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Can dignity be purchased by the morally bankrupt? No, of course not. http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2862979

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What is NTFS file system? NTFS is Microsoft's primary "modern" way of formatting disks. It's what you get by default in Windows XP, Vista, and their server products. It's primary distinguishing features relative to older Microsoft systems (FAT and FAT32) are that files can be secured (access control) and it supports much larger hard drives. It was originally introduced in the...

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Does freedom of speech still exist in the US? Yes, it does. When was the last time someone you know was arrested for criticizing the government? Of course, there are serious concerns. I don't know anybody who likes the Patriot act, but it's mainly about invasions of privacy, not freedom of speech. Every day, people post all sorts of harsh opinions here on AB that are critical of the government. To my knowledge, nobody...

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Do you "live just for today" or is your life well planned out? Well ideally, I do both. But it's hard to do either one well! There's a popular misconception that these ideas are incompatible, they are not. If you're planning your life well, you're doing the best you can with what you know NOW, and that includes appropriately factoring in whatever uncertainty there is about the future NOW. If you're living for today, you...

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Can you file bankruptcy on just 2 credit cards if the rest are all paid in full, just open accounts? (USA) As I understand it (I'm not an attorney), the bankruptcy only affects those you owe money to -- I don't think the court forces all of your credit accounts to be closed. However, the BK will show up on your credit report and that may well affect how those banks treat your account. The right way to answer this is to contact an attorney who deals in bankruptcies in your area.

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I see something unwise, and even dangerous, to use prisoners as commodities and the prison system as a profitable enterprise. Do you see the same thing I see? Lots of things have risks. It's a matter of balancing competing concerns... it's expensive to maintain and operate prison systems, and prisoners who are idle may well be likely to get into more trouble than those who are working. In addition, we generally believe that work is healthy and constructive of character. On the "con" side (to throw in a pun), clearly a...

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If "Answerbag" were a person, what would his/her IQ be? It would vary from about 80 to well over 135, depending on which particular posting you read. I imagine the average is right about average for humans.

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Ever had that "not so fresh " feeling? Yeah, once: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/362810

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Boyfriends tells me many horrible things. we both live together! tells me he doesn't need me, his life was good before he met me, fine after. ok says in mellow voice to get out of his house. i don't leave, i feel i'll regret that if i do. Maybe you will regret it, but you owe it to yourself to get out. If you don't stand up for your own value in the face of that kind of attitude by your partner, you're likely to be a victim for a long time to come. I suggest you stay out of relationships for a while: get on your own two feet, resolve your self-esteem issues, develop some independence. You do not need a male to...

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What is the funniest thing you can imagine Hillary Clinton wearing? (This is not meant to offend, nor is it even particularly political. I just think it's funny) All T-shirts, of course... 1- "Monica Cleanup Crew" 2- "I already had the job, now I want the title" 3- "My VP candidates have all had gun safety training" 4- "Will invade small country for street cred"

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Would you forgive a boyfriend for cheating on your and expects you to be ok with it after he tells you? I have known my boyfriend has cheated on me but have done nothing about it. is something wrong with me? Well it's likely that you're weak in the self-confidence and "defending your boundaries" area. That doesn't mean there's anything *wrong* with you, but it probably does indicate that some changes might be in order. It's possible that your desire to be wanted or loved is so strong that it drowns out the little voice that says "I should not put up with...

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Does a magnet sitting still in a coil of wire generate electricity? No, the magnet has to be moving, and the coil of wire has to form a circuit (i.e. the ends have to be connected to something -- even themselves.) When a magnetic field *moves* relative to a conductor like wire, a voltage is generated. But if the magnet just sits there, nothing interesting happens.

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Does anyone know of any useful sites to study for a COBOL exam? The online study guide from Grauer is unavailable. No, actually. I've been a programmer for 25 years, and last I heard nobody was even studying COBOL anymore, let alone creating online trainings! But have you tried Google.com? It's a new way to find information, even works with ancient history :)

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Why dis we forget to congratulate WIDE AWAKE PHOENIX on become our newest MAESTRO? Because we were sleeping, of course! Congrats, WAP :)

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What really is a higher state of consciousness? Could it be an illusion? The mind is a complicated animal, capable of generating many different states of consciousness. Normally when we speak of a "higher" state of consciousness (note the vertical metaphor is somewhat subjective), we're talking about "more awareness than usual". This kind of consciousness is definitely not an illusion, and it's easy to illustrate that -- if...

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Does it seem the truth does not work sometimes at AB, it's not politically correct, and it can get you in trouble? Mostly when people complain that truth is getting them into trouble, what's really happening is that self-righteousness and 1-dimensional perspectives are simply triggering opposition on complex topics. Any N-dimensional problem, when reduced artificially to 1 dimension (i.e. "it's all common sense, dammit!") will produce N-1 opponents.

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The U.S. could be a net exporter of oil if not for stupid policies, it would create jobs, we would not be borrowing money from China, we would not be sending our money to countries who hate us, WTF? All forms of "us vs. them" thinking are rooted in the delusion that we are separate from them. There's only one type of human being, we're a single species. The Chinese are not fundamentally different from white heterosexual Americans, and neither are Muslims, or blacks, or Mexicans, or homosexuals, or any other form of "them". There's only US, and only...

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Wow!!!!!! BRIAN I is our Newest GURU.. Who would like to congratulate him for this accomplishment? Yalp. Brian's been around a long time, and he's a solid contributor. Two thumbs up!

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Is Global Warming the truth, or a big government scam to make money? Of course not. It's the consensus of thousands of scientists looking at an enormous mountain of data. There is also a significant "disinformation" campaign run by a relatively powerful and well-funded group of interests who have a lot at stake and are spreading misinformation to the effect that global warming either isn't happening, isn't due to human activities, or...

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Can i email the AB staff? admin@answerbag.com

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HOW CAN I MEET JACK NICOLSON? I SAW HIM IN 2004 IN VENICE AT THE FILM FESTIVAL. JUST LIKE ME HE WAS AN ORDINARY TOURIST... Work on your basketball skills and get hired by the Los Angeles Lakers. He sits on the front row of all home games, and once you're wearing the purple and gold he'll introduce himself.

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Idne has been nominated for Louisiana Technical College's Outstanding Graduate award, which is based on leadership, scholarship, service, and several years of hard work. This is LTC's highest honor. Will you join me in a big high five? Of course! Idne rocks, everybody on AB knows it, and now the LTC knows it too. Good of them to catch up :)

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Is it ethical to routinely check your spouse or s/o's internet history files? I don't know about ethics, I certainly wouldn't tolerate that from my S/O, and she wouldn't tolerate it from me. I consider that everyone needs some privacy, and having an intimate partnership makes that even more important, because trust and openness are dynamics that are challenging to balance when you're very close to someone else. I don't know her computer...

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Which is a fantastic country -UK or USA? I've spent some time in the UK, and a lot of time in the USA. My S/O is British, it's something we talk about a lot. - The UK is generally a more tolerant society: i.e. same-sex couples are granted legal status, there seems to be a lot less racial tension and xenophobia, etc. - The UK is MUCH more expensive to live in. Basically, almost everything costs about twice as much as...

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Why is Obama being held responsible for what his pastor said? Would you want to be held responsible for what someone else said? Nobody is holding Obama responsible for what his pastor said. The controversy is over Obama's apparent tolerance of his pastor's views... whether or not he should have spoken out, left the church, etc.

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Why are creationists opposed to evolutionary theory, when the vast majority of people who believe in evolution also believe in God, and the vast majority of people who believe in God also believe in evolution? Well I'm not sure that your assertion about the correlation between God and evolution beliefs is accurate. But, the reason creationists try to undermine evolution is simple: the Bible says the Earth was created in 6 days by God, including all the animals and people. That disagrees severely with evolution. So, one must conclude that one or both accounts are wrong. If evolution is...

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I would love to have a job as a foot slave, being forced to lick dirty bare feet, Where can i find a female to use me as a worthless dirty foot licking slave in Boca Raton FL. Sounds like you want the animal shelter: (613) 555-1402. Nearly any dog will tolerate your fetish. Just feed it well and don't get any weird ideas.

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Everyone has family secrets and tips to help us live our lifes more comfortable.Can you tell us one of yours?In our house we place laundry detergent between each tier of wood to keep the bugs IN the wood log till it is burnt.Whats your tip? We were always taught that when a family member is in jail, you should take them cigarettes even if they don't smoke... that way they can trade them for things they really need, like homemade knives.

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Look at your cell right now - what is the most recent inbox text? "no, he has a knife I think, but I can't hear wher"

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Which of the following adjectives fit your personality. Be honest. Frenzied, possessive, maniacal, melancholic, anxious, delusional, passionate lover, passionate hater, sexual, visionary, hallucinatory, fearful, phobic, addictive, self-starving, depressed None of the above... how about: arrogant, domineering, egotistical, conniving, and angry?

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How did your family get F@(%#D up? We think it started with my paternal grandparents: she was a very strict Baptist, grandpa was distant and preoccupied with making money. Grandma apparently failed to bond with my father, who grew up with a very rigid emotional range. Unable to find healthy ways of resolving his anger and anxiety, he found an inefficient outlet for it by abusing his wife and children. As one of the...

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Do girls usually get guys engagement rings also, or just wedding rings? if the guy asks the girl to marry him. It depends. One common approach is to buy a set -- the engagement ring has a matching wedding band (usually less fancy and expensive). He gives her the engagement ring, and then on the wedding day presents the band. The whole thing then often goes to a jeweler so they get soldered together into a single piece.

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Antigone Rising is a GURU. Would you like to congratulate her for her useful contributions? Given that she's committed badgicide at least once, it does seem ironic to be congratulating her for being a Guru. But the fact is she's been around a long time and does great stuff, so probably we should just congratulate her for being a helpful, informative bagger and a good person.

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Why dont you accept minors Answerbag's minimum age limit is 14. Someone who is 14 is a minor, so Answerbag does accept minors, just not those under 14. Of course, nobody can really prove your age when you sign up, so there's nothing to stop a person under 14 from creating an account and lying when checking the age box. Not that anybody would ever think of doing such a horrid thing!

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What is the name of the movie where a little boy told a bum he would give him 5 dollars if he'd let him throw rocks at him? "George Bush: the Early Years"

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My new friend "HanginJudge" is a MAESTRO. So are you ready to send your congratulations? Yeah, I'll sign that petition. I get a prize, too?

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Have you ever lost a portable gaming device? Yes, I had a nearly-new Playstation Portable (net weight: $200). I loaned it to a close friend who shall remain nameless (Brand X) on a train. She wanted to see what it was like... and somehow... it ended up in the pouch of the seat in front of her, and failed to follow us off the train. The blamestorm continues to this day, I believe I am winning. I was stuck on Daxter anyway.

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How many people have you met from AB in person? Who? Yes, about a dozen... but none as beautiful as Brand X!

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Whats the highest number a pencil can go to? As long as you gots paper, time, and commas... you just keep writing. Don't worry about running out of numbers.

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Evolutionist's say there is no God. So I ask them where is the missing link? If it can not be found, isn't evolutionisim kinda like a fable....? I'm not an atheist. But I must say, attitudes like this one do more to discredit religion than any army of scientists could do -- when the depth of ignorance of science is this severe, it gives the anti-religion camp enormous amounts of ammunition: "Look at these dunces, they don't know the first thing about science and then they stand up and shout about how it's all...

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My friend has a 1959 Les Paul, jr. electric guitar in mint condition. given to him on his 16th birthday, way back in the early 60's. now, its for sale. someone offered him $900 for it. seems a little low to me. any suggestions? Way too low. He should probably be trying to locate someone who deals in classic musical instruments to get it appraised. If nothing else, going on to eBay and trying to find similar items makes sense. Ask Darryl61, he makes guitars with his own hands. I bet he knows a lot about this.

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I"m married woman and i'm good looking,my husband is very handsome too,and i have problems with women all the time ,my neighboors ,my best friend or in his resturant the waitresses ,some times they keep staring at him or flerting with him behalf of me? The trick with these things is to get a clear head, free from prejudice and distortion. That can be pretty tricky, but it starts with awareness: - Do you have reasons to distrust him? Has he cheated or been excessively flirtatious in the past? - Do you have doubts about how much he loves you, or his commitment to you? - Do you have doubts about yourself, about your self-esteem? What...

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I am a female American citizen engadged to an Egyptian male. I am going to be going to Egypt soon and we want to get married.What is the process that we need to go through to be able to get married and have him come with me to the US ?how long of a wait? Note that it may be quite a bit quicker to get a fiance visa and have him come to the U.S. and get married here, instead of marrying him in Egypt and then seeking a spouse visa. Definitely do your homework on this, the consequences of small paperwork errors can be large delays.

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What html code do I use to link to a specific section of a page on my website? The referencing URL needs to specify the section name after a # sign, like this: <a href="somepage.html#basic_facts">Basic Facts</a> The referenced page needs an anchor tag with the corresponding name at the right point on the page, e.g.: <a name="basic_facts" />

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U a spaz? Yes, and I have cooties -- big ones. Better stay back.

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To celebrate that I am getting paid tomorrow, I have budgeted one gift for each of you. So, what do you want? I could really stand to get my dignity repaired. There's a shop on the corner, but they want $50k.

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Can human beings have more than one fate? There is no such thing as fate, except as a concept formed by the mind. So the mind can form many concepts, therefore it can have many fates -- they're just not objectively real.

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I am 35 and want to get married and have kids. My boyfriend wants to have kids but not get married. Says he will get married after the kids are born and that "marriage is just a piece of paper" This is very upsetting to me. Should I brea What do you want? If you want to be married, just put your foot down and say "I won't have children unless we're married. Period. End of discussion". What's all the thrashing-about for? Do you want children? Are you concerned about your biological clock ticking down perhaps? Are you concerned about being 35 and not being married, does that have some negative...

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What the hell ever happened to personal responsability? That's your job. What were you doing when it disappeared?

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Is fear the opposite of faith? No, knowledge is the opposite of faith. We have faith when we don't know -- we fill in the gaps in our knowledge by choosing to believe. This simply isn't necessary if you know. Of course, one could make the case that "filling in the gaps in knowledge" is a dangerous operation, also. Might be better to just admit that there's a gap in knowledge.

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What do you think is the acceptable age difference between 2 people dating or married? As long as they're both adults, it's their business. There is no objective / external measure of the limit here. What is acceptable to others is irrelevant.

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Why does it seem that 99% of the time people live in utter triviality? Banality seems to be the word of the day in the world. . . at least to me. Beware that ye not become what ye rail against. What's more banal than yet another holier-than-thou opinion about how ignorant "they" are?

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If you found out that a person you hated was jesus christ in disguise, what would you do? I'd ask him why he's hiding his candle under a bush.

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Whats the point of moving in together before marriage (besides testing it) if it's the same as being married? Living together is NOT the same as being married. People do it for a variety of reasons: some people want a "trial period" to see how they're likely to get along in close quarters for a long period, some people have a problem with marriage due to their prior experiences or conditioning, some people simply consider marriage to be "living together with a piece of...

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Why is there such scrutiny over everything that Miley Cyrus does? Can't anyone just give her some breathing room? Because she's held as a role model for young girls, that puts her in a big fishbowl with bright lights. Really, what we should be training children is to think for themselves, and be themselves... rather than encouraging them to be like a superstar or other "hero". Heroes always fail, as they say. But if you know who you are, you're never really lost.

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Fill in the blank with what would freak you out in such a scenario: your neighbor pounds on your door and anxiously asks for_________________. - An unused body bag - My chain saw - Any tranquilizers I'm not using right now. - All the letters Q and V in the house. - My used underwear - A reason to live - A way to remove pig's blood from the bedsheets

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My girlfriend lives in canada. she wants to move to the us. what does she need to do ? she wants to be able to work also ? what do we do? Like most modern, wealthy countries, the U.S. goes to great lengths to keep people from doing exactly that. If she wants to work here, she really needs to do one of two things: marry you, or have skills that are in very high demand. Basically, you choose a visa category and work on obtaining that type of visa. Here are the categories: http://tinyurl.com/ygr2z8 My guess is your...

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What complications can occur with a tongue piercing? Thumbtimeth it'th hart to thay thingth that haf thertain thoundth in them after.

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Who is the hottest person on AB in real life? Without a doubt, it's this chick: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/90926

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I dont believe in god anymore... is that bad? The best thing you can have in this arena is a "fresh mind" -- a mind which is open, alert, unbiased, and not stuck in any particular belief or viewpoint. That is stunningly hard to achieve, for a variety of reasons: habit, ego, fear of the unknown, an unwillingness to appear uncertain, etc. But those who achieve a true state of not knowing, even if only for a few minutes, are a...

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Do you know anyone that has gotten divorced more then 4 times? Yes. I had a girlfriend once, and her mother had been married 8 times (and divorced 8 times). Three of her marriages were to the same man. (I'm not sure if they bothered with vows the 3rd time or not...)

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Would you travel to let's say Long Beach, California to the Queen Mary for a Answerbag Party? Quite possibly. I went to the last Answerbag party in So. Cal.

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I may never get old, but I do get better with time, What am I? Youth.

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Biting or licking which do you prefer? Depends on the type of ice cream.

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How long do you think it will be before technology and market pressures collide and create a commercially available USB computer peripheral that can make cybersex even remotely comparable (physically) to the real deal? LOL. Lady Bytesalot 2.0, now with Cyberfeel! Fewer cables, more love. And an "emergency jaw release" lever with red label in 5 languages.

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Marmite................love it or hate it? Marmite is also known as Devil's Paste(tm) at my house. Brand X once invited me to try it. I was suspicious. "What's it taste like?", asked I. "It's savoury", she said. I put a little on a cracker and "savoured" it. 3 buckets of water and 15 minutes of spitting later, I felt that I could tolerate my mouth again. Even the sound of the...

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You borrow weapons from a sane friend. Then your friend becomes insane from the fact that his girl is cheating on him and asks for his weapons back. Do you give him the weapons? Does that make you moral or immoral? No, I keep the weapons and perhaps try to arrange shelter or escape for the girlfriend and therapy for my friend. Of course, if he's uncooperative I build a dungeon in my basement and lock him up, feeding him only french fries and Barry Manilow CDs until he shapes up. I'm not nuts.

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What is your favorite Bond movie song? Live and Let Die. Any time Paul decides to stay away from silly love songs, I'm happy to hang out and appreciate his considerable composing and performing prowess.

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When my husband is around his mother and rest of his family, he treats me kind of cold and aloof and when he talks to me, he's kind of cocky. When we're home, he's very loving and not mean anymore. I've told him about it and he denies it. What do I do? Sounds like time to make a scene! Next time you're with the family, and he's doing his thing, push back: challenge his behavior, right there in front of the family. Be fair, though -- you want to have the moral high ground. So, for example, if he sends a condescending comment your way, you might respond with "That was rather condescending. I would appreciate it if you...

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Is anyone else tired of hearing and seeing donnie and marie osmend? Well... um.... since I haven't seen them in over 20 years, I guess I'm kinda over it.

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Why is everyone saying I'm paranoid? Why? It's part of their plot to make you crazy.

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What songs reflect the ideals and key points of transcendentalism? Winner "Strangest Homework Question of Dec. 2007"

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I don't live in the US, so the only thing i know about the president are that his name are George Walker Bush. Do you like him? if you don't like him, why? I like him more as a cashier than as a President... he's friendly, helpful, sometimes funny. I'd like to get my fries from someone like that, I think.

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What is a 120dB isolation 4 way splitter and what does isolation mean? It means that on the output lines, there is a high degree of isolation against backfed signals... i.e. isolation is the degree to which signals generated by those devices are blocked from being propagated back to other devices. 120 db is a lot of isolation.

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Does anyone know if home shopping channels accept prepaid credit cards such as QVC? Yes, they don't know whether it's prepaid or not. If it is issued with the logo of one of the major credit card companies (Visa, Mastercard, Discover, etc.) it will work just fine for QVC.

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How do i create a ".bat" document that you cannot exit out of by clicking the "X" in the upper right corner of the document? You can't. Batch files (.bat) are executed by the command interpreter (cmd.exe), which displays in a standard console window.

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Why didnt god give us powers? He did: he gave us the power to observe how life works and choose our actions. You don't get more powerful than that.

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My girlfriend told me of a time in her past when a guy she liked took her to a room and took off both thier clothes, but she said nothing happend except they kissed even though he had a g/f already that she didnt know about, please give me some advice I don't understand, why do YOU need advice about this? Why does anybody need advice about this? What is the problem you're trying to solve?

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If a boy gives me a lot of attention, I feel like he is isn't giving me room to breathe. Does that make me weird? Does that mean I don't love the guy? Is it true what they're saying? I'm pretty sure it doesn't and isn't, but I'm just making sure. What you're complaining about is probably "clinging" -- yes, it's nice to have attention, but you probably sense that he's not quite comfortable with himself, and is somehow seeking validation from you. That's going to make most people uncomfortable. It doesn't mean you don't love him... if this guess is correct it means he needs to do some growing...

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How do I make a fund raiser to help critically injured wife? I have no clue where to start but I need to raise money to help her. The person that hit her has insurance but they are not helping. PLEASE give me ideas on how to raise money for her. If they have insurance, why isn't your LAWYER helping? Insurance companies don't get to just say "sorry, we won't help"... they're subject to laws and liability -- in other words, they can be sued. So step one is to get an attorney. As for raising money, publicity is the whole deal: the more people know about your situation, the easier it is to raise money....

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HOW DO U PUT WINDOWS XP IN YOUR PSP? That is not possible.

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Computer language c++ Yes, it is.

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What is the basic unit of society? There is no basic unit of society... society is an abstraction. It's easier to illustrate the principle with another abstraction... "what is the basic unit of government?". Government is a big bucket that contains all sorts of things, but if you are an American, and you go to Washington with the intent to "change the government", you'll find a big problem:...

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What positive changes would you like to make in your life? I'm pretty much always working on making the same change: "waking up". My most important goal is to live consciously... to make choices with full awareness each day, rather than to be some degree of auto-zombie, simply repeating the automated behavior of the past. There's two parts of zombieness, and they're related: beliefs and conditioning. Conditioning is all...

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Actually saw this one elsewhere, but wanted AB thoughts! Give me some songs that would be in poor taste with subject matter. (ie: "Happy Days are Here Again" with depression or "You will Always be a Part of Me" with cannibalism) 1- "I can't get no satisfaction" played on the PA of the brothel. 2- "Frankenstein" on the muzak at the plastic surgeon's lobby 3- "It's a wonderful world" while the refugees are queued up for tiny rations of stale bread 4- "Short People" at the National Dwarf Association conference

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Why am i so lonely? Because you think you're separate from others. That belief will do it every time.

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I'm terrified of taking speech, is there a speech course I can take online? LOL. No, that rather defeats the whole purpose, don't you think!? The idea is to get up in front of PEOPLE and do your thing. However, if it helps at all, I can assure you that speech class is entirely survivable. Most people are scared to death, and it shows. If you're scared to death, you'll be in good company. Statistically, less than 0.00% of students die from...

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Same thing as before, different question. 2) You order 2 tacos and 3 burritos and a friend of yours orders 3 tacos and 5 burriots. Your bill is 7.80 and your friends is 12.70. How much is each taco and burrito? Each taco is about 300 calories, each burrito 500. Translation: do your own homework.

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Have you ever told all of AB who you are in real life, or are you keeping it a well-guarded secret? When I started on AB, I was very open, and shared a lot of my personal life with quite a few people. It was very nice for a while... until a few of them decided they were qualified to judge my personal life. Lets just say that provoked some disagreements. Now I'm a bit more reserved. I'm still fairly open, but I keep a closer eye on personal information and I'm more...

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How can I find people that are on that i can comment back and forth with? That's all there is here... people commenting back and forth. Dive right in! Of course, it helps if you have something to say, but if you don't you'll find that's not essential anyway! :)

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Why is having more than one wife/husband illegal in the US? whats the reasoning the government gives gives for this? there is seperation of church and state so it can't be a religious thing... I would say it's mostly a matter of cultural conditioning. A large part of our cultural conditioning IS connected with religion, specifically the Christian tradition, where polygamy is generally vilified. Even if you take away the Christianity, the habits of thinking, the entrenched viewpoint... remains. It's sort of like when you move a lamp from one table to the next, it can be...

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Will you be watching the FootBall draft Saturday, and who would like to see your team pick? Do you mean the oblong ball that doesn't bounce straight, or the round ball that almost never goes into the net?

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What do you think about the t-shirt that says: "Bush lied". Not enough spunk for me, really... how about: 1- "49.9% Bush, 50.1% Sane. It's all we asked" 2- "I can't say 'newculer' either, but I'm not holding the button". 3- "It's not whether your mission is accomplished, it's whether they'll let you go home" 4- "I'm already against the next war" 5-...

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I have a strong suspicion that my father is gay, I from the bottom of my heart want to be accepting. However, he has not come out of the closet. How can I accept it if he is not honest with me? You can start by accepting that you're not sure, then accept that he's not ready to come out. This is his choice, he doesn't owe anybody an explanation or description of his sex life. This is his business, in other words. Don't ask, respect his boundaries. If he wants to tell you, that's entirely up to him. If he NEVER tells you, that's entirely up to him.

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Why did americans favor isolationism? Everybody favors isolationism! Do you think there's any close-knit group that really WANTS to think they can gain anything by engaging with others, by learning from others, by including others? No, isolation is the automatic knee-jerk response of any group that defines it's identity around fixed totems. "This is who we are" is always begging to be strengthened by...

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What kind of torture would you rather have Chinese water torture or paper cut torture? I would prefer "Weekend on the beach with my love and a case of beer torture". I promise to talk.

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I let my Friends Borrow my laptop in school today at lunch because one of them wanted to check their email. All my Photos were deleted Pictures of me, Family, Chase, everything. I don't know who did it but i am really mad and upset. What would you do? Step 1: stop using the computer. Step 2: get a file undelete utility and recover as much as you can. Here's one, there are many: http://www.winundelete.com/?rid=google&kid=wu0406 Step 3: Follow Darryl's advice -- get new friends.

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Do you believe that our government has the responsibility to ensure that all Americans are covered by a national health care program and guaranteed a high standard of living? The government does not have either responsibility, but it does have an OPPORTUNITY to help with the problem of health care. There are lots of things that government does which aren't in it's (fairly minimal) list of responsibilities. Building roads is an example: there's nothing in the constitution which says the Federal government needs to build an interstate highway...

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I am going to see my son (15) who was just arrested 4 drugs in school, he told my bro-in-law that "he doesn't want anyone yelling @ him. How should I approach him? he's been in there for 16 days & the point where I would yell is past me. It doesn't sound like yelling or being judgmental is going to be helpful in this case. There's a way to be with someone who has made mistakes, which is sort of a middle-ground... something like "I care about you. You're making choices that have serious consequences, but I recognize that some lessons have to be taught by life itself rather than by me." ... in other...

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How do you apply cement board to a bathroom wall and what tools do you use? It's called "backer board" in my neighborhood... used as a substrate for tile. The main job is to get it SOLID -- you want as little movement as possible. So how you mount it is going to depend on your situation, but screws into the studs are probably the most reliable and sturdy. Bear in mind that tile is heavy, and any movement in the backer board will put strain on the...

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What do you look like? At the Tower of London...

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Is a civil war between the "Right" and the "Left" a possibility in America? How possible? No, I don't think so. Yes, people get rigid, angry, extremist, and rude. Yes, each side fails to listen to the other, and each side gets too wedded to it's fixed interpretation. But as long as bellies are full on all sides, I don't see that turning into armed conflict. Those with clear heads may not be able to bring the conversation back to rationality, but they do act as...

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If Sir David Attenborough is an Atheist(and Auzziegob hopes he is)then how come David calls miniature frogs a miracle of nature? This is a very disappointing defect in the great mans thinking!.we all know these so called "miracles" are a ficticious scam! I expect he's speaking aesthetically, rather than literally... it's perfectly OK to appreciate the "miraculous" and be an atheist at the same time, if you allow the definition of the word to include anything that is spectacularly intricate, wonderful, elaborate, etc. Kobe Bryant makes some miraculous plays. That doesn't mean people really think God lifted the ball...

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Do you accept what your government tells you is true? Well of course it depends on who is speak and what they're saying. The "government" is an abstraction, there's no such entity. Which agency? Which person within the agency? Are they speaking for their agency or for themselves? What is the context for their statement? Anyone who just blindly accepts anything that comes out of the mouth of a civil servant is...

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Do most ppl on this site ignore questions by anonymous users? esp. if they're conversational rather than eduacational?? It sure seems that way.... I don't ignore them, but if there's a judgment call to make sometimes I will put less effort into those questions, simply because in my experience the Anonymous users rarely come back to acknowledge the answer -- so it's hard to know if they've even seen it. People drop in to the site, ask a question, but have no relationships here so they go off and never come back to read...

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Would you like to help me congratulate BigDaddyBS on his fine accomplishment...becoming a Maestro!? We should congratulate ourselves on being lucky enough to have his company!

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What does the saying ," You are like a bull at a china shop,what you dont break you crap on"mean? Imagine a bull in a china shop... the bull is big and clumsy, and has no appreciation for the delicacy or value of the china. So the bull walks around and breaks things without even knowing it, and relieves himself at will. It's saying "you are unaware of the consequences of your actions, and unappreciative of the situation you're in"

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Would you be willing to give up your current AB account and start all over? What, again!? I can barely keep track of the current one.

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Have you ever built a robot? Well, I was part of a team that developed a couple of chemical-processing robots for a chemistry instrumentation company. None of them looked like R2D2, they had laboratory applications.

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Is there a nice way of calling someone a moron? 1- "I think you have an excellent chance of becoming mentally competent" 2- "No, you're not dumb... you just need extra time to grow into your skull size" 3- "I really like the way you've gotten up to two-syllable words. It makes you seem really smart" 4- "Thank you for sharing that thought, it's like letting the boy with one arm get...

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WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE A BETTER U.S. PRESIDENT BUSH, HITLER, SADAM, OR OSAMA? Gosh, you sure know how to stack the deck! :) Of course Bush is less evil than the others, it's a matter of degree.

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May i have an Updated Image of you? I am doing a Special Project for AB and i think you all will like it when i am done. That would be here: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/134043

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We made a mistake by allowing my father to put a second morgtage on the house so we dont lose our house.nowmy husband and i want to sell becuase we are stil struggling financially and my father wont take it off we owe him more then the bank what should do Please stop posting multiple copies of this question. Give it some time for people to answer, you're taking over the main page of the web site.

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What is the most positive thing you can say that you have had happen from participating on Answerbag? Without a doubt, it was meeting and falling in love with Brand X.

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I have to give a presentation at my new job tomorrow. I've never done this before and I hate talking in front of ppl. I'm having a nervous breakdown, any suggestions? Help! You have to allow yourself to be nervous. It's like driving on ice... if you resist the skid, you spin out of control... but if you turn INTO the skid, you can recover your ability to steer. Almost everyone is nervous about public speaking. The good public speakers don't get rid of it, they learn to "ride" it ... to transform it into enthusiasm and passion for their...

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Do they have broadband in hell? Yes, but they filter out all the good stuff, leaving nothing but the spam.

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Please do not get mad at me for asking. Can i ship a dog in a kennel by UPS or FedEx or anything like that? I am trying to find the cheapest way to send the Puppy down to florida with me this summer instead of paying $135 to take him with me on the plane. Google "Pet courier": there are services which do this. But I doubt you're going to beat $135. Definitely do not try to ship your dog like a package. That is very dangerous. They THROW those packages.

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Are you afraid of Oprah? I think I can take her in a one-on-one, but if she brings in all her guests and camera crew I'm probably overmatched.

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The new Dollar coins do not have, "In God We Trust" on the faces of the coin as it has always been. What are your thoughts on this?( it will return to the face in 09, new coins have it on the edge) Thank God!

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I just dropped my Canon digital camera in a pond. How do I go about a) fixing it, b) seeing if there's a warranty? You can forget about the warranty, because it surely excludes abusive actions like dropping it in a pond. To get it repaired, you need to get it to an Authorized Canon service center. You can find that by calling 1-800-OK-CANON

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My wife and I have been married for only 6 months and she really loves attention from other men. She has cheated on me in the past, yet I married her anyways and now I face the reality of lost trust in our marriage. What can I do to reverse this? You can face the reality of low trust! You can't MAKE yourself trust someone when they've given good reasons to not trust, at least not without damaging the part of your mind which attempts to realistically evaluate things. So there's nothing to be reversed here. You have a wife whom you don't trust, with good reason. Now what? Well, if she behaves herself for a...

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Do you consider yourself to be a talented individual? My special talent is getting others to do my work. It's served me well for a long time! :)

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Is anyone else experiencing a long lag on their activity feedback? I'm finding answers to my questions on the main page that don't show up in feedback. It's a relatively recent change to the system logic -- the feedback page will not actually refresh the data you see more frequently than once every 5 minutes. This is why the comment light comes on long before you can actually see the comment on your feedback page. It's a strategy designed to relieve load on the servers -- the feedback page includes some complicated database...

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Who is wrong? I' ve got a friend who often stops by w/o calling, if she does call & doesn't get an answer she still comes thinking I will get message and be available. She says a friend's door is always open. I say a friend shows the courtesy to ask. You are right: friendship includes honoring the other person's "boundaries" -- you have a right to your privacy, to know what you can expect from your friends, and a right to choose when and how to participate with them. A friend needs to understand this and be respectful of those rights.

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"TRUTH" is not the [exclusive] possession of any one school of thought or practice. Do you agree or oppose this view? No, it's worse than that. It's not in the possession of ANY school of thought or practice. That's not how truth works. All the schools of thought are trying to ENCODE truth into ideas, which is a bit like painting a picture of a village from a particular angle. If you have a dozen artists placed at different spots around the village, they will all come up with a different...

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Have you ever been in bed with your partner and passed gas and then pushed their head under the cover and held it there? Boy, you just don't turn off the charm, do you?

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Would you ever take a cash advance from a credit card for a vacation you couldn't afford? Well, this isn't quite to the point of your question, but cash advances are typically the most expensive way to obtain anything with a credit card. If you want to borrow for a vacation, it's much better to just use the credit card to purchase the plane ticket, hotel, etc. -- you'll usually get a much better interest rate and avoid the cash advance fee. Would I do that? Yes,...

