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What help is there for pedophiles? In particular ones that have not crossed over to acting on their abnormal desire? No haters please. Perhaps psychological counselling can help - but it would have to be with a person specially trained in these areas. There has been some success with psychotherapists working with sex offenders in prison. The problem lies in the person's fundamental make-up and is usually a result of childhood experiences. Not everyone who was abused becomes an abuser, but its safe to say that practically every...

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I'm sure God never makes mistakes, but why did he make me then? Nobody likes me, not even my abusive family and I'm very ugly If you're sure that God never makes mistakes then you must also be sure he hasn't made one with you. The mistake is your own - to believe the negative opinions/actions of those closest to you. Try doing some voluntary work, maybe helping those with serious problems and you will soon forget your own unhappiness. Can you move away from your family? Your own opinion of yourself is the root of your...

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I realy wish to torture and kill rapists, pedophiles, and KKKs Nazis ect. is it abnormal??? It's not abnormal if you have been the victim of some sort of abuse of power. You are bound to feel helpless and angry, even murderous. But, remember, feeling these things is ok - acting out your feelings would make you as bad as the perpetrators of such violence and prejudice. Look inside yourself and if there are painful memories then maybe talk to someone and hopefully, one day, come to a...

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Have you ever been in a crowd of friends/people, been in middle of conversation then said something odd/dumb/embarrassing and then the room went silent? I was speaking on Skype to a friend and her partner came onto the screen wearing just his pants and I said, 'Show us your willie' (!) - don't know why I said it! He went quiet and moved away, she sat looking very unamused. I wish I could un-say it but what can I do now? It just happened!

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Have you ever been in a crowd of friends/people, been in middle of conversation then said something odd/dumb/embarrassing and then the room went silent? I was speaking on Skype to a friend and her partner came onto the screen wearing just his pants and I said, 'Show us your willie' (!) - don't know why I said it! He went quiet and moved away, she sat looking very unamused. I wish I could un-say it but what can I do now? It just happened!

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Have you ever been in a crowd of friends/people, been in middle of conversation then said something odd/dumb/embarrassing and then the room went silent? I was speaking on Skype to a friend and her partner came onto the screen wearing just his pants and I said, 'Show us your willie' (!) - don't know why I said it! He went quiet and moved away, she sat looking very unamused. I wish I could un-say it but what can I do now? It just happened!

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In conversation with someone,have you ever accidentally said something that was embarrassing to you|them? I introduced a guy who was quite famous in the 70's by inserting the title of his hit record between his first and surnames. He gave me a shocked glance and I almost fell through the floor! Ugh! I'm still mortified to think I could do something so crass!

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What do I do.... Please help!!!! You have lived with hurt and loss of trust for too long. If you feel attracted to this guy it's because it's easier to trust a stranger than your own man! How sad is that? And - there is no love without trust, I guess. Maybe you need to trust someone again - but be sure he's the right one. No good getting out of the frying pan and into the fire! Sex is powerful and yes, chemistry counts - but...

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What does vulnerable mean? Ok, it's a while since you asked, but first time I read it. It means what all your answerers said. But it also means that for some reason your defences are less than average. Which means others can/will take advantage of you and be cynical, uncaring, disbelieving... and you will end up feeling... guess what?... vulnerable. Like an oyster without a shell. Like a fish out of water. Like a musical...

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What does vulnerable mean? Share your answer...

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What would you say to the parents of the 2-year-old who smokes 40 cigarettes a day? If your child means anything to you then stop this dangerous habit immediately! It will only take a few days to get the nicotine out of his system and he will no longer crave cigarettes. If he cries/has tantrumes then et hiom - he won't die of them but he will probably die of smoking sooner or later! You might as well let him play with a loaded gun.

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I caught my boyfriend packing viagra in his cosmetic bag for a business trip, is he cheating? He said it was to give to a friend. I wouldn't believe him. If he's cheating and lying be grateful that you found out now rather than later. I'd tell him not to bother unpacking when he returns.

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Do you forgive your husband & father of 6 for kissing another girl while drunk at a party 3 yrs ago? He just told me 2day. I'm crushed. Yes, it was only a mad moment, probably fuelled by alcohol and ultimately meaningless. Of course, you're hurt but he's honest with you even tho' it took a long time to admit what he did. Why did he choose to tell you now, I wonder? Is the girl still around, is she a friend? I hope you can put it our of your mind if it was just an isolated incident as this could eat away at your trust and peace...

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Is it possible to be so numb that you cant feel love when ur in it? or do we all have the human ability to find a partner and love them? I think we all have the ability to love and be loved unless we are seriously mentally ill but there weould be other symptoms then. If you feel so numb maybe you've been hurt and are not yet ready for a new relationship? Or, if you're quite young perhaps you still have some emotional maturing to do. If you feel comfortable and happy in the other person's company and enjoy doing similar things,...

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What is therapeutic alliance? When the empathy and understanding of the therapist joins with the confusion and helplessness of the client in order to move the client forward - as if joined together against a mutual difficulty - then you have the therapeutic alliance. Like, 'I'm on your side!' Its about trust, mutual trust and sharing the same goals which are about the well-being and growth of the client.

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Which approach to psychology would be apt to say "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts?" Transpersonal.

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I'm a mormon, I like swearing, I hate my enemies, I love money, I dont love my neighbours, I'm suicidal. Am I going to hell when I die? Mormonism, like all 'isms', 'ologies' and 'ists' is a man-made concept. Believe if you wish, if it makes you feel better. But surely our Creator will not send us to hell for not doing/believing as others tell us we ought? Talk to God yourself, who needs a middle man? As foe feeling negative emotions, well, how real are we if we don't? And how can we stop ourselves from experiencing our own...

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help needed, ASAP. re- sex, teenage, bleeding, first time. If you are inexperienced it is natural to bleed a little the first time you have sex. Hopefully your lover is gentle and patient. If not, be careful as he may not have your needs uppermost. Its vital to be relaxed and trusting when you have sex with someone. Be sure to use protection as sexual diseases or unwanted pregnancies can spoil everything and also cause untold trouble in the future...

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How does one develop the art of reading a story "at various levels" (whatever that means)? If you think of a book such as Lord of the Rings by Tolkein you will see that it may be read by a child in a literal sense, just enjoying the story. But, since adults too, enjoy this book then it is possible to see the story in a more symbolic way. In this way we can learn to look for deeper or hidden meanings in works of literature. By analysing the content and actively trying to understand...

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Is it correct to say "as she felt her muscles relax a bit" It's probably ok in some respect, but it might sound less clumsy if you said, 'as she felt her muscles relax a little'... 'a bit' sounds more to do with an object, i.e a bit of fluff... Or, I might expect you to say, 'as she felt her muscles relax a bit more', this is comparative to her earlier implied state.

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If you were named after a city, which would it be? Florence as I love the place, but I wouldn't like it to be shortened to Flo'! (My mother-in-law was called Florence and I loved her too!)

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What is your interpretation/feelings about what Kate Moss said in a recent interview, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." She's getting blasted for supposedly encouraging eating disorders. I think that she was expressing her own personal preference and that whilst chocolate and all those 'forbidden' goodies may taste great, feeling slim/skinny is a better option - for her. Because she's a public figure who influences many young women then it's unfortunate as she needs to be aware of the consequences of her opinions on those vulnerable anorexic types. I...

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I amin the process of filing for divorce and am now 6 months pregnant with my soon to be ex- husband. When the baby is born, I have decided to exclusvely breast feed. Can my husband fight this in court? I shouldn't think any court would try to prevent a mother from breast-feeding her child. And why would your ex wish to do so? If the baby is his without doubt then he may have a right to access but unless you are an unfit mother then you will have custody and therefore the right to decide what and how to feed your child.

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Would someone from the U.K. (I'm from the U.S) kindly explain the definition of a "wanker"? Is it profanity? Whilst wanker literally means masturbator it is a casual insult intended to mean that the person is simply a waste of time, pathetic, ineffectual etc., It's become so 'normal' it's no longer considered too rude even for kids to say - and unfortunately lots of them do!

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Lately, when i wake up in the morning i have weird headaches and they last for about an hour after i get up. Can anyone help me get rid of them?.. :) It may be high or low blood pressure causing this. You ought to get that checked out and if it's ok then perhaps you're eating something at night that is having an effect on you, cheese, chocolate? Or alcohol? With persisitent headaches it's always best to get a medical check-up.

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What is a word for someone Who thinks things through, Somone who doesn't react on actions but a well thought out plan A strategist? A tactician would be one who reacts to things at the time but a more thoughtful type would plan a strategy and try to stick to it.

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Free will? Yes or No? How does it work? I think that the difference between man and the animals is just this question of free will. We are the only species who can exercise choice in our actions. An animal is purely instinctive, whereas we are both instinctive/intuitive and intellectual/spiritual. We have consciousness and that means we can observe ourselves and even our own thought processes. So... I think we do have free will adn...

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Do you believe that Love is quantitative as well as qualitative? I mean does it run out, or is there enought to go around? Love never ends. Love is pure energy and therefore, so long as we are around to perceive it we will know it. I believe that the more love we give the more we receive but its important to love yourself first, that way you can truly appreciate and love others.

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What is our purpose in life? Or do we have a purpose at all? If we go by religious instructions such as the Qoran or The Bible then we are indeed instructed to worship God and it follows that if we spent our lives in the constant state of gratitude and humilty this implies, then we would probably indeed feel happier. The Buddha exhorts us to be happy, that it is our duty to be so in order to lighten the collective burden of suffering on earth. Seen in...

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Might the light at the end of the tunnel near death experiencers see be a wormhole to a sub-atomic universe as whatever energy life is descends from the macro back to the micro, back to creation from where it came where physical laws DON'T exist. Of course it's possible. After all, energy cannot be created or destroyed so where does it go when we die? Our basic 'essence' may continue after our physical self has ceased to be, thought is energy and our living thoughts may propel our dying spirit into another level of existence...

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Why does the music have to end? The music never ends, it was there before you and will be there afterwards. What we hear now is just the phrase or bar we're in...

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What according to you are the 3 basic rules to succeed and be happy in the in the game of life? Love yourself Love others Always be true to yourself

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The man I am divorcing has been very abusive, 21 years. His parents and family are supportive of him by denying and justifying his despicable behavior. I feel he and his family should be confronted in some fashion. How should they be confronted? I read the other replies and they make a lot of sense. I just want to say that you obviously still feel a huge amount of anger and hurt, that's natural in the situation. Don't give him/them any more power over you. Become yourself, you must have compromised yourself a lot over the years. When you are truly yourself this man and his family won't matter any more. By wanting...

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Ive been going out with this man that 50 years old and I'm 40. He's has this best friend that he's had sex with in the past and i still feel that he still likes her because he always puts her first before me, even though live with him. Is this cheating? In my experience it's almost impossible for a man and a woman to be 'just friends' as one or the other will be sexually attracted - that's just my observation, not an absolute rule. So... either she still fancies him and he enjoys the frisson/flattery/ego trip... or he still fancies her. So let's assume it's not the latter as he's with you. BUT.. and it's...

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Maybe I'm being silly but... My bf (32 y/o) has a large sexual past. He says he loves me more than anybody else before but,can someone with such a "conquer list" REALLY fall in love? Yes, of course. In fact, with experience he's more likely to recognize the difference between lust and love. Don't be intimidated by his past, it's not a threat to you if he's chosen to be with you and you're not in competition with anyone else. See his past as just that - it's past. Without experience he might still be tempted to wander even if committed, whereas,...

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What is difference between wisdom and knowledge Knowledge can be gained from external resources. Wisdom must be gained from internal resources and doesn't necessarily imply knowledge in a worldly or academic sense. Wisdom is also an attribute of grace and therefore even a child can show wisdom beyond its years.

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I have just been accepted as a COAT, I'm not sure what COAT I want to wear though. Do you have any ideas? Since you are unsure it suggests you have a diversity of interests, so why not become a COAT OF MANY COLOURS? lol x

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How far in a relationship is it ok to start having sex I think it can depend on the age you are sometimes. If you are young and/or inexperienced you can mistake lust for love and that might blind you to some realities. If you wnat a committed, adult relationship then maybe you should wait until you both feel complete trust in each other and share similar goals and values etc., It's all very individual since some people have sex almost...

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How do I get over that my boyfriend notices attractive women, while I choose to personally keep my eyes for him only? I never notice other men, why isn't he the same? There's nothing to 'get over' really. Men are visually stimulated initially, whereas women seek different qualities in a potential mate/father for their kids etc., By looking at other women he isn't putting you down, just following natural instincts, doesn't even mean he particularly fancies them. If he loves you he chose you both for the way you look and the way you...

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Im thinking of putting glass/sharp nails on my grass verge outside my house,as my neighbours keep driving along the pavement/ive got young children/what if some child gets cut,though?and is it legal,ive told my neighbours,abt this they do it more? It might be better - and less dangerous/confrontational to make a formal complaint to your local council offices (town hall?). They may decide to take action, especially if you can any other concerned parties to join you in your complaint. It's best not to antagonize your neighbours since you have to live alongside them.

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What would you do if your girl freind broke up with you would you stay freinds or forget about her. Unless you share serious mutual interests that can help sustain a friendship then why bother? You need real friends, those you can trust. Since she cheated on you how can you trust her? If you feel you want to be near her that's because you haven't really got over her yet. Maybe stay away for a long time then when you see her again you might wonder what it was all about. Get on with...

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If your boyfriend can't say if he wants to stay together or break up how long should you wait to let him make up his mind? Depends how long you've been together, how old you both are, whether there is anything of real value in this relationship and how long he's already been shilly-shallying. Give yourself a deadline if you want to give him time, say a week, a month, maybe? - but don't tell him what it is. Then take long cool look at what's going on here. Maybe you won't want him after all....

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OK guys how do you want to be turned down? I'm sick of guys getting all pissy when I don't want to give them my number. Why not be nice when you turn them down, after all they are paying you a compliment. You could try saying that you'd prefer to have their number and you'll maybe give them a call. That way, you'll be in charge and they won't feel rejected.

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I asked a young appearence old lady how old she was but she blew her top after hearing that very innocent question. Now that should ı change the words place and ask her my age? A lot of ladies 'of a certain age' don't like to be asked how old they really are. It would be better if you privately acknowledged that she was probably older than she looked, but don't verbalize this. And, if you wanted to be really nice, pay her compliments such as, 'You have great skin', or, 'You're one of those people who will always look attractive,...

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Have you ever watched a guy singing a song and thought ... ♥Wow, i would really love to go to bed with that guy♥? Yes! I actually felt in love with this guy, his voice was so wonderful and he sang so meaningfully and seemed to look straight at me and only me. But it wasn't meant to be, even tho' we got to be friendly it never came to much and he got himself a new girlfreind when his old relationship ended - just as I thought I was in with a chance too! I guess it's all projection?

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My best friend and I confessed we had feelings for each other after we broke up with our s/o's.His ex would ask me if I was dating him,etc. We've been having a "fling" for a month, then this morning said he can't talk to me anymore. Can we be friends? You were both feeling vulnerable and crossed the boundaries you'd previously kept to. His ex might have picked up on the feelings you two had for each other, that sexual attraction thing and this could have made him feel a bit uncomfortable with you? It sounds as if he'd prefer to keep you as just a friend, you might be better off just distancing yourself for a while then when you...

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How can you tell if your breath smells would guys stop acually talking to someone cause of that what could you do to fix that problem Lick your hand and smell it, if it smells your breath is bad. Some people will be put off by bad breath. If you think it is bad get a dental check-up and always floss as well as brush your teeth. It might be a sinus problem, so get your doctor's advice if you think you still have a problem after sorting out your dental hygiene. If it's to do with the food you eat maybe avoid garlic...

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I think my wife is messing around there was 9 deleted text messages from her phone. is there a way to get her texts sent to my phone when she sends them out or when they come in. or is there something i can hook up to her phone so i will know whats going. You need to clear the air as suspicion is corrosive and the energy between you won't flow properly as long as you're thinking like this. She might be cheating, I've seen this sort of thing before and it ended in divorce. But if she is, then you will soon find out anyway. If not, maybe she thought the messages too trivial to keep? Does she keep all her messages for a long time?...

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I english student and I woud like to know when I have to use the word FINISH and when I have to use END UP Hi, first of all, 'I AM an English student' is correct. Like, I am a woman. Or, I am hungry. So, you use the word 'finish' whenever you wish to say that you have come to the end of something. I recently FINISHed eating my dinner, then I tried to FINISH what I was working on before, but I was tired, so I ENDed UP coming onto Answerbag for fun and interest before going to bed....

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Does anyone know the symbolism behind wasps all over your house? Something is 'stinging' you. Are you deeply in debt to someone charging extorniate rates? Do you feel aggravated and hurt by small but frequent 'barbed' comments? I believe in this kind of manifestation of our thoughts. Look at what's happening in your life, look at your thoughts and take steps to remedy the problem.

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How do you think face to face communication differs from communication using computers? What we say and what we feel are often two different things. If I listen to your voice I might detect some underlying emotion - or not. If I read your words I may imbue them with a meaning that doesn't exist. But if I look at you, into your eyes, see your gestures and hear you - in person, there is less of my projection and more of your reality than anything online could ever be. But,...

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Can you give the first name of the last person who hurt you? Angeli

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Can my husband of 23 years really forgive my cheating. He has not sorted his ED for 1.5 years.I wanted sex.I broke it off but my husband found out 7 weeks later. ED? Not sure what that is. But, if you mean you never had sex for 1.5 years then that's hard for you. Your husband may forgive you if he accepts he has some responsibility for the physical distance between you. You need to sit down and talk without blaming each other, maybe this would be easier and more useful if you do it with a marriage guidance counsellor? Ask your husband if he will...

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Sooo, my question was rejected and flagged as "nonsense"! Just because some ignorant person didn't know it was a quote made my Malcolm X....what should I do? RE-phrase your question making it obvious that what you are saying is actually a quotation and who it's by. That way you may get some sensible answers - what was your question by the way?

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How did Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar show courage? He was a champion of the Civil War, an American politician and jurist.

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Friend said was raped at 13, it's such an awful thing you believe the person telling you, of course! But she's tells so many people, different stories about who did it+how, I'm in doubt it happened. I don't know what to think of her anymore.What to do? There's something wrong somewhere if she needs to make such a story up. Maybe its true, maybe it isn't. But she needs some sort of help other than just friends. Suggest she visits a rape crisis centre and tell her that you just don't have the right experience to be able to help her but that you will be there for her and support her if she needs you. Don't react too much when...

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Some of you seem to be here for hours every day year in year out. Are you happy about that or do you feel kinda nerdy? I used to spend too much time here with my 'cyber-mates' and did feel, yeah, kinda nerdy. A bit sad and wished I'd got a 'proper' ife with 'proper' mates. But it helped enormously when I most needed it and eventually my life changed for the better again and now I have less time for my pc activities. (Thanks to all of you who helped me last year, tho'! You...

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How do you invite people to a dinner celebration where they will have to cover the price of their own meal? If its at a restaurant then you could indicate the price range of the menu and say that you will be providing everyone with a welcome drink and maybe another one later for a toast. Most people are aware that it would be too expensive for you to pay for everyone's meal. If it's at home then you could ask that people bring a dish to share with x amount of people and maybe a bottle too.

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Is wishing you could disappear sometimes normal? Like fade into the background and not have to deal with things? Sometimes is ok. But if you begin to feel like this a lot maybe you need to talk to someone, a counsellor perhaps who can help you. Sounds as if your confidence is a bit low at the minute, maybe you need to build your self-esteem. Remind yourself of all the things you've already dealt with, we don't have to be perfect just good enough. Good luck.

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If you have a boyfriend and are reasonably happy about it but you like someone else is it better to stay in the relationship and avoid hurting yourself and your boyfriend or take a risk and break up? 'Reasonably happy' - hmm.... what does that mean? That on a rational level all's well but on an emotional level something's lacking? Ask yourself what is lacking? If it's just excitement, or the risk then think again. If it's that the other guy is more compatible, you have deeper feelings and miss him when he's not around then you may be risking losing your...

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I cant tell if i like this girl, i know i do but its on and off... and im confused if i like her or whats going on... Sounds as if you're experiencing a conflict between your emotions and your rational side. Your feelings are telling you that you like her a lot but your brain is arguing against this for some reason. IS there a reason, not to trust her for example? Or, maybe you've been hurt before and don't dare to risk being hurt again. Just try to relax and don't have any expectations,...

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Is illusion the first of all pleasures? Illusion is all we know since the nature of reality eludes us all. We imagine we have pain, we imagine we have pleasure, we believe in the illusion that we exist so whether illusion is the first or one of many equal pleasures why worry if we're happy?

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Do you have any good poetic phrases? I would love to hear them. Here goes, hope you enjoy it:) My Mother’s Voice I searched for my mother’s voice In the soft winds that chased butterflies In the tangled riverbed I listened for her in the soft keening Of the full moon that hung her pregnant form Low in the dark heavens I tried to hear her beneath the whisper Of the waves that crept quietly To the shore as if afraid of intruding ...

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Can someone right me an informing interesting poem about teen pregnancy, just about 25 lines or so? I want to understand it better, and I think this is a good way to. She's getting fatter. lazy git! She's moody and greedy too There's not a thing that I can say To make her go to school She's cries and spends her time in bed Talking on the phone When I ask her come on down She'd rather be alone She doesn't smile She doesn't speak All she does is eat Why does she treat us all this way I'm her mother for...

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What is catharsis? I'm not sure why you ask this in the poetry section? It's a psychotherapeutic reaction during the sessions by a client who is revisiting a traumatic event with the help of the therapist. It is a moment of release that helps someone to move forward and leave the repressed pain behind. People speak of a 'cathartic moment' in other contexts sometimes, maybe they refer to a poem...

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Who wrote "Ode to Joy"? Beethoven wrote the symphony.

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Do you have any good poetic phrases? I would love to hear them. Needles of grief will force threads of gold through my soul.

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What is your favorite poem or quote by Rumi, the Sufi mystic? 'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' What more can we say?

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Is poetry the purest form of language (when it is good)? I think so. Poetry is the distillation of experience, feeling and thought and it is the next highest form of communication to music in my opinion. If the poet can recreate in the mind of the reader/listener the original experience s/he felt then that is poetry and that is the art of poetry. Of course, like all things there is both 'good' and 'bad' poetry. A good poem can...

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How do you get over someone you love who wants nothing to do with you? Give him the space to miss you. If he likes you he'll come looking for you. You need to develop your own interests, be with your friends and try to take an interest in something new. One day you'll realize it doesn't hurt anymore, but you cna't rush this. Take it easy, someone who really loves you will just happen along one day when you least expect it!

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What is your definition of a "crush"? A crush is something that usually happens to very young people who are testing their emotions, they may even have a 'crush' on someone of the same sex, a teacher or another with some special perceived qualities. It's not actually a sexual thing. In older people it can be a case of projection, you have a thing about someone you don't really know very well, so your imagination...

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What do you say to Children when they ask "Where do babies come from" Just say, From mummies tummies'. In my experience they only tend to ask one question at a time. It will take a little time before they begin to wonder how the babies got in there, then you just answer the next stage simply too, 'The daddy puts them there' and so on... Why lie? If you're open with your kids they will know they can trust you and will bring all their questions...

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My girlfriend has slept around quite a bit and has done the one night stand thing. I don't know if I can trust her now because I know this is what she used to be like. I am a good looking guy and could've done it, but i've always felt awkward. Views? She's less inhibited than you and this doesn't mean she will be unfaithful, just that she was happy to experiment/have fun without strings. Now she's in a special relationship she will probably be faithful to you if you show her trust and love. There's a huge difference between sleeping around and being with someone special. In some ways she may even be less inclined to...

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When someone you love and have been with for a long time meets someone else and leaves you, is there even a small chance they could still have feelings for you or does their love completely die?? : ( True love never dies. He may have fallen in love with someone else but if he truly loved you then those feelings will remain even if he tries to repress them. The point is that your relationship wasn't strong enough to keep you together. He may feel nostaligia/regret now but he's still with her. He clearly feels committed to her in a different way as he prefers to stay with her even...

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My boyfriend of nearly two years (agreed non-exclusive, ie we can date other people) has moved in with another girl. He says it is just convenient for a place to live. However, she doesn't know about me and ismaking it difficult to see him! What to do? It sounds as if he agred this with you - but agreed something else with her! I think you ought to end this relationship since he's not being entirely honest with either of you. If you've been together for two years and he's still not committed to you then I guess that's because you and he are not quite right for each other. Let him go and find someone who wants to be...

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Do you know the names of the planes/fighters that can stand still in the air, like hoover above the ground, do you have any idea how much does its engine cost? They're called 'jump-jets' but no idea how much the engines cost. Millions probably?

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What was the Tower of London used for? It was used for keeping political prisoners in during earlier times, and they were often tortured most barbarically. It is possible to see the dungeons and the implements of torture if you visit. Several royals were kept there in bygone centuries before their execution.

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What is something you can tell me about the United Kingdom? It's a great place with a wonderful and colourful history of monarchy. It has been great in terms of pioneering, sea-faring and military skills in war - not that I approve of the latter, but it has sometimes been necessary. It's an island divided into four countries, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, though they're all governed by Parliament with the exception of...

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What is something you can tell me about the United Kingdom? It's an island divided into four separate countries, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. It has an impressive history of monarchy and it's government is democratic and hierarchical with the Queen having a position of impartiality in political issues. She is the Head of the Church of England. The United Kingdom has much to offer in the way of historical and architectural...

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What do you suppose caused early man to leap from living instinctually to acquiring some conscious processes? Hi Parsec! Long time no talk. I wonder if our ancestors came from outer space and fertilized the females of Earth in order to ensure the survival of their (superior) species. It may even have been experimental? There is, I think, a 'missing link' in our knowledge of the evolution of mankind when the more primitive jawbone suddenly changed into something more similar to what we now...

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Is hate mail illegal, given that there is no threats or perceived danger? Just a simple inflammatory "I hate you" and maybe "go to hell" coupled by a few f-words here and there. Will I be arrested if I send such a letter to a business or the government? You sound very angry and you must have good reasons but when you resort to basic expressions you lose your power. Why not write a good letter explaining what has happened and how it has made you feel and find the name of a particular person who can take accountability? That way you're more likely to get a response, an explanation or even an apology. Language is a powerful tool when used...

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I recently made a decision to go to a gym because I constantly stay home all day every day and my boyfriend told me he is "afraid of my freedom". I got upset and he said he doesn't understand why it made me mad. Am I exaggerating? It should make you very mad indeed. He is showing insecurity and trying to make himself feel stronger by controlling you. He needs to be looking at himself and maybe even getting some therapy for his problems. THEY WILL NOT GO AWAY. They will get worse unless he deals with them. Relationships can be totally destroyed by such issues. It might be good for you to develop several interests of your...

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Why is AB so slow? The other websites i go to is fast,but not AB.Is there something wrong with AB? Maybe they're trying to 'weed' people out? (Ha-ha!) I've noticed this too and it really irritates me, I thought it was my pc at first. It spoils the interaction tho' as it takes so long to get anywhere now. Come on you AB guys - get it sorted!

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Do you wear perfume? if so, what kind and why do you like it? I love Paloma Picasso! My favourite of all time. But I also like Shalimar (old-fashioned but eternally sexy!), and Chanel No. 5 - aahhh... Marilyn's fave. What do you like?

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She says shes interested in me but she wants to take things slowly. We've been seeing e.o for over a week now. I was drunk at a party n told her I liked her. She likes being with me but told me she just got out of a relationship a few months ago. HELP? You're not really over the upset caused by your previous relationship. This girl likes you but she wasn't the one who was drunk nor was she the one who recently got out of another relationship. So? So, she's not feeling as desperate, or insecure, or needy as you. Just relax, remember who you were before you got dented by 'the other one' and enjoy being around this one....

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What is the signs of Emotional Abuse? Thanks for asking this. Reading the answers made me realize how abused I have allowed myself to become. It takes two, I see that now. One to abuser and one to let themselves be abused. I hope to find the courage to release myself from this misery.

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Recently broke up with a guy, who was commanding in bedroom, when I did not comply, he would ask what my problem was. He was nice in other ways sending flowers to me for no reason, never hit me, he scared me, what kind of personality do u think he had? Sounds as if he was just insecure and immature. He feared rejection and thought your lack of interest in sex meant there was something wrong with him personally. Also, he felt 'horny' and couldn't imagine why someone else didn't, so he was self-centred, selfish, as I said possibly just immature. The fact that he sent you flowers shows he longed for your approval....

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If you were a diamond, what coulor would you be and what grade? Blue for sure, because I like that colour better than simply the no-colour totally reflective 'ordinary' diamond - not because it's more rare or expensive, tho' I know it is. Grade? Up to the viewer to decide that one.

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Is it better to know your faults and accept them (but not really try to fix them) or deny them? If we can accept ourselves - with all our flaws, then we can accept each other. Who is perfect? And who is making the blueprint for perfection? Faults? By whose standards? I know my faults but those same qualities/non-qualities endear me to some, repel others... what am I supposed to do? Be someone perfect for you? Or you? Or you?... etc., If I know I don't like something about myself...

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Why do people choose to hang themselves above other means of suicide? It sounds like a horrible way to go.... Perhaps they are in effect 'executing' themselves since hanging is historically, a common form of capital punishment and part of a sort of 'cultural psyche'? Maybe it depends on the mind-set of the victim, whether they feel persecuted by life or whether they feel a need to escape their problems? If the latter, taking drugs and falling asleep might seem like a good escape....

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Is it wrong to not try to talk someone out of committing suicide? After all, it is their life. Yes, it is their life but they are probably not fully in control of it if they feel suicidal. Suicide is often attempted when the balance of the mind is disturbed. If the suicidal person is restored to normalitythey are often grateful that they didn't succeed in their self-harming actions. Since we are all connected we are all therefore responsible for others to a certain degree. It is my...

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How do you age? Are you becoming more tolerant, more accepting, more indifferent; more mellow, ect. Pick any adjective - how do you see yourself? I'd like to say I'm becoming wiser, calmer, more happy and accepting of myself and others and in a way all that's true. But, also in a very real way I find myself becoming more disillusioned and irritable, even judgmental (!) I scare myself scometimes and have to work on staying positive and kind, loving and understaning... It's harder than wehn I was young, I never thought...

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Do you think some women try to hard? Yes and it might be because some men don't try hard enough.

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What effect might the success of the women's movement have on the men? Why is a nonsexist way of life so difficult for some men and women to accept? Men can feel displaced and unsure of their role when changes in expectations/norms occur - such as the women's movement. They can feel threatened and 'redundant' if the values they grew up with are no longer seen as valuable/admirable etc., Men of a certain generation may find it harder to adjust to the idea of 'equality' and also not understand that a non-sexist...

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Is there a British version of Answerbag? Did you mean to ask if there's a similar sort of question/answer site that originated in the UK? I'm not sure if there is but I find this one great fun and also very supportive when one is in need.

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Have you had a friend or family member be disruptive at a restaurant; did you apologize their actions to the server? Yes, my youngest son's wife behaved very badly once in a restaurant - it was very embarrassing as she was swearing and shouting and attracting attention. We were all shocked and upset. They left in a hurry and we apologized quietly to the head waiter who was the soul of discretion and very reassuring. However, we felt bad and when we next went there we were not welcomed as warmly as we had...

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Do you think it is possible to be in love with your best friend and get over it while still being friends? (by the way he knows im into him) It's very difficult because your heart is occupied right now and you're not giving yourself time to get over him and fall for someone else. Perhaps you should end the relationship for a while, say six months to a year - tough, I know! After that you might feel differently - so might he. But, also, maybe you will find someone else who loves you too and then you could all be friends......

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Which country or place would you NEVER ever travel to, no matter what? Why? I don't want to go to Somalia (Africa) as I feel the atrocities committed there are too gross and the country is too chaotic for me. I also woudn't go to a country such as Iraq or Iran or anywhere where women are treated as mere chattels.

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If your with someone and your ex wants to have three some with you wat does that mean? He/she wants to muscle in on your current cosy twosome and show you what he/she thinks is missing from your life! This would just be stretching your present relationship a bit far, maybe to breaking point? Does your ex want to get close because of love or just their ego trip, or control thing? Be careful. And if you have good sex with current partner don't be tempted to spoil things.

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Is it sad 4 me 2 say that i dont want 2 fall in love again?Just in my experience ur stuffed either way,either they leave you or they die on you.I just dont see why it's worth going through all that pain when they prob didn't care as much as you did anyway You've obviously suffered a deep loss and this has left you feeling bereaved and abandoned, also possibly lowered your self-esteem. Maybe you could get some bereavement counselling? If not, then try to realize that all things in life are transient and we can choose what to take away with us from any experience. Ask yourself what you gained from your past relationships, what lessons may...

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My b/f & I have been dating 4 a 1yr; he accuses me of always staring at other guys. I know I don't get distracted by other men and I have no desire to meet anyone else. I absolutely cherish him. What words or actions can I do to convince him im loyal. He needs to get some counselling because the reason for his insecurity is not you but something in his past, whether he's aware of it or not. This sort of possessiveness can be very problematic and lead to arguments and upsets for you both in the future. It doesn't usually get better it gets worse and you will end up feeling bad about yourself too. If he refuses to deal with HIS...

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Ask me to guess your hair color. Guess mine, please?

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What is your opinion on google and yahoo? I couldn't live without Google! Love it, simply the best search engine ever.

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Can you write a good novel? I've written several but trying to get them published is very daunting. It's the hardest thing, even harder than the actual writing. And these days publishers only seem interested in guaranteed 'best sellers', popular genre stuff, so I guess my books will remain in the bottom drawer of my desk till I die, unread and unappreciated by anyone else. That's life for a lot of...

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Have you ever felt tired from over-sleeping? I felt that way today, after 13 hours of sleep. And does this feeling have a reasonable explanation? Well, yes it does. If it happens a lot its probably depression. You can change this, if you really want to.

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I had my tragus pierced 1 week ago today, it is very swollen, alittle red, very sore , still oozing,and feels warm like it did when i got it done. do i have an infection or is this all normal? I do normally sleep on this side also? Bathe it with TCP or pure alcohol from teh pharmacist. It will take a little time since its cartialge and nt just skin. Get well soon.

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Do you have a tilted pelvis? If so, do you have chronic leg pain?(aching) I have a 'tilted uterus', so a doctor told me. Apparently it can cause nerve pain on your spine, leg pain (sciatica). The way to cure it is to learn how to keep a 'lordosis' in the spine - this means sitting, walking, standing etc., with a curve in the base of the spine. Check out Pilates exercises or similar, it really helps. I have suffered no discomfort whatsoever since...

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Do you ever worry that if you let people know you or about your issues, concerns or problems that they will fear you or not want to deal with you? I used to feel like that. Then I realized we're all f***** and I thought, ;life is too short not to be yourself. I now find that people like me more because they feel enabled too. Please, be yourself and stop worrying - it's so liberating.

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If you were going to therapy, would you prefer a therapist of the same sex as you or does it matter? Do you think it would be easier to talk to a same sex therapist about certain issues that you couldn't with the other sex? It may depend upon where the individual is in relation to the issues they need to address. Many years ago, before my own training as a psychotherapist, I went to a male therapis as I didn't trust females. As I progressed on my journey I became more aware of my deeper issues and eventually chose to work with a female. Now, I would say that if a client is particularly uncomfortable with one...

