a jacket all the time as opposed to just sometimes in the summer and zip it up, but apart from wearing more long-sleeved tops instead of t-shirts that's about it really.

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Which is better Physically or mentally skilled? There is no better, it's horses for courses really. The world needs physically adept people and it needs mentally adept people to function well.

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Cheryl Cole or Dannii Minogue? Cheryl doesn't have a plastic face, and she has a Geordie accent, so I'll go with her. As an added bonus I have a chance, as she has shit taste in men.

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Do you love Bobby? Yes, I'm not so keen on Tommy Cannon though.

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Would you sleep with a stranger for $1,000,000? Hmmmn....let me think.....that will be a yes.

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When a british person refers to someone as a "bloke" what does that mean. Is it an insult? No, it is just like man, or guy.

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News Item: "Catholic Church finally forgives John Lennon." Well I know that I'm going to sleep better knowing this! (please note snarky tone in voice) How about you? No word as yet on their thoughts on Yoko Ono's Starpeace album though I see.

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Do you realise that everyone you know someday will die? I had my suspicions.

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If you had a choice to choose between living until your 100 but you would be lonely and bitter or living for another 10 years where you would be peaceful and happy; which would you choose? The latter any day.

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Do you talk to inanimate objects? Only when they don't work, then I might occasionaly swear at them.

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Why do people in poor countries live in poverty? For the craic.

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When i was young my mother shouted to me "you're for the high jump" i took her advice and am now loking forward to 2012 olympics.Has anyone inspired you to great things and how? My mother used a popular saying in my country when she told me to go "away n' take your face for a shite". Ever since then I have done exactly that, and now due to using my face for this unpleasant task I have a lovely, clean, pristine botty.

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Myth or reality Bruce Lee was Welsh? Enter the dragon boyo!! Apparently Hollywood forced him to drop the K off the end of his name for the international market.

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Donny Osmond keeps using my back yard as a toilet, how do I stop him? Install electric wiring cunningly hidden all through the grass so that when he pisses he hurts "little Donny". He won't do it any more, mon.

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Coming home from work. I caught my wife in bed with `The Three Stooges`, what should I do? Film it and release it as the long-awaited sequel to one of their hits, calling it F**k Soup and keeping all the profits.

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Can you give me a few good tips to follow in case I want to take up cyber dating? Curvy is often used when they actually mean overweight nowadays, so if you are after a specific body type, tread carefully.

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How would you describe your youth in three words? Better than now.

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Whats your opinion about a tattoo on the lower back? I'm not a fan, I think they look trashy.

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I caught my wife`s Teddy bear in her dirty laundry basket, what should I do with the dirty little pervert? Sniff him?

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Would you eat at a nude restaurant? No, I really don't want to be looking at some ugly man's dangly bits when I'm chewing on a sausage.

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Do you think it’s sexy when you see a woman driving a pick up truck? Nope.

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Have you ever played `The Sailors Hornpipe`? Yes, I'm a fan of anything associated with seamen.

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Is it just me or do people from england sound sexy? Some do, some don't. It depends where about in England they are from, as I think Geordies sound sexy, but Brummies don't, for example. Apologies to any Brummies.....

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Are you lover of foie gras? Never tried it, never will.

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Do you keep within the speed limit? In town yes, out of town not always.

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When was the last time you drank so much that when you laid down , the bed, the room, the World were all spinning like a Merry Go Round? Sometime in my teens. That stopped happening after a while, thankfully.

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Should everyone spend a day/night in jail so maybe they would think twice before committing a crime? No, for one thing one night isn't enough if you are trying to create a deterrent, and I don't see why innocent people should have be punished for nothing.

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Do you think Gordon Brown has been treated fairly or harshly over the 'Jamie Janes' letter? I think he has been treated harshly. As Brian I says at least he sent a handwritten personal note, instead of just signing a stock one. He can't do right for doing wrong nowadays, and while I'm no fan of his I think that his heart was in the right place, and being judged by The Sun for having written something dodgy is like being called skanky by Amy Winehouse.

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Who should become Aerosmith's new frontman? Shaun Ryder, though you may not know who that is.....it would be amusing. Otherwise I think that they should just call it a day.

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Do people get your sense of humour, or do you often stand there with no one laughing at your attempt of a joke, especially if you have a dry sense of humour? The people who know me well get it, but when getting to know people I'm often taken completely seriously or a joke is missed, as I have a dry and occasionally slightly surreal sense of humour, and often have a straight face when I saying something in a jokey manner.

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Vinnie Jones on I'm a celeb, what is he thinking of? Vinnie Jones can't think, that's the point.

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When 2 strangers knock on your door, what are your immediate thoughts? One of you could have done the knocking, it didn't need both of you.

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Are you not God? Can you prove you are not GOD? I've given up trying.

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Predator or alien Alien.

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Who actually tells bald men that growing what little hair they have left long, is a good look? Their lord and master, Sir Francis of Rossi.

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Dare to answer this? There are two identical pictures that will appear on the screen. Almost 8000 people were tested to see if they could find the 3 differences and only 19 got it. See how observant you are and if you find all 3 differences, you are one o If they are identical there can't be three differences.

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Which are worth more: sheep or rams? Rams, one went recently not too far from me for, if I remember correctly, £231000.

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If you had the choice would you reincarnate here on Earth? No, once is enough.

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Do you know any movies about mental illness/drugs/therapy, like a drama (similar to sybil)? Shine.

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My aunt delivered a baby boy on Sunday. She wanted to name her son Hussein after our great leader, but then again she decided to name the boy Hasan after all. What is goin on? She changed her mind.

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Do you have seasonal depression? Nope.

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If you walked one mile straight from where you're facing right now, where would you end up? In a wood.

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Non-American English Speakers: When in a foreign country, do some locals automatically assume you are American? Nope, I have a strong Scottish accent and use a lot of Scottish words in my speech, so I don't think that could happen.

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Why do people refer to the USA as America when it is only a small part of the continent? If I am talking about the USA I say the USA or US, though I call people from there Americans, because they are; calling them that doesn't imply that they are the ONLY Americans.

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Is it ok for a 17 year old girl to date a 25 year old guy? At those ages it is a bit of a gap, and more noticable than if both were say 30 and 38, but it is okay as far as I am concerned and I've known partnerships with similar age gaps work fine, though it does depend on what country you live in for legal age of consent laws too, as 16 is fine in my country, but in some others it can be eighteen.

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When an American is writing to a Brit, is it polite to use British spelling, like Colour instead of Color? If you're talking in person in the USA should you ask where the Loo is? or the Bathroom? Write the way that you usually write. I know that the majority on this site are from the USA but I still write using UK spelling and words, though I may occasionally refrain from using words such as fag, or at least put a little explanation of the difference in meaning after....

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How far from your home is the nearest hospital? A couple of miles, give or take.

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WTF is goin on w attractive guys who have no confidence with women? How's that even possible? Perhaps they don't know that they're attractive, or perhaps they were ugly ducklings who were constantly taunted for their ugly looks and despite blossoming with age they carry the mental scars, and inside still believe they are unattractive.

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Why does life turn some people so bitter? Some people have crap lives, perhaps being constantly abused, and many people don't achieve their dreams and have to live unfulfilled lives devoted to work they have little or no interest in. People are born without any choice in the matter and then have to live according to rules they may not agree with for the rest of this unasked for existence.

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Its a pleasure to ride a Motorcycle all out in the open? Helmets do interfere with the enjoyment of the activity! Why Can't we cancel the law that makes wearing of helmets by motorcyclists compulsory? If I had a motorcycle and it wasn't against the law then I wouldn't use a helmet, as I much prefer to go without one.

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What will be my life partners name? Hector Mandarin the third.

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Do you agree non-veg eaters turn their stomachs to a graveyard when they eat dead animals? No, a graveyard has bones in it, and any meat passes through, so it is more like an airport where meat visits on its way to somewhere else.

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Tomorrow I'm going to visit a friend who has a pinched nerve in his back and can't walk. What's a good non-cheesy gift to give him? DVD, or books, or magazines if he is stuck in the house and can't walk.

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Do you say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays"? I'm from the UK so I say Merry Christmas, as a holiday is what you call a vacation here.

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Blokes are often reputed as bragging about the size of their wang-dang-doodle, has any woman in the history of all time ever bragged about the size of her regions? I've seen plenty women boasting about their big baps, which I suppose is their version of boasting about my, sorry, I meant a man's large member.

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Does your car have a sunroof? Yes, but I always forget that it's there.

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What's something that your friends/family would never expect you to do? Move to Africa.

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What do you do when you find a corpse in your yard? Cancel the gardener's wages, it doesn't look like he needs the money anymore.

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As a man, would you rather go to a male or a female doctor if you needed to have your private parts examined?which would you consider less awkward? Female.

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Dogging in edinburgh Don't do it on Prince's Street, you will probably get arrested. Make sure you do it in a park or somewhere quiet.

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Does anyone want to dust my room for me?=D Don't bother, dusting is SOOO last season. Just wear a pair of dark sunglasses indoors and voila, the dust magically disappears.

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I called in "sick" from work today to do some yardwork and pay some bills. Is that morally reprehensible or what? ;-) Yes, that utterly disgusts me. Everyone knows that you don't skive off work to do MORE work, you should have chilled out on the sofa n' watched a DVD or something. I'm very disappointed in you.

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Do you check your smoke detectors to make sure they work? I'm not even sure if I have any, I'll have to check for thast first.

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Boxing or MMA? Boxing, MMA is too much like wrestling for me, and I find wrestling boring.

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Are teenagers the hardest people to buy gifts for? Once they reach their teens I just give them money; it's much easier.

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Apparently, one in 20 British school kids thinks that Adolf Hitler is the German national football coach, Auschwitz is a theme park and the Blitz was a clean-up operation carried out after the war. What does this say about the UK education system? I think that a large part of Britain is becoming very thick,and there is a significant percentage who think that knowing things isn't "cool". There is a quiz on Channel Four I have sometimes seen that I quite like, I can't remember what it ia called but Dave Berry hosts it. I like it because I have become significantly dumber over the past few years, and it is nice and easy....

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What age is an adult to you? 18 or 21? 18, by that age you can do everything (legally) that is important in life in my country.