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During wartime, if all participating factions believe that their cause is the "right" one, how can we determine which cause actually IS the right one? Or does it simply depend upon the position of the observer and his or her beliefs? This is a variation of two questions: "how do we know right from wrong?", and "how can we tell what is actually going on?". It's no good being able to determine right from wrong, if you don't have an accurate picture of the situation being evaluated. And it's not much good having an accurate picture of the situation, if you can't tell right from...

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How much does it cost to bowl a game nowadays? When I first started in the early 1960's, our local lanes had a deal - three games for a dollar. I haven't bowled in over 25 years. I stopped in the late 70's it was up to a dollar a game. I was just curious. I went with another adult and 3 children last week. At first they quoted us $4 per game per person... so that's $20 per game. But, they had a "Family Special" -- $48 for 2 hours on a lane, with a free pitcher of Coke and a free bag of popcorn. We chose the latter. That included our bowling shoes, btw. Given the mess those kids made, we got the better end of the deal :)

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I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as a set-in-stone "Good" and "Evil". For example, if a man with a mental problem rapes somebody, can you really call them evil? And people who carry out acts of terrorism in the belief they're doing good? There are several different aspects to the "problem of good and evil" that cause a lot of confusion. This can lead people to the defective conclusion that the words are meaningless, or (perhaps worse) only culturally or individually relative... e.g. "if it's right for you, it's right", or "if it's right for your culture, it's right". So...

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Are you & your significant other equally matched in the "looks" department? If not, who is better looking? Oh gawd no. She is WAY better looking than me. Often I think... "if she ever really opens her eyes, I'm gonna be history". But she never does, so it's all cool! :)

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What state is home to the most big companies (corporate headquarters) in 2008? I believe that's Delaware, because of their corp-friendly state taxation policies.

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Does it take longer than three days to get confirmed on aswerbag? I've received no e-mails at all on either account. This is a common problem with Answerbag. Send an email to admin@answerbag.com with your account details and ask them to manually enable your account.

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I gave up my dad for this boy & so my dad sent me to tennessee so i couldnt be w/ him & my dad wont talk to me. i made the worst mistake of my life by giving him up, he gave me everything. ive tried talking to him but he wont answer my calls & he moved. Just check me to see if I have this right: you were in love with a boy. Your dad didn't like him, so dad sent you to Tennessee to break up the relationship. Now dad won't take your calls and moved, yes? And you think YOU made a mistake!? Good God, where is your self-respect?! Your father is the culprit here. If you're old enough to be abandoned by him, you're old...

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Have you ever gotten yourself into trouble by talking in your sleep? No, I don't talk in my sleep. But my first wife would never have been able to escape this... if she wasn't such a goody-two-shoes. She talked in her sleep *incessantly*, often several times a week, and she would carry on entire nonsensical conversations with me. Since I was often sleepy, it sometimes took a while before I could sort out whether she was asleep or not. Finally I...

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Had a dream I was at a baseball game and a foul ball was coming my way and only I could get it and just as I was reaching for it...my alarm went off. What do you think this means? Real life is always interrupting the best part of our fantasy worlds! That really bugs me.

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Is it true that if you play 'Maybe I'm Amazed' backwards you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup? -delete-

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Have you found your soul mate? Yes, and it took a very long time! Here's how I know: just being with her reminds me of the best aspects of myself, and provides a powerful motivation to refine and express that. The other side is that my appreciation of her goes far beyond simple attraction or affection: often I look into her eyes and I see a whole universe smiling back. It's beyond words. Nothing like that...

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Why can a rocket accelerate in the vacuum of space? Because a rocket is throwing material out it's butt! As Isaac Newton observed, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction -- so when the gas ignites in the rocket engine, it expands... that expansion "pushes" on the upper end of the rocket engine, and also pushes gases out the back end into space. It's sort of like a compressed spring with a ball on one...

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I am in love with my ex-wife. She is with a new guy and has a kid with him. I think they are planning to marry. I have told her how I feel and she says I am lying. What should I do? Sounds like it's time to give that one up, man. She has a kid and they're getting married. You had your shot already. Life is like that sometimes. If you want to hang on to something you can't have, it will hurt -- a lot. Life moves on, and you either move with it or you suffer.

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I hate hating people, but I've started to hate at least one person. How do I stop this? Hating others is really about being unable to confront something in ourselves. What that means (in English) is that we define our identity, in part, but what we find intolerable. When we see it in ourselves or others, we max out the resistance knob. That means we will put up a mental "wall" that keeps out the other person, and magnifies the difference between them and us, and...

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Does the Bible really contain all the answers to life's questions? Normally I tread cautiously in this category, not wanting to give offense to the Christians. However, the thing which bothers me about the Bible isn't so much what's IN it (except for some pretty nasty things in, say... Deuteronomy), but what's NOT in it, and that goes right to the heart of your question. What's NOT in the Bible that should be there? A lot: 1-...

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How does buddism believe the world was started is it different from christian? Buddhism does not bother with beliefs in general, certainly not with matters that are outside the scope of it's primary mission... to awaken to life as it really is. So there's no official Buddhist position about this. Buddhism also takes no position on who should have won the 1971 World Series. Irrelevant is irrelevant.

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Is it normal to feel a fear of death after losing someone really close ? I just lost my brother and I'm afraid i'm going to lose someone else close now because death has never hit this close to home. Very sorry about your brother, that must hurt terribly. I don't know what's "normal" about fearing death, but I think if you're grieving your brother it's understandable that you'll have a variety of powerful emotions -- losing someone you're close to really brings home the reality of how fragile our existence is. People die, people we care about, and...

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Do you have the guts to post a comment when you DR someone? I hate trolls and feel like if you're going to DR someone, take ownership of it and give a reason/rationale. Agree/disagree? It's been about a year since I answered this kind of question, so lets see if my view has changed... hmmm... I almost always leave a comment when downrating. There are a few exceptions -- people I intentionally stay away from because of history, but when they post something exceptionally objectionable I may hit the neg button for it. I rarely downrate, but it happens. I'm...

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If I want to copyright a computer game I created then will it count for the music I created in it as well? You don't have to do anything special to own a copyright on your own works. Unless you've signed an agreement (e.g. with your employer) to sign over the copyright, you automatically own copyright on any intellectual / creative product in the U.S. So yes, you own the copyright on the game and the music the moment you create them. However, to help you DEFEND that copyright,...

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What is your opinion of older woman dating a younger man. Older as in 19 years? Large age differences do add challenges to a relationship. But there are also benefits, and every relationship has challenges... the question is whether or not there's enough of a connection between the two individuals so that they can deal with those challenges successfully. There are no hard-and-fast rules about this, and one of the worst things that happens in our culture in this...

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Guys: Do you have the patience to go with your g/f or wife to buy a dress? Yes, this is something I had to train myself about over a period of years. The challenge was "how do I buy gifts for a woman, if I can't tolerate clothing or jewelry stores?". I went through a lot of changes in this arena, and for a long time I just expected a woman to tell me exactly what she wanted to receive. But that really just doesn't cut it, it's an...

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When America is no longer a "super power," what will become of it? Will America ever become a third world country? Will America still have the same type of government? What is going to happen to America? I'm very worried about my future as an American. The worst thing that could happen to America is NOT to lose it's standing as the richest or most powerful country... on the contrary, that would probably provide a useful antidote to our tendency toward arrogance. No, the worst thing that could happen to America would be for us to lose the values that made us worthwhile -- a concern for justice, a love of freedom, an openness toward...

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ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ARE IGNORANTS OUR COUNTRY WILL ALWAYS BE A DISASTER WITH OR WITHOUT IMMIGRANTS. I PERSONALLY THINK THAT ITS NOT ONLY THEM BUT US AS WELL TOO. MEXICANS ARE NOT ONLY IMMIGRANTS WE GOT EUROPEAN, ASIAN, AND MIDDLE ESASTERN. WY ONLY A RACE UM, WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING!?

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Can I have 50,000 dollars? Yes, of course. But not from me.

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The parents I babysit for always call me last minute - how can I politely explain to them that I hate it when they don't call a couple days ahead? Don't tell them you hate it, and don't "explain" anything. Just announce your new policy, like any business person would do, i.e.: "I have a new policy designed to encourage people to plan. If you book my services with less than 48 hours notice, there's a $20 surcharge" (or whatever terms you want to specify). If anything, they'll be impressed with...

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Explain how a lethal recessive gene can be maintained in a population. As long as it kills AFTER the typical age of procreation, no problem... it won't be selected out.

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When, if ever, are Buddhist monks allowed to get violent? Nobody allows or disallows anything, technically. In Buddhism, each individual is responsible for all of their actions and choices (actually, that's just the way life is, it's not a Buddhist thing... Buddhism just recognizes it). So monks are free to do whatever they choose to do -- fight back, be passive, whatever. There's no Committee of Buddhism responsible for...

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What is autoinhibition? The completely rational reluctance to buy a new car, knowing it will lose 20% of it's value the moment you drive it off the lot, and that smell will be gone in a few months.

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If chandadiane's car would'nt start what ever would she do? Clearly she would fish around under the hood until it was golden. No mere machine intimidates her.

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Is there such a thing as unconditional love for another person that is not related? And how far has that person tested your limits... Yes, there are different kinds of love, and usually we have a mixture when we say "I love you". Unconditional love is simply the kind of love that isn't about ME, i.e. it's free of ego motivation. It's normal for a healthy, well-adjusted person to experience some degree of unconditional love for certain people, such as their children... and not unusual for it to...

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Do you prefer to be congratulated by somebody you know or do you not care as long as you are congratulated? LOL. I haven't been congratulated for anything for so long I can't remember! :) Oh yeah. Better to come from a friend... the others are just sucking for points usually.

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Why are so many people totally wrapped up in it obtaining material things and stressed out? Why can't they see there is a lot more to life than just buying more useless stuff? This is just a stage people pass through... except some never exit. It's normal, at a certain point in life, to think that having more THINGS will make one happy, and it takes a while to notice that it doesn't really work... when you get the new car, it's nice for a few weeks, but then life is pretty much like it was before, except now your payments and insurance cost more! ...

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Why are there so many people who dislike "Congratulations" questions? They only dislike the ones that aren't about THEM!

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Do you think that you get out of your education as much as you put into it, regardless of the school you're at? Both your level of effort and the school's quality matter. If the school is terrible, that will affect your education even if you make supreme effort. If the school is wonderful, and you drag your feet through everything, your education will suffer.

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Do you think people coming to answerbag to ask a question want silly answers which are funny, or helpful answers which address their question? Each question is different, and there's no generalities that apply to all situations. You have to read the question and interpret based on what the question says, as well as any knowledge you may have about the person asking the question. On an almost-related topic, this is a good place to mention that YOUR answers are stunningly consistent in quality and relevance. Somebody should...

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Why is it that, the more keywords I enter into the search engine on Answerbag, the more hits I get? Isn't there supposed to be less? Or is it just one of those engines that you need to use AND and OR on? It finds any questions that match any of your keywords (an OR match), so yes... more keywords produce more matches. If you want a more useful search engine, use Google but put "site:answerbag.com" as one of your keywords. All the power of google with only half the calories!

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In 1000 years from now, what will this era be called by historians? The Age of Self-Righteous Posturing.

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What is your reaction, when liberals( who claim to be for the people) call the people the people " the masses" or sometimes "the mob"? ( Are they trying to say that "the masses" are poor ignorant souls who need their "help" and "care"?) Are you saying that "the liberals" are condescending elitists who need your correction?

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What is one thing you'll never hear Laura Bush say? "It's pronounced 'New-clee-ur', honey!"

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CHANDADIANE is a sage. Do you want to congratulate her for becoming a sage!!!!!!!!? Chandadiane is one of my favorite all-time baggers! She's intelligent, friendly, funny, creative, and ... um... verbose. (Sorry, I just like things to come in fives). Congrats, Chanda!

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Is there a song in which the Beatles or the Rolling Stones are mentioned in the lyrics? In Mott the Hoople's "All the Young Dudes", there's a line that goes "my brother's back at home with his Beatles and his Stones... never got it off on that revolution stuff!"

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What is a good usenet application to access and download binaries? Forte Agent works well. There are a ton of applications to choose from, actually... like this list: http://www.teranews.com/clients.html

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If GOD came up to you what would be the first thing you would say? I guess I expected to be more impressed.

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How do you program your head to be positive? My own view of this (drawn from Zen) is that positive thinking is not a good strategy... that is, the intentional attempt to manipulate your thoughts so they're positive instead of negative. Negative thoughts are there for a reason -- it may not be a good reason, but they didn't just drop in out of nowhere. There may be negative self-concepts at work, or negative conditioning as a...

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Does Outlook 2007 have an Identity log on like Outlook Express? When we used Outlook Express each user was prompted for a password but with Outlook2007 we can't figure out how to use the Identity log on? So that each user is not reading someone elses mail In Outlook 2007 (and all prior versions of Outlook), security is something for Windows to handle -- each users' data is stored in their own private data tree under the c:/Documents and Settings folder. Outlook uses .PST files to store incoming mail. Since each user should have their own Windows account, there's no need for a secondary login just to get to their email -- once they...

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I am thinking this is one of the all time great dumb questions but here goes-online pharmacies, do they require prescriptions, and is it illegal? Any drugs you have shipped into the U.S. (i.e. from Canada) are subject to American laws. So if you buy a drug from a Canadian pharmacy online, you have to fax them a copy of your prescription. Yes, it's legal, and you can save a ton of money... the downside is that it's inconvenient and takes more time.

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What Tom Clancy novel would you recommend for a hardcore action freak? I'm not a big Tom Clancy fan, but I thoroughly enjoyed "Clear and Present Danger".

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I'm extremely right brained. I cant stand things being the same for more than two weeks. how can I accommodate this when nobody will give me any control of my life :/ How old are you? If "nobody will give you control of your life", that indicates either that you're a child, or an adult who isn't taking responsibility for their own life. If you're a child, you should be aware that Answerbag has a lower age limit... I think it's 14. If you're over 14, but not yet an adult, your parents should be extending some measure...

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If I were Live in the North or south Pole would my Lifestyle be different in any way compared to eachother? I.E North Pole V.s South Pole You would eat much more penguin at the South Pole, and much more polar bear at the North Pole. Fortunately, both of these are great stir-fry. You'd shiver a lot at both poles, and that's the main thing.

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When I run a google search, how is the ranking of sites determined? That's the $64 million dollar question, of course. Thousands of web site operators are dying to know that, because they hope it will help them promote their site to #1 in the listings. Google is pretty closed-mouthed about it. A few things are known, such as it matters how many sites link to the target site, and the popularity / scale of the sites providing the links. But the true...

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What are the core beliefs of Buddhism? Buddhism isn't about believing anything, it's about learning to SEE reality clearly -- and to do that, you have to change your relationship with beliefs. Normally beliefs act like a filter: sort of like wearing colored glasses... the mind distorts its perceptions in order to ensure that the beliefs are reinforced and not challenged. Buddhism is very much about undoing that kind of...

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I once used a pendulum just out of curiosity and I accidentally put a friendly spirit in my room, this was 4 years ago, the presence is still there, how do I get rid of it? The best way to get rid of spirits is to stop believing in them. Look what it did to Tinkerbelle!

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Will science and religion ever going to get along? Yes, as soon as religion stops trying to speak out as an authority on things it hasn't studied (i.e. the origin of the universe, etc.), and science avoids trying to make declarations about things that can't be tested (the existence of God, the meaninglessness of life, etc.) It's all about everybody staying in their own corner and recognizing their limitations.

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I've been trying since january to get federal withheld but i keep getting the runaround from our payroll company. They even told me I can't get federal withheld because I'm married. Not true! Who can I call to report them? Call the IRS. You're right, the payroll company is wrong, and the IRS will be happy to straighten them out.

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Me and this guy just met and i gave him my number so we could hang out gain or whatever but im tottally nervous because the first convo on the phone is always full of awkward moments and silences! What should i do to not let that happen? Just let it happen. Trying to not let something like that happen just gets you into an endless cycle of anxiety and self-suppression. Really, it is not the end of the world if you can't think of something charming to talk about! Having said that, it's not a bad idea to have a list of topics and questions already written out, so you can look at it when you want some prompting....

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What do you think is the real key to happiness? Understanding that this moment is all that exists. If you can't enjoy here-and-now just for what it is, you may as well cash it in.

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Before we were together, i had feelings for him my mate & he kissed she claimed she didnt know when I had told her. shes now like a third wheel, if youre not there & she's still with him because theyre also friends. Ive tried drop hints... I'm sorry, but your attempt to compress an entire soap opera into 256 letters loses the plot. Can you post comments or an answer with more details?

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Why do people claim to be bored when on the internet when there are so many resources available to them? There are no boring situations, only boring people. A creative and autonomous mind will always solve boredom in less than 5 minutes.

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Whats the quickest way to hell Lose track of the person responsible for your life.

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Which author wrote the books on which the movie I, Robot is based? Isaac Asimov.

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Don't you find it rather funny that these so called climate change experts now can't decide if the world is going to cook or freeze?...for me its just a load of money sucking B.S. It's not B.S., it's just that the changes will be sweeping and complex. Some places will benefit, some will suffer. But the point is we are messing with a delicate system, and it's predictable that the consequences will be severe for many, and that the average temperature is rising and will continue to do so. None of that adds up to B.S., and the fact that a coordinated...

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I have a very sweet 1 y/o cat with runny nose and puts it in my nose at night! Sometimes he even puts his mouth against mine and breathes all over my face! It's gross but sweet. Anyone? No, I won't put my mouth against yours. Sorry, I'm taken.

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Does anyone know of a free website where you can search for traffic tickets and warrants in new jeresy I'm quite sure there's no such thing.

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What are the general principles of passive houses? They just lay there until someone moves in. Then the fun starts.

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I WANT SUNGLASSES SITES IN A PARTICULAR LINK You have my permission to want that.

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Is Landmark Education a cult? Yes and no. Note: I spent a number of years with this org, and was at one time someone who led introductory seminars about it, as well as managing the program that trained those introductory leaders at my center. Typical "scary" cult features are missing: there's nobody to swear allegiance to, they don't demand you hand over your assets, there's no creed to...

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I am planing to write a e book on 99 ways to make money online any advises all i have is Microsoft 2007 word and i am working on it .so what am asking is how do i profit fro it much and all the ideas in my book will be awesome.and with every usefull in Winner "AB Irony Award" for April, 2008.

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What do you learn in the highest level of Scientology? Keep the cash coming in, and no trinket is too expensive.

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Is it a truism that if you talk to even the nastiest person for a few mins, rationally, you ususally find some common ground on which a friendly conversation then builds? I ask because this happened recently w/ a neighbor. We share 75% of our DNA with bananas, so commonality always has primacy! Really, the tendency to focus on (and magnify) our differences is very powerful, and it's the source of much of life's troubles. The ability to just listen without judgment to another person almost always illuminates common ground.

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Okay this is kind of a personel thing to me, i live with my mom in AR, and love her more than anything, and she would freak if i moved in with my dad in KY, but i love it there because its fun and there is always something to do, and im always bored here It's a tough thing to decide about, no question! Two thoughts: - It's usually not very good to make major life decisions based on something like "she would freak". You don't want to sacrifice your own life to save someone else's feelings, normally. That's giving too much weight to another person's feelings, even your own mother. You love her, she...

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How can we let go of the past? By noticing that you're holding on to it, and taking a deep breath. Then repeat... up to 10,000 times.

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I really want to make good grades in school but i want to be good at other stuff like playing guitar and we have so much homework i dont feel i have the time to practice so i dont hardly ever do homework, what can i do Everybody will tell you to do your homework, so listen to them first. When you're done with that, let's go off into the corner and talk for a minute, eh? School does not inspire you, I'm guessing. That's not really news, it doesn't inspire most people. The crowd is right in a way -- doing your homework is the best way to ensure you'll have the most...

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What do you do when you fall down? Hold my beer with both hands!

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How can people get thousands of points per week on AB? It seems impossible to me. It's called 'moderation points': the turbocharger of the AB elevator.

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How do some Christians get a message of love from reading the Bible, while others get a message of hate? The message reflects the spirit of the reader.

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If you still love your ex, and he loves you. And you all still talk daily and are being friends. Is it bad to sleep with him after the break up? It just means the breakup never really happened. You just had some time off with a side-dish of self-deception!

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There are some people who like to talk shop. If you are with these people, all you will get is a monologue. He talks, sometimes without even pausing momentarily, and you will have to listen. What are your views on such personalities? Best view is in the rear-view mirror.

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What do you like the most about being an adult? I can run out into the street without looking, and nobody can say a damn thing!

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Can someone tell how to do meditation?I suffer from anxiety and i think meditation can help me? Here's my favorite online tutorial: http://www.mro.org/zmm/teachings/meditation.php

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Is there any way to prevent cheating in a relationship? Yes, but it's illegal, and the body starts to smell after a few days.

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What do you think about bashing? I'd rather be the basher than the bashee.

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Have you been to Las Vegas and what did you think? Liked? Hated? Or both at the same time like me. Vegas is the 11th most boring place on Earth, unless you like throwing money at the Mafia... then it sizzles with excitement.

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Have you ever overturned your table in a fit of anger? Yeah, it's all part of my incurable Jesus complex.

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I want to make an Answerbag survey. How many of you enjoy liver? (I hate it, and I'm not picky usually.) If I had to choose between liver and having popsicle sticks jammed into my eyesockets, I'd go with liver.

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What is your philosophy of life? Never eat anything larger than your head.

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Ok so im waht you call a reffer maddness man i smoke all day n everyday when i can but i got u.a's n shit but have no way of gettin drinks for flushin so my ? is how much water do i need to drink before i piss clean or does nissian vitamin b pills work? I would never suggest you quit. Just cut back to the point where you can form a coherent question.

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My wife is on H-1 visa in US. She will lose her job, but would like to stay in US without applying for a g Without even seeing the end of your question, I'm quite sure the answer is "get an immigration attorney".

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Ok i Just moved and hooked up all my shit, i went to open my microwave and yes, it turned on n the carosell started to spin etc. I unpluged it asap and was very scared. Am i gonna get cancer now? Can i sue the maker? It's very unlikely that you've been harmed in any way, and rather than sue the maker you should just get it repaired. Nothing will do more damage to your health than a frivolous lawsuit.

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Do you think that woman are difficult? Yes, but I keep her anyway.

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Does anyone think that the story of Adam and Eve is metaphorical and if so what do you think it's ment to represent? It's just a myth, it doesn't mean anything significant. All cultures have creation-of-the-Earth myths. There's an old story about an Indian listening to his spiritual teacher explain that the Earth is resting on the back of a giant turtle. The student asks "Well, sir... then what is the turtle resting upon?" The teacher replies: "Another turtle....

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Why do goth cut themselves? Cutting (also known as "self-injurious behavior" or SIB) isn't really a Goth thing, many people -- usually young -- engage in this, regardless of their fashion and friend preferences. The general consensus among psychologists is that it occurs because the person is seeking control over their emotions... i.e. "I can't control my anxiety, but if I cut my self with a...

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Have you ever wondered what AB is missing? My list of missing AB features: - a "Chat about this answer" feature, which pops up a web-based Instant Messenger chat room associated with a specific answer, so people can carry on their conversations that branch off onto all sorts of social and unrelated topics. - A "Ping the CLs" feature... basically a way to send a message to the CLs' about a spammer or troll...

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I don't know much about cp's so some how when I go to email why do I sometime's just get the left side of the mail" Did I push the wrong button? You're not providing even a fraction of the information someone would need to know to answer your question. At a minimum, we'd need to know what browser you're using and what email service you're using. Also, the question itself just doesn't make sense: what do you mean you're only getting "half of the page". You should post an answer to your own...

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Do you have any goals for your time on AB in a day, i.e., connecting with friends, making a certain amount of points, or just killing time? I usually have two main purposes: to connect with my friends and to provide some help on certain kinds of questions. There are a few topics where I think I have something distinctive to offer as assistance, so I tend to give the same kind of answers over and over again on those. The rest of it is entertainment and socializing.

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Forgive my ignorance, but if reincarnation is a soul returning to a physical body, how does that figure with out of control population increase? The traditional answers involve animals reincarnating as humans (and sometimes humans become animals, if they don't behave...) But the bottom line is that there is no evidence for reincarnation, and I think it's unlikely that any such thing exists.

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If you've ever been to Tijuana, what was it like? Did you enjoy it? I've been there several times. There's no one sentence that sums it up. There's enormous poverty mixed with middle-class and wealth, all clashing together. Most of the infrastructure (roads, bridges, etc.) is crumbling because the government lacks the tax base to keep it up, but the people are friendly and generous, and the culture is lively and colorful. I really like it...

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People thank God for bringing loved ones home safe from war. But isn't it up to God that there is war in the first place? I'm just looking for thoughts, not trying to cause problems. God has nothing to do with war, that's man's idea. Greed, fear, ignorance... and most importantly -- clinging to ideas of "us vs. them" are at the root of war. God doesn't bring anyone home safely, and he doesn't send anyone to war. Each side invokes his name, usually the righteousness of the causes on both sides is highly dubious. It's sort of like the...

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What's your favorite kind of store? A bookstore that has a good coffee bar and comfy chairs. If they also sell sandwiches I don't ever need to leave.

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Do you think the word "should" should be banished? No, I think the word is fine. Yes, it gets abused, as do many other words. But the cure for that is to understand the nature of the abuse and be aware of it, to push back when appropriate. Eliminating words is like burning books, we don't do that in a free society, and in fact when you have a useful word like this that's counterproductive.

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I'm packing books into boxes, to be stored and then shipped to another country. How should I pack them and what materials should I use to ensure they remain in good condition? The packing stores can sell you bubble wrap on a roll, that's handy to have. The basic strategy is to establish the risk to each item, the value of each item, and wrap accordingly. Books are pretty durable, you can't really break them, you just pack them as tightly as you can and make sure the box is very sturdy, because they're heavy. Same with clothes or other soft...

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What's your favorite euphemism for sex (i.e laying the wood etc)? I never seem able to settle on just one for these questions. Don't know why... but top candidates: 1- "Making the beast with two backs" 2- "Pre-birthing" 3- "Playing hide the pickle" 4- "Sorting the sperm" 5- "Trading cooties" 6- "Over-massaging" 7- "Completing the Circle of Life" 8- "Doing...

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How can you tell if you have an actual anxiety Disorder? Are there any sure fire ways of knowing? Or would I have to talk to a therapist? The disorders recognized by psychiatrists are all listed in a huge book called the DSM IV, which stands for "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual". It lists specific diagnostic criteria, symptoms, etc. for each disorder. While you can certainly peruse the book in the library, much of the content is quite technical and would be impossible for a layman to interpret without a lot of...

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I am a little inscure and my gf is a flirt. I knew that when met her and I know I don't want her to change just because of it. We love each other to death. Flirt maybe the wrong word. When we go out she loves to talk to every one, and hug them. Any sugges Well it's good that you recognize you're a bit insecure, that's half the battle. Nothing's worse than being insecure and then covering it over with a layer of pretense. So now what? What does it mean to be insecure, and what do you do about it? Basically, insecurity is self-doubt and self-judgment on autopilot. Specifically, you have thoughts... lots of them......

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Why are african american men dating and marrying outside of their race? Probably because they're attracted to whomever they're dating. I mean, I skipped Rocket Science in school, so it's just a guess.

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If you were able to obtain the ability to fly but had to give up sex for the rest of your life would you? Um... I guess I don't really need to fly after all.

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I need a riddle where the answer is "c". My neighbor to the left buzzes and dances, my neighbor to the right can more than see sharp.

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Obama sickens me,mccain sickens me.anyone else sick of these two getting a free ride?anyone else disenchanted with these two dim bulbs? Let's see... you can't punctuate, can't construct a proper sentence, claim that two very intelligent men are "dim bulbs", and offer no support for your assertions. I think we've found the dim bulb.

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The doctors and the state have made it official; I must resign from my job and go on permanent disability. I've worked since I was 15 and this (librarian) was my 'dream job.' I'm more bothered by this than the disability itself. Is that weird? Very sorry to hear that. Most of us define our identity to some degree by our jobs, especially if we're doing something we really love and care about. So not being able to work is more than just a financial issue, it hits right in the gut of the question "who am I?". Hopefully you can adjust to your new life, find new ways to express yourself that fit with your...

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I am 20 years old and am in lover with a 48 year old man. I am afraid to tell me family and friends because of what they might say. Does anyone think that there is anything wrong with this age difference? I have about the same age relationship with my S/O. I can tell you, there are a LOT of challenges with that kind of age gap, to add on to the challenges any relationship faces. As time has gone by, we've learned a lot about how to deal with them. But the problem you're pointing to -- the opinions of others -- is particularly painful. The bottom line is that people will...

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Why do liberals believe no one would ever make a conscious decision to do wrong in the face of having all the facts and other options? That's a silly statement. Nobody thinks that after they're 12 years old.

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What would you do to get through to a group that NEVER shows up for meetings? Sometimes where one member of a group will set up the meeting and then not show up himself. The primary motive for most people showing up for meetings is in knowing they'll be held accountable for something -- i.e. if the agenda includes something that I'm responsible for, and I don't show up, that really stands out and I'm likely to hear about it. In a company where nobody shows up for meetings, I'm betting that the company culture doesn't foster...

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What kind of attitude would turn you off in the bedroom? "If you don't do me now, I will shoot you with this here shotgun".

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How can a child prevent being abused? A child can't prevent abuse, that's part of what makes it so terrible: children are vulnerable, love their parents, and aren't equipped to protect themselves or even to know that such protection is conceivable. It's up to the adults to work against child abuse.

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You heart _______? (insert an AB users name here) Don't be shy! Brand X, obviously.

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Will you miss GEORGE W BUSH after he leaves the white house this year? Hey, we could end up with someone who is harder to feel superior to. That's important to me.

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Where i can go to find out the nice health and collect job in the world. Why Eurpoean country dont offer a free Visa. They are not good about there policies. They discreminate b/w different countries. And Relgions. And this thing will not only effect coun That's just the way the world is, friend. The countries with rich economies and lots of opportunity do not want to share that with people from poorer countries, so they have erected many barriers to keep out the poor but ambitious. It's like a giant wall of fear: the rich countries are afraid that the people from poor countries will overwhelm them and make them poor too, they do...

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What is the gist of the song "Sister Golden Hair Surprise" by America? Basically it was just an opportunity for the band to demonstrate that they never had anything meaningful to say in the first place. This song most poignantly expresses that, with a delicate and nuanced use of nonsense, cloyingly cliche hooks, and preview-of-Air-Supply self-indulgence.

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Is there a way to stop answering 'Enable macros' once for all when you open an Excel file without compromising the security? Yes, if you digitally sign the spreadsheet and the hosting computer trusts the owner of that signature. You can learn more about the details here: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/307731

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There are A list celebs, B list ones, and C list ones, but how far does it go? I believe I know a few on the X list, one list above me.

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Does anyone know of a free to download piece of software that would enable me to practice writing SQL statements? Yeah, you need a database! That will let you practice all the SQL statements you like. Try MySQL, which is free and available on multiple operating systems. You can download the Community Edition here: http://dev.mysql.com/downloads/mysql/5.1.html

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I was born with a symbol on my forhead ...like the one u see on king cobras head...can u help me....what is the meaning of that symbol.... It doesn't mean anything. It's just a birthmark.

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Do you miss the good old days on Answerbag or are the good old days now? I think everyone has a different "good old days". For me, it was before points and levels came along, when the site was much less crowded and it was possible to personally know all the regular users. I suspect for some people, it's now.

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Obamas Vice President is the next U.S. President.My research in history indicates popular leaders w/1960's ideas&popular religious leaning tend to get assasinated.Princess Diana was very popular also & was going to strengthen muslim vote.what u think? I think you should stop drinking the Kool-Aid.

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My bf of 5 mons said that he loves me, but he doesn't include me in any of his weekend, vacation and time off plans. It makes me wonder about his love to me. What should I do? Shd I talk to him about it or just breakup? I don't wanna act like a bit@h. Sounds pretty straightforward to me. If he's not making an effort to spend time with you, you're not that important to him. Whatever comes out of his mouth is irrelevant: actions speak louder than words. I'd move on. Who wants to be someone's convenient accessory?

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What do you think of a 28 yr old woman and a 48 yr old man marrying? There's a lot of things to consider: 1- They're at different life stages. That's going to have relevance for all kinds of things, like whether or not to have children, career issues, what will it be like when he's old and needs medical care, etc. Nobody outside the relationship can answer these questions, the couple has to try to be honest and confront the challenges...

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What does the Buddha mean in this quote: "It is nature's law that rivers wind, trees grow wood, and, given the opportunity, women work iniquity."? Where did you read this? I never heard such a quote. The Buddha was quite the revolutionary by teaching that men and women were equally capable of spiritual development, this is very much out of character.

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Can you still achieve whatever goal you set in America? It has never been possible to achieve whatever goal you set, either in America or anywhere else in the world. Reality imposes constraints, and understanding which constraints are real, and which constraints are your imagination ... is the stuff of which sanity is made. You cannot fly by flapping your arms. All goals must be grounded so that they don't violate such constraints.

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I feel like Ive fallen in love very deeply, except that its for everything, the universe, all beings, the Earth. Whats going on? Well that's natural, don't worry... as soon as life hands you something you don't like everything will return to normal!

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Do you think that you should have to change yourself for someone else when in a relationship, or just try to find someone who accepts you for who you are regardless of your faults and shortcomings? Wow, how often do I get to use exactly the same answer twice in one day? :) That depends on what kind of change we're talking about. Certainly anybody who has been in a real relationship recognizes their own imperfections, as well as areas where being flexible and adaptive are important. Someone who adopts the posture "everything about me is fixed in stone, and I refuse to...

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Why do we care whether or not God exists? There's a lot of reasons, but I think they all trace back to this: we crave unity... not just for ourselves, but for life as a whole. We want the apparently fragmented and broken bits of life to somehow fit together coherently, we want it to make sense, be satisfying and meaningful. The idea of God is one way to solve that craving for unity: a transcendent entity who binds together...

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Why am I the centre of attention? Because you're just like everyone else.