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Do you or does anyone you know have had psychotherapy? What do they do? How often do you have treatment? I have had the benefit of psychotherapy and I am a qualified and experienced psychotherapist of many years standing. Usually, therapy sessions go on for about an hour, once a week, over a period of time from say six to eight sessions, several months, even a year or two for some people depending upon their issues and needs. Basically, psychotherapy is an alliance between therapist and client and...

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Has anyone had strong emotions where they just come over you for no particular reason like a light switching on and it becomes terrifying and you feel faint and close to passing out? Is this a panic attack? It sounds like a panic attack and yes, I used to suffer from them many years ago. I found that when I changed my lifestyle to one where I was being more true to myself they ceased to happen. Sometimes, panic attacks are a result of deep-seated feelings of hostility that we have repressed as we're too scared to confront them. We need to be ourselves and this is where therapy can be of great...

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I think i have avoidant personality disorder. i'm not sure though, how can i tell if i do or not? If your symptoms prevent you from having a full life and feeling fulfilled then you need to seek professional help. Maybe have a word with your doctor first? Social anxiety can cause you to become isolated and depressed. It is possible that a cognitive/behavioural therapist can help you to overcome your problems.

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Do u think that mental health professionals should be able to help themselves when things get too much for them or is it ok for them to need help also. What would you think if a therapist told you "I am depressed and I am seeing someone about it"? My only concern would be whether my therapist was in regular supervision and whether they - in consultation with their supervisor - had determined fitness to work. If a therapist has personal problems but is aware of them and dealing with them and seeking appropriate help then that is fine, they are only human after all. It's when they decide they're above and beyond help that they...

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Im a teen and ive been cleaning my face for years face products are getting to expensive its embbarasing going to a mall like eastgat or the palms when you have got black heads and pimples all over your face Your greasy skin swill calm down when you're a bit older. Too much stimulation by strong remedies will icrease the greasiness. Gently wash your face with soap and water. Pat it dry, then dab it with cotton wool soaked in pure rose water (which you should be able to buy form a pharmacist cheaply). Avoid fried food, eat fruit and vegetabels every day and drink at least a litre of water. ...

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This guy told me that he believes we have a strong connection. I don't really feel a connection at all with him. Is that normal? He might wish for a connection with you and he feels strongly about you so he thinks/believes there is already a strong connection. If you don't feel the same that's all there is to it. It's perfectly normal for people to ahve different feelings towards each other. Maybe you should give this guy some space so that he can find someone who feels the same towards him.

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Slap a bitch or turn the other cheek? You shouldn't slap anyone in retaliation. Rise above it and walk away, you'll feel a better person for it.

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Have you ever been approached by a bum/homeless person on the street and asked for money? How did you respond? I usually give them some money, after all, why would they be in such an awful situation if they were capable of more?

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Im 25, some college, and cant seem to get ahead in life. I need advice on the proper steps on maintaining a positive attitude and progressing my life. Ive let spiraling depression and job loss rule me for almost 2 months. Advice Please! It's very hard for you and the loss of your job might have felt as if you'd lost your identity too, up to some extent. And, you might have financial, social difficulties as a reult of job loss. Is there any way you can enroll in a training course so that you have more/different qualifications? Think of what you'd like to do in an ideal world. Then begin to take steps to achieve...

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I'm making out my will. In the event my husband, son and I die together, I need to leave my money to charity. What charity would you donate to? This is a very substantial amount. Charity is a personal thing and usually chosen because its dear to your heart for some reason. If you have no personal preferences then maybe you would consider giving your money to a hospice that offers care for the terminally ill, either in the hospice or through home-care nursing. My sister and my mother both benefitted from the wonderful care offered by hospices. And they helped the whole...

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Is there any feeling which is not expressed by humans? How can there be?

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I've been separated from my STBX Husband for almost 6 mos now. I'm thinking about "being" with some1 else. But, I know there is a possiblity I may get back with my STBX . He abused me six mos ago and was put out. I meet this guy am I wrong? It sounds as if maybe you are 'testing the water' with another possible mate. And why not? Was your husband abusive for many years or just that one time? If you've been unhappy for long then you deserve to find happiness with someone new. Sometimes marriages fail but it's not the end of the world... What does STBX mean?

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Are you allowed to use answerbag as free advertising by bringing up the name of your web store again and again and again? No. All you need to do is to flag the question as spam and it will get sorted by the AB team.

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What would you think, if you went to the Doc. to have a gastroscopy and after it he turned to you and looked at you like you were strange, and said. Your stomach is turned to the left, nothing wrong with it, just a bit unusual.? I'd think, ok there's nothing wrong with me but I'm a built a little differently, so what? I'm sure we all vary in our anatomy to some degree. The main thing is, that there's nothing to worry about.

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Our kitchen has cherry floors & our cabinets are maybe walnut (blond tones). Without refinishing, I'd like to blend it more. Would painting a brick accent above the cabinets blend or divide (looking like stripes or a box)? Any advice apprecitated? If you have doubts then why not draw out a mock-up on paper and use different coloured paints to get an impression of how the real thing would appear? Other than that, have you thought about maybe putting in new work-tops? They could be black and this would give a strong and sophisticated look. It all depends on personal taste tho', of course...

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What was the reason that you were last in court? To give evidence in a case to determine where a child should be domiciled.

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What is the best line any movie character has ever said. 'Out of all the gin-joints, in all the towns, in all the world - why did she have to choose this one?' Humphrey Bogart in 'Casablanca'. (I think I'm roughly right in the quotation, but excuse me if it's a little awry)

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Let's say I start a really awful rumor about someone, so bad that it gets him killed. If the rumor is traced back to me can I be charged with anything? Since you weren't the person to actually take up a weapon against someone and (theoretically) didn't know that your malice would result in murder, then technically you'd be innocent. But you would be morally guilty and would have that death on your conscience for ever. I sincerely hope that this is a purely rhetorical question? Remember Shaksespeare? 'O, what a web we...

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Is midnight the beginning or end of the day? For me it depends whether I'm in The UK or Spain and in the UK midnight is already past the end but in Spain the night is young. It's a bit like 'is your glass half-empty or half-full?' Personally - it's the beginning as I hate endings so much and don't believe in them anyway, because when one door closes another door opens...

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Ok well . . . This guy called me pretty and he always looks at me. When i look at him he automatically looks somewhere else. He also winked at me 2 times. He's probably flirting. With you and all the others too.

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What type of political system is headed by Queen Elizabeth II of England? None. Divine right of Kings is all she believes in - why wouldn't she?

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I hate my mom, like really really hate her! do you hate yours? I think you love her so much you can't bear that she doesn't make you feel as loved. I think if she knew how much power she has over you and how much you long for her approval she'd break down and cry. I believe that unless she actually abuses you and/or had serious psychological problems she is just being your mother and you won't appreciate her until/unless you grow up.

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If I a girl dresses all sleezy and flirts and gets raped, does that make it her fault because she turned the guy on? No. He wasn't 'turned on', just saw someone acting in a play he was starring in. It's never the fault of the victim but we all have a responsibility to look after ourselves - that said, a good guy would see you safely to your door to make sure you stayed out of trouble...

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Does shredding a contract voids it? You sound angry, frustrated and trapped. Get a good lawyer to shred it for you or it could cost you a lot of money.

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I started driving a 3 speed manual, later 4 then a 5 then got an automatic. Now to keep the new cost of a 4x4 down. I may have to consider a 6 speed manual. If you like manual transmissions, what is your preferences? For me, five speed is the cut-off absolute max! I forget where I am if there are six of the buggers! I used to prefer manual to auto but maybe I'm getting old as I've started thinking a nice auto that does it all for me while I sit back in y nice leather driver-oriented seat must be the ultimate luxury!

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Is there such a thing as wisdom, or is what seems such merely the ultimate refinement of folly? Yes, wisdom exists. It is probably progressive but not necessarily conclusive. One (folly and wisdom)doesn't necessarily lead to the other, but it might be desirable if it did. Sadly, some are born fools, some become fools and some die fools.

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What do you think Issac Newton would think of quantum mechanics? He would be sooooo excited!!!!

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I like this guy,he is on ab,and i seem to never forget him.when i had a "normal" crush it wasn't like that.i always remember him like 24/7.it is not lust!i really really love him! is it "true" love?what is it?btw i know him (kinda). No, it's 'projection'. This happens most of all when we don't know the actual person. It can happen when you know the person slightly and it becomes an obsessive/compulsive disorder. It's because we feel understood, for the first time maybe, in our lives. We 'fall in love' with the person who gave us this total acceptance etc., The sad news is that we're...

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How do I make the perfect fruit smoothie? (Thats healthy) Now you need a tall jug! Unless it comes with attachments. Next, you take a small handful of blueberries, a few ripe strawberries, some grapes or raspberries and a cup of plain, natural yoghurt. Then blend till smooth. If you like extra sweet. put in a couple of spoons of honey too, hmmm... delicious! Use any combination of soft fruits. Very healthy.

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If they made a drug that gave you orgasms, would that be the most widely used drug? Well, not for me. But I can imagine that some people who get hooked on chocolate etc., might go for it big-style! And it would probably amke a lot of people happy - but so do vibrators. I'm looking for true love and a true lover, if I get orgasms too, then hey! How good does it get?

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I have seen love n relationship in others, I think I have been left on the shelf? I think I know how you feel... Everyone tells you that of course not! Your prince/princess will come. But, when you're feeling like that, it's like you're looking in the shop window, the goodies are all there, but you can't afford to buy. Have you been alone for a long time? Are you feeling too old for love? I believe that if you have an open heart love will cme to you. It...

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What are some english proverbs? And their meanings thanks? There's more than one way of skinning a cat! My mother was fond of that one, it meant that there were more ways of getting what you wanted than just the obvious. She had a lot more proverbs at her disposal and in fact, spoke in proverbs rather than any original thoughts of her own. Now she's gone I think of her as if she were a prophetess!

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So I have to do this thing called a 'warm fuzzy' which is basically the same thing as a 'secret santa'. I drew the name of my former boyfriend. We are still very good friends, so I don't know what to do so he won't know it's me. Any suggestions? Why do you have to? And why is he 'former'? And why can't he know it's you?

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I have one child he is 6years old and he is being very possessive over me lately, what do i do? It's just a phase, and necessary part of his development. Don't push him away or show anxiety, it's natural for him to go through this feeling that he is reassured by your calm, kind consistency. It is normal and once he grows away from you you will be wishing for those close, loving days to come back again! Childhood really is very short. Just be loving and kind.

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Today my daughter told me that she knows that she is dumb because she dropped something that i asked her to hold. i explained to her that she is not dumb but i am scared that she is just saying this for attention because she does it often, Well, if she is it's because she needs attention. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Try offering attention by taking an interest in what she likes, play with her, ask her to help you with an 'important task' in the kitchen etc., Show her that you think she's the most interesting and unique person on the planet and soon she won't need to resort to little tricks to...

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How do you boost your child's confidence? Whether it's for school, a play, homework, so on. You need to be careful to avoid criticism of any sort, even a look of contempt etc., can be damaging to a young and sensitive person. Praise any efforts s/he makes and encourage creative thinking by getting the child to write stories, plays and acting at home. You could join in and play a part that the child has written for you. Even quite young children enjoy this sort of play and it allows...

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We were suppose to be taking a few weeks to think. His ex wife called me and my sister let her have it. She told her somethings that were going on between us. Now my BF is really upset and wont talk to me. What should I do? Do you think this is my fault? I think I already answered another of your q's on this subject, put a bit differently? It is NOT your fault if someone wants to behave badly. Your boyfriend sounds as if he's got problems and unresolved issues around his ex-wife. They seem to be caught up in something together and why should you get in the middle of it then start blaming yourself? The only responsibility you have...

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Would you rather punish for bad behavior or reward for good behavior? It's better to reward good behaviour, I think, because we all like to feel good and it makes us try harder if we get approval or other rewards for a certain behaviour. Whereas, punishment can make us feel embittered, angry and hard, so in the end we feel resentful and stop trying to please.

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My BF lied to his ex wife about us the whole time. Why is he pissed off because his ex wife called me? I didnt talk to her my sister did. Why is he mad at me and wont talk to me? What should I do? I don't want to act crazy just never have had this happen. This sounds very complicated. His ex-wife talked to your sister now he won't talk to you? Ok. Sounds as if his ex-wife still wants him and maybe he has feelings for her too. For some reason he isn't ready to admit to a new relationship and cares about her opinion/feelings. It might be that he met you too soon after the break-up. Maybe you should forget him since he's neither...

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I have a friend I really like but she never returns my hospitality (tho' she can afford to) and often lets me pay for lunch if we're out, doesn't bring wine to dinner etc., and generally seems to take advantage of my generous nature. What can I do? Oops! Meant to make a comment but put it in the 'answer' box by mistake... sorry.

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Anyone in here that has been raped beaten or abused as a child will you please tell me your stories and how you got through everything that happened to you. i was beaten by my father my whole life raped at the age of 14 and my x beat the shit out of me You need to get some good therapy to help you to heal yourself. You have been victimized and the fact that you were beaten by your ex suggests that you see yourself as a victim. This can change if you are brave and determined to overcome the terrible things that have happened to you. Other people's stories may help you to realize that the past can be transcended but only your own personal...

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What is the weakest form of communication Lying. For then the opportunity to communicate your truth has disappeared and you are not being true to yourself. So you might as well have saved your breath, you can't get much weaker than that - even silence can seem loud when used appropriately.

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What is your idea of a "Romantic Night Out"? I'd like to be taken to the Opera, treated to champagne then a late-night light supper and a stroll through moon-lit gardens near the sea somewhere warm and balmy... Oh well, we can all dream!

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Would you allow your fiance/husband take nude pictures of you pregnant? Why ever not? It's a special and precious time in your life, how lovely to have the memories to look back on one day. Just make sure they're black and white and low-lit so they look really artistic and professional. If he's not a very good photographer maybe employ a professional?

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What are common fights between couples that lead to splits? For me, it's not so much about fights - at least then you still have some passion. It's about lack of communication, that's the worst killer of a relationship in my opinion. That and indifference to a partner's feelings. Lack of respect is another big one. They say 'familiarity breeds contempt' but it should breed closeness, trust and kindness always.

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I found out that my bf had written a letter to his ex about 1 month after we started dating (we are together 1year) he said that he was crying and that he missed her so much and he wrote with titles and subtitles all the things that she meant to him... If he wrote it only a month after they broke up it was like 'grief work', getting all the hurt and love thing out of his system. If he's been with you for a year tehn he obviously feels something for you. Don't spoil a good thing by looking back. The past is the past. Just talk things over with him calmly if you can. Say that you felt upset thinking he must still have...

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What is the difference between Deductive argument and logical argument If an argument is deductive then you deduce something has happened based on known parameters, that is; because of A and B we can deduce that X is the likely outcome. (A bit like Sherlock Holmes) Whereas, in a logical argument you predict an outcome based on logical probabilities. Thus, because we can observe that when A precedes B and so on we know that we will probably arrive at Z, since...

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What is death, In order to understand death we must first understand life.

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Can you ever overcome the emotional and pyschological issues assoicated with being molested..or will your life will always be filled with depression, and unhappiness is never going to be? Yes, you can. You need to get a good therapist, someone who is trained, experienced, qualified and registered with a recognized public body. If you can work through your pain and anger, talk about your symptoms - for they are the hardest part of your everyday life and interfere with all your relationships, then you can grow and learn to see the past for what it is - the past. Be brave and seek...

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What is the impact on young males that are sexually molested by adult women? The media makes this scenario seem like some boy's fantasy but I don't buy it. I think it makes the young boy feel guilty and helpless. It's about power and lust not love or even young, mutual sexual attraction. The consequences can be that the man is unable to get emotionally close to a woman and see sex as a transaction or worse, it reminds him of his powerlessness and guilt and he never really enjoys intimacy. Sex can feel overwhelming to a young person male or...

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A friends little girl [9] (mentioned) talked to my child "how her mother and her boyfriend would walk around naked in the morning "getting ready for work", and that sometimes he would have a hard on. Now is it my buisness to flag this up and do something? I only hope the boyfriend is long-term and a proper 'substitute father-figure'. That way, maybe he's just acting in a 'natural' way, for him. If the mother is comfortable with it then maybe that's just their norm? Personally, I don't think that a girl of 9 ought to be exposed to a man who isn't her father in this way - and suspect too, that a natural...

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Dont you just want to gather all the abused and hurt children in this world in your arms and take the pain away? Yes, I do. But also, I think we need to take the hurt Child Within oursleves into our metaphorical arms and take the pain away, make her/him feel safe. It's our duty to treat ourselves as if we were our own favourite child - not spoiling, just loving more than anything in the world. That way, s/he feels good about themself and can begin to heal and to love others.

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Can anyone help me find an essay appropriate way of saying "vindictive little bitch"? Vindictive is fine, as is manipulative, scheming, calculating, vengeful, dangerous etc., - it's the 'little bitch' bit that's the problem here. You could say petty female person, small-minded woman/girl, thoroughly unpleasant and nasty poiece of work... etc., WHO is this person by the way? She must be someone to reckon with in literature, I wonder if I've come across...

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Do you know anyone who uses statements like, " I don't hate no one" , "I'm not having no money",etc,etc?Are these slangs or just an indication that the person is uneducated? Poor grammar (as in the examples of double negatives that you gave) is not necessarily an indication of poor education. The use of slang is part of a certain sort of youth culture and also creeps into everday vernacular through the media etc., Generally, however, the better educated you are the more effectively you will express yourself. The main thing is to understand what we are trying to say...

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What does it mean when a girl begins to tremble after I kiss her? You've been dating for a year and you only just kissed her? No wonder she trembled, she must have been holding her breath for this for ages! It's called anticipation and she trembled because of the release of adrenaline into her bloodstream - this is because she felt excited and aroused. Sounds as if she's really into you. I hope you felt a bit shaky too?

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I am 65 years old and have had a lot of health issues. Do you think I am at risk for having breast reduction? I have dreamed all my life to have this done. Your doctor will advise as to whether your general health is good enough to withstand the actual surgery/anaesthetic etc., Since you have wanted to do this for a long time you might feel better in general once you have it done. A friend of mine in her fifties ahd it done. She felt a bit uncomfortable for a week or two and it was quite painful immediately after teh op but pain-killers sorted...

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How could i Politely let a work colleague know that her noisy eating habits make my stomach knot up in anger...? I'm wondering if her eating habits remind you of someone else in your life? Be honest, is it just her or is something else happening for you here? For your stomach to knot up like that it sounds pretty deep-seated and painful for you. It's my guess that someone in your past has hurt you and had similar habits. If you can locate where the feeling originated you may find you're no...

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Why do forgiveness seems like you are allowing someone to get away with what they've done? It's not about the other person really, it's about letting go of the desire for revenge, the hatred and anger you feel when someone has harmed you. Those are the feelings that destroy us and so it's in our own interests to work on forgiveness. I think it's important too, to acknowledge the bitter feelings first, tell someone you trust, or write a letter saying exactly how...

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Why shouldn't we test drugs and cosmetics on mentally challenged or severely disabled human beings, rather than animals? Thanks. It's a bit frustrating sometimes when you get those unthought-out responses, especially since your category was Ethics - why go there if you don't want a proper discussion? But, you know we're all different and Answerbag is a cross-section of society after all. Just ignore these types and ask away, I always enjoy your questions, at least they show you have a lively mind...

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Can you explain to me what a unicorn is? Its a symbol of innocence and purity and supposedly only visible to a person with those qualities. In some stories they are represented as looking like a small white pony but with a single horn in the centre of their forehead.

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Any passive aggressive people out there that would be willing to have an open discussion with me. I need some answers! I noticed that you didn't get much response from the passive/aggressive types so I thought I'd offer to discuss things with you. I am an assertive person, by the way.

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What should I do with a friend who is constantly complaining and asking for advice, but when I give her advice, she just tells me that she doesn't want to do that, or it is going to cost money. Her negative attitude is affecting me in a really bad way. She is playing the role of Victim and you are playing the role of Rescuer. This makes you feel good but you quickly realize that feeling doesn't last when she rejects all your efforts. The next time she starts just tell her calmly and pleasantly without apology that you cna't offer advice as only she knows what is best for her. If she persists simply say that she needs to find out for...

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Why shouldn't we test drugs and cosmetics on mentally challenged or severely disabled human beings, rather than animals? Hi Tsamaya! I gave you +5 as I noticed you'd been DR'd by some unthinking person. I realize this question is purely rhetorical and intellectual but it takes one to spot one, eh? Ha-ha. I see where you're coming from and I imagine you're trying to ask people what is the difference when such people can't think for themselves or defend themselves, a bit like the poor...

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If you have both daughters and sons, do you believe that you worry more about your daughter than your son?(I mean at an older age - young adult) I am blessed with two fine sons, grown men now with children of their own, but I also have a couple of nieces I'm close to as a result of their mother dying thirteen years ago. I have always thought my sons were capable and sensible tho' they worried me a bit when they were in their late teens/early twenties and being a bit 'wild'. The girls were much calmer, quieter and...

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After paying all the bills for the month, how much do you have left for you to enjoy? Enough. I've always thought that if there's enough you're rich. And I always recall Mr Micawber (Charles Dickens character) who believed that if your income was 20 shillings a year (it was a long time ago!) and you spent 19 shillings an dsixpence then you were fine. But if your income was 20 shillings and you spent 20 shillings and sixpence then you were in trouble. I've...

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An 11-year-old child lies on the operating table, dying from an accident. He asks his doctor if he is going to die. The doctor says "no", knowing the child will be dead in minutes. Did the doctor do anything/nothing wrong? If the child was afraid when he asked the question then the doctor did the right thing by calming and reassuring him. If the child was curious and intellectual it might be a different matter, but even then the context is important here. If we assume the child was afraid and he is in fact a minor then the doctor was exercising a duty of care for the patient by not telling the truth.

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Did you ever own an exotic pet and what was it? I bought my 12 year old grandson a Commodore Dragon Lizard recently. He loves it, it's part of the family now. He calls her Laila.

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If your pet (4 legged land animal) became paralyzed from the waist down what would you do? Depends on the pet's age and lifestyle/personality. We had an amazing tom-cat who never came indoors and was a Siamese type with huge shoulders, tattered ears from all his fights, blue eyes and black balls! (I kid you not!) One night he got himself into a fight or an animal snare - we feared the latter. He lost most of one of his back legs - t was like the remains of a fried chicken leg!...

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Writing a book.. Is there a drug that causes asphyxiation, but cant be found in the body after death? Why are you so intent on suffocation? There are other ways of killing people, but in the books I read the murderer gets found out. Read Agatha Christie or just get a life?

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What are the effects of asphyxiation? When someone has died, how would one tell that they were asphyxiated by pillow, nitrogen, or drug induced. im writing a piece, and need more information. Why not just leave? You don't need to suffocate someone just to live your own life.

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My son is 9 and my daughter is 6 their dad has joint custody, They have told me just recently sometimes when they get off the bus from school, Daddy is not home yet, and they are told to wait on the porch by themselves until he gets there what do I do? Well, maybe he just isn't home yet. And maybe he is tired too and instead of looking to score points from each other all the time, like, 'He did that', or 'She said this' and letting the kids pick up on the tensions and invitations to snitch and bitch we should remember that we loved each other once. Maybe even when we conceived them...? If they're waiting for more...

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Do you really think peace is a state of mind? Yes, I think it is important to achieve inner peace, that way whatever happens in the world around us cannot destroy us. There are different connotations to the word 'peace' but real peace comes from self-acceptance.

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Why don't many guys wear mustaches anymore? Did Saddam ruin it or something? I thought it was Freddie Mercury's fault?

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Are we Human, or are we Dancer? Can you explain this? I really like this song. I don't know if it has a real meaning but for me it says are we human or something more graceful, more beautiful - 'dancers'? And then I think of 'the Dance of Life' and there's a sort of religious connotation - so maybe the song-writer wanted us to understand that he was asking if we're merely human or are we spiritual creatures. What...

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My son has a girl is her classroom who's sister just died of cancer. She is 10. I wanted to do something special for her as she is going through a really rough time. My son is not close to her but is a friend of his, what can I do? I do have a few ideas.. Why not just leave the support to those who are really closest to this girl? They know her and her needs the best. It's kind of you but you could make things harder for her actually, as what we think is comforting can feel intrusive sometimes to a grieving person. She's not particularly close to your son, it could even embarrass both her and him. Please be careful.

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If you like cemeteries, do like to see tombstones or flush to the ground memorials? Since we all individuals in life why can't we be individuals in death? The anonymity of the all-the-same, flush to the ground memorials depresses me. I like to see different expressions of remembrance. I especially like continental graveyards such as the ones in France where they have photographs of the dead people and widely different tomb-stones with angels, statues etc.,

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Is it ok for a man to wear a pair of women's tights (under his trousers and out of public view) for warmth and health reasons, as long johns are too heavy, bulky and cause a rash on the inside of the legs? Why ever not? Just so long as you don't get embarrassed if you're knocked down by a bus and taken to hospital! Ha-ha! My husband used to work on a building site many years ago and always wore women's tights under his jeans to keep warm. Well, that was his excuse anyway. lol

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Which is the correct answer? ... some garlic or a garlic? example: cut an large onion and ....... garlic thanx 'A' large onion (not an) and some garlic - or a clove or bulb of garlic.

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Classical music has many pieces about couples. Can you name a piece of Classical music that is about a couple? Swan Lake by Chzaycovsky

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Can you name a playful piece of Classical Music? The Nutcracker Suite by Chycovsky (not sure about the spelling there, sorry!)

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Can you name a flashy piece of Classical Music? Ravel's 'Bolero' - is that 'flashy' enough for you? I like it as its dramatic and melodic and reminds me of Torville and Dean winning the ice dancing championship about 25 years ago!

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I got an ear pain, when touching it hurts close form the inside?what can i do to remove the pain? You really need to consult a doctor. Ear infections can be dangerous if neglected and it sounds as if you might have a middle-ear infection such as otitis media. This can easily be cleared up by antibiotics but you should not neglect it.

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Do all brain tumors gives big headaches? If you're suffering big headaches you need medical attention to eliminate causes such as tumour etc., Headaches can be a symptom of various illnesses, not just brain tumour but high blood-pressure, virus etc., Generally, brain tumours do not show symptoms until they are quite advanced. Go for a check-up to put your mind at rest.

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Had a dream that my deceased husband was crying telling me not to leave him yet.We were all girls in a room praying and he was telling me not to leave him yet. Is your husband actually dead? If so, it may be that you are not yet ready to let go of him but that you are trying to raise your spirit by prayer. If he is deceased has it been a long time? If so, then maybe bereavement counselling will help you to move forward and reeslove your grief.

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What does it mean when you have constant dreams that you are going to die? It might be that you are not fulfilled in life so part of you fears that by not fully expressing yourself you are, in a way, 'killing' yourself. You need to discover what it is you're really afraid of, what aspect of your Self or your life you are not being true to, then maybe you can change something and the dreams will stop.

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Dream about wolves laying in a green pasture just stirring at me! But they did not come near me they just look at me!!! Wolves represent a primitive and reatory aspect of Self. If you felt ok with them then you're happy with these elements of your own nature and that's fine. If you felt afraid it suggests you are repressing your Shadow Self and you need to realize that no one is all good. WE don't have to be 'perfect', just good enough.

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What do you think is real beauty? Anything done with love.

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Did you know when you were a child that you were poor? Yes, but it was comparative. We knew there were rich people who had cars and things but we knew kids who were much worse off than us, we thought they were poor. We were aware that we couldn't have certain things, like piano/ballet lessons but we felt happy and loved.

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If you were a stripper, what would be your theme song? Private Dancer by Tina Turner

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Do you think there is a correlation between the sagging economy and a sagging libido? Probably. People tend to get depressed when the economy is sinking and all they hear and read is bad news. Depression kills libido very quickly.

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What do you do when you're in a really "conversational" mood, but it's 2:40 AM and everybody you know in the world is asleep...!!!! Go on AB or write poetry.

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Choose a meaningful word starting with 'A' and 'T' Authenticity & Tenacity

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Do you think if a guy that you like calls you babe/baby/sexy/gorgeous/etc instead of your real name, does that mean that he really likes you or is he trying to get you to have sex with him? I think he's certainly flirting with you but he may not be serious. Maybe he forgets your name or says these things to other girls too? It could be he likes you and finds you sexy/wants to have sex with you. The question is, do you like/fancy him?

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At 20 y. old, is it normal to have no sexual interest whatsoever? I've just never been that attracted to anyone, and I'm not picky. Are you male or female? For a male I imagine it's unusual as the hormones are usually raging at this age. For a female it may be that you just haven't found the one to awaken you yet, maybe you need to fall in love and this just happens without you looking for it. Are you in general good health with high energy levels? If not, perhaps you are lacking certain vitamins etc., in your diet.

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What are three things you should never say during sex? Someone else's name.

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Prostitution and Drugs: Should they be legal? The legalization of these things - and they tend to go hand in hand would help in some ways. However, I feel that prostitution is a debasement of humanity, reducing our urge to love and procreation to a simple animal urge for physical/psychic relief. We do not have four cloven hooves and graze in the grass! Drugs are often concommitant with prostitution and they alter our natural mind-set....

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Can shopping become an uncontrollable obsession? What are the remedies to treat a shopaholic? It is an illness, like kleptomania, so it needs to be treated by an expert therapist. Anything you do she/he will find a way round it and still shop until they drop. It's about trying to fill an inner void. Loss of parents, loss of love, loss of self really, anything that led to this person feeling 'empty' could have triggered this obsession. But its not healthy. Even rich people...

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There is a guy that i like, but never talked to him. i walked home and the gate 2 enter my apartments was closed and he was on the other side. i said hey kid can you open the door, he said no laughed and opend the door. what does it mean is it good? It means he's light-hearted and easy-going but neither 'good' nor 'bad'. At least, the next time you see him you can say, 'hey! thanks for opening the gate the other day/night, what's your name by the way?'

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Are our friends' God's way of apologizing to us for our families? Perhaps they're God's way of showing us how wonderful our families could have been if only we'd viewed them as friends?

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My girlfriend thinks I cheated on her after I lied to here about giving her a couple of rides to her friends houses and talking to her on the phone. Now she doesn't beleive anything I say. I know that I broke the trust but now she goes thru emails, call l Trust is sacred. Once broken it can never be truly mended.

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He says he loves me, I mean the world to him, I'm his best friend and his soulmate, but he doesn't have a heart to give me right now since it was damaged from his divorce. He's scared of hurting me. But would a man say those things without being in love? He's scared of hurting you because he knows he can't give himself yet - sadly, maybe never - to you. You might be surprised when he does give his heart - but it may not be to you. I've been there, got the tee-shirt and sadly, it still hurt like hell, whether he wanted it to or not! Get outta there while you can, if he loves you he'll come running. We can all be so hurt by...

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My love tells me that he loves me and I don`t need to do anything else for him. I believe him when he tells me this. However, he always tries so hard to make me love him even more with sweet surprises. What can I do for him omitting sex? Just be yourself. Whatever you're doing, whoever you are, he clearly apprecaites and loves you. Maybe he likes your simplicity, your lack of guile and 'trying'? If you want to give him a surprise then find out what his best ever experience was as a kid then do something similar one day - like, Disney-land for instance? But truly, if you love him, then he already knows it and just...

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He has lady friends w benefit b4, but now he told u he sees u as her gf, stopped dating other girls for 9 mths. He does not want u to be unhappy, He treats you good but never tell he loves you or plan for any future. Will u ask more? We are mid-40s. I think maybe he's had a painful past so he's scared/reluctant to commit. Don't be too concerned about his past, don't pry or get jealous over it because it is simply that he 'cut his teeth' on that one - and now he wants something better. He is only dating you. He must think a lot of you. Some men are not demonstrative and some men have been so hurt that they are...

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What should you think if you work hard and still fail? We learn as much from our mistakes (and 'failures') as we do from our successes. Thank your pain for teaching you something, try to learn from the 'failures' you've experienced and maybe, just maybe, you are pursuing a goal which isn't nurturing you and you could perhaps find something more rewarding?

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Do you need to be educated to develope psychological theory, and if not, how do you get the theory out there Yes, you would need to be educated and to a high standard, a doctorate at least, I would say. The reason being that you would need a thotough knowledge of all the theories that have gone before and you would also need to do serious research to prove your theories. Having opinions is very different to having a scientific approach to developing a school of thought such as psychology. If...

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How to live life free of fear? Know thyself. You can find calm acceptance of life when you truly know yourself, tha tis why it is a tenet of various religions.

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Which of Freud's ideas appeared to be untrue in the light of modern research...? That we have sexual desire for the parent of the opposite sex. Personally, I think we have idealized love for them, usually, until we mature and realize that our heroes/heroines had feet of clay - just like us! We may experience feelings of rivalry with our siblings and jealousy too if we don't get attention but I reject teh idea of sexual desire in young children. (By the way, I also...

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In what direction does lymphatic fluid move? Clockwise, towards the heart.

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How should I, as a psychological analyst, respond to anger directed towards me from my patient, concerning his problems? What is making you so aggressive towards the people who criticize you? Who are you REALLY angry with? Who do they remind you of? Those are in fact the type of questions I would be asking the client. It's called transference and you need to read up on it in order to write you essay from the correct angle.

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What question would a psychologist ask about society? Maybe it would depend upon their training background. As a psychodynamic therapist I would ask, 'What sort of relationship did this society have with its forebears (mothers'). If I was person-centred humanistic I might ask, 'How does it feel for you?' And if I was behavioural/cognitive I might say, 'What alternatives do you think you have?'

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My question "I'm OK, you're OK?" was a take on the famous self-help book, "I'm OK, you're OK". My 2nd question was a protest against it being flagged non-sense. Both are currently moderated as nonsense. Does anyone remember the book ""I'm OK, you're OK"? Yes, it was by Eric Byrne a pioneer of transactional analysis. His work is still admired and used today by many transactional therapists. Maybe you just phrased it a bit wrong for some people's understanding. Don't worry about it. By the way, read the book again and you'll discover the Child part of you that felt bad about being criticized! :)

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My boyfriend had a dream that I went on a date with a friend of his and he could not figure out why I was with him. what does this mean on his part? Any ideas? This friend in the dream represents his Shadow Self, part of him tha the keeps hidden, his more unacceptabel Self. We all have a Shadow that we hide form others, even from ourselves. He is being on his best behaviour with you at the moment and maybe fears that if you really knew him you would reject him. This is usual in the early stages of a relationship. He needs to be encouraged to be...

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I had a dream that I was walking in a mall loaded with with people while only wearing a bath towel, does anyone know what that could mean? I did not seem worried about it in my dream, just wondering about what it could mean? It's about growing more mature. When we're young we usually accept convention unquestioningly and would feel embarrassed to be seen in public undressed/inappropriately dressed. We need to belong. But, as we get older we begin to form our own standards etc., and the fact that you felt comfortable in the dream suggests that tho' you were not 'running with the crowd' you...