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For non-United States citizens: Can you name at least ten of the states in the US? Mississipi. Oklahoma. New York. Texas. Hawaii. Arizona. Alaska. Wyoming. Idaho. Nebraska.

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Do you have problems with hayfever? Yes. The first time I got it was when I went to a music festival at the age of 23. Because I'd never had it before I had nothing with me to relieve the symptoms and had to spend 3 days camping out with red, streaming eyes etc.

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What was the biggest news event in the twentieth century? World War 2.

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In a reference letter, "great potential" usually means "dumb as a brick". Any other secret messages that you know of in "polite" testimonials? "A really hard worker who is always willing to put in the extra hours to get the job done" means "dull b*****d who has no life".

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When was the last time you went and watched something live ,like sport ,a concert, any sort of entertainment, and what was it you watched.? An Oasis concert at Wembley Stadium in London back in August. I was going for a stag do anyway and someone got the chance of tickets four days before we went, so it was a little added bonus.

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Calling all men: Do you think a blond(naturally), Green eyed, skinny, 21 year old,chick is sexy? I would have to see her, as it depends on her face and other things too sometimes, though being skinny isn't generally sexy to me.

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Are you an underachiever, achiever, or overachiever? Underachiever.

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Would you rather be a vegetartian or a carnivore? (aside from health issues, like becoming overweight) Carnivore.

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Have you ever had a racist thought? Yes.

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Would you ever wear a pair of pink sunglasses? No, I don't really rock the Elton John look.

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What famous movie have you never seen? The Harry Potter ones. Citizen Kane.

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Why do men attend weddings? To get drunk after the ceremony.

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Anyone remember prisoner cell block h. The unintentionally hilarious aussie tv show? Good ol' Vinegar tits. I never really watched it but my sister and mum did, so sometimes I would see bits and pieces, and it was unintentionally hilarious with the already mentioned wobbly walls etc. Now I'm pobably going to have that theme tune going through my head for the rest of the night; thanks.

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How much do you enjoy shopping for christmas? Not at all.

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In your time zone what meal will be your next? Breakfast.

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Survey: Do you prefer beer or wine? And (important) where are you from? Beer. I'm from Scotland.

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What nationality are you? Scottish.

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At what age are men seen as in their prime? I would say mid to late twenties.

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Should the Royal Mail issue a stamp in honour of Benny Hill? No, he was crap.

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What does it mean when a black act crosses your way when you are about to leave for work? That you live next door to the Four Tops? Assuming you meant cat then in some places it's good luck, some places bad luck, in reality nothing at all.

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What shouldn't you say to a guy watching his favourite football team? "So I was reading this report that said that men like to watch sports because all those muscular men in tight outfits indulging in bodily contact appeals to their latent homosexuality; what do you think?"

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What are some really good pickup lines that work (male to female)? Lick the end of your finger and touch her dress or top with it, and say "here, let me help you out of those wet clothes."

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Why do you think the American Christian civilian turned his gun on the abortion provider? I see what you did there.....

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Why am I getting so much hate on here? Should I just leave? Would the site be better off without me? Meh.

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Why does the US media pick up on one specific missing-person case every few years, and make it national news? Thousands go missing every day in the US alone... It isn't just in the US, it happens in the UK too. A girl called Madeleine McCann went missing in 2007 and it was huge news every day, month after month for a long time after her disappearance. She still crops up every few weeks in the media, yet plenty of other children go missing and may (if they are lucky) get a small mention for a couple of days.

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How do you feel about immigrants coming to your country I don't have a problem with it as it has happened for a long time anyway, as long as they are legal and coming in numbers that the infrastructure of the country can cope with.

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Why are you ABing right now? All of you friends are asleep. It's mid-day where I am.

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If I said to you, 'Birmingham, England' - what would you say? Why, are yow a Brummie?

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Has anyone seen the movie Let the Right One In? Yes, I have the DVD, I think it's a great film, though I loaned it to my sister and brother-in-law and they thought it was funny for all the wrong reasons and crap....

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The ABer Dayvid had pizza for dinner. Could he be pregnant??=DDD Did David have a Hawaiian? in that case possibly; receiving the meat of a Hawaiian CAN result in pregnancy.

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Why men can't cross their legs as tightly and gracefully as women? Most men probably don't even want to try as it doesn't look very manly, plus as others have said, things get squashed.

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I have a pet Goldfish named Spot. For 6 points, can you guess why I named him "Spot"? He's going through that awkward teenage phase?

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What will happen in 2012? Do you mean the Olympics?

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16 is it wrong to lose virginity at this age Not really, it's pretty normal to lose or have already lost it by then.

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Can you name a song that mentions television in the lyrics? Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy, Telivision the drug of the nation:

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Why do people think guys who fix their hair, dress fashionably or stylish, spend lots of time grooming and fixing themselves in front of a mirror are gay or metrosexual. Im as straight as you can get and I do all this stuff. Because a guy who does all this is metrosexual.

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What's the most unusual sandwich you've had? I used to eat sugar sandwiches as a child.

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How much do looks matter to you? They're important, but as long as someone is reasonably attractive and takes care of themselves then the personality is most important.

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Fold your hands. What thumb is on top? Left.

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What are you thinking of right now? The answer I was going to give to another question, but decided against it.

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Do you think the Brits should ditch their boring and morbid Nation Anthem for this ( The First Answer) It would be more inclusive than the current one, as many won't sing it as it is all about someone they don't care about, rather than their country. It is also the party anthem for the Tories though, so some might still not sing it for that reason.

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Whats that song that goes fallen fallen fallen fallen it's been in my head forever Can you give more clues? what genre, is it a male or female singer etc. It's not Alicia Keyes is it?

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If someone much bigger than you punched you in the face what would you do? Punch back, obviously.

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Will you be on AB on Christmas day? Nope.

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Do you know anyone that you are so comfortable with that you walk into their house without knocking? Nope, I always knock, even with people I've known for twenty years.

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Did you know that In 29 states, it is legal to fire a person on the basis of their sexuality. In 38 states, you can still be fired for being transgender. ENDA could change all that. Are you in favor of it? I knew there were states in the double figures that still allowed people to be fired for that reason, though I actually thought it was a higher figure; perhaps it was when I heard it a few years ago. It seems unbelievable in this day and age that this kind of discrimination still goes on, particularly in a counry which in other ways is so advanced. Yes I'm in favour.

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What is something you do with your friends? Take the piss out of each other.

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He's so dumb he can't even ______________. Spell IQ, never mind sit the test.

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What do you lose and never get it back? Virginity.

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German researchers say unborn babies pick up on their mother's accent. e.g. French newborns cry with a rising cadence, while German babies cry with a falling inflection. Surprised? Or do all crying babies sound much the same to you? They all sound the same to me, but after reading the survey I'll be paying more attention in the future, just to see. There was also a report a while ago that said pet dogs bark in regional accents too....

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How did you decide what your fake name would be (the one you're using on this site, for example)? Was it inspired in part by your real name, or is it completely different? They're just my initials, and also my nickname.

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Can you name something that always gets overlooked? Verne Troyer.

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Do you know what elevensies is? Yes, but I'm from the UK....it's when everyone in the whole country sits down for their tea and crumpets. Apparently.

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What is your favorite Christmas song? This Christmas TV advert is repeated every year in Scotland, and I love it. Music by the Raveonettes, I wish that I could stay:

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Is revenge a good thing or a bad thing? Good if successful.

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I'm creating a "Simple Rhyme Zoo". So far I've gathered a Big Pig, an Elegant Elephant and a Flat Cat. - Care to contribute with some animals of your own? A wino rhino. A slackjaw jackdaw. A wannabe manatee. A bellicose hippopotamus.

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Who is alive that you thought was dead? Vera Lynne.

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Do you think this boxer got what he deserved? Yeah, but it's from a film so it was in the script.

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Would someone please tell Lenny Henry, that he is not nor has he ever been funny? I did like him in Tiswas....

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What are some things that men can do that women can not? Go to the toilet on a night out alone.

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Has anyone else ever drank wine directly from the bottle by themself? Yes, in my young teens when we didn't have much money we would buy bottles of cheap wine and drink it in the park.

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Name me some good rock bands from the 70's 80's? The Stone Roses or The Smiths probably, though there might be others I just can't think of at the moment, and The Roses didn't really become what they could have. Plus Ian "foghorn" Brown can't sing live.

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Why do some people not drink alcohol at all? Religious beliefs. Abstaining alcoholics. Boring.

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Does anyone else think Perez Hilton is the most annoying person on this planet? No, but he would be high up on the list. I always imagine what it musdt be like being one of these people's parents, looking at Perez on TV and thinking, yeah.....I created that.....I'm so proud of what I contributed to the world......

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Why couldn't all the kings horses and all the king men put Humpty Dumpty back together again? Egg-man-thing surgery was still in its infancy back then.

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If someone raped your wife, daughter, or mother-could you kill that person and/or would you kill that person, or could you ever forgive the perp? I would kill them (or at least try) if possible, and the family member who was raped might forgive them over time, but I would not.

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Do you give your adult siblings presents on Christmas and birthdays or cards? Just cards nowadays, they said to stop once they began having families, and just buy for their children instead.

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Who would win this fight? My mother or your mother? Mine is in her seventies now, and past her best, but in her younger days my money would be on her.

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If you took an attractive young lady home & found out she was a he. would you think, `Might as well try it` or would you run away in terror? Neither really, but I would ask him to leave, and might get angry with him for not being upfront

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Do you have a favourite alcoholic tipple? For actual taste and pleasure of drinking (as well as getting drunk) I like beer best, though on a night out I drink mainly vodka.

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Is it really possible for parents to have a favorite child and show that child more love than siblings? Of course it is, and has happened in countless families in the past and present, and will happen countless times in the future. Two examples popped into my head as soon as I read the question, and I could think of many more if I put my mind to it.

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Does your local area have plenty of trees? I live right on the edge of my town, so if I look out of my window to the right I see houses and if I look to the left I see a field and plenty of trees just behind it.

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Is there any sequel to a movie that you have considered better than the first original movie? The Empire Strikes Back. Godfather 2.

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Greetings ! I think The Simpsons presents most charectars in the life ,so what character are you !!? I did a Simpson's test online months ago where you answered questions and it told you which character you were, and wasn't surprised when it told me I was Groundskeeper Willie. I don't look like him though, and hope I have a better sense of humour.