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What do you think The Queen carries in her handbag? A map of the London Underground, of course.

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Are you willing to change yourself and your attitude for the person you love? That depends on what kind of change we're talking about. Certainly anybody who has been in a real relationship recognizes their own imperfections, as well as areas where being flexible and adaptive are important. Someone who adopts the posture "everything about me is fixed in stone, and I refuse to change" is going to be in a constant state of conflict not only with their S/O,...

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Do you think that Microsoft should wake-up and smell defeat from Apple? The Zune is only half as good as the iPod!(In my opinion) Perhaps it's only half as good, but if M$ sells 1/4 as many, it will still make a healthy profit. In any marketplace, there's room for more than one solution. That's good for the market, good for consumers, good for innovation. It keeps each supplier on their toes.

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Are you afraid of loneliness? No, but I'm afraid of people who are afraid of loneliness. Oh, the clinging!

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Can I withdraw from my 401k to pay back taxes? I owe $29,000, including taxes, interest and penalties. The IRS wants to levy my bank accounts, and I have no other way to pay. Yes, but you will pay a penalty for doing so in two ways: a) the money you withdraw from your IRA will itself be taxable in the year it's withdrawn; b) there will be an additional 10% penalty imposed on the amount you withdraw. Have you offered to make a payment schedule? They're usually pretty cooperative if the taxpayer is making a good-faith effort to set up a plan.

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Who said "Time spent with cats is never wasted."? Someone who's never held the door open for them.

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Will you give me an example of "wishful thinking"? I can't give just one, it's too tempting: 1- Someone will come up with a cell phone plan the customer can understand. 2- The airline will bump you up to first class because they're sorry about losing your luggage on the last flight. 3- You'll get a too-good-to-be-true offer in the mail from a bank that will actually turn out to be true. 4- You'll call for...

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Can you connect a internet router to another router Yes, but you'll end up with two distinct networks, which may not be what you want. It would be better to provide more details about what you're trying to accomplish.

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Do "ethics" govern what hurts society while "morality" governs what hurts the soul? Therein lies the problem.. too many believe we have none. Morality has nothing whatsoever to do with the soul, it has to do with what affects the whole. There's no need to concoct metaphysical entities to account for morality, it's wired into being itself. The correct basis of morality is an appreciation for the unity of each individual with the whole. Belief systems and mythologies are intermediate solutions which allow individuals to...

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The CEO of a mid-sized office supply firm is asked to facilitate a merger with a larger company. The CEO will receive a substantial severance package and shareholders will receive a premium on their stock. However, the merger will result in I'll complete your question for you, as a special service: "... the merger will result in higher prices for consumers, less competition, the closure of numerous stores in overlapping regions, and eventually trigger an investigation into the questionable accounting practices of the larger company. Old ladies will lose their pensions, and the rich will get richer. What's...

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Why is Roger Hedgecock no longer filling in for Rush Limbaugh? He's great, and we miss hearing him. LOL. That's like saying the Boston Strangler was a good substitute for Jack the Ripper. Which part of "destructive personality" should we pin the medal on?

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I like a shy guy. He talks 2 me a lot, laughs, and blushes. He also acts the same toward the other 2 girls at my table. The only difference is that he talks 2 me more then them. It's hard 2 tell if he likes me. Do u think he does? I don't know wht 2 do :( The trick here (as in all "does s/he like me?" scenarios), is to let the other person know that you think they're special... preferably in some tangible way that leaves them with no doubt. Then step back and see what they do next. So you might (for example) give him a little gift -- something silly or fun that you bought in a novelty store. Or you could get really radical...

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Do you have a "famous" question on AB? No, my highest rated question was "Who do you think you are?" (with 217 answers) http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/88007 I did have an answer which was slightly famous for a while, having to do with lentil soup: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/820337 But fame on AB is pretty fleeting, as in life :)

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What degrees do you need to become a drug and counsoler? Drug counselors are generally regular therapists, having completed a Master's degree in some field like Marriage and Family Therapy, Social Work, etc. As a practical matter, a lot of drug treatment programs are actually using interns and students in these fields for much of the day-to-day therapy, simply because it's cheaper: interns don't get paid much, and students may not...

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Is there no such thing as "anyone can drive my car"? I was wondering if there was anyway to find an insurance agency that would cover any damages should a collison occur regaurdless of the person driving. (assuming they were not included on my insurace) I've never encountered an insurance policy which restricts who may operate the vehicle, except when there is a specific exclusion for a specific individual (such as a teen living in the house, an ex-wife, etc.) So basically your request has already been granted.

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What are your thoughts on the lack of integrity in the commercial air travel industry lately? I haven't noticed that much about lack of integrity -- with the exception of ATA, who have now blessedly left the field for well-deserved obscurity. Of course I notice the lack of *service*, which seems to permeate most of the U.S. airlines. This week I flew to London and back on Air France, and the contrast with a previous flight on U.S. Airways was very stark: Air France loaded...

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Do you agree when I say "Time is an invention of man?" Yes, I agree. Time is purely conceptual -- nobody has ever seen the past or the future. What we experience (and measure) is change ... and regularities in change. From that, we conceive of a way to account for change, and we imagine there to be this sort of line with the past, present, and future -- but of course nobody has ever OBSERVED the existence of such a line, it's purely an...

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What would happen if the C:\Windows folder on the PC wasn't shared when you tried to install the printer on remote PC's? How could you have installed the printer on a remote computer if you didn't have access to the C:\Windows folder on the host computer? It's not a good idea to share the C:/Windows folder, as this is where the operating system keeps it's core file tree. There is no need for client machines to directly access files on the printer host computer just to get printing working. When you add the printer to the client computer, Windows has a built-in protocol which downloads the appropriate driver from the host computer...

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Don't lie, are you even in the littlist bit a racist? Yes, and I've posted this answer a half-dozen times or so. Basically, racism is mostly a function of conditioning -- we learn it from others, especially at young ages, or we have specific bad experiences with those of another race and mentally generalize in ways that aren't appropriate. So I must include myself in the category "human", which means I also have this kind...

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Before i met her my g/f was arrested for tresspassing as a minor and had a mugshot taken. im throwing a party for her and i really want to find that picture and blow it up. is there some sort of database i can search? There is no way you're getting that photo, unless you know some dishonest person in the FBI or police agency. Time to whip out the Photoshop on a regular photo! :)

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If everything exists in dualities, and in order to know X, one has to be familiar with Y (ex. beauty-ugliness), which is known first and why? Everything does not exist in dualities: dualities are a function of the mind's discriminating ability, they're not independently real. So for example, we form the notion "dark" by distinguishing it from "light" in thought. That produces a spectrum of light/dark against which things can be compared. That's all duality is.

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Has anyone been with someone where there are so many issues in the relationship and you can guarantee there will be at least 1 fight p/wk but for some reason neither party wants to walk away? I don't think 1 fight per week is excessive, the question is more what sort of fights those are. All relationships include conflict: unless one party (or both) is suppressing their own views and needs it's inevitable. But what kind of fights? Are boundaries respected at all? Do you try to listen to each other even when you're angry? Does anything get resolved or is it just...

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Are obsession and addiction different? I would consider them psychological and physical respectively: obsession is when the mind is preoccupied with an idea, while addiction is when the body is physically dependent on a chemical (and often the mind is preoccupied with obtaining it, naturally... but the basis of the preoccupation has a physical component)

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Have you ever seen a boy talking to himself as if some sort of fantasy outer- space? Yes, but I never expected him to be elected President.

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Anyone with a rental property - Is it better to sell our house or rent it? Is renting it out worth the headache? That depends on whether you want to be a landlord or not. Renting property is a legitimate and worthwhile business... if it weren't, nobody would be doing it. But you need to treat it as a business, and that means there are records to keep, taxes to file, tenants to manage, property to maintain, etc. If you're up for all that, no problem... you can make money. If you're not...

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I was inspired, finally, to put something on my AB profile. One of my AB friends asked "Why are you so secretive?" So - does anybody have comments or suggestions? (The photos appeared awfully BIG even though they're only 150 dpi.) Hehe! About freakin' time! :)

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Trust is earned, not demanded or manipulated. Trust can take much time to earn, very very few to lose. What does it take from somebody to earn there trust? How long does it take? Depending on the action? This is all so complex to me. HELP? What makes this topic difficult is when it gets too abstract, or too psychoanalytical. Really, it's simple... just study your own relationship with trust: - Trust is specific. I trust you not to steal my wallet, that doesn't mean I trust you to fly the plane I'm riding in. - Trust depends on the perception of risk: if you've stabbed me in the back three times, and...

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I had fallen for someone and I told him I like him but he said he doesn't feel the same and wants to be just friends. I told him it won't be easy for me. Would you remain friends with someone you have feelings for even if you never really dated? I don't think this is a good idea, and although I've tried it in the past I've never seen it work. One person is always settling for something unsatisfying, and the other person is uncomfortable because they know it. More to the point, the situation itself is life's little way of telling you that it's time to do some soul-searching: who are you, that you think this...

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The 1099 INT was mailed to me with my sister's name on it for a CD that we own together. Since her name is first I was told should file the 1099 form with her income taxes. Can I file it with mine since she has filed without it and I can file today? No, she needs to file a revised tax return. You can't report income received by another person on your own return. It will just confuse the IRS, they will receive a copy of the report from the bank, look at her return, and send her a correction letter. They'll look at your return, say "what the heck?" and send you a correction letter. You'll just double the confusion.

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Some scientists believe hands down that the world is flat and are not moving off their opinion, what do u think? I think we can confidently state that anyone who claims this view is not a legitimate scientist.

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Do you believe its fair for the US gov. to help the people who are forclosing on their houses due to getting adjustable rate mortgages? It never seemed to be a good Idea to reward the stupid so why is it now? The problem is a matter of scale. If one person defaults on their loan, it's not much concern to the economy as a whole. If 10 million people default, it's a major concern. Everything in the economy is interconnected: banks give out loans, but they get their money from depositors and other sources. If enough loans default, the banks can't recover their funds and fail,...

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Were the level requirements for answerbag lower back when it first started than they are now? In the "old days" (prior to Nov '06), there were no points or levels at all. When the points system was introduced, indeed the requirements for each level were much less severe than they are now, and people climbed the ladder much more quickly. About 9 months ago they changed the scale so that it takes a lot more points to get to each level. There was rather a mini-riot...

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Our daughter was injured in a very serious auto accident. She lives out of state and under doctors orders is unable to work. We have been supporting her, paying medical bills, rent, food, car expenses, etc. Can we claim any expenses as deductions? Only if you claim her as a dependent on your taxes, which means you need to provide at least 50% of her support for the year. It also means she has to check the appropriate box on HER tax return which states that she's been claimed as an exemption on your tax return. Probably the best thing to do is grab a copy of Turbo Tax, and estimate the total taxes for both returns two ways: one...

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Have you ever been able to clear your mind of all thoughts? I spent 5 years in formal Zen training, at times sitting for 5 days in a row in all-day meditation practice. For much of that time my mind was very quiet, but never entirely without thoughts. That isn't actually a good goal to have for meditation, although it's a common myth that this is what meditation is for. The mind generates thoughts, that's a natural part of...

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What do you think of Obama's comment: "And it's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations," Well I don't know the context for this statement, but it sounds similar to things I've said about 100,000 times.

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Does listing someone on your credit card as an authorized user affect their credit rating? No, authorized users (those who have a card but are not listed as liable for the account) are not reported to the credit agencies. They receive no credit (or blame) for the account's payment history. Most banks don't even require that they have a social security number.

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What is it about Panera Bread restaurants the the patrons always seem to have a lot of papers on the table and computers opened, and doing everything but eating their meal? The chain actively encourages people to bring their laptops, homework, whatever -- they provide free Wi-fi, they WANT people to hang out. Presumably this is part of their overall business strategy: "stay here, eat here, do everything but sleep here". I love Panera.

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Im such a jealous person and i dont know why....i have a lot of great things in my life but im so jealous of my friends....whats my issue? i dont want to be jealous of them i know its wrong The basic problem with jealousy is that it's all about "me". It seems like our attention is on the other person, but really it's on ourselves. "Why does he love HER instead of ME?" or "Why are they paying attention to so-and-so instead of ME?". So basically, it's a form of excessive self-involvement. But self-involvement isn't something...

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Are you totally confused like me by everyone else's interpretation of the Bible and you don't know what to believe? I recommend not believing anything. What is belief, but a way to putty over the cracks in our knowledge.... those areas where we just don't know? Not knowing is not a problem, unless it's something like "I don't know where my car keys are!". That's trouble. But ORDINARY not knowing, about things that don't affect our ability to function, contribute,...

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Anyone who practices zen Buddhism, can you give me some examples of experiential and emotional aspects of your faith (dread, guilt, awe, mystery, devotion, liberation, ecstasy, inner peace, bliss, etc.)? I think you're going to need to clarify your question, I really can't understand what you're asking for. The point of Zen is to "wake up" -- to clear out the barriers to seeing things clearly. It's not a goal of Zen to produce bliss or ecstasy, and to have a goal like that would be very un-Zenlike. Are you interested in Zen specifically or just doing a...

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How do you send a SMS message? is it just like texting? SMS is the technical term for text messaging, there's no difference at all.

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Is there anyone that thinks "sex" has gone overboard in our country? If so, somebody should throw it a life preserver!

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If guys just flirt with you, stare at your body and most don't ask you out..what's wrong? Guyfriends say you're great to talk with...and love making conversation. I'm attractive so don't know what's wrong. Am I desperate/too much in a rush? I suspect that you're just not "connecting" with any particular guy on a personal level. This isn't about "guys in general", it's about a specific person -- finding yourself in a situation where you appreciate them for who they are, and they appreciate you for who you are. The way you've phrased the question, it seems like your attention is mostly...

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Are the community leaders voted upon, chosen or volunteer? They're chosen by the staff.

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While the world suffers and waste away do you use AB trivial nonsense rather than facing reality? Sounds like somebody needs a hug!

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Hi i wold like t know if iam still married One out of every two adults is married. So look to your left -- if that person is NOT married, then you ARE.

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If "Love Hurts" why do we seek it? Ultimately we seek love because we're looking for ourselves. We think we'll find our missing piece in somebody else... and in a way, we're partially correct in that. In the end, if someone is particularly good in this search, they realize two things: 1- nobody else can make you whole, because you are already whole 2- loving another is an expression of being yourself....

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Did Janis Joplin's backup band, Big Brother and the Holding Company, deliberately play that badly to make her sound better? They sound like the Grateful Dead in a blender;) I'm afraid they were just a bit rough in the music skills department. Lots of "classic" rock was produced by musicians with very limited skills (witness the early Beatles guitar solos... um... such as they are!) I guess the nice thing about music is that intensity of spirit can compensate for lack of refinement!

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How can you help someone who spends all of their time, energy and money on a business idea that might never succeed? This obsession has become so bad that it has temperarily broken up a marriage. There is no reasoning with him over money. What can I do? I doubt there's much you can do except wait for life to sort itself out with this guy. Many business ideas are risky, and a person who is entrepreneurial-minded and puts business as their top priority isn't necessarily going to be very available for a relationship. Basically, I suspect he just doesn't care that much about the marriage compared to his visions of business...

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What and when do banks report your checking account information to the IRS? Specificly a new account just opened in 2008? Nothing gets reported unless your account earns interest or you have transactions exceeding $10,000. The reporting of the former occurs by Jan 31 of the following year, the reporting of the latter occurs rather quickly, I believe.

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What's your favorite body function (sneezing, for example)? You're kidding, right?

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Whenever im talking to someone, im always looking for a way to end the convo to avoid akwardness... what is the terminology for that. I know its a type of Anxiety... And how to I learn how to relax when i talk to people? Basically these problems are "feedback loops" -- i.e. you avoid awkwardness because it's uncomfortable to be self-conscious. The only way to avoid the awkwardness is to withdraw from being with others, but when you withdraw it reinforces a sense of being separate and isolated, which is what has you feeling awkward in the presence of others, etc. A vicious circle. The way to...

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Is reality subjective? The question is "rigged"... it's what I call an "are you still beating your wife?" question :) What that means is that reality includes both subjective and objective, so there's a false duality at work when we argue about subjective vs. objective reality: subjectivity is objectively real, and objectivity is subjectively verifiable. It's like those snakes...

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Gtravels is back on the travel circuit once more. With all the places she goes to, if she were swinging through your area( <50 mi.), would you like to meet her for coffee or lunch, just to shoot the breeze in Meatspace? (this is just for fun) Yeah, actually she was supposed to come visit me about 9 months ago and never showed up!! If she comes to So. Cal., we're going to start lunch with 15 minutes of apologies. :)

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How can you ABers come up with so many GREAT questions? Do you have a special secert or technique? Tell me so I can improve mine also (I don't ask very many). Well... I have what I think are a lot of great questions, but I don't ask them -- because I don't like having to play host to all the answers! :) But here's a technique suggestion, just as an experiment, if you're stuck: work backwards. Instead of trying to think of a good question, take an existing answer that you like and ask yourself "if I don't presume...

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Do you believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be? No, there's no such thing as "meant to be". Fate is a concoction of the human mind, which loves to grasp at explanations in its endless quest for control of a seemingly chaotic world. It's evident, on only a bit of reflection, that everything is exactly the way it is right at this moment. It's further evident that there's no "other" way reality can...

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If an only son is left estate and there are accounts unpaid, will the son be responsible for debts even if it's more than the estate is worth? No.

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If your best friend lives in another country, and you have fallin' in love with him/her, would you tell him/her how you feel when you two are alone, and you felt that the time was right? OR would you let the moment pass, filling your mind with 'what ifs' Interesting you should bring that up! That's exactly what happened to me. I opted for "tell her how you feel". Thank God.

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I need help with my 12 yr. old. She has been lying,wearing makeup,screaming at me,calling me names and her grades have slipped. She has been late when I pick her up from rehearsals even when she says she'll call if it runs late. I end The bad news is: she's becoming an adolescent. The good news is: she's still human. Mostly. It helps to have a general understanding of what's going on from a psychological standpoint -- a child has to become an adult, which means establishing a sense of their own independence and identity. Often this is a messy process that includes lots of power struggles with authority...

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I installed Microsoft updates on notebook whilst secondary monitor was enabled. After restarting only the tv monitor was active. I used system restore which has left me with no active monitors. I have bootscreen then nothing. How can I fix this problem? Most notebooks have some magic key sequence you can press which toggles the active monitor, and or puts them into "mirror" mode. It might be marked "CRT/LCD" or "Screen", or something like that, and you typically have to press a special mode key at the same time. Consult the manual for your computer to get the right sequence. Once you have either the...

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I stay in richmond, virginia and would like to know where a convicted felon can find some jobs? Well the Capitol is always hiring congressmen, if you don't feel that work is beneath your dignity. :)

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Does a marriage become void because of being seperated for a certain amount of time, in north carolina? I've never heard of a marriage becoming "void" for any reason other than divorce or annulment, both of which require the courts to act. Marriage is a legal state (if it's done the usual way), and requires legal action or the death of a spouse to terminate the state.

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say, "California"? Cypress trees straining to see Japan across the water, SUV cattle drives clogging the 405 six hours a day, weather that refuses to be cruel, salsa music thumping bass two lanes over, freeways and freeways and freeways stacked up in vertical piles of concrete and exhaust, Highway One singing "I'm Free" at the top of it's lungs, wineries flipping off the French, deserts frying...

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Have you ever looked at your S/O and thought, "I am the luckiest person on earth because he/she loves me."? It's far beyond what any sort of poetry, music, or description could hope to express. I lose all sense of knowing where I end and she begins, or even where we end and the rest of the world begins. To love someone like that is to touch the face of the Infinite.

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After the jet aeroplane, what's the next great advancement in aviation? High speed Internet in-flight.

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Does it irk you when people accuse you of downrating them? All false accusations are irksome. I've made some, and been the target of some. If I make one, I try to swallow my pride and apologize, and I expect others to do the same.

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If you could ask one question of the Dali Lhama what would it be? Why aren't you using your influence to clearly stand up and support the rights of gays and women?

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Are you proud of the rack you have? It keeps my clothes off the ground, I guess it's good enough.

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Many religious people claim that to believe in the big bang and evolution is to believe in "something coming out of nothing" and they dismiss them for that reason. How does God solve that dilemma? Basically, the approach is to treat God as a "black box" -- an incomprehensible entity beyond the possibility of scientific study. This is philosophically acceptable in theistic religions, which do not claim that man is capable of understanding God's essential inner workings. Science, on the other hand, seems to be claiming that the universe can be fully understood in terms...

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Rather then discussing the topic, or helping me out with an issue, could you please just correct my grammar and spelling? Yes, of course. 1- "You" should be spelled "u" -- no reason to waste letters in a world where everything is in short supply. There are other places you can save characters, such as replacing "and" with "&", "could" with "cud", "with" with "w/", etc. Learn "textspeak" for more details. 2-...

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When I first joined AB I thought the bag avatar was a french artist with an orange scarf and a white ? on the back of a blue coat...! Does anyone else see this..? I always thought it was a 17th-century Spanish street vendor, surreptitiously hawking banned questions... they're neatly tucked into the lining of his coat for inspection. Whenever the King's staff or CLs appear, he wraps up and slinks down alleyways that only he knows.

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Why does it seem like a lot of my questions don't get answered? I'm not sure it's true that most questions don't get answered. But for those answers that can't get any love, these categories are common: - Requires advanced, specialized knowledge. The people who know may be members, but didn't see the question. - Incomprehensible question, e.g. people can't understand what's being asked. - Silly question that...

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Why do we believe them when they promise that they'll never leave....When in our hearts we know they will? Sadly, this happens when neediness takes over and drives the car instead of love and wisdom. To the degree we desperately need to be loved, we're caught in an inescapable trap: unable to get enough love to be satisfied, unable to hold on to the love we have, unable to be happy without love. A good definition of Hell, actually.

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What do you hate the most about people? I don't hate other people -- most of the time. When I find myself hating someone, I know it's a sign that I'm "off"... caught up in confused ideas of who I am. It's an Ignorance Alarm(tm).

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Do you think its ok for a white christian girl to date a mixed christian guy who is half white and half mexican? Of course. Why would anybody even think this MIGHT not be OK, especially someone who considers themselves a Christian?

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Do you mind if somebody shortens your AB nickname when they address or refer to you? If you don't mind, what would be your preference(s)? In my previous account, most people abbreviated it "SB", now I see a lot of "BY". No problem... the only thing that slightly bugs me is when someone calls me "Brandy", not noticing the space before the Y.

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An AB user has made threatening comments on several of my answers and threatening answers on several of my questions. How can I have these removed? Yes, they can be deleted by any CL or staff. If they're actually threatening you, ask to have them placed in the penalty box, that's a very serious violation of the TOS.

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Do you think AB shoud add a private message feature? Yes, I think this is long overdue.

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Pay-per-view funerals go live online in Britain on Tuesday, allowing mourners who cannot attend services in person to pay their last respects via the Internet. Any thoughts? What's the deceased person's cut?

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Is it true that to patent an idea you have to go to the town hall? if not,how do you patent ideas? No, in the U.S. you get a patent from the U.S. Patent and Trademark office. The town hall will just give you a funny look. The basic overview of the patent process is that you first search to see if your idea has already been patented, then you file an application (with a fee), then you argue endlessly over the lame objections that the patent examiner asserts, and finally -- if you're...

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Is it bad for your computer to install and then uninstall limewire whenever you use it? If so, why? It's not likely to harm the computer. It might harm your relationship with whomever you're hiding Limewire from! :)

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Every time I try to play certain neighbourhoods, or make a new character, my Sims 2 game crashes. I have 4 expansion packs, have downloaded patches and still nothing... what could be wrong and how can I fix it? Basically, I think you're going to have to contact technical support for EA: http://thesims.ea.com/us/support/question1.html

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I'm in California. I got married, not even thinking that my divorce from my ex hadn't been finalized yet. What reprocussions, if any, can I face by the state of California? Criminal Charges? Max punishments? I dont want to be married. Anullment? Step one, certainly, is to talk to an attorney who specializes in family law in California. My non-expert opinion is that the net effect is you're not really married, and need to get an annulment. The marriage is fraudulent, because it didn't meet the basic legal criteria -- you have to be divorced first. Therefore the marriage is null and the annulment straightens out the legal...

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How bad do women suck? Ok, what happened Sean?

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I am in need of a serious conversation that does not involve the 'bla, bla, bla how was your day' type of talking. No accounts of the events but some more abstract ideas. Does anybody feel the same need? No, the "bla, bla, bla how was your day" type of talking is just as deep as anything else. It's the illusion that this is trivial and unimportant which causes your dissatisfaction. If you give your total attention, energy, care, and effort to whatever people are saying, wonderful things can happen -- regardless of the topic. It's all about your level of engagement and...

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Do you ever wonder if this is all there is? This is definitely all there is. Making peace with that is the key to realizing that this is all we need, also.

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When does a person find Him/Her self? Basically, when they come to understand what it is they're actually looking for. Most of the time spent "finding oneself" is wasted, because the "self" which is being sought does not actually exist. It's like searching for your lost pink elephant -- you'll be at that undertaking a looooonnng time. Any idea you can conceive about who you might be will...

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Why is the answer always meditation? Because meditation is where artificial divisions -- the source of problems -- are undone. Normally we walk around in a "something's wrong here" mindset: firmly entrenched in the belief that reality, just as it is, is defective in some fundamental way. This is a sort of "victim's mentality" about life: "it shouldn't be this way, and my actions are a...

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What do you do when your heart hurts? Sit quietly and let it hurt. There's just no substitute for taking your pain "like a man", even if you're a woman :) Breathing, relaxing as much as possible, crying if you have to cry, letting the natural process take it's course without resistance or "trying to overcome it". Most of us have at least heard of the "process" of grieving, which...

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Where are you, and how much is rent for a decent two bedroom apartment or flat? Orange County, CA -- about $1300+

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Does your system of morality deem it immoral for others to have different morals? Yes, morality is universal -- it doesn't belong to me or anybody else. It's not "my system of morality", and nobody else has their own system either. What you're talking about is concepts ABOUT morality: ideas, beliefs... particular attempts to REDUCE morality to a set of related propositions. These attempts do vary, and there's room for variation with in the...

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Am I legally allowed to rent a room or rooms in my own house. The room is not in the basement it is a bedroom with a closet. The house is located Bergen County, New Jersey? Can you refer me to the law document(s) that relates to this question answer? Tx I've never heard of any law in any state which forbids you from renting a room in your own house (you OWN the house, yes? If you're renting or leasing, you need to consult your agreement document).

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What do I do when my rights infringe on the rights of others? You give up the notion that you're separate from others, and take responsibility for the whole situation, doing your best to produce a "win" for all involved.

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Do you ever take a position in an answerbag "discussion"-just to argue, or provoke? Yes, but there's two forms of this: 1- I'm messed up. In this form, I'm usually in a nasty mood and taking it out on others in a bad way. I try to catch these and put a cork in them as soon as possible, sometimes an apology is called for. 2- I'm trying to make a difference. There is a place for being "intrusive" with others, but it has to be done with a...

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I just recieved a phone call tonight that my 2nd grade sons friend passed away over the weekend. How do I explain this to a 7 year old and how do I help with out thinking everytime this could of so easily been one of my children. Please help :( All you have to do is explain what happened -- in an age appropriate way -- and allow him to have his reaction, and allow yourself to have your own reaction. There's no "right way to be". If you're upset, you're upset. If he's upset, he's upset. Dying really is a part of living, that's not just a lyric to a song. There's no good reason to...

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Jodie 44 celebrated her three year Anniversary this month. Who will help send congratulations her way!! To one of our favorite AB members… Congratulations Jodie!!! Well of course I know Jodie gets embarrassed by this kind of party, and would rather avoid it. But now that the cat is sprung it can't do any harm to pile on! Congratulations, Jodie! May all your trolls be wimpy and self-destructive! :)

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What should you do when your airline goes bankrupt and leaves you grounded? I assume you're talking about ATA and Aloha, both of whom stranded passengers this week. I once booked an ATA flight from LAX to Dulles, VA. It stopped in Chicago, with continuing service to Dulles. The flight attendant announced that they needed everyone to deplane in Chicago so they could service the aircraft before continuing on. I had never heard of such a thing, but didn't...

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Does anyone else dislike questions that single out members as much as I do? Such as: which member has the best sense of humour? which member is the smartest? which member is the prettiest? I think these invariably leave some some people hurt. You? They don't bother me. If they did bother me, I would try to look in the mirror first: why would that bother anyone? I'm not required to participate, and sometimes I do have an opinion about who really deserves some recognition or appreciation. Yes, some people will feel left out or unappreciated, but there's no way to protect people from that -- if someone feels...

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I asked my husband if we could make an attempt at working on our relationship again, he said he 'can't imagine ever living with me again'. Is it futile to try? Well sorry, but it certainly sounds that way. It's hard enough to make a relationship work when both parties are committed and willing to deal with the inevitable difficulties. If someone says something like that, I think you have to lick your wounds, take a deep breath (or 5,000), and move on with your life. Life is often not fair, and doors slam that we don't want slammed....

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"They" say that a personality develops fully by age 3. Do you think that the things about you that you can't explain might be because of things that you experienced at such a young age that even though you can't remember it, it still affects you? This is not correct -- personality develops throughout one's lifetime. However, there are some very basic personality "modes" which are formed in very early childhood, such as basic sense of self, e.g. "I am lovable", or "I am not lovable", etc., along with certain compensation tendencies. This is a result of early interactions with parents or guardians,...

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When you travel out side of the states is cash better cash its exchangeable or visa cause its accepted alot of places? just wondering cause im taking a trip to Germany this summer... I think you generally get the best exchange rate by using your credit card. That's what I do.

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Today will be my last day on AB for quite some time..I will miss you all! Will you all take care and play nice?? LOL! Why are you leaving?

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My wife went to a concert alone last night. When she got home she admitted that she bought an extra ticket off of some guy there (for 1/2 of face value) and then sat at a table with him and another "couple" to watch the concert. Should I be worried? Well it's odd for someone to go to a concert by themselves, even odder for them to go without having a ticket on hand already. You know your wife better than we do: if your relationship is rocky or distant, or there are other things that indicate she may not be completely trustworthy, it sounds like you may have a case that something is going on. It's best not to jump to...

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Don't you just hate it when you're just a few points away to level and there's no recent activity? Sorry, I can't recall ever having that thought. :(

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Does putting a member in the Penalty Box only work if the member has a static IP? I just read this in someone's answer. No that is not accurate at all: the penalty box prevents a user from posting new content, it has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not they have a static IP address. The mix up is probably based on the idea that the AB staff can have trouble locking out the IP address of a rogue user if their address is dynamic. But locking out an IP address is not at all the same thing as putting...

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My stepdaughter worked for cash in the summer. The employer paid her by check, and has not given her a W-2. Maybe they won't? Is there a period of time that they have to, or she doesnt have to report? They are required to report earnings by January 31, this is a problem. They are violating the law, and it's entirely possible that the IRS will catch up with them in an audit, find out who they paid, and come looking for your stepdaughter to remit her share of the taxes. She should call them up and ask for her W2, and do it quickly, as the deadline is approaching.

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(It looks like no one has said anything so I guess I'll say it.) It's been a great time being on Answerbag, and the time has come that I've reached my one year anniversary! Who else would like to celebrate with me on my one year on Answerbag? Congratulations, KS. You've been a steady, helpful, and dedicated contributor. It does not go unnoticed, even if your anniversary did slip by... :)

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Everyone always wonders what will become of us after death. But what about before we were born? Were we dead in another life and born into this one? Basically, not everyone wonders: many people realize that the notion of individual existence either before birth or after death is inconsistent with what we know about reality, which is another way of saying "most likely a myth". It's like asking what kind of chocolate is preferred by the Easter bunny.

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How do you make an email address on a non-free email service site? (i.e. not me@yahoo.com but me@answerbag.com) The mail account has to be created by a person with administrative rights on the mail server -- which is generally "not you". The free services like Gmail have automated this so that you can create your own account, and there are public (but non-free) mail services which will allow you to create an account on their domain for a fee. But you cannot create an account on a domain for...

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What is your favorite AB question or answer? I guess for all of the wonderful and bizarre Q&A's I've seen in my time here, the one I still appreciate most is the simple "What do you look like?". It has over 600 answers, many with photos, and lots of nice dialog in the comment threads. It's like a little community picnic that just goes on forever: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/72716

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T or F: The present drug laws are a dismal failure. It may be the biggest business in our country. 1 out of 100 Americans is in jail because of drugs at a cost of $40,000 per person a yr. Until we use education and not jail time, it will not go away. The trouble with drug laws is that we're attempting to suppress the symptom rather than cure the disease: in general, the demand for addictive "recreational" drugs reflects personal problems of the user -- healthy, successful people who are satisfied with themselves and their lives are just not very interested in being buzzed a large percentage of the time. So to treat drug...

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If I got married to a person who was still married to 2 other people and I was also married still to some one eles do I go for an annulment or disalution or divorce. How long does it take, and were can I get the forms on the Enternet for Ca. I believe you would need to get an annulment, because the marriage was fraudulent. Check out the Nolo Press web site for information about do-it-yourself dissolutions and annulments in California: http://www.nolo.com/resource.cfm/catID/1F8CD39F-A86D-4A11-A90EB147C32EDF2C/118/ Here's some legal guidance about the difference between annulment and divorce: ...

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How do i know when i am stressed? Sit quietly in a chair, by yourself, with no distractions (TV, etc.) Sit up straight, be as alert as you can. Just sit there for 5 minutes, relax, and notice your breath going in and out. If you can do that without wandering off into obsessive thinking about some problem or conundrum in your life, you're in good shape.

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How can i find out if i have alien dna.........is ther a test i can do on my self Try to relax... nobody has ever seen "alien DNA", so there is no test for it. If one of your parents came from another planet, it doesn't mean they don't love you, it just means they may know Tom Cruise personally.

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How does working under the table and having a house ( with no mortgage payment ) work? Since I own a house do I have to show income for tax purposes? And would I have to owe money when tax time comes? You pay your mortgage to the lender, with whatever money you have. The lender doesn't care or know where the money comes from. At the end of the year, you pay your income taxes: if you're working under the table, the IRS will not know about your income, and if your known income is below the reporting threshold, you can get away without filing a return at all. However, if you...