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I at times consider myself to be of the "hippi" mindset. i rarly use shoes, if i must it only amounts to sandals. do ladies find this unattractive? Only if your feet are filthy! And your toe-nails gruesome. I would find it a bit peculiar also if it were wintry weather, a bit too eccentric for me.

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If I love my girlfriend, why do I want to be with other girls too? Well, if you simply find them attractive to look at, then ok. But if you find yourself looking too much, too long and wondering what it would be like to be with them and wishing you were 'single' then I'd suggest you're not ready to settel down yet. Maybe you should give yourself more time to make up your mind - that's if your s/o wants to wait around for you!

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Is it wrong to divorce because of verbal abuse if the abuser refuses to go to counseling? Does it matter whether the husband or wife is the abuser? It's not wrong. This kind of abuse can make your life a misery and ruin your self-esteem. You need to put a stop to this bullying - makes no difference whether the abuser is male or female. First, try relationship counselling, if there's still love between you. If it works, great, if not then... maybe it's time for a new you?

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MEN, do you prefer the company of Women to Men and WOMEN do you prefer the company of Men to Women? I much prefer the company of women to men. I like men well enough but just feel more connected to members of my own sex. (No, I'm not gay)

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Have you ever met a celebrity, what did they say and who was it? I met Robbie Williams the singer, many times, mostly when he was a little boy and used to play with my sons. I asked him if he wanted to eat fish fingers and beans with my kids, he said, 'Yes, please'. Years later I met him again in a local restaurant in his hometown of Stoke-on-Trent and I said, 'Hi Robbie, bet you don't remember me'. He laughed and said, 'I do!...

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How can i get rid of all this bad karma thats plaguing me? everything seems to be going badly. It can help if we thank our negative experiences too, for it is only through pain and discomfort that we grow. Pleasurable experiences are just that, they are there for us to enjoy. Painful, difficult times are there to teach us something about ourselves. It's not about self-blame or guilt in any way, just recognizing how we ourselves have contributed to the problem(s) by our thoguhts...

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Should we be entitled to anything? 'Entitled' is a strange concept. How can we believe ourselves entitled to anything? Even life itself is a gift to us and we are lucky if we can live a healthy, long life. That's usually a combination of luck, determination and intrinsic common sense. Who are we to think that just being born entitles us to a thing? We are no more important than any other living creature on earth...

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How much time will pass until a newlywed couple is no longer considered newlywed? Nine days. Everyhting is a nine-day wonder. Soon, someone else will get married and all the attention will be on them. For nine days... etc.,

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Do you think that religion is the biggest problem? No. It's people and their prejudices, attitudes and opinions (egos!) that are the real cause of division and enmity in this world. We are spiritual beings, religion is man-made and as such does not address the true needs of the soul.

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How do you tell your s/o that they are gaining too much weight? Without it hurting their feelings too much. Tell him you're concerned about his health since you're aware his blood pressure is creeping up and he's putting a bit of weight on. Suggest he tries to lose some and you'll help him with healthy diet choices etc., His blood pressure will probably fall when he drops some weight.

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My s/o and I chose to live in separate households 1yr & 3 months ago, we see each other once a week, my feelings for him are fading, I feel empty when I am with him, any tips or advice about what I should do? Pay attention to your feelings, they don't lie. You separated because the relationship wasn't nurturing you enough, this has now become clearer. Your 'emptiness' when you see him tells me that this man isn't the one for you. Be kind to yourself and him and end it before it becomes just a drawn-out habit with no real affection or respect.

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Can you describe LOVE in 1 word? Divine.

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She says she is confused, shes prego, we got married split up,she got back with her ex, says she dont want a divorce yet. hes back in prison she started counseling to sort out her feelings. Could she really be confused on who she in love or wants to b wit Yes, she could be confused. Maybe she doesn't know what she wants but counselling may help her to discover what she doesn't want. What do YOU wnat is my question to you? You say she's pregnant? Who's the father? Some people have difficulty letting go of the past and that includes bad relationships too. In the end she may decide she doesn't want either of you guys, so...

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Why are you supposed to stand during the national anthem? That sounds like something a dictator would demand his people to do, not a country that gives you the freedom to choose to sit or stand. The 'country' does not demand that you stand. Only your own recognition that some things/people are worthy of your respect 'demands' this. I have noticed that respect-worthy people tend to stand up for anthems, or important people, whereas, a typical 'yob' seems to find everyone else and their values unworthy of respect. Strange?

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How do questions end up in the Expert Q&A? I used to wonder too. It's not that you get to be an Expert just by knowing something about one subject (tho' you can, too). It's when you gain sufficient points from answering lots of q's that you reach teh Level of Expert. Correct me if I'm wrong, fellow AB'rs?

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When is it right to take your anger out on someone? somsomeone? Never. We are only really angry when we're really hurt. Think about that and understand that we need to look after ourselves and not blame others for our own self-neglect. Love yourself. Forgive yourself, no-one is perfect, but most of all, love yourself.

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Whats your favourite part of breaking dawn? The colours! And then, the realization that life is beautiful if I let it be and even darkness ends and how could I feel bad about nor sleeping half the night when the daybreak is so much not to be missed? lol x

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Ladies, have you read any of the guides that men read to learn how to pick up women? What are your thoughts about them (the guides)? I just wonder what would happen if you're not on the same page?!

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Do you ever wish you had been born the other gender? I've often wished I were a lesbian - seriously. I just think most women are nicer than most men. Please don't DR me for this, I have had a hard time with guys and my female friends have always been so good to me... As for wishing to be a man... well, yeah, I have thought about that too and I guess I'd be a right b...... so maybe it's just as well I'm not, eh?

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What is bravery to you? Are you brave? Explain. Bravery is when you do something you're really scared of. Anyone who does things they're unafraid of but seems daring isn't actually being that brave if you think about it. We all have different levels of 'normality' - but brave is when you're scared but do it anyway!

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Why is it that the liar doesn't want other people to lie to them; the cheat and fraud doesn't want other people to cheat and defraud them; the murderer doesn't want to be murdered; the thief doesn't want other people to steal from them? It's about power, I guess. The perpetrater of an evil action is taking power from others, therefore will not be willing to relinquish this by victimizing him/herself.

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Whose responsibility: Rape prevention is more of the man's or the woman's responsibility...... Since rape is an action the rapist is the aggressor, the one who chooses the action. The victim (not always female, by the way) is the passive receiver of the aggressive action. The responsibility lies with the aggressor - the one who takes action. On the other hand, a person has to take resposibility for themselves up to a point, by trying to avoid potential danger, i'e not getting into a...

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Can people be held responsible for their emotions.....or......why can't people be held responsible for their emotions? People react on an emotional level but once we recognize that reaction we can change it if we wish. It's natural to feel sad when someone we love dies, for instance, but that's because of the way we perceive the event - as loss. If we perceived it differently, say, for example as a liberation of their spirit into a greater happiness and they were still with us in some way, that...

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Are love and hate the two different extremes? They are the two extremes of the same emotion, you can't hate someone unless you're passionately involved in some way and its similar with love too. To me, they are halves of the same coin, they go together. There are, however, different forms of love which lack the necessary passion to turn into hate. So, we need to be specific i.e 'passionate' love/hate.

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Why do artists tend to be less drawn to atheism than scientists? Maybe because it lacks imagination? We need imagination to believe in something outside ourselves and artists find it easier to go beyond the normal boundaries people place upon themselves and their version of life. Also, artists tend to be rather idealistic and this may encourage a different perspective too.

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If your life were perfect in every respect, what would it look like? As it does right now. Whatever happens in life is what is meant to happen and all is as it should be.

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Is human existence ultimately empty and futile? Only if we perceive it as such. We create our own reality. We're back to 'the search for meaning', the answer lies within.

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These days, is there anything to think about and anything to write about? The same things that have always been worth thought and writing remain. Just because much has been said before - it hasn't been said by you, who are unique. Therefore, the fundamental truths of life remain worthy of examination and discussion.

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Should we search for meaning or create meaning? What's the difference, really? There is no universal 'meaning' out there awaiting our discovery, it's only when we create meaning that we can actually perceive it. What is meaningful for one person may be completely meaningless to another. If we search for meaning we must search within.

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Which comes first: guilt or morality? Guilt comes first. We can only learn morality by experiencing the negative effects of our selfish/harmful actions. Morality cannot be understood if we have no guilty feelings. Because we are able to feel guilt we determine a set of behaviours that are desirable for our collective peace of mind.

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Why do we feel guilty? Because we have the ability to empathize with others we are able to feel their suffering as if it were our own. Therefore, if we do something that works against someone else's peace of mind, happiness or wellbeing we are in effect hurting ourselves, part of us feels bad/guilty about whatever it is we've done. The definition of a sociopath, for instance, is a lack of empathy and...

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Does time have a beginning? I don't think time is linear. It exists only because we exist to observe/measure 'it'. There is no such thing as time therefore it can have no beginning or end. It may be possible to travel through time one day, I believe Einstein was getting close to that idea when he died. That would imply that it is linear but until we have such proof then I prefer to think of time as relating...

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Friedrich Nietzsche said "The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.". What do you think his meaning was, and what's your opinion on it? I think he meant that stuff of the imagination was false and therefore visionaries were gulled by their own dreams/fantasies, thus 'lying' to themselves. He was a nihilist so he would have a negative take on such things. My opinion of it is that he was possibly a depressive and found refuge in a harsh reality that bordered on cynicism. Yet, if we're honest hope and imagination...

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Who was/is the greatest philosopher? Jesus. He realized that the Commandments could be dispensed with or at least reduced to basic essentials. He told us that we should 'Love the Lord Thy God with all thy heart' and 'Love thy neighbour as thyself'. What greater philosophy could there be if we all loved a Divine principle outside of our own small selves and loved each other in equal measure to our selves? The...

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The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. ~Socrates. What do you think of this quote? I think it's very apt. I understand it to mean that since most of us wish to be seen as polite, kind, moral and worthy people then we should actually live up to the public image we put out when we're on our 'best behaviour'. I've observed that people will in fact become better when they alter their behaviour accordingly, one follows the other. When I worked in prison I...

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If one is upset that the places they visit are too populated, such as coffee shops, beaches etc., is that frustration a sign of hypocrisy? To put it another way, if I resent crowds and wish that people would leave, but I don't leave, am I being hypocrite? No. I think you just don't like crowds, that's all. It's not a question of the activity that you are choosing, which lots of others are choosing too, it's just that you prefer peace and quiet, I guess. Yet, obviously, you need a bit of human company too or you would spend all your time on top of a mountain contemplating your navel! Crowds can be a bit annoying at times,...

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A question for the guys, Would you seriously date a stripper? I have worked as a stripper for over 12 years and have dated alot. Now I would like to have just a few steady BFs. But it seems like after I date a guy a couple of times he loses interest. I'm not a guy but I'd like to help if I can. Do you have any outside interests? I mean, what do strippers talk about? Have you developed any interests such as painting, photography, film... whatever? If you're interested in things then your work will be less central to who you are andf the guys will find you interesting. If you depend on your looks and your act then it will get...

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What would you do if your s/o was very insecure over 1 friend of the oppisite sex, your not very close to this friend, but your s/o wants you to stop seeing them, would you? its not every1 of the oppisite sex, just this 1 person There's something about this friend that your s/o feels threatened by, what might it be? Sometimes, a person can feel that someone is attractive to their partner because THEY perceive them as attractive. Does this friend have qualities that your s/o envies? If so, then maybe your s/o has these qualities too but is not making the best of them, or they're repressed. I'm thinking...

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Why are words that begin with "h" followed by an "an" if it's a consonant and not a vowel? I.e., an historic moment. There are certain words in the English language that 'break rules' as in all languages. The 'h' sound is often dropped deliberately, though you would need to be extremely conversant with the nuances of the language to know when (and with whom) to drop your aitches!

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How do you correctly punctuate: '[The?] first thing you learn is you've got to make it in this world alone.'? The first thing you learn is, you've got to make it in this world, alone.

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What is your idea of an exotic location? Mauritius I guess, tho' I've never been there!

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What's a good way to make a party awesome? Have a theme and insist that guests dress up. You could have a Hollywood party, say, ask peopel to come as their favourite character or star - for those who just cannot or WILL not dress up, ask them to come as 'extras'. I ahd a fab Hollywood party once, it was fantastic - I was Scarlett O'Hara and my husand was Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind! Or a 'gangster'...

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In general, do your friends and family treat you with as much respect as what you feel you deserve? I've felt let down occasionally by my oldest son mainly, but he's getting more mature and kinder these days. My friends in general treat em with respect but there are a few people I've known for a long time who don't seem to care for me as much as I care for them - not a respect thing, but still, something not reciprocated... I try to treat everyone with respect and usually...

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Have you ever been separated from someone you love, due to unresolved conflict, and if so, how did that affect you? I am in that situation because of our major differences. At first I felt as if he'd died and I was greif-stricken and a bit crazy, talking about him all the time, analyzing everyhting and longing to be back with him. But I knew there was nothing to be back with, really as he was cold and critical and rejecting. We've been apart over a year now and I feel a lot stronger tho'...

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Why do I wake up sometimes during my sleep and feel like I am only partially awake. I mean, I will sit right up in bed and know that I am awake but still feel disattached from reality. It generally throws me into a panic and my heart starts to race. It's because you're not actually fully awake but in a 'lucid dreaming state', it's nothing to worry about. You need to try to breathe slowly, telling yourself that you're only dreaming and if you can relax back into sleep or just relax until yuou're fully awake you will avoid the panic etc.,

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I was molested at 8 yrs old by medical doctors.I But now that I look back a part of it felt good, that's enbarassing.I'm conflicted and confused about my feelings.Can anyone help?Anyone else get touched by doctors in a wrong way? You feel embarrassed and bad about yourself because you know now that what happened to you was wrong. That doesns't make you wrong - just the sick-minded people who abused you. If someone gave you something sugary to eat how could you stop your tongue from finding it sweet? We have senses, that doesn't mena we're guilty if we find something pleasant. A child of eight would have...

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I've been tired the past three days (been to the doctor, nothing medically wrong), and I'm now getting tired of being tired. Have you ever been tired of being tired? Yes. It's a dull feeling of inertia and apathy and after a while you start to get tired of this feeling and that's a good sign that you want to be picking yourself up again. Sometimes, we need to give in to our feelings of weariness, rest up, recharge our batteries and then come back refreshed and ready for more! I find myself getting annoyed with myself if I let my...

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I have psychological and emotional problems that I think stem from my Oedipus complex. How does one get over this stuff? Am I just screwed? No, you're not. Nor are you alone with such a diagnosis as many of us are affected at a deep level by early childhood traumas and inadequate parenting. If you feel you are not living your life to its fullest potential then maybe you could invest in a course of good therapy with a well-qualified and experienced pychodynamic therapist. I received a good deal of help myself for problems...

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When You Die Do You Acually Live Another Life In Heaven Just Like You Do When Your Alive Well, who can say for sure? But, I hope not. It would be good to think that we're on a learning curve and what we learn here, in this form is important for the next stage of our journey. We may not need physical bodies and jobs, and money and clothes and food in a more refined 'form', as spirit but maybe we partake of a Higher Consciousness, a One-ness with God/Spirit? But if...

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Could you teach me to say PEACE in a different language? Pace. (Parsay)

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Do you believe we are existing in a parallel universe? I think it's possible that there are many parallel universes. We tend to have a blinkered vision of ourselves and our world but look at the countless galaxies and some planets must support life, somewhere out there. So why not different dimensions that exist on a plane we can't see since we are differently equipped? Read Philip Pullman's trilogy, 'His Dark Materials' if...

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Is it possible to love people you don't personally know? Like your love for God or nature etc... Yes, it may not be easy but it is possible. And desirable, if only we could all become like that. If we realize that there is no separation, that we are all one in spirit then it is easier to love ourselves and each other. Individuality separates us, it's an ego thing, we 'think' we're somebody! But, in fact, we are only fooling ourselves.

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I read in one of these posts that there is "only one unforgiveable sin," but there was no specific reference to that particular sin. Just so I don't stumble into this one without realizing it's unforgiveable, can someone tell me what it is? What is your own idea of an 'unforgiveable sin'? For me, the most unforgiveable sin is against one's own life. That is, wasting or taking your life away, not recognizing what a precious gift we have been given.

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I have very little money what can i buy cheap to lose weight fast Eat a very plaian diet - little or no sugar, refined flour, pasta etc., Meat or fish with salad or vegetables, low-fat options for dairy (eat very little dairy) and walk. Walk everywhere and go a littel faster each day. You don't need to starve or to be rich to lose weight - in fact, a lot of fattening food is an expensive waste of money.

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How would you feel if your partner never wanted to be intimate? I was in this situation with my husband (separated now) for over five years. I felt all the above emotions and I even considered that he may be depressed but there was nothing I could do to change things. If a partner is willing to go for relationship counselling then you might stand a chance. Otherwise, this sort of thing eats away at your sense of self and life becomes drab and joyless....

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How do you break up with someone you live with who has done nothing wrong but love you and care for you, but quite frankly bores the living days out of you? A serious relationship was built and love was made but how do you end it? Sounds as if you've been cared for too long - maybe you feel your partner is your mother? Try treating her/him as if they were your lover, be romantic, surprise her/him and change things. Maybe you could try doing a bit of the caring, loving and looking after for once? A relationship isn't a one-sided thing and people are not here to provide entertainment.

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My male friend says I am very deep and have a communicative and articulate mind...Does he like me? Do you like him? If so, use your deep and communicative mind to show him! He clearly likes you but sounds a bit scared to show it in another (romantic) way. Maybe he thinks you would reject a more physical, less cerebral approach? Why not grab hold of him and give him a deep and communicative kiss?

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What do pain pills do to your body Read the enclosed leaflet for side effects. The liver and kidneys have to eliminate whatever we put into ourselves but generally drugs have been tested for safe limits. If you have chronic pain maybe you could speak to a health advisor about your concerns?

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Do you ever feel like people are trying to get into your mind just by hanging around you and saying certain things? and once they get in thney want to hurt you so youll never be the same? i feel like that all the time, anyone else? I'm sorry you feel so vulnerable, it must be hard for you. But, ask yourself one question: are you really that important/powerful/interesting that they need to do that? They may just hang around because they like you and feel your sensitivity, but then they accidentally hurt you (as we all do) - without even realizing it. Don't let others control you, be yourself. No one else is more...

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Do you think you will still be listening to the same music you play now in twenty years time? I hope so but I'll be a pretty old lady by then!

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I bought a good trained dog from this guy! but why doesn't the dog listen to me? Perhaps you lack confidence and the dog senses this? Don't shout at him, just command him gently and firmly and praise him in an obvious way when he does as you say - give him words, tone of voice, pat him and maybe a little treat too. Ignore him when he disobeys. Leave the command for a short while then repeat it. He needs to learn what it is you want/expect from him. Once he understands...

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If u have a strong emotion and u want to say something("i love u")to that person,is it true love? To truly love someone you need to know them. How well do you know this person? If its just physical attraction then it might lead to something more, but it might also lead to disappointment. Try to get ot know him/her first, maybe in the company of other people and see how you feel later.

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My sister, for the last 62 years, always says that because she braided my hair, it proves she loves me, even though she is cruel and violant toward me, even recently. Why does she always say this when her behavior is the complete opp It sounds as if she has some deep-seated problems, maybe from childhood? Is she a lot older than you? Did she help to raise you and care for you? Maybe she had responsibility forced on her for some reason - like your mother wasn't there? If so, she might be resentful towards you as she sees you as the carefree one. She braided your hair - sounds as if she tried to look after you to the...

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I miss my ex boss who I fell in love with and was a BIG Loser,married to an American lady and cheated behind her and me. Its strange his memories never fade away from my mind. Feel like being with him. Whats wrong with me? It might me that you thought he was superior to you because he was your boss and unattainable because he was married. Maybe you feel undeserving of a man who truly loves you? Thank your lucky stars you were never married to him, have pity for his poor wife, he's probably still cheating on her! Concentrate on loving yourself more, develop your own personality/skills/friendships and you will...

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Why would someone always seem to be smiling? Some people smilse to hide their pain - even from themselves! It can be defence mechanism.

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My daughter wants to know why adults get more frustrated that children. I gave her my answer, would you please tell her? One word: consequences. Children rarely understand the possible implications of their decisions/actions whereas adults do, all too well. Therefore, we tend to analyze, worry, predict and recall all manner of things - and we expect and desire more - no wonder we suffer from disillusion, unhappiness, frustration and pain etc., Tell your daughter that adults have more responsibilties than children...

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Is Loving the Wrong Person a Sin? Only against yourself...

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Is it OK to steal a car if I return it by morning and fill it up with petrol? No, because the owner might need it for an emergency in the middle of the night and it could cause serious problems and even if nthye didn't need it but found it gone it would cause stress and problems with the law etc., Why not ask to borrow it and be prepared to take full responsibility for any potential damage?

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Song lyrics - what is the best line ever? 'I swear I see my reflection, somewhere so high above these walls... I see my light come shining, from the west down to the east' From 'I Shall Be Released' by...? Dylan? Or who? Can't recall but I like all the words to this song - it's an oldie, does anyone remember it?

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What do repeating dreams mean? Like a dream that happens more than once but in different ways. Like lets say you get asked out different ways. What's the meaning? Recurring dreams are a sign of some issue that has not yet been resolved. Dreams are messages from the unconscious but they are not always in language we understand, they are symbolic. It sounds as if you are struggling to unite the opposing sides of your nature - or your male/female sides. Who's doing the 'asking' you refer to? Your male or your female? Maybe you are wishing for...

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How can I cope when I am having an anxiety attack? Its hard and when you're in the full-blown grip there's not much to do but breathing properly can help. What helped me most was realizing what I was really anxious about - my own hostile feelings! It took therapy to reveal this to me and I recommend it wholeheartedly - but, you have to be committed, get a good therapist and be brave. You'll be surprised what comes up - no wonder...

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K, so my best friend cheated on her boyfriend ( im like super good friends with him too) at a party on friday, and she hasnt told him anything yet, and i dont think she will, so should I tell him? or should I just stay out of it? She's not really your best friend, is she? Or, should I say, you're not really HER best friend, are you? Are you maybe just a little itsy-bitsy-bit jealous of her? You're 'super' good friends with him? Even better than with her? What's your problem? Didn't he fancy you and preferred her? Leave well alone but have the guts and decency to tell your so-called...

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If a ex hugs u tight when you bump into each other like he did after you had a argument, when u was together, would you think there are still feelings there? He's a good-feeling guy, he doesn't want bad feelings just because you split, like he didn't when you used to fall out. He's saying he has no hard feelings for you, just accept that and smile, hug him back and move on. If you're not the same type, that is, all huggy, touchy-feely, demonstrative etc., then you'll read more into this than you ought to.

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What quality you like most about yourself and why? Everything! Why not?

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I'm legally blind and can't drive. I know there's a stereotype that says the man should pick the woman up on the first date, but in my case that's impossible. I'll be going on a blind date (no pun intended) later this week. How should I approach this? Be yourself. Forget stereotypes and show an interest in your date then all will be well. Good luck.

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Why is it better to have a pair of organs and not single ones Nature designed us for survival, therefore we are equipped for battle in that most of our vital organs come in pairs and we can survive with only one if the other is damaged. However, we only have one brain and one heart, one liver so maybe we are not meant to be indestructible. But, in terms of reproduction and survival we are well equipped for passing damage, since we have two of the parts...

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Why is true friendship so hard to find? does it even exist? In order to find true friendship you have to be a true friend. It exists, but like all relationships it must be fed and watered and we need to accept the other person unconditionally and with no expectations or attachment. Too often friendship is about what we get out of it and then we feel let down by others.

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How would you feel if you lost the best thing in the world? Buddha says 'Let the whole of your life be a gentle letting go'. Maybe we need to lose things in order to release ourselves from attachments - this doesn't mean we can't love, just that we recognize the impermanence of all things. I've lost a lot in my life and it caused me to feel devastated at teh time, but I survived and what's more, I feel more peaceful now.

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If somebody pinched your bracelet , is nasty to you all the time, hated your daughter, bit you on the forehead, would you let them move back in.. or have any contact with them at all? Please! Do you hate yourself so much? If so, then at least don't hate your daughter, for her sake if not your own tell this jerk to maove on. Try to get some counselling for your self-esteem issues, I feel you need a little help to get yourself into a better frame of mind.

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How can I stay attracted to my boyfriend when everything seems to be going wrong for us? I don't want to break up. Maybe you can go to relationship counselling? If the relationship is going wrong because you don't communicate properly then maybe you have a chance of improving things, learn to LISTEN to each other and treat each other always with the utmost respect. If it's wrong because you have little in common then maybe you're with th wrong person and the initial attraction you felt just...

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I can never plan anything with my gf of at least 3 years.She always fights about something, doesn't talk to me for a few days, then makes up. What can I do? Stop being a yo-yo! You're in a co-dependent relationship and that means you are not being yourself. Wake up before it's too late. Suggest relationship counselling, if she won't buy it then suggest not seeing her for at least six months. You'll be surprised to get yourself back again and may even prefer it!

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My ex has been in love with me for 6 years now he says he doesnt and has found someone else how can you just stop loving someone just like that and replace me so easily He was no longer 'in love' with you (nor you with him, for that matter) since that stage of feeling high and excited etc., is a chemical hit as your hormones go into overdrive. That stage can last between a few months to about three years maximum. After that, if you're properly bonded then true love begins to grow. This is a more mature, caring phase and involves realizing...

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My bf recently admitted to me that for the first 6 months we were dating he spent nights out with me in bars/restaurants wherever looking at othr women and thinking they were better looking and wondrin if he'd made the right choice, is tis normal Is he/you quite young? If so, then it may just be a natural ting to look (and admit it!). Someone older might be more sophisticated/thoughtful and not tell you. Whenwe first get together with someone it's not always love at first sight and perhaps a little 'window-shopping' still goes on until we feel more committed. Sounds as if he feels comfortable enough with you to tell you...

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What is the easiest way I can get to spend a night in jail? Just one night? Get very drunk and disorderly in the street, l,ie in the gutter with your pants around your knees, puke etc., The police will shovel you up and throw you in the can for the night until you sober up then go before the judge!

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A Woman got a Job as a Cleaner in the Prison where her Daughter's Murderer was incarcerated, in order to confront him.........do you think she's wrong to do this......your views? No, I don't think she's wrong, I think she's burning up with pain and anger. If I were her I'd try to kill the b****** but I'd be a murderer too, and where would that leave me? 'Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord', we need to remember that. It may be better to write him letters every day telling him how she feels, what her daughter was like, what she's...

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Is there a Need for Restaurants specialising in Low Calorie/Low Fat Meals.......would you go to one as an Alternative Choice....? What a fantasitc idea! YOu could even offer low-alcohol drinks for the serious dieters. I'd go to one and several of my friends would too.

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Where was the worst place your pet had to take a dump? We had a rescue dog, a German Pointer, Harry. He had been starved and treated badly before we had him, so had a habit of wolfing down any food he found, on the beach in the street, anywhere! He ate the entire contents of a saucepan full of red thai chicken curry that he had reached up in the kitchen to get at. I found the pan licked clean - enough for six people! We went for a walk and were in...

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I can't seem to make my gf orgasm when i'm inside her. But i can finger her to a great orgasm. what can i do to get her to orgasm when i am inside her? Don't enter her until she's really ready, that means learning how to take her to the brink yet not push her over the edge. Then, when you actually have intercourse she may orgasm easily. Lots of gentle foreplay may be the solution. It might also help to put a pillow beneath her hips just before penetration as this will help lift her pelvis and make closer contact with you during...

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Don't you feet you have too much stuff in your life, home and mind? How do you get rid of it? You've been through a lot, and still have a way to go. You're mourning the loss of your father and also losing your mother - how hard for you! I wish I could give you a big hug! Concentrate on the essentials, learn to say 'No', and remember, no one is indispensable. Don't try to be all things to all people. Please look after yourself. You may email me if you wish - look...

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Don't you feet you have too much stuff in your life, home and mind? How do you get rid of it? Hypatia, you sound as if you're suffering 'burn-out' symptoms, honey. You've been doing too much good for too long for too many other people and forgetting all about little old you! How we get into this situation you describe is just life, a gradual accumulation, a necessary spreading of ourselves - until we suddenly find we're spread too thin. So... start in the...

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I'm considered a generous person and others aren't so how would i meet more alike people if i'm from background and through no fault of my own been considered intimadating through my yorkshire dialect and because ive been to prison for daft crimes ive dun Maybe you could try discovering a serious interest, such as photography, film, or rock-climbing etc., Something that you could join a group to share so that you're connected by your common interests and not judged by your past or your dialect (tho' a lot of people like a Yorkshire dialect and many people aren't concerned by local accents these days anyway). If you find something...

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What causes some people to self isolate? Disillusion with shallow society, sometimes. A feeling of being safe in my own company and space. I can feel threatened if I'm in the company of insensitive people who seem to have no regard for the feelings of others, no empathy with problems as they've led easy, sheltered lives so far. I often prefer my own company to getting drunk in the company of uncreative, opinionated people,...

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Why is it that lesbians and gay men, generally speaking, do not get along? In my experience they get along well enough and maybe it depends on whether they know each other. In a crowded gay/lesbian bar then maybe they're all strangers and why would gay men approach a member of the opposite sex to whom they hadn't been introduced? When, after all, they're probably there to pull some guy. If they're in a different situation, with more socializing...

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Frist time cat owner. Adopted a stray a few months back. She seems to be licking her privates a lot the past few days. Is this a concern or is she just grooming? Is she in season perhaps? If so, watch her or you'll end up with a whole load of kittens one of these days!

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My daughter n law is pregnant and she is an alien. If she is deported can the baby stay here with my son? I want her deported. She is making his life miserable. She is defrauding the government. I answered your other question regarding this matter only I didn't know then that she was pregnant. A baby needs its mother, you are a mother so you should know how that feels. Maybe motherhood will change this woman for the better, maybe she will need you to be a good grandmother. Try to give love to your family and maybe things will improve all around.

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I know someone who is defrauding the government by getting public aid. She is married and a menance to society. She is my daughter-n-law. I want her deported. She is making my son's life miserable, which makes me miserable. When your k If she is no good for your son he will realize it one day without you forcing the issue. You could report her but it doesn't guarantee she will be deported. Even if it did come to that it might mean that your son leaves to be with her too, have you thought of that? Sometimes our kids marry the wrong person (one of my sons did!) but we have to keep quiet and be there for him if and when he...

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Men. Im curious about what you think of "MILF's." Why is this sexy? Is it the fact that the woman in question is a mother? Does THAT part make her so hot? Or it just HAPPENS that shes a hot woman who IS a mom too. Does her being a mom matter? Explain. I think its something to do with younger guys having fantasies over their friends' mothers - who are sexier than the young chicks they hang around with. They are impressed when they see an older woman who still looks good and that's because they have been conditioned to think of 'mums' as unsexy and just there to do the cooking and cleaning. They look at other guys mothers...

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It is said that in the end every one dies afraid and alone what do you think? Maybe the actual experience of death is the alone part, no-one can accompany you on that journey. But afraid? Not always, in my experience. Much of the time a person is very ill and has adapted to the reality of their situation, they go through 'stages' - a bit like grief if they know they're going to die, say with a terminal illness. Some are afraid, but if you have a strong...

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Do you think people should always be forgiven? It's hard to forgive if something really terrible happens to you or your nearest and dearest. But, when/if we can truly forgive then we feel better. Bad feelings eat away at us and it is ourselves that suffer while we burn up with anger, hatred etc., I;m not saying we 'should' forgive, that's a big should. But if we could forgive then we free ourselves and show compassion...

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Have you asked your 5 questions today yet Interesting question - why did some sourpuss DR you? You've stimulated answers anyway. (I've given you +5 to help make up for the meanie!) I used to ask loads of questions and answer loads too, when I first joined. Answerbag was a bit of a lifeline for me back when... Now, I feel I've almost run out of questions and its a bit like therapy, you get kind of 'emptied out'...

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Which is easier to do...... questioning yourself, or questioning others? Since I believe that others ARE my Self then I question myself first and foremost, recognizing that whatever flaws (or gifts) I perceive in others are but projections of my Self. 'First remove the mote from thine own eye' - from the New Testament, but whatever your faith, good philosophy to follow?

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I have an awesome friend who has been a life saver for me this week alone as I am going thru issues. I want him to know exactly what he means to me & how much I appreciate him but I suck at those things. Please help? Tell him (or write it on a really nice card) exactly what you've told us (without the 'I suck at those things' bit tho'!) He sounds like a fantastic friend so you must be special to him too. If there's something you know he likes e.g chocolate cake? Movies? then maybe you could bake him a treat or take him to the latest must-see movie?

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What do women really want to talk about when on a date with someone? What goes on your mind? Since most of us tend to want love and approval and to feel attractive then if on a date with someone new we need to feel the other person is interested in us and finds us attractive (but not just physically, please!) We think about the effect we're having, whether he likes us, whether he's thinking of something more permanent - even, is he falling in love with me? Am I falling in...

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My boyfriend wants me to meet his ex wife, even though I've told him I don't want to. She keeps calling and I feel like she is ruining our relationship. What should I do? How long have they been parted? Do they have children? Why don't you want to meet her, is it jealousy, anxiety or fear? He's with you now and she is past tense. Be confident in yourself and tell him that you don't want to be in close relationship with his ex and that you'd prefer him to be distant but polite - talk to her if her has to but not on a close friends basis. Who...

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Can a man (like me) attract (then keep interested) a super, high quality, intelligent Woman? -or- is it more up to whim? If you really are all you say then you just scored! I have the opposite problem - men often seem afraid of my (ok, admittedly superior! Haha!) qualities which are much as you describe. I'm not arrogant, I have a great sense of fun and like lots of things - not just 'book-ish'/intellectual things. I'd like a man who likes himself, enjoys his work - whatever that is, is...

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Hi friends i am dark skinned and i am very light hearted person. i wont even hurt others on the basis of theirfinancial status, looks oranything. but many people used to say i am dark and hurt me. i ve many good qualities but still why others r hurtin me I answered before but just thought I'd add a little extra. On thinking about your question it occurs to me that maybe you are TOO nice. Maybe you try too hard to please other people instead of pleasing yourself and BEING yourself? This often happens when someone is less sure of themselves and if you've met with prejudice in your life and been hurt this is only to be expected. Try to...

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Have you ever had the displeasure of going through a verbally abusive relationship? Sadly, yes. It destroys your sekf-respect and your self-esteem is the first casuality if you're on the receiving end. But even for the one dishing it I think they feel bad about themselves too. The problem must be addressed, maybe through counselling, realtionship or individual - it's worth a try if you think your relationship worth it.

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Who is the Grim Reaper, and what are some other names he is known by? Another name is Old Father Time.

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What is the best way to dispose of a body? Since you said 'properly' I suggest you contact a local undertaker and discuss your options. Cremation or burial? Flowers or donations? Headstone or tree forest scattering? Etc., If you wish to do it 'improperly' I suggest you give yourself up - now! before you do harm to any more innocent people. They have all sorts of ways of helping these days in such matters... RIP

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You just sneezed, and you don't have a tissue. What would you do? And what would you consider "acceptable" behavior for it? If I don't have a tissue to hand I pinch my nose and the 'sneeze' is repressed apart from a sort of small sound in my mouth. If I have a cold and I need a tissue then if the worst came to the worst I'd have to use my hand then find somewhere to rinse it, I guess.