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Have you ever been in penalty box of AB? what do you think its consequences would be? Never, I'm a good boy.

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Did you know today, Nov 5th is Guy Fawks Day? Do you know who that is or why this day is important? Yes, but I'm from the UK so I'm cheating....

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How much extra weight does a friend need to gain before you say something? As soon as it was noticable.

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What is the average price for gasoline in your area? Roughly £5.00 per gallon, which is about $8.30.

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How many words are there for butt? AS well as the ones already mentioned, there is tush, shite pipe, poop chute, hoop, ring-piece, ringer, shiter (not to be confused with shitter, which is the toilet), botty, dock, and dowp.

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What musical instrument will NOT get a guy laid? The comedian Billy Connolly started out playing banjo in a folk group, and says that it doesn't really help you to get much groupies. As he says, you never hear groupies saying "Oh aye, I'm shaggin' the banjo player".

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Do you call the game with a round ball football or soccer? only ever football, though if I mention it on here I may put (soccer) afterwards for any North Americans reading so that they know that I don't mean American football.

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What if the USA plays England in the 2010 World Cup? England should win, though it may be a closer game than it would have been in the past.

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Was the magic roundabout the weirdest animation programme on tv ever? They're all weird. My sister phoned me earlier and at one point described something her son was watching on children's TV, and I said that I reckon that people take drugs as adults to try and recreate the weird shit that they saw as children on TV.

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Are you harmless or violent when you're drunk? Harmless nowadays, been known to be violent in the past.

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Will David Haye beat Nikolay Valuev? I don't think so, and a part of me hopes not too.

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Guys, have you ever kissed a woman's hand when she was introduced to you? I may have done on a night out taking the piss, but otherwise no, I think most women would either laugh and/or think I was a creep if I did that nowadays.

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How DO you get to Semsame Street? Really in the opening credits "Tell me how to get to sesame street" and thats a real good question :s i mean even the people there dont know where they are! Don't go to Sesame Street, in real life it's really seedy.

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Do you agree teen age years are the most difficult period in one's life? They can be for some, but not for me.

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Were you spoiled as a child? Nope.

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What are some scenes in movies where the actors do something so stupid or a coincidence so stilted that you have to say, "Yeah, right. That's going to happen!"? When cars are driven off twenty foot bridges on to the road below, and bounce up a little then carry on, with perhaps some superficial damage, and two large gentlemen having a twenty minute fight involving much punches to the face, yet somehow no blood is drawn.

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Do you own a two dollar bill? Nope, but I am in the UK.

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Do you think english should be learned by all people in the united states? I think that if you move to a country, any country, then you should make the effort to learn the main language of that country.

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Has your name ever been abbreviated into a nickname? No, that would be pretty hard. It has been elongated into one sometimes though.

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What's the last thing you "SHOUTED OUT LOUD"? Some swear words when in pain.

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Have you ever seen a Peregrine Falcon, if so where? I heard a noise outside my open window last year, and when I went over to see what it was there was a falcon attacking a smaller bird. The smaller bird was lying on its back and the falcon had one talon on its chest, and was pecking at it. I thought about scaring it off but then realised that they have to eat too, but it was quite strange to watch the slow death of the little bird. I can't...

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Do you say i love you to your dad? No.

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Brits at home and expats - will you be enjoying fireworks and a bonfire tonight? Nah, my back's hurt at the moment and it hurts to stand or sit for long periods, so unless someone is willing to lay out a nice bed or sofa ringside for me I can't....I might see some fireworks from my window though.....

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What do you think about people who condone incest? They're real motherf***ers.

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Are you an alcoholic if you consume it only on the weekends? No, or there would be far more people classed as alcoholics than there actually are.

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Do you have an opinion on Lily Cole? Regardless of what it's reference, looks, style, acting ability etc, just feel free to unload. I can't comment on her acting ability as I haven't seen anything she's been in, though I wouldn't mind seeing Terry Gilliam's new film that she's in as he does interesting stuff. I think she looks weird though, like a Tim Burton puppet or something.

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Are you listening to Christmas music yet? I have been listening to it since November 1st. No, there will be enough of it forced upon me repeatedly over the next few weeks without willingly thrusting it upon myself.

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What do you think of the word 'arse'? I'm a big fan, and I hate if I see fellow Brits using ass.

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What are somethings that you hate to see people doing while out in public? Adults indulging in heated displays of affection, and women spitting.

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...what has made you glad that you are alive today? Nothing.

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How old do you think "old enough" is to have sex, ive heard a lot of people say 18.... idk doesnt really make sense to me... It depends on the individual, but hopefully not before fifteen.

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I keep finding myself smiling at the ab-rich picture on the main page and his smiling face, does he make you smile as well? Nope, he's just a bloke to me.

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What's the last song you had going through your head or sung out loud? New York City Cops by The Strokes was going through my head when I woke up.

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Would you ever consider going on Jeremy Kyle? No, I don't own a shellsuit.

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Do you ever talk to your neighbors, or are they almost like strangers to you? Strangers, I say hello in the passing but that's about it.

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Did you avoid eating meat today? Nope.

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How many points do you need till you rank up on AB?I need 11 53 until level 63.

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Yes of No, will you be cramming stuffing up a turkey's butt this Thanksgiving? No.

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Guess who got a A on her second Economics Test?(Hurry up and guess before this question is rated nonsense:) Is it Betty Turpin?

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Have you donated money for Poppy Day & do you wear a Poppy? Not yet, but I will.

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Are you obsessed with Justin Bieber? No, as I have no idea who that is.

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¿spɹɐʍʞɔɐq puɐ uʍop ǝpısdn pɐǝɹ noʎ uɐɔ Yes I can.

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Whats another word for telling on someone? Grass. Snitch. Clipe.

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The bestest cookies/biscuits are....................? Gold biscuits.

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If you see someone who isn't smiling do you assume that they're unhappy, unfriendly or just miserable? No, as I hate it when people assume the same of me. Most people I see don't walk around with a smile on their face all the time, but it doesn't mean that they are any of the things you suggest, it is just normal to walk around with a straight face.

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When was the last time you heard, "Heaven to Mergatroid!"? On TV, I think a few months ago. I've never heard anyone say it in "real life".

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I farted and now there's a hole in my underwear. What should I do to prevent this from happening again? Fart in someone else's underwear.

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What do you not feed a cat? To a shark.

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If you found a hair on the pie you were eating, would you send it back? Yes, a hairy pie is disgusting. I would also do the same if I found a long hair on a bap.

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Do you ever get the feeling the joke is on you? Yes, more and more as I get older.

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Have you ever seen a movie then felt like you will never get those two hours back? What movie was it? Revolver, by Guy Ritchie. Even though I thought it was awful something compelled me to watch right 'til the end, in the hope that everything would come together and make sense. It didn't.

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What would you do if you came up to a toll booth and saw Jesus reaching for your money? Keep driving, as I've never seen him so wouldn't realise that it was him.

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Which race of people have you personally had the most trouble dealing with? And why? Don't worry. If you answer, you won't be admitting to being a racist or anything. My own, white, largely because that is the majority where I live.

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When you picture the Vietnam War, which songs come to mind? All Along The Watchtower, by Jimi Hendrix.

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Has anyone ever managed to sit through all of Alien, Dune and Mad Max without either falling asleep or switching off out of sheer boredom? Alien was great, Mad Max was good, though not as good as the sequel, but Dune wasn't either of those things.

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Do you have or do you know of anyone who has a sixth toe? Not that I'm aware of, though I've known three people with nine toes.

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Do you spell it doughnuts or donuts? What is it made from, dough or do? Doughnuts.

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What's something that seems to annoy a lot of people that doesn't really bother you? Men leaving the toilet seat up......junk mail doesn't really bother me as much as it bothers some other people, I just throw it in the bin.

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Have you ever been propositioned by a member of your own gender? No-one has asked me straight out, but I may have been chatted up in the past and been oblivious, and just assumed it was a bloke being friendly on a night out, as often happens in a drinking environment.

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Are you afraid of gay men and lesbian women? boo. :) Yes, they bombed our chippy. No, not really.

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Do You Think A Rock Band with A Black Lead Female Singer of A Heavy Metal/Punk/Etc. Is Capable of Going Commercial? And would you support the band? (Note: Please keep comments free of vulgar and inappropriate language) The recently reformed Skunk Anansie were succesful, and new band Invasion are getting good reviews, though it is too early to see if this will translate into success.

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Which song you usually sing in the bathroom? All Night Thing, by Temple Of The Dog usually:

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Have you ever ridden in a shopping cart? Yes, and been towed behind a car in one a few times too.

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Will anyone celebrate if and/or when I reach Sage? My mum is planning a street party.

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Do British people actually say "chip chip cheerio"? Cheerio yes, but I've never heard anyone say chip chip cheerio.

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Do you plan on watching the David vs Goliath fight on saturday? I'm not going to be able to watch it, but I don't really know who to support. Normally I would support the British fighter but I don't really like the way David Haye acts, so a part of me hopes that he gets beat, but another part of me doesn't.....I'm confused.

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Are young men your weakness? Nope.

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Is it irresponsible for a father to make his teenage son (who has a driver's license) his designated driver when he goes out drinking with friends? I think it's unwise, but I wanted to know what others thought. It seems a shame for the son having to wait around all night, unless he is happy to do so, or is getting paid for it. He should just get a taxi home.

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What is your favorite Bee Gees song? No, I hate them.

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Have you had the security tag still attached to the product after you purchased it? And what happened in the end? I bought five DVDs on sale a few months ago and paid for them on a self-service checkout. When I got home I noticed each one had a security device in them to stop them being stolen, but it didn't set off any sensors when I left the store.....

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Is it possible to teach an ape Kung Fu? He knows Kong Fu:

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Why is Snooker considered a sport? So that unfit people can say they "do a bit of sport".

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What am I to do, Iv`e only got 3 bullets. But there`s 4 in Motley Crue Mick Mars looks close to death anyway, so shoot the other three.

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Are you ever polite to some obnoxious people when what you really are thinking is "shove it up your derriere"? In working situations yes, but even then there is a limit and if they cross it I'll let them know. Outside of work, no.

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Do you think a parent should automatically get respect because they are the parent? No, you just have to watch some of the parents on Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer to realise some parents don't deserve any respect.