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In the Chaos Theory, it states that everything you do will change the future for everything else. But with this theory, does the act of thought change the future as well? It's not quite right to say everything changes the future: you can't change what doesn't exist yet. What it changes is the distribution of possibilities... the way in which the wave function collapses. And yes, thoughts affect that distribution as well as actions.

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Everytime i enter the city of Vivec, the wandering Ordinators attack me, but all of the stationed ones are fine and will talk to me normally, i have paid my debt and cleared my name, what do i need to do to make them stop attacking me? Sounds like my first marriage. Thanks for the post-traumatic stress reminder.

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I'm writing a book called WAR WORLD. It's about a boy who gets taken off the streets and sent to a duplicated Earth. There he forgets about the real world. On the planet he makes an army to protect the world against others. What else should I write about? Well obviously the dupe world needs to get attacked by aliens! Ideally, they should all look like giant turtles with 6 primary limbs and one extra claw-like limb coming out of their foreheads. The aliens pound dupe-world's cities mercilessly with death rays from space, and our hero's "army" is inadequate to defeat them in conventional battle, so they have to use their...

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Why is it so hard to let go? To go with the flow and not be in control of everything. The problem is false identity: the mind clings to ideas of "myself" as a way to provide a steady reference point for the chaotic flow of experience. Because we're biologically wired for survival, the mind fails to distinguish between TRUE survival (i.e. "protect the body of the organism") and FALSE survival ("protect the ego from threats"). The natural...

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Why exactly is the war (invasion) going on in Iraq, in your opinion? I think the reasons why it started are somewhat different than the reasons it's continuing. The most notable reason cited by the administration for starting the war was the belief (later proven false) that Iraq was amassing weapons of mass destruction (WMDs) and planning to use them in aggressive ways. This poor intelligence, when combined with Iraq's steady resistance to allowing...

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I want a girlfriend, but girls don't like me, and some think I'm gay. What should I do? Some of my friends that are girls say the right girl will come along because I'm a great guy, but I think they're probably just saying that because we're friends. The problem starts with "I want a girlfriend". It's too abstract. WHO do you want? If there isn't a specific girl who you really connect with and care about, what the heck is it that you want? Someone to admire you? Someone to help you fit in with other's expectations? Someone to make you less anxious about whether or not it's OK for you to be yourself?...

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How does one begin to release deep-rooted feelings of low self worth, What is the first step towards learning to recognize your unique gifts and love yourself unconditionally? Step one: locate any book you have which recommends positive thinking, affirmations, or manipulating your self-esteem, and hold a bonfire in your back yard. Then find all the books that talk about your unique gifts and unconditional love, and burn them too. If there are any magazine articles or other materials, make sure they hit the flames too. Why don't those things work? Why...

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Why do so many conservative christians wanna rewind the clock back to some 1950s crazy land? The question is somewhat offensive, even though I'm not a conservative Christian. The problem is that the question presumes another person's viewpoint is "crazy", while simultaneously saying "I don't understand them". If you don't understand, you don't know that it's crazy. What we need isn't more groups calling other groups idiots:...

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If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, and 365 days a year, then why in the hell do they have locks on the doors? Hehe. Denny's Restaurants are also open 24/7/365. A few years ago, they announced they would close on Christmas day -- for the first time in about 40 years. This presented a problem: in some restaurants, the locks had rusted shut long ago and locksmiths had to be called in advance of the big day!

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Why does COOL WHIP only stay cool for like 15 seconds after you take it out of the refrigerator? That would be the physics of it: it has very little mass, and very little heat-insulating ability. The lack of mass means it doesn't retain heat or take long to heat up, the lack of insulating ability means heat travels quickly. Choose a denser desert topping!

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Cellphone towers are now being installed in church steeples. this serves a twofold purpose. better cellphone coverage and the church receives a monthly rental fee. any thoughts? Some people won't need to go to confession anymore.

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What type of economic system does the United States have? 1- Entrepreneur wants to be his own boss, decides to start a business by making or selling something. 2- Investor has too much money, decides to try to make more by funding a business, gives money to entrepreneur in exchange for first-born child. 3- Entrepreneur hires marketer to decide what people don't need that they can be conned into wanting. Marketer comes up with product or...

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If you could rename AB's Penalty Box, what would you call it? (humor welcome) 1- "Limbo" 2- "Time out" 3- "Standing in the corner" 4- "The Freezer" 5- "Anger Management Training Simulator" 6- "Land of the Unposting" 7- "Softspank" 8- "Perspective Recovery Vessel"

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What does your desktop look like? Post a picture! This:

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There is this relaly annoying chick at school that likes to act like she is Dr. Phil. She is always getting into peoples fights and trying to solve things. Thing is I just found out that she is talking smack about both sides. Don't this make her phony? ...

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In your opinion, when were "the olden days" ? And what did they become after they weren't old enough to be olden any longer? lol. Each day becomes olden when it gets [old en]ough.

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Is there a way to insert special characters into the Q&A and comments on answerbag? Yes, but it's rather tedious: If you're using Windows, you need to use the Character Map program and copy each special char to the clipboard, then paste it into your text. You'll find the Character Map at Start > Programs > Accessories > System Tools > Character Map

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Are creativity and conservatism mutually exclusive? Creativity is incompatible with any "ism". The infinite matrix of possibilities which is the human mind chokes on it's own constructions when it's bound too closely to any fixed ideology.

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Has anyone read "A painted house" by John Grisham Yes, I enjoyed it.

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Question for liberals/U.S. Democrats; What do you stand for? what are your moral stances? what do you believe in? what are your core values? I am curious as from what I see there are none other than high taxes and hatred for American values. Enlighten me. Your question virtually guarantees a fight. It's not an honest attempt to understand your "opponents".

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At what age is a human male physically capable of reproducing? That happens at puberty when a male is able to ejaculate sperm. The actual age varies, somewhere between 12-15 is normal, I think. Somewhere there will be statistics on this on the web.

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Im 17 and still haven't had girlfriend or a real date. Im also short for my age 5"5 Is something wrong because Im about to go off to college in about 5 month. We all have to contend with our expectations... and the expectations of others. If you look at your own beliefs and attitudes, you'll probably see that you have a lot of ideas about how you SHOULD be, e.g. "I should have had a girlfriend by now", or "I should be taller", or whatever yours are. We compare ourselves to these ideas, and everybody has at least SOME...

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WHAT ARE THESIGNS THAT SHOWS THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END? PEOPLE HAVE BEEN USING CAPS IN STRANGE AND AGGRESSIVE WAYS, AS FORETOLD BY THE PROPHETS!!

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In your opionon, what makes someone a good teacher? There's all sorts of skills and qualities that are helpful in teaching. The one thing that I would chip in is a bit off the beaten path, though: it's "the ability to NOT already know". Normally we think that the teacher knows, the student doesn't, and the teacher's job is to transmit their knowledge to the student. This is fine for most things, and...

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What do you think is the real root of all evil? some say money, or religion, and even some say girls (you know eve, pandora.. you get the point) In Buddhism, it's generally considered that ignorance is the root of all evil. In particular, greed and fear, and all of their close cousins. The idea is that we (in ignorance) define our sense of "self" incorrectly, which leaves us feeling needy and incomplete, and we then grasp onto things we think we must have (greed) or resist things we think we can't tolerate (fear)...

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REDHAWK has just made it to Sage.. Who would like to send her best wishes and congratulations? Lets have a celebratory flypast Redhawk!... WELL DONE. Redhawk has always been one of my favorite baggers. May she float on the updrafts, and find endless juicy mice just sunning themselves on the rocks below. :)

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I work in a cube. People in offices nearby (management) are loud & do not shut their doors for meetings, conference calls. They need a lesson in cubicle etiquette. Any ideas on where I could find this &/or a tactful way to ask for more consideration? I have two answers: 1- Wear earplugs. I always have a pair in my pocket, I think of them as my "personal volume control for life". They pop in at the restaurant, at work, when shopping, anyplace where the soundtrack doesn't suit my tastes. I bought an industrial-sized container of earplugs for $65 about 10 years ago, I'm almost done with it now! :) 2- Let go of the...

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If (only) you would loose all your points on answerbag due to a server error, and there would be no way to fix it, would you still keep visiting the site and start over as novice again? Yes, I've done that about 5-6 times now. It's fun, you should try it!

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I have depression, anxiety, crippling panic attacks and no health insurance or meds. I quit my FT job and cannot find the courage to apply for one. I'm losing hope. What do I do? (Please no points - I am silver-badge ABer but wanted anonymity for this.) From my point of view, the most powerful medicine is the one most overlooked: meditation. There's nothing like allowing the mind to heal itself... learning to get out of the way so it can do that. Here's a primer: http://www.mro.org/zmm/teachings/meditation.php Note: almost nobody takes this advice. It always seems like too much trouble relative to having someone else (or...

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Is the glass half empty or half full? Or did some just steal my glass? I only bought half a glass so as to avoid this classic problem.

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Has anyone out there in A/B land met their significant other through this site? Yes, I met my S/O on Answerbag, and I know of a couple other relationships that started here and moved off into meatspace! Viva AB!

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What would you have if you had an acute myocardial infarction? A big medical bill.

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Since everyones opinion is equally important, I think all ABers' ratings given should be the same regardless of rank, don't you? Everyone's opinion is NOT equally important -- the equality has to do with rights: everyone has an equal right to have and express an opinion. But certainly those who have more knowledge of the topic, more experience, more wisdom, etc. get a greater weight for the importance of their opinion. The world would be chaotic without that.

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Do you agree that when doubt is conquered, ignorance is invincible? Only when we're talking about "relative" knowledge: concepts. Concepts always include an element of uncertainty, because a concept is parsed from the whole of reality by the mind, and the boundaries and qualities of "a thing" thus always reflect the mind which does the parsing. This introduces a kind of "falseness" or distortion: concepts cannot BE reality,...

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Have you ever done anything so lazy you're ashamed to admit it? (OK what was it?) I was too lazy to roll over on my other side this morning, when the light from the window was too bright at 10:00 AM.

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If you were to give yourself a "most likely to" title for the next 7 days, what would that title be. Most likely to break out in Spanish unexpectedly (I'm practicing a lot)

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Have you ever heard that Canada(Quebec) is the best place to party? Women, alcohol, marijuana and the most friendliest people to hangout with. Also the age of 18 to do anything you desire. Being from montreal I've never been anywhere that compares. Agree? I don't know that much about Quebec. Here in California, the town of Truckee is considered the Official State Trailer Park, so I guess that's the equivalent.

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Who are you when no one is looking? Are you still the same person? I just can't go to all the bother of existing when no one is looking. What would be the point?

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Are you controlling? Don't ever ask that again!

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Has anyone used irfanview? I've never used it. Can u change to next picture with spacebar like in acdsee? Yes, you use the spacebar and backspace keys for "next" and "previous" when scanning through a set of images.

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Take a receipt out of your wallet, and type the name of the merchant where you bought something. L.A. County Jail Gift Shop Swiss Army knife: $15.99

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Since the advent of the internet, what impact, IYO has it had on the world, good or bad? The Internet has had many effects. The one that pops up in response to your question is that it has "lubricated" the general tendency of the modern world to speed up: things go faster than they used to.... change, transactions, research, communication -- it's as if the world was already accelerating, and then Tim Berners-Lee hit the afterburner button with the invention of the...

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Can a router store contents of an email, or any private personal information Routers do not store the data that flows through them, they're like traffic cops that tell the cars which way to go: the traffic cop does not have time to take notes about each car.

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Does it sometimes irk you that you can get more points for saying what colour ink you write with than for a well thought-out, clear answer? Nope, and it doesn't irk me that three times a week, like clockwork, some form of this question is posted! :)

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Are you proud of your AB friends? I am, as a matter of fact... I was just thinking about this last night. I think my friends are the coolest, the most intelligent and creative, the most loyal and generous... with individual variations, of course. I'm quite privileged to have such friends.

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My roommate suggested that we put a hot tub in our room now I am going to do it, it's not against the rules and would be fun. but I need a cheap small way to heat the water. it is a rubber pool 10X5X3FT so I need to avoid melting. suggestions? The fact that it's not against the rules does not mean it's a good idea -- there are 2 major concerns: - If you're not on a concrete slab first floor, the weight of the pool could well do serious damage to the floor. That much water weights a LOT. - If this thing leaks, there will be a lot of water damage. It's not hard to imagine a bunch of young folks partying and...

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How many ABers never earn a congratulations despite longevity (>4 years), high level (50+) or anything like that? Am I the only one who is a ghost, or are there more like me? Or are congratulations based solely on popularity? You are definitely not a ghost, Jerv. I've always enjoyed your presence, even when it seems like you're going out of your way to make trouble -- you do it with a kind of humor and attitude that is a lot of fun. Here's to 4 more years, may all your opponents be dimwitted and easily skewered :)

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It has recently been brought to our attention that jerv's 4 year anniversary was in January!!! I would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate him on his SAGEdom!! Put your hands together for jerv!!! Congratulations, Jerv!

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My fiance' is in Iraq. last night I got drunk with an ex & ended up fooling around with him. i barely remember. I woke up and instantly knew I had messed up! I feel so horrible, i love him so much. how do i tell him? can it work? can i be forgiven? Here's my standard answer for drunk cheating: 1- STOP DRINKING SO MUCH 2- Don't tell him now. Don't do it again. He's not your priest, to process your confession. 3- Don't beat yourself up too much: remember that you're human. This doesn't justify anything. 4- Don't blame the alcohol. You did what you wanted to do. There are consequences,...

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In the hectic middle of an 8 year old's birthday party, a sleep-over with 5 girls total. What should be the rules of the house for the evening? - If it looks like you'll get in trouble by doing it, you will. Don't do it. - Screaming is not talking quietly. - You DON'T need to check out the kissing scene in "Dangerous Liasons" - Yes, you're very cute. No, you can't borrow my laptop for a "speriment" - Go ahead and spill stuff. We'll burn this room after.

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What's the best, free antivirus software that uses little system resources, memory, and very effective at protecting the computer? A good firewall and a well-informed user. I used to write code for Symantec Antivirus. I've not used antivirus software on my own computers for about 4 years. If you know what to watch out for, and keep your firewall pure, the impact of AV software on your CPU can be zero.

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I'm starting an Answerbag Glossary which I will provide a link to one day when I have enough material. Can you please help me by providing AB specific terms with their definitions? Answer as many times as you want. Thanks for your support :) 1- Defriendasplosion: the violent reaction of a sensitive user upon learning of being defriended by a popular user. 2- Friendlistocide: removing all of your friends from the friend's list. 3- Goofjacking: Hijacking a comment thread due to a misunderstanding, i.e. misreading a comment and then blowing up at that user, resulting in a new sub-thread. 4- Subthread: A distinct topic...

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Do you agree with me that the only music worth listening to these days is classic rock? Definitely not. I'm 50, and I pretty much stopped following music around 1982 or so, so until recently my collection has been heavily weighted with 60's and 70's stuff. But recently I started digging into more modern artists, thanks to the people who answered this question: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/84543 I've discovered a number of real gems among these...

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Hey, Newbie Here, How do I clean up my Q&A, section in my profile? I want to watch SOME of them but not every little thing that I comment on. You can unsubscribe from any thread, including your own answers. The only thing you can't do is unsubscribe from your questions (which can be bad news if you are unlucky enough to ask a question which elicits 200 responses!). Just click the unsubscribe button for any thread that's annoying you.

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Would anyone like to take the position on why prostitution should remain illegal in the United States? Perhaps there is something that I am not considering. Yeah, ok. I don't actually feel strongly about it, but if you need a Devil's advocate here it is: Individual rights are not absolute, just as individuals themselves are not absolute -- i.e. there really is no such thing as a "private act" in an absolute sense... everything we do interacts with the rest of life, often in subtle ways. Philosophers have argued for ages...

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Do you answer questions in certain topics or just check all the new questions? My favorite topics are Relationships, Mental Health, Child Abuse, Buddhism, Religions, and Answerbag. I have links on my browser set up so I can quickly go to those categories to see what's happening. And now that I've pared my friend's list down to a reasonable size, I use the Friend's Q/A page a lot to see what those folks are doing, and I often drill into it to...

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Did Christ preach door to door as Jehovah's Witness do? Yes, but he never checked his crib notes.

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Down rate if you want, but really...why are all ABer's whinie, liberal, tree huggin butch dykes offended by free speech? They're not, and you're a troll.

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I have been with the same guy for 3 yrs. He talks of marrige, and buying a house. He is one of the nicest & most caring men I have ever been with. But I know in my gut we are not supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. How do I t Unfortunately, there's no painless way. People will twist themselves into terrible knots to avoid "being the bad guy", when they know it's not where there heart is. One of the hardest things you'll have to do in life is to be true to yourself when it causes pain for someone you care about. The reason this is so difficult is because we mostly like to think of...

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Why are emotional reactions to certain situations considered 'weakness' by a lot of people ( mainly men?)? I think it's the intersection of cultural, biological, and evolutionary tendencies, not a single factor. Men are conditioned from childhood with images and ideas of what manhood is: tough, independent, invulnerable. Look at the shows kids watch -- they're full of heroes with super powers who can stop bullets with their hands or fly, etc. You don't see a lot of superheroes...

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Saturday, March 29, is Andy777's four-year anniversary on Answerbag. Yes, that's right - four years!! Will you join in the celebration of this remarkable accomplishment by one of Answerbag's all-time most highly respected and well-liked members? Anybody can stick around for four years. And most people can be highly respected if they try, or well liked. But to put all three of those together with such consistency? She's a legend.

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I am 29, I feel I am stuck in a labyrinth with no exit, my whole life is empty, I have no family and friends. I have a bf but our relationship is on the rocks, I depend financially on him and nowhere to go. I need friends but I am stuc Sorry, that sounds very painful. What do you think brought you to this point in life?

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What posititions has hillary clinton switched her position on? I don't know, and I'm not a big fan. But the question hints at the common fallacy that switching positions is a sign of weakness or lack of commitment by a politician. This isn't necessarily so -- there are many perfectly good reasons to switch positions on an issue, and a politician who fails to do so when those reasons become apparent is guilty of negligence, rigidity, or...

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Is there any way to get back the love of somebody who says they dont love you anymore? Breakups are just painful, sorry. Nobody can tell you whether or not you'll be back together again in the future. But in general it's a mistake to become obsessed with trying to "get back the love". When life hurts, you just need to let it hurt... that pain is part of the price of being able to love. It will not last forever if you don't turn it into something...

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I need some strong arguments to why drugs/drinking make depression worse for my girlfriend, I can't seem to find the right words to get it across to her. Anyone? The main problem is that they numb the pain or distract from it, rather than heal it. If you have a wound, you want it to heal -- take care of it, apply medicine, clean the bandage, etc. If instead you just go out drinking and partying to distract yourself from the pain, the wound festers and gets worse. Whatever is causing her depression is the wound: that's what needs her care and...

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'isnt all we do in life just to be loved a little bit more?* would you agree with this or disagree? its a quote from a movie That's very true for people who believe that they're unlovable, not so true for everyone in general. Much of our behavior is compensatory: we're making up for or "fixing" something which we think is wrong or broken in ourselves, life, or others. This can be a number of different things, and someone who believes deeply that they are unloved will have a lot of their...

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It appears as though Obama has now changed his views and now he is for slave reparations... ...Any thoughts on this? I don't have a problem with politicians changing their views: to me, permanently static views are a sign of ignorance. I want officials to use good judgment and have a broad understanding of life which continues to evolve while they're in office, I'm not interested in the pretense of "I know all the answers, elect me". That one has fooled us a lot of times. As for...

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I dont get you AB'ers... I ask a question of contreversy... because I know people have different opinions. I want to see both sides. But you people take it all personal.... down rate me and leave me with no answers.Think about it, Im sure you've done it? I don't know what you're talking about, but there's an obvious irony in your question -- you're taking it personally, setting up a "me vs. the world" interpretation of the situation. "Oh those terrible baggers, they don't understand me!" First, we're not a fixed group of with boundaries, second you can't exclude yourself -- YOU are an...

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I was in a study yesterday on elder gay housing,basically what the problems I envision as an older gay couple in going to a home.Nobody wants to go back in the closet but that is happening a lot to older people.It is a study who's time has come.Comments? There's no substitute for protective legislation: it needs to be illegal to discriminate against gays on a wide variety of fronts. But as we all know, you can't legislate the human heart, and the real challenge for anyone who cares about justice is to reach those who are embroiled in distorted and unjust thinking about homosexuality, and either awaken them or isolate them to reduce...

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Whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say the letter, "Y"? My last name, of course.

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What did you think about the movie Rhuanda's Hotel? or is it Hotel Rhuanda It was a very good movie... not quite historically accurate, but it did a great job of raising awareness of what happened in Rwanda in the spring of 1994, when about 800,000 Tutsi where brutally slaughtered in a mass genocide, while the American, British, French, and other Western powers sat back wringing their hands and basically abandoning the small contingent of U.N. peacekeepers to their...

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In your opinion was Jesus a liar, lunatic or Lord? Give reasons why. I think he was what we would call "a Bodhisattva" in Buddhism -- a person who has some authentic spiritual realization and devotes his life to sharing that with others. This is entirely human, but at the same time it's worthy of great respect. It does not mean that he is infallible, or that every statement out of his mouth is absolute truth.

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How much mass would a 100 kg person have in outer space? 100 kg.

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What is the significance of the idea "Going to Spain" in classic rock? Does it refer to simply taking refuge from America or does it have some connotation I'm perhaps too young to understand? It doesn't mean anything special, it's just that Spain rhymes easily with a number of other words that are easy to weave into a song! Rain, train, main, plain, etc. If all else fails, and you can't figure out how to close a verse, put in something about going to Spain :)

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Does anyone use Skype internet calling software? Yes, it generally works pretty well. Given that you can call to places like Egypt from the U.S. for 4 cents a minute to a regular land line, any glitches in the technology are well worth the cost savings.

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Is it likely that I will never find another man to love now that I am older (over 55!) Statistically, it's less likely that you will find another man over 55. But it does happen, I just think it's important to make peace with that fact first -- the odds are harder. My primary approach to this kind of question is to try to get back to the very beginning -- why do you want "another man"? In other words, there's a difference between "I'm...

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Where have all my friends went idne, jodie, fun there all gone and some just arent showing up anymore jax, stableboy, el soupy? Hi Sandra! I have to tell you, Stableboy attacked me viciously and I had to take him down a notch, he won't be coming back. He is sooooo arrogant :( I hope you don't mind. I know several of the others on your list who are still active though.

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Why does everyone think they can be famous? Well not everyone thinks that, yes? Many people become famous for trivial things, but generally to make a career that draws a lot of attention involves a lot of talent and hard work. Many young people in particular underestimate just how tough the competition is in things like sports and entertainment. I think the more important question is "why does anyone want to be famous?"...

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Does your significant other know about your AB escapades? My S/O IS my AB escapade :)

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I am married, hubby is verbally abusive, we are both looking for work, I have had about 4 job offers for the year, my hubby calls me stupid in front of kids I guess cus he is stressed cus things are bad, I feel he is keeping me down, should leave? If it weren't for the kids, I would suggest you seriously consider just dumping him. But that's a tougher call when children are involved. One thing you might consider is teaching yourself (and him!) to maintain "boundaries". There are certain kinds of things I will not allow people to say to me, and if they do that there will be consequences. That's what...

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My wireless laptop does not connect to the internet but it shows the network its connected to. What should i do? Reboot everything involved: the router, the modem, and your laptop. Basically that means pulling the power out for 5 seconds on the router and modem, then plugging them back in. If they're properly configured that will usually de-confuse them. If they're not properly configured, they'll need attention from someone who understands them a bit more.

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Why are babies cute? Because the cavemen refused to put up with ugly babies. It was bad enough that they were noisy and required constant feeding and couldn't do a damm thing to help on the hunt -- if they were ugly too, that was just the last straw. So natural selection: the ugly ones didn't make it to adulthood.

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Do you like to go camping? Any good stories? When I was a kid, we were too poor to even pay attention, so all of our vacations were camping... with Mom doing all the driving and the work, since Dad spent a fair amount of time in prison for trying to use poor methods to reunite his family after the divorce. But that's another story. Anyway, on one of these adventures Mom dug deep in the pocketbook for the unequalled luxury of a...

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Hi Dr.phill my cuestion it is how to manager again my life we out my 3children and feelling really desapoimenty about not one so,ever help-me to get my children back and feelling abuse from my past and I,only wuanted my life back tell me w Sorry, but Dr. Phil doesn't actually respond to questions on Answerbag. This category is for people who want to talk about him, it doesn't indicate that he's actually participating. If you want to ask the users here for advice about your life, try posting a more general question in one of the Mental Health categories.

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My ex has moved on with his new life. I am also working on moving on without bothering him. Why is he still sending me some hateful messages or blame on me that it was my fault for breaking up. Well, he's hurt and angry. Instead of dealing with his hurt and anger in a healthy way, he's lashing out at you. It happens. Probably best for you to ignore these messages... don't respond.

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What gave you confidence to ask you significant other either to marry you or date you? Well I've been down this path a number of times, and I would say that the confidence comes from trusting my own experience of my relationship with her. If you're not living in some sort of self-generated delusion, you can sense whether or not you have a connection with a woman which is strong enough so that they are likely to accept your request -- it's present in all the...

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If you could email God, what would you say? Hmm. I guess I'd want to combine various themes.... - Nice job on the Grand Canyon! - About Deuteronomy: don't you think it's time for some disclaimers? - Why are the people who are most devoted to you so often the most troublesome? - The opossum was a joke, right? - Sorry about breaking into the church when I was a kid. In hindsight, it was a mistake. - Some...

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How would you define "good judgement"? It's what happens when all of the following intersect in a single moment: - Experience - Freedom from preconceptions and biases - Thorough awareness of the exact details of the situation at hand - A concern for fairness and the welfare of all involved - A willingness to take responsibility for choosing and the consequences thereof.

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I'm a Canadian visitng my best friend and her family in Missouri. They don't want me to leave and I don't want to leave either... how can I make the US my new home legally? When you entered the country, you should have received an I94 card (attached to your passport) -- that grants you 90 days in the country. The first thing to know is DO NOT OVERSTAY this date. Leave before then, and make sure they remove that card at the border so you get "credit" for leaving the country. This is called a "visa waiver": citizens of certain countries...

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Why do I feel so lonely? Basically, because you're "attached" to your ideas about how you should be in a relationship, or how you should be surrounded by friends, or something along those lines -- the mind compares it's ideas of how things should be to how they actually are, and loneliness is the "output" of that comparison. So while that's a technically accurate statement,...

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Is there a typical stance that police officers take on gun control? Yes: keep both feet firmly planted, and hold the weapon with both hands, outstretched arms, but not "locked". When the weapon recoils, it will tend to drive your arms upward, so you should allow that but damp the recoil. Oh, and don't shoot at the good guys.

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Last year I was trying to simplify my banking, so I closed some accounts and rolled them over into a tax-free account. Now the IRS is saying I owe them $36,000 in penalties. Why do IRA's carry such heavy penalties for early withdrawl? I had no idea. There are a lot of rules about these accounts for tax purposes, you have to follow them. They want their cut of income, either now or later. If you don't follow the rules, they become unfriendly. Talk to a tax attorney, they may be able to help you sort it out with fewer penalties by negotiation.

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What would I need to Marry My girl in china? Whos from the USA and Marred a china Woman? How to do this? What info I need to take with Me. Someone who Marry a china Woman before coud You help Me please. Thinak You You need to apply for a K1 visa (fiancee visa) with the U.S. state department. (I'm assuming you're a U.S. citizen). This type of visa gives her permission to come to the U.S. for 90 days to get married, the marriage must take place in that time or she has to go back. After you're married, she can apply to become a conditional resident, and then a permanent resident. You...

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Can someone point me to a website that explains Scientology in very basic terms? Scientology's own answer to that question is here: http://www.scientologytoday.org/Common/question/pg03.htm A longer, but still rather promotional view is here: http://www.religioustolerance.org/scientol1.htm The Wikipedia article is more objective: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology Of course it has a whole army of critics, Xenu.com is a typical "clearinghouse"...

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Is it possible that a 26 yr. old man can have the mentality of a 12-15 year old? My 26 yr. old bf seriously acts like a child. Nothing about him reflects the 26 years he has. How common is this with men (to be that immature) and do most men mature by 26? (Continued from comment thread and e-mail, started here: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2569345 ) It’s not quite right to say the personality develops by 5 years… lots of development happens after that. But there’s a certain “tonal quality” that is pretty well defined in those early years. A child who is timid when they’re 5 is likely to be dealing...

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Okay so my boyfriend is atheist and i am christan. it hard at times but we get along great! i used to think that religion wouldnt affect our relationship, but in a way i was wrong. Yes, you were wrong. Religion is one of the most basic relationships in our lives... even for those who don't have religious convictions -- religion is typically the deepest kind of personal association there is for a human, with exceptions for some relationships with people. So it really is a choice of priorities. What's more important, your bond to your faith or your bond to...

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I lived in my home for 2 1/2 years but owned it for less than 5 years. Do I still have to pay a capital gains tax? I believe the answer is "no". You can exclude up to $250k ($500k for a couple) from capital gains taxes, as long as it's your primary home. You can do this every time you sell... most of the old limitations are gone.

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What's your favorite Counting Crows tune? That would be "Einstein on the Beach", ma'am!

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If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of? I'm torn between politicians and telemarketers. Do you ever have 2-for-1 sales?

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What has 5 sides? Every political or religious argument.

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What is the source of true joy and fulfillment in this life? Basically, it's a matter of being yourself. That's a big challenge, and it's a statement that is so cliche that we almost never appreciate the depth or difficulty of actually doing that. To be yourself is to be authentic, to be fully engaged with reality as it is at each moment, to create and respond spontaneously and freely, unhindered by conditioning from the past or...

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Is there software where I can block websites and programs during certain times of the day? Or can it be done on the pre-installed software on Vista? If so, how? There are many kinds of "parental control" software available, one of the more famous ones is Net Nanny: http://www.netnanny.com/

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If indeed an imbalance in the brain why are there no medications out there to deal with Homosexuality like there are for Psychosis and Schizophrenia? Who said it's an "imbalance in the brain"? Good grief! The DSM hasn't listed homosexuality as a disorder in over 3 decades. The consensus by the psychiatric and medical community is that being gay is not a personality or mental disorder, but a normal variation among the human population. Lets all get over this, shall we?

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In China, how do they hide everything on the internet they don't want their people to see? With so much about the censored Chinese internet on the internet, wouldn't something leak through? Stuff DOES leak through, the system isn't perfect. Basically, China operates a large number of Internet filtering devices which terminate connections to sites they disapprove of, and otherwise interfere with attempts to bypass the censorship. Meanwhile, a small underground army of programmers and hackers is working to combat whatever the Chinese government erects. The current hot...

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When people say that they are not on AB to amass points and climb the ladder to sage or whatever, are they just kidding themselves? Isn't that like saying that you don't play space invaders to get a big score, you just like zapping aliens? No, it's not like that at all. I'm at level 28 -- in my current account. I recently abandoned an account at level 58, and before that I abandoned an account at level 45. The level 45 account was "only" at that level because I had the staff reset my points to zero 4 times in the first 5 months of 2007. Normally I operate with the points checkbox turned off so it...

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Is the Greenhouse effect highly significant as to take the so-called "GLOBAL WARMING" with any seriousness, or is that just another liberal hoax? The vast majority of climatologists agree that the world is getting warmer, and that a primary cause is the CO2 emissions of human beings. The evidence and argument are compelling. There is also a strong disinformation campaign still operating by a set of vested interests such as the energy companies, large business interests, and a few fringe scientists who have their public reputations on...

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AB user RFlagg's father recently died. Would any fellow users like to offer moral support? Very sorry to hear that RFlagg. Best wishes to you and your family, may you grieve and heal and remember him well.

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Is there some possible way for the athiestards and the fundies to reach an agreement and stop all the insulting questions? Come on here, I'm an atheist, but this is just getting annoying with all the anti-religion/anti-atheist questions. So Peace? Before you can have peace, you have to make peace with conflict -- i.e. you have to appreciate conflict for what it is and where it comes from. There's nothing "wrong" with conflict, it's a byproduct of the way we think about ourselves and others and the we relate to concepts and views, etc. To make conflict the enemy is to just do more of the same at the next level of...

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Is it possible that a 26 yr. old man can have the mentality of a 12-15 year old? My 26 yr. old bf seriously acts like a child. Nothing about him reflects the 26 years he has. How common is this with men (to be that immature) and do most men mature by 26? Men tend to develop emotionally later than women, it's true. But it's a "Bell curve", not an absolute. Some men are ahead of the curve, some behind. This is why many women tend to prefer older men -- it's easier to get a good matchup on maturity level. All I can say about your relationship is you have a choice: trying to make him grow up is the road to...

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1 Is it easy for you to make friends? Why? Yes, it's easy for me to make friends. Here's what I learned about this: it's about being able to get your attention off of yourself and on to the other person. This sounds easy, but for most of us it isn't: our minds are pretty much preoccupied with "me" -- even when it seems like we're listening to others, we're actually just waiting for them to...

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Any tips for a teen trying to clean her room that looks like a tornado has went through it or like an animal lives in it? Well... if you're serious!!? Remove everything but the heavy furniture. I mean everything -- empty out the drawers, the closet, anything light enough to carry, and stack it outside in the hall or another room (explain this to your parents first!). Then sort it. Things you really want and use on a regular basis go back into the room, put away neatly. Things you want but don't...

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What do you do, when you don't know what to do? I work on getting my mind as quiet as possible -- sitting quietly, just letting the thoughts and feelings come and go. That produces a bit of "altitude": a broader perspective which allows a more intuitive and balanced kind of intelligence to decide what needs to happen. Of course, that assumes I don't get caught up in my upset or reaction first :)

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How do i make a folder invisible without using the conventional show/hide method of folder options? You can't really make it invisible, but you can make it inaccessible to other users, just by restricting the permissions with the Security tab on the Properties dialog. Then you will be the only person who has access to the folder, everyone else will get "Access denied". Obviously you need to lock your desktop every time you leave the computer unattended while others are...