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Have you ever achieved a long-term goal that was first considered impossible? I am very lucky as I have achieved several 'impossible dreams' in my lifetime. I went to university at the age of 27 and graduated with a BA Honours Degree after being poor and uneducated as a child. Then I became a teacher when it once seemed totally unattainable. I also got to live in an architect-designed fabulous house that my husband and I commissioned. Then I retired to live in...

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My wife likes me to punch her in the face while she is having an orgasm. I usually oblige her but she continually has black eyes or swollen lips. Should we stop doing this or is it not a problem if it doesn't bother us? One or both of you needs to get some counselling. I know you're 'consenting adults' but this sounds unhealthy and could lead to more extreme violence and humiliation for both of you. How do you feel about abusing your wife? Maybe she was abused as a child and this is the only way she can cope with the guilt of sexual relations. Be very careful that you're not actually making...

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What three things in life that can destroy a person? Pride, envy and greed possibly?

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Don't you think the racists have a defect in their DNA? No. Of course not. Prejudice is born from ignorance and fear. It's natural that people from different cultures have suspicions about other cultures due to fear and ignorance of their ways. (I'm talking about a primitive situation here, i.e tribal) In the world we live in there is still fear and ignorance, intolerance and hatred but these are definitely learned attitudes either from...

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What makes you you realize you are getting older? Having to get my teeth bleached as they're going yellow!! Even tho' I clean them religiously - I put it down to years of bad habits, like cigarettes, red wine and coffee!

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What do you want to be in future:- 1.rich 2.smart 3.intelligent Alive.

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I cant live without him and I havent even dated him...but I'm in love with him.I know he cant be with me_my heart and mind are with him all the time.I feel I am at a state where I have lost so much, all I want in life is him..how should i overcome him? Yeah, I've felt like that too and it just eats away at you, it's not even a pleasurable feeling, is it? There's a clue somewhere in that you say you 'have lost so much', is there maybe some unresolved grief in your life, a hole that you're trying to fill with this man? The fact that you don't know him suggests that maybe you're projecting qualities onto...

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What does it mean when your ex has a new lover but your ex is still trying to make up with you? They want/need sex, physical comfort and companionship but they still love you.

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When on a diet name something with chicken or pork that will make it taste good and won't be too many calories?(I'm starving and everything tastes boring) Marinade chicken breast (skinless) in a mixture of low-fat natural yoghurt, lime juice, handful of chopped fresh coriander, small red chile chopped fine, a teaspoon of ground cumin. Mix the ingredients together, cover chicken and leave in fridge for two - four hours or better still, overnight. Grill and eat hot or cold with salad etc., For pork: Chop onion and garlic and fry gently in a little...

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A homeopathic medication (Hyland's Teething tablets) contains multiple extracts.., most prominent is "belladonna". My 1yr. old is awakenning thruoghout the night,is, and what are the side affects? Thanks! Teething is not an illness and maybe we need to know and learn some pain in order to develop part of our brain for use in later life. You don't die of teething! (This is for all the people who knock homeopathy when they haven't a clue - not you bigbill!) Since the belladonna in the remedy is most prominent it suggests that the remedy is for 'typical' teething problems i.e...

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I just got back from india and am not feeling so well. i have a sore throat, a very upset and loud stomach, and not a lot of energy. any ideas as to what could be wrong? i reluctantly went to the doc and he didn't have much of a clue, input would be nice If your doc wasn't too worried then maybe its because there's nothing to worry about. If it helps, the symptoms you describe are the same as everyone I know - including me! - have been suffering from since before Xmas and ongoing... And we're in England! Viruses get around, India isn't the reason, just because its exotic. If you were ill with something from there you'd...

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Would you marry someone with your last name? Why ever not? (Unless too closely related!) 'A rose by any other name...' - there's more to marriage than changing your name, surely?

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If you saw ur ex and he looked emotional when you talked and when you said bye he hugged you tight for about 10 secs and kissed you on the cheek would you think there is feelings there, he ended it 11 months ago He may be regretting his loss by the osund of things. Are you interested? I don't know why your relationship broke down or how long you were married but if the problems you had before are still there then nothing can change if you go back. Why not think it through and then maybe if you need to talk together go to a marriage counsellor? Just another thought. Loss is loss and is painful...

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Was William Shakespeare an anti-Semitic? I agree with the previous reply and would like to also add that many scholars believe Shakespeare based some of his works on the work of Christopher Marlowe (indeed, some think he may even have been Marlowe!) - and The Merchant of Venice shows marked similarity to The Jew of Malta by Marlowe. He took a lot his material from The Chronicles of History too and just 'dramatized' the...

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What is the best way to clean a fountain pen? Not many people use a 'proper' pen these days! (I still do, occasionally). You should first ensure that it is empty then get acup of luke-warm water and fill and empty the pen several times. This should flush out the barrel. You may find the nib is blocked with dried ink if the pen has been out of use for some time, however gently filling and emptying as described should do the trick....

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Who wrote: "All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost"? 'All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.' It's from The Lord of The Rings by Tolkein. It refers to an...

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Has anyone ever visted Sidari in Corfu? what did you think of it? Yes, but it's many years ago now and places change. Corfu was the first place I went abroad to, with my husband - almost 28 years ago! It was a lovely, unspoilt island and I'm told that there are still 'special' places if you look. I hope, if you go, you as magical a time as we did all that time ago. Good luck.

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Ladies/Gay Men: When do you NOT love a man in uniform? When he's a policeman pulling me for some trivial traffic offence! Rest of the time I tend to go a bit wobbly at the knees! But - WHY? I don't get it? Are we all so authoritarian or what? (Or does it just make them look a bit more... defined, tidier, sort of thing?) Oh well, who cares, bring on the Captain of the Guards please!

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Why, or more accurately how, is it that "no man may see the Father and live"? Is it like radiation, or more like a black belt who breaks his wife's nose and says "honey, you know you can't sneak up on me like that"? Perhaps it means that some things are only knowable after death?

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What is my Responsibility as a Christian , Muslim, Jew, atheist , Buddhist , Hindu, humanist etc? I think you're asking for a basic shared morality here? Well, independent of religious beliefs I think its important to do no harm to others or to oneself.

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My wife thinks I want to cheat on her and she cought me looking at porn. How do I win her back now? You can try telling her that porn is a different sort of turn-on for a man and even for some women. Explain that you don't have a desire for the women in the images, just that you like the buzz you get and its an exciting feeling. Tell her no other woman can come near her in your eyes. Maybe ask her if she'd try to watch a 'soft-porn' movie with you and see how it makes her...

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Is there a difference between regular discharge and sexual discharge minus the presence of semen that can be noticed in a womans underware from staining Without the presence of semen there can be little observable difference. After all, a woman can feel aroused for no particular reason sometimes, her hormones etc., so she may be a little wetter 'down there'. But are you really so paranoid that you're checking out your partner's panties? If you don't have trust you need to talk to her and tell her your fears and...

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Ok people my husband had astroke he is 47 and we have not have sex of any kind in like 6 months and iam starting to think about other men i know and use to do the bar thing with am i a bad wife How very sad for you, it must be very hard to lose your relationship with your husband in such a cruel way. Starrgazer's answer was very good. I, too, have had to live without a sexual relationship for the past five years and it's made me feel depressed, old and unloveable. We all need the emotional as well as the physical closeness that goes with good sex. Is there a chance his...

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Married gals, if you thought your husband was having an affair... would you set fire to his genitals? No, its not his genitals that are to blame, its his mind. Too many people separate themselves from their body parts in this way instead of realizing we are just one whole being and ought to be able to choose what we do with our bodies, not be led by an animal instinct. Revenge of such barbaric proportions is also giving into base instincts, we are capable of much more than this.

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I'm 19 and I'm getting married next month. My partner and I had not decided to get hitched so soon but due to our complicated situation, we are doing it in such a jiffy.I have decided not to invite my school friends to my wedding.Is that wrong on my part? Just read your comment about your fiance's feelings around this. Suppose you show him you care for his opinions by suggesting you throw a post-wedding party for your best friends (and his). That way it will be too late for them to pass comments unless they're very crass! And, tell your fiance that you really like the intimate, personal idea of getting married quietly, after all its a...

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Imagine the following scenario: You are a male who has been convicted of rape, the judge gives you an unusual desicion, you have the choice of serving 25 years in prison without parole or being castrated AND serving a 10 year prison sentence? Since rape is not purely motivated by sex drive but by aggressive urges to control others, what good would castration serve? To ask people to imagine they're rapists is bad enough but to ask what sentence they'd prefer... well, most men would feel horrified at the thought of losing their balls. But most men are not rapists and power-freaks! ANd if the rapist was clued-up he'd...

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Which Woman of Legend Are You? (take quiz) I am Deborah of Israel (Judge 4)! FAscinating quiz and I have to say I'm proud to identify with the wonderful Deborah.

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I always feel like everyone hates me. I never fit in because i try to hard. I try to be really nice to them all because i did something really bad a while back and im frightened they will tell everyone. anyone got any advice on getting my life back. You say yourself that you never fit in because you try too hard. You see, you know the answer yourself. Also, its you that hates yourself, not 'everyone' else! You feel guilty. Well, if you learn from how bad you feel about whatever you did not to do that sort of thing again, then a good result has come about. So feel grateful for your mistakes, we only learn from painful things....

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Do farts really stink? Methane gas smells. That's what farts are made of! Haven't you ever stood in a crowded lift and somebody let out a Silent Stinker? Well, if not where have you been all your life?

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Why are women more attracted to married men? Maybe some women feel that the guy is able to offer maturity and emotional stabilty. Or, if they see him around with his wife and he treats her nicely, they'd like some too? And, of course, there's the age-old one of wanting the unavailable and because its out of bounds you think you want it even more. Anyone with imagination and common-sense would realize that they ought to look at...

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Virgo man sagittarus woman +relationship Great combination! Go for it! My oldest son (Virgo) has been happily married to his Sag wife for thirteen years. They have two lovely sons and a happier family you couldn't hope to meet. She's warm and easy-going, stable and sincere, he's a bit of a worrier and perfectionist, she jollies him along, gives him a feeling of freedom and security and basically he adores her and she...

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Have you ever unconsciously discriminated against someone? Why? I have tho' I'm ashamed to admit it. I was driving through a rough part of town and approaching traffic lights on red. A group of 'homies' were jostling by the pavement and I reached out automatically and locked my car doors! I'm not sure if I would if they had looked different...

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If, as a non-Christian, I am unable to make a valid choice of morality, how can I at the same time be capable of making a valid choice of faith? If you don't trust your rational side enough to make such big decisions maybe you ought to be allowing your irrational side more say in the matter, like, why not give faith a chance? Just in case... you might need it one day since it may offer more support than your own untrustworthy thought processes? Just a thought...

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What can be mined? Hidden depths.

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I have been dating a single dad seriously but haven't met his daughter or her mother. He says he wants to keep his two lives separate. Is it healthy to lead a double life like this? You don't say how long you've been 'seriously dating', and whether he feels as serious as you do? Parents who've broken up are often very careful before introducing a prospective new 'mom' or 'dad' to their children. If he's being protective towards his child then that shows he's sensitive, thoughtful and considerate about her feelings and...

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Why is it sometimes just SO hard to walk away? Feelings and thoughts are two different things. If you're an emotional sort of person you will let your feelings win - or at least struggle to. If you're more logical and rational you will assess the situation and know if it's bad for you emotionally and make a decision more easily. It's possible to train your mind to be more rational but it takes time and maybe even therapy...

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What is the cocept of hope 4 u? The Ancient Greeks believed Hope to be one of the evils unleashed on the world when Pandora opened the box. She was the weakest and the last to get out as she was forced back in. But people became so despondent without Hope that she was finally released. For me, hope is like that. An illusion, almost evil when it deludes us and stops us seeing reality, but perhaps a 'necessary' evil?...

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What did u think of the movie atonement? starring keira knightley, did anyone think that Briony, as her younger self, was kinda creepy? I kept expecting her to do something really freaky the whole movie. Wasn't that the whole point? What a good actress that child must have been to convey the hidden menace of her emerging sexuality, jealousy and 'dark side'. Brilliant film in my eyes, and I love all Ian McKewan's books - they're all a bit on the 'creepy' side! (Have you seen Keira KNightley in 'The Duchess' - another brilliant movie and she plays a...

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For six years I have been dating this wonderful single Mom with 4 children. At home she co-sleeps with all of them 12-19 yrs old. What is going on? Two yrs ago when I found out about it she said it was only occasional but I believe its fairly regular? Sounds as if maybe she was a young mom and having been alone for many years with her kids has thought of herself as more of a sibling and less of a parent figure. Her boundaries are weak, her children are not learning approriate boundaries because of her/their habits. Older children need their own space and privacy - that means their own beds if not their own bedrooms. Tell her you're...

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Should I tell my mom my stepdad kiss me on the mouth? I m currently staying at their house, I m 21 years old. Do you need to stay at their house? If not, then leave asap and after you've left yuou can tell her that he made you feel uncomfortable by approaching you in an inappropriately sexy way. Tell her she needs to know he's got wanderlust, 'cos if he fancies you then he'll be fancying another 21 year old girl pretty soon, I guess. It will cause trouble but you may be nipping...

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How do popular consumerist images of women affect women? One of the most worrying aspects is the idea of women as sexual objects - even to the point where young women feel pressurized to dress and act like (unpaid) prostitutes. I imagine that younger women today feel very threatened unless they conform to the unrealistic and false images portrayed by the media. Hence, so many opt for plastic surgery, breast enhancements, harsh diets (or...

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How would you feel if your spouse told you that they didn't love you anymore? Devastated. I am in that situation and finding it very difficult to move on - I mean, HOW? I'm trying but still feel I love him tho' it seems he doesn't love me. Perhaps its a question of time? I find my self-esteem has gone ssown the pan tho' and it's hard for me to see myself as the bright, attractive, creative woman I used to think I was. Rejected - that's the...

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Who out there loves there ex and has been... in a way abandoned by them for nothing it seems...?? share ure stories as i feeel the same xxx My husband cut me off physically suddenly about five years ago as a result of not being able to handle the emotional problems we were experiencing due to leaving our country and setting up abroad. We were together 28 years. I'm heartbroken and want to be back in his arms but there's no way he's going there. What did I do wrong? I've tried everything but I think he lacks the...

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On a city bus my wife asked if the bus took us to a certain location. A older woman on the bus gave us the answer in detail. My wife replied, "thank you dear." Another woman stated it was rude and in poor taste to call her "dear." Is it? No, dear! (Haha!)Some people find it too familiar to be addressed informally but since it was a third party who interjected and gave their uninvited opinion I would say it's they who were rude and in bad taste and I would have said so too. If the woman your wife was speaking to had no problems with it then there was no problem. Your wife was just being friendly and warm, some people are...

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Married for 18 years with two kids. Husband had an affair the last 4 years and had just ended it. Now he tells me we can't go on like this cos he don't love me anymore! He said if we divorce he would like to live together for the children? It's time you rescued yourself from this self-defeating situation. Divorce him, but tell him he can't have his cake and eat it. Make him leave and make sure you get maintenance from him. He can have access to the children but on your terms, not his. Do you want to go living a lie? You've been humiliated enough already!

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How can you move on when you have to end a relationship because of the other person's constant lies? Total head-confusion, because what seemed to be love can't have been if it was based on his lies... can it? You loved your own projection of who you thought that person was. Sure, based on lies etc., But no more real than an avatar in a game. Thank this experience for showing you how loving you are and how innocent and trusting. Mourn the loss of your dreams and the person you were before this happened, its part of your life's journey and you're at a different place now. Move forward with...

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What do you do if you find out someone you care about did something they told you they wouldn't and have done it more than once? They promised not to do it again after seeing how hurt you were when you found out. BTW: they're not good at keeping promises. Human nature means that we are who we are and sometimes with the best will in the world we can't change. Is the behaviour something that damages you or others, something you really can't live with? If so, then you need to move on. If not, maybe you just accept your S/O with all their warts and all. We all have to compromise in relationships.

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My Girlfriend had a nightmare about me raping her and now she can't kiss me or tell me she loves me anymore what can i do? Quite young... if you were her first sexual relationship it might be that she feels overwhelmed by her own emotions. Women get very emotionally involved once they're in a physical relationship, more than men do in general. I think what I said before still holds. Wait for her to contact you. Meanwhile, get on with your own life, you're young and should be having fun. Hang out with...

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My Girlfriend had a nightmare about me raping her and now she can't kiss me or tell me she loves me anymore what can i do? Is she/you young? Maybe she's not ready for a full sexual relationship yet. The dream seems to suggest that she feels she is forcing herself to go faster than she wants. It's not actually about you but about her own feelings. Respect these feeloings for they are real and back off a little. Tell her that you are there for her, that you care for her but all the moves must come from her....

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I can't stop obsessing over my ex and his new girlfriend. i stalk them both on facebook constantly. i have a busy life, but even after a night out i come home and the 1st thing i do is log on. dont wanna cancel acct, but how do i stop? it's killing me Block them. Then use your energy to do something positive for other people. Make a cake for a friend or neighbour, invite someone round for supper, knit a warm scarf for charity, volunteer to work evenings at your local theatre or hospice etc., In other words, stop tinking about yourself - 'cos, it is yourself and not them that you're thinking about. Your hurt feelings, your anger,...

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Are women really the choosers when it comes to men? Often its the case that the woman selects a mate from various 'contenders'. But sometimes, she will set her sights on a man and chase him but he isn't interested as she's not his type. So probably, on the whole a woman says yea or nay but it takes two in the end.

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I am wearing a Royal blue shirt with black trimm on the neck line with some black capris and black shoes. my accessories are also black. I just don't know what nail color would go with the outfit. HELP Brightest red you can find! Nothing like that total contrast to make a bold statement - a splash of pure red against the blue and the black will look sooooo cool and sexy! Go for it!

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I am looking for a recipe for Tuna Macaroni Salad. I remember the salad containing tuna, macaroni, onion, celery and salad dressing ( mayo?) I don't think there was any other ingredients. Sounds good! Just add a dash of tabasco if you like it a bit spicy, or some chopped black olives, a handful of chopped herbs such as coriander if you like? It's up to you to improvise.

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If the Jews are God's chosen people, who are Satan's? All those who don't believe in God.

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Girls where do you like guys to touch? My soul, then I'm his forever and ever...

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What is a Haiku? It's a Japanese form that usually contains seventeen syllables arranged over three lines, five, seven, five. There are actually various forms of haiku but that one is the most common and popular in the western world.

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Feelings of love grow more after having sex. If the sex is good then 'feel-good' hormones are created that make us feel high and happy and 'in-love', so yes, often feelings of love do grow after sex. But if sex is all it's about it can wear off pretty quickly too. Or, if the woman is seen as simply a conquest for the man then she may love him but he won't be interested at all.

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How am I related to my Dads cousin? and my dads cousin children? Your dad's cousin is your second cousin. The cousin's children are your second-cousin once removed.

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If my blood related uncle gets married to someone they have kids, but divorce is she still my aunty? or not? Yes. Your cousins are still your cousins, your uncle is your blood-uncle, she is your aunt. She and you may not have the same actual relatiosnhip any more, maybe she moves away, cuts herself off from the 'old' family but she is your aunt. However, her blood relatives will always come first in terms of her property etc., and I'm not sure if you would ever have any claim in the...

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Im in this weird transition stage. i moved back home from college and started a full time job and school at night. all of my friends live in other cities. i feel depressed when im alone but happy with friends. do i need to seek medical help for this? Oh, poor dear! Now I understand more about what's bothering you I really feel for you. So, all the things I said before PLUS a broken heart! That is a serious loss to you and he's been messing you around too, just as you were trying to move forward. Well, I'm sorry but you will have to feel the pain of this, there are no short-cuts - but, it will not last forever. Your situation...

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If people are really in love, would they want to share information about past loves? It's easy and natural when you're in love to wish to share yourself and your life with each other. However, sometimes, one has been hurt badly and doesn't feel ready to share details of past loves or maybe they feel it's disloyal etc., If information is freely offered then it should be respected and received for what it is, an act of trusting, confidential communication....

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Im in love with my ex. and he says he's still in love with me too. but he said he needs to work on himself before we get back together. he's got alot of problems. he doesn't really know who he isand i think hes manic depressive.. i dunno what to do. help? What makes you think you sgould do anything other than he asks? Let him be. If he's a manic-depressive you might be biting off more than yopu can chew anyway, do yhou want to be his nurse or his mate?

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Please answer: I want to change my name, I have two preferences; Allen & Adrian. Which one should I choose? Both are quite prosaic in my opinion. If you're going to choose a new name why not choose something that's really different, that reflects your personality? Both Allen and Adrian are totally forgettable, do you want to be remembered?

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I recently cared for a close friend after her surgery. In return she got me a $50 gift card to a store. I feel that this was unnecessary and I did what any friend would do. Is there a way I can graciously decline her gift? She must have felt grateful and if you feel she can afford this amount then why not accept graciously, buy something lovely and show her what you bought? Tell her she doesn't need to reward you for your friendship but that since she wished to then you're very touched by her kindness. And buy her some flowers one day, not immediately, but soon, to show that you think of her too, and...

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Im in this weird transition stage. i moved back home from college and started a full time job and school at night. all of my friends live in other cities. i feel depressed when im alone but happy with friends. do i need to seek medical help for this? No, not yet anyway. You said it yourself, this is a transition phase. So part of you already recognizes the problem, and you also realize it's a temporary thing. You're working, you're studying, you're probably meeting new people who will become good friends. If you're sleeping ok, appetite is good and you ahve someone you can talk to this phase will soon pass....

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My dad has been getting really bad tantrums like hes a teenager does any one know why this happens? If this is a new thing then he may have secret worries or if not, perhaps he needs a medical check to make sure his health is ok. If he's always been like this then he may need counselling as the cause might lie in his background, his childhood. Try talking to him when he's feeling valm and tell him you're a bit concerned about his mood swings, tell him you love him and want him...

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If you could fly where would you fly to New York to meet my friend, then drive with her to her new home in Newport, Rhode Island. I'm invited, may go, but a bit scared of flying so far (from the UK).

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I weighed 352 pounds on Feb19/08, I'm down to 218. My problem is I still feel huge. I'm going to lose another 20-25 pounds. How can I start thinking like a person who is in decent shape? Stop thinking of yourself as just a body. Stop thinking of yourself as being better or worse according to your weight. Start thinking of yourself as that uniwue, gorgeous, special person with your thoughts and sensibilities and dreams and hopes and disappointments and achievements (and what great achievements!) that you are. We eat to give ourselves health and energy, not to drown out our...

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What am I suppose to answer to get my personal slogan? Surely your personal slogan is just something you choose to live by, like, 'It's always darkest before the dawn', if you're an optimist for example?

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Comrades: killing time can not be reconciliated with our AB activities,can be? Time is a marvelous mystery, who would wish to murder her? Spending time is different, just make sure you're getting something in return for your investment.

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If you let a person get away with a crime you know the police would arrest him for, what do you think about after? If you let them go to only hurt someone esle in the future or do you stay positive believing that second chances changes people? We all have a duty to protect each other, that's what society is about. If a third party may be at risk we are not in the position to take that risk. Being a 'grass' is not nice but if possible harm has been done and may be done again why are you taking such a huge responsibility upon yourself?

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Whats the biggest lie you told? as a kid or adult I said, 'I don't tell lies'.

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Could one amongst AB friends feel my thoughts through this question: who are we? People of animosity, indifference or amicable hearts? We are all these things - that means you, too. Don't try to be perfect, we have a range of emotions, behaviours and thoughts. If we feel over-sensitive and lonely it's easy to feel that we are doing something wrong. I think I am feeling your thoughts, I hope so? It seems you're feeling a mixture of emotions and just longing for connection.

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Are the Airlines justified in asking someone who is so large they take up two seats (and require 2x the fuel) to pay for the use of two seats? Would you ask to be moved if you were in an adjacent seat? Yes. If you take up two seats pay for them, people have to pay for a young child for the same reason, only babes in arms go free. I would ask to move because I would feel cramped and planes are horribly cramped in the first place. It's not about being 'large' that's a choice thing usually, it's about fariness and comfort.

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Signs a guy is cheating or has a wandering eye? Guys and girls answer! Wandering eyes are only an indicatin of passing animal interest. Someone I know was having a serious affair for a while and he looked at everyone, ANYone - but her! So, guarded eyes could be a clue too. Cheating is different than looking. But if you suspect him, you're feeling insecure. Work on your own self-respect, like yourself more, be confident and he'll be unable to take his...

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Is it really anyone one persons fault in a relationship when one falls out of love? Or is it just a blame game from hurt emotions? Is it normal to feel guilty for falling out of love? It's normal to feel guilty if you're the one who falls out of love, not many people enjoy inflicting pain on others. It's easy to balme the other person for our failure to remain 'in love' - that way we lessen our own guilt. As to if its anyone's 'fault' - I think the fault lies with the one who had a romantic view of love and mistook true love for...

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I have a cousin that is due a month after me she has smokes marijuana the whole time shes been pregnant.Do you know of anyone who has has a baby takin away from them for the baby being born with marijuana in its system? Also important to consider is the effect on the child. I know someone who's baby has strange autistic symptoms and it makes me wonder since she did the same thing. Marijuana is a more serious drug than people realize - make your choice but leave the babies out of it! They don't ask to be conceived at least let them have the best gestation period possible?

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What do you think are the three most important changes that will have occurred on earth by 2050? No racism No sexism No politicians? I think the first two for definite but the last - well, that's more of a wish than a thought. So a third change: No real freedom. Sad, but probably true.

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"A kiss is just a kiss, and nothing more".. Is that true?? It really does depend. Upon the circumstances, place, time, event and above all the kissers themselves. For me a 'real' kiss is the biggest single turn-on I can think of... h'mmm... x

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Have you promised someone youd never do somthing and then you did it? Of course, we all do. If we put ourselves under pressure not to do something then we're almost bound to go and do it eventually. Better to accept ourselves with all our faults and that way we can accept that others are not perfect either.

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Do prostitutes ever 'enjoy' their clients, or is it always just an act? Interesting answer. There must be those who do enjoy their work but its a well-known fact that women can easily fake sexual response - even orgasm. (Ever see the film When Harry Met Sally?) A prostitute's job is to give the client a good time, he won't feel so good if he thinks he's not pleasing her too, will he? And the one you're talking about wanted you to come back,...

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If a child is abused over a long period of time and the parents don't notice, are they partially at fault? Not unless they suspected it was going on. Parents can try to encourage the child to communicate but an abused child is often withdrawn and untrusting as a result. It may be that the parents are worried about the child but simply don't understand why he/she is behaving as they do if the behaviour has changed. My own sister thought one of her children was difficult, stubborn, naughty and...

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Besides name-calling, what statements would a psychological abuser say to break someone's soul? Are you wondering if you're in an abusive relationship? If your soul feels broken its because it is - the words abusers use are not the main issue tho' they follow a pattern. What's important is how you feel. Trust your feelings.

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Can a woman pressure a man into sex? Are you thinking of something specific - like an excuse some man has made for being unfaithful? The problem here is that they're being pressured to do something they actually like, so, not difficult is it?

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A co-worker of mine acted like a friend to me and then went to the boss and told her a bunch of lies trying to get me fired. My boss hasn't contacted me about the situation.. should I contact her and tell my side of the story? I agree with the other answers, say nothing is the best policy. No need to defend yourself. Treat the whole thing as an exercise in spite and jealousy and speak to your colleague only if you have to. Treat her coolly and politely and don't get tempted to retaliate. If your boss ever does bring up this rubbish (and she proabably won't) simply say it is not true and leave it at that....

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What's your opinion on emotional rollercoasters in relationships? A good relationship shouldn't be based on such extremes - in fact its usually the comparison between the highs and lows that make you feel there any highs at all. A good relationship should offer sanctuary to both partners, a place to retreat from the insecurities and difficulties of the world, a place where there is mutual support and trust and the knowledge that you're safe....

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My boyfriend talks about his ex constantly, is this a red flag? When I met my husband he was the same (28 years ago) and at first I felt sympathetic and even a little envious as I felt it would be so good if he loved me as much as he'd loved her. He began to see more of me and I fell for him but 10 months later when I said I loved him he replied that he loved her! He even had a photo of her in his bedroom! And told me how good she used to be in bed!...

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Parents: what would you say if your son asked if there girlfriend could spend the night? When my sons were teenagers they used to want to do that but my husband said no. He said if they're old enough to want all the trappings of adulthood let them get their own place. I was more easy-going and would have allowed it, but maybe he was right after all? You may give out signals that say morality and commitment are not big issues - but they are, in the end. At the end of the day,...

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CAN I USE CANOLA OIL IN EAR FOR EAR ACHE As a person who suffered from recurring bone disease of the ear for many years I would have to say NEVER put any substance or object into your ears. Go to the doctor and let him see what's causing the problem. If it's minor he'll advise and if its a symptom of something more serious he can give yuou anti-biotics or other treatment. Our ears are precious, look after them.

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Is your life this time this year completely different from your life this time last year? Absolutely! Couldn't be more different. This time last year I was living in another country, walking by the sea every day, in love with someone I hoped to get together with. Now, I'm sadly dislillusioned by the 'love' and living in a small town, dismal weather, but still on reflection feeling stronger. Where will I be this time next year, I wonder?

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I am 27yrs,married.i have missed my periods this month.this is my 40th day of my last cycle.sometimes i have nausea feeling,pains in lower abdomen ,hip and sometimes back pain..give a clear answer.why should all these? Try a pregnancy test?

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Do you believe that you are a product of love? Why or why not? Definitely. I'm very lucky in that way as I think it makes a big difference to our lives. My dad was in the war and wanted a baby girl when it ended. I came along less than a year after his discharge and was born on the eve of his birthday! My mum was crazy about him, they were a very romantic couple till he died and she never forgot him until she died 32 years later!

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I bumped into my ex, he said to me at the time i thought it was for the best i dont know how you feel? would you take it that he still thinks its for the best or have some regret? we split up 9 months ago. WEll, how do you feel? It sounds as if he's regretful, sure, but also maybe didn't want to hurt you and is wondering if you've managed to move on. Were you together for a long time? If so, then nine months isn't so long, might just be part of your mutual journey. But you need to ask yourslef why you broke up in the first place. Sounds as if you two don't communicate...

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How do you think children learn to hate? Also, who do you think have more of an impression on young children (0-5) in regards to what and who to hate, their parents, other siblings or friends? Hate is an emotion and a response to hurt feelings. All of us learn our emotions in the cradle and certainly by the time we're two or three we've experienced them all. Love, fear, anger, hate, remorse etc., With such as trong emotion as hatred we are really talking about big pain iflicted emotionally on that child. Anger, even rage are expressions of frustration, powerlessness and...

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Why doesn't he love me? He's lucky having someone as devoted and loyal as you around. But it sounds as if he'd have so many (and has already!) psychological problems that he'd need therapy. Maybe you could advise him to get some therapy? If you do get him you'll be getting a whole lot of trouble too, I think. Be careful and maybe go out with someone else then at least he might feel a bit jealous?...

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How can I get over my one great love? Think of all the reasons you're not together. And realize that what feels like your greatest love so far is simply that - so far. We tend to grow in wisdom when we understand ourselves and we understand ourselves through our relationships. In this way, by accepting the lessons to be learned you will have an even greater love in the future as you will be bigger. And you will have learned...

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HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN SO IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. THAT YOU THINK ABOUT THEM 24/7, AND AFTER 2 YEARS STILL GET THE CHILLS WHEN THEY CALL. BUT THEY JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS... Sounds as if you're suffering obsession? He's not feeling the same as you and maybe he never will. When you're hooked on someone and it's one-sided then it stops you having a genuine relationship with someone else who would love you too. A lot of what you like about this person is probably based on your romantic projections - you're idealizing him. These feelings need...

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How do you forget someone you love? It's not easy but one day you will forget to remember them and suddenly realize - oh! it's been a while since I thought about so-and-so... Impossible to imagine when its still quite recent, I know. Even our most painful losses diminish over time and we're able to think of the lost loved one without suffering. It is the same whether someone dies or whether we break up with a loved...

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What are some songs to help a friend smile when they are feeling depressed and alone? 'You've Got A Friend' Carole King, I think? Oldie but definitely goldie, the words are perfect.

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I think my best friend's wife was misdiagnosed with depression. What's the difference in symptoms between iron deficient anemia and moderate depression? Could Iron and B12 deficient anemia lead to Depression or vica versa? What if your Thyroid is fine? Your friend could ask her doctor to give her a blood test, that way iron deficiency or thyroid problems would show up and be treated. If she has got depression it may be that you can suggest she sees a therapist. It's possible something has happened to trigger off a depression, a loss or even unresolved loss can precipitate such a reaction. Often the person who is depressed is unaware of...

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What harm is caused to an individual if he or she is deprived of an attachment bond in early childhood? It can make you feel insecure in yourself. As if something is missing and yet you can't find it in another person because they just can't give enough to fill that void. If you're lucky and find someone who is kind and nurturing and very loving then maybe you learn the trust and security you need. Ideally, we find it in ourselves first, but it's hard if its not already...

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Why do people get attached to other people? and how do you get over it and move on without letting the fear of losing them ruin u? We seek the closeness and trust we had (or wanted) with our mother. If we got secure attachment as an infant we will be secure as adults. If not, then we can be very afraid of letting go of someone we get attached to (separation anxiety) and feel we can't cope without them. We will not get 'ruined' if we learn to believe in ourselves and get love from others to support us, but...

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What is attachment psychology? It's about the formation of bonds that occur between a child and its mother up to the age of about three years. If a child is securely attached it will grow into a confident, secure adult able to make and keep good relationships. If the attachment is insecure due to maternal issues or separation then the child will grow into an insecure adult generally and have problematic relationships....

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Do you have matching picture frames in your living-room? Since every picture is individual the frame should also be a reflection of this and echo the mood of the image. It's in the juxtaposition of differences that you create harmony.

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Why do all higher forms of animals have males and females. Nature must have found this more efficient than a self reproducing type. What do you think? Maybe because 'higher forms' live longer Nature had to make reproduction more interesting/exciting or we'd all get bored and the species would cease to exist? All this cellular stuff is scientific fact, interesting and exact but ... let's face it, if we ain't hungry we don't eat and it's always more fun with two!

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Why do people see Africa as such a terrible place? People killing each other is pretty scary???

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If your partner was presented wth opportunity to do things with another female but never does would you be upset?She told him you can call me sometime or you can come to my pamper chef party she is married . I would take her on one side and simply say,'He tells me everything, you know. He told me you said he could call you - he thought it was amusing. I don't think it so funny, so back off lady or I'll tell your man what you said and see if he shares the joke!'

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Have you ever had anything stolen out of your vehicle during the holidays? Five years ago we were driving back to Spain after the Xmas holiday in the UK and we stopped for a quick break at a motorway cafe/petrol station. Ten minutes later we returned (just south of Valencia). They broke into the rear door and stole everything. Sadly, I had a lot of jewellery, presents for all my birthdays, anniversarys, Xmas's over 25 years and all our gear. My heart was broken...