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Have you ever own a pair of yellow color trousers? No, I'm not sure if I've ever owned any yellow item of clothing.

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What do you have to do today? Go to the hospital, and do some housework.

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What is the opposite of "paedophile"? Wayne Rooney.

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The USA and UK are headded towards a neo - liberalistic culture. Agree or Disagree? It is looking like the UK is going to have a Conservative government at the next election, and that, coupled with the rise of the BNP, suggests that in the UK at least it is more likely to swing back the other way. It seems to be more polarised at the moment, where people who would previously have been somewhere in the middle are finding themselves being forced to choose a side, either because...

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Anything in your food cupboard or fridge that's been there for more than 3 years? No, I only buy food that I like and I don't buy large amounts at a time.

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Could you enjoy life without mobile phone? I went a long time without one,as I quite liked people not being able to reach me, but then I had to get one for work and now I would be lost without it.

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Is English your native language? If not, what is? Yes it is.

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Duck, goose, turkey or other? What will you be having for Christmas dinner? Turkey. I've never had anything else.

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Which foreign country you most like to visit? Russia and Japan.

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Do you keep ALL those 'abstract' paintings that your little one brings home from school? I don't have children, but it reminds me on my brother-in-law. His daughter came home from her first day of school with a painting she had done, and showed it to him all excited. "That's shite" he said, and threw it in the fire. It's just his sense of humour....

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What's something that was once quite commonly seen, but that you rarely, if ever, see anymore? I'm not the first to mention this, but white dog pooh.

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Is your mail man sexy? Possibly to women or gay men, but I know both of them so to me they are just two blokes I know. Who put letters through my letterbox.

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When you "check out" a girl's butt do you think about the eternal fiery torment that you're condemning your soul to? It's worth it.

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The answer is mayonnaise. What is the question? Name the spread that is on every sandwich sold in shops, and means that Sid can never buy one.

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Do you have more than $1,000 in your bank account? Yes.

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Would you get mad if i fast forward through the National Anthem while watching the World Series? Nope.

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What living creature (as in not extinct) have you never seen in real life before? Too many to mention.

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Does it drive you nuts when someone "answers" your question with a smart comment or something random which does NOT answer your question? do you rate or ignore? I hardly ever ask questions, but like most of the other answers if it was funny I wouldn't mind, as long as I was getting some "proper" answers too. Does it annoy YOU?

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What other things do you do, when you are ABing? Listen to music or have the TV on usually.

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Alright,who do YOU think is more attractive,Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie? Megan Fox.

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What comes to mind when I say "Good Morning"? Oxymoron.

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Have you been told that you are hard to get to know? No, but I know that I am anyway.

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Any tips on street fighting? If your hands and legs are being held or engaged remember that you can use your head too.

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You want to borrow my shovel? Give me a good reason why! There's a fox in my garden and I want to make soup. This may make more sense in the UK, but I read recently about how to tell what class you are, and you find out by your reaction to finding a fox in your garden. If you are Upper Class then you will get on a horse and chase it. If you are Middle Class then you will gather your children to the window and you will all draw a picture of it....

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In his recent autobiographical book, Andre Agassi confesses about consumming crystal meth. Also he says: "My mullet lost me the French Open" (It was a wig). The former I find disappointing, the latter, kind of amusing. Your opinions / comments? To have a real mullet is bad enough, but to spend money on a mullet wig? if that isn't a good anti-drug message then I don't know what is. There are some people saying he should lose some of his awards because of this, but I don't really think that crystal meth is a known performance enhancer....

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If someone is judging you by your looks and they say your a 6, average plus...what does that mean? It means they think that you are just slightly above average in the looks department.

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How do you get blood stains off clown shoes? Wait until it dries completely, and when it is Krusty simply pick it off.

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Do you have a friendly face? (Feel free to illustrate.) When smiling yes, when not smiling, no.

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Were you a loner in high school? No, not at all.

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What do women see in Russel Brand? Not an answer to your question really, but I've always wondered this too. There are plenty of men where I can see the attraction, but with him I am at a genuine loss.

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Why would space aliens be interested in visiting Earth? To cash in their air mile coupons.

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When you were at school, did you ever swallow chewing gum to avoid getting in trouble for having it? I always swallowed chewing gum anyway.

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How will god punish all the sinners celebrating Halloween tonight? With a slight chafing of the knee, and possibly a Chinese burn.

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What would you do if you went to a fast food restuarant and went through the drive thru and when you came to the window where you're suppose to get your food the employee refuses to give you your food unless you kiss them? If she was a reasonably attractive female I would comply, otherwise point out that I'd already paid, so give it to me now, or else.

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What genre of film do you not watch? Chick flicks and musicals.

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On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the best) how do you rate your social skills; and why? About a 4. I'm fine with people that I know, but it takes a while to get to know me, and I always wish that I could be drunk every time I meet new people, as I am fine if I meet someone when I'm drunk, and that breaks the ice so that I am then okay whenever I see them after that. In reality though this would mean starting new jobs etc. reeking of vodka, which isn't really...

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Where would be the weirdest place where you would find a pink plastic flamingo? Floating in the toilet bowl after you have vacated your bowels.

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Did you have more or less trick-or-treaters this Halloween than on average? The same amount that I've had over the past few years: none. It seems to be dying out around here, though I do still see some going around in other parts of the town if I go out and about.

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Have you heard that it is bad luck to have bananas on a boat? I have now.

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What's the best over the counter medication for agonizing back/sciatica pain? It depends how bad the pain is. Ibruprofen might work if the pain isn't too bad, but if it is agony it will have little or no effect, so you will probably have to go to the doctor for something stronger.

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Does it bother you when people say that they have no money, but they spend it on alcohol, cigarettes, and/or drugs when they do have it? It depends, I've said I'm skint in the past but still had enough cash for a night out. When you say that you are skint you often don't mean that you actually have NO money, just not as much spare cash at that particular time as you would like to do certain things. Also for some people who are poor having a pint or a smoke is their only little pleasure that they can have.

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What is the best broken heart songs for you!!! This is the first one that sprang to mind:

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Are you on flood alert? I'm okay where I am, though I was lucky this year. I moved at the beginning of the year and a couple of months ago there was bad flooding in my town, with hundreds evacuated, and on the news they were reporting from just in front of my old flat, which had a nice new river surrounding it.....There is a golf club not far from my new place which was completely flooded at that time too, but...

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If a person seriously considers suicide, does this automatically make them 'mentally ill'? Nope.

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What is the opposite of tourettes Ned Flander's Syndrome.

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Do you ever think, I`m not going to bed until I reach the next level on Answerbag? Yes, or if I have say 94 points I'll stay on until I hit a round 100.

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What species of animal, not commonly domesticated. Would make a good pet? Children would probably like a Koala bear.

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What exactly is a "manly" man? one like your dad or grandad probably was.

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What was your favourite playground rhyme? My answer no longer made sense after the change, so ignore me.....shouldn't be too hard to do that.

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I love my old mum, do you love yours? Yes I do. I don't actually know anyone who doesn't like her, and as she has aged she's turned into the classic sweet little granny, though she's still probably deceptively strong like her own mum was. I remember getting a hug from her mum (my gran, coincidentally) and feeling like my ribs were going to break, and my mum was always lifting cars above her head to hoover under...

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When writing a book, if one of the characters is of african descent, is it ok to use the word 'black' to describe him? I suppose it depends on what country you are in, it is okay in some countries (such as the UK) but some other countries may have a problem with it.

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Would you have sex with Amy Winehouse if she was sober and clean? What if she was drunk or high? Neither, she's a cure for heterosexuality.

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When will HARI ELWING SHAYM Magic is Afoot shut up already? I like to know. 2012. That's what the new movie is all about.

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When did Bruce Forsyth last have sex? He is so old that he can actually remember when sex was first invented; I think he was about seventeen at the time. He's married to a former Miss World so he's probably still giving it a go, leading his wife upstairs on the stairlift to heaven.

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Gays have a flag...what would a "straight" flag look like? It would be rigid, and not flutter in the wind.

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Are you straight? It's ok, you can tell me. Yes.

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What enternainment shoud`nt you get for a kids birthday party A Michael Jackson or Gary Glitter tribute act.

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Anyone got some good jokes? I went to the doctor yesterday and said "Doctor, could you take a look at my penis?" Doctor: "Sure, drop your trousers." After a few moments of studying it closely. "I can't see anything wrong with it". ME: "I know, beautiful, isn't it?"

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Can you name someone who never has to work another day in his/her life? My parents.

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Have you ever spent time trying to be a good whistler? How proficient are you? No, because I hate whistling.

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What has a Catholic done to you personally? Made me stovies (a meat and potato dish, great when you're drunk) after a night out.

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Have you ever been across the sea to skye? Only for a day's work, and everyone seemed to drive at twenty miles an hour, which was a bit annoying....seemed a nice place for a break though.

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Do you have a favourite Punk song? Probably this one:

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In your country which state or region is poked fun at the most? Deservedly or not! As Hostie says, in my country the North poke fun at the South and vice versa.

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How long do you normally spend at a wedding? Do you leave after the ceremony part, the meal or do you stay untll the wee hours of the following morning? Attending one in May next year, looking for advice. Stay 'til the wee sma' hours, that's the best bit. The wedding and meal part is okay, but the reception afterwards is the main attraction, though it is always over too quick.

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Halloween is over, so why don't you take off that mask? Hallowe'en may mean the removal of masks for you mere mortals, but for us superheroes the fight against crime is NEVER over.

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How many pushups would you expect a bodybuilder to be able to do? At least 80.

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Does anyone know where I can find something cheap to act as a mini parachute for when I jump from my school's roof? Bed sheets would probably be best.

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I don't like using the term "straight" to describe myself, as it implies that others are somehow "bent" or "crooked". What other term besides "hetero" is appropriate? I have heard "a friend of Dorothy" used to describe homosexuals, so something like "I'm a friend of Hefners" is the only thing I can think of....

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Have you ever hurt someone and now wish you could apologize to them? No, if I've hurt someone I know and later regretted it I've always apologised, and if I hurt a stranger then they deserved it so no sorrow was felt.

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Would you want someone just like you to be in the trenches with you and by your side when the going gets tough? Yes, definitely.