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Vdo you think L. Ron Hubbard (the founder of scientology) was insane? No, greed and selfishness are not personality disorders.

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Looks like the fabulous Molecule has just made Sage! Who would like to help me in offering a big Congratulations? I'm a big Molecule fan... she's intelligent, friendly, generous, and fun. I say we clone her and produce a whole substance, or split her into atoms so we have more!

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I have heard it said that war helps to boost the economy. This just does not sound logical to me, but would you say that this is a) always the case , b) never the case , or c) sometimes the case? Why? No, the net effect is definitely negative, and the logic is simple: - The country typically has to borrow to finance the war, this produces debt which has a long term negative effect on the economy; - It is true that the removal of soldiers from the producing economy creates a labor shortage which increases the number of jobs available (that's the positive effect). However, the...

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Is there an accent that you find to be a big turn-on? Yes, a very specific accent, in fact! This one does it for me every time: http://www.mediafire.com/?4ixgtzn1zgv

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I had a kid with my ex who had a kid of her own, the whole time we were together I just wished me and my daughter could have our own life and I think I subconciously sabatoged our relationship to get that, am I a horrible person? No, you're a human being. There's a funny thing about the past: nobody can do anything about it -- except tell the truth. If you can do that, you're free. But it's much trickier than it sounds sometimes, and that's what you're currently engaged in... trying to sort out the truth. But the truth never takes the form of "Person X is a jerk"....

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I'm positive of my (homo)sexuality. It has gotten to the point where I am ready, and I HAVE to tell someone. It's killing me. But I also know my friends and family are not ready. To tell would do too much harm. How do I handle this? Why do you have to tell anybody? Why is it killing you? Any time you have some irresistible urge, it's probably a good idea to restrain yourself until you understand what's going on, and can get "centered" so that you can make a conscious and well-informed choice about the right action to take, rather than being driven by some semi-conscious urge that you don't...

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If several laptops connect to the internet using a wireless router is there any way for someone on one of the machines to view the internet explorer browsing history of someone else? Yes, but it's not about being connected to the Internet, it's about being able to log on to the machine which contains the history. If (for example) user A has an account on user B's machine, or knows user A's password, they will be able to access A's computer and examine the browser history.

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My ticket does not match my passport name. Will changing this be a problem? I've traveled with slight mismatches (i.e. missing middle initial, etc). But if your passport has a completely different name you will need to change that ticket, and the airline isn't likely to cooperate unless you can demonstrate that you're the same person listed on the ticket.

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What do people mean when they say that memory is associative? It just means that accessing one memory tends to trigger others -- e.g. if you remember your third grade teacher, and her name was Mrs. Janes, you might think of Janes Information Group or you might think of how your daughter cut her lip in 3rd grade or you might think of a girl you liked in 3rd grade, etc. These memories are "associated" with each other.

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My husband just laughs when I told him people think he is an @sshole for treating me poorly. A friend stood up to him and called the police on my behalf. He now says that I should not have this friend and the marriage can continue. What should I do? If he's treating you poorly and telling you who you can have as friends, I think this marriage is eating your soul. Is that worth it? Sometimes it's a very tough call, if children are involved. But really... is this what you wanted when you got married?

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Does anyone think we need an answerbag dictionary? There is a glossary of sorts: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/338803

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Why do we organise things hierarchically? It's a natural ability of the mind to form abstractions, and then abstractions of abstractions. It's the mind's way of economizing resources -- dealing with details consumes a lot of effort, but abstractions are much easier to deal with. Concepts can be written down, symbolically manipulated, compared, etc. They're very handy. Once you've formed...

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I threw oil-based lubricant all over my boyfriend's truck and now there is a shiny rainbow mirage all over it. His truck is black and it basically looks ruined. He went through a regular car wash but it didn't come off - it made it worse Really this is a matter of getting enough warm water and soap working. The car wash is very mild soap. It will take time and effort, but lubricant will lose and soap will win, and the paint will be fine. Use dishwashing liquid, dilute it in a bucket of warm water. Repeat until it's all gone or until you really don't love him anymore, whichever comes first.

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My husband and I filed our 2008 income taxes but he forgot to include my ss#. Now I am worried I won't be in the comupter to get my $600 gift refund. What should I do? Probably your tax return processing will be delayed. Either the IRS will figure out the missing SSA# and correct it for you, or (more likely) they'll send you a notice that your return is incomplete and require you to fix it. I don't think this will affect your tax rebate eligibility, but may delay it.

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"love is a crazy thing, you see it in movies, you hear about it in songs, you read about it in books, but to actually be in love, its unbelievable." I was in the mall and i heard a guy say that to one of his friends, what do you think of it? He's right, certainly. It's not an original insight though! :)

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Designer Boxes business, how do I get started? I want to make designer boxes, but I need help with the business side of things, and especially with the 'industry' if there is one. The first step is to assess the market. Who else is selling these? How many competitors are there? What do you have that isn't already available? Who buys them? What do they want that they're not getting, or what can you get them to want that they're not currently wanting? Marketing is the process of understanding your customer and why they want your product and why your...

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What is the best way to pick up a woman at a bar? Get her really drunk or bullshit a lot? It's the same as any other relationship: be interested in her, but not pushy or creepy. ALL relationships move or die on the personal connection: that sense of being a "we" with the other person, which occurs when there is mutual appreciation. The presence of alcohol and loud music actually interferes with this process, but the alcohol loosens the inhibitions enough that...

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How do you remove a soul from someones body without killing them? Get them to believe that climbing the leaderboard is worth their heart and soul and all their free time.

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Since you have been on AB, what would you say is one of the biggest changes, was it for the better? I think by far the "turning point" for AB was Nov 14, 2006 -- the day the site was dramatically revised to implement the current points / rating system. Prior to that, the only thing you could do was give a "flag" to an answer, the choices were "Helpful", "Somewhat helpful", and "Not Helpful". The ranking of a user was expressed as a grade...

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When someone rides their bike with no hands I automatically assume they're showboating. What are some signs of showboating to you? 1- Pulling up to the recycling center with 4 bags of empty soda cans... in your Hummer 2- Taking your perfectly good big-box wide screen TV set to the thrift store donation center because you just bought a plasma screen 3- Shopping for jewelry at K-mart 4- Wearing one of those heavy knit caps pulled down over your ears on a hot August day (to look "streetwise") 5- Teen...

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GOD made a promise not to flood the earth...Rainbows are therefore supposedly a "gift/divine"... If rainbows are a scientific phenomenon and are proven to be on all other planets---THEN THIS IS PROOF THAT SCIENCE--NOT GOD Made Rainbows...????Help me...? Well this is just one of many examples of the weirdness that occurs if you take these things literally and start trying to do "laboratory" logic on them.

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Who likes to join me in congratulating Teasdale-the sage? I don't know her well, but I've noticed she asks a lot of good questions! That's the fuel that drives the engine here, so it's always welcome. Congratulations!

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The lovely 'LADY FUSCHIA' has just made MAESTRO - could we all give her a 'high five' to congratulate her? Wow, just wow! If anybody has ever qualifed as "underrated" on AB, it has to be Fuschia. When I first joined, she and Jodie ruled the roost (before points and ratings), and I remember thinking "damn these ladies are smart". Now after all this time, she's a Maestro. I don't know whether to celebrate the achievement, or lament the weirdness that it took so...

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How do atheist feel about Joseph Stalin? Pretty much everyone - atheist or otherwise - agrees that Stalin was an evil tyrant. The fact that he was an atheist is completely irrelevant. That kind of evil doesn't care what your religious orientation is.

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I am paralyzed. afraid, stuck and unable to move ahead in my life. I can't stand my husband, I've been hurt too much. We just went to counselling, but it is a long road ahead. I am not sure what to do, divorce or continue suffering. Help? Any time you're stuck, the first thing you should do is nothing. What that means is: don't act out of a reaction to being stuck. Your actions should come from the possibility of the future you want to move towards, not as a reaction to a sense of powerlessness, frustration, and pain. So where does a sense of possibility come from? Where will you find a new future? The answer...

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My computer uses Windows Millennium 2000. I want an Mp3 player that doesn't say the requirements are Vista or the one before that (?). Want can I do besides buy a new computer? You can try the free version of Winamp -- it used to support Windows ME, the web site isn't really explicit anymore about whether that is still supported. http://www.winamp.com/player Really, you should upgrade your computer to Windows XP (NOT Vista!!). You may have to add memory for that to work, but it's a much better operating system than ME, and you're going to find...

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What is your greatest accomplishment? Finding the perfect person to love.

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Men only: Do you ever pee sitting down? If so, why, and how often? Like, I do it sometimes when I'm lazy, or at night, when I want to avoid turning on the light to help me aim. I can't believe I'm answering this! I never stand up to pee at a toilet in a private home, my own or others (as long as it's being maintained). Simply put, making someone else clean up your splash is rude, and if it's my toilet I really don't want the floor decorated in that way.

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I am always dreaming of getting in arguments or physically hurting my boyfriend. what could this mean? is it foretelling of bad things to come? I don't know that dream analysis is anything more than speculation and lucky guesses at best, I wouldn't put a lot of effort into studying my dreams unless they contained very specific helpful information like stock tips! Nothing fortells the future like the present: what are your real feelings about him? What are those thoughts that just flit through your mind and then get...

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Are the natural jews today God's chosen people? Yes, of course they are. So is everyone else, though.

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We can't talk at all without fighting or cutting the other one off. 3 kids, 13 years later, 1 house, 1 car, 1 cat, 1 dog and I really can't forgive him for being such a controlling ass_ _ _ _. I am afraid to leave, what can I do? What is "afraid to leave", exactly? Are you concerned about being able to raise the kids without him, or financial support? It is hard, but many others have done it and if the marriage has significant financial assets you shouldn't be destitute. Are you afraid of being alone? Afraid to acknowledge that it's failed? Have you tried counseling? Sorry, more questions...

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What's up with all the repeat avatar questions today? AB has been having a technical problem, some folks' avatars are showing up as blue bags. It causes consternation and controversy :)

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How do you rebuild your life when you know you would be better moving away from your family because its do messed up and you've split from your boyfriend of 5years. It sounds like your real challenge is that you see yourself as isolated... from your family and your boyfriend, and perhaps from everyone else too. For most of us, life seems pointless without relationships: you have to have someone to care about to give meaning to your daily activities, it's just no fun going through the motions each day merely for your own comfort, safety, or...

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What is the sexiest thing about your S/O? Hmm... that's a pretty long list. I'll get back to you.

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What is a spinning class? It's a room full of people sitting on stationary bikes pretending to go somewhere together while the "instructor" yells at them to go faster, and Guns n' Roses screams through the stereo system. I always walk past that room in the gym quickly, hoping not to get any of it on me.

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At what point do you consider a friend "needy"? Almost everyone is needy at some point, so it's a question of degree and frequency. If it seems that someone is just always taking and never giving -- i.e. all of their attention is on themselves all the time and they just can't get interested in others, that would be an extreme case. The opposite extreme is someone who gives very little attention to themselves, always focusing...

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How do you put memory on your computer? will new memory make it faster? If you don't know how to do this, it's better to let the shop or an experienced friend handle the job. If your computer is low on memory, adding more can make a huge difference in speed. If your computer isn't low on memory, or only a little bit low, it won't make much difference. For most people using Windows XP, 1 GB (1024 MB) is plenty. If you're using the...

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My Girlfriend is Cheating on me. She said last night she wasn't, but I heard her talking to the guy twice on the phone and she said she wasn't, but she was in the kitchen talking. She said she hasn't seen the guy since work, but I found a picture... Nobody can really tell you what you should do about your relationship, you're the one who has to make your own choices and be responsible for the rewards and consequences, and you're the only one who knows the details of your situation. In general, I think if someone is cheating it points to serious weakness in the relationship at least. Can a relationship be saved after that?...

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Are you satisfied with the no. of points you gained today?Be honest!! It's been at least a year since I noticed how many points I received in a day. Lets just say the thrill wears off :)

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Do you feel that you are looking forward to your AB prime, currently in your AB prime, or have you passed your AB prime? Why do you feel that way? Hehe! Waaaayy past my prime.

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Without referencing anything that has to do with religion, what is our purpose here in life? Basically, I see it as a 2-stage thing: the first stage is about coming to understand who and what we really are. In Zen, that's sometimes called "recovering your true nature". Another way to say it is that it's about "waking up" -- if you consider that the way we normally live our lives is fairly unconscious (operating out of past conditioning and rigid /...

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Is anyone else feeling that AB has become more of popularity contest, is it sooooo important to be on the right list of who's who? I thought AB was for honest answers to honest questions, was I wrong? Yes, you were wrong! :) Seriously, this is only one aspect of what goes on on Answerbag, and it's been happening for at least the 18 months I've been here, it's not new. Human beings like to be liked, they like attention, they like to be popular. Not everybody cares about this, the level of craving for popularity varies by individual, and it varies for a single individual...

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Do you think that people should be able to just blindly spew out their opinions without having to hear what other people think about their opinions? Well of course people have a right to say what they wish and listen or not listen to others. So I would be opposed to infringing those rights, they're pretty fundamental.

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How long should you wait for employers to call you before you say " What the F*ck is wrong with me ? " I 'm looking for a job and I've submitted lots of apps but I'm starting to feel like a total loser 'cause no one is calling me back ! There's lots of advice on how to improve your job-hunting skills, so I'll leave that topic alone, other than to say the web has lots of resources if you google "job hunting skills". But I think your psychological reaction is worth poking at a bit -- "what the f*ck is wrong with me?" isn't ever going to be a helpful question, but it's very tempting to...

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How can you connect a router to both a pc and a laptop? A typical consumer router has multiple connectors on the back. The basic idea is that you plug the router into your modem (the box that the cable company or DSL provider supplied you with), and then you plug your computer(s) into the router. If it's a wireless router, you can do both: some computers can connect over the wireless, while some are connected via wires plugged into the...

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I lost my mother when i was 17 to lung cancer she only lived 3 months after being diagnosed. I am 22 now but i feel completely lost still and have 2 children of my own now. How do i go on with my life. It's not normal to be this concerned with your mother's death 5 years after it happened. I think it's likely that you're not simply grieving her anymore, there's some other kind of "clinging" going on. It's hard to say more without knowing a lot more about you, I can only speculate: perhaps you felt robbed of part of your childhood or you're angry...

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In total, how many questions have been asked on AB thusfar? Your question is #659606 (which I know by simply looking at the address bar in my browser) -- the /q_view/{number} part of the address is the ID of the question, which counts up by 1 every time a question is asked. The same goes for profile ID's and answer ID's -- they're assigned sequentially by the Answerbag database.

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Does anyone have any info on Patent Companies? Such as InventHelp or similar firms. We have perfected an invention that should be marketed but we are leery about giving our data to strangers I don't think you have much to fear from these companies -- they're not likely to steal your invention. However, they may not be as helpful as you'd like either: getting a patent isn't the big challenge... it's a pain in the rear, but still a fairly straightforward process. The real problem is making money from your invention, there are many barriers to success, and...

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I've been with my g/f for 20 months now and she means absolutly everything to me, when we first got together we hardly ever fought, but now it seems like she gets mad over everything, and it hurts, i hate it so much what should i do? I agree with AnonymousGirl (http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2546515), you need to post more details, I'm sure she doesn't get mad over everything -- when someone gets angry, there are specific causes. One thing that you might ask yourself also: are you treating her with adequate respect? A lot of fights in relationships start because one party (or both) is "crossing the...

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Does anyone else enjoy arguing/debating with other people? Yes, I enjoy it far too much actually. I'm working on restraining that, it's rarely helpful.

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My mother-in-law is on full disability and widowed. She just bought a new house, can she deduct her mortgage interest on her tax return? Thanks I believe the only limitation on mortgage interest deduction is for very-high-income taxpayers. She should be fine, but check www.irs.gov to be positive.

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My mom told me there would be days like this. What kind of day is 'like this' for you? I suppose that would be days where it seems like life has conspired to ensure that all my plans will go awry: the kitchen drain leaks, I call the plumber, the plumber shows up and doesn't have the right wrench. Meanwhile I've decided to work from home to wait for the plumber, but the Internet is down. I call in to work to tell the boss, but the line is busy, because he's...

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Is it ok to make racial jokes about your OWN race ??? (o . O) im totally confused caus i hav a friend who always makes pretty shocking jokes about his own race and it makes me feel uncomfortable.. i duno why. It's called self-deprecating humor. Usually it's an attempt to defuse racial tension by making fun of the stereotypes of one's own race. If this is making you uncomfortable, it could be that your friend isn't really doing a good job of this kind of humor, which is a bit tricky. Many people are sensitive about race, you have to be pretty skilled to poke fun at it without...

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Would you train someone who after training would be your boss? They have no previous experience. I wouldn't have a personal rule that says "never do this". Every situation is different: perhaps I don't want to be the boss (which is actually the case in my current job, I'm satisfied with it as-is). If it's an ego concern ("how dare they promote him/her over me"), that's something I would hope to be wise enough to take up in the mirror: why am...

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After replacing my boot drive I made the old drive a slave on drive e: then tried to rename the My Documents folder but it won't let me do it. Do you have any ideas how I might do this? I assume you mean that you're trying to rename the e:/Documents and Settings/{username}/My Documents folder, yes? I believe you'll find that the permissions on that folder are the problem -- Windows locks down the permissions on user profile folders so that users cannot log in and access the files of other users. You're in an unusual situation, because when you replaced...

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Does it annoy you when you find that somebody has written (with their finger) "wash me" on your car/truck? Annoy, no... confuse... yes! Why do they want me to wash them? Why can't they wash themselves? Nearly everyone I know has access to a shower or tub, and soap. The only thing I can figure is this may be some meme that's popular among the homeless, begging others for a sponge bath perhaps. It's confusing, definitely.

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I cannot keep my head above water financially. Even when I balance my checkbook, I can't stop myself from spending. I have a problem, and I can't get myself caught up, does anyone have any ideas? Yeah, find out what exactly is going on that has you do this: awareness is the key to solving any inexplicable/problematic behavior. It's much like fixing a malfunctioning machine -- until you understand EXACTLY what is going on, all your efforts to solve the problem are relatively random.   The main tool for awareness is self-observation... learning how to pay careful attention to...

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Why do SOME theists need to convert atheists to their religion? Why do SOME atheists need to convince theists that God does not exist (yes, there are some)? Why do the individuals on BOTH sides who do this feel this need? From my perspective, this alway boils down to one thing: false identity. We all have opinions and beliefs, but the need to promote them and defend them comes from a very specific source -- humans have the tendency to define their identity in terms of fixed structures, such as beliefs and opinions. When "I am my beliefs" occurs, it's only natural that the mind and body's...

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Do you believe in being nice to newbies or do you think they should get their feet wet like many of us did persevering the slings and arrows of being novices on AB? I will usually give someone some extra slack early on, and tolerate (for example) a higher degree of rude behavior, jumping to unwarranted conclusions, failing to listen, attention-seeking, and other common offenses. I know when people start on AB, they often don't feel connected to others, and that sense of isolation can make someone more bold and rude than they would be with friends at...

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Do u think i should go back2 a guy who make me have an abortion4 him when i didn't want2?but this guy i have been involved with him sexually4 2 years! he tell me cares but i know i love him.dont u think i should ask him4a better relalationship or giveup? If he really made you have an abortion (which is impossible, btw -- you're the one who has to request it and consent to it, but that's another matter), you should avoid him like the plague. Whatever feelings you have for him are not your friends.

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Does anyone know when the AB staff plans of fixing the problem with us not being able to access all the Q & A's in our profile? It's really irritating. I'm not aware of any problem... I'm able to access all of my Q&A. What specifically is failing?

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I asked a girl out on msn and she said no is msn a bad or good move? and what do you suggest? There are many ways to ask a girl out, but if you're trying to find the right words you're in the wrong neighborhood. The first thing to do in any relationship -- BEFORE you start making any plans -- is to locate your connection to the other person. That means that there is a mutual appreciation present when you're with that person -- you can sense that they like and...

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I was molested and raped several times as a child/teenager. i've tried a few different counselors, but none of them have stuck. is it ok that i've never gotten long-term help for this, or should i find another counselor and try again? The question is to what degree is the result of these incidents affecting your life now? Only you can answer that. If you're well-adjusted and resilient, it's possible that you don't really need much here. Do you have trouble bonding with men? Do you notice significant self-esteem issues? What is your sex life like now? Can you love another person wholeheartedly, or do...

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Does anyone know any of the Answerbag staff personally? I've met Joel, Rich, and Sunny, and talked online with Jon. As far as I know, no user has met any others from the staff, but a number of users have met the first three.

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What is the mass of an object getting on a neutrally buoyant hot air balloon? The mass of an object doesn't depend on whether it's on the ground or in the balloon. It's mass is just a measure of how much matter the object has.

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If compromising your convictions is a sin, would you be sinning by being politically correct, since it is a compromise? Compromising your convictions is not a sin: having the wrong convictions is. Political correctness isn't well defined. If you mean "being opposed to bigotry", that's a good thing. If you mean "being unable to speak in clear language about something", that's a problem.

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Help! I'm going out for my dad's birthday tonight and I detest his white trash wife and her family. What are some good white trash topics of conversation, so I at least know what to say to them? (NASCAR, hunting, etc) Well if you really want the evening to go well, you might consider lightening up on the attitude a bit. Whatever their shortcomings, they are human beings too. With the approach you have, nothing good will happen -- your attitude towards them will prevent any real communication. In order to get along with others, the very first thing you need to do is grant them some respect. Since...

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If we are the only ones in control of our own mind, why is it so hard to do what we tell ourselves we should do? That's a great question. There's confusion about this matter because there's confusion about what the mind is and what the "self" is. Try this experiment: sit in a chair. Sit up straight, turn off all TV's and distractions, and just sit there for 5 minutes. Don't have any thoughts, just sit quietly and keep your attention focused on here-and-now. If...

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Ever dealt with a stubborn Scientologist in the workplace? How did you deal with a person recruiting at work? Especially when "Hell No!" is not working. Do you tell HR? If you want to try a different tack, get inscrutible! "Answer questions, acknowledge statements" is the basic strategy. If they say something, you say "got it", or "I understand", but volunteer nothing further. If they ask you a question, you answer if it's a simple factual thing, or decline to answer with a polite "I'm sorry, but I'm not...

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A mean boss - never satisfied, loving to humiliate those reporting to him with public critisism, insults and humiliation; it seems he has only one response to everything - rage. How would you handle him while looking for another job? I would probably focus on documentation: keeping careful notes of what happened, dates, times, etc. If he's really out of control, it may be pointless to "push back", but a good trail of evidence can be very handy if there are legal proceedings later, or if I need to go over his head to management, etc. But definitely keep up the hunt for that other job!

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Is there a website where spelling and grammar can be learned? Yeah, right here. We gots a ton of volunteer grammar coaches who can be counted on to correct and downrate continuously until you get it right. It's sort of "grammar boot camp".

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Which ABer would you love to play Trivial Pursuit with? Who would win? I think that would be ImAlec. I've always wanted to see how he behaves under pressure... would that enormous brain melt down, or would he rise to the occasion and be a quick-witted fighter? I'd like to see him get a little drunk first just to add challenge, though. Obviously he would win.

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Do western people need something to believe in now that the Church has less influence and power in their lives? Would it help if the Church became more spiritual, less literal in their teachings, like Buddhists, say? I think that the erosion of traditional religious authority has indeed raised the anxiety level for many people -- this is the postmodern angst that drives fundamentalism these days: "everything is chaotic, lets go back to that Old Time Religion to get some stability". However, as a Buddhist I would challenge the statement that people should become "more spiritual and less...

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How to stop spam emails? You can't stop them altogether if your email address is well known, but a good way to stop most of them is to use Gmail (www.gmail.com) and choose an unusual user name so that the automated robots can't just "blast" at all predictable names (e.g. don't do "johnsmith@gmail.com", do "johnsmith2249@gmail.com") If you don't want to actually use...

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You operate a train switch. There is a Y intersection and you must choose. If you send the train down one leg It will kill your brother. if you send it down the other it will kill 5 people you do not know. What do you do? Finally, I can get back at him for stealing my G.I. Joe!! :)

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If I am tring to concive should i be taking prenatal vitimans and or folic acid to improve my chances of conception? I don't think these vitamins have any effect on your ability to conceive. They are intended to help the fetus get proper nutrition, but you gotta produce the fetus first :)

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My husband and I are getting separated and we both want his name off the mortgage and deed/title. He wants to leave. How do we get his name off the mortgage (almost paid off), so the house is mine and he is not obligated to pay the remaining pymts? Basically you have to refinance the property to pay off the original loan. The original lender has no incentive to take your husband off the loan -- they LIKE to have people on the loan, because that's who they go after for payment: more borrowers means a better chance of getting their money. So if you can qualify for the loan on your own income, that's how you get his name off --...

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Im having trouble wiring up my subwoofers, its not so much the subs that are a problem. its when i hook up my mids and highs to the other amp i have set up there is a whistle that increases as i accelerate or hit the gas. This is ignition noise being amplified by the stereo. Most likely it is coming in on the power line to the amplifier (either the main unit in the dash, or an aux amp if you have one). Talk to your local car stereo shop, and tell them what's happening. They will sell you a power line filter... basically a bunch of capacitors and/or inductors which smooth out the ignition noise so it...

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Can you make a credit card payment with that same credit card? Yes, if you do it indirectly: get a cash advance on the credit card, deposit that in your checking account, then write a check to pay the credit card. Of course, this is really a desperate and expensive way to go.

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Is the rest of the world totally gutless by letting China get away with what they are doing in Tibet?... why no sanctions from The United Nations or the rest of the free world? I don't think that's much of a mystery: fear and greed generally account for most anomalies in world affairs. China is big and powerful, militarily and economically. Nobody wants to lose their markets for their goods in China, and nobody wants to be cut out of the potential boon represented by Chinese growth. Nobody wants to tangle with China militarily. Probably the most...

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I love my boyfriend but i dont want to loose him and i have this fellin that he is cheating on me what should i do break his HEART? That is one mixed up relationship: you love him, but you think he's cheating, so you want to break his heart? Here's the only advice worth giving: get out of that relationship, and don't have any more relationships until you get yourself straight about the difference between love and "entanglement". This is an entanglement, not love. That is, it's about your...

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How come, for the last 10 minutes or so, I can ask a question, but if I try to answer one my answer disappears and AB asks me to sign in again? Sounds like you caught SSOS (Spontaneous SignOff Syndrome). Clear your browser's cookies for answerbag.com and try again.

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A new car dealer told me he needs my social security number and to run a credit check on me even though I was paying cash because of the Patriot Act. Is this true? I don't think it has anything to do with the Patriot act, or even needing to run a credit check. Large cash transactions tend to draw attention from the tax authorities, and there are lots of rules about what has to be reported. That's aimed at money laundering and drug dealers, etc. Organized crime. I can think of no reason he would need to run a credit check, but he may need to...

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Whom should I congratulate? Those who start these things get a load of points! Well, you could congratulate yourself on having re-observed that which has been observed many times! :) Second only to aggressive moderating, congratulating other users is the fastest way to accumulate points. But there's a backlash if you go around congratulating people who aren't actually your friends... folks who know that will see what you're really up to. So you have to...

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Have you ever thought you really loved someone, and then they say or do something that makes the feeling completely disapear? Yes, that happens all the time. That's why it's a mistake to think of love as being primarily a *feeling*, because feelings come and go like the weather. If you think love is a feeling, you'll get all worked up about those comings and goings, and overreact constantly... either trying to hang on to the feeling of love, or trying to get it back if it's gone, or getting...

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Why is it that when i was with my boyfriend I wasn't happy and now that he broke up with him im not happy either? I cant be happy with him or without him. I'm an emotional wreck. Please help. Well you're learning something very important: nobody else can make you happy. That's worth the price of admission, definitely -- although it doesn't solve your basic problem, yes? The most important job you have in life is to be yourself, and that's a lot more challenging than most people realize. What does it mean to "be yourself"? Who are you, and how...

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Do you know where can i find some good and free program that will make my computer faster? There isn't much that a program can do to speed up your computer. In most cases, the most efficient way to make your computer run faster is to get more memory. The reason this works is because if your computer doesn't have enough memory, the operating system has to "swap" memory blocks to disk when programs are running, and that makes a huge difference in performance. ...

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If your mortgage lender files chapter 11, are you still bound to any prepayment penalties that were literally slipped in at signing when the original contract said no prepayment penalties, or can you refinance at this point and choose a ne The lender's financial status doesn't affect YOUR contract... they may sell the note to another company, etc., and if the paper is otherwise legal you're still bound by the terms of that contract. The fact that they slipped it in at the last minute doesn't save you from obligation -- in theory, you're supposed to read every word of the 9,000,000 pages you're...

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If a girl really likes a guy and has been patiently waiting for the guy to make a move but he hasnt yet should she make a move? If so what should she do? It's almost always better to have some say in how your own life goes, so yes! Waiting for others to get the hint and do what you want is a low-productivity lifestyle. There are ways to let him know you're interested without being too aggressive: the main thing is to keep it "light"... a little bit of fun, a little bit of teasing, but don't let the message get lost...

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Im really depressed about mi wieght im 5 "1 and i weigh 9 stone 10 lbs. What should i do? There's two distinct issues here: your weight and your depression. They're sort of linked, but not completely -- you can be overweight and not depressed, or you can be depressed and not overweight. While you may be able to work on your weight and make progress, and that will likely help you feel better about yourself, that's still sort of a "band aid" solution....

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Recently after four years of employment in the sales industry the owner of our company made us fill out a waiver form stating, " If I ever terminated my employment or was fired" we could not work in the same industry for six months. Is this legal? I doubt that it's legal. Non-compete agreements (which is what this is called) are a sticky area, but what I've seen is that if the agreement is "narrowly focused" -- i.e. "you can't go to work for these specific competitors" AND it's agreed to BEFORE you take employment, it's more likely to be enforceable than if it's general... "you...

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Okay if I let you guys know that as of yesterday: I AM CANCER FREE? Excellent news, MM!

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I have been hit, bit and pinched by a 6 year old, is it ok to feel like I am going to snap, or should I let it go because he is 6 (this is a kid I sit)? You shouldn't snap, and you shouldn't let them do that. You need to enforce boundaries with the child, to let them know what is and is not acceptable. If they do it anyway, gradually increase the consequences for the behavior, but keep it safe and reasonable -- i.e. a "time out" standing in the corner for 5 minutes, or withholding a privilege, etc. Try to avoid losing...

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At what age becomes a girl a woman? I just became 24, and i still feel like a little girl. Both "girl" and "woman" are abstractions. There's no fixed definition for what is a girl or what is a woman, you'll get a dozen different answers from a dozen people, because it's something that depends on your perspective. If it bothers you to feel like a little girl, that's something worth exploring. Why does it bother you? What expectations do...

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Do i really mean nothing on this earth? That's a great question, unless you're asking it because you're upset about being "nothing" -- then it's just about getting reassurance or something. If you ask that question and everybody provides you with positive feedback, and you walk away happy for a few days, the question has made no difference whatsoever. You might as well have just popped a pill or had...

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Does AB allow questions from one member to make a mockery of other members faiths? It is a constant barrage of insulting questions and I find it offensive. If it's really over-the-top, you can flag it. But this sort of thing has always happened on AB, and someone who is persistent isn't going to be deterred by a few flagged questions. You can complain to the staff (admin@answerbag.com), and they may pbox the user if the case is egregious. But the best response is to either ignore this person or take the high road in your...

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I have Plantar Fasciitis and Hip Bursitis and have to stand all day at work. Insoles have helped the pain but not enough. Any tips? I've had many bouts with plantar fasciitis, and found that stretching my calf muscles every time I get up after a long sit (or lying down) really helps a lot. I plant my foot on the floor and lean my knee forward, usually supporting my weight on a wall. Holding that position, where I can feel the strain in the calf and tendon, helps to reduce the strain on the fascia in the foot. ...

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Do religions think atheist will all go to hell? No. In particular, Buddhism does not have the concept of Hell or the afterlife, nor does it require anyone to hold a belief in God.

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What do you think of when I say BUDDHIST? Someone who wants to be aware.

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Looking back, which troll do you miss most? That would be Bow2theLord: an angry man with a virulent temper, the I.Q. of a meatball, a fed-up wife who left with the kids to escape his "corrections from God", and a strong penchant to pick on AntigoneRising... who invariably was able to blow him back against the wall with one or two sentences, she being much brighter than he. From a more innocent time on Answerbag :)

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How much RAM would you have to have installed before you would not see any speed increase including with a 64-bit operating system? There's no absolute answer: you need enough RAM so that the operating system doesn't have to do "paging". Paging is when the OS has to read or write memory from disk because there isn't enough real memory to accommodate all of the requests by applications.

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My female friends, my sister and others that know me don't think much of my husband of whom I have 3 kids with. I have tried to get him to go to counselling, offered him books and lots of information on how to be a better husband, and it's not better,WHY? I think it's odd that you've emphasized what others think of your husband, and mentioned nothing about what he's done or hasn't done that makes him unsuitable. Without lots of details about your relationship, any answer you get here will be nearly worthless.

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I know someone who was recently admitted into the psych ward at a local hospital......How long will they keep her? What are their policies about determining such things? and is there anything I can do, to make sure she stays until she's better? There's no general answer, it depends on her condition, the hospital and doctors, her financial situation, etc. A few people check in and never check out again. Most are there for a week or two and then get discharged with medication. Some are in overnight. Some are in for months. There probably isn't much you can do about her situation except visit or call and be a good...

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What teams are you picking to make the 2008 N.C.A.A. Men’s Basketball Final Four? UCLA, UCLA, UCLA, and UCLA. (I don't like to lose).

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My boyfriend likes to hug... but he squeezes my stomach sometimes really hard. I tell him it is uncomfortable and he shouldn't do it. He insists it is his way of "showing me love". Could he do damage to my insides? I doubt he'll damage your insides, but he'll damage your relationship if he doesn't honor your request on this matter. There's a word for this: "boundaries". Everybody in a relationship needs to know what their boundaries are and stand up for themselves when their partner crosses the line. This sounds like such a case. Insist that he honor your request, and...