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I'm six months pregnant. Why do I keep getting angry and upset as well as not feeling very excited about the baby? Am I a monster? Pregnancy can be difficult for many new mothers, you're not a monster, you're normal. Your hormones are different and your body and mind are making major adjustments. You're also mourning the loss of the 'old you', the pre-pregnancy, free woman in control of her own life and body. You're out of control now and you don't like it. Maybe your past experiences of...

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If you had to eat Indian food or Chinese food for the rest of your life, which one would you choose? Indian without a doubt! I love it!

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Which group sang (only you) without music I liked the Flying Pickets song, great. Was this what you were looking for? The Platters sang 'Only You' but a totally different song, I think it was the early sixties. Don't know if they actually had music tho'?

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John Lennon has been dead for 28 years or so and the Vatican now wants to forgive him for a remark he made in 1966. Have you ever heard of anything so stupid? I imagine its a good political move - 40th anniversary is bound to bring up such issues and do even more damage to the Vatican's image. Let's face it, Lennon was being flippant, also probably ironic as it was probably the truth! - at least as far as the young people of the time were concerned. Why would Lennon apologize - he meant it even if it was a joke?

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Why doesn't he love me? Love is a mysterious chemical reaction - we don't get it with everybody (thank goodness!)-but it's hard wehn one feels this magic and the other doesn't. You're left wondering 'why?' because your own feelings are so powerful it's hard to believe the other person isn't affected too. You really need to let him go. Imagine having a realtionship with someone...

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Today one of my co-workers told me that I was "useless'. I was very hurt because I am a hard worker and I trained her when she got hired. What should I do if she says that again? You are the only one who can tell yourself you're useless. Other people's opinions are not important. Tell yourself you're useful and good and don't rise to this stroppy ill-mannered person. She's just sounding off and must feel comfortable enough with you to dare to do that. You know the saying, 'Familiarity breeds contempt'? Try giving hewr a cold for a while.

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Do you know what it takes to love me? Sure, it takes love.

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Does HRH Queen Elizabeth II break wind? Her diet is probably of a quality that means it's less likely she needs to - but like all of us, there must be the odd occasion... She shits, that's for sure. Why not? Being Royal doesn't mena you're not human. God Save The Queen!

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How do you the divorce rate will be affected by this economic downturn? Will couples split because of arguments over finances or will they realize they need each other more than ever? There's an old saying, 'When poverty comes in through the door love flies out through the window'. Financail pressue is very stressful and stress can break people up. Losing a job and being forced to spend too much time together can have the same effect. Feeling angry and powerless as a result of having no money can affect realtionships negatively. The idea of romantic poverty is...

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Im 18 and my 16 year old girlfriend is pregnant, she is very emotional and has been calling me crying when im not with her. im worried im not doing enough for her but i really dont know how to let her know things will be alright any advice? You are both very young and need support to help you through this time. Do either of you have any family - would they be willing to help out, offer companionship etc.,? Other than that, there may be agencies that can offer advice and practical help.

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Is there anything that you regret doing in any part of your life? I try not to regret anything - like Edith Piaf. But there are things I wish I'd done differently, then again, hindsight is a wonderful thing. The worst one was moving away from my home and family seven years ago to live in an other country with my husband. It ruined our relationship (or brought things to a head?) and made me an outsider with the family. Very sad and hard not to have...

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How can one speed up the healing of many little cuts on the fingers? perhaps spray with that 'artificial skin' product that forms a barrier and keeps cuts clean?

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Can a male dog attach (tie) to a female dog if the male dog is fixed? Yes. They respond instinctively to the female hormones when she is in heat. But they tend to be a bit less interested in chasing after a bitch - if she's there in his territory the chances are he may get interested sometimes.

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In person-centred counselling, could someone please tell me if someone is thinking can they be feeling at the same time and where would empathy go? We can actually be thinking and feeling at the same time but sometimes we tend to rationalize in an attempt to escape our (painful) feelings. A person-centred therapist would be empathic and try to connect with the feeling behind the rational thought processes expressed as a defence. But with advanced empathy, the therapist would also be aware of the client's defences and sensitive - not...

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I'm trying to get a clear consise definition of "Humanistic Psychology" but can't seem to get one... any help out there? Humanistic Psychology is dealing with our understanding in a non-denominational or religious way. That is, the 'here and now' rather than thinking in mystical terms about original sin etc., Try reading a couple of basic books such as you will find in the Psychology section of your library.

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Should i mention this in my apology or would it be scary? i had gone for some counselling sessions to overcome insecurity issues i have in relationships and to build confidence. is it ok to mention this is an apology to the person i crowded in the past? If your behaviour was bad enough to harm this person and you feel a need to apologize then fine, and to say that you realized you needed help and sought it is also fine. But most important is to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, be grateful even for your negative experiences for what they have taught you and move on. If by 'scary' you're worried the person might think...

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Norbert Elias argues that dying has become a "lonely experience". Agree / disagree and why? We're born alone and we die alone. But he's probably referring to the way death has become 'sterilized' and taken out of the hands of the family, set apart, 'managed' by health authorities and treated as if it is basically an unpleasant inconvenience. The truth is we all die, yet less people are prepared either for death itself or to acknowledge its existence....

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What's the most unhelpful thing a therapist has said to you? I've only had positive experiences in therapy tho' they didn't always feel like that at the time. It's a process and we need to stick with it until we're really in touch with ourselves. Therapy can help us to become who we truly are and that's a marvelous thing. It's important to check the credentials and experience of your therapist and make sure they're...

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Concerning the human condition,how is instilling the feeling of guilt of any benefit to anyone? I'm not sure what you mean by 'instilling' - do you mean the teaching of right and wrong based upon religious principles? Or purely humanitarian? If the latter then we need to know about consequences of our actions, and if we fall short of our goals and harm others then why shouldn't we fee guilty? Sociopaths don't feel guilt, they have no conscience - that's the...

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When somebody tells you (in a reasonable manner) that you've upset them; do you fly off the handle or evaluate the situation and talk it out? If someone has a genuine grievance and is not just criticizing me then I try to respect them and see their point of view. It does make it much easier to communicate - even negatives - when someone is respectful and calm towards us.

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What are your favorite literary works by a Russian author? 'Crime and Punishment' Doestoevsky - a very thought-provoking book, timeless and gripping.

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What is the different when a man cheats on a woman and woman cheats on a man.how does the world look at it. In my experience, though it's not fair or equal men tend to be viewed more indulgently, like it's 'expected' of them to err. When a woman does it she's a slag etc., and the male partner gets oodles of sympathy.

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I am doing this as a test on my abilities to read psychically .Type in the first thing that comes to your mind. Within three words...GO (ITS FREE) Who is this???

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Best ways to make sure your houseplants will be happy? Talk to them. Really! But tell the truth. If you're fed up with them tell them to get moving or you'll throw them out! If you feel sorry for them, give them sympathy and kindness, move them around, make them comfortable, feed and water them. If you love them make sure to tell them, keep them in warm, pleasant, light conditions, clean their leaves, re-pot them etc., Treat tehm like...

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What song is stuck in your head right now? The Tennessee Waltz.

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Why does my ex keep me hanging on - even though he doesn't want me? (believe me I'm fully aware I am allowing myself to get hurt - hope he will change his mind..all that *&^%$ but why does he keep me hanging on? It could be fear, he might fear being alone. He might fear losing your love even if he no longer loves you. It could be about power. It could be a bit like leaving home when you're young, insecure, afraid of the unknown etc., Let him go. You will find someone who really loves you but first you need to be free of the excess baggage - cut loose.

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Whats the worst thing about your life? That I have no S/O and feel I never will. My self-esteem has suffered as a result of an abusive relationship with my husband. I held on too long, wasted too much time and now I feel too old to attract the kind of guy I would wish to meet. How does one accept loneliness? I try to socialize etc., but there are too many times when I feel a deep loneliness.

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If there was a soundtrack for your life, who would you hire to write it? Bob Dylan for sure. I resonate with all his songs so I'm sure he'd be the man for the job.

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At this moment in time, what expression do you have on your face? A slight smile as I read all the other answers and they (almost all) amused me - especially Roselynn's about the kid Andy. Kids always make me smile. Before I read the answers I had an interested expression of concentration and contentment as I love answering unusual/interesting questions and yours grabbed my attention! Thanks.

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Is it okay for grandparents to discipline their grandchildren? How? I find my grandkids take notice when I tell them 'No!' firmly. They are even taken aback and surprised as I'm usually more tolerant than their parents are. (That's what happens when we don't have to keep them all the time!) I only get firm if they're being really silly or doing something that could hurt them or someone else. I tend to give them choices like,...

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What is the biggest number you know? a 'google' but I can't remember exactly what that is, but its in the trillions.

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What inspires you to write your poetry? Love, loss, passionate feelings about someone or something. Nature, mountains, sea and so on. I mostly write to express my emotions as I find it difficult to put into verbal terms the depth of my feelings sometimes. Look at my web-site if you wnat to read a poem that won a world-wide competition in Philadelphia 2004 - Grand Prize of $20,000! http://www.freewebs.com/katpoet

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I have a guy friend who doesn't ever seem to be interested in anything i say. (just says oh ok) & doesn't like me asking him questions. i want to be a good friend 2 him but im always discouraged. what should i do? plz dont tell me he's not worth it or wtv This guy isn't sufficiently interested in you for one reason or another. Why hurt yourself? And why adapt yourself to him by trying to be interested in things he likes? If you find someone else who really likes you, shares your interests and wants to talk with you then you will feel much happier. You've projected qualities onto this guy that he doesn't possess, your relationship...

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Ladies: How important is respect to you? It is vital and paramount. When you're not treated with respect yoiu feel huniliated and no one should have the right to inflict humiliation on another person.

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There are mandatory evacuations happening right now in New Orleans due to Hurricane Gustav; the highways are bumper to bumper. Where are all of those people going? If you have no where to go (friends or family), where does the government expect you to go? I guess it's a complete nightmare and much more difficult for some than others but if there are shelters and voluntary organizations maybe people can find help until the worst is over. I really pity the poor people who have to excape then return to find everyhitng they own destroyed anyway. We should all be grateful if we live in easier places and let's not forget to send some loving...

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Has anyone ever told you that you were too serious? Yes, my husband from whom I am now separated. But I think he made me feel so depressed I lost my sense of humour and he never even picked up on it when I was trying to be funny. My friends know that I am serious but also capable of just having a mad time. It's important not to take everything too seriously, a sense of humour can help your immune system. (She says in a serious tone! ha-ha!)

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I really hurt him by breaking up with him. i did so because i didnt love him and thought it would be best for him. I had no idea how empty i would feel and how much i would miss him? is this love? and is it fair to him to try and get back with him? It wouldn't be fair to go back since if you didn't love him before why would you now? You miss him, that's natural. Get on with your life and the emptiness will go away, there's always a sense of loss when something ends, that's natural. Give him space and time and let him fins someone who does love him.

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What does it means when my ex girlfriend tries to be friends with the girl I am currently dating? She still wants to be close to you and thinks that if she gets close to your girlfriend she's in a better position. Also, it might mean that she feels a bit jealous and by getting to know the real person her jealous imaginings will fade away. Did you finish with her? If so, I guess she's not over you yet.

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Why do you love that person who don't even care for you? Because I recognize his deeper qualities and hope that one day he will realize what I am offering. True love is quite rare, I think and not everyone experiences it. It's not a selfish thing and it's unconditional and can be very painful to love and not have it returned, but it's hard not to love if you really do.

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What would be the perfect treatment of you in a relationship with your s/o? I'd like my S/O to notice when I'm feeling sad or lonely and to share his feelings with me, too. I'd like him to be spontaneous, surprise me with special outings, little gifts from time to time and to make the effort to look into my eyes and really communicate.

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I am married. Emotionaly, I don't get what I need from my wife. I met a girl, she is so lovely. I'ts not even about sex. Its just when I see her I get butterflys, and my heart races. Is it wrong for me to spend time whith her, just to hang out? Because you feel lonely and unfulfilled in your marriage you are vulnerable to outside influences. What you are experiencing is natural attraction because you are not properly connected to your wife. Talk to your wife and tell her your needs, ask her what hers are and share your feelings (not necessarily about this other woman). Ask her to go to relationship counselling with you, maybe you can...

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Do you "believe" in love? Completely and absolutely and it's not always reciprocal or easy.

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I'm not trying to be offensive but does anyone else think sitting around playing the harp all day would get kind of boring after a while? (I believe in God but you have to admit Heaven does not sound very exciting...) Jesus said that the Kingdom of Heaven (or God?) is within you. Isn't that true? And what greater Hell is there than the ones we create for ourselves? Maybe our concepts of Heaven and Hell are just metaphorical explanations for something we can't imagine? If our concsiousness survives our mortal frame then perhaps our thoughts - which are, after all, pure energy - determine our...

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How do you tell if a man is a "hustler"? Since understanding what you mean by 'hustler' (thanks for the definitions!) then I think if he is charming but often forgets his wallet, or tries to get you to back him in business, lend him money or buy him expensive presents then you should be on red alert. Try telling him you've lost a lot of money due to bad investments, or you've taken out a big loan to pay off...

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Can two people who are opposites love each other and have a successful relationship? For example, she likes the city life and technology.. and he likes the beach and simplicity. Only if both parties recognize the need to respect each other's differences and accommodate them without trying to take over and prevent separate interests. It is hard to be with someone very different and you need to try to find common ground and develop that more if its to work in the long term.

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Has anyone ever had a bad or frightening experience playing with a Ouija board? If so, please relate. I had a very frightening experience when I was much younger. The ouija board told me I was pregnant (which I was by only a few weeks and didn't know at the time!). But then it told me I would die in childbirth and I spent the next nine months unable to sleep properly and the childbirth experience was filled with terror for me. I was stupid but young and impressionable. I actually got...

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Serious question.what body language signs sholud i look out for in a guy that i feel fancies me!!!!!!! He'll be aware of you, glance at you a lot, make lasting eye contact, turn his shoulders in your direction, sit with his legs open and facing your direction, shift his shirt cuffs around his wrists etc., But if you fancy him why not ask him out?

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If someone is being lied to in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship can that person be sued for causing emotional distress? It ought to be possible as lies can cause so much pain and suffering. YOu might get a lawyer to do a test case but since such cases seemed to vanish with the Victorians (breach of promise was a favouritie of theirs) then its unlikely you'll succeed. I guess you feel angry and hurt. Move on, it's important not to dwell on negatives if you want to be happy. The person who lied...

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If a woman has sex with a guy on the 2nd date, and they develop a relationship that lasts five years? What do you think was the base of their relationship? Sex or Love? Sex is a powerful energy and the physical attractio was strong. But that high only lasts for a certain amount of time, up to three years so they must have bonded and developed love for each other. Love, as opposed to 'being in love' is very different and less reliant on the chemical changes that sex gives you.

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What is up when someone is always tell you..you do not trust me? Maybe they don't trust you? Sometimes we project our own negative beliefs onto other people. Try discussing trust issues and work out what you really wnat /expect from each other.

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My boyfriend is out of work and I have helped him buy groceries (for kids) and pay his mortgage; I hope he would do the same for me. But when we argue,he brings it up ($). Is he trying to make me feel bad because he feels bad? He isn't 'trying' to make you feel bad. He just feels less of a man. Try to help him get his self-esteem back in subtle ways so he starts to feel worthwhile even if he's not working. Maybe you can ask him to help out in some way and tell him how much you value his contributions? It's hard being on the receiving end of what he may see as 'hand-outs' as he feels...

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How do you tell if a man is a "hustler"? Please define 'hustler' as it can mean different things to different people. 'Lady hustler' - not quite sure waht you mean, sorry?

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Anybody: Dose your sun sign really matter in a relationship? If you believe in astrology it matters very much and there may be something in it, who knows? What matters more is basic compatibility and mutual respect. Just find someone you really like and vice-versa, if your signs are good together then even better maybe, but if you don't get on it is probably just personalities.

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Why is it that everytime we have a discussion or a fight my boyfriend calls me scum bag?I cannot cope anymore and I do not know how to defend myself. Leave him. He's not capable of expressing himself or even of realizing that you feel so bad about his attitude. You cant cope anymore? You don't know how to defend yourself? Sounds as if you're losing your self-respect girl. You can't cope because you can't and don't want to sink to his level. Get your self-esteem back by telling him coolly and calmly that...

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What does it mean if your boyfriend is always looking at other women and likes to watch porn more than usual? Yeah, I agree with the other answers here. It's natural for a young (or even older!) man to be interested in women and sex but most men have the manners not to do it in front of their S/O. Have you told him that you don't like it? Maybe if he knew you felt uneasy he would change his behaviour. But, in the long run if he's just into sex he'll stray sooner or later.

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What type of food is haloumi? Its a cheese(Cypriot)and it is delicious char-grilled and served with a salad of fresh green leaves, char-grilled courgettes and red peppers, onions and tomatoes. Its consistency is a bit 'rubbery' but if you start liking it you end up craving it! I do, anyway, I love it!

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What do you do when your tired of it all? It depends on how long you've felt like this, what your situation is, how old you are and whether you have the courage/willpower to change 'it', what ever 'it' is. Give me a little more information if you'd like a fuller answer. Meanwhile, I hope its a passing thing, we all get down from time to time and it feels bad when we're down. But nothing lasts forever,...

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What are the signs someone wants to break up with you? I agree with luna - those are definitely signs. And when someone finds irritating what they used to find amusing, criticizes you all the time, doesn't pay compliments even when you've made a special effort, ignores you when in company, prefers tv (or any activity) to being alone with you etc., If you're looking for/receiving 'signs' then maybe you should take the bull...

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The lovely SWEETCAKES has just made GURU!!!! who would like to come to her party?? congratulations sweetie!!!! Hey you guru you! (You always were, anyway, to me! lol x) CONGRATULATIONS, you clever girl! Big hugs (((x))))

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AB is very quite this morning what do you think is the reason for this? Maybe it's too hot? It is where I am - Southern Spain, almost 40 by mid-day!

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Have you ever slept with your ex later after you broke up without trying to patch the relationship? Yes, when I was a lot younger and we both just felt 'horny', so we got it together after a lunch date. Neither of us even considered getting back as a couple but we hadn't found anyone new so we were familiar and comfortable together, sexually. It only happened the once tho' as somehow, it didn't feel right afterwards.

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What would be more memorable for you, a compliment from a stranger, or an insult from a friend? Since I don't really care what strangers think of me then I wouldn't be too put out by an insult from someone who doesn't know me, I'd put it down to bad manners, loutishness etc., But,as I'm a sensitive soul I care very much about my friends and would feel very hurt and shocked if one insulted me. Luckily, this hasn't happened so far, so it would be pretty memorable!

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Many people go throught life without finding a 'significant other'.....many people do, several in fact....who do you think in general, lead happier lives? I'm alone after being in an unhappy marriage for many years. At first I felt even worse, grief-stricken and displaced. But now (almost a year later) I've begun to feel much more whole being by myself. My friends come to see me, not to see my husband competing/taking over and even bickering with me! I come and go as I please, eat what and when I like, go to bed and get up when I choose...

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What's more important in the animal kingdom.....good camouflage, or being able to run 'really fast'? Good camouflage every time. A leopard is pretty fast but you can't see them when they're lying in wait on the brach of a tree. The element of surprise is crucial in their attack on their prey - its not just a question of outrunning each other. And look at us humans - we certainly 'camouflage' ourselves! Who would dream we're as dangerous as we are?

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What about if that one person you had so much love before and had all these good crazy feelings for him have changed due to situations or circumstances we have been in our marriage, what do i do? SAdly, life knocks us all about a bit. It depends what you've been through and whether you still love each other. You need to talk openly and admit where you might have gone wrong - if you feel you have. Maybe relationship counselling can help? Or, perhaps you should get away somwhere nice togeter - second honeymoon?

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I am a 40yr old housewife, Every Friday night I visit nightclubs with my friend to pick up young black men, we then go to her house with these men for sex before I go home to my husband. I adore the sex but I need it more and more, how can I stop? You're playing a dangerous game and being unfaithful to your husband. How would you feel if he did the same thing every Friday night? Sounds as if you're bored with your regular sex life, maybe you should try spicing that up a bit rather than playing out of school? Its not the sex itself you're craving but the excitement of the forbidden/unknown/dangerous. Take up a dangerous...

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When a friend hurts you, how do you not fight back, and lash out at them? If they do it often then you need to ask them what is going on. If they hurt you accidentally then you can just say that you're hurt straight away and give them the chance to apologize. Real friends don't intend to hurt each other, but sometimes people get envious and then they might say something spiteful. If you generally enjoy the company of this person then maybe point out the...

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What can I do about an acquaintance who talks incessantly? I don't want to spend time with her, and I want a tactful way of telling her the 30 minute monologue isn't going to work for me. Before I get ambushed again. My guess is that she thinks of you as a god listener and would be very shocked and hurt if you told her how you feel. The next time she starts simply say, 'Just a minute! I know you need to talk but sometimes its hard for me to really pay proper attention because you say so much at once. Why don't we take one thing at a time and see how that works?' Of course, you might not like...

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If a friend lied, and you feel you need to end the friendship, is it fair / proper to explain why, or is just ending it enough? I would feel better if someone told me why they wanted to end their relationship with me, at least it would give me the chance to apologize or try to put things right. If you feel you really can't continue the friendship because your trust is broken then explain this and say that you are sorry its over, but that you just don't feel that you share the same values. No need to argue,...

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I'm having problems with my best friend. He asks a loooot of questions & tries to get out as much details as possible about everything. Now there are some matters about which I don't want to tell him but he gets offended at that. What can I do? You must make your boundaries clear. Tell him assertively (not aggressively) that he is your best friend and you appreciate him and like sharing your life and interests with him. But say that there arer some things you need to keep private and that you would appreciate it if he respected that. Tell him when you say no, you mean it. If he doesn't like this thne maybe you need to see some...

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How do you correctly say this sentence using the past perfect tense? "By the time that Tomas Edison discovered the power of electricity and its possibilities, the world had lived without those things that are natural for us." Before Thomas Edison discovered the power of electricity and its possibilities, the world survived without the things we now take for granted. Or, The world survived without the things we think of as natural before Thomas Edison discovered electricity and its possibilities.

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Why dont asian men like latinas? my boyfriends parents dont like me.. iam dominican brazilian ... can some one help i posted up a question someone help me!!! If you have an Asian boyfriend there's at least one Asian man who does like you! You're not having a relationship with his parents. Perhaps they're religious and traditional and want him to marry someone of his own kind for that reason? You need to show an interest in their culture and show respect for it and them too. If you and your boyfriend are serious about each other they...

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Baby names. i need help. i need names. please help? I like multi-syllabic names as they offer variety and also look imressive on applicatin forms etc., in adult life. Theodore for a boy, Theo sounds nice as a shortened version. Joshua - Josh, William - Wills, Wil, Billy etc., For girls, Katriona - Kat, Katie, Kate etc., Leonora - Leo, Isabella - Izzy, Bella etc., Choose something classical but different, something with a bit of taste.

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Is it wrong to still having your 4 year old Brest feeding No, it's not wrong. But for me personally, once they've got teeth they have to get on with it without mummy! One of my friends breast-fed her child until she was almost eight - only at night and when she didn't feel well by then, but I thought it unhealthily close as it is too dependant at an advanced age. We all have different views but we need to keep our children more or less...

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What do you think is the right time for a 3 year old girl to go to bed? I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to kids. At that age they still need at least twelve hours sleep. I always put my kids to bed atound 6.30 - 7 pm at that age and it worked well for all of us. They were sweet-tempered, didn't need to be shaken awake in the morning and I could enjoy some 'me' time before bed-time. It's good to get into a routine as later they will...

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Where would I be, without your arms around me? Nowhere, and anywhere's a better place to be! Stay safe, babe, I'll put my arms around you any time you like.

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In what year will your birthday be on a Friday? And how long until it's on a Friday again? This year! TODAY! And strangely, it's the day I was born too. Can't work out when it comes around again, leap years make a difference don't they?

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What one word sums up your college experience? Exciting!

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Which song is your anthem? 'Crazy' by Patsy Cline. The story of my life!

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Have you ever had lower back pain? What helped it? I suffered just this for many years, it could even lay me down for four days at a time, unable hardly to turn over or get up to go to the lavatory. Then I read a book, 'You Can Heal Your Own Back' (I think that's it?) - basically it explained how to keep a lordosis in the spine, whether walking or sitting. This means maintaining that curve in the spine like a child does, observe...

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If your 8-year-old self visited you today - what would he or she think about what you had become? She'd be completely awe-struck! She always had big ideas but not really big expectations, so she'd be pretty amazed and excited to see what I've achieved over the intervening years (quite a lot of them!), even allowing for the negative bits.

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How will you want your friends and family to remember you? That I gave them love.

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Would you rat out your own friend if he/she committed something immoral? No but I would tell my friend I found the behaviour objectionable, if I did. If my friend didn't care about my feelings then maybe I'd have to think twice if this was the right friend for me.

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How can I find myself once again? I seem to have lost touch to my true self? We can develop a 'false' Self by trying to gain the approval of others and adapting ourselves in order not to risk feeling rejected. This begins in childhood, especially if your parents are critical and demanding, expecting you to behave and even 'be' better/different than you really are. Up to a certain point we all do still have a 'false' self - we have to be...

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What do you think of people who only pretend to be your friend? Think about it... have you ever done it? No, I've never done this tho' it has been my experience on a couple of occasions to have experienced 'false' friends. I was quite a bit younger and maybe less discriminating. I always get back what I give these days and my friends are wonderful and genuine.

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What's the earliest memories that you have when being an infant? Are they to vague to be clear? How old were you? Actually, I remember being just under two years old and reaching up on tiptoe to push my baby sister's pram. My mother came and lifted me onto the pram and pushed us off down the road. I also remember very clearly being hospitalized at the age of two and a half, I recall all the details of the ward, even the little boy Paul who was in the cot opposite to me. They say that the longer your...

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Do you think it really made a difference when my father changed our last name from O'Looney to Looney..What the? No, he was obviously always a bit of a Looney, wasn't he? He ought to have dropped the O and put a C infront then he might be mistaken for Gorgeous George!

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Whats something that used to matter to you, but doesn't matter to you anymore? Other people's opinions of me. I no longer worry about what people think of me, I prefer to be myself and be true to myself rahter than adapt to what I perceive as others' expectations/approval. I'm much happier for this too.

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Wheres the easy way out!!!!!!!!!? There is no easy way out. The easiest way might just be to accept that life is filled with ups and downs, unexpected twists of fortune - both good and ill and that acceptance and love are the simplest ways of dealing with it. Maybe if we re-adjust our expectations we find things easier too? For, after all, why should we expect anything? Just look at all the good things you have, look at all teh...

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It's not a problem here, but in the US, should McDonalds pay health insurance for obese regular customers? Keeping in mind that my sympathy is always for the individual over the corporation. No. My sympathy is for the power of reason over gluttony. Most people who make McDonald's and similar fast-food outlets the source of their staple diet are simply lazy and greedy. Obesity is rarely a medical symptom so thes people ought to wise up. I quite like the idea of a bit of junk food occasionally but I choose not to indulge my foolishness - that's why I stay slim and healthy....

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How about a show titled 'Desparate Husbands'? It might be funny but it wouldn't necessarily be convincing, 'desperate husbands' are a much rarer species than Desperate Wives! Ha-ha!

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The thrill is gone....but you're comfortable with each other....is it enough? So long as you're both comfortable and n ot just bored. Or one is comfortable and the other frustrated and restless? It's nice to be together if you love each other, sex and all that chemical attraction thing changes after the initial 'rush' - we can't maintain such chemical highs and real life has to go on. Love's the main thing. And romance makes up for a lot too!

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Why do men fantasize about watching two women? Men are visual when it comes to sex so the fantasy of watching is quite common, it takes responsibility away from them, they don't have to 'do' anything yet they can enjoy the spectacle. Of course, if they get turned on if the fantasy comes true then they might want to join in too. Personally, I think fantasies should stay like that - just fantasies. When we act them out we risk...

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Recently broke up with my GF who had an affair. Is it normal to feel that some days I miss her tremendously and want her back and other days I feel absolute hate and disgust for her and wish only bad things for her? Very normal indeed. We tend to go up and down a bit when we suffer loss as many complex emotions are involved. Of course you miss her but you no longer want to be with her as you don't trust her. But the love you felt doesn't just go away overnight, it takes time to dissolve. So you're hurt and that pain makes you feel angry and hateful towards her as she is the one who hurt you....

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My girlfriend is pregnant and we have only been togeather for 3 months... but she doesnt want it and is getting rid of it. I want it but she already has one to another guy... she also said I dont know what it is to be a father or have a child of my own. Your relationship is very young and maybe not strong enough to bring another child into the equation. Your girlfriend is entitled to choose for herself and though you may feel that you'd like this baby she is right when she says you don't know what its like to be a father etc., She means that you can have no idea of the huge responsibility and the demands made of you when you're...

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The most magnificent, selfless thing one human can do for another, without a doubt? Sacrifice their life in order to save another.

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What makes a person charismatic exactly? Charisma is fairly indefinable, for a person can be possessed of beauty, confidence and have a good personality but may lack charisma. A charismatic person may be not especially beautiful or have obvious advantages but they will have a certain quality that seems to come from their soul, rather than their physical/mental self. Maybe it's self-belief? Hitler was said to possess charisma -...

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Who do you know in real life who is good at weeding out jerks? Me! I feel like sweetcakes, I guess. It's pure intuition sometimes, but sometimes it's just a matter of observation. If someone is a pain then I avoid them, and if I can't (like my brother, for example!)then I try to tolerate him.

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How do I know when what someone says is supposed to be taken in jest? It often depends on the context or situation. Personally, I tend to decide for myself whether something is amusing or not, I respond with humour if I see the funny side of things. If someone is actually trying to put me down but tries to pass it off as merely jesting then I might say something like, 'Let's have rule. If you want to make me laugh say something funny!'

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"Truth never hurts the teller." Robert Browning What is your interpretation? I've been thinking about this question and also wonder if there is another interpretation. (see my first answer) They say that 'the truth always hurts'. Was Browning thinking along these lines when he said the above? Did he mean that the truth does hurt but doesn't hurt the teller? Interesting question and I like questions that make me think a bit. Thanks.

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Is the greatest risk - not taking any? Yes. If you take no risks because you are fearful, maybe of flying, travel, meeting new people, seeing new places, etc., then you are resisting natural change and growth. The risk for the individual is that they become narrow-minded, limited and even depressed. Life itself is a risk but trying to maintain safety at all costs is the greatest risk of all. You risk living a half-life and wasting...

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Is it true a great mind is a terrible thing to waste? Of course, but I agree with the others here, a person possessed of such a gift has little choice but to use it - they certainly wouldn't elect to neglect it, I'm sure. There are sometimes cases where we perceive that someone has potential they're not fulfilling. This might be due to a lack of confidence or circumstance or maybe just apathy. Would they be classed as having...

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Language defines our culture and society lifestyle etc. The boundaries of word definition are expanding this can can be seen through wikedpedia etc. If we redefine our language then we do change our culture and social lifestyles? Yes, we can and do change our culture and therefore our lifestyle by changing/redefining our language. When modern youth inverts the meaning of words they in effect create a sub-language for their sub-culture. e.g 'wicked', 'bad', 'evil' all meaning the opposite. In this way they separate themselves, reject the old, rebel against current norms and mores and...

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When it comes to the concept of having a "legacy" how do you think of it? My goal in life as to a legacy is to have influenced enough people in a good way that I will be talked about 100 years from now in a positive way. I am proud to have four grandchildren and they are my best legacy. However, on a more personal level I would love to think my poetry got published and someone read it and it moved them 100 years from now. I don't crave fame or want to be talked about tho', they're not the important things.

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Could there be various [planes of Being] beyond our knowing? Of course. 'Now we see as but through a glass, darkly. Then, we shall see everything'. It's a quote from the Bible (Corinthians? not sure). I think of dust motes, how they swirl in a miniature universe of their own - mere visible atoms - but we're all made of the same atoms. What of microscopic organisms/universes? Further, so infinitely small we can't even detect them....

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Does anyone really believe in the ability of Humans to heal each on a sentient level Jesus was human and he healed with the laying on of hands. And don't forget the story of the woman who only touched the hem of his garment and straight way she was healed. I believe we have capabilities beyond our understanding and that some people can indeed heal others on a sentient level.

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Many people seem to be proud of the fact that they "live in the moment". If the moment is a bad or painful one, you could therefore be temporarily and completely focused on negative feelings--is this still a good philosophy? If the moment is 'bad' or 'difficult' remember it is still only our thinking that makes it so - unless of course its physical, but even then your mind can help you transcend it. Living in the moment means paying close attention to what's REALLY happening NOW. If what's really happening is we're telling ourselves that this is unbearable, we're afraid,...

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Ok im fourteen and i am having a hard time right now my mom said she will let me be homeschooled if i want to but i dont know i have been homeschooled for about 2 years and now i am going in to highschool i dont know if i should be homeschooled or public? It is probably better for your social development and confidence to go to a public school and integrate, otherwise you may always feel left out and unable to mix properly with your peers. Think of the fun and interesting differences you might find, and the difficult situations/people you will learn to deal with.

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Is it possible to do a truly altruistic deed? I agree with your first answerer up to a point. But, some humans are more altruistic than others, and even when something is painful, distressing etc., then they will continue to 'sacrifice' themselves for the good of others. Is this because we are programmed for survival and others' survival is part of this since we're all connected? I have sometimes done things for others...

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I have cancer. im 17 years old. how do you tell your friend? i want them to treat me the same. You don't say what type of cancer you have and what your prognosis is. In order to help you to find the right way to tell people I might be better placed if I knew your situation a bit more. You may need all the love and support you can get no matter what the outcome. And, as a witness to my sister, and several close friends going through cancer and treatment etc., I know that when you...

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My husband was looking at porn. I was mad because he tried to hide it-I want to watch some with him but he is full of a lot of shame. Is there a way that I can help him open up out of his shell? I am not shy at all with him and it hurts that TReat him to a sexy dinner one evening, candles, nice music, wear something sexy then say, guess what we're having for pudding? and put a nice drink in his hand then put on a really horny, erotic movie. Sit real close to him and wait for the reaction (and the action!)No need to make a big thing out of his porn interest, no need to talk about it or anything, just show him in other ways that...

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If you come across anyone who thinks the Humanities are boring, what would you tell them in order to convince them that it's actually a worthy and interesting subject? No, not if they're not interested. Everyone is different and we can't all like the same thngs. Express your own interest and leave it at that or you may become the bore!

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If you come across anyone who thinks the Humanities are boring, what would you tell them in order to convince them that it's actually a worthy and interesting subject? No, not if they're not interested. Everyone is different and we need to respect this. I would maybe express how interesting the humanities are FOR ME and leave it at that. Sometimes one's enthusiasm can be infectious, but if not then back off or you will become the boring one, not your subject area!

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Excluding your own countrymen/women, which literary person do you most enjoy and admire? Khalid Hosseini, author of The Kite-Runner and a Thousand Splendid Suns.