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As angry as a__________________? To borrow Noel Gallagher's description of his angry brother: "he's like a man with a fork in a world full of soup".

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Where i live it's chucking it down. What's it like where you are? Same here.

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What comes to mind when I say "Slapper"? A slag, or slut.

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What do you find the most beautiful of Gods creation? My ears are burning.

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Are you able to watch TV programmes/shows from different countries than your own, if so which do you like to watch? The only other countries that I can think of which have shows that get shown in the UK are from the USA and Canada, and I watch some of those. At the moment I like Dexter, and I'm getting into True Blood, which I didn't like to begin with. There have been many in the past though, and my favourite show The Sopranos came from the US.

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What was the worse nightmare you ever had.......? I used to have a recurring dream when I was young where I was sleeping in bed and little stick men would climb up into my bed, and try to drag me down through the floor and into Hell. The worst part was that if you have a nightmare where you are outside or something then when you wake up you know it was just a nightmare, but when you are in your bed in the nightmare and you wake up....in your...

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When you gain weight where does it go first on your body? My face.

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I should like to give Noel Edmonds a _________? Second-hand enema, where you use the shitty water you have just pumped out of the last client to pump up inside the creepy gnome.

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Do you ever rate questions without answering them? Sometimes it is a good question that I don't know the answer to, but would like to, and occasionally I've uprated a question, began writing a long-winded answer and then quit halfway through because I can't be arsed; I'm a very lazy typist....

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My brother is only 5'7 and he is 256 pounds. He thinks he is not even overweight? What do you think about his weight? That sounds more like obesity rather than just being overweight, unless he is a bodybuilder.

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Have you ever heard of an instrument called a Jews harp? What is it like? Yeah, my dad used to have one, also called a jaw harp. Hard to explain but twangy.....you had to watch and not hit it off your teeth when playing it.

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What is a good hang over cure? (besides not drinking alcohol in the first place) The only cure I've ever found is to resume drinking, otherwise I just lessen the pain with lots of flaking out on the sofa eating junk.

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Who do you want to win X-factor 2009? Stacey probably will, as Brian and Pete winning Big Brother proves that the general public likes the mentally subnormal.

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Are there still places in Scotland where the old 'Sawain' is celebrated as Halloween is? Not that I'm aware of, but there may be a link to the fact that Hallowe'en has always been celebrated here, whereas it is only recently that it has taken off in England due to the Hollywood influence.

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Does growing older sadden you? Yes, it sucks.

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So the little brats have just knocked on my door for the umpteenth time tonite. The next one that calls i will __________________? Brick or eat.

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Is it wrong to eat horse? Nope.

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Kylie or Danii Minogue? Which one would you? Kylie.

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Do you enjoy raps? Are rappers singers or entertainers? I wouldn't call them singers, as to me it is more similar to reciting poetry over music, so I would call them entertainers, or musicians.

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Have you ever made an . . . . .insincere. . . . . . .apology? Why? As a schoolchild a few times yes, to get out of trouble. Not as an adult though.

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Where is the best place to hide a dead body? In the audience of a Daniel O'Donnel concert, blends right in.

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Which sports team has the most expensive playing roster? I know that Real Madrid spent around £200 million on a few new players in the summer, and that doesn't include those who were already there of course, plus their wages on top of that.

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Brits: Is anyone else a little bit miffed as to why "chocolate-hobnob-gate" is even making the news? Do you think it should be construed as racist? I watched the original programme and didn't think it was out of order at all, and then watched Have I Got New For You to discover there had been an outcry about it. It's much ado about nothing, and it is the usual thing that often happens nowadays of people looking for offence where none exists.

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What is something that only nerds do? Know everything about the Star Wars universe. Not just what happens in the films, but what happens in all the novels, comics, etc. that have built up around them too.

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I say "American Dad" you say? No, he's Scottish.

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Do you have different colored garbage cans for biodegradable, recycling, and/or garbage? We have two small ones: an orange one for glass and cans, a blue one for paper and card, plus a large brown one for garden waste and a large green one for everything else.

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If you walk in on your mom and your best friend having sex, how would you react? (hitting, laughing, screaming, crying, turning insane, join in etc.) Assuming she was divorced (mine isn't in reality), it would depend on how much I had actually seen. If they were under the covers then I would quickly shut the door and later have an awkward talk with my friend, and ask him whether it was a one-off or was there a future in their relationship, and also ask him not to go into details about his sex life in front of me and other friends EVER....

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Which bands in your view "sold out". The only one that springs to mind is the artist Moby, who licenced out songs on his Play album to approximately three million (I may be exaggerating slightly) advertising companies. Most of the bands I've seen accused of "selling out" in fact are only guilty of "selling", or changing their sound over time, and many people's changes taste over time.

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If you were forced to choose between drinking alcohol or smoking weed, which would you choose? Alcohol.

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I have the first name and the address of a person in London and I need to find her telephone number. Is this possible? Try www.ukphonebook.com, though you may not have much success without a surname.

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How do male actors control erections during nude love scenes? Some of them don't....some of them do end up getting an erection. I can't remember who it was, but one actor said to the actress he was about to do a sex scene with: "before we begin I would like to apologise in advance if I get an erection, and I would also like to apologise if I don't".

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As we know, in line with the Lisbon Treaty, Europeans won't have the right to vote for the "President of Europe". Should we have this right? I think we should, though as a large part of the population of the UK doesn't bother voting in the UK elections, good luck in getting them out to vote for something many will have even less knowledge and interest in. I have to be honest and admit that I couldn't pick out most of the candidates out of a police line-up myself, so I wouldn't know who to vote for.

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Have you ever dreamt of this man? http://thisman.org/history.htm Nope, not as far as I can remember anyway.

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Do all people over the age of 21 go to bars and nightclubs, etc.? Everyone I know did or does, but of course not everyone in the world over the age of 21 does.

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Should Marlon King have a future in soccer after serving an 18 month sentence for assault? I'd be quite happy to see him thrown on to the scrap heap. I saw that one of his family members began shouting out that it was pure racism as (white) Liverpool player Steven Gerrard had recently been let off for being involved in a fight on a night out recently. I think if they were honest with themselves they would realise it was because Gerrard was found to be innocent, and has an...

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Hair of the dog remedy. Truth or just an excuse to start drinking again? I've never tried having just one drink after the night before, so I don't know if that works, but if you get drunk again the hangover does go away, though you are just delaying the inevitable.....

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When is the last time you were downrated on AB? Around ten minutes ago I got a -4 for an answer to the question asking whether I thought Corporal punishmnet should be reintroduced into schools.

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Other than New Years, when else would you sing Auld Langs Syne? The only time I can ever remember singing it other than New Years was years ago when I and two friends had a quiet night playing the Playstation over a few beers. One of us was English and the other two were Scottish, and for some now forgotten reason I and the other Scot started singing all these old Scottish songs that we had heard growing up into the ear of our English friend every time it...

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What is the male equivalent of a "cougar" A Bill Wyman.

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This Mom was all "it's normal for ( seven year old son) to be aggressive with others kids. We have to let boys be boys." Isn't she just enabling a bully? I think it is okay for boys to be aggressive as long as A) it is only play, and B) the other boy is a willing and equal participant.

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What is your favorite bulldog breed? British.

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Would you ever own a pink wallet? That will be a no.

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When was the last time you went trickortreating? 20+ years ago, I can't remember the exact age.

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Who's only in it for the money? It pains me to say it, as he is still my favourite actor, but Robert De Niro nowadays.

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Any body got any good halloween jokes to share? These are not really Hallowe'en jokes, but could be, at a push. A man went to a Hallowe'en party with his girlfriend on his back. "What are you supposed to be?" the host asked. "I'm a snail" he replied. "This is my shell" (Michelle). Another man at the same party turned up in just his underwear. "And what are you supposed to be?" the...

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Is your blood pressure normal? When was the last time you gauge your blood pressure? What was the reading? Yes, it's normal. I had it taken a few months ago and it was fine, though I don't know what the reading was.

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Do you enjoy hallowe'en? As a child I did, but as an adult not really.

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If a beer is in one hand whats in the other? A vodka and lemonade.

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Do you drink Beer & Coca-Cola straight from the can? Coke I do, with beer it depends. I usually drink bottled beer anyway, but if it's in a can I'll put it into a glass if there is one avaliable, as I think it tastes better.

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What can fix all things? Vodka.

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What do you do when you have to poop and puke at the same time? Lie in the bath.

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If James Bond came up to you and said "Hi Mitch!" what would you say back to him? "How's it going Jimmy, did you ever marry any of those women you were always telling me about, Pussy Galore or any of those othe women whose parents obviously worked as script writers on the Carry On films? by the way, my name's not Mitch."

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Do you consider yourself a conformist or a non-conformist? I was a non-conformist when I was younger, but it gets you into too much trouble, so I gave in and have become a conformist, though I still have my moments....

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What's your favorite cult film? Probably The Big Lebowski.

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When it comes to trick or treat, my neighbor says, "If they've got tits or whiskers, I don't give 'em candy." Is he being unreasonable? It sounds a bit creepy that he will be studying young girl's chests to see whether they get a treat or not.

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They say misery loves company, Anybody else feel like Crap today? Yup, I do. I woke up with a sore head and throat and it hasn't improved any over the course of the day.

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I wandered lonley as a..............................? Cow.

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Pink: Hot or Not? I can never make up my mind. Sometimes I think she is and other times I think she isn't, so my answer is....I dunno. Helpful eh?

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What's something that you must be careful not to break? Wind, at certain times.

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What does MMA stand for? Yup, I love that you put this question about MMA in the Mixed Martial Arts category.

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The song "Walk like an Egyptian", would that be allowed now or considered racist? It shouldn't be considered racist because it isn't, but nowadays any mention of race etc. sets alarm bells off, so it probably would run into controversy.

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Maiden or Metallica? Metallica.

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My SIL has breast cancer, she has lost all of her hair due to the chemo. Some of the women in the family are shaving their heads in support of her, They asked me if I would, I want to support, but I don't want to shave my long hair. Am I being selfish? No, it is their choice to do this, they shouldn't be trying to force it upon you. You can show support in plenty of other ways, by being there for her etc.

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What is the worst way of transporting livestock? In the pockets of your jeans, it makes it very hard to get your keys out.

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When' s the last time you felt true joy? As a child.