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Who are you? Nobody. But not nobody like "person with low self esteem"... just nobody at all. Not good, not bad, not special, not ordinary. Not wise, not foolish, not some personality, not some history, not some body or mind or soul or anything like that. Not even empty space. And that's what makes me somebody.

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I suddenly don't know what I believe anymore as far as religion is concerned. What do you believe? Maybe I can just pick one. Actually the best thing you can do with beliefs is to keep them all at some distance. Why? Because they all cloud the mind. Beliefs are just ideas: concepts and explanations. They aren't reality, they're stories ABOUT reality. While it's fine to have stories about reality, it's a problem to take one of those stories and wrap it around your whole mind and identity,...

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Is there a limit to your friends list, because it will not let me add any more people and there are three slots left, i dont know why, it will not approve? Many people have 3-4 pages of friends or more, you're nowhere close to that. There's no limit that I know of, and I'm sure you haven't hit it.

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How to keep yourself happy? I don't find it necessary to keep myself happy. And in fact, I've noticed that my efforts to be happier tend to be counter-productive. Happiness seems to occur quite naturally on it's own if I focus on certain very specific things, such as letting go of my expectations about how life should be, letting go of fixed ideas about who I am, and facing my problems directly instead...

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As a child i used to get smacked because i desearved it, its done me no harm and no doubt many other people no harm to nowadays its illegal to smack your child, do you agree or do you think the goverenment has too much say on what parents can & cant do How do you know it's done you no harm? If you were (for example) having trouble bonding with others, would you recognize the symptoms? Or would you just think "I'm normal, some people are too mushy..." Corporal punishment has been debated a lot on Answerbag, if you search for that phrase you'll find many of the previous debates. My own view is that it can be done...

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Are there any spanish speakers out there? I'm just curious to know how many are on AB...? Barcaluv67 is from Guatemala, he speaks Spanish. Yo soy hablo un poco solamente.

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Why does it seem that when AB fixes one problem, a worse one replaces it?( now the comments light shows like normal, but new comments are not showing on feedback page, even when there are new comments) This is a common problem in software development, it's called "regression" -- when you fix one thing but break something else. Whole books have been written about how to minimize regression, basically it comes to to sound design, careful coding, and thorough testing. All of those take time and money, something Answerbag developers have a limited supply of. The comment...

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Why would one person need three different cellphones? One for each geographic region they travel to regularly, e.g. U.S., Mexico, and U.K.

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While I turn in my resignation, can I record the conversation between me and my boss without him knowing? Sure you can record it, but you may have trouble making use of that recording for anything besides blackmail -- I doubt it would be admissible as evidence in any kind of legal proceeding. Consult an attorney who works in your state for best results.

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How many women have you seemingly fallen in love with on AB? One.

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What is an AB Club...? where do we find AB Clubs...? Once upon a time there were no AB clubs. Then one day, a certain female user came up with the notion to add "All Knowing Goddess of the Earth" to the end of her username. But this wouldn't fit, and was rather cumbersome, so she abbreviated it to "AKGoE". Her friends found this charming, and started coming up with their own variations... "All Knowing Goddess...

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Why do Christians hate the truth, e.g Dinosaurs,big bang Most Christians do not "hate the truth". But those who believe in the literal interpretation of the creation account in Genesis are obliged to reject or reinterpret evidence of evolution in order to preserve their belief system. This loyalty to beliefs in the face of contrary evidence is actually a feature of the human mind, not Christianity. Any time we become attached to a...

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What are your thoughts about the terms liberal and conservative? What are your thoughts on how they are antagonistic with one another? Just curious. In general I think "liberals" don't like being labeled that way, while conservatives are quite happy to be called conservative. I think that's an interesting contrast. Basically, the core worldview of conservatism is "the ways of the past should be conserved" -- i.e. what has worked in the past is good, and change is dangerous. Obviously that's an...

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When you were 10, What did you want to be? I wanted to be a chemist. That was before I realized that chemistry involved more than making smoke bombs and explosives. My first look at a real chemistry book cured this silly impulse.

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What are the 10 commandments 1- Thou shalt not kill, unless the government says it's OK. 2- Thou shalt not steal, unless you're the government and you're using it to buy weapons, in which case see #1. 3- Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless you're a rich man working in a high office, such as the governor of New York 4- Thou shalt not make graven images and worship them, unless they consume at...

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Will there ever be world peace? I don't know. Here's the funny thing about this question: nearly everybody has an opinion, either "yes" or "no". But where do all those opinions come from? I say they come from the past. We look at the past, and logically enough, we project the future from the past. Then we make choices TODAY based not on the future as a possibility, but on the future which...

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Is there a song that reminds you of Answerbag? (For reasons unknown, Edie Brickell's The Wheel does it for me.) It depends on the mood -- both my own and the rest of the flock: When everyone thinks Firebrand has quit, or a troll is cloning avatars and shouting about their private parts, or the comment light is broken again, I go with Led Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused". When the home page is clogged with cloyingly sweet tributes to someone whom I happen know is not all as nice as...

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Do you believe karma is a supernatural force bent on getting revenge on those who commit bad deeds, or coincidences or just logical consequences that shall occur? No, karma is the completely ordinary workings of cause-and-effect, there's nothing supernatural whatsoever about it. When you smack the cue ball and it hits the others, they spray around the table. That's karma. When you lie to your boss about having completed a project, and later he finds out and fires you, that's karma. When you spend all of your time and energy just...

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Do you feel sometimes like if there is something wrong in your life, can you explain why? I'm not sure what you're asking specifically, so here's a general answer: It's quite common for people to believe that "something is wrong" with life... either something is wrong with me, or others, or life itself. In fact, I would say that most of us have one or more forms of this belief deeply embedded in our psychological makeup... it's a very easy...

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After being cheated on by girlfriend of 4years. Do you ever trust women again? You shouldn't trust HER again, but it's a mistake to extend that to the rest of the female world: keep it specific. This particular girl is the one who should be held responsible for her actions, not everyone else.

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Are the blue collar workers in today's U.S. citizens of a democratic society,or slaves of the rich? They're citizens of a quasi-democratic country. They have a lot of freedom and autonomy, but it is also true that the political and economic systems are manipulated in unhealthy ways by the wealthy (particularly large corporations, via political lobbying, etc.) It's not all one thing or the other: we CAN throw the bums out. But they can also fool us into thinking they're not...

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If a application is store in PC1 but the database is store in PC2, how to make it? is need to configure any setting in both PC? or just use the "connectionstring" enough? You need to have the firewall open for the proper ports on PC2, so that PC1 can connect to it. The rest of the task is getting that connection string right. In order to know what ports to open, you'll need to consult the documentation for whatever database you're using.

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What are some things you can do besides take meds/dr. to fight depression? I don't think it's a good idea to start out "fighting" depression. Unless you have some chemical imbalance or DSM-quality personality disorder, depression is generally a response to something fundamentally "off" about your life situation, rate of personal development, relationships, spiritual development, etc. It's better to get to the root of that problem...

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Geraldine Ferraro suggested Barack Obama only achieved his status in the presidential race because he's black. Racist comment or not-and why? I don't think it's racist, just ill-advised and inaccurate. Obama has a lot of fine qualities: how many politicians have you heard who are actually inspiring to listen to, regardless of their race? Obama is intelligent, shrewd, navigates the political waters well, and seems to authentically believe what he's saying. I think with some voters it helps that he's black --...

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Why do guys hook up with you, become all affectionate after they've already gotten what they wanted and then act awkward later? If i'm not mistaken the affection was not needed if you just seem uninterested days after.... Rather than analyzing this complex behavior, you'd be better off with (a) avoiding casual sex with anybody and (b) choosing more mature partners.

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Really, when someone says "Go ahead I'm right behind you", is that supposed to be reassuring? It is if you're queued up for your million dollar check from Ed McMahon. Not so good if you're trying out the new rope bridge across the Grand Canyon.

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What caused the user "The Troll" to burn out? I think your question makes an incorrect assumption (that the Troll burned out). The oddsmakers in Vegas say we'll see the Troll again, and soon. = = = = = = = EDIT = = = = = = = = I have new insider information that says the original answer here is wrong, and that the Troll is not coming back. = = = = = = = EDIT = = = = = = = = Even newer outsider information says THE TROLL is...

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I was molested by my sisters husband when I was 10 years old. I am now 25 and I want my sister to talk openly about this with me even though she is still with him. Please help I need advise on this. Have you talked to a therapist or counselor about what happened? Your first priority should be your own healing and emotional health: dealing with the pain, betrayal, trauma, etc. -- something like this can have a profound effect on your self-image and your ability to bond with men. So I think you should look very carefully at WHY you want to involve your sister. It's a very...

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I've been with this girl for awhile but she never actually broke up with her ex concretely and now she wants time apart so she can clear her head.. i'm friends with her ex and feel like if shes not going to tell him I have too.. what do i do.. I think you should give her a choice and a chance to tell him herself, something like "it's not OK with me that you haven't told him about us. That's not fair to him, and it's not fair to me. I would prefer that you tell him yourself, but if you don't do it by next week then I'm going to tell him". That gives her a chance to step up and do the right...

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How is fishing better than sex? You never have to say "Oh sh*t, my wife is home!!"

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Is it true that true peaceful Christians do not argue, fight or bash anyone? Do you believe in being loving,kind, peaceful and considerate to others? I'm not a Christian, but I think that it's wrong to expect Christians (or anybody else) to be perfect. Human beings are just human... we all lose track of our values sometimes, or act reactively when angry, or get caught up in justifying behavior that isn't justifiable. Christians, like members of all honest religions, should be trying to steadily refine and develop their...

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With a world food crisis on the horizon, due to our planet being overcrowded, would compulsory euthanasia ever be introduced by our governments to combat this impending crisis? I really doubt it. Long before we get to that point, it's likely that less draconian measures would be invoked... such as fines for having more than one child, or even "childbearing credits" traded like we trade smokestack emission credits now. Killing fully-viable humans as a way to control population would indicate a pretty serious lack of imagination :)

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My ex still calls me and tells me about his problems with his new gf. He dose not no that i terrible miss me(i would never be with him again though). How can i get rid of him in my heart and to stop doing this? The first thing you should to is tell him to stop doing that. You need to have some "boundaries" and maintain them... it's sort of like sealing up the wounds a bit so they can heal. Even better would be to stop talking to him except for essential things (if there are any). Once the boundaries are in place, you have to start looking at what's holding you back from living...

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I believe my boyfriend cheated on me years ago. I found an open condom wrapper in his pants and he gave me some lame excuse. I still think about it and it bothers me tremendously. How do I get over this? What bothers you more, the thought that he cheated on you, or the thought that you tolerated it and kept him around after? When something bugs you chronically, there's a very good chance that your self-esteem is threatened, and this sounds like such a case. He cheated. Ok, so perhaps you can forgive, perhaps not. But that's a separate issue from what it MEANS about YOU that you...

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I hired an atty for a legitimization case, I am the CP. NCP has not showed concern for child in 4 1/2 yrs. I had proof. Somehow, he ended up w/visitation & legitimization, despite my concerns. Is there anything I can do cause atty Courts are pretty reluctant to sever parental rights in general. But this definitely sounds like a question for an attorney -- probably not the one you had last time.

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What real-life creature(s) are likened to the Buzz? I likened to the buzz when I was younger, but got buzzed out eventually. Now I'm through with buzz.

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How come foods that are so delicious are so bad for you? Well the biggest problem is that fat is just very darn likable as an ingredient in food. With limited skill one can quickly make meals that taste great, as long as there's no serious effort to remove the fat. Once you try to do that, it becomes much more challenging to get those rich, satisfying tastes and textures.

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If your heart tells you to do one thing but everyone else tells you to do the complete opposite,which would you follow your heart or what everyone else says? Life is a funny thing: you can spend the whole thing doing what everyone else says you should do, and end up with this odd sensation that your life never really started. That happens because unless you make your own choices and take responsibility for the consequences (or benefits) of those choices, you aren't really being yourself. And if you're not being yourself, you're not...

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Answerbag is starting to get on my nerves and I'm considering leaving. Shall I go or should I stay? Convince me of the right decision. I try to consider that when I'm annoyed with Answerbag, there's something to be learned about myself. I do take breaks, but I also try to reflect on the annoyance and what it says about my expectations, my ideas of how others should treat me, what value I'm receiving vs. what I'm contributing, etc. I just think it's smart to consider that annoyance in general is an...

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I have a recipe to make omelette's in a zip lock bag and boiled in water, a friend says that the bag when heated would give off harmful chemicals. Would a boiled ziplock bag give off harmful chemicals that could be consumed with the omolette? If you go to the supermarket and look at the various food storage bags, you'll see that some of them are marked microwavable and boilable, and some are not. I doubt that this has anything to do with harmful chemicals -- more likely it's just a matter of the melting temperature of the plastic. Ask your friend to supply details on the studies he's referring to. If he...

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The lovely Ms Fortunate has just made MAESTRO!! Who would like to congratulate her with me? MsF has always been one of my favorite baggers: intelligent, funny, likable. May she Rule the Earth with Great Power and Wisdom! :)

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What do you think of the statement, "News is what someone doesn't want you to know; the rest is just publicity." I don't think it's universally true, but it's very catchy... sort of like a Monkees song -- more hook than substance, but fun to listen to.

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BigDaddyBS has made it to Sage! Who wants to join me to say congratulations? Yeah, he seems like a cool guy to me. Congratulations!

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2 friends of mine that have dated for awhile have broken up and now there is an intense relationship starting between her and I. we say we love each other but recently she is very distant and has pushed me away. now i'm second guessing myself.. help.. Standard good advice for anybody starting a relationship is "keep your eyes open" -- i.e. self-awareness matters, and being honest with yourself matters. Knowing what you want is important, knowing how much you're willing to give is important. Telling the truth about all of that, etc. Nobody can tell you what to do about this relationship, that's up to you. Usually...

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I am with guy, he called last night to say hello & that he hopes relationship can blossom and he would be regretful if we did not give it a chance, & later down we would be thinking what if..., this is 2nd time he has told me this, is he dwelling on it? It sounds like he's wanting to measure your level of interest in the relationship. He's saying this to elicit a response from you. There's a lot of this kind of thing that happens early on in a relationship: people "testing" each other, probing for detailed feedback on level of commitment or interest. You can just ask him about it, of course -- you don't have...

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Do you ever feel... all alone in the universe? We're all alone in this world, ultimately. We also have lots of company. These two live side-by-side, and you should make peace with both of them. Everyone faces death alone. We all have to make crucial choices in our lives, and those choices fall on our shoulders alone, we can't look to others to make them for us. And we're all solely responsible for the enormous...

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Learn how to hack somones computer and know what is doing on his computer? This is not a good idea. A personal computer is PERSONAL -- which is another way of saying "it's none of your business". If you're concerned about what he's doing (e.g. if he's cheating, etc.), ask him. Have a conversation. Work out your relationship with communication, don't go spying on him. If you really don't trust him, and it's so severe...

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How do I temporarily mend severe/intense emotional pain? It's really bad...I'm getting very ill - haven't been able to sleep, or eat for a couple of weeks and it's getting worse. Well it is possible to get drugs from a doctor which will ease your pain, but what I really recommend for your situation is to practice some very basic meditation to you get centered and stable.   The problem is that your thoughts are very powerful right now, and that's what causes the pain... you can't get any "breathing room" from these thoughts. It will take time...

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First it Firebrand,now it Drastic,why is everyone leaving ab? I see no evidence that Firebrand has left: http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=105639 She posted an hour ago, there's no "goodbye" on her profile, etc. Sounds like a hoax is coming from somewhere.

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Well there is this girl that my friend is trying to hook me up with. my friend said im coming on too fast and i agree. what are some tips to talk to her with out sounding like im pushing the friendship to fast. The key to connecting with others in relationships is learning how to just "be there", without an agenda, being yourself. This is the great irony of social skils: all that effort we put into trying to be a certain way, trying to put forth a particular image or make a particular impression, trying to control how others see us... all of it is ultimately counterproductive, because it...

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In high school, how can you get girls to go crazy over you? You can't. If they were going to go crazy over you, they would be doing so already. Focus on being yourself, don't pretend, to strain to be somebody you're not. Nothing is more attractive than being yourself. Then, if you meet a girl you like a lot, let her know. And one at a time, please: these are human beings we're talking about, not your groupies.

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Don't "generalizations" generally hold true.. hence the term applied whenever exceptions are too few to be of great concern? Generalizations are only true to the degree that they're true! :) That is, a specific generalization has to be evaluated in context in order to draw any conclusions. There's no general answer to this question which is correct. One thing worth noting is that generalizations are not reality, they're abstractions. Reality is ALWAYS "finely detailed", and in a...

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I connected a Harddrive via a USB Adapter to my new pc which runs vista. How do I get the pc to recognize the hard drive. Connecting doesn't seem to work. Tried with another hd and same problem on two computers. Hard drive is just not showing. Help Please Ok, this may sound silly.... but did you plug in the power cable for the hard drive? If so, it seems likely the drive has failed. It happens. Try another external USB drive, if the other one works, that's a pretty solid conclusion.

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I know my fiance loves me, but he hardly spends time with me, he says he will all the time but never does, what can I do to make him want to spend time with me? I would say this relationship is in trouble. If he isn't spontaneously trying to find ways to spend time with you on his own initiative, somebody is in denial about the quality and depth of the love here. Sorry, wish there were a more pleasant answer that had an element of truth in it.

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If you are still stable, answer yes? Not anymore. The horses kicked me out.

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$ 100'000 or one penny and double each days amount for 30 days, plus each days amount added up. Which would you rather have? I'd much rather have the penny doubling 30 times. That would be 2^30 pennies, or $10,737,418.24 I think that's enough to get my retirement started.

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At what point does being compassionate become the same as being a "doormat"? They really don't have much to do with each other. Compassion is being able to appreciate another person's experience and respond appropriately. It doesn't necessarily mean "helping them out" (sometimes the best thing is to let people struggle with a problem so they can solve it themselves), and it certainly doesn't mean tolerating abuse or being taken...

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Do you believe that as long as there's life, there's hope? "Hope" is not my favorite word: it suggests despair -- why would you need hope if you're not in despair, yes? In other words, hope is compensatory, it's a reaction to a belief that "something is wrong with life". But what if life is already as it should be? What is hope FOR if this is already our real life, doing what it's supposed to do? The other...

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Is it fair that people can give a negative response without giving a comment? This is a topic that has been debated endlessly on Answerbag for as long as the site has been in existence. My own view is that it's a bad idea to downrate an answer without providing a comment, unless the answer is very offensive. I'm here to be helpful and to enjoy the community. If someone has provided an answer that's poor enough to deserve one of my relatively-rare...

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I believe that the price of OIL will go up, basically forever. How can one invest LONG-TERM in oil? [ Not futures; they are short term and are bought at the futures price. ] I'd buy a bunch of barrels, but I don't have the space. Basically, unless you know something that the rest of the commodities market doesn't know, you're just gambling here. If you actually buy the oil, you have the storage and transport costs that must be figured into your investment. If you buy futures, the expectation that the cost will rise is already "built in" to the price of the security. So even if you're right...

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Me and my boyfriend are getting married soon, and so I wanted to ask an important question. When do you guys think we should have our first baby? Personally I thought 26 was a good age, but one of my friends said 30. (My BF is 3 years older than me.) There's no way anybody can give you a "right age" for this, the right time is going to depend on both of you being ready, and that is very much an individual thing. Obviously it's good to look at life-stage things, like how old you will be when the child is in High School, etc., but you have plenty of time ahead of you, there's no rush. Rather than trying to...

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I'm in a long distance relationship, and I don't want to move from my friends, job, and home I have built up for years.She hates her home, has very few friends, but wants us to BOTH move.Is it selfish to want her to trust I can make her happy here with me I suspect that she's just doubting your commitment to her: possibly feeling like she has to compete with your attachment to your existing roots. If you put yourself in her shoes, imagine this: "I want us to be together, he has roots, I don't. But he doesn't want to move, does that mean he loves his roots more than he loves me?" So if that's the question she...

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At work the other guys make comments about some of the ladies being attractive. When they ask me I just make the motion like "ok i could care less" because I think of my girlfriend. Are there other guys like this or am I the odd one? You're not alone.

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69yo Dawn Wells (Mary Ann/Gilligan's Island) was busted for driving erratically & having marijuana in her car. 1st: Mary Ann is 69? GEEZE I'm getting old! 2nd: Sweet Mary Ann smokes MJ? 3rd: I've heard MJ does NOT cause erratic driving. What do you think? 4th: did they throw her in the joint, or spill her on the carpet?

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Im thinking of taking a trip on the 'SS Imagination' - would you like to come with me and where should we go? Of course, I love to sail! I think we'll pull away from the dock at sunrise, and the morning we'll put up all the canvas we can. The ship will smack the waves out of the way, not in anger but impatiently nonetheless. The first island (on the port, which is the left for landlubbers) will be dominated by a huge black castle made of iron where the Demon-strators hang off the...

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If you had to choose between love with no sex or sex with no love, which would you choose? Love with no sex. But I'd sure squawk about it.

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How would you feel if your child told you they were gay? I'd first have to get over the shock of discovering that I had a child, but I think I could cope with their orientation once that was done.

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What does yo tequierro y finito yote querda oh mi corazon mean in english I'm polishing my Spanish, so this is incomplete. But you have some spelling issues here. I've reworded as well as I can to get this: "yo te quiero y finito yo te querda o mi corazon" Which produces: "I love you and I will finite querda or my heart." Since it still doesn't make sense, I think "querda" must be mangled somewhere....

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Do you have an evil twin? You mean this guy? http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=81969 I killed him off. But who is Cain and who is Abel? I worry about that a lot.

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A dear friend of mine, who is also a good member here on AB Amanda (profile on my friends list) is going in for surgery, to have a lump removed from her breast. Would you like post something here for her, for a speedy recovery? No points needed here folks Best wishes Amanda. Get well soon.

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How did anyone survive before we all learned that to touch anything in a hotel room or public restroom meant certain disease if not death? Ignorance has a powerful protective effect, insulating us from all manner of evil. The moment we know there is danger, the shields drop away and all heck breaks loose.

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Everyone post and view each others blogs as well as comment okay? Ok.

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My MentalMum just made Maestro. Please join me in a toast! Congratulations, MM!

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How does one go about becomming a comunity leader? The CLs are chosen by the staff, there isn't any way to "apply" for the job. If you're well-known, get along with others, and seem to be intelligent, balanced, and fair-minded, that increases your chances. But if you WANT the job, that indicates a disqualifying personality disorder :)

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What should I do, someone stole my identity and now they're trying to give it back? LOL. Run, don't look back! They're always gaining on us, only the stretchiness of space keeps them from catching up.

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Imagine your life was an algrera problem.Is it linear(steady up or down),exponential(quickly up or down),quadratic(quickly down then quickly up),or polynomial( steady ups and downs). How about radically non-linear, with gaps, discontinuities, and sudden reversals. And just a faint downward slope visible at large scale?

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I am fourteen and I have started writing a novel, but I don't know if I am to young to write one. Also i'/ more of a sports person and think people would criticize me for doing it because they do when I am just reading books. Don't worry about what other people think, focus on what you're writing. If you want to be yourself in life, you have to learn to follow your own path -- and sometimes that means doing things that other people think are bad ideas. Just smile politely, and nod your head up and down, thank them for sharing. Your project should succeed or fail on it's own merits, not because...

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Were you with your dog when they were euthanized due to failing health? What did you say to them as they left this life? My ex and I had our dog put to sleep about 2 years ago, she was suffering terribly. We sat with her in the room while the vet gave her the shot, petting her and telling her that she had been a good companion, and thanking her for being our friend. She went to sleep quietly and without pain. I will always remember that dog. She's featured here, btw:...

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Would you agree or disagree with the statement 'Passion is comparable to insanity and irrationality' This stems from an earlier thread where the participants became quite passionate. No, I don't think passion is necessarily insane or irrational, although those paints do get mixed a lot into some interesting colors! To really be alive is to be passionate: basically, it's about caring and being moved by life. Passion is responding to music and beauty, feeling pain, dancing when the rhythm gets moving: being fully alive. What makes passion go sour is when...

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Is there a guide on the internet somewhere on how to ask "loaded questions"? I don't know, but if you browse the religion and politics categories of Answerbag, you'll find several thousand examples you can study.

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I just realized that it's been just over 2 months already since "the break up" and, while I'm having no disire to go back to him, I feel incredibly lonely. Any tips on things to do to take my mind off of it? One of the best ways to get your mind off of your own suffering is to take on someone else's! Specifically, getting out and doing some community service is what I mean: your local United Way or Red Cross can offer many different ways that you can be helpful. That gets you out of the house, and out of your head at the same time. Loneliness is really a disease of being disconnected...

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HOW DO I FIND OUT IF I AM RELATED TO SOMEONE FAMOUS? File a paternity suit and see if they offer you hush money.

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How many of you that have been divorced are still friends with your ex husband/wife? I know not all divorces are ugly and some couples stay close friends even after they divorce. I am just curious to see if there are some who dont hate their ex. My first wife and I stayed friends for about a year or so after the divorce -- we went out to lunch periodically, etc. I think what we learned in that period was that we just weren't that interesting to each other! Who knows what we were thinking when we got married :) Basically, the friendship faded for lack of common ground and interests, for the same reason the marriage failed I...

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Why can't I find a boyfriend? I am 17.. Possibly because you want "a boyfriend" instead of a specific person. A relationship is a special connection between two specific people, it's not a general bucket into which you dump whomever happens to walk by. If you have the idea that you SHOULD have a boyfriend, that idea is not helpful. On the other hand, if there is a particular boy you're interested and would...

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I have 42,000 miles on my 1997 t-bird, it is serviced regularly, the gas mileage is terrible like 12 to 13 in town. help me out, gas is now 3.50 a gallon. Afraid it's time to chuck the boat and get a more economical car! You can help yourself somewhat with careful driving... e.g. accelerate modestly, anticipate stops and lights so you minimize start-and-go driving, etc., but basically there's a ton of heavy American cars that just weren't designed with fuel efficiency in mind, and now the Piper has come to call.

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Any thoughts on ridding currency? I believe we should all just be working towards common goals that would benefit the entire human race and not an individual; that would end war, poverty and disease as we know it... What do you think? Well I think your interest in what benefits the entire human race is admirable. The question is, what practical things can we do? I don't think it's practical to get rid of currency -- money is an essential tool of economies, and you can't really help the poor (for example) without it. The main problem with your idea is that it doesn't account for reality as it is:...

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Do you feel as though you want something better out of life? Do you have an idea of what that may be/entail? If not, what is currently keeping you content? Hey, you're happy! :) Good. Now what? No, I don't want something better out of life. That doesn't mean I don't have goals, or don't have wants, but fundamentally I don't have the sense that life has "shortchanged" me, or that I've somehow missed the boat. One of the big challenges of maturity is learning to make peace with the realization...

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Husband and I are co-owners on car (I'm first). We are separating/. He took the car with the agreement to make payments but is failing to do so (has not made one payment). What recourse, if any, do I have? The standard advice in divorce is "get your name off of all loans". Normally that requires the spouse who acquires the property to refinance it so that the other spouse is no longer named. Basically, you're in trouble. You can take the car, and sell it, you can make the payments yourself, or you can somehow persuade him to shape up. It's always a risk to allow the ex...

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At what point does one who frequents this site go from 'outsider' to 'accepted by the regulars'? I think it's a mistake to even spend much time on that question. Relationships happen one at a time, and it's not a numbers game, there's no "inside" or "outside", it's more like a network of connections between individuals. When you have 3 people, and they each have a relationship with each other, it does sort of produce a psychological...

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I have seen a penny on the ground EVERY day for the past five days. I have picked it up each time, regardless of which side was facing up. What kind of luck do you think I had? I guess I'd be more impressed with your luck if the currency had a bit more bang! I was at the zoo yesterday, and I needed a quarter for the petting-zoo food dispenser. I had 3 dimes, so I offered them to a little girl's father, and he dug out a quarter. Then he took my 3 dimes and tried to foist 5 pennies on me to even the sale! I said "no way, mister... don't try to...

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The US Air Force just selected a cargo plane mfg'd outside the US which will cost us jobs. When involved in war, should the US be obligated to make war purchases from it's own country since it's spending billions on the war outside the US as it is? There's an interesting irony in the question, I think: warfare is very much an "us vs. them" undertaking, and so is protectionism regarding jobs. Humanity is a whole, not a bunch of fragments. But that's pretty hard to see when everyone is divided up into competing or hostile "units" (nations). Nations have their place, and cultural differences are worth...

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Any ABers Indigo Girls fans? What is your favorite song? (as always, feel free to post videos) Youtube has disabled embedding, but "Least Complicated" is probably my fave: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7960386732887297929&q=Indigo+girls+Least+Complicated&total=1&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

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Why are some people on here really nasty with other people??? ive always been nice and cant understand why people go out of there way to hurt others.. Sometimes folks are just in a bad mood. Maybe the mood has lasted 5.... 10 years or so. :) But one of the most common things that happens online is that there's a sense of being disconnected from others -- failing to fully appreciate that one is interacting with another human being -- treating others as if they were just text and avatars: objects. I've seen a lot of postings...

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How to make a label accessible from a linked file in a C program?I put a label in my main program but access it from another file linked to it. But I get an error as "undefined label". You can't do that. A label ("goto target") is only accessible within the function that defines it.

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We all know about the tax rebate to stimulate the economy, right? How do you feel about the IRS sending you a letter stating that your check is almost in the mail at an additional cost of $42 million? I think it's a decent way for them to invest their efforts. There are 2 main benefits: 1- The more people understand what is happening in advance, the less likely they are to circulate confusion and false information among themselves. That kind of confusion produces calls to the IRS and tax accountants for explanation, which tends to be costly. 2- The economy is very much affected...

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I'd like to invest in a few hundred shares of a specific stock and hold on to it for a few years. What's the best way to do this? Many publicly-held corporations will sell you stock directly. You just tuck the shares away in a safe deposit box, and don't even need a broker. You can contact their investor relations departments to find out about that. Otherwise, you open a discount brokerage account, put your money in, place a buy order for what you want, and let it sit there year after year. The brokerage will...

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When in highschool, all the internship opportunities wanted college students. Now that I'm in college, all the internships want juniors or seniors in college. Will I ever be able to snag a good internship? I suspect you're best off doing your own recruiting -- i.e. promoting yourself to local companies with software development or IT departments, rather than scanning the openings. Lots of companies just don't think much about internships, it doesn't pop into their head. But there's usually a ton of work that is going undone, and someone who is willing to work cheap in...

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I have a black PSP bought at beginning of 2007. I also would include a full metal travel case. Comes with 6 games and 1 movie. Retractable earbuds, travel/car charger, screen cleaner, and 2 extra joystick pieces. How much is it wort The way to answer this is to go to eBay, locate similar items, and see what they're selling for.

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We are co-owners of a house which is divided into two apartments. We are involved in a lawsuit for a partition of the property. We recently discovered the other party was recording our conversations by placing a tape recorder by the door. Is this legal I'm pretty sure it's illegal. But you need an attorney to weigh in on that topic.

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What do you know about the body language?Examples. Examples: 1- Dad blocks your path to the door with arms crossed, scowl in place. Meaning: you haven't done the dishes yet. 2- Girl takes your hand, smiles, walks toward bedroom. Meaning: you're forgiven for the comment about her blouse. 3- Guy with gun points it at you, raises middle finger of free hand. Meaning: don't make long-term plans.

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Does Microsoft Office 2003 work with Windows Vista? Yes.

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Im 17, i get these sudden thoughts of (well the best way i can explain it is) clairity that makes totall sense about many problems with me others and general problems. what is this? Well, if it's not some delusion you're having, I would call it "insight". Insight is when the puzzle pieces ... seemingly separate bits of knowledge, suddenly fall into place to form a coherent whole. In a moment of insight, you suddenly are able to SEE what you couldn't see before, and the world looks different thereafter in some degree. Another way to say it is...

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Why do atheist try so hard to prove that a God they claim not to believe in does not exist? Why fight against something thats not there? So He must in fact be there,to be fought against! That is severely defective logic. The atheist is fighting the BELIEF in God, not God himself. God can not exist, and one can still rail against the belief, just as one can rail against the belief in a flat Earth. (Note: I'm not an atheist, just pointing to the flawed logic)

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How do you normally end a comment thread with someone? Who should make the last comment? I know this sounds like a dumb question, but... It depends on my relationship with the person. If I don't know them well, there's usually a "natural end" to the conversation where the content is finished, and then I might say "Thanks" or something just to indicate that I read their last comment. Sometimes things go wildly wrong if I'm talking to friends, and things like this happen: ...

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It's gtravels one year AB Anniversary today!! Would anyone care to join me in congratulating my life penguin on this other match made in heaven?;) Gtravels is a wonderful example of someone who manages to be friendly, helpful, intelligent, and gracious all the time. It's a remarkable thing for someone to be able to do that for even a month on Answerbag, let alone a whole year! Congratulations!

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Since when did Answerbag degenerate from a thoughtful website with people posting serious questions and helpful answers, to an unregulated bunch of rambling, mindless idiots akin to the worst internet message boards? That started Nov 14, 2006, when the points system was introduced. However, the good news is that there are waves and eddies in this phenomenon: it's not ALWAYS idiotic, and the good stuff can be quite good. You just have to be patient, persistent, and keep your BS filter cleaned and tuned.

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I came the UK 5yrs ago to see my children, my parents live in australia, i havent seen my kids for 7months (this is not my choice) and it really upsets me, ive been lying to my folks about this they are old & i dont want to upset them,is this reasonable? Sorry, lemme see if I got this right: you're not telling your folks that you haven't been to see your kids for 7 months. You're not going to see your kids, for reasons that are beyond your control. So you're telling your parents that you ARE seeing your kids, because they're old and you don't want to upset them, yes? I think you're the only one who can...

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If the Earth actually takes 365 1/4 days to revolve around the sun, doesn't that mean every new year begins around 6:00 AM instead of midnight on January 1st? Well if you follow that logic, the first year begins at midnight, the second at 6 AM, the third at 12 AM, and so forth, and every 4 years we're back to midnight again. Thus the need for leap year. But the Earth's orbital period isn't EXACTLY 365 1/4 days, it's about 365.256 days, so the leap year rule is pretty complicated -- we skip one every 100 years, put it back in...