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"Truth never hurts the teller." Robert Browning What is your interpretation? It depends upon the context. Was Browning speaking politically? He was quite a political man although he was a poet. First define 'the Truth'. If he meant that we shouldn't lie for gain or manipulation or deceive anyone but speak with purity then fine, I agree with that. That is my interpretation of what he said. To speak truthfully, from my centre, about myself - not about...

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Would you agree or disagree with this Oscar Wilde assertion: 'There is only one thing worse than being talked about - and that is, not being talked about'. Oscar Wilde was an extroverted and 'loud' personality, so for him it was his way of cocking a snook aty public opinion - which in general was against him. It was said in a spirit of rebellion and defiance. I don't need to feel like that. I couldn't care less whether or not people talk about me, other people's opinion of me is none of my business!

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How do you define yourself, from your self worth,and inner seeking, or the perception of what you think others have of you? My self-worth and inner seeking. I sometimes struggle with my image of myself as worthy etc., but that's because I've allowed negative perceptions of myself to creep in based on someone's perceived rejection etc., It's best to treat others with the respect and love you wish to receive, we are all mirrors. But at the same time, it's best to seek within for a genuine...

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Looking for a term - what do you call the brief quote that sometimes precedes a chapter? Epigram?

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If there were an interenational ban prohibiting writing about love AND nature, what would all the poets do? No true poet would ever conform to such a sweeping ban. S/he would continue to write about what moved her/him - but in secret, probably. They might write about repression and death, they might write about the future and the alienation from the human soul that would inevitably ensue. They would write about sadness and pain and loss, and they would grieve in their hearts and in their words for...

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What is your favorite short story? 'The Grandmothers' by Doris Lessing.

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Was Lewis Carroll really on drugs when he wrote either 'Alice in Wonderland' or 'Alice Through the Looking Glass'? Since it was quite fashionable for writers and artists to partake of opium at the time Carroll was writing then it's highly probable he was under the influence of some substance. Who can say for sure? But anyone who has experimented with hallucingenic drugs knows very well the effects and similarities of Alice's weird experiences.

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Any thoughts of writing a novel? What would be the setting? Would the characters be based on people known to you, or entirely fictitious? I've actually written several already (sadly, not published, marketing is my weak spot!). One was purely fictitious, a children's/teenagers fantasy, the others based on life experiences and people I've known, but just amalgamated and re-fashioned for the purpose etc.,

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Dante's inferno, Myth, truth or Blasphemy? It's a visionary 'myth' and contains much Truth in terms of the human condition. It's only blasphemous if you are trying to rigidly compare it to the doctrines of the Catholic Church for example. It is a fine piece of literature and like all 'great' literature it is both inspirational and instructive. Read, learn, enjoy and ponder...

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Where is the topic sentence usually found? In the first paragraph, but it helps to bring it in again at the end, perhaps phrased slightly differently.

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Has any author inspired you to go looking for another of his/her books immediately you finished the last? Ian McEwan;Sebastian Faulkes, Fay Weldon to name a few.

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Who is your favorite poet, and why? Mine is 'surprise', by Wordsworth! it is the best poem ever that describes the painful reality of death I also like the poems of Shakesphere! Especially the Sonnets! Thank you for your answers I like so many it's difficult! Ted Hughes is a favourite, Dylan Thomas, Pablo Neruda, Philip Larkin... oh, it all depends on the day and my mood. I don't have an all-time number one, sorry!

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So I read the Masque of Red Death by Edgar Allen Poe, what do you interpret it's meaning as? (There is always one with Poe) I think it's that ignoring a problem will not fix it. It might be that the enemy is already within, and we cannot hope to escape our condition (as humans) by attempting to separate ourselves from others or from ourselves. It may also have a message about elitisism, that no one is immune to the rabages of life, no matter how much money and comfort you surround yourself with, you are ultimately human and therefore fragile and vulnerable - and not...

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How much more disturbing is it that Hitler had so much power considering he was known for often being apathetic, lazy, and disorganized? And, does this mean he became more of an instrument for the people to use rather than a true leader? Hiler may well have been all the things you say but he was also a very intelligent, charismatic and powerful personality. His role was to lead the government and appeal to his people, both of which tasks he fulfilled. Key memebers of government had repsonsibility for different areas of rule as in any complex governing body - its not just down to one man. Hitler ahd a huge ego problem and an...

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How does poverty contribute to moral decline Study the effects of poverty in any western society and you will find drugs, prostitution, theft, fraud, assaults and murders - all connected to the pressures of living in poverty. People will do anything to get money for what they see as the rewards of a capitalist society.

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Does any one agree with having a boy circumcised at birth if his dad is? If its a religious thing and the family are devout practitioners then its probably for the best, so that the child doesn't feel in some way 'left out' as he gets older. (It's a strict requirement in some religions) But if its for no other reason then why interfere with nature, which, let's face it has created us to be perfect - and these small details are there for a...

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HOW COME WHEN I WAKE UP AND DRIVE TO WORK I AM ALERT, BUT AS SOON AS I SIT AT MY DESK, I AM DROWSY. You're probably under-stimulated, bored or even mildy depressed by your work. Try going to the gym for a quick work-out before going to work, this should get the oxygen flowing, and maybe change your job?

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These days women can wear mens clothes in public without anyone saying anything or staring at them. Why in these modern times can't it be the same when a man wears womens clothes in public? I don't know one woman who doesn't own some 'men's clothes', e.g jeans, trousers, shirts etc., But I don't know one man (unless he does it in secret!) who owns any women's clothes. So maybe that's because most men want to look like men - they still hold onto male power, whereas most women still look and feel feminine in any type of clothes. Clothes for a...

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What is art? Expressing emotion/making a statement or just something pretty to look at? Art is the communication of an emotion, an interpretation of reality as experienced by the creator of the work of art. Be it painting, music, poetry or literature - these are all vehicles of expression. But if something is visually appealing, say, yet not in the reanks of Great Art, and the viewer enjoys it then what's wrong with that. But we do have to recognize a hierarchy in matters of...

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I just broke up w/ my boyfriend and I think it really hurt him what should I do Nothing. You broke up with him for a good reason, you have a life. So does he. One day he will begin to realize it and he will thank you for teaching him something, hopefully. It's called life. Let him live it, like you. Then one day you meet on the street, maybe, and you say 'hi', and smile and you might even get to be friends, real friends. Back off. You left him. Now let him...

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How long have you gone without sex and it has not bothered you? I haven't had sex for five years now - but it bothers me a lot! I used to love it and was very horny until my (now separated) husband suddenly stopped making love to me after he got angry with me one day. He jsut seemed to 'switch off'. Nothinbg I could do or say nor would he discuss it. The longest I used to go - without it bothering me was about ten days - two weeks. NOw, it...

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Hi friends i am dark skinned and i am very light hearted person. i wont even hurt others on the basis of theirfinancial status, looks oranything. but many people used to say i am dark and hurt me. i ve many good qualities but still why others r hurtin me Ignorance and fear, that's all. Just carry on being the nice person you know yourself to be and don't worry about the opinions of those who don't know you. Those who do get to know you won't care what colour you are.

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Does it really matter that I am a Scorpio?? Astrology and how it supposedly dictates relationships scares me. Being a Scorpio is only part of the picture. You would need a full horoscope in order to understand the complexities - your rising sign, moon sign, where your Venus is situated etc., Even then, it can only indicate trends - not firm predictions! And compatibilities - again, it's not a perfect science, it can only indicate possibilities of attraction/repulsion etc., Take a look at a good...

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I finally; for the first time had my heart broken . How do i get over this ? everytime i think about the situation i just feel sick. It's awful I know, I am in a similar situation. No one can tell you how long it will take for you to feel better, but you will. Nothing lasts forever, not even misery. After ten months apart I am at last beginning to feel a bit better. I still get 'down' days and even sudden out-of-the-blue sick feelings and wish I could turn back the clock. But in reality I realize that mostly...

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The retort for asking his sister to tell him I loved him and that I was sad. "You have a mouth as big as my sister. You ruined the relationship by talking to my sister about us!" What say you? Maybe you injured his male pride. Perhaps you would have done better to tell him yourself. Or is it that his sister is too bossy, or trying to push him into a commitment he's not ready for? 'A mouth as big as his sister!' sounds like she has too much to say - and now he thinks you're as bad as her. Go slow, back off but if you like him, show it quietly, don't force things.

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A question for women!....how do you judge men, what kind of personality do you go for and what traits should he have?, e.g strong, confident etc...? I like a man to be reliable, kind and confident in a quiet way. But the main characteristics I go for are sensitivity, generosity and a good sense of humour. I also like him to be creative. (Any applicants? :) ha-ha!)

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My girlfriend wants to move out to clear any confusion of her feelings for me in her head. She has been cheating. Do I believe her story? No. She is not confused she is making excuses to save your feelings or preserve your good opinion of her. If she's been cheating there's something missing from your relationship or her moral structure. Does it matter which? Only if you want to try looking at why things went wrong and working on putting them right. Let her go. Go out with other people, get your life back. Not easy, nor...

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Do you think that there is a genetic defect in all humans that they have the urge to hurt the ones they love the most? No, I don't. I think maybe that the state of being 'in love' makes us all feel vulnerable and we can be hurt very easily by our s/o's. Whether we mean to hurt someone is different, not many of us actually wish to inflict pain on those we love and in fact do our best to avoid it - even staying in relationships long after it's obvious we ought not to. As we're all...

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Does anybidy know anything good about psychology? What would you like to know? The positive benefits of psychology are well documented. We all wonder about our behaviour and emotions and often find ourselves puzzled. Even more so, maybe, when we think of our relationships with others. Who hasn't felt frustration and amazement when faced with our s/o's behaviour at times? Without a deeper understanding of the workings of our minds and...

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What is the least painful way to commit suicide successfully and not let anyone in your family find you? Sometimes I've felt like this, and wondered the same, what's the easiest etc., But the only thing to remember when you feel like this is that life still holds surprises and they come just when we're least expecting them. One time I felt very bad was before I had my children - now, I can't believe I would have missed out on them! Please hang in there, anyway, there's no...

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I need some major advice. questions in the answer column I agree with your other answerers. It's the hardest thing in the world to love someone who clearly doesn't return our emotions. Go to college and concentrate on making a new life with new friends, different activities and your education. You are building a future that is out of sight right now. If you learn from your pain and grow through it you will become an even bigger, better...

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When do you lose hope that your ex will come back and knock on your door? After you have talked things through, calmly and still the relationship doesn't work out, he/she doesn't want to start over. Just coming and knocking on your door sounds like a romantic impulse and even if you both fell into each other's arms, what's really changed? You need to move on once you're sure it's over.

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Is crying on the street in front of your boyfriend(you cant help it) and plead him not to walk away and to understand you instead, a form of abuse? am I being abusive as I cannot control my pain and tears in public? You need to discover what is causing you to have such uncontrollable emotions. Is it your relationship issues or something more? If you embarrass your man in public then he will walk away. You are not being abusive, nor is he really, neither of you knows how to handle this problem. Sit down together, when you are feeling ok and talk your problems through. Don't expect him to be your...

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I am always wrong in my hubby's eyes if that were so would't he want to leave and not me being the one so unhappy? Sounds as if your husband is projecting a lot of negative stuff onto you. You need to communicate better together, ask each other what your needs are and how you can fulfil them for each other. If you can't talk then maybe you need to get some couple counselling before your self-esteem is in shreds. He stays becasue he's in a position of power. It takes two to tango and you are being...

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Why do i dislike my coworkers Often, our group experiences reflect our prime experience of our family of origin. If you had a difficult time with your parents/siblings then you will get unconscious memories. Maybe there was rivalry, or even bullying at home, this would make you feel threatened in a group situation. Try to notice what specific feelings are aroused, you need to be very honest with yourself (maybe you feel...

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Have you ever had to work near a person that was a sweetie-pie, but don't believe they have ever attended the "Personal Hygiene 101" class?? How do you tell someone that they need to shower/brush their teeth without hurting their feelings? I think this is a management issue. You could end up with a hostile atmosphere if you try to tackle it yourself. I worked with a woman whose foot odour was so horrendous that it lingered for ages in any room she'd spent time in! Everyone complained and eventually the manager had to deal with it. Turned out she had a medical problem, but even so, when she realized how bad it was she got...

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If you co-worker repeatedly leaves his kidney juice in the toilet at the job, would you say something? Say, 'Is there a water shortage round here, or what?' He'll say, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, I've noticed you never flush the lavatory, for some reason.' He may feel embarrassed enough to start flushing, depends if he's thick-skinned. Or, maybe he really is trying to conserve water, in which case you can answer him, 'Very admirable, but we're...

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How do I handle the jealous women in my office? My boss adores me and has promoted me and all the women in my office have started treated me awful. Do I just ingore them and continue better myself or do I try to talk to them? I imagine that you must feel rather 'special' if your boss so obviously 'adores' you? Your advancement is fine if truly earned but if it's just favouritism then your colleagues will naturally feel jealous. It's important that you don't act in any superior manner, be assertive, fair-minded, genuinely kind and interested in teh other women and not false...

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Do you still sleep with stuffed animals? Yes. A small teddy bear with a red sweater that has my 'baby' name Kathie embroidered on it. But I only slept with this since leaving my husband. I was surprised how comforting I found it and now I can't sleep without my teddy!

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How to be a good person? Try to see the good in others, forgive slights and let go of past issues. Learning to live in the moment, fully engaged with the 'now' helps us to bring the best of ourselves into everything we do and that helps to make those around us happy too. Being a 'good' person doesn't mean being perfect, we only need to be good enough. So, it's important to be...

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Partner has a very close opposite gender friend and keep mentioning that friend while talking to you. If you ask, that implies you don't trust your partner. Should you get worried? Will the partner cheat? Or it is just normal to have such friend? I am a very close freind of a man I've known for years - before he married, actually. His wife is not part of our relationship and has only met me a couple of times, years ago. He and I are very close but we don't feel attracted to each other and have never had an affair. It depends upon the person, if your partner is honest, sincere and loving towards you then probably all is well....

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What can I do to release so much of this intense emotional energy such as anger, sadness, and resentment? All of this excess emotion is not good for me, and I'm super sensitive. The slightest thing people might say or do makes me ang Physical activity can certainly help. But it sounds also as if you have suffered a big loss in your life and you really need to grieve. Grief is made up of all the emotions you describe and sometimes it can help to talk to someone trained to help in such matters. Get some therapy if you can, it's worth it or those feelings may crop up in inappropriate ways in other relationships and spoil...

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Is anyone out there that screwed up with your life and is trying to start over but you can't cause noone will accept you? Okay, it's a while since you posted this question so maybe things are better for you? I hope so. If not, then try to find some sort of work through an agency that specializes in placing ex-cons (in England they have NACRO - don't know where you are?) Even if it is lowly paid work and not what you want, you will be able to build a record of integrity and reliability. Or, you could try...

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What are nice boys and girls names? i want one that you dont here often. Theodore for a boy and Graziana for a girl. You must have had the baby by now, what did you have and what name did you choose?

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What is luck and how does one achieve it? Some folks seem to have all the luck, it seems, while others have a stream of bad luck. How do you overcome a bad stream of luck and gain good luck? I believe we make our own luck by recognizing that we have choices in life. It's not what happens to us in this life that matters, it's how we deal with it. If you develop an attitude that is determined to learn from and even be grateful to your 'bad' experiences you will find that your 'luck' will change for your positive energy will attract positive energy. Like...

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Look at me... what do you see? Someone who is looking for themselves, maybe? You're too hidden for me to make an opinion, don't be afraid, come on out and be yourself, let's get to know you better?

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Have you ever split with an ex then regreted it with all your heart? Yes. I did regret splitting with my man. But after some time I realized all my good memories were of him a long time ago and that the reality has been very sad for me for way too long. I regret not leaving before when I was younger and my confidence was greater. I am a very emotional person and put all my 'investment' into his emotional bank - but it went bankrupt! Just keep moving on...

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I'm in the process of healing my emotions from my previous relationship, but my ex keeps telling me he loves me, and I have to see him every time he picks up our child and keeps calling me regarding our child, how can I cope with it? Tell him that you respect his feelings and that you will be there for him as a friend, if he needs you. What you shared will never go away, you have a child between you, forever. Be sure that you want it to be over and if the issues were impossible to resolve then there's no point, you could try talking this though with him to help him see this. Have you considered couple counselling? It...

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Why do Women Cheat in Love? Maybe their self-esteem is too low to be satisfied by their regular partner. Perhaps he's too busy, takes you for granted, doesn't pay enough attention. It's more likely to happen if the man stops paying the right kind of attention and if she just hasn't got a strong enough sense of self. For some women it's jsut the excitement, the 'feel-good' factor, a bit...

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My boyfriend just broke up with me and he already told me there is another girl but he says the are just friends. I want him back..what do i do? He's trying not to hurt your feelings even more. Maybe they are just friends but it sounds as if he wants it to be more or why mention her to you already? Find someone new, someone who loves you as you deserve.

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How do you let go of the past and all the anger that comes along with a divorce and is it possible to be friends? This is the hardest thing to do. We feel angry when we're hurt and sometimes that anger turns against ourselves and ends in depression. When we're rejected we feel bad about ourselves. It's important to realize that it was the relationship and not the people in it who were 'bad'. Maybe we're meant to learn something from all our relationships and especially our...

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My partner has a number of friends and relatives, who are charming and flattering to him and treat him like a king. When he is not there, they are vicious,nasty and verbally abusive to me. They tell him I am evil. I am placid & gentle by nature Are you sure you're not a little jealous of his popularity and his family/friends? You say you are placid and gentle, I wonder if that means that he is outgoing and energetic? Sometimes, we are attracted to people who seem to possess the qualities we would like for ourselves. Maybe your 'quiet, gentleness' is actually a mask and hides your real Self? Come out of your shell a bit...

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Whats a good way to keep phone calls and text messeges from being impersonal when that's the only way you can communicate with somebody for a period of months? Don't you ahve good old-fashioned paper, pens and stamps where you're going? If text is all then just say nice things, little nicknames and so on.

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Browneyedbeauty can u be my friend pls. Yes:)

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A friend has cheated with a mutual friends boyfriend. While i chose not to tell the girlfriend, if this ever comes out, is it unreasonable for me to request the cheaters to keep it confidential that i knew anything? To deny if asked? It's difficult and while I agree with LilyWhisper on principle, it's too late when someone has told you something then asks you not to tell. Ideally, you should have been asked if you would be prepared to share this confidence but most people are not moral gurus:( In your place I would ask your first friend (the cheater) not to tell you anything more about it and say that if you are...

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What are the six characteristics of animals? Just guessing here, eat, sleep, respirate, defecate, procreate, and move?

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Given the economic climate, is it a good time to open a shop? A lot depends on what you intend to sell. You need to consider whether your customers will rely on your stock in a recession. For example, everyone needs to eat no matter what. (Not that I'm suggesting you go into the food business, unless it's a niche market and you've done some research). You will also need to be aware that if you are borrowing money to set up then the interest...

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How do i get rid of that mosquito bite itch? Tea-tree oil is good.

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I just bought a used van on payments like 4 days ago,we had a storm and it got a little banged up on the top and a few little marks here and there,it was in my driveway where i rent my apt, is there legally a responsable party who should pay for repairs? Yes, you. Unless you ahve some insurance against storm damage to vehicles parked in your drive.

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What's your favorite song about (a) rainbow(s)? I remember a song called, 'Today's Teardrops are Tomorrow's Rainbows' but I don't know who sang it. It was in the early sixties and it was great to dance to. I still recall most of teh words too.

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What is an example of a Paradox, with any sport as the subject? (would, 'look in the goal where you're not going to shoot' be one??) No, this wouldn't be appropriate. That is merely conradiction. A paradox is a statement that incorporates a truth by its opposition, e.g 'It was a Pyrrhic victory for the Spurs last night as they performed very badly on the field and only won on points.' (Something like that anyway, if you follow my drift?)

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What is a more professional way to say "This means...". For example, "It is summer time. This means that it is the month of June, July, or August, in North America." I think if you wish to be 'professional' therefore is the most accurate term and less old-fashioned than 'thus' and 'hence'. 'Therefore'is usually preceded by a semi-colon to signify the clause to which the rest of the sentence refers.

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Women: Would you consider having a vagoplasy if your man really wanted you to? If this is because of something real (like childbirth injury) then maybe, just maybe... If it was for some weird thing like he was too small then I certainly wouldn't go there!

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How do you deal or remain in love with an mental ill person. He love me and shows me in many ways. But when he goes into the other world he shut me out. please help! You don't say what his illness is, has he been diagnosed? If medication/therapy can't control his moods then you will need to develop a core of inner strength so that you don't get destroyed too. You need to ask yourself what your needs are and whether you can get these met in this relationship. The most successful relationships are based on equality but where one partner is...

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What could be a reason one is having so many unpleasant and frustrating dreams many nights in a row? Like searching for someone, feeling frantic, and not finding the person. These sound like typical anxiety dreams. Is something happening in your life that is causing you to worry? Perhaps you are searching for yourself and feeling frustrated because you can't discover who you really are? We create our own dreams and choose characters, scenarios etc., to represent parts of ourselves, try to understand what your 'dream scenes' are telling you.

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What does it mean when you have a dream about wolves chasing after you and biting you? I had a dream that two wolves where chasing after me and biting me. please help Thanks susie Such dreams can mean fear of the mother, who may be too possessive/smothering or dominant. The fact that there are two might indicate both parents stifling your growth. Even if you are an adult it may be that you haven't freed yourself from their earlier influences.

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I had a dream i gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy last night. He was 8lbs and 1oz. It was completly painless and i had him in my room with my lover beside me. What does it mean and why did i have this dream? help plz It sounds as if you have some new idea that you are thinking of, maybe a project or something like that? The dream indicates that you will achieve your goal easily and it will be strong, harmonious and work well for you as you are totally committed to this with all your being. Do let me know if this is so?

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Have you ever had a precognitive dream? (A dream that later came true.) Why do you think this might happen? I've had several actually, over a period of many years. The most significant was when I dreamed of the place where I now live - in Southern Spain and to which I'd never visited before. The dream occurred about two years before we even thought of moving (from the UK). All the details were vivid and I recognized the part of the village I dreamed of when I came here. Why these dreams...

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How can you get rid of reucurring nightmares? Nightmares can be caused by a variety of things but if you have been suffering for some time from a particular one it could be a symptom of trauma. Is there possibly some event from the past that disturbed you and that has not been resolved? You may need to talk with a therapist to get to the bottom of your sleep disturbances.

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In your opinion, should forced circumcision (of males and females) be cracked down on as a human rights violation? Undoubtedly. Using force to mutilate a person, male or female is definitely against human rights in my opinion and also unnatural. I know that some religions demand circumcision of the male and if it is done when they're infants it's usually relatively pain-free. But so-called 'circumcision' of a female is no more than a barbaric act of mutilation that serve no purpose at...

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How would you know if you were living a lie? You would feel unhappy, discontented and unable to really express yourself. There might be a sense that there is in fact another 'self' who is struggling to be recognized. You may be in the wrong relatinship or job or life-style because of others' expectations and feel somehow restricted or forbidden to step outside 'the frame'. Your body may even throw up symptoms to...

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What can last forever? Love and faith and yes, I go along with PurpleRN - the soul.

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How much should I tolerate my boss' cursing me out before I tell him it makes me feel a combo of sad/shamed/anger? Should I suck it up and console myself that he does it to others or do I risk losing the job asserting myself (I have kids and a mortgage) Hey, cruz! I came in a little late as I read above that you complained already. Thank goodness you did and it worked! He's probably just burning off stress and it's not personal, still it shouldn't happen. I was a bit concerned for you as the feelings you described are typical of abuse victims and those powerless feelings of degradation can make us quite depressed. Good for you...

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How many times have your questions, answers or comments been misperceived? Several, three or four perhaps. I don't really keep count as I just accept that we can't be understood by everybody.

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How many times have you waited to find the answer to your problem, knowing and believing that your answer would come? Several times in my life when there has been some sort of a crisis. I used to be better at the waiting, or the faith side of things, when I was younger. Now, though I tend to still believe that the Universe will supply all my needs, I seem to intellectualize and doubt more. I try to analyse and find solutions even while knowing that that's not really the way. I think I just feel more...

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We need advice from all the ruggedly handsome men on AB. Do you have any tips of how a person can handle the burden of being so good-looking. I'm a female but I'll answer anyway. You probably realize that the 'burden' of your good looks is off-set by the size of your ego and there's no bigger turn-off than a vain, egotistical man (or woman!), so don't worry. Let them all gather round then proceed to bore them to death, ha-ha!

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What role should discipline play in Society? How should this be applied to children, teenagers and adults? What are your thoughts? Children need a certain amount of discipline, by which I mean respect for certain rules. Children also need boundaries or they can feel insecure, they actually like a set of 'rules' so long as you're not too repressive or rigid. Consistency is called for. Discipline needs to administered in a kindly way, not in anger, nor should it be physical. The child's behaviour should...

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HOW DO I GET OVER THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND VISITED PROSTITUTES EARLIER ON IN OUR MARRIAGE. HE HAS ONLY TOLD ME NOW AND SAYS THAT IT HAS BEEN EATING AWAY AT HIM AND FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS HAS NOT GONE BACK TO A PROSTITUTE. WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS. Your husband has broken your trust and now you feel your marriage has been a lie. This must hurt terribly. He is a weak man. First he visited prostitutes, then he felt guilty and so off-loaded his stuff onto you in order to clear his conscience. Very nice! I don't think! If you love him then you will forgive him but it will take time and you may need couple counselling to help you. If...

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If you know that your spouse loves you deep down. Is that enough to overcome the fact he/she has problems that he/she refuses to really acknowledge or get help? Is it that sometimes love just aint enough? Sadly, love isn't always enough. You need to get your self-respect in place, move on but tell your spouse what you're doing and why. Explain that what you have isn't good enough for a happy life together and that you both deserve to find happiness. Tell her that you will support her, be there for her - but only if she gets the right kind of help. If she refuses then she is...

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My birthdays coming up in august and i always have it at my house. This year i still wanna have it at my house but what are ways to make it more interesting and fun? im turning 15, mostly girls attending besides my bf and my best guy friend Have you thought of fancy dress or maybe a 'theme' party? You could choose an era, say the 60's and dress in that style, play that music, eat the sort of food etc., that was in fashion then. Or ask people to come as a character from theri favourite film. Maybe you could play a 'Murder Game' where everyone has a role and people have to guess who the 'murderer'...

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Has anyone ever had tendonitis in their achelies tendon? I do and it is painful and I can seem to get over it. I siffered an injury to my Achilles tendon some years ago when I hadn't warmed-up properly at an areobics class. It takes about 6 - 8 weeks to mend and you should support it with an ankle strap. It needs to be rested. Then make sure to take it gently when you resume normal exercise.

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Any one likes ABBA? I love them! Put on 'Dancing Queen' - NOW! Oh, 'Thank you For the Music!' I'm instantly transported and their melodies are so beautiful, I can forget time when I hear them singing. Look out for the movie with Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan and lots of other big names - 'Mama Mia!' I can't wait to see it - it's jsut been released in the UK.

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Something that affects us all of us is work, but would you choose to work if you were financially secure? (i hope i get alot of opinions on this one) In my early forties I was so involved with my work (I ran a pre-release course in a women's prison)that I used to say I'd do it for free. Now, years later and semi-retired for the last seven, I have to say that I wouldn't work for free any more. We all need to be valued. At the same time I need stimulation and intellectual interest so, apart from my creative work (I'm a poet...

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What is your FAVORITE breakfast? Char-grilled chicken breast, avocado, bacon, lettuce, tomato and blue chees dressing on rye bread. I LOVE this and it keeps me going all day! Delish!

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Is coffee bad for your skin? Drinking too much coffee may be bad for your skin as it dehydrates you. Drink a glass of water with every cup of coffee you consume.

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How do i get courage to leave my boyfriend.We been together for 11 years and ever since he lied about e mailing lab partner etc etc iam miserable please help. Sounds as if your trust has been broken. It's hard to maintain a relationship without trust. You must ask yourself what your needs are and what you want from a relationship. If this cannot be found with your present boyfriend you need to be brave and move on. This is never easy and never painless but if you surround yourself with good friends, interesting activities and a positive outlook...

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What is your claim to fame? I won an international poetry competition in Philadelphia 2004. Over a thousand poets from 63 countries attended and I won the Grand Prize $20,000! It was called 'Dark Land of Light', if you wnat to read it see my website, it's on one of the pages there. http://www.freewebs.com/katpoet

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Why do I become engulfed in pain, guilt, and rage everytime I see my ex with him? The feelings you describe are perfectly natural in the circumstances. You're still attached to her and you feel desperately hurt. You're experiencing the classical symptoms of loss or bereavement. Even tho' she's not died, she's lost to you. Anger and guilt are felt as we feel both hurt and rejected but also that we've done something wrong - it must be our fault in...

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Is it OK to piggyback ride onto friends, answering questions they answer and giving them points when appropriate? Makes me feel unoriginal but I like it and it helps me feel connected. :) lubble - lubble - lubble ... xxx

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What did queen elizabeth the first mean when she said "i will make you shorter by a head."? I doubt she actually said anything so crude, since the ruling classes in England would have (still do) glanced contemptuously at someone who displesaed them! But of course, the 'saying' is as the other answerers have already indicated, death by beheading. Anne Boleyn (one of Henry VIII's six wives) begged to beheaded with a sword, as befitted a Royal Queen. Her wish was...

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Since the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that rape of a child is not a death penalty offense, i wonder how the members of the Court would feel if their child or grandchild became a victim? think they would reverse their decision? The law should not be based on emotional reactions. It should be impartial and fair and there must be those in power whose families have suffered at the hands of criminals and rapists or murderers. The death penalty is very serous and surely should be employed only rarely, in special circumastances, if at all? The rape victim - even a child, though damaged forever and psychologiacally scarred...

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Why do you support the death penalty? I don't actually - across the board. In fact one of my best friends committed murder (and paid the price of many years in prison) when young, a crime of passion, born from an abusive childhood and later, more abuse. No excuse. However, this person is a truly compassionate, kind person who now has four children, spent years wracked with guilt and finally began to understand that the only...

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Would you feel uncomfortable if you discovered your next door neighbour was an executioner? Would you be able to chat to them like anyone else? I would chat to them in casual passing just as I would chat to the local butcher, both do an unpleasant job that many people believe is justifiable and correct. Would I invite them to dinner? Probably not as I tend to like pacifists, artists and gentle liberals. Sorry.

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Do you think that lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment? Not as cruel and unusual as the act that led to it, surely?

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What do you think of benifit frauds? No person who is working for a salary just above the level of benefits is going to like the idea of benefit fraudsters. Think about it, you are likely to be actually more hard-up than the person who doesn't do a 'proper' job as you get no help from the system for things like assisted health benefits etc., Whereas the fraudster gets something for nothing and something tax-free...

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If you saw someone mistreating an animal or child, what would you do: call the authorities, take action yourself, nothing, or do something else? A peace officer once told me that a citizen has the right to step in on their own in cases like this. If I thought the situation was manageable without anyone getting physically aggressive then I would try to talk to them and if they refused to see sense I would notify the authorities as I beleieve we are all responsible for all animals and all children as they are part of our world.

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You see your old-love today.You couldn t forget her-him.You still have a stronge feeling about her-him. You remember magnificent reminiscences.What ll happen?What about your partner (wife,husband..................)?What shall you do?What do you do? What happened? I came across this question a bit late in the day but I hope you realized that nostalgia is deceitful and plays on our imaginations. Why your old love is past is because it didn't work for whatever reason. What makes you think it will be different? What if your present partner was the one from the past? How would you feel then? Familiarity breeds contempt, remember. But...

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I am still in divorce process, can't /should not date yet, but missing company, and the kids are all away at the moment. Anyone care to chat? Hi, cruz, glad you're feeling better, hope you still are? I know how you feel as I'm in a similar situation myself. You can go out with people on dates if you want to. If you don't want a 'romantic' interest then ask friends who know your situation and be straight with them, just say something like, 'I want some female company for a change, do you fancy a movie,...

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Is it OK to piggyback ride onto friends, answering questions they answer and giving them points when appropriate? Makes me feel unoriginal but I like it and it helps me feel connected. That's what friends are for. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours! lol x

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Have you ever to been treacherous? Depends on how you define 'treachery'? I haven't been an angel all my life, that's for sure, but now I'm older and wiser I think all behaviour has to be seen in context and what appears to be selfish or 'treacherous', for instance in love, may also be just a fundamental urge to fulfil ourselves. (BTW I notice someone down-graded you, I wonder why? I've...

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Which century do you like to live? This one! There are so many positive advantages of living in this present age that I enjoy. I'm not the type to look back nostalgically, while there are lots of attractive things about earlier times there must have been many hardships and draw-backs too.

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Was there something you didn't have as a child that you were determined to buy for your child? What was it? 'Good' shoes. As a child I had to wear very cheap shoes that fitted badly and often even had holes in them that my mother tried to mend with cardboard - very uncomfortable and even humiliating at times. Even tho' I expereinced several years of poverty when my kids were small I vowed they'd always have good shoes on their feet, so I saved and scrimped and they never had to...

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Men, is it possible for a guy to NOT look. Is it possible for a man to be so wrapped up in their partner that no other woman matters? That they literally lose interest and start thinking all other women are ugly? My husband used to say he never looked at other women, that he wasn't interested and I must say I never saw him looking either. Also, though we've split, his male friends still tell me that he never eyes up women when they're with him. (People have always said this to me since we got together - they thought it odd enough to mention, I didn't ask!). Now, is he odd? Or is he...

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I've waited over 20 years for the man that I love to be divorced and now he is but has a girlfriend he doesn't want to hurt but says there are problems. Should I move on or keep waiting? You say you waited for him to be divorced but you just hooked up recently and found each other again? Didn't you see him in between? How did you know he'd get divorced? Or did you have an affair? He sounds as if he wants his cake and eat it too. You shouldn't wait around any longer anyway. If he loved you this other girlfriend would be history. Get outta there, now!

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My gf has this habbit of talking over phone.but after a while i really dont knw wat i shd talk. i knw she senses that i m being insensitive and we hv fought a lot over it.wat to do Tell her that you are not good on the phone. Say that you prefer to see her face to face when you talk because then you get a lot more out of it, that you like to see her expressions, her eyes and so on when you're talking together. Tell her int's not about being sensitive or not, it's that you communicate better person to person and the phone makes you feel unhappy if you have...

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Why is it when u split from someone they do things that they said they wouldnt do? eg, get involved with people with kids, go to places/pubs that u wanted to but they didnt as it was to far? etc Sometimes they want to hurt you if they feel angry and hurt, so they behave like this deliberately. But sometimes, it might me that they felt apathetic and depressed in the relationship because it was going wrong, so they refused to do things with you that perhaps they liked really. As for meeting people with kids, etc., well, it's easy to say what you wouldn't do until someone comes...

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How can you tell if he/she's the one? when and where will i find him? You will know because you will feel different than ever before and so will he, it will be mutual and unforced. You will find him when you stop looking! And he may be right under your nose without you knowing it yet. The trick is to stop looking, forget about the mysterious Mr Right and start enjoying your own life and intersts, then one day he'll just come along, out of the blue and...