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What time is your dinner/suppertime? I call dinner what I have at around mid-day, and I have what I call supper or tea between 5 and 6pm.

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Is it cold enough to make your breath frosty? No, we are actually getting some unseasonably warm weather this week, and I don't even have the heating on in the house and it's still a bit too warm inside.

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When was the last time you used your passport? In August to go to London.

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Would you date an independent, pretty woman with a good personality, if you knew that she was black? Yes.

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Do comedians have to use different material in other countries? I think most of them would keep the bulk of their material, but modify it slightly for different countries, and jettison some material that is country-specific. A UK comic might have some material about a celebrity who is huge in the UK but means nothing in other countries so it make sense to drop that from their act, or make jokes about people from certain parts of their country that again...

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Did Bob Marley ever do time for shooting the sherriff? Yes, he spent some time in the Stir (it up) Waiting In Vain for parole.

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Did you ever do something because of peer pressure you wouldn't have done otherwise? No, I was always happy to do most of the things my peers were doing anyway, and anything I don't want to do I won't, no matter how much pressure was being put upon me by my peers.

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Do you think the older you get the harder life gets? Yes.

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I'm in mood for some punk music. Know of any good punk bands? To add to those already mentioned: Refused; F**ked Up; Poison Idea; Bad Brains; Gallows; Black Flag.

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Do you respect people who don't drink? If there are other reasons to respect them then yes, but I'm not going to respect them JUST because they don't drink.

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What do you put on surveys when they ask for gender and yours isn't one of the two listed? Get the scissors out and start cutting, problem solved.

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Do you wish there was a filter so that you could completely block people who use racism on answerbag (like they didn't even exist)? I think it's better that they are allowed to say what they think, so that they are out in the open and we know who they are.

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I live in Chicago and noticed that one of the freeways I drive on is called "Ronald Reagan memorial tollway". Who is Ronald Reagan? I know he did some acting early on in his life. Not sure what he got up to after that though.

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Do you like the cartoon American Dad? I do not. It's.....okay. It's watchable, but not a must-see.

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If someone paid you $1,000 would you go skydiving? Yes, though I wouldn't bother telling them that I would have done it for free.

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When you are on a road trip do you prefer to be the driver, the front seat passenger, or a back seat passenger ? (why) It depends how many others are on the trip. If there are two or three on the back seat then I'd prefer to be in the front passenger seat, but if I'm in the back myself then I'll choose that, as you can stretch out, though if there is music playing quite loudly you do often have to stratch forward and ask the others to repeat themselves a lot.

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How often have you had to go to the hospital in the last two years? None, though I have to go next Tuesday as I have a slipped disc and sciatica at the moment.

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I have three friends who don't like each other but they all like me who I know from my school. Did something like this ever happened to you? Yes. Two of my best friends who I have known for years no longer talk, and it makes things awkward sometimes for me.

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Is it possible to look at a completely naked woman and not lust? If she is physically unattractive enough, yes it is.

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Would you consider voting for the BNP? Not for a second.

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Have you ever been asked by a minor to buy alcohol or cigarettes for them? If so what was your reaction? I was asked by some kids to buy them booze once when walking into a shop, but I said no, sorry. I have bought for family members who were underage at social occasions, but only ones who were a year or two under.

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We have special drawers in our homes for silverware, socks, underwear, junk, etc. What is something that you probably don't need a special drawer for?? (humor invited) The vegetable drawer at the bottom of my fridge has beer in it.....

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Is it trashy to be able to see the whale tale (as they call it ) on a girls gstring...or attractive? I don't like seeing anyones underwear showing above their trousers, male or female. When females do it with their g-string I think it looks like their equivalent of the builder's arse, which I don't really find attractive either.....

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Is David Beckham worthy of a spot on England's 2010 World Cup roster? Yes, in a supersub capacity only though, which he seems to accept nowadays anyway.

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Does anyone else feel more energized and upbeat when Fall arrives and there is a little nip in the air? I do, it's my favourite time of year. It's not too hot and it's not too cold, and I feel more comfortable doing things that require physical exertion as in the summer the heat often saps my energy, and I get sweaty and irritable, so I'm far more perky and up for doing things at this time of year.

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If we were heading out to a bikers' bar tonight, what would be some of the tunes that you'd be punching into the jukebox? It depends what tunes are in there, I just choose what I like and don't tailor it to suit different places.

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Where have all the straight women gone? They're hiding behind the sofa, waiting until you go away.

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Does homosexuality exist in anything other than humans? Yes, it has been observed many times in various animals, and I saw a couple of male dogs getting down to it once myself.

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Does Monty Python make you laugh? Like most sketch shows they were a bit hit or miss, though Life Of Brian was good.

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What is your idea of a typical 1970's song? Freebird, by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

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Is it wrong or normal, to fantasize about murdering people that irritate you I think so, I know I've done it plenty of times.

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What is your favorite insult? Spunk bubble. Jism monkey. F**knut or f**knugget. Fannyba's. (fannyballs).

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What are other ways for you to tell me youre going to the toilet? Going to powder my nose (not one I've ever used though....). Going for a dump. Going to drop a log. I'm away for a slippery (rhyming slang, slippery fish: pish). Going for a stoor. Going for an ecky (more rhyming slang, ecky as in Ecky thump: dump).

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What cover song is better than the original? The Johnny Cash version of Nine Inch Nails' Hurt. The White Stripes version of Dolly Parton's Jolene. Mark Lanegan's version of Bob Dylan's Man In The Long Black Coat. To name a few.

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What's your favourite alcoholic beverage? Beer, though on a night out I drink more vodka.

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When I say, you are very s e x y, you say ______? Well DUH!!

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If Woody Allen was not rich and famous, do you think he would still be a virgin? It does remind me of the answer footballer Peter Crouch gave when asked what he would have been if he hadn't been a footballer. "A virgin".

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How many scientists are actually surprised that chimps and humans share a common biological ancestor? 64.

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Where is the worst place you could yell out swine flu? On an aeroplane.

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When is violence the answer? When it is being used against you.

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If snakes and alligators and scorpions and you name it "taste like chicken", then why doesn't turkey taste like chicken? It does to me.

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If you could sing, who would you like to sound like? I can sing anyway, but if I could sound like anyone it would be Mark Lanegan. He isn't perhaps the best singer technically, but I love his voice:

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When conversing with someone who stutters, how much patience do you have ? On a scale of 1 - 10 10. I worked with someone who stuttered for a while and it didn't bother me, though I did feel bad once when he took a while to get a sentence out and I didn't catch a couple of words in the middle, and had no choice but to make him repeat it all again.....

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Would you work for an employer who tells you to change your name to a more English sounding name? (see link) Nope.

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What is name alexxander horse? If you mean Alexander the Great then it was Bucephalus.

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So, on Eastenders, Heather Trott & Darren Miller have a kid. Do you find the mechanics of this as baffling as I do? Worst. Storyline. Ever. Who writes their scripts nowadays, someone who was fired from Hollyoaks for not being good enough? It just seems to be a case of them thinking "ha, you didn't think of that one, did you?" No, we didn't think of that one because it is a shite idea. I thought Shirley was going to be the father.

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Should people of between 50 and 55 be forced to retire from their jobs in order to make way for younger workers? No. It's a good idea in theory, but it wouldn't work financially and some people don't want to retire early.

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Which of you does NOT have a tattoo? I don't. I wanted some when I was younger but at that time there were no tattooists where I lived, and I would have had to travel to get ones. I never got round to it, or forgot about it when I was in a city that had tattooists, and I'm now at an age where to get one would look like a mid-life crisis.

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What is a nickname that you wouldn't want pinned on your worst enemy? The worst nickname I've heard is a man in my town who has the nickname Sookie. He was given this nickname at school when it came out that his father had been sexually abusing him (sook means suck), and it has remained with him as an adult. Every time he is called this it must bring back memories, and he must also have awkward moments when strangers ask him why he is called this, so I...

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Can you drive a stick shift (manual transmission)? Yes, but I've never tried automatic.

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What rock song are you certain I never heard of? ------------------ Can b any type of rock, I just need some really underground stuff for the radio- Manchasm, by Future Of The Left.

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What do you have in that bag? Just limbs n' stuff.

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If there was a level "666" on AB, would you work THROUGH it. . . . .or. . . . . .stop at level 665???? 616 is the real number of the beast anyway, but yeah I would carry on.

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What things are impossible Tom Cruise's mission.

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Some friends of mine are starting a band. They're having trouble finding a name they reallly like. Any suggestions? Gypsum Fantastic.

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Would lions look better if their manes were styled? An afro or perm would be interesting, and may give lion's pride.

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Can Kittens form part of a healthy balanced diet? Eating pussy? you disgust me.

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What ability would you like to have in life - real or imaginary? The ability to play any musical instrument I chose.

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Lefties: Have you faced any difficulties being left-handed, and in the minority? (I think my baby is a leftie!) Not really, I actually liked being a bit different, and I found it gave me an advantage in many sports.

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If you were 80 years old and found out you have to either amputate you leg or die, which would you choose? I would choose death.

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What is the most beautiful word in the English Language? I like lullaby, chimes and tilth. I like "bereft".

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When it comes to a celebration, such as a birthday or christmas, do you prefer to give money or to buy a gift? It depends who I am buying for. I buy proper gifts for some people, but when my nieces and nephew entered their teens I began just giving them money as their tastes change so often at that age that it was easier, though I have a year-old nephew recently enter the family (a year ago, coincidently) so I buy him proper gifts as young children are easier to buy for.

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Are you afraid to fly or do you enjoy it? Neither, I don't enjoy travelling (the actual travelling itself i mean, I enjoy arriving at different destinations) but I'm not afraid of it either.

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What is the stupidest question anyone has ever asked on AB? I can't remember the exact wording, but I saw a question last week asking are uncircumcised men able to make women pregnant, or something similar.

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Have you ever seen football games played under heavy snow, either live or on TV? Yes, professionally only on TV but I've seen (and taken part in) a few on an amateur level.

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Where are the men out there who don't "oogle" attractive women? Going to gay nightclubs.

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Have you seen snow yet this year, 2009? Yes, in the early months, but none since the autumn began yet.

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What is really at the center of the Earth? A big scary demon who punishes British people who use American spelling of words such as centre.