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Do you find it somewhat interesting that really young people get on here and start questions with "I am 17 years old and...." but you never see questions started with "I am 35 years old and..." or "I am 53 years old and..." lol! LOL. At the moment I saw your question on the main page, the following was immediately below it: "I have long straight hair, its down the middle of my back. I have not had a perm since I was in middle school. ( i am 30 ) I really am thinking about getting a perm, but totally scared I will hate it. What should I do?" http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/632540

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Do you believe that shows like "Jackass" encourage people to do foolish things so they can film it and post it on Youtube.com? The disasters from these stunts are called "natural selection". It's a harsh but necessary process that keeps the gene pool from decaying to unacceptable levels of quality.

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I am white and my finance is Mexican and we have been together for 2 years and have a 11 month old girl and I'm pregnant with our second I just found out that he is here illegally if we get married will he become a citizen? I believe the answer is "no"... the fact that he is an illegal alien has bearing on your ability to marry and get him permanent resident status. You need an immigration attorney.

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Wouldn't it be nice to be able to search a question and each reply for specific words? The Answerbag search feature only covers questions, not answers. This has been on the frequently-requested features menu for a very long time, with no real movement. Usually if I need to do an advanced search, I use Google, but I specify "site:Answerbag.com" in the search text. That limits the search to Answerbag. With some practice, you can get pretty good at finding what...

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My mobile phone will not allow me to make or receive calls, it says out of your service area, what does this mean? Assuming it's not just broken, that message means that there are no towers in your area -- the phone can't connect to the network. The only cure is to get yourself somewhere where there are towers. It's quite common to lose signal when you leave heavily populated areas or enter a tunnel or other obstructing structure. If you can't get signal at your home or other...

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Do you feel like a cat trapped in a dogs body? No, but sometimes I feel like a kid trapped in an adult body. I bought a Sony Playstation Portable yesterday, but I couldn't read the manual because the type face is too small for my old eyes :( So now we're up to 3 kinds of lenses.

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What are the dangers of having knowledge? (in general, not something like having witnessed a crime but not speaking up) The problem with "ordinary" knowledge is that it's seductively tranquilizing -- we think we understand something, so we stop paying attention to it. A good example is relationships with a spouse: once you think you KNOW that person, you start to tune them out. It's just the way the mind works -- it's trying to be efficient, and paying attention takes mental...

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Anyone ever find REAL LOVE over the internet? I haven't, but I was just wondering if people really do. Yes, I met mine right here on Answerbag, and I know of several other AB-originated relationships. Then of course, there's all the dating and social networking web sites, I'd say it's a pretty big "yes" all around. The advantage of the Internet is that you "meet" a lot more people in a shorter period of time, that increases the chances that you'll...

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Someone at work said to me the other day, "She has the personality of a brick." It occurred to me that bricks get laid, regularly. Do you know any other sayings that make no sense? Well, typically bricks only get laid once. After that, the weight piles on, the surface wears thin, and everything starts to crumble slowly. Their big claim to fame is ready availability and low cost of ownership. So I think that one lacks sufficient irony for your otherwise wonderful question :)

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Did we forget to wish one our most awarded AB members Happy (3) yr anniversary?????? Happy Anniversary [[[[[[[....idne...]]]]]]]]]]] 3 yrs as of 2/25/08 Idne is a wonderful lady, and a good and supportive friend. With what she's been through, and what she has contributed, somebody should put a statue in the town square for her. Any takers? Oh well. I guess we'll stick with a congratulations thread then! :) Congrats, idne.

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I'm looking to buy a new printer, and also looking to publish my first zine, so I'm contemplating buying a "all in one" printer with a copier function. Can anyone recommend a specific brand, and are they worth their money? I have owned (and destroyed) quite a few of these multifunction printers. They all suffer from the severe competition for low price: i.e. trying to pack so many features into such an inexpensive package tends to affect quality, and you should be aware that the real way these companies make money is by selling you the ink cartridges at inflated prices, and changing the design of the cartridges...

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I am planning on relocating to Canada when I am older. Can anyone tell me if they think this is a good idea? What is Canada like? I hear the taxes are high, but the actual country is idyllic. I like Canada too (I'm an American). Do you like coooollllddd!!? Because the gots lots o' dat. Vancouver isn't quite so bad, being on the west coast, the Pacific currents help to moderate the temperature somewhat. And it's a beautiful, cosmopolitan, and tolerant city.

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I really need help my partner may be deciding to come home under the curcimstance that that i do not hurt her or keep rocking up how can i keep her safe and to have her stay my lover because i love her with every ounce of breath she is still scared You've posted under "abusive relationships", so the question is "have you hurt her in the past?", and "what kind of hurt?". If you have physically abused her, and don't trust yourself not to do it again, the correct thing to do is get help for yourself (anger management, etc.) and don't let her move back in with you until you have yourself...

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If my b/f seems to take more interest in WoW than he does in me, does that mean he doesn't love me anymore? Ok, sorry this is a bit off-topic but related: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2365047 As for your boyfriend? He's addicted. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore, but if you feel jealous and want to compete with his video game, you're asking for a lot of suffering. You should either make peace with the fact that he is addicted to this game, or let him go....

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Do you like the blues? I guess I have a certain perverse fascination with the fact that you can take 3 chords in a simple pattern, and keep doing variations on it for... like... 100 years. It's like the Volkswagen Beetle of music, the darn thing just never quits. :)

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Have you ever been hated for who you loved? I don't know about "hated", but I've definitely had people opine on my choice and cut me out of their lives because of it. It seems they know better than I whom I should devote myself to. I used to be bothered by this, now I see it as a valuable lesson learned: there are tests you can run to find out who your real friends are. This is one of them: how do they respond...

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I have been in a casual-sex relationship for a few weeks, and when I see him hanging out with other girls I get jealous. How do I ask him about the girls without sounding like I want more? Obviously you should not be having casual sex with this person, because it's not casual to you! Pretending to be casual is just turning yourself into a casualty. Tell the truth, stop faking it: you CARE. The realistic options are (a) tell him how you feel and take your lumps if he doesn't reciprocate or (b) end the relationship. You're just setting yourself up for pain...

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My ex gf has been contacting my current gf via email telling her things about me(not bad,i think my ex still loves me). Im not supposed to know that my ex is contacting my gf(he friend told me)should I be worried that my gf will freak out? Well no, you shouldn't freak out. But you shouldn't agree to keep that kind of secret either. Your ex should not be contacting your current girlfriend, unless she's worried about her safety or something. That's inappropriate, and someone (preferably YOU) should tell her so. She should not be butting in to your current relationship, it's a boundary violation. So I...

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What is the meaning of life? You can find all the answers you want here: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1 It's the very first question ever asked on Answerbag!

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Do you believe there really is someone out there for everyone? do you believe that there is a special someone for everyone? cause i don't feel like she exists at all right now and feels as if i'll never find her! :'-( No, I don't think there's some pre-ordained perfect match for each person. If you believe that, you're basically saying "I'm not responsible for my own life, there's some mysterious force rolling the dice for me". But, there IS a big difference between "someone I can get along with" and "someone who rocks my world", and I think a lot of...

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HahaHow do you give people more than 5 points for giving a good answer or asking a good question on AB? Well if you reach a certain level you can give +6 for answers, nobody can go above +5 for questions. But the real reward is a well-written comment... most people prefer honest and detailed praise for solid work, rather than points.

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We've been broken up for almost 4 months. He left and now realizes he doesn't want to loose me. He wants to start over, were together for almost 5 years. I love him dearly and he says the same. How do we start over? Should he move back in just yet? I don't think anybody else can tell you whether or not you should move back in together: none of us have your view of yourself or him, it's too hard for an outsider to give advice about that. Some general things that I think are important: - A healthy relationship requires TWO healthy people. If anybody is looking to the relationship to "make them happy", there...

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How do I customize the send to command in Windows Vista? It should be the same as XP... look for a "Send To" folder in your profile directory. In English, open up Explorer, and put %USERPROFILE%/Send To in the address bar. Then, create shortcuts to your programs in that folder, and they'll show up on the menu.

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Are you tired of the really false stories and dirty political disinformation? Let's make up some new REALLY OBVIOUSLY false ones. "Why has Obama not admitted he is really one of the mole people?", "Has McCain not denied he is Batboy's love child?" Lol. Unfortunately my creative story circuit breaker blew yesterday, and I haven't bothered to reset it. But in the arena of politics, the power of disinformation shows up to the degree one can hit the "sweet spot" at the gray areas of the truth. You want the lies to merge seamlessly with the truth, preferably a "negative" truth about your opponent... some weak...

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Whenever I play music on a singer's MySpace (various artists), I get a rapper ''singing'' over the proper song. Sometimes it's someone saying ''shower'' over and over again. What could be causing this? I'm getting quite nervous about bugs and hackers. Share a specific URL to see if your problem can be reproduced by others. If nobody else has that problem, it is possible to put a "sniffer" on your Internet connection which watches the traffic and can be used to determine the source. If you know someone with significant computer skill, ask them to assist you :)

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What is the most insulting reason eHarmony can give for rejecting you? 1- "Wallet deficiency syndrome" 2- "Sorry, but your account has been purged due to lack of interest. Would you like to hear from our personality development partners?" 3- "At eHarmony, we attempt to maintain the highest standards for membership, and we pride ourselves on producing results! As a result of a comprehensive review of your account including...

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Have you ever sat in front of your computer, staring at the little empty white 'question box' because you couldn't think of a question to ask... but really wanted to take part in AB? Nope! I don't ask a lot of questions, mostly I either browse certain categories for questions to answer, or I "stalk" other users who I like and join their comment threads. If I have a question, it almost always goes into the Google search box :)

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There are plenty of writings on how to deal with being broken up with, but why are there so few on dealing with doing the breaking up? The other person gets the rejection, you get the guilt. These two walk hand-in-hand to make sure everybody suffers! :) Everybody wants to believe "I'm a nice person", but breaking up with your S/O causes them pain, so how can you preserve your Nice Person identity if you're causing someone else pain? That's the question that one tries to sort out after initiating a...

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If i mention it, it doesnt exist... what is it? Silence.

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Have you ever tried to be completely honest, then felt that your honesty is what screwed everything up? Oh yeah! Don't do it! Seriously, honesty is a good thing. But on it's own, it's like a one-legged stool, it falls right over. It needs good judgment and compassion to provide a solid platform. Lots of people are proud of how honest they are, then they go around thinking that means they should blurt out their opinions constantly to anyone who happens to pass through their...

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Does the US Government "owe" us anything? Yes, it owes us everything. That's what "government FOR the people" means. What else would it be there for, except to benefit the people?

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Do you find that you often subconsciously compete with others to make yourself feel better about who you are? Oh no, it's completely conscious! What would you like to argue about? :)

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If he's 15 and you're 14 and you guys like each other but you don't have any classes together and you're scared to talk to him in person or add him randomly on facebook what should you do to get to know him? Sorry, there's just no substitute for courage in the realm of love! But here's a clue: you don't need to stop being scared, you just need to be able to "do the deal" even while you're scared. Fear does not prevent one from doing what they need to do... waiting until you're not afraid DOES prevent you from acting. Treat your fear like a pet salamander:...

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Do you sometime concentrate your thoughts on the fact that you are breathing? How often? I do this for at least a few minutes a day, sometimes many times a day. It's basic practice for "being present", a technique that is thousands of years old. Technically though, I'm not concentrating my *thoughts* on breathing, I'm concentrating my *attention* on breathing. Thoughts do whatever they do, I just notice them and return to the breathing.

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What would you like to do to your boss? I'd like to give him a freakin award! He's intelligent, aware, considerate, and helpful. He has reasonable expectations and goes out of his way to make sure I have what I need to do my job. There's nothing like having a good boss to make work life more satisfying.

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If you were writing a book, and you had to kill the main character, how would you kill him/her? I would have him attacked and eaten by a swarm of cute pink furry bunnies. (I have Irony Addiction Syndrome.)

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Other than being trolled, can anybody point out some of the other peeves that ABers encounter? I think the nastiest situations occur not on AB itself, but offline in email and instant messenger among "cliques" of users who are friends. Of course it's fine for people to form friendships, but it's a short hop for many people from being friends to being conspirators -- picking out someone they dislike and crossing over the line with regard to that person. I've...

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Why do sharks swim near the surface of the water? Because that's where the feet dangle.

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In System32, what is the point of the files you can't even open? What do you mean you can't "open" them? Define "open". Most of the files in System32 are Dynamic Link Libraries (DLLs) and system EXE's which are associated with some facility in the operating system. Many are not intended for direct execution by the user -- they're invoked by the system for various internal reasons. However, there's only a few...

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What would you do if you went to Heaven and found out God was a Black female homosexual? I'd stop calling her "Sir".

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I just got a Friend request from someone who is already on my Friends list. How can this happen? Normally it means they deleted you by accident and then realized it. So they added you back in. In your specific case, it means Jodie cleaned out her entire friends list and is rebuilding from scratch. A sort of spring cleaning.

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Do LLP and LLC require 1099s? No, 1099's are for independent contractors, you don't need to issue them (or have them issued) if you're doing business as a partnership or corporation.

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When was the last time that you felt ecstatic? This morning, when walking down the stairs in my apartment building headed to my car. I was all wrapped up in thinking about the coming day at work, and suddenly I noticed that it was another gorgeous Southern California morning... it's going to be 80-something today in late February. The sky is clear, I have a good job, I like being alive, I have a wonderful woman who loves me, and...

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Why don't I have any friends here on AB, I try to be friendly? Have I done something wrong? The secret to making friends is the same no matter where you are: learn to appreciate others for who they are. That can be a little bit harder online than in "meatspace" if you're not particularly good at expressing yourself in writing, but the principle is pretty simple -- people respond positively when someone "gets" them. Just think about the times when someone...

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What is behind the mentality of an online stalker? What makes them follow a person from site to site, harassing them? Why can't they just let the person go, if they are so upset by them? Would you do that? There's a sense of control or power in it: the ability to dominate another person (or at least, the illusion that you're dominating another person) makes for a kind of "cheap high" -- a power rush. The behavior is justified by whatever perceived offenses have been committed by the stalkee. Digging a little deeper, you could ask "why would someone crave that kind of...

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Today is my one year anniversary here on AB. Have I done anything FUN or helpful for you? While we've had our clashes, I've learned to appreciate you: you're straightforward and honest, you have the courage to trust yourself, and you're willing to listen when it really matters. Congratulations!

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I own a Bed & Breakfast and are looking for innovative ways to attract new business. What ideas do you have? Have a good website! It should be attractive and functional: ideally, people should be able to book their lodging, get all their questions answered, get a look at the room and surrounding area, get a sense of who you are, locate it on the map, etc.

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What are derivatives, in an investment/business sense? Anything that is "derived from" an existing security is a derivative. A simple example is stock options: a share of ordinary equity stock is a security which represents ownership in a company. But a stock option is a security which represents the right to buy that stock at a particular price: it's once removed from owning the actual company, thus it's derived from the...

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Do you find it easy to be assertive, or do you worry about hurting the feelings of others? I don't see these as being mutually exclusive: I'm quite ready to be assertive, and I try to be considerate of others too. I think it's best to be able to both of these things at the same time: being just assertive enough to get the job done, without being unduly harsh to anyone. I know a woman who is very good at that, but I don't know anyone who has really mastered it...

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Being new to the USA, what is meant by the addition of the word "already" to the end of a statement, as in "Alright, already" or "Enough, already"? Wow, you made it! Congratulations! (Don't you think it's time to change the username though?) The "already" suffix suggests a frustrated urgency, as in "ok, I've heard enough of that and I don't want to hear any more".

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If I have thoughts in my head that I don't want in my head, how do I make them go away? You really shouldn't try to make them go away, what you should try to do is learn to be "present" to the current moment. The introductory technique is to count your breaths: breathe normally, and mentally count each exhale from 1 to 10. Pay attention to the sensation of the air going in and out, and just notice those thoughts. Probably you will get distracted by the...

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Do anyone here believe in destiny and soulmates? why? and why not? I don't really think the notion of "the one" is quite right, as in "there's one person out there you're destined for". That's a little too fatalistic for me. But I think there's no question that the DEPTH of your connection to your partner matters, and the chemistry which produces a deep connection is a bit unpredictable: what looks good on paper...

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AB member Shadow just proposed to AB member Susan and set the date to June the 1st this summer. Would you like to help me congratulate them on their future wedding? Wow! That has all the makings of the first-ever AB wedding! Did they meet on Answerbag or did they already know each other?

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Would you ask a prospective partner for a prenuptial contract before agreeing to marry them? Absolutely! Here's what it would say: 1- I'm always right. If it ever seems like I'm not right, it's merely a test and should be ignored. You hereby agree to do so. 2- The toilet paper comes off the top of the roll. It has always been that way in well-bred households, ours will be no different. 3- You may keep a maximum of 10 containers of cosmetic items on...

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Why is it electric wires seem to wrap around them selves, like my keyboard wires and my mouse/headphone wires, they are straightened out but then a few days later i find they are all twisted up how does this happen. Once upon a time the goddess Circuitee daily sat on a rock by a stream in the forest, brushing her long, straight, wiry black hair. She hated the fact that it was so dull and straight, and longed for full rich curls. There was a road which crossed the stream, and a small wooden bridge which allowed travelers passage. Each day she made a habit of stopping one traveler and pleading with...

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If a nuke was dropped in England, would the people in Buffalo, NY be able to feel the explosion? Nobody feels anything in Buffalo. They went there to get AWAY from feeling things, and it's working! Ok, seriously... no, there's no existing nuclear weapon which would make a boom that big.

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Whenever I'm with my gf, I feel inadequate, self-conscious.... basically i feel like a dork (yeah i said it :)) next to someone who obviously feels comfortable around people. Will the relationship ever work? And no, it is not an abusive relationship.... It's never too early to learn to BE with your anxiety, instead of acting it out or covering it up. Here's how it works: you have doubts, just like anybody. Being young, those doubts tend to dominate in certain situations, because you haven't yet developed enough of the well-grounded self confidence that you'll get when you're older (if things go normally). So far,...

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I can't believe there are people who think they can say anything insulting they want and then just apologize for it and be forgiven.People's feelings don't work like that. You can never take some things back. Do these people watch too many soap operas? Here's the thoughts your question provoked: - "You can never take some things back"... well, I think it's better to say "some things are much harder to undo than they are to do". That doesn't mean they can never be healed, though. Forgiveness has enormous power, as does genuine remorse. Sometimes a wound that has healed leaves both parties stronger than...

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If you were about to die of an incurable disease, but was given the chance to have your brain transplanted into the body of a sheep until they figured out a way to rejuvinate your body and put it back, would you go for it? Wool I think the shear weirdness of that is something I wouldn't cotton to! Baaaaaaad!

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Can you love someone you've never met before? Absolutely you must meet the person. But "meet" is a pretty flexible word, and definitely includes electronic interaction. To meet someone in the ordinary sense means to shake their hand in "meatspace". But is that really "meeting"? How many people have you met that way that you never really connected with? For me... hundreds at least. But when two hearts...

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To anyone's knowledge, have any 2 ABers met and gotten married since meeting each other here? Nope, no marriages. A few pretty solid relationships have formed though.

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Constitutional Law question: Someone has just claimed to me that preventing same-sex marriage upholds the religious rights of Christians. What religious right, of Christians in the US does allowing same-sex marriage violate? It violates the right to dictate morality to others. You'll find it in the constitution in section <mumble mumble blah blah>

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Has someone you have known ever been killed by nature? Yeah, my mother died of cancer. Completely natural phenomenon.

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Does anyone make a cell phone to replace my business lines - 2 lines that can be answered on multiple phones? I've never heard of that, but one thing you might consider is Vonage -- they have a feature which allows your cell phone to ring simultaneously with your Vonage line(s). I used to use that a lot when I had a home-based business. Beware though: while the Vonage service works fine, they are ruthless about retaining customers. It is VERY hard to close an account once you've opened...

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Do u mostly believe in proverbs by strangers or by friends and relatives? No, I don't believe in proverbs at all. A proverb or aphorism is only useful if it makes us reflect and see something from a new perspective. To believe in such things, to hang onto them and build your personal philosophy around them, makes no sense at all. There is no way that wisdom can be summarized in neat little phrases -- wise is something that you BECOME if your development...

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I'm disappointed in the structure of the Presidential debates. Would changing this be a good idea? What do you think? The problem is that it takes a lot of time to do a decent debate even on one of the many controversial topics... the audience isn't going to sit still that long, for the most part. This virtually guarantees that the discussion will be superficial. At best, you get an idea of who someone is by watching them speak and interact with their opponents.

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My girlfriend and i are having a long distance relationship and i usualy hear from her every day but i have not heard from her for the last 4 days and i am getting worried should this worry me Well it does sound like she might be reconsidering. The possibilities are: 1- She's intentionally keeping her distance, which is what you're concerned about most, probably; 2- Something has gone wrong with her communication equipment, i.e. lost Internet, etc. 3- She's injured or otherwise unable to communicate. All of these except #2 are pretty bad news. Does that...

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Where do you get the cheapest flights? It's tough to beat the search engines on the regular travel sites like Expedia.com (my favorite). But one thing that IS very important is WHEN you travel. Generally, the closer you get to Wednesday for arrivals and departures, the cheaper the flight. This is easy to see for yourself, just go to one of the search sites and choose a popular route (like LA > NY). Set your departure and...

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Do you got people when things go wrong? Definitely. And recently I learned how to separate the real friends from those who just want to make a hard situation harder by spouting their opinions and gossiping. This hard-won knowledge is very valuable to me.

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I currently us Quicken 2004 New User Edition, i am considering purchasing the Quicken 2008 Starter Edition. Will info in 2004 automatically be transfered to 2008? I have always found that Quicken is very good about being able to upgrade old data files. I would be very surprised if this did not work. However, to be absolutely certain you would need to check with the Quicken web site or call them.

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What is your life story? .

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AB- Rick, what is your job for AB? His name is AB-Rich, and his primary role is to manage the moderators (including the Community Leaders) and listen to whining from users! :)

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Is having doubts simply normal or is it possible you are having doubts because you really don't know what you believe and if you really believe it and maybe God is trying to send you a message? Belief of any kind is ALWAYS accompanied by doubt. It's just the nature of conceptual knowledge. There's nothing wrong with that, that's all as it should be. Doubt and belief are like the front and the back of a coin: you can't have one without the other. The only problem is when we think we can get rid of the doubt... so we do all sorts of mental gymnastics to try to...

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Do you suppose Satan interferes with the birthing process and is therefore responsible for birth defects, alternative mentalities, and so forth? No, this is mythological nonsense. We don't burn witches anymore, the Earth is not flat, and Satan isn't real.

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How do you stop yourself in the middle of a breakdown? I don't: the key to mastering your emotions is not to resist them or compensate for them, it's to allow them to occur naturally without judgment, interference, or "clinging". Emotions have a natural flow if you just allow them to unfold and change at their own pace. Where people get into trouble is when they get stuck in some IDEA about themselves or their situation, and...

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Is reality really real? Are you serious? If reality isn't real, what's that sensation on your butt where the chair makes contact? Of course reality is real. If it weren't real, nothing would be happening and you wouldn't have asked that question. The question is "what is reality?", which is another order of beast altogether.

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I Want To Chat With A Missionary On line We're not going to stop you, but watch your language -- they don't like 4 letter words, generally.

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Do you have a question that you wish you never asked, and dread when it moves back to the front page ? How much do you think I would have to pay in bribe money to get Ab to remove it? Just have a friend flag it as offensive. The moderators aren't very careful and tend to accept many questionable flags, that will take it offline. If it doesn't work the first time, try and try again! :)

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How do you convert the pain of disappointment or loss into artistic expression... Let go of something old or dead and move on to something new and alive? "Letting go of something old and dead" is exactly the right description -- you just need to expand it a bit to include not only the failed relationship, but the old ideas about where artistic expression comes from, what pain and loss are about, and ultimately who you think you are. Creativity always involves destruction: in particular, destruction of preconceptions and...

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I get annoyed when my girlfriend isn't always talking to me. I understand she has her other friends and I'm not jealous, but it still bothers me because I like to be the one shes always talking to. Is this a form of control? Any words of advice? Yeah, lighten up! :) You want her attention. Totally understandable, there's nothing wrong with you. But you can't have it all, and trying to have it all will cause a lot of problems in your relationship. So basically you need to learn to restrain your craving to have it all. Just take deep breaths and remember "she has a life outside of my needs!" If you want...

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My gf and I have been going out for almost 11 months. I found out recently that a guy likes my gf, and she kind of likes him too. she keeps telling me that she won't act on her feelings. we don't see each other often, so she gets lonely. How should i feel That bit about "not acting on the feelings" is critical. You can't really expect your girlfriend to not find other guys attractive, that's like asking her to turn off millions of years of evolution. But you CAN expect her to restrain herself from acting on those feelings. That's all that any of us can really expect from our partners. So she's doing the right...

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Who would like to join me in nominating the pretty and smart Andy777 for the presidential race? Definitely!

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What do you think of snake handling churches? I think they need choose hymns that sound good with rattling noises in the background.

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Some anti-war Americans tell me that we should end the war and just talk to Al Qaeda. But would it seem logical that Americans could just sit down and talk to a terrorist group that hates us? The problem is that the war in Iraq has little to do with Al Qaeda. The war has turned into a very efficient little terrorist training school -- one of those "unintended consequences" which so frequently follow war around like little puppies. Since Iraq was never the real enemy in the first place, and the threat posed by Saddam was wildly overestimated (and perhaps deceptively...

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Do you think intuition is as important as facts in making your decision? Yes, in difficult situations I think a fact-based logical approach is very limited. The trouble with analytical solutions is that life isn't a mathematical equation with well-bounded solutions... it's infinitely complex, interconnected, and relative. The good decisions are often a delicate balance between many different concerns, none of which can be measured with certainty, and...

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Do you have a little signal between you and your s/o so that when you're across a room or apart elsewhere you can look over and signal to each other that you love them? I hold up a folding poster that says "Bedroom. 5 minutes. Don't be late."

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What do u think that the maximum age gap is between 2 people in love? In the past I would have said something like "20% of the older person's age", and probably that's a good rule of thumb for most people. But what happens if you fall in love with someone who is way outside of that range? That doesn't happen very often, and who can decide what the limit should be? So it happened to me, and all of my ideas about what the right limits...

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What you don't want to be caught saying when the office intercom is accidently left on? 1. "Well, he was done in 2 minutes. I guess that's why he became the boss... no wasting time! It took longer to smoke the cigarette!" 2. "Would you punch me out, please? I got the jones nasty this afternoon!" 3. "I paid you the $20 already! You said it was $20 for a dime. Maybe you should stop smoking so much of your own product!" 4. "Yeah,...

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If a sex video was made in consent but not for anyone else's eyes can the girl sue I believe so. I'm not an attorney, but my impression is that if someone is going to distribute the film they must get explicit consent from all participants for that use, in writing.

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Do guys really mind when the woman is the one making advances and asking him out? Does he feel less masculine? As long as it's done in the right spirit, I have no problem with that. A woman who was being domineering or controlling wouldn't get very far.

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CS Lewis' classic tale of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe has been voted the best children's book of all time by British readers. Do you agree? What would be your top ten children's books? I like Prince Caspian better, but whatever! :)

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Whats the best time to AB and the best genre in AB to score points in? Most of the traffic piles on during the evening hours in the continental U.S., e.g. around 6-10 PM Eastern time. By far the most "lucrative" kinds of questions are the "congratulations" questions (Answerbag > Users > Congratulating Answerbaggers) -- people post "questions" congratulating their friends for hitting the next level, for birthdays and graduations...

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Do animals have spirits like us human beings? What makes you think human beings have "spirits"?

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What do i do if my wife thinks i am obsessed with this site and spend to much time on it? Best to just acknowledge that and tell her you'll get back to her in 6 months, when the drama loses it's appeal and you've seen all the popularity waves come and go, and the questions all start to sound the same. Really, that will save you a lot of relationship headaches. :)

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Is US Mexican border at risk for terror Sure, there's risk in just about anything. The question is how best to assess and manage the risks in life -- we have limited resources: suffering and death are inevitable parts of life, there is no way to seal ourselves up in a perfectly smooth and impenetrable container which keeps out all the evil. In order to make wise use of our energy and resources, we need to be able to be...

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If you were given any magical power what would it be? The ability to heal the psychic torment of others in a comment thread.

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Who is that man, that black cop? He's a complicated man, but no one underastands him like his woman......(?) That cat Shaft is a bad mutha!

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Dad didn't allow me to go to this historic place. I'm 27 and I hate askin for his permission like a 13 a year old. What should I do? If you're 27, what would your father have to do with the matter? Just go! If you're 27, and you're still looking to your father to provide your basic support, and he's calling the shots about what you do with your time, this is an emergency: get to a therapist now.

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Besides a few very short lived part-time jobs, I haven't worked in about 7 years. I've taken classes and am up-to-date with ms office and have lots of office/secretarial experience. How do I make myself stand out and snag one of the few jobs in my area? Your resume gets you the interview. Your presence gets you the job. It's all about who they think you are when you're there talking and listening. Being likable matters a lot. So does listening, and being attentive. A sense of humor is good, as long as the humor is appropriate and not bitter. Attention to detail is especially important -- notice things in the interview room,...

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So, someone told me a Hummer was better for the environment than any Hybrid vehicle. How true is that? Careful. You're talking about the Official Penis Enlargement Solution of the global warming deniers. This is not a demographic you want to annoy by comparing with a hybrid.

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Decrease $7.20 by 30% Can I just wait a year and let inflation do it for me?

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Differentiate self pollination and cross-pollination Self-pollination never leaves you having to say "I'm sorry".

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If the Big Band was the very first point in space time, did an infinite number of points exist immediately after the Big Bang, and if this is so, can we say there are more points now that the Universe has expanded further?,.... A "point" is purely conceptual. You won't find any such thing if you go out searching for it, it's just a way of parsing space up mentally so that we can measure and discriminate. So there never was any "first point", nor are there any more points now. There's just human beings thinking and talking about points.

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How do I get my boyfriend of a year now (and on again/off again for 4 years prior) to take our relationship to the next level, which would be to either move in together or become engaged ? Is he hiding something or just commitment phobic? You ask for what you want, and you don't try to pressure or manipulate. The fact that you're framing his side as "hiding something or commitment phobic" is probably pretty bad news for the relationship... it suggests that you don't respect his motives, or don't trust him to make his own choices about something that important. You have an expectation that he...

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We've been together for 7 years now, through ups and downs and long distances we've pulled through. We seemed to be very close the last few months and suddenly she says last week that she doesn't want to do this anymore. How can I try to change her mind? You know the corny old poster, right? The one that says "if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was". Yeah, that one. Let her go. Really. Clinging is bad, bad, bad. Worst thing in relationships. Either your love is strong enough to survive this latest strain, or it's not... but trying to control her...

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How do you know when it's time to get a divorce? When you're calm and centered, look out into the future and ask yourself "will I regret spending the rest of my life with this person?". If the answer keeps coming back "yes" over a significant period of time, that's a pretty good indicator.

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I'm 4 mo. away from my wedding, and I don't feel like he's helping me at all. I mention anything about the wed. and he freaks about money... Im losing interest in "this wonderful day" do I have cold feet or are all men like this? I've never seen a wedding where the man is as interested in the planning as the woman is. That doesn't mean it can't happen, but it's not the norm. There's a bunch of jokes based on this principle. The woman's job is to choose the right location, make the guest list expand, pick a beautiful dress, corsage, flowers for the church, cake, meal details,...

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What is the offspring of a donkey and a horse called? "Mr. President", usually. Or "hey creep!", if the wife is speaking.

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Do you think it should be law that a woman cannot have an abortion until she *proves* that she has made the father aware of her pregnancy? Sorry, I can't decide between "no", and "Hell, no!".

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Who here has Vonage? What do you think about it? And what is the billing like? Is it really unlimited local and long distance for $24.99/month? Are there tons of hidden fees? I had Vonage for a couple of years, the service worked fine. However... it was a NIGHTMARE to get the service disconnected. They did every sort of manipulative and underhanded thing one could imagine to prevent me from closing my account, including continuing to charge my credit card months after I repeatedly was told on the phone that it would be cancelled. Then, they refused to refund...

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Good afternoon everybody, How are you? I'm sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could help me by telling me if the excessive use of platitudes bothers you? Thank you so much for your answers and keep up the good work! Platitude abuse is illegal in all 50 U.S. states and most industrialized countries. However, it continues "under the radar", as we all know... and of course in the third world it's common for platitudes to work long hours under unbearable conditions, being invoked for nearly any sort of problem or situation. It's our own fault, really: society needs to care more about...

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Has anyone here used the medicine (pill) I-Caps V vitamin for eye health...?..I-Caps V...Are there any side effects...? I take those on a daily basis on the advice of my optometrist. So far, I have not grown any extra fur or psychic powers :)

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Is to love someone unconditionally to be blind to their faults, or extremely forgiving? Neither one -- unconditional love is just love that isn't dependent on conditions: the other person doesn't need to meet some criteria of yours to "earn" the love. So it doesn't matter what your attitude about their faults is -- you don't even have to be forgiving, and it's ok if you're blind. The way to understand unconditional love is to start...

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Bf cheated on me and left me for his ex girlfriend. he lied to me about it at first and i found out. he denied it but it's true. i bet he's all happy with her and forgot about me. i'm in so much pain. what do i do? Sorry, I know that's very painful. The best way to get through this in my view is to learn to just be in the moment: stay with the here-and-now. If it hurts, notice where it hurts and just stay with that pain. Notice your thoughts, but don't get too caught up in them. Pay attention to your breathing, the simple in-and-out of the air coming and going. This is life, this is what...

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Why do some websites no longer need the www. before their address? It was never necessary in the first place. The "www" prefix has always been merely a convention, never a requirement. Because it makes the URL longer, some site operators omit it. From a technical standpoint, there can be an advantage to using it -- if a company has more than one public host server, they can then register their web server with a different address than their...