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What kinda of behaviour is concered "needy"? how owuld you stop yourslef appearing needy? I guess its when you pursue someone who doesn't reciprocate or feel the same as you. When you constantly phone, ask them out etc.,always being around for them, dropping everything at a moment's notice and so on. Appearing not needy means being busy with your own life, interested in your own things and friends and not always available for someone else. I think maybe we're all a...

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Is it true that people opened windows when one died to let the spirit out? Yes and they still do in some places. My mother died last year in England and my husband opened the window immediately afterwards. It seemed a natural thing to do anyway, even tho' we're not particularly superstitious, it just felt right. Strangely, a few minutes later we saw two large hawks circle the house,three times then they swooped skywards and flew off to the West. My husband...

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Is it a waste of time and money to invest in becomeing a reiki master over $600 dollars? Only if your heart isn't in it. If you're doing it for pure profit and gain then you might as well be a shelf stacker.

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What is the lesser crime in love, to be refused or not dare to ask? ''Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.' Ask and be damned! If you are refused at least you can begin to let go and move on to a place where someone else will be glad to be loved by you and love you in return. And another quote: 'Faint heart fair lady ne'er won'.

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I want to help people with reiki and become a reiki healer and become a holistic pratctitioner is it worth my money i spoke yesterday with a Scientist on the phone and she advised me to not waste my money, what do you think? There are many mysteries that Science cannot explain. Man is both rational and irrational, both these parts are essential to the whole. Feeling and imagination, spirituality and belief are not inferior to logic, proof, empiricism and fact. Do what fulfils you and if you find you can heal people, how wonderful is that?

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Do you think that mankind will ever grow out of the ancient mindset of needing religion and embrace reality and science? I sincerely hope not! Define 'reality' please? Reality is an illusion based upon our limited perceptions which can change and which can only be based on partial 'truths' anyway. Science? It's only a way of testing theories and these theories are often conceived in the same place as art - the imagination. Mankind has a need to be creative and to believe or aspire to a...

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Do you often wear shorts in the summer? I only wear those shorts that are long, or look a bit like a short skirt. I think women only look really good in short shorts if they're young and/or slim, they can actually look appalling on the wrong bums and legs! And men who wear shorts with socks (!) - well, big baby boys or Scout Masters! Better watch out, ha-ha.

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How long scalp hair grow if left uncut Head hair has a life span, between two and five years typically, occasionally someone has a longer span therefore their hair can grow to fantastic lengths. But the average is more like two or three years and the hairs constantly reach maturity, fall out and start again (thankfully, not all at the same time! ha-ha!). When someone has very long hair its because of their genetic inheritance,...

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How would I know if I was abused as a child if I don't remember very much of my childhood? I've had depression, anger problems, and so on for ages, and I dissociate very easily, which to me all point to something bad, as well as having an unstable family. From what you say you were abused, though this may well be emotionally rather than physically. The effects can be very similar. You really need therapy as an experienced and qualified psychodynamic psychotherapist would help you. In my experience it's the only way - although, of course, therapy doesn't work for everyone. But you can have a happier, more stable life if you choose this....

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Please help, i cant take this much more. Im still in love with my ex. no matter how hard i try to get over her i cant. I love her with all my heart and more. Yet she has moved on and now with another guy, how do I get rid of my feelings? I tried everythin You have to start loving yourself more. If you had a small child that wanted to keep going to play with some kid/s who didn't like him, what would you do? Exactly. I don't suppose you'd keep putting him in the way of grief, pain and rejection, would you? You'd encourage him to play with kids that did like hime and you'd take him out to do things he liked. Well, take...

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Do you believe "in love" is when you love someone but they do not love you back or do you think that you can only be in love, if both people are feeling the same? You can love someone truly as a person if you know them well, regardless of if they feel the same. 'In love' is a form of infatuation and it's a mixture of chemistry and physical attraction that doesn't last. If you don't know the person very ell adn feel like this there's a danger of obsession so maybe you ought to try loving someone who loves you back. It's...

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Are one night stands a stupid thing to do? Well, mis-guided might be a better word. If people choose this together, just from 'appetite' - like deciding whether to go for a late-night snack at a burger bar then that's up to them, I wouldn't judge them. But, for me, sex is part of a more complex language, a special form of communicaton between two people who already feel a deep connection.Perhaps I'm...

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If an Angel Approached you: And Told you, they would take you to see anyone in your lifetime, that had previously lived on this Earth.. : Person or Animal.. Who would you go see? and Why this Certain Person or Certain Animal !! My sister who died in 1996. She was very special and I would love to see her beautiful face again, she was only 46 but looked many years younger and was a spiritually aware person too. I'd like to tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I am that we just hadn't got the courage to take her home and nurse her at the end. She died of a brain tumour in a hospice but I wish I'd...

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My mates bf is coming on to me saying he wants 2 b with me and stuff the strange thing is im starting 2 like him bck i feel so out of order on my mate what shall i do? Tell him to say what he's saying to you in front of her or you will tell her yourself! How would you like it if your girlfriend didn't tell you that you were with some two-timing guy? She might not like it but you'll save her more hurt in the long term. AND, you'll make him squirm. Maybe he will back off so fast you'll feel the air freeze where he was standing!

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How well have you been doing on the relationship questions lately? Don't people sometimes treat you like you are part of the problem when they don't like your answers?:( People who are in pain often lash out at those nearest as there is often anger with hurt - in fact there is no anger without something hurting beneath it. So, perhaps you hit a nerve sometimes and they say that truth hurts too! I don't take it personally if someone doesn't like what I say. If we offer our opinion we have to be prepared to take the flak if it's ill-received....

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How has age changed the way you perceive things and events? I now view life as a learning curve, even a river with its changing currents, its shallow almost stagnant parts, its hidden depths and its occasional wide, cool, sunlit parts and finally the estuary which will convey me to teh great ocean. I have more compassion and understanding for myself and others and realize that we're all simply doing our best, no matter how it appears to someone...

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Do you ever black out for a short period of time when you get up from laying down? No, I don't personally, but this could be low blood pressure. You need a medical opinion for something like this as it could be serious.

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Every time I stand or stretch I get light headed as if I'm going to faint and have to sit. Why and what do I do? This could be due to a number of things but it may be low blood pressure. It's important to get a check-up from a doctor as you ahve no way of knowing what's the cause. Once you ahve your diagnosis you will be able to treat theis complaint.

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How does psychologists help in the community Psychologists help people to understand themselves and their behaviour in order to improve their lives and relationships. A psychologist understands how we develop our personalities from infancy and can recognize where events have impacted upon our lives and hindered our progression towards maturity. With the help of such a person we can overcome traumas and losses and truly become our selves.

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If you were God, what would keep you awake at night? Human suffering. I can't imagine he wanted us to suffer as we do but He gave us free will and look at what we've done with it! Just as we want our own children to be happy if there's a God He wants us to be happy.

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There is a boy at school (he's my friend) and I like him, and i think he likes me too. What should i do? Please help me...I really don't know what to do. Well, you like each other and I guess you're both a bit shy? Why not tell him you like being with him better than anyone else and suggest you go to a movie together or something you can share? That way you'll get the opportunity to get closer to each other, you amy even get a kiss at the end of the night... lol x

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I had my first major argument with my partner of two years. I needed a few days tro cool off but when I was ready to talk he didnt want to know and ended it. We wre tohether 2 years and lived together Why did he do this? Perhaps he has abandonment issues from his childhood and you triggered his insecurity when you took a few days 'to cool off'. Or, maybe he saw another side to you that he just couldn't reconcile with the person he thought you were? Either way, you two had communication problems and perhaps its best its happened sooner than later when you will both be even more hurt. Take some...

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Imagine you are Mary, Mother of God. What would you do when the Angel Gabriel came down to you and said you were having Jesus? Who would be the first perosn you tell? Joseph, of course!

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If all the Gods from the different religions (Christian, Hindu, Muslim etc..) had dinner together what would the conversation be like? I can only agree with your other answerers in that I beleive there is only One God. The religious differences come about as a result of man's different interpretations of God. In the Bible we are taught that 'In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God'. Perhaps the sound of that word might be similar to 'Ohm' as in the Buddhist chant? Perhaps that's...

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What are some characteristics of Shamanism? In what ways does Shintoism fit the description of a Shamanic religion? A shaman is a 'magical' person, usually a man but can be a woman, they are known as 'medicine men' or 'witch-doctors'. They use a form of primitve magic, consisiting of atavistic resurgence or animal spirits and mastery of spirits which help them in their healing, diagnoses and sometimes harmful ways.Some American Indians use hallucinatory drugs and 'sweat...

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Do you read Books? I read many books, on philosophy, mysticism, psychology etc., I also read a lot of fiction as I find that good writers mirror the human condition remarkably well and have a lot to teach us. 'Great' writers have great minds and reading what they have to say is a bit like sharing time with them. I would be lost without books tho' I must admit that my pc is competing rather strongly...

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How do you deal with a lying father? Well,I guess you feel let down. Sounds as if he was trying to please you or get your co-operation, make thngs easier for himself, maybe. Is he always doing this kind of thing? If so, then tell him that you feel let down and cheated when he doesn't keep his word, no need to make a big deal of it, just explain and leave it at that. Maybe it will make him think a bit next time. If he...

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Have you noticed the new users who become Jodie44's friends arrive here nice people, then turn into stinking turds who spew the same noxious venom Jodie does? Doesn't take long and they all start spouting Jodie's agenda. What's up with that? Have you got a personal problem with Jodie? This isn't the forum for that kind of thing, why lower the tone? As for 'noxious venom' - well, consider what you've written...

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What would you say to a man who constantly tells everyone how handsome and sexy he is, to a point that even members of the same sex can't stop hitting on him? Do you think he is? If so, do you tell him he is? Or is he trying to get you to give him the attention he clearly craves? If you like him tell him he's gorgeous but that he doesn't need to try so hard to convince you as you prefer the person to the appearance. If you don't like him then tell him to get on with the greatest love affair of his life - the one he has with himself! ...

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What is the difference between a chemical imbalance and depression? Depression can be caused by various things such as a life-changing event like bereavement, job loss or major illness/surgery etc., But it can also be caused by the body's normal chemical balance being altered due to alscohol, drugs, hormone imbalance (as in post-natal depression) et., Your doctor will be able to diagnose you and decide the best course of treatment - oftne a combination...

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Well, Spain did it! Champions of the Euro 2008. Who watched it and was the outcome what you wanted? Sure! I live in Spain and tho'I didn't watch it I heard all the big bangers going off in the town so I knoew they'd won! It's a great atmosphere here on such big occasions.

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How do I get my boyfriend to stop tuning me out as soon as he sits down at his computer? It's like I cease to exist, and it's really starting to get on my nerves. Tell him quietly and calmly that you appreciate that sometimes he needs a separate interest and 'me' time but can you agree as to when and for how long he will engage in this solitary activity since you have your needs for sharing and companionship and they should be respected too. Computer life can be addictive and its easy to get lost in cyber-space! (Look at us AB'ers!)but...

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How do you deal with a lying father? First, I need to know how old you are,then what kind of a lie was it? And, how you deal with it really might just be to realize that none of us is perfect and fathers (and mothers) sometimes lie in order to save face, keep your respect/love, from shame or cowardice or a feeling of protectiveness. So, ask yourself why he lied. Then decide if you were him would you have done the same? You may not...

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Can you make up a (nice) or (funny) poem about a girl named Mary? Mary was a strange one Her mother often said She used to sleep standing up And wouldn't go to bed Her ways grew worse As she grew older Many people shunned her Except for Billy Holder She never did as others And always slept erect No bed was ever built That gave her any rest Billy loved mad Mary No harm did he intend He loved her till the day she died Then planted her...

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Women: what are some signs that my girlfriend is cheating on me, or thinking about cheating on me? There are certain signs when someone gets restless, but I think its better to talk to your partner and tell her what you have noticed that's making you feel uneasy. Perhaps she takes more care of her appearance - but not just for you? Maybe she's lost weight/started the gym? Or perhaps she's not into you sexually any more? Does she make excuses not to see you so often? It could...

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What would you do if you found out that youre daughter was cheeting on her boyfriend. and why? I'd ask her why she can't be honest with the boyfriend since moral values are important and we have a duty to teach our children to take responsibility for themselves and others. Advise her that she can't be really committed if she wants another guy and that it's pointless to hold onto something that isn't even there.

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What is a good response to the question"how old are you? " when you don't want to share your age? My grandmother used to say, 'As old as my tongue and alittle bit older than my teeth!' But you could take the advice of was it Zaza Gabor (?) who said 'Find an age you like and stick to it'. So, on that basis I'll tell you I'm nearly 36 and I say that every birthday!

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Am I sexist if I think women are 'better' than men? If yes, is it because of the way I have phrased this question; as a comparative? Will you take the moral ground, or say what you really think? Intellectually, I believe in equality of both sexes, we're different but equal, we're all people with different strengths and weaknesses. But sometimes life makes me feel that women have more spiritual and emotional depth (not all women, true), that women are stronger when it comes to certain things that matter in life. Maybe we're just programmed for survival in a different way?...

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How long does it take to forget your ex which has been in your life every day for 5 years? how long does it take to stop missing him after such a long time? After 28 years together my marriage finally fell apart about 10 months ago - he said he no longer loved me and that our relationship had been over for 14 years! (He hadn't bothered to tell me tho'!) I was devastated and felt ill, grief-stricken, shocked and isolated. I thought I would die I felt so bad. But after a while, supported by some wonderful friends on AB (((lol))) and a few...

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How the hell do you put on sunless tanner evenly? After showering put body moisturiser on immediately, then follow with a sunless tanning cream/lotion. It spreads and absorbs more evenly. Also, get a good brand name as they're designed to not go streaky. I like the L'Oreal range and it's not too expensive.

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Has linsey lohan or Brittney Spears ruined their life more? Since their lives are not yet over who can possibly say?

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Why is it called a glove compartment? Origanally, cars were designed as open-topped carriages - a step up from the horse and carriage, so wouldn't have been very warm to ride in. Hence, the need for gloves. So, a little compartment began to be built in for this purpose, as even much later models did not possess very sophisticated heating systems. Now they're much roomier and built to contain a lot more paraphernalia.

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Is it an American trait to say "That's Not True" if it is a fact that makes them uncomfortable? no matter the evidence to the contrary? I find this quite often when having discussions with Americans. They just live in denial of something they don't wa I don't know enough Americans to say, but I think it's something a lot of people might do if they're about to lose face. I actually like the American confidence factor. They seem to be raised to believe in themselves in the way that self-effacing Brits are not. But Brits can be hypocritical, pretending to agree just to be 'polite'. I prefer a more direct approach....

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What is something that you wish was illegal? For people to 'panic buy' and clear stock off supermarket shelves every time there's a strike or a petrol scare or similar, without any thought for anyone else. They ought to impose an upper limit, like rationing. Also, obese people should be issued with food tokens that can only be exchanged for a certain amount of calories per day. (Fascist? Sorry, I'm not. But I do feel...

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Who is Tiger Lily Hutchence's legal guardian? Bob Geldoff. But I think she' may have reached the legal age of majority (18) now and so not needing a guardian any more.

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Why is it hard to answer the question, "What is your worse quality?" We fear to expose our 'real' selves, especially in a situation (e.g job interview) where our 'false' self is taking centre stage. After bulling ourselves up we feel embarrassed to ahve to confess we're not perfect, in fact far from it, but we also fear what those analysts will make of us when we answer. Best to say something like, 'my best quality ... (fill in gap...

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How many AB members have tried "bread and dripping?" Do you like it? We were practically raised on it! It was important to get some of the jelly onto your toast as well as the greasy fat layer from the top and to put salt on it. The weird thing is, none of our family was overweight and none of us thought it was bad for us, in fact we loved it and thought it a treat on Monday evenings - all that remained of the Sunday roast. Strange, but I really couldn't...

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My picnic basket is empty, what would you fill it with? Chilled Champagne; fresh strawberries; ripe Brie; crusty French bread; grilled chicken marinated in yoghurt, lime-juice and coriander; char-grilled red and yellow pepper salad. A blanket, two champagne flutes, two small china plates, two knves and forks (not plastic)and two linen napkins.

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I think I found my soul mate but we are both married. I have dated him for over 2 years and I have been told that it won't work out that I need let go. Is this true? You and your lover are living a lie. Are there children involved? You're certainly not in love with your own spouses, either of you or you wouldn't be cheating like this. Do you have anything other than lust in common with your 'soul mate'. Consider how you'd feel if your husband was doing this to you and maybe your 'date' will one day do the same to you if...

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Which continent would you love to live in? Are you living in it right now? I live in Europe (Spain) and this continent is definitely right for me. There are several interesting countries to visit, France, Italy, Germany etc., to name but a few - all on the same continent and all with a rich and diverse culture and fascinating history.

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I have social anxiety, and I researched online on how to fix it and read books about how to socialize, but I'm still afraid of going outside to socialize, what should I do? Seeing a psychologist is definitely not an option as I will never see one. Why are you so set against seeing a psychologist? If you broke your arm would you see a doctor? There's no shame in asking for help and the best person to help with your problem would be a qualified and experienced psychologist, surely? As a pschotherapist I can tell you that I have helped people with many types of emotional problems.anxiety/depression etc., Some people feel there is some...

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I have had a skin problem for about 10 years now, I have been to hundreds of doctors and dermatologists, and they cant figure it out. My nose, cheeks and chin, are always red and peels. The redness goes away but it still peels, and I have tried everything Have you tried pure aloe vera? It's remarkably good for many skin complaints.

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If you were allowed one 'project' ....your life's work, so to speak, along with unlimited funding...what would you choose? My poetry. I have written many poems to date and would love to see them organized into appropriate sequences and published. I have had some success with my work but like most people I had to spend the majority of my time working and never had the time for revision etc., ah, well... I don't have nay regrets really.

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Let's play along for moment and assume that there is a God, and he actually did speak to both those who wrote The Bible AND Muhammad the Prophet. What kind of theological implications would this have? Actually, you know, there are many similarities between the Bible and the Koran. The fundamental message is more or less the same. Could it be that God DID 'speak' to both and it was just men who created the big differences? When I say 'the Bible' I'm referring to the Old Testament and not the later New Testament which, on reflection may well have been the invention of...

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Do you have anything that you treasure so much that you wish you could keep it forever? (excluding living things) A cotton dress from the late sixties, Indian, long, terracotta colour - a real flowing hippie thing that my sister (now deceased twelve years) gave to me. I love it as it brings back memories of those heavenly days we shared when we were young and free and had so many dreams. The world seemed peaceful and filled with music and a new consciousness - of course, it was too good to last. It brings...

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Come someone help me understand women? Full marks for trying! You're already well on the way, just by asking that question. The fact that you're interested enough in us to want to understand us is marvellous! Just realize that we're all different, individuals, similar to men in some ways but more complex in many wyas too - not being sexist! We're usually more emotionally developed but many men see this as a...

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Is the ability of humans to feel emotions, reason, invent, build, laugh, cry, dream, etc all a matter of evolution, and why are we the only species that has these fantastic capabilities? Personally I feel that we have a 'divine' nature, ultimately and our advanced make-up reflects this. But I also think that the whole of nature is a reflection of divinity too. Why, only us out of all the animals? I can't believe it's simply evolution for we have capabilities way beyond our basic need for survival - although the fact that our young depend on us for much...

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How can I convince my best friend NOT to get a nipple piercing? she wants my opinion and I think some places are best left unpierced? I'm with your other respondents. If someone asks your opinion you can give it, calmly, objectively and truthfully. But trying to convince someone to do or not do something is pointless. Maybe you're over-empathizing and projecting your own revulsion at this prospect? Stand back, keep cool, you're not your friend and she isn't you. Be a good friend and remain non-judgmental...

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Is it possible to develop ADD over time as an adult?? How does one become diagnosed later in life after a history of excellence in academic endeavors? Would not the the ADD affect someone's cogntive capabilities in childhood? Hmmm... how do you know I stay so young? Tha avatar isn't me, you know, but a pianting called 'Girl With A Pearl Earring' by the Dutch painter, Vermeer. I agree that it certainly has a most haunting quality and her beauthy is delectable. The subject is possibly Vermeer's daughter, judging from some of his drawings I've seen that depict some of his daughters. They made a...

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How do you find you ifyou are double - jointed? (if you are) just out of curiosity! There's no such thing actually, only flexible joints. People can bend their fingers back to an unusual degree or perform gymnastic feats with more ease and felxibility than others.

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Is it so bad to have multiple sex partners- talking 8 in one year, and not having developed any real relationship with any of them bc they didn't see the point they just did it for the pleasure of having sex?? Is there something wrong with this person? Not if the partners were both aware that it was purely a physical exercise. The 'wrong' would be if one person is using the other or misleading them. For me, casual sexual contact is just shallow, but I know some people who see it as merely 'fun' or the satisfying of an appetite, similar to going out to eat in different restaurants. It's easy to be attracted to someone...

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Is it weird for someone who doesn't believe in therapy to want to be a therapist? It is irresponsible and unrealistic to imagine that without a proper understanding and first-hand experience of therapy - plus a thorough training background - could possibly aspire to become a therapist. It is of prime importance for all therapists to undergo ongoing therapy, for at least as long as the training period and even afterwards. Why does this person want ot become a therapist? Its...

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I want to be a relationship counsellor. I have a psychology degree.Is there a course I can take from home to become a relationship counsellor? Probably but I wouldn't recommend this as a way to gain qualifications as a counsellor. It is very important for you to confront your own issues before you can help others with theirs. The best way to do this is in relationship to others and also in personal therapy for your own development. We're not always aware of how our own history has impacted upon us and unconscious memories...

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Frying food...does frying with olive oil contain less cholestrol and is better for you? The type of cholesterol in olive oil is the 'good' type and actually helps to lower 'bad' cholestrol levels in the blood. It is good for you in other ways too.

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What do you think the biggest challenge facing people your age is? I'm semi-retired and I've noticed that people of my age group 50+ who're retired find it extemely difficult spending 24/7 with their long-tern partner. Many face terminal boredom and even break up. Finding stimulating activities and not sinking into depression now that familial and career responsibilities are virtually a thing of the past is the most difficult thing.

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Will I go to hell for killing looters during Hurricane Katrina? If you really did kill someone/several? then your own conscience and fear of going to hell will give you hell here on earth. If you are truly sorry and really understand the enormity of taking life then you are already suffering. Since I am not God, nor do I believe in hell and the concept is beyond my imagination, I tend to think hell is what we think. Better talk with God - every day and try...

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Did you ever change you avatar or do you ever plan to? So far no, but I'm feeling like I might do soon. I chose my avatar when I felt more like she looks but now I'm feeling a bit different (less sad and despondent) so we'll see... Why did you change yours? And from what?

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Do you agree with the saying (I think it was Nancy Grace...) "Nothing good happens after midnight?" Well, in a way I agree but I've proabably had loads of fun in the small hours - only problem was that I didn't always remember it very well! And I had to pay the price the following day - groan... I must be boring but when I'm in bed by midnight, even if I read for an hour I always feel somehow more 'virtuous' - but I really feel grateful and happy the next morning too!...

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"Everything is relative." I have heard that so many times, and yet I wonder -- is that statement absolutely true? If not, then do you see that as a potentially offensive, if not impotent, answer to all of life's questions? I think it is basically true as there is alsways something to compare a situation with. I agree that it could be potentially offensive - or at least insensitive, for instance if someone has lost their partner through cancer, say and someone says, 'Well,it could be worse, you could have lost your family in the tsunami/earhtquake/9/11/whatever...' It just doesn't help, diminishes...

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Is it normal to wonder if what you think is psychologically normal or does it border on neurotic? i.e. Where does one draw the thin line between healthy self-analysis and neurotic concern about what others think? A certain amount of wondering whether one is 'normal' is 'normal' whatever that means, some are more introverted/introspective than others. Healthy self-analysis is part of growing self-awareness and can be of benefit to you and others (as Night Hawk suggested). Too much can be unhealthy. My attitude to concern about others' opinions of me is this: What other people...

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Is it possible to develop ADD over time as an adult?? How does one become diagnosed later in life after a history of excellence in academic endeavors? Would not the the ADD affect someone's cogntive capabilities in childhood? No, that wouldn't 'add' up (excuse the pun!). Most of us fnd it a bit more difficult to concentrate or remember things as we grow older, natural ageing process, I'm afraid. But if it's marked and noticeable then perhaps there are physical reasons such as narrowing of the arteries that feed oxygen to the brain (often treatable); degenerative changes to the brain caused...

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Do you notice, as have I, that the more you rate other's questions or answers, the more you get "bumped up" in return (i.e. by those not impacted by your ratings) Coincidence or aptly guiding principal in life? Yes, I think it's a guiding principle like what goes around comes around - or 'cast your bread on the water and it will return to you ten-fold'. (hint, hint, you guys - I just gave you all max points! hint, hint) ;)

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What is a great breakfast meal? I don't eat breakfast often but when I do I love this Club sandwich: Grilled fillets of chicken breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado and blue cheese dressing with maybe a sprinkling of walnuts on top on a thick slice of rye bread (it's too thick to put the top on it so you have to make it an 'open' Club sandwich! Keeps me going all day and is delicious!

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Over the yrs there have been lots of hair styles, which one would you like to see come back in style? For the guys, I love that rock'n'roll quiff, like early Elvis! Slicked back at the sides, longish in the back and then that sexy drop falling into the forehead at the front - yummy! For the girls, I love long hair like in the seventies - but it's in vogue again now so that's ok with me since I still have my lovely long dark hair - regardless of fashion.

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Which superheroes have children? David Beckham.

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Is there going to be an ANSWERBAG meet this year(08) in the uk I hope so! That would be cool!

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I'm wondering if a literal chrisitian and an agnostic can get married, let alone stay in love? I'm quite in love with my girlfriend ,but the thing is I don't believe I can be apart of her life because I can't share her core belief. Hmmm... this is a difficult one. If someone simply has different beliefs then maybe you can get by, but if one of you attends church, socializes with other church memebers and has firm beliefs about how any children should be raised then the differences may prove too great. The 'quite in love' feeling you have now has a note of reservation in it and maybe you're at the stage...

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If you could design and add a new feature to answerbag, what would it be? Yes! It's frustrating when you've answered a question and have to press the 'back' button twice in order to return to the page you were on before you answered.

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Im 5 foot and 3/4 i would just like to know if my weight is poportionate weigh 118 as well for an 18 yr old I think you fall into the 'normal' range but really, if you exercise regularly, eat healthy food and like yourself that's better than watching the scales. How do your clothes feel? You're probably just right!

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Did you know that graffiti was actually plural for graffito? (I didn't) Any other singular/plural forms of words that might be little known? Index - singular; indices - plural. Thesis - singular; theses - plural.

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What is the psychological explanation for the romantic kiss? and the need for this kiss? It reminds us of the close contact we shared with our mothers at the oral stage of development (Freud). That 'suckling' response in the infant is connected to nurturing and love and so touches deep bonding chords within the psyche. When we kiss we also release certain endorphins (feel-good hormones) which calm us and make us feel closer to the person we're kissing, and of course...

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Can you be truly in love more than once? Yes. Love is boundless in its supply, you can always love again if you let yourself. Relationships differ but love doesn't.

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What is a good measure of 'success'? Is it really your bank balance? Depends where your locus of value is. If you're materialistic, then yes, maybe. If you're hungry for fame then it would be something else, if you just want to be a good person then you'd measure your success by how many good friends you had and so on... 'Success' is one of those words that have different meanings for different people.

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What's the best way to win someone back? without it looking like you're doing the work.... The sad truth is that there is now way. Nothing you can do or say can change someone's mind. It may depend on why you broke up and if it's something you did that they can forgive, then just apologize and promise not to repeat it if you really mean it. But, building lost trust and reigniting burned -out coals is difficult if not impossible. Sorry, don't want to be negative, just...

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Why do men have chest hair? One, it's genetic, two it's useful for absorbing sweat when they are doing ('masculine') physical work but also it's usually present in a high-testosterone type and is meant to attract females - as in 'look! I'm an alpha male' (followed by chest-beating)- just joking! But all those factors are part of it so I guess on some level females respond when...

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If you believe in an afterlife....do you think there will be any permanent connection between your existence here and the life you will ultimately experience afterwards? If there is I think it will be love - that infinite, sustaining energy that sustains and connects us all.

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What do you really want? True love and connecton with another. I have good friends and family who also love me but I long for that special, singular connectoin wehre you're deeply appreciated and understood, where mutual empathy and concern are paramount. Does it exist? And if it does, can it last?

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My boyfriend and I just broke up after seven years, I caught him in a lie. Not a cheating lie a trust lie, something he promised never do do again. What can you say to me to make me realize we can never get back together? Hey, Sweet! You don't have a couple of eggs and a cup of sugar I can borrow, do you? ha-ha! It's like the old friendly street I lived in when I was much younger and us young mums would be in and out of each others houses and lives with tea and sympathy and a few good laughs whenever needed. Big hugs to you, too((( x ))) and to you (((Cog)))lol x

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If i was to ask a guy out, what could we do so there wont be any awkward silences? All/any of the above are great suggestions. Depends what your interests are, it's best if you can find out if you like similar things. If you can do something you both like you'll feel relaxed together and share a discussion of that activity/interest. So find out what he likes first then go for it. If you really like each other you can always fill in 'awkward' silences...

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When is the right moment to kiss? When you're both slightly short of breath just because you're standing too close and when he looks into your eyes and you look back and can't look away and can't think of anything to say and when you touch you both tremble a little - then! Kissssssssssssssss xxxxxxxxxxxxx Good Luck! lol x

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For only woman: Why do men act like apes? Funny how many MEN (from the Planet of the Apes?) just had to leap from their branches there, wasn't it? You said, 'for only women'. I have to smile, they're quite cute in their furry, chest-slapping, whooping, big-eyed, silver-backed way, aren't they? Remember, when God made man she was only testing! :) lol x Guys! Get a sense of humour and don't be mean and...

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What is the best website you ever went to? This is! AB has saved my life - almost literally.

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Who agrees that intellectual compatiblity is the most important key to a good relationship? Sex is great but it cannot sustain the psyche for long. Comments. I agree with you. Intellectual compatibility implies similarities of interest and attitude. Where there is a parity between two people there will be a harmony of understanding. With a noticeable disparity one partner will be disadvantaged, maybe dependant and possibly resentful. But with intellectual connection sex can become a sublime expression of connection and the psyche is truly involved...

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How much time am I allowed to catch up on responding to comments and answers I have missed since I was away? I couldn't say but I want to say to you, Parsec, my friend, don't think you have to 'catch up' with everything unless you really want to and enjoy it. Otherwise you give yourself a headache of obligation. Live in the 'now', easier to just deal with what's here, now, than with what's already passed and gone and probably of less consequence than we imagine....

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Is evil anything contrary to that which sustains and improves the life? Hi Parsec, hope you're good? Another interesting question. I think in some ways it is, but it's also more than that. It's anything that actively and deliberately harms life. We may think that some evil is accidental - the consequences of an act may not have been considered in advance, but that might just be thoughtlessness - hardly evil, tho' it appears so. I think evil...

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How can or do you tell if someone is lying? I still can't tell if someone's lying to me yet I think of myself as experienced and can read body language very well. Do they get angry because they feel attacked/not trusted/surprised etc.,? Do they avoid eye contact all the time and then look straight at you when they lie. Or do they avoid eye contact only when lying (Asperger's apart). Do they blush because they're...

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What was more important on your job- written or oral communication? Oral, but quality rather than quantity - I was/am a psychotherapist.

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I'm interested in hearing about the last time you took a risk. What was it and in retrospect, was it the right decision? I took a rissk when I left my house and husband and rented an apartment. I hoped he'd miss me and try to work on our relationship. He didn't. At the moment I can't say if it was right I'm still licking my wounds. Who can say if it will turn out better? I just hope so.

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If you're doing something and you fear failure while doing it, why does that tend to only lead you to failure faster? See my answer to your earlier question re self-fulfilling prophecies.

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If there's one type of prophesying that humans are good at, it's the self-fulfilling type. Why are humans adept only in self-fulfilling prophecies? What causes us to correctly self-fulfill our prophecies so often? We create our own lives by our conscious and unconsious thoughts. We can learn to have positive beliefs about ourselves and our lives and we can choose our responses to what happens to us.

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If a girl already isn't interested, are you already past the point of no return? Usually, yes.

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At the moment she decides whether she's interested in the guy, how does she? Does she just flip a coin in her head, or what does she think while evaluating him? I think the scientific answer might be that all sorts of neurons and protons etc., are involved in the chemical/physical laws of attraction and the responses are both conscious and unconcious. There's an 'instant' reaction based on visual, audial and sensory impressions, even pheromones play a part here and genetic factors too. The 'moment' of attraction might get...

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What is your greatest strength/weakness or deficiency? I'd say that in my greatest weakness is also my greatest strength, thus, my tendency to be slightly impatient with those who refuse to take responsibilty for themselves is the flip side of my determined and independent personality. I get things done without too much fuss, so find it hard to understand sometimes when people dither around, getting nowhere fast.

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Making every speech exciting is a Herculean task, isn't it? It can be a bit like the Augean stables, yes. But the more often you do it the easier it will get and if you enjoy your subject your enthusiasm will shine through.

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Have you ever felt like you're a really long way away from where you should be, need to be, or want to be, and if you have ~ why did you feel like that? I've felt like that recently (as you know, sweet)but I am wise enough to know that all this is meant to teach me something so I guess I'm right where I should and need to be - even if I don't particularly want to be! I also know that every moment is new and this gives me the renewed opportunity to live more fully in the 'now', thus loving everything that comes my way....

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What do you do when you are cheated on and you still love the person who cheated on you? It's hard, I know, and it hurts like hell. First, you need to know why it happened, secondly, is it likely to happen again or was it just a one-off situation? Can you truly forgive and forget? If not then your relationship is doomed anyway. Just because someone hurts you doesn't mean you don't love them, love isn't something you switch on and off at will. Perhaps you already...

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How can you tell other kid's that smoking isnt your thing? Just say, 'I've given it up', and smile. They'll appreciate your humour and that will help. Don't start smoking - the price you pay later in life just isn't worth it.

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If we were drunk in a bar and I leaned towards you and said ... I love you ... would you punch me or hug me? It depends on how good looking you are. If I fancied you I might hug you, if not I'd smile or even laugh - but not in a nasty way.

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What we call "animal magnetism" in men do we call "feminine wiles" in women? Not necessarily, that's different. Maybe 'sex appeal'?

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I want to make a girl to be my girlfriend and I have already "partly" confessed to her. She knew my intention. Now, I realized there are other guys that are interested in her and had even tried to confess to her, but she rejected them. What do I do? You're not 'other guys'. And, you can't 'make' someone your girlfriend, it will happen gradually and naturally if she likes you too. Just be natural and confident, she hasn't turned you away yet. Ask her to go to a movie, or a game or whatever you both enjoy together. Get her to talk to you, listen to her and make her feel important, let her know you...

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My girl friend was going out with her friends last night. I doubted whether she was going to the club she promised me not to go. She was there. Later we had a huge fight. She can't find a logical reason.I lost all my trust about her. Should I forgive her? It sounds as if you are a bit insecure, why did she have to promise not to go to that club? Were you trying to control her? You need to be honest here, maybe it's more about your own fears than anything she's done 'wrong'. Having a mind and life of her own isn't wrong. Resisiting being cotrolled by you (or anyone else) isn't 'wrong'. Look at yourself,...