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When you say or hear "illegal immigrant" what do you think of? People who are often lumped in with legal immigrants.

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I was just pleasuring myself and thinking of you. That's right: YOU. How does that make you feel? It's okay, I'm used to it.

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When is the last time you peed your bed in your sleep? Pre-school, probably three or four years old. I remember dreaming that I was at the toilet and woke up to find that sometimes, dreams DO come true.

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Why is there tough wiry hair in our bum/butt cheeks? It is nature's barbed wire, there to keep out predatory homosexuals.

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Is it ok to whack off at work ? i think my coworkers know i do it.they all look me funny every time i come out of the bathroom Yes, as long as the boss doesn't catch you.

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Why was King Kong so hot for Fay Wray, I mean look at the size difference. Gorilla penises are around one inch long (relative to body size, so Kong would be bigger), so maybe he thought he would finally be able to satisfy someone.

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Can you finish this sentence?: Nobody is messing with my ______________. Toot toot.

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I'm sweating like a _____. Rapist.

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My nephew's newborn baby boy is named Kestrel. Is it a unusual name? Do you know anybody named Kestrel? No, never heard of that as a name before, apart from the bird of course. As well as the name of the bird of prey it was also the name of a brand of cheap lager in my country....

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Do you know anyone who has the same name [first and last] as a famous person? What is their name? My mother's name is Engelbert Humperdink. I remember my friend when I was younger telling me though that when they were getting some work done on the family home (he still lived at home with his parents at this point) his mother came through to inform him that "here comes Jim Morrison with the doors". It was just the joiner at the door (his mother was entirely oblivious to the...

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If you changed your name, what would you change it to? Brad Sexington.

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What would you expect to find in Joan Rivers Vagina? A thrusting Neilychops?

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What is your opinion on days that the sun isn't shining? Good, I don't like sunny days.

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DID ANYONE EVER GET THE REMOTE TO THE TV STUCK IN THEIR ASS When I said the TV was shit nowadays I didn't mean it literally.

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Would you rather eat a bar of soap or french kiss ugly betty? Do I get to be drunk? if so, ugly Betty. Actually even sober it would probably still be the same answer.

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"I'll hit you/hit me [?] with my/your rhythm sticks" Is this a song? If yes, what are the lyrics? Ian Dury and the Blockheads:

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Have you ever seen the movie Van Helsing? omg!!! Yes, it is pretty bad.

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Whats your middle initial? I for Ian. My other initials are S and D....

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Have you seen the musical Cats? Nope.

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Did you sleep in the nude last night? Yes, just like every other night.

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Do you think Godzilla is angry, because he can`t get laid? I would imagine that if Godzilla wants to get laid, Godzilla WILL get laid, though the unfortunate recipient might have to sellotape herself together again afterwards, if she doesn't want her womb to fall out of her on to the floor next time she's in Tescos.

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I want to hold a street party, when Margaret Thatcher dies. Would you like to come? Okay, since you're resorting to answering your own questions I'll come, and I'll bring a gun just to be absolutely sure the job is finished.

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If you could be an anti-hero...what would your name be? Hurty MacStabbyface.

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What is God likely do at Christxmas? Get drunk and fart a lot, with all the whisky and cake he gets left out for him.

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What famous people came from where you live? Kevin McKidd, star of HBO series Rome, the films Trainspotting and Dog Soldiers and various other things.

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Would you eat Haggis? (sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately an hour.) Surprisingly, yes I have, and I'm not really a fan. I can eat it, but there are many other things I would prefer if given the choice.

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Should I join the Navy even when my family doesn't want me to? Yes, do what YOU want to do. You are the one who is going to have to live your life, not them, and if you are not doing what you want to do it might be a long, unhappy, unfulfilled life.

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If you had a slave, what would you use him/her for? All the boring housework, gardening, cooking etc. plus she would be the other person in most of my sexual fantasies. That's IF I had one, in reality I wouldn't have a slave.

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Would you finish somebody else's drink (out of there glass etc )? Yes, depending on who it is.

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Timothy Treadwell, eco warrior or misguided simpleton? Misguided, hilarious, simpleton.

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? That would be an ecumenical matter.

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Does anyone truthfully enjoy the horror that is a Hawaiian Pizza. I think pineapple on pizza is a big bag of wrong. Occasionally a bit of topping I didn't order will appear on a pizza I ordered which has presumably fell into the wrong topping tray, and this is what a Hawaiian pizza is like to me; it seems like the pineapple has been accidently dropped on to the pizza so they decided to try and pretend that it was done on purpose.

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Your worst enemy, someone you despise for good reasons, has crashed and you're the first person there. Do you still help, do you put the past behind you and be the good person? Or do you look the other way? I walk on.

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Should a curfew be placed on adolescent boys? No, I wouldn't have been happy about that when I was one, and probably would have caused more trouble because of it.

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Which is cuter, a puppy or a bear? If they're standing right in front of me I'll say the bear.

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Who invented history? Simon Schama, to pick up chicks.

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Brother, where art thou? In Fargo.

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I'm looking for the full lyrics to the Irish drinking song that goes, "This old man, he played one; He played knick-knack with my gun." I've been told that it's pretty funny. Do you have a link for it? It was always just a children's song to us (though our parents WERE usually trying to get us drunk at the time they sang it to us), and the lyrics we sang were the same as the ones in the link from Brian I.

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Did you ever really think, even for just a moment, that Spongebob Squarepants was a documentary? Just say no kids.

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Are all men bi No.

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Do you believe that the world is going to end in 2012? :p Yes, at quarter past two.

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Girl says: Your penis is small. Boy says: Yah, well you have a pussy like a_________? Sport stadium's dressing room, many football teams have entered there.

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What is the population of America? I think it is around 300 million, if by America you mean the USA, but someone else will hopefully be able to give you an exact number. I read it recently but with my rubbish memory I have forgotten it again, but it was something like 307 million.

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Can you take a shower in three minutes? Probably, if I'm in a hurry, but I find that having a quick shower isn't the problem, it is trying to dry yourself off properly afterwards under a time limit.

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What's up with all the "Imagine" worship? John Lennon has written far better, more intelligent songs. I've never really been a fan of his solo stuff, and I was given a best of John Lennon CD many years ago at Christmas and the only two songs I generally listen to on it are Imagine and Working Class Hero, so for me personally these are his best two (solo) songs, out of the stuff I've heard. I know best ofs don't always actually have the best of someone's output and I'm...

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Ladies how many pairs of shoes have you got? One pair of shoes, one pair of trainers, one pair which I'm not really sure whether they would be classed as trainers or shoes as they are sort of the love-child of the two, plus an old pair of trainers which are only used for jogging and look very attractive, as I cut my foot out running and by the time I got home one trainer was soaked in blood and it never fully washed out, so one is...

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What can i do when my sister makes me so angry that i just want to hit her? If you have somewhere to put it, get a punchbag and take it out on that.

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Where you live do you get snow in late October? Not always, but we can do.

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Does Selma Hayek have a good body? Oooooh yeeees. Her entrance in From Dusk Til Dawn is one of the sexiest scenes in film, to my mind.

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How would you feel if Patrick Swayze`s ghost launched a nuclear attack on Walt Disney`s cryogenicly frozen head? Turned on.

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Do you talk with your hands? Do you think everyone does or are there people who absolutely do NOT speak using their hands. No, my mouth. If you need any more help with understanding how the body works, feel free to ask. Truthfully though, yes I do.

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I'm out of here for good. Can you guess why? Taxi finally turned up?

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You've met someone whom you really like a lot...either best friend material or possible romantic relationship ahead. Then you meet the family and dislike everyone of them. Now what? This isn't quite what you're asking, but along similar lines. I was at a friend's wedding a few months ago, and my sister and her husband were also there. Afterwards we went up the High Street and met a couple of their friends, and a few days later my sister told me that her friend had been talking about setting me up with another of their friends as she thought we would be a...

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CAN A HUG GIVE YOU A BONER Yes, not from Dad though.

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Who would win in a fist fight: You or me? As you are a female called Munchkin you sound far too sweet to ever lay a hand on, being that I'm male, so you by default.

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What if they made a treatment where they could do surgery on your brain and you become really smart would you do it? I'd just be happy if it could restore my former intelligence.

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Did you ever wear anything in the past that you are ashamed to admit to now? I was a big fan of an LA band called Suicidal Tendencies as a young teen, and they wore bandannas low over their eyes so my friends and I did the same for a while, which looking back looked ridiculous, and I remember passing a mother and child and hearing the child ask his mother why can't that man see?

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What is your opinion on the show "Hells Kitchen" and the host? I don't watch the show because he is an arse.

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UK BNP political party: For or Against? Against.

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When you receive a wrong number call, how do you respond to the caller? If someone calls for "Myrtle," for example, I usually say something like, "Myrtle? You mean you don't know about her? She died this morning. The police think it was murder." I saw the comedian Sean Locke on a panel show recently talking about this, and he says that if he gets a wrong number asking "can I talk to Mary please?" instead of saying sorry, wrong number he says "Yes, I'll just get her", then holds the phone slightly away from his face and shouts in an angry voice: "Mary! get your arse down here, NOW! there's someone on...

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Who are the most annoying people of 2009? Katie "I'm controversial me" Perry would be up there, though the other two answers you have received so far are equally valid in my eyes.

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What you think about Dexter tv show. this is my favorite tv show. Did you also like this show. I think it's great, one of, or THE best show I'm watching at the moment.

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What is the MOST UNFUNNY movie you ever seen? I can't remember which one it was, but I was looking after my nieces and nephew a while ago and they watched Date Movie 3 or 4, or it may have been Scary Movie 3 or 4 (they're all interchangeable to me), and my eyes and ears still aren't talking to me for putting them through that.

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How long do you plan to live for? As The Who said: "hope I die before I get old".

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Have you ever set fire to the farts of someone famous? Only if appearing on You Tube is considered famous.

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Brits - Did you watch QuestionTime last night? If so... what did you make of Griffin's appearance? I was surprised, as despite looking like an odious, ranting oaf whenever you see him in photos, in past TV interviews I've seen of him he has actually come across as an intelligent interviewee, and so I was worried that the appearance might back-fire a bit (like Le Pen in France) and increase his popularity. Instead he came across badly, thankfully, though as others have remarked it was...