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My Daughter is 10 years old and her Grandma tells her to hold her tummy in and needs more exercise. My daughter says it makes her feel bad about herself and she doesn't want to visit. What does anyone think about this and how I should handle Since she's 10 years old, I would probably focus more on the child than grandma. In particular, she's old enough to understand the notion of personal boundaries and being able to defend them. This is something that can benefit her in many ways. So for example, I might say "You know, you don't have to allow her to talk to you that way. You could say 'grandma, it...

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My girlfriend takes forever to get ready. she doesnt need to as she always looks bril. why does she never listen? Ah, a classic question!! Why do they think they need all that primping and care? Well, in theory... they never feel like they're beautiful enough, so there's a constant refining process that involves about a jillion little containers of strange chemicals and 40 or more beauty appliances and hours of preening in the mirror, but somehow it's never adequate, even when the...

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What year did Buddhism start? The Buddha was born *about* 2500 years ago in northern India. The exact date is not known. He started teaching when he was about 30, so that would be the approximate time that Buddhism started.

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There is an amazing exhibition is going on in romania in bucharest in romexpo have you seen it and must visit hall no 14 stall no 102 its amazing. This is considered "spam" on Answerbag -- you can't promote your company, product, or service without saying something that is helpful to others in the process.

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Ok so theres this guy. hes 16 im 14 and i love him so much. we talk whenever we can. he always makes me laugh +smile. and hes so caring and funny. we've been friends for 1 year. we went out once and it didnt work out. but hes a big flirt. he likes me too. Sounds good! Keep the news updates coming! :)

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Which of you friends has the worst car Umm... that would be me: the 1993 Toyota Camry with 165,000 miles! :) But: it's paid for, it's very reliable, I had it painted so it looks OK, it has a killer stereo, and I love it to death. They will have to pry this car from my cold dead hands. So is it really the "worst" car? Maybe not. Just the oldest.

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My roomate is awesome but shes a slob. I try to get her to pick up her stuff but either she thinks im kidding or she gets mad....How can I get her to pick up her stuff? I live in a dorm we dont have much room anyway..... Unfortunately this is a very tough problem to solve. It's probably easier to get a different roommate! One thing you have to be careful of is anything that involves being "controlling" in your relationship with her... that will take all the fun out of your friendship. However, it is important to be assertive too -- to make sure you're firm and clear about what you want,...

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What is the definition of a "stoner"? It's the person without sin who throws the first rock. All the other rock-throwers are "copycats". :)

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Why don't atheists commit suicide? If life is accidental without meaning because it is purely by chance, why continue to lived with hope, dreams and desires if you are merely an accident without any purpose to existence? THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE MALICIOUS. It sounds like you have a confused idea of where the meaning in life comes from: hope, dreams, and desires are not the source of the meaning in life, neither is belief in God or any other metaphysical principle. (Note: I'm not an atheist, but that's another matter) In order to understand what "a meaningful life" is, you have to LIVE life, instead of merely THINKING...

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Do you think you have been treated fair by other AB Members? Why? or why not? Well... I think today is a good day to turn it around and ask "have I been fair to other members?". Unfortunately, the results seem mixed. I'll spare myself the details, of course :) I think one of the hardest things to learn is to apply the same standards to myself that I apply to others. The selective memory which excuses my own missteps, but punishes others for nearly...

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It is a fact that everyone on earth is ignorant. Why do we judge other people ignorant about anything when we know we are also ingorant? I think the question muddles together a few things, and then attempts to perform logic on them. Here's what I mean: "Ignorant" is, like most words, a multipurpose term. It means different things in different contexts. Its meaning depends on who is using it and what they're trying to convey. When you say "everyone on Earth is ignorant", I infer that you mean...

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My furnace ignitor is not working! We just replaced it one year ago. Does anyone know if this part is meant to be 'disposable'?grrr! Well it's no more disposable than other parts. But it is exposed to a lot of heat, so quality of manufacture and design do matter. Ok, sorry, I was paid to say that: the truth is it's part of an international global conspiracy to make you buy a new furnace. Somebody has to keep the produce/consume cycle spinning, and you were chosen.

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Can you live in the same house with partner but call your self legaly seperated .eg single parent You can't just "call yourself legally separated", no. Legal separation is a legal status, and you have to go through a legal process to get it. Basically, it's divorce without the D -- all your finances and property and lives are settled, but we still call you "married". It's mainly used by people whose religion frowns on divorce, but for most practical...

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Do you ever wish you could take various things that you liked about your exes and put them all together into a new person? What would you take? I think Frankenspouse might not end up being all she was assembled to be, so not really.

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My boyfriend is smoking pot before he comes to pick me up tomarow. He always drives with me when hes high and he seems kinda off, he tells me that his driving isnt effected at all by it, any one have stats or know if it effects your attention to the road Yes, it affects your driving skills, reaction times, attentiveness, judgment, and perception. The smart choice is to refuse to get into the car. Really, why does anybody even have to say that? Your safety is at stake. Get a boyfriend who cares enough about you not to risk your life because he wants a constant buzz.

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My fiance refuses to go to my friend's wedding in another state because he does not know the couple that well. I am close to them and really want to go, but do not want to go alone. Should I go without him? I would. She's your friend, you want to express your support, and he won't go. It doesn't seem very complicated as problems go... and it's good to be able to travel by yourself and be comfortable with that. Seems like a win on multiple fronts.

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My boyfriend has broken a lot of simple promises over the past 2 yrs. I've finally started to trust him more, but now I've noticed that he is starting to act up again and he even asks my own friends to keep secrets from me. What should i do? It's common in this kind of situation for people to think they SHOULD trust their partner. That's silly, it's like saying you SHOULD believe in the Easter Bunny. If he's not behaving in a way that's trustworthy, don't trust him! That little bit of simplifying clarity is step #1. Ok, so now you don't trust him, and with good reason. What next? Well,...

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What does anal retentive mean? It means #2 is now in charge.

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Would anyone be welling to teach me VC++ or C++ over aim or msn? or just be there so i may ask questions? I really don't think you're going to find someone to "teach you" over IM. That's a HUGE subject. But, if you're studying steadily on your own, you can post specific questions and get helps in the various C++ or VC++ newsgroups (see Google groups or your local USENET account). There are many experienced people who hang out there and help newbies.

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What is a good penis size? Whatever you got is perfect. If you're not happy with it, buy a Hummer.

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What are you doing to pursue happiness? Not a single darn thing. If I catch myself pursuing happiness, I immediately issue a harsh punishment! :) Here's the problem: happiness isn't "out there" waiting to be found or acquired. Happiness is what's left over when you remove the false ideas about what life is and who you are. That involves a lot of introspection, not chasing my ideas about what I want, or...

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I am not a religous person, and never have been. My family are not all that religious, we never went to chruch or anything like that. What are you thoughts on budism? I'm thinking of reading about it and seeing what it's like, am quite interested. Buddhism is about "awakening", which has a very specific meaning. It's not about adopting beliefs about metaphysical things that cannot be proven, it's about learning to investigate your own experience in a particular way, until you resolve certain key matters about life that are essential to being whole, satisfied, and fully "yourself". Some people argue that...

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I have friends who keep making gay signs to me stroking my legs kissing as a joke i guess like they do but im actually gay they dont know that or do they think there straight but dont know do they know im gay what do i do help if you can please Ok, first things first. Let's learn some new words: 1. "Boundaries": you have a right to a certain "personal space", and a right to be treated with respect and dignity. But, you have to ENFORCE those rights to keep them intact. That means not letting people touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable, and telling people that it's not acceptable to make...

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My law teacher told me that you could write a cheque on a regular piece of paper as long as it's got all the necessary info and the account holder's signature. Is that true? My understanding is "yes", although this may have changed in recent years -- and you may well encounter some extravagant processing fees from the bank for such an instrument. I remember back in the 70's, there was a story that made the news... somebody had paid a contractor for work done on their property, using an old door as the check. The account number and other details...

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I have lived with my partner for 3 yrs and am completely dependant on him. What are my rights within the home? He gave me a laptop to use with my own account and now wants to take it away from me. Do I have rights to use his property? A gift has legal implications: if he gave it to you as a present, it's yours and he can't take it back. If it was merely loaned for your use, it's his and he can. Establishing whether or not it was a gift can be challenging, but if you have some evidence that it was a gift you're probably on pretty good ground there. Another right you have is to be evicted properly if...

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How much trouble have you had with the US Mail system, if any? Yeah, they keep putting my Publisher's Clearinghouse $1,000,000 winning check in somebody else's mailbox.

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Who made the best trade this year? The Lakers got Pau Gasol for $24 in beads and trinkets. I think that's the deal of the century.

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How long do you think a relationship can last if you are still looking for happiness? If think the one you are with has made your life better, but you still aren't completely happy, but you truly love them, what do you do? If you're looking for your relationship to make you happy, you will look forever. That's not your relationship's job: that's your job. If you're already happy, you still may have questions about whether or not your current relationship is the right one for you -- but that's an easier problem to solve, because you're not burdening the relationship with the...

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Has Michael Jackson ever done a concert or a music video with bare skin below his neck (especially bare shoulders) but above the waist (large areas of bare skin, not just a slightly dipped V-collar or a few buttons unbuttoned on his jacket)? Somebuddy just tripped my Ick breaker!

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What do you think is needed for true happiness in life? Money? Love? Relationships? Acceptance? etc. Nothing. The simple realization of the fact that you're already whole is all you need. Everything you think you need in order to be happy is just another dead end. Nothing wrong with those things, but they don't qualify as conditions for happiness.

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I wanna go back with my exboyfriend so bad but all he wants to do is keep having sex with me and every time i tell him about his friends likeing me he always get jealous what should i do O' i'm 17 and he is22 is this a problem. Yes, this is a problem. He is exploiting you, he is not interested in a real relationship, and you are allowing him to do this exploitation. Get a grip, girl -- do not be tempted to pursue this guy anymore. Value yourself a bit higher, and find someone who actually cares about you... or just date casually for social contact.

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Other than Fred Phelps, who is the LGBT's worst enemy? I just read that Dr. Laura is anti gay. Am I missing anyone other than Tony Dungy? Does anyone else famous criticize the LGBT? Fred Phelps isn't even close to being a notable enemy -- if anything, he produces a backlash effect: homophobes don't want to be associated with him for fear of being tarred with his brush. Really, the worst enemy is the anonymous person who is too "polite" to admit their bigotry, but quietly votes for the anti-gay candidates, quietly indoctrinates their children into...

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Do you always take the side of the person asking the question, or assume they are giving the whole story? Or do you wonder about what is being left out? I always know they're leaving things out, but there may be doubt about the relevance and significance of what is omitted. I'm not shy about challenging the question if it smells funny, or if there's an intuition that something crucial is being disregarded. You can't really help someone if you're just rubber-stamping their distortions.

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I often feel like I'm totally repulsed from being praised by people, then at the same time I get upset when I'm not acknowledged for something I think I deserve. Does anyone understand this? I'm afraid it's nothing very exotic... the simplest explanation is "weak self esteem": you want attention and praise to build up your sense of validity, but because there are underlying doubts about yourself, you don't trust and appreciate the praise when it comes. So the treatment program that I would suggest is to start a project of self-knowledge: the more you...

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Assuming I'll be making $1600 a month before taxes, filing as married with no dependents in VA, what is my take home pay? The easy way to answer this is to get a copy of Turbo Tax, and input all of your information. That will accomplish two things: help you to understand your tax situation, and tell you what your approximate tax burden will be. Then you just divide that by the number of paychecks in a year to get your federal tax cost per paycheck. You can repeat the process for state tax. Then, figure out...

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MY BOYFRIENDS MOM IS DYING AND SHE WANTS FOR ME AND HER SON TO TAKE CUSTODY OF HER 8 YR OLD DAUGHTER. WHAT SHOULD I DO ? WHERE DO I GO TO GET CUSTODY? I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START? ANYONE PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE. THANKS You'll probably need to get an attorney who specializes in family law in your state. The phone book will get you started there. This is a huge responsibility. If you're going to do it, it's a good idea to have your expectations set for that -- a child will change your life in many ways. Don't take them on casually. Good luck.

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For those who are lonely: how do you cope with loneliness? I'm not lonely, but I know how it feels. My take on this is that loneliness is what happens when we don't feel whole on our own, and don't have someone else to distract us from that uncomfortable feeling. So the way to cope with it is to investigate "why am I not whole and complete on my own?". When you get to the bottom of that well, you'll find that...

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Why does it seem so hard to figue out your feelings and thoughts the older you get......you would think it would become eaiser The problem is with "figuring them out". That never gets easy, because it's the wrong tool for the job. To know your feelings and thoughts, you have to learn to OBSERVE without judgment and reaction, and that's a very different skill than ANALYSIS ("figuring out"). So if you're practicing observation, the job does become much easier with time. If...

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Today i met my girlfriend who is going to be my wife sooner & she said that she is having a problem that whenever she sees a boy infront of him she feels that he will rape her (whether that male is his brother or father)?why is she fee Most likely her feelings are a "conditioned response" to something that happened -- perhaps she was raped, or threatened, by a male when she was very young. I don't know... but I know how conditioning works. Think of any habit you have, like reaching for a light switch when you leave the bedroom. If the electrician moves the light switch, you will continue to reach for it...

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My GF (8 yrs) male friend took photos of her, w/o my knowledge in see-through lingerie to advertise his photo biz website. When I found out she said she didn't tell me because I would make a "big deal" about it and I'm being "too controlling." Thoughts? It may be true that you're too controlling, I don't know. But it would have been wise for her to at least tell you she was planning to do this. Unless she was in the habit of doing this sort of thing when you met her, it does represent a provocative action -- the fact that she didn't tell you shows that she was aware of that. It would have been better if she had valued your...

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Does true love exist??? Absolutely.

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If your boyfriend of two years, lives with you, and your 20 year old son, needed to move back in with you, because his roommate joined the army and cant afford it by himself, but your boyfriend doesnt want him to, what would you? That's a tough call... I tend to come down on the side of "this kid should solve his problem by himself", assuming he's able bodied and minded. Those kinds of challenges are what makes an adult, and it's easy to interfere with a young person's development by bailing them out too much. At 20, he shouldn't need that much bailing. But you can also make the...

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Has anyone else noticed that both Pi and Avogadro's Constant have 1415 within the first seven places past the decimal? Universal math conspiracy? Each time someone discovers a numerology pattern, a baby dies. Keep it up, killer! :)

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Guys: what would you do if you had to pee at a club and you found someone sitting in the urinal, passed out, pants around his knees, with his friend in his hand? (This really happened where I work!) Tape a sign on his back: "Do not disturb: Viagra Sensitivity Test in Progress"

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What is your personal quote? "There's two kinds of people in this world -- those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't."

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For the very first time in two months, i received an answer to my questions on Answerbag. some glinch somewhere, i suppose. thanks everyone. wonder what was wrong? I have yet to receive a single answer, ever! What am I doing wrong, I wonder?

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Me and my mom get into huge fights. She can get really physical, and put me in a headlock, hit me, or cover my mouth so I can't breathe. Then she doesn't admit she did. I would never hit my mom so there is no need for her to do this. Is this child Yes, this is child abuse. Your mom needs help, that is NOT appropriate parental behavior. You should tell a teacher at school, a therapist, or a police officer -- or you can get bold and just call the county Social Services office listed in the government section of your phone book (usually it's near the front). Just tell them what happened and answer their questions.

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For the very first time in two months, i received an answer to my questions on Answerbag. some glinch somewhere, i suppose. thanks everyone. wonder what was wrong? I guess the glinch stole Christmas, and somebody stole it back! :)

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What is the basic belief of Scientology?? Do you belief or practice Scientology? The basic belief of Scientology is that if you spend enough money on auditing, courses, e-meters, and related paraphernalia, you can become an all-powerful being who is free to ignore the laws of nature. Of course, they're clever enough not to actually SAY it this way in the marketing literature.

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I need help in regards to my girlfriend's children, they relate to me as a daddy figure and I have only been with the mother for only a year and a half and I feel that this is too soon for the children to relate to me. Please help? Thank you. Why do you think it's too soon? A year and a half is a loooooonngg time in the eyes of a child (remember when you measured your age in 1/4 years?). I'm wondering why you're not thrilled that they're bonding with you -- often the failure to bond in that kind of situation is a big problem.

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I need something to help me cope ,i play sports and go to therapy but it dosent work, suggestions? Meditation is very effective for stress relief. You can get a basic introduction here: http://www.mro.org/zmm/teachings/meditation.php

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Who is the most famous person from your home town? Richard Nixon.

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Have you ever had a strange, real experience that literally made the hair stand up on the back of your neck? Most of the 1970's was like that for me.

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If a guy I like said on the phone "you're so easy", what did he mean? (By the way, I'm a virgin, so I'm not easy in that sense) Generally speaking, the way to get answers to a "what did you mean by that?" question is to ask the person who said it. There isn't enough context here for any of us to provide a helpful interpretation.

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I dont -necessarily- believe in a god. but religious identity is important. i dont think that one CANT know. it is dependant on the person. my views are liberal. idk how to define this religion wise. can you help me out? do you have suggestions? I think you should distinguish between spirituality and religion. Religion is organized spirituality (ideally). It sounds to me like you are interested in spiritual matters, and may have views about them, but haven't actually formalized that by choosing a specific religious path. That's a pretty common category people find themselves in these days, so you have lots of company. ...

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How long do I have to stay out of America for, if only on a 90 Day Visa, before I can Re Enter America? You need to distinguish between the Visa Waiver Program (VWP) and having an actual visa. A visa is something you have to apply for in advance, provide documentation, wait for approval, etc. When the visa period ends, you have to leave the country. To get another visa, you have to apply for it, etc. The VWP is entirely different from that: if you are from a qualified country (generally,...

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Have you ever felt like nothing you do goes right? if yes how did you turn things around? You start by learning to distinguish thoughts from feelings. "Nothing I do goes right" is a thought, not a feeling. This thought is a distortion -- it's simply not true. There's nobody who does everything wrong: such a person would be dead within a few days. What's going on is that you have a lot of ideas about how you should be, and how your life should be going,...

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If other star systems are receiving our TV & radio broadcasts years later, why aren't we receiving theirs? We are, but we call it "political advertising".

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Would it make sense to just say "Political organisation" on a resume, if you didn't want the employer to know which one? Or am I being silly and I should just put it down? If you don't want to reveal your political leanings, you could list it as some generic form, yes... but you should be as specific as possible about the type of organization, without identifying party affiliation, etc. So you might say it was a "political action committee", or an "election campaign for {office}". The more specific the better. Be aware, however,...

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When someone close to you betrays you, how do you "get over it"? The general way we get over things is to allow them to heal with time. However, there are a variety of things which can make that process go haywire, and we get "stuck" with the trauma. The barriers to healing generally fall into two related categories: clinging and resistance. An example of clinging is someone who can't let go of their dead spouse, year after year they...

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I am sick, I have a cold, should I suck it up and run and weightlift? will it affect me if I don't workout during my sick period? Generally you should just be sick and take care of yourself -- rest, etc. Yes, it will affect your conditioning, but your basic health is more important. You need your energy to get better.

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If someone pointed out to you that you had a serious fault in your personality would you be humble enough to change? I would be very surprised if someone pointed out a serious flaw in my personality that I wasn't already aware of. But would I "change"? If it's a serious flaw in my personality, what are my best options? I find that trying to change my personality is an exercise in frustration for the most part: lots of smoke and struggle, but not a lot of result. There is a much...

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What is your favorite Boolean logic expression? I'm a big fan of XOR. AND, BUT and OR, they'll get you pretty far! - "Conjunction Junction", Schoolhouse Rock.

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If you get married in a Unitarian church, it's legal, right? I know that's sort of a weird question, but they do commitment ceremonies and that sort of thing, so I didn't know if the U.S. government acknowledged actual marriages done there or not. Yes, being married by a Unitarian minister in the U.S. is a perfectly legal marriage, as long as you have a marriage license.

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Are any of your family members incarcerated right now? No, we're taking a brief prison break.

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If an emerging performing artist created a nonprofit to support and develop their talent, would his or her parents be able to write off the money they give them as a charitable donation? If they succeeded in getting the non-profit status approved by the I.R.S, yes. But good luck with that -- our revenue boys aren't as dull-witted as one might think! :)

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My mans ex-girlfriend still hangs with his family. We've been together 12 years. They didn't like her when they were together. so why now and Im supossed to accept it. Clearly you resent her. There are a number of things sort of mixed together here: - Certainly she has a right to hang out with his family, they have a right to be friends with her. - Who says you have to accept this? And what exactly does that "acceptance" mean? Nobody can make you like her. There's all sorts of policies you can adopt regarding her, for example...

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Is there an animal that can survive just off breathing air? Nope. Everbuddy gots to eats something.

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When i talk to girls i like i become really shy and i loose all my confidence but when i'm talking to a girl i'm not interested in i'm fine. Does anyone have any pointers in coming across more confident? Yeah, forget about trying to come across "more confident", and learn to just be yourself and be present. What does that mean? It means that you let go of ideas about how you SHOULD be, and learn how to be who you actually ARE. We are all the unwitting recipients of images... from movies, TV, books, others in our lives... and those images tell us how we should be. So you...

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I've been seeing this great guy. this weekend something came up and we were not able to get together . out of anger i asked him not to waste my time. now i feel bad. i've apologized and now he won't talk to me. i like this guy but was being selfish. help! Just give it some time, maybe a few days. It's common in new relationships to have fights and go into not-speaking mode for a bit. 99% of the time it doesn't mean anything major.

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How do you get a guy friend to like you? There's no mystery here: you have to tell them that you're interested. That's what gets the gears turning in their head, if the gears are able to turn for you. If it's some secret you keep to yourself, that's a major barrier to forward progress.

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My friends always say how good looking, funny, smart, and outgoing i am. They say that i must chose to be single (not true) because swarms of girls should be around me, but, i do not have a girlfriend. Any help? Having a girlfriend is a matter of choosing a specific person and making sure they know you're interested. Are you doing that? You can't date "swarms of girls" unless you're Hugh Hefner or something. You date a specific person because you're drawn to that person. So what happens when you pick a particular girl and tell her how you feel about her? If...

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I've been cheating on my boyfriend but I feel like he drove me to do it by not being around. How do I tell him that I've cheated? I think the most important thing here is to take responsibility for your actions: nobody "drove you to it", you made a choice. Now you want to blame him for your choice, that's a mistake. Just face up to the fact that you did what you wanted to do, and recognize that any consequences will be the result of your own actions. Beyond that, I would suggest you maybe...

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Would anyone consider a very long distance relationship a real relationship? Absolutely it's a real relationship... it's just a relationship that's weak in the physical dimension! :) Relationships are about the bonding of hearts and minds, mainly... and that can happen through any communication medium. You could be sending messages through carrier pigeons and it would still be a real relationship. But there's no question that physical presence...

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How do i know if im stressed? Sit up straight in a chair, in a room with no distractions, and don't move for 5 minutes. Relax, breathe, and count your breaths from 1 to 10. Don't think about anything in particular, just stay present to the moment and stay with your breathing and counting. If you can do that without wandering off into your own thoughts repeatedly, you're not stressed! Otherwise, you are.

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Why does it seems like not many people actually have presence of mind anymore? Everyone seems to be so deep in their own head, they don't notice the world around them. Am I alone in this thought? No, you're just alone in the thought that something fundamental has changed: people have been lost in their own thoughts throughout most of human history, it's rare for someone to become present to the moment. "Presence of mind" is actually a very high state that many of us encounter only rarely: to just "be here now", paying attention to what is actually...

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I am going in for a 2nd Interview at a very important job. There is only one other applicant, what is the most important thing I can do in this interview? Or just general tips will do! - Relax and be yourself - Listen, listen, listen. - Don't pretend. - Notice details: the photos on the interviewers desk, the clothes they're wearing, the temperature in the room, the pattern on the carpet. That's all about being PRESENT, which is the key to being appropriate. - Remember that between two equally qualified individuals, the person who is better able to...

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Who first invented what is now called Karaoke? I don't know, but he better not move to my town.

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Each person responsible for debt incurred from date of seperation. Wouldnt that mean although I was ordered to pay credit cards that ex would have to pay for charges she racked up after seperation to date? In theory, the date of separation is a "line in the sand", and you are each responsible for your own debts after that point. However... the settlement agreement governs everything. If it says you have to hop on one leg three times a day facing East, then that's the law for you. So the question is all "what does your settlement agreement say"? If it's silent...

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Will you support my campaign for banning proxy anonymizers? There's really no way to enforce such a ban, so I guess I'm not very enthusiastic about the effort.

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What are some things that are sacred to you? I think the most important thing in life is being able to appreciate each moment -- just the ordinary things that make up every day. This is a subtle art that doesn't get much press... it involves letting go of our persistent ideas about how things should be, and what we want or don't want, and learning the small backwards step that reflects warmly on what actually is. Sort of...

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How do you keep from suiciding when everyone who cared for you left or passed away?...and the only people you do have now hate you, demean you, or make fun of you all the time? I don't see the point in existing. Well that sounds painful. Nobody else can tell you that you should live or not live: that's a very basic choice you have to make for yourself. If you're just depressed, which is what this sounds like, it's a good idea to get some help -- a counselor or clergy, someone you respect and trust who will listen and be helpful. The old saying about suicide is that it's a...

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Have you ever had one of those 'perfect moments' in life that you wished would never end or are you still waiting? Oh yes, I have many such moments... almost every day. But I'm generally pretty good about letting them go. Trying to hang on to an experience you like is just as bad as trying to escape from an experience that's unpleasant. Life is fired at us point blank, the best thing to do is bite the bullets one at a time.

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How can i get the motivation to exercise? when i get depressed about not being skinny all i want to do is sleep... It sounds like you're caught in a bit of a "vicious circle", i.e. you believe you're overweight, and that affects your self esteem, and then you think that being thinner will help, but because you feel poorly about yourself you either don't believe that exercise will work, or don't trust yourself to follow through, so it all just seems too much and you collapse...

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Who was the best Atlanta Hawks player of all time? Probably "Doctor J" (Julius Erving), who donned a Hawks uniform but never actually got to play, due to legal issues with his contract! http://www.nba.com/history/players/erving_bio.html

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What does it mean to believe in a purely metaphysical reality? Basically it means that one does not believe in "objective" reality -- a reality which is independent of thought and ideas.

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Do you cut people slack when they're drunk, or make them take full responsibility for their actions(or words)? There's a difference between explanation and justification: alcohol DOES explain bad behavior, but it doesn't justify it. Nobody can escape responsibility for any of their actions or inactions, that's just the nature of reality. It doesn't matter whether I excuse someone or not, reality "remembers". This isn't some magical thinking, it's just...

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My boyfriend and i have a long distance relationship when he went home last the next day he told me he didn't want this anymore and needed to be alone we were just talking about everything we were going to do when he came back next week...what happen I suspect that he was just 'playing along' with all the talk about next week, and that he intended all along to bail out at the end of his visit. The big question in this is "should you keep trying?". Nobody else can answer that for you, but I think the best general-purpose advice for people about relationships is that you have to be whole on your own before you can...

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If I'm thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend, is there any thing at all to help me see if I'm making a mistake or not? Love is always a tough subject area to give advice. The best I can do is say that it's important to understand your own motives. What sort of thoughts are you having? What is driving your desire to be free of this girl, and for that matter what was driving your interest in her? We all have to make choices and be responsible for the consequences. Nobody else knows your life or your...

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Has anyone ever had Guillian-Barre' Syndrome? When? How bad? Any residual? I had a friend with this disease years ago. He was a perfectly normal guy, then one day we got word that he was in the hospital, in a coma. I went to see him, and indeed he was completely unresponsive. About 4 months later, he came out of the coma, but he had serious permanent brain damage. He had trouble functioning in many ways, and was never able to return to work again. Our group...

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If a father was able to care for his child during the day instead of the grandmother who cared for the child in the past, does the mother have the right to tell the father no? The mother is working all day and not with the child. Unless the father's parental rights have been limited or severed by the court, it's perfectly acceptable for him to care for the children. He has a very powerful set of rights as a parent. Presumably if the parents are divorced, the divorce decree spelled out who has custody of the child and under what conditions. That would be the primary governing document to consider.

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My husband is a contractor and he received a 1099 misc. The company that he contracts for deducts a percentage for workmans compensation. Does this dollar amount need to be included in his income tax return. I have never heard of that kind of arrangement -- a 1099 contractor is normally responsible for all of their own taxes, Social Security, etc... if they're withholding anything like workman's comp, that would be very risky on their part -- it signals that they consider him to be an employee. That could trigger problems with the IRS. In any case, workman's comp payments are not...

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What will you do to seek for funs If you have no choice but to bear a long-term loneliness without any friends to talk with? The most important thing in a situation like that is to learn to appreciate each moment of your life, just as it is. You can't do anything about the situation, yes? So tormenting yourself with thoughts about how much better it COULD be is senseless and unwise. What do you have available to you right now? If you're not in pain, if you're healthy, you can be happy. But...

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What is the one thing I can do to reach my daughter emotionally and make a connection? She is 16 and a punk rocker. Get interested in what she is interested in. This is going to feel strange, most likely, but it generally works to some degree with teens. Go thru her music collection, find out what she's listening to, read up on those artists. Study it like you would study any topic in school. Making a connection with another person is about communication, and a vast amount of our ability to...

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If you are vegetarian (strict one= no eggs, butter, cheese) , allergic to peanuts and beans, how do you get protein? Would you die? There are lots of other kinds of nuts other than peanuts, and soy provides protein in many vegan diets.

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Is there some kind of ab rehab? i'm addicted. any advice how to walk away? If you're serious about reducing your AB usage, you should avoid the extremes of absolute abstinence and full-on addiction. Start by learning to close your eyes and relax while you're in front of the keyboard. Interrupt the automatic urge to click that next link... closing your eyes halts the stimulation, and gives you a chance to relax, breathe, and notice that you're...

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The guy who crazy for me gave me chocolates for valentines day but i reallly want to get him off my back. how do i turn him down???(hes a geek) At a minimum, you should make sure you get your message across without any uncertainty, something like "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in a relationship with you, and want to make sure you understand that clearly." For extra credit, you could add a HELPFUL bit of honest feedback for him, so he knows what to work on in the future. I don't know what you mean by...

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Am I the only person to whom the concept of "reach for your dreams" just never seemed very applicable or interesting, and even sounded a little overly dramatic and contrived? Maybe that’s why I'm just an amorphous blob, I dunno. No, you're not the only person with this notion. And you're in the right... partially, at least. There's a difference between fantasy-thinking, hope, empty wishes, and grandiose self-flattery, vs. inspired possibility grounded in good planning and driven by personal responsibility. Not everyone is good at recognizing the difference, and there's a lot of sloppy Disneyish...

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My mind is so disturbed, it is lost and i feel that my brain is decaying. How do i focus? Help please... You're wise to notice this and do something about it. Probably the single most important thing which is missing in modern society is a widespread understanding of the means to, and importance of, stabilizing one's own mind. The short answer is... learn meditation. It's crucial to build your ability to stay present in life, centered, aware, and balanced. Modern life is full...

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Where is Heaven? IF you believe in it, Is it on the same plane of life that we live in.. perhaps in a different time dimension or is it somewhere else? It's right here, right now. The first step in finding it is to toss out all ideas about what it is supposed to be like.

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How can I overcome a very slight fear of being in a confined space? (its really not much, but sometimes I do breathe a bit heavier) One of the best ways to deal with any anxiety is to learn how to be with it directly as it is, rather than trying to "overcome" or escape from it. There are techniques to aid with this, one of the simplest is to count your breaths carefully and work on being aware of the details of your experience. To do that, just mentally count each exhale... a slow "one", then pay...

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My wife is Pregnant!!!! Does anyone else understand the Joy I feel? It seems it can't be compared. Congratulations! What a wonderful thing!

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17% of americans under the age of 20 have never done this? Admitted to not knowing everything.

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What is your definition of a 'friend'? If the relationship is one-sided (you want to spend time, she doesn't) it hardly matters whether you call it friendship or something else. Clearly it's not satisfying to you. I suggest you let her go and move on.

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Whats more attractive? well brought up, healthy eating, fitness freak girl? or tattooed smoker girl or mixture of boath In general, health is associated with attractiveness -- that's a biological bias for reproductive success. Your mileage may vary, of course.

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How would you define "Torch" music? Just as emotional pieces sung in bars:)(LOL--sorta) or is there an actual definitive descripition of it? Songs that make your heart burn for lost love, unrequited love... loneliness encaged in melody.

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Is it child abuse to tell a sensitive impressionable mind about eternal torment in a flaming hell? You wouldn't let them watch fictional horror movies, but make them believe THAT is actually going to happen? I don't think it qualifies as child abuse, no. It does qualify as poor parenting though. Children should be encouraged to understand their relationship to others, to see the connections we all share, and to respect the principles of personal responsibility and cause-and-effect as a way to get a clear moral footing. Propagating myths about eternal punishment distorts their ability to...

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One of my friends father abuses her verbally, and sometimes even physically. If I'm not completely sure, should I still tell someone anyways and if so can I tell the school consular and try to get her to talk about it? You should allow social services to look into this. You do that by filing an anonymous Child Abuse Report (CAR). Most counties in the U.S. have a phone number you can call where you can report suspected child abuse, you can find it in your phone book, usually in the beginning of the book in the county government section. Look for "child abuse" or "family law", etc. The...

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How to enlarge my pennis Enlarge your self-confidence, the rest comes for free.

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Is it ok to cut off a sibling if they are causing you stress to the point it's affecting your daily life with your husband and children? In short, yes. Anybody who cannot honor the boundaries you've established for a relationship is a potential candidate for the dustbin. This can be hard to do, especially if it's someone close like a relative. Ideally, you should do your best to communicate with your sibling and gradually "ramp up" the volume of your objections. Have you talked to them, and told them...

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Is it better to go back or to go forward? Life can only be understood looking backward. It must be lived looking forward.

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My husband always wants to split up rather than communicate through a problem together. He has now become aggressive and violent by smashing my things and saying horrible mean things to me. He is never sorry, its always my fault. What is happening to him? You've posted in mental illnesses, but really you should be posting in "breaking up". None of us will be able to diagnose his condition, and such a diagnosis wouldn't help you anyway -- you need to get out for your own safety. Smashing things is likely the precursor to physical violence, and someone who is making no effort to work through problems is not someone you want...

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