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Where is the weirdest place you have ever pooped? In someone's kettle, as a young boy.

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Have you watched the movie "What Women Want"? Would anyone on AB like to have the ability of reading the mind of the opposite sex? Of course, it would save a hell of a lot of time trying to figure out whether they were interested or not.

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Isn't it disrespectful to refer to ladies as bitches? I may refer to a specific woman as a bitch if I have a problem with her, just as I may refer to a specific man as a dick or whatever, but I never refer to women in general as bitches.

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What term do you use for "throw up"? I'm partial to "barf". Hurl, spew, boak, or throw up.

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Do you believe something really bad is gonna happen in the year 2012 like some people believe? Yes, absolutely true.

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Are men or women better at fighting? Physically men, verbally it is probably down to the individual, I don't think either sex is generally better.

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Kylie or Dannii? Kylie.

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Did you get you flu shot yet? No, never do.

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Where are you most likely to find trouble in your local area? The high street on Saturday night.

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If the hare and the tortoise were having a race, who would you bet on? The hare, obviously. I live in the real world, not stories....

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Anyone ken of a good site to buy a prom dress? (UK stores preferably and reasonable prices - £100 is prob the max budget) I don't, but I just wanted to say that seeing the word "ken" in a sentence about prom dresses amused me greatly.....

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What's more shocking - that George Carlin was the narrator for Thomas The Tank Engine, or that sex therapist / radio host Ruth Westheimer was a voice on the kids' show Between The Lions, of a therapist for people with a fear of long words? You think that's weird, Ringo Starr of The Beatles narrated Thomas The Tank Engine in the UK....

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Who was the female singer who sang the original song "loving you" is easy cos your beautiful..................................? Minnie Riperton.

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Who would make a good guest presenter on Have I Got News For You? I thought Rhod Gilbert was good as guest presenter on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, so perhaps they could give him a go.

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What is the first thing you think of when i say vampire? Overkill, every second book or film seems to be about them at the moment.

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How many of you lovely people would like to have "My Way" played at your funeral? The Sid Vicious (no relation) version perhaps, just to annoy the older mourners, but otherwise not for me.

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What is or was your least favorite subject in highschool? French, purely because I hated the teacher.

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Men have you ever worn pantyhose to keep warm? I haven't, but I have a friend who a few years ago went for a game of indoor football on Friday after work with his workmates, and only when he pulled down his jeans to change in front of everyone else did he remember that he was wearing a pair of his girlfriend's tights underneath to keep warm working outside in the winter.....

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Are you where you want to be? Not at all.

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What do you associate with Manchester, UK? (the city, not the town) Some great music (I'm listening to Happy Mondays as I write).

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Do you think it should be considered child abuse if the child has become morbidly obese? (I'm talking like four hundred, five hundred pounds) Yes. Many children are a bit chubby and there's nothing wrong with a child being a bit overweight, but unless there is a specific medical problem causing them to be obese then you are helping to give your child present or future health problems, and helping to possibly shorten their life significantly.

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Have you ever wanted to kill someone? Yes, I assumed that most people did.

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UK members : how do you verbalize today's date ? I say October 20th 2009 and you say __? I know you write the numerical date differently then I do but I don't know if the spoken date is different. 20th of October, 2009, 20/10/2009.

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Dose anyone else apart from me have a micro penis? Napoleon had one so you're in good company....

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How would you react as my next door neighbor after discovering that an assortment of drugs were openly offered at the well-organized "adult-only" parties I frequently hosted which never bothered you? As long as it didn't cause any problems to my own home then I wouldn't care.

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What kind of a first impression do you think you make? It seems to vary, and also depends on the situation you're meeting me in, but generally quiet and serious.

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Do beautiful people only date beautiful people? No, but the odds ARE higher.

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How would I go about getting myself some `Ho`s` Try the tools section of your local garden centre.

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I can servive with food but water will kill me. waht am i? A Frenchman?

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Which actress has the most interesting breasts? That large lady from Fight Club had a nice set, can't remember her name, Miss Loaf or something.

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If you snort viagra does it work faster? Only on dick heads.

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Two songs refer tou the dance'fandango' can you tell me what they are? Bohemian Rhapsody and Whiter Shade Of Pale.

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Have you heard that, scientifically speaking, for every 100 swear words spoken or typed, a puppy dies? So let’s keep it clean, ok, people? I hate puppies.

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I want to buy ipone That's nice dear.

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Im still me right? No, you are you, I'M me.

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How do you tell the difference between a grandfather and a grandmother clock? this is a serious question. I don't actually know for certain, so someone else will hopefully be able to give you a better answer but I alwaqys thought that a Grandfather clock was much bigger and free-standing, whereas a Grandmother clock was smaller and could fit on a mantlepiece or table or similar.

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Why is it that people say that Americans have accents yet when a lot of foreign people sing, they lose their accent and sound American? Doesn't that mean that we really don't have an accent? I think that it is a bit of a myth that people sing in an American accent, I think that most people (though not all) lose their accent when they sing and have a neutral accent, but Americans do have accents, you just maybe have to be an outsider to hear them.

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Ok, this is bad. Would you EVER get a hair cut like this? So he wanted a haircut in memory of his birth, what's wrong with that? it is a bit like wearing a t-shirt saying "ooh, I'm wacky me" on it.

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If you can freeze your age, what age do you want to be at all time? Twenty nine, that was my peak; it's all downhill after that.

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Is there any of your friend who is celebrating birthday on 25th of december? I know a couple of people who celebrate their birthday on the 24th, but no-one who has it on Christmas day.

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Guys- does it change your opinion on a girl if she wears glasses? I like women in glasses, I think it is sexy.

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Is not the stomach of non-veg eaters a grave-yard of animals? Nah, most graveyards contain skeletons and I tend to pass on eating the bones myself, and there is a new invention just out called defecation, which means that those who wish to visit the animal's grave can bring their flowers to the toilet rather than to my stomach. Might want to give it five minutes though.

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If you started your very own Fight Club, what would rule #3 be? (Given the obvious that the first two rules is you do not talk about Fight Club) No hitting in the balls. No eye-gouging. No face-sitting.

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Name a fat person. Okay then, I name him George.

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It's colder than a ________________? Witches tit.

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MEN:Is it okay if I give you a drive by pinch on the butt? Yes you can, though it does annoy me a bit when women do this and then hide in the crowd, if you're going to pinch it let me see who you are.

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3 words to describe the X factor? Televised freak show.

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Do you think it is unfair that the retirement age for women is being raised in order to match mens retirement age? If so, why? It should be equal, especially as women live longer than men anyway. In fact if anything they should have to work for longer than men.

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In your home right now are you using heat, air conditioner, or nothing at all? Nothing at the moment, but my heating was on for a while earlier.

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Do you agree that this is the most annoying sound & the ugliest person ever? See video link.=D Someone on this site uses that as their avatar, so that might be what they actually look like, and now you are offending them......

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Why do some of you dont use your photo for your avatar? I also don't use my photo and i don't know why?Do you have any reason? I don't have any photos of me stored in my computer as I don't take many photos, and if I do then I'm holding the camera and so I am in very little of my photos anyway.

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A colleague of mine has been signed off sick with depression for the last 3 months and has just been signed off for a further 2 weeks. I have pictures of her out drinking on Christmas Eve and have been put on Facebook. Can my company take any action? Just because she could face going out once for a few hours, to probably help take her mind off her depression temporarily, this doesn't mean that she is now able to face working five, six days a week every week again.

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What's a word you often come across either hand written, print, or web, that someone else has misspelled? I see genius spelt as genious on the internet a lot.

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True or False, you have enough snow on the ground now to make a snowman? False, there hasn't been any snow here yet, and in fact this week has been relatively sunny.

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"Caucasian" includes folks from India, Iran, Turkey, and more very dark skinned peoples. However, "Caucasian" is usually used interchangeably with "white." I think that this sort of classification is outdated. What is your opinion of this? I agree, which is why I always say that I'm white if asked, not Caucasian. I know white is not strictly correct either but I feel it is more accurate than Caucasian to describe myself.

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Who is Paul McCartney singingin' about when he says, "Mother Mary" Who is mother Mary? the song is "Let it be". His own mother, who died when he was quite young.

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What's the worse thing that ever happened to you when you were drunk? I got beaten up once when I was far too drunk to protect myself.

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Do you think the BNP's Nick Griffin should be allowed on next weeks Questiontime on BBC1? Yes I do, in the hope that we give him enough rope and he'll hang himself.

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Should we go to a bar and drink away our sorrows? Yes, vodka cures all.

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If you edited out all the bad parts in the movie of your life, how long would the final film be? It would fit in the ad- break of another movie when it is shown on TV.

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Based on what you "know" of me so far, which English town/burb/dungeon/estate do you think I'd be most comfortable in? :) You can go to Hull for all I care.....

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Do you find the following joke offensive? An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. The boss asks, ‘Can you brew tea?’ Yes, he says. The boss then asks, ‘Can you drive a fork-lift?’ ‘Why, how big is the tea-pot?’ I think a lot depends on who is telling the joke. I don't think that there's anything wrong with a bit of tongue-in-cheek banter, and jokes like this which play around with jokey stereotypes are often okay as they are just meant in jest, but they are sometimes told by people who believe in the stereotypes they are portraying, and are telling these jokes to deliberately insult and...

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When you see an overweight person, do you automatically assume that he/she overeats? What about health problems? Yes, because usually that is indeed the case.

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Can I walk on your grass? Is that a euphemism? either way the answer is probably yeah, go on.

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How many pumpkins did you buy this year? None, I've never bought a pumpkin.

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Best television series ever? The Sopranos.

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Open the winda. Eat your potatas. Yella paint. Do you know anyone that speaks like this? Yes, almost. We say winda and yella in my area (North-East of Scotland), but not potata.

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Is it against the law to wear a thong to a cathedral? In my country a law was introduced where it is now against the law for me personally NOT to wear a thong when I go to a cathedral, or any place of worship.

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Do you ever dream of being a millionaire? Of course.

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How would you react if you were told you have less then a year to live? Gotta go sometime.

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A british study says less than one-third of men and two-thirds of women wash their hands with soap after going to the toilet. So do you wash your hands after going to the toilet? Always, even on a night out, no matter how drunk I may be I always wash my hands properly after going to the toilet.

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