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I have just broken up with a man that I have been with for 11 months. This 11 months of my life, have been the best, the worst and a combination of both good and bad times. I still love him, but I have difficulty accepting all the lies he tells me. This sounds like co-dependency, it's a road to nowhere. Forget him, you'll never trust him and when you say it's been the best and the worst you're talking about a very unstable rollercoaster of a ride. It was the adrenalin and uncertainty that made it seem exciting - an illusion, really it was dangerous and destructive. You can do better than that for yourself.

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Have you ever had an ex who still wanted to be "friends" when you want nothing to do with them? How did you get them to back off? Sounds as if she hasn't had 'closure' yet, Redcatt, that's why she can't let go. You say your relationship was 'over' before you ended it but she accused you of cheating when you met someone else. Why not take her out somewhere quiet - make it clear you just want to talk. Then ask her to tell you what she's thinking and feeling. Listen to her, understand...

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I have been with the same woman since i was about 13 we had children when i was very young 17 the kids are grown up and we have nothing in common anymore we seem to live two seperate lives I am thinking of just dissapearing off the face of the planet help Sounds as if you're keeping your feelings to yourself and that your wife and family have no idea what's going on with you. It's true that you got together very young, but that doesn't mean it can't work out. But, if you've really grown apart, rather than avoiding the issues and 'disappearing off the face of the planet', why not be grown-up about it and...

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When and why do you feel self conscious? If I'm in a situation where I really like a guy, then I feel as if everyone else can tell and that makes me feel self-conscious. I'm not often self-conscious tho' nowadays, like Rosie GHM says, others are more interested in themselves.

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I would love to know exactly the right time to flirt, and how exactly to flirt at that moment. Where and how do I learn these? I agree with Bitto, you need to be natural and spontaneous. I see from your other questions that you're very logical/technical. Maybe you need to get in touch with your feminine/intuitive side. Asking questions and really listening to the answers is more effective than flirting if you're not able to flirt naturally. Forget yourself and flirting will become easier, just wait until she...

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What will happen to me if I achieve the world record for signing up on the most dating/matchmaking sites? From the resulting possible fame, will many women try to come after me? Probably, but remember, 'So many women, so little time!' Women will come after you if you sign up for just one agency actually, there are more women seeking men than vice-versa, I think. Or try your local supermarket - chat someone up over the veggies?

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What do you think of the ego? do you think you have a torp id? The ego is ok so long as you don't let it get big ideas about its Self. As for torpidity (torp id's little brother) well, I'm familiar and tho' I quite like it, I don't want it to get too big for its boots either. :)

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I was wondering...and now I'm lost...can anyone tell me how to get back? Keep your mind centred on reality, remember who you are and look for the light that's out there somewhere. Oh, and don't forget to think of me, I'm holding your hand, so you're not lost alone.

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When you watch TV in the evenings, do you like to sit in the dark, switch a lamp on or burn candles? I like soft lamps, and keep candles for when I'm listening to music.

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Ladies, when was the last time you went bathing suit shopping? What was it like? Last year. I went to TK Maxx and just picked a couple of bikinis off the rail that looked right for me in a size bigger than I admit I am (I can get away with it when its skirts, tops or dresses) - then just wore them without looking too hard at myself in the mirror. I don't look bad but I'm far from 'perfect' and really, who cares? Other people don't care, they're...

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How did the London Midland & Scottish Railway get its name? It connected London and the Midlands to each other and to Scotland. They had very basic names and obviously this made it easy for the passengers to know what train to get. There were also The Great Western and Great Eastern Railways, again, serving those areas of the UK.

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Texas' first convicted killer to be committed under the state's Sexually Violent Predator Program has been arrested again, this time accused of secretly starting a sexual relationship with a female jailer. What do you think about that? It happens, for good or ill. The officer in question may have been duped by this guy if that's his style or she may have seen another side to his personality and fallen for him. If he is actually having a 'proper' relationship, that is, based on mutual respect and understanding and he isn't doing anyhting fundamentally wrong it could be a sign that he is changing. We're...

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How can I find ways to get others to understnad my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and my Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Am 26 and live on my own as an adult. My parents seem to label things OCD that are not and vice versus when something is OCD. Any advise? Talk to them about how it makes you feel when they label you. Labels are only generally useful and can actually be dismissive. Explain that you are a person - like them, with many facets to your personality. The fact that you have been diagnosed is only a way for the medical profession to try to help you - not a way of dismissing all your behaviour and all your thoughts. Tell them nicely, that...

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Can you have sex in hevan, like with your wife Who can say? But if there is a heaven then no doubt you will feel so close and connected to her and everyone else and God Himself that sex will maybe seem just a human way of trying to touch that heavenly feeling?

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Are fundamentalists of any persuasion dangerous? My view is that yes, they are. Zealots are inclined to over-ride all arguments against their own belief systems, therefore they have closed minds. Only an open mind can remain impartial and considerate to others opinions. If we believe something to the exclusion of something else then we are disrespecting others beliefs. The big danger with fundamentalists is a basic lack of imagination and a...

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Are you weaker if you dont see the potential within yourself, or see the potential and do nothing with it? Interesting. If you doin't see it you're probably weaker as you won't have the chance to exploit it to your best advantage. If you see it but choose not to do anything then that's just your choice - we're all entitled to choose for ourselves.

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Do you believe that America can be turned around for the better? How? By realizing that the happiness of all people is the only goal of politicians and that every decision made should bear in mind the general impact of the consequences. This is not as unrealistic as it sounds, for if kids at school were taught ethics and morality and businesses were expected to plough back some profits to help poor people and capitalism became less powerful (not absent - just...

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My friend is leaving for Missouri Friday, i want to make her a going away present but i dont know what to make, any ideas? A beautifully framed photograph of her with you and maybe her other best friends?

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Freudian test: answer these questions with the very first thing that comes to mind: what is your favorite color and why? what body of water do you like the most (puddle, ocean, etc) and why? what animal do you like the most and why? I will tell u y after! Lilac/purple - serene and powerful. A sparkling, calm ocean - a sense of liveliness and motion, expansive and inviting. Panther - sleek, beautiful, watchful and capable, can defend itself very well if necessary.

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Will you say something to make me smile or laugh?.. I'm feeling a bit down tonight... Hillary will win?

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Have you ever had a strong sense of ominous foreboding that kept you from doing something you otherwise wouldn’t have thought twice about? I have and yet nothing that I could see happened anyway. Sometimes 'free-floating' anxiety can fasten itself onto an object outside ourselves and we believe that we souldn't ake that flight or we souldn't go to college/work that day etc., This used to happen more when I was younger and less aware of myself. I was more neurotic then - tho' am still somewhat crazy! :)

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Do "soul mates" really exist? Yes but sometimes we get confused because we can feel great passion (attraction - biological, chemical) for several people in our lifetime. But that 'soul' connection is an experience deeper and somehow more 'right' - like looking inh a mirror. There seems to be a knowledge on a level outside our normal experience and inexplicable, but real. Could just be the extent of our...

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Do you suffer from the nightmare of suspicion and doubt caused by the infidelity of a cheating spouse? I have suffered that 'nightmare' of suspicion and doubt without sufficient evidence to know whether he was actually cheating. It's the most stomach-churning and miserable of emotional traps to get into and very unhealthy for both people. You need to either completely forgive and forget or end the relationship and regain self-respect. Either way, you woulfd be free of this...

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What is the difference between loving someone "passionately" and loving someone "deeply?" Which do you prefer? The passionate part is usually short-lived and happens at the beginning of a relationship. The deep bit comes in later and is based on genuine knowledge and understanding of your partner. Sometimes it's possible to feel deeply about someone after a relatively short time. Personally, I adore a bit of passion but really want deep and lasting love in my life.

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I'm just curious, recently I read New Moon, the sequel to Twilight by Stephanie Meyer and I wanted to know just what it feels like to have the love of your life walk out on you. I hope you fall in love but I hope you never have to experience the devastation that follows when someone walks out on you. It's worse than someone dying in some ways because you feel bad about yourself, rejected, unattractive, abandoned etc., as well as all the gut-wrenching misery described to perfection by Kellie. Love can be beautiful but it can hurt like hell.

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When you feel in your heart your s/o does not love you, but you love them what do you do? Maybe what you feel in your heart is that YOU don't love HIM? We can only feel our own feelings 'in our heart'. Are you sure you're not projecting? Look at his behaviour if you want to know if he loves you. Trust him, love him, take a genuine interest in him and try to make him happy in your company and above all, relax. If he doesn't love you he will soon make it...

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I have been in an on and off relationship for a while now. It seems we cant be happy with or without eachother. When i'm with him i'm unhappy and when Im not i am miserable. Why do I feel this way? I think its unhealthy to be this way. What should i do? It's most likely that you suffered insecure attachment to your mother as an infant/child - perhaps you were separated for some reason or she was maybe depressed/busy/absent? There are various reasons and it's not anyone's fault as such but we can be affected by our mothering/parenting and this can impact upon our adult relationships. It could be that the 'child' in you...

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What do you think of extremely shy people? Shy people make me feel awkward as I have to do all the work and this makes me more outgoing and talkative than I'd like to be so I feel I'm being forced to behave differently. I also feel at a loss to think of things to keep the conversation going so I tend to move away to more confident company. Shyness is a form of egocentricity as the shy person is thinking of themselves more than...

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What are you not telling me when you don't look me in the eyes? Usually it's a lie and the person is avoiding eye contact for that reason. Or, they could be hurt by you and can't bear to look at you in case they show their pain and that makes them feel vulnerable. It needs to be understand in the context of the relationship.

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How can a person stop being self-conscious when in public? When you realize that other people are really less interested in you (and each other) than in themselves in terms of making impressions, then you start to relax. Most of us have felt nervous, shy, insecure at some stage of our life. Observe how people stop staring at you and stare at the next newcomer who walks in through the door, for example. It's just human nature to glance at...

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What are some examples of demonstrating a clingy personality? 'Clingy'is another word for insecure and insecurely attached infants are anxious and lack independence and may grow to be needy, insecure adults. In a relationship this person may adapt to her/his partner in order to try to please them and may also exhibit symptoms of anxiety when separated for any period of time. They may actually need to hold onto and constantly touch their partner...

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Is there something wrong with my sons if they prefer older women? Has it something to do with their relationship to their mother/father It's probably not very helpful to think in terms of 'right and wrong' in such matters. We all choose the relationships we need in order to learn and grow. It's possible your son's relationship with their mother may have affected their choice - perhaps an unresolved Oedipus conflict could underlie this. But also their relationship with their father would have an...

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Have you ever felt like you just can't and don't want to let go of a person that broke up with you? also like an addiction to that person, their voice, smell, laugh, touch, etc. Yes, I'm going through something similar. I have a bit of an obsessive-compulsive type of personality, it can be useful but can also work against me! I think we need to respect and love ourselves with the same dedication and obsessiveness that we do these others who don't really deserve us. The ones who deserve such devotion should also be devoted to us.

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Do mason's secretly practice satanic worship and sacrafises like people are saying? I doubt it for 'secrets' are seldom kept for long. I think the confusion over Satanic worship comes from their early rituals and involved a sacrificial bull or goat (?). Are there any Masons out there who would care to cast a little light on this subject?

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If "Jesus" and "God" are one, then why did Jesus ask: "God, why hast thou forsaken me?"...was he talking to himself? Jesus was 'made man', given this fleshly frame in order to experience life as we all do - with its pains and joys and temptations etc., He was God made flesh but God is not the same as us, we are made in His image. When he suffered on the Cross he was reacting like any other human would and he felt afraid and in his misery he felt alone and abandoned - because he was a man in that...

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One thing you would like to do with your inner child? Make her secure and loved so that I care for her more and don't let people take advantage.

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I keep telling myself I won't get my hopes up with this one guy, and I always end up getting them up to break them myself. How do I stop doing this? I hate breaking my own heart! Love yourself more first, then you'll start putting a higher value on yourself and hold back until you know the guy is equally interested in you. It's easier said than done tho', I admit. But I think it's possible. Try telling yourself you love yourself, look in the mirror and say the words. You'll feel silly at first but eventually you'll start believing it.

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IF A BLACK AND WHITE COUPLE HAVE A CHILD IS IT ALWAYS BLACK? Depends on whose genes are dominant, I think.

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Can i ask a question that i previously asked that was similar to my question, if i don't get a satisfying answer? Perhaps if you reword/re-phrase it you might get different responses? What was the question, by the way? And it's not just about being unhappy with the answer, you could make a comment and open up a dialogue, maybe? Or wait for other answers.

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Do you know what love is? Or do you just do what you are told? I know what love is and although I don't usually do as I'm told I'm happy to make compromises in life for the sake of one I love. If you meant do we know what love is or is it just something we think from hearing/reading about it - then, no, love is real and powerful and you know when you've got it - not just the first 'rush', that's different. For me, love is...

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How would you sum up life, the universe, and everything in one sentence? Live each moment as if it were your last, you never know when it might be.

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Do you secretly love someone? Well, if 'secret' means keeping it all to yourself and not even telling the other person then this might just be infatuation. 'Secret' in the sense that only the two of you know then yes, I do. SAdly, he is unable to properly reciprocate due to unavoidable circumastances of the moment. Maybe he never will. That just makes my love more powerful as it's unrequited...

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FUCKING FUCKERS! Is this a question? Or are you just letting off steam? And who or what are the 'effin effers' in question? If it's your kids and you're feeling so frustrated then maybe you need to seek a little help - nothing to be ashamed of. Tell me what's bugging you if you need a proper answer.

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If god was trying to kill you,what will you do? If God was really trying to kill me I don't think I'd have much choice, nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. I don't think God wants to harm us actually, life and what we do with it might harm us (and others) but God gave us life. And yes, God takes it away. Let's be thankful and as happy as possible in the meantime. And don't forget to love - yourself as well.

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What happens if you dont have much in common? or its all quite and silent? You need common interests in order to share and enjoy activities together. In the long term a silent partner can end up being simply withdrawn and emotionally unavailable. Ask yourself what your needs are and whether this person can help to fulfill those needs. If you're both just shy, then you could try going to a movie or something that you can discuss afterwards to help break the ice.

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The only worry I seem to have lately is when Im not talking to my s/o. Im obviously attached emotionally, and I feel like I am more than her. How can I help myself? I know some of it stems from trust issues that I need to come to grips with. If you expereinced abandonment as a child then you will feel vulnerable when you're in love. It's the damaged Inner Child who is feeling insecure and needy. You can work with this part of yourself if you can identify it and imagine you're the director of a play and the little one ahs been dominating the stage for too long. Tell him there's no longer a role for him and that...

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Is it true that the best way to get over an old love is to get under a new one? I think it's best to get over the old love first or your unresolved grief issues will interfere with any new relationships you form. If it's just casual sex you're thinking of and both parties are aware of the 'contract' then do whatever you want to distract yourself. But in the long run you should let yourself really feel the pain of loss and heal yourself, take time...

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Ugh my girlfriend needs time away from everyone(including me) because shes so overwhelmed lately. I hate it, I can't stand not talking! Her voice is so comforting. Anyways, any ideas on how I can cope with this? And a healthy outlook? Do you have a good friend you can talk to instead? Or, maybe ask if she's willing/able to chat on the phone once a week for a certain time. If she's feeling very frgaile and needs to be alone you must respect this as if you put pressure on her you'll push her further away. Use this time away from her to get interested in something for yourself, some sport activity or something...

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Have you ever none someone with Korsakoff Syndrome, alcohol dementia.? What was the onset like and the progression? Try this website for further information. http//www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40001248

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Who is your favourite character in King Lear? Cordelia. She is the epitome of love, loyalty, grace and perseverance.

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Whats a more correct way to say "sh*t-shoveling", in terms of lowest paid labour? Manual worker?

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Do you think that "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" should be taught in schools? Why or why not? Yes, of course it should. It's a bit like asking if 'The Holocaust' story should be told. Why suppress/dismiss what is a fairly accurate representation of a cultural and historical reality? Fiction allows us a glimpse into the psyche of the society at the time it was written. We all understand the term, 'Uncle Tom' now and it's become part of the vernacular that...

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If something is described as neither here nor there, what does it mean? For that matter, how did that phrase come about? If it's neither here nor there then it's not tangible, visible or relative so doesn't come into the equation. Where did it originate? Like all these old sayings they just spring up and get a life of theri own until they become obsolete in the language. Some last for years - others go out of fashion quite quickly.

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I have a habit of eating between meals im trying to stop this but i constantly think about food and im affraid i might become fat what should i do? Stop thinking of food as 'good' or 'bad' - not as 'forbidden fruit' - it's just food. Eat a protein packed breakfast that will satisfy you until lunch. Then eat more or less what you like. After 5pm eat no carbohydrates but eat some fish, chicken or lean meat with green vegetables or salad. Exercise regularly - even brisk walking, don't obsess about it,...

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Are you a challenge? I'm not a game show - but you might be 'The Weakest Link'!

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Is it ethical to own some human bones, if found on the beach having fallen away from a clifftop 700 year old cemetary? No. Imagine if those bones were the remains of your mother.

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This is very important to me: Are moral values learned from experience and society, or are they inborn? Do you feel bad about doing something "wrong", when nobody ever told you it was wrong? Some things we're born with. Survival depends upon mutuality of certain basic instincts - to love, to protect, to support etc., If this is missing there's something wrong. We can learn morality but we are born with feelings. We 'know' waht's good or bad from the start.

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Would you abort a baby with Down Syndrome or severe disability? Statistics say 93% of people do. This is a hypothetical question. I had a heated discussion with another pregnant friend of mine. Please keep it polite. Surely, the 'real' answer is who do we think we are? Life and death are not really ours to decide. With advanced science we expand our knowledge and our 'choices'. We do not know what we are destroying/refusing when life gives us an opportunity to be bigger than we think we are. I would prefer not to know in advance and then to be given (or find) the strength to deal with...

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Have you ever felt like God is ignoring you? No, but I've realized that there have been times that I ignored Him.

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Of course I remembered it was your birthday(actually I didn't) my love....the reason I didn't get you anything is because............? I'm sorry but I forgot your birthday. Would you like to go out to dinner in a really nice restaurant, with champagne and the works, then I'll take you to the theatre/shopping/to a health spa/ ???? whatever... I would prefer someone to be honest than make lame excuses. I'd also like the 'consolation' prizes! haha! - feel guilty!)

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How could i have been so blind, to let my ex use my body&fill my head up with hope that we could work things out? I read somewhere that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. So, you're not alone out there. Don't beat yourself up, look carefully at what you wnat/need from a relationship, maybe this one didn't have the right ingredients? By the way SexyC - it was YOU who allowed your body to be 'used' and you who filled your own head with hope. This isn't to...

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I've just been dumped & dont know why. All was going really well,he was making me dinners,smsing me all day every day,I met his family & then all of a sudden he ended it & said he saw no future for us. Why?Should I try getting back together with him? Would you really want to be with somebody who hasn't got the maturity or respect to talk things through with you? He must know that you were getting in deep there and maybe he was too, for a while but got scared of commitment and bailed out. He should still talk to you about it. You're better off without him even if you still like him. There's going to be someone who gives you...

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After you break-up&end up spending a night with ex, do you think that it's because they want you back or because they are just used to sleeping with you? It takes two to tango. If you still want each other then maybe you should try to sort out your differences? If not then if it's going to mkae things harder for you then don't sleep with him again. Familiarity makes it easier to relax with someone so sometimes people do this for mutual comfort. If it acts as a stepping stone for you both, then why worry?

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Tell me the truth...my ex&i hung out all night last friday til mid afternoon on sat,&he hasn't tried to make plans to see me today, which is friday. (We have spoken everyday since then.) what would you think? please be blunt, i need it. thanks I think you know the answer already - as you said, he's your EX. Sorry, I know you still think of him, but he isn't thinking of you in the same way any more. It always hurts to realize this, but try to accept the pain and gradually you'll feel better. Make plans for yourself honey, and soon you'll forget about him too.

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In the nursery rhyme I learnt when I was five point two, was Puff the Magic Dragon a FICTITIOUS animal, or not? Is Santa Claus real?

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I was kissed unexpecetly by a girl at a party.I knew she had a fella & I have a girlfriend and was actually shaking with shock after.It lasted 2 seconds til i realised what was happening as I was drunk.Moved away right away.Been 100% faithful for 5 years You weren't disloyal. Lots of us have kissed a stranger at a party, and forgotten all about it afterwards. It's not worth feeling guilty about nor is it worth upsetting your partner of five years. Maybe you were a little shocked by yourself, maybe you felt a little 'turned on' but, so what? You're only human. If you were a bit turned on then it's just proof that...

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Don't even GO there!!....(don't go where)? To me it's one more of those horrid cliches or catch-words that run through our vernacular like a a virus - contagious and difficult to shake off once you've caught it. In this case it means, 'Don't ask questions I can't bear to answer and am all too aware that I ought to.' People develop shorthand, that's fine, but when you come up against...

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How do i know if i had an orgasm i think i might of had one...but i dont really know I think you'd know if you did. If you were male then there'd probably be no doubt. You need to trust your partner, relax and let your body take you to where you want to be. Sex improves with practice, in my experience and when you've got it right it can be quite addictive and also wonderful. Good luck to you.

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My boyfriend and I just broke up after seven years, I caught him in a lie. Not a cheating lie a trust lie, something he promised never do do again. What can you say to me to make me realize we can never get back together? I've come into this a little late, sorry, but you have helped me before so I will offer what I can to you. I'm very sorry that you are suffering as you have a fine and sensitive mind and I'm sure you're a lovely lady. If the lie was about behaviour that impacts upon you in a negative way and he can't help this behaviour because of some compulsion (addiction?) then...

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Why do people with an "I don't give a $h*t about anything or anyone" attitude, do better financially & other people desire them more? Maybe there's a certain type of business person who actually has sociopathic tendencies (quite a few do!) so they're not troubled by a little thing called conscience, don't suffer guilt and therefore can do things that many of us couldn't, without a thought for the consequences. This type of person also knows how to charm people in order to get what they want; approval,...

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Is it possible to get into a relationship on AB?Has anyone been ''going out" with someone from AB? I've experienced some of the most meaningful exchanges here on AB and wished I could have known that person in 'real-life', but I realize there are so many factors to be considered in a proper relationship that trying to get more personal might just be a fool's game and spoil what we already share here. I'm not knocking the idea that it could happen for someone else -...

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What are the main things to consider when dating someone that is not over their previous relationship? You need to consider that probably the person will be pre-occupied with thoughts and memories of their old love and may even need to make this the main conversation with you. This could lead you to feel jealous and 'second-best', it may be that you will develop a co-dependant relationship - like 'Nurse/Patient'. And also, if the person seems 'crippled' and helpless...

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Do you think sometimes your mom or dad could not care if you where died or live sometimes? my mom can be VERY cold sometimes. i feel guilty if i do not talk to her so what would you do? I think that sometimes parents can be very unaware of how they affect their children. Your mother's coldness feels like a real rejection to you but to her it may just be that she's distancing herself from her own anger/irritation etc., and she's avoiding conflict in this way. (I'm sure that most parents do care whether you live or die and where you live). Maybe if you try...

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My mind wanders way too often. How do I lose this habit & how hard is it to lose? As well as maybe seeing a professional, you could try meditation, it really helps you to focus and free yourself from distractions.

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Have you ever dreamed something that came true the next day? In a way. I dreamed that my first husband whom I hadn't seen for over twelve years visited and gave me a parcel. When I tried to greet him and invite him in (it was my mother's house where I'd lived till we married) he backed off and kept trying to push the parcel towards me. I took it and he left. I understood this meant 'a message'. The next day I saw in the paper...

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I had a dream that i was physically with someone else and when i woke this morning i felt like i had cheated on my partner.I love him so much and would never cheat on him,i feel very guilty thou i dont know why,Has anyone else had this happen to them? Sometimes we might imagine this about someone we actually are attracted to so we do a sort of 'rehearsal' in our dreams. No harm done, we are allowed to fancy other people - it's actually doing something about it that causes problems. But I tend to think that such dreams are a result of our Unconscious bringing us into touch with our animus (anima for a male). The animus/anima is...

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How early can signs of pregnancy occur and about headaches during pregnancy how early does one start getting the headaches...taking into consideration i've never had headaches before in my life? Signs can occur quite early, a matter of weeks, such as breast and nipple changes. Headaches might indicate high blood pressure, though and should be investigated by your doctor as high blood pressure in pregnancy can lead to pre-eclampsia - but that's usually late in a pregnancy. Either way, get yourself checked out both for your own good and the baby's welfare. Good luck.

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Ladies, if your husband killed his girlfriend, would you assist him in cleaning up the murder scene and help to set the evidence on fire? Unimaginable what some people will do in the name of love! Surely she ought to have realized that if he could be so monstrous he could be monstrous towards her some day? This kind of 'love' is actually a sickness and the phrase 'folie a deux' comes to mind - it's possible for people to 'infect' each other with their madness. This woman is as guilty of heinous...

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Has anyone seen God? Every time I look into another's eyes. God is right ther/here with all of us all the time. Especially when we look with love.

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Are people mean to others becaue they are jealous or unhappy? Can a truly happy person be mean? Yes, I think they are jealous or unhappy. In my experience when you're happy you want the whole world to be happy too and it sort of spills over, like sunshine lighting up all the dark corners. It's important to be happy 'cos when we're mean we're really only hurting ourselves.

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When was the last time you had to tear yourself away from that special someone to get home, and by the time you got to your car, you missed them? Yesterday. I feel like a teenager whenever I see him. Wish he felt the same!

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When do you need to phone three nines? In the UK for an emergency - Fire, Ambulance or Police.

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Do you believe that some people do very destructive things to others, repeatedly, and never receive any retribution for this in their entire life? Sadly, this is so. Look at serial killers who don't get caught until they're old, then maybe they kill themselves, anyway. Or never get found out at all. It may be that karma comes later for some of us. Personally, I think that the more aware we become of the consequences of our actions the more rapidly does the 'karmic' backlash arrive. The way that I manage to deal with...

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I need a list of bad people to be stuck on a desert island with (not real people, just generic types, ie. a murderer, a drug addict etc) - its for a class i hav to give 2moro!! thanks!! Have you already got a rapist, a paedeophile, a sociopath - not necessarily a murderer, but with the classical tendencies of a sociopath, a thief, a drug dealer (worse than an addict, surely?) a pimp...? If you need more let me know??

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How does a women who doesn't trust other women...Learn how to? I used to be the same when I was younger, then I got into therapy and realized it wan't other women I didn't trust but my own mother - things had happened (not her fault) to me as a child that had created this belief that she wasn't there for me. (I could weep remembering my feelings of hostility and rejection towards her for years! Sadly she died last year, but by then we were...

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My Uncle's dog got mauled by a pitbull when it broke away from a child to attack her when she was in her own yard ignoring him. When my uncle asked the owners to use a chain, they said "IT HURTS HIM!" and refused to pay for damage. what do u think of this I would report this incident as this dog may well be dangerous - it's owners certainly are! But it needs to be reported to teh proper authorities in case another incident occurs and to protect other people. It is probably possible to sue for damages anyway.

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Why have behaivours and morals changed so much since the 1920's? After the First World War life changed dramatically in many ways, in Europe many men were lost in The Great War and women had to become more independent thus paving the way for greater equality and also coinciding with the breakdown of the rigid class system that had prevailed. With the second world war and the advent too, of reliable birth control methods people began to free themselves of...

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Does anybody still say "ma'am"? I imagine most of your answerers are American? In England the term isn't used, except to address the Queen if you are familiar (work or official 'conversation etc.,). It's also used in the military services and the prison service, but I think that's about it. In the street people might use 'Mrs' or 'Miss', but 'love', 'dear' and even...

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What is your favorite black and white photo? Off the top of my head, my first response was that great legendary shot (from a film) of Marilyn Monroe with her white pleated dress blowing up. Iconic. But on a personal level it's a photo of my dad (just head and shoulders)in army uniform nad with the soft, gentle expression and loving eyes I remember all my life. He died in 1975 and the photo stood on my mother's dresser until she...

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I'm in menopause for the past 2 1/2 years, i had no periods...but this past week...i had all symptoms and some bleeding today...is this normal? It might be normal but they say that the menopause is complete when you haven't had a period for two years. This could just be a slight hormonal thing that's caused the bleeding etc., But you really should see your doctor as it may be a symptom of something else and you shouldn't ignore unusual bleeding, ever.

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My boyfriends been getting mad @ me lately because i wont give him my all but its hard ive been hurt so much. i dont want to hurt him but i dont want to get hurt. ive told him & he promised not too but ive heard it before so im afraid. what can i do? I can understand your fear but if your boyfriend seems honorable in other ways, treats people with love and respect, has lots in common with you and communicates with you then you will know what he's truly like. If you think he's trustworthy then love him like there's no tomorrow - 'cos pretty soon there won't be. Life is too short, my darling. Go for it! lol

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I have two staffys that me and my husband have had since puppies, they have always got on really well but lately youngest has attacked the other,both times were heartbreaking and i dont know why this has happening now when they were so close. any ideas? I agree with the other answers. I had two dogs and one started to try for dominance so I observed them closely and when the trouble started I fired a powerful water pistol into the face of the aggressor (the youngest too, as it happened. This had an astonishing effect of shocking and subduing the dog instantly. If she went back for more after getting over the shock she got fired at again. The...

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Is it normal to feel faint when taking out/putting earrings in? If you've only recently had your ears pierced I'd say it was pretty normal. When I first had mine done I felt very sqeamish about taking them out and putting them back. I had to sit down sometimes and even ask my husband to take the earrings out for me. I think it was to do with feeling a bit 'traumatized' from the actula piercing. Even tho' it's fairly minor in...

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My bf's frend just died. My bf told me then said he didnt want to talk bout it cuz he didnt want to burst out crying.he is out gettin drunk right now.he did not ask me to come or for comfort, told me to lay off.i want to be there for him. wut should i do? When we lose someone there is grief and anger, as well as a lot of other emotions. Sounds as if your BF is feeling some of that anger and if he's close to you then that's the way he's showing it, by cutting himself off, rejecting you. Try not to take it personally. He'll work it out in his own way. Just be yourself, cook a nice meal perhaps, act casual and friendly, not too...

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What do you believe the "blue print" should be to produce moral people in our society. How can we help in developing "character" in our hometowns? Who does the teaching? Personally, I think 'morality' is having an awareness that we are all connected and that we should never harm others intentionally by our actions or words. I would like to see philosophers (non-denominational)in schools teaching/talking to kids from the age of seven up. They could build this into the curriculum so that there were two or three sessions a week with a forum for...

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This girl tld me to to call her 2nite because she wants to start tlkin to me i know her well but i dont know wat to say to her any ideas? I agree with Gold. Ask her questions, get her to talk then she'll feel you're interested in her and then too, she'll ask you questions and before you know it, you'll be friends. (Dont' know why some people DR'd you? Perhaps 'text-talk' puts them off? I gave you some points to try to make up. lol x)

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How do you make white chili? I use chicken, yellow peppers instead of red, and white beans. I still use hot little red chillies tho' as I like it good and spicy.

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1 guy dates 2 women for 3 years. He pretends to be two different people. Has anyone else heard of this & how do you find closure when the person you love never really existed but was created by a person who was a liar, a cheater a fake and a fraud? I've heard of people living double lives, yes... poor you, how awful is that? First, you need to mourn the loss of your love (even if it was based on a false premise), the loss of that part of you that was invested in that love, and the loss of your illusions and trust. Big, I know. Cry, get angry, talk to people, friends, therapist, AB'ers until you're done with the sadness and...

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Explain your best friend in one word. Special!

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Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears. Is that true? In a sense yes. But we are all wired differently, so some people, regardless of their gender, are visual. Some are audial, some kinaesthetic and others intellectual/thinking. A lot of men are visual and that's fairly basic, but then if what they heard and thought after the initial input didn't add up they wouldn't be 'in love'. Same for women, a woman might listen,...

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My grandma is 98 and she wont eat nothing, what can we do? how can we make her eat? we are really desesperated. My 87 year old mother stopped eating some months before she died of undiagnosed rectal cancer. Your grandmother needs medical advice first. Get her nourishing drinks, the type you get from the pharmacy for invalids. Just be kind to her, maybe her time is coming near and it's just nature working on her. It's no use trying to force her or feeling bad or guilty about her, she's...

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How do you know when it is a good thing to get back together with your ex? Is it ever a good thing? Or is it just a complete waste of time? Even if after spending six months apart and both have a better and more mature understanding of what went wrong. If you both still lvoe each other then there's a good chanvce of improving things. If, though, you haven't chnaged fundamentally (both of you) and haven't talked through what went wrong, why and how it can be changed for the better in future then just getting back won't work in the long run. You need to sit down together, or maybe see a relationship therapist then work out...

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What's lust got to do with it? Desire is the beginning thought of all creation. It's a beginning I guess? Tho' if it comes disguised as love and hurts someone else then it's not so desirable - but, I heard that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love - if so, then we all get what we want in the end. Lust is an appetite, without it we wouldn't be here.

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What do you think of those polygamist "mothers"? Maybe they're not very bright or they've been duped by a charismatic leader into believing they were building a better world. Very unrealistic really.

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My wife received a love sms from a colleague who provided her emotional support during a period of strained relationships between us.She continued talking and smsing him saying that he was a nice person and she has done nothing wrong and nt betrayed m People in that sort of close relationship can imagine they're in love - either one or both of them. Tell your wife that you understand how vulnerable she must have felt and that of course another man might feel protective and loving towards her. But, now you are together properly she must trust in you for emotional support and put that friendship back onto a more distant footing. Accept...

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Hope someone can help me here with out being judgemental i had a emotional affair with a 26year old guy i was separeted from my husband of 29years i have two kids one 23year old and one 20year old. the advice is that i want is how to let go of my affair Sometimes we fall in love with someone who has qualities we need at that time. Love isn't always forever. Perhaps this young man met your need just for that time. Why feel guilty? You can 'let go' when you accept that we are all capable of loving more than one person. If you're holding on to guilt then forgive yourself, your only crime was to be available and loving....

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I'm writing a novel, and have two titles in mind -- "All Roses Have Thorns" and "The Scavenger's Daughter". What is your first impression of each, what assumptions would you make about the story based on each, and which would you be more likely to read? The first title sounds a bit too romantic for my taste and I might pass it by. The second sounds more interesting - more vengeful, maybe? Is that what you want? If it's a fairly serious and challenging book I'd go with the latter title. (By the way, all answers have a points button! lol.:)

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What do you suppose the last newspaper headline(s) said before the presses shut down for the last time in the events of "I Am Legend?" Probably something like, 'Government advises everyone to STAY AWAY FROM WORK PLACES to contain spread of deadly virus!'

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In the events of "I Am Legend," what do you suppose was the dialog on the news before going off the air for the last time? Maybe, 'The recent epidemic has resulted in severe staff shortages, therefore we will be off the air for a while until suitable replacements can be found. Meanwhile, we would advise you not to go out unless you really need to.'

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Someone asked a question about horror movies but I can't find it so I will answer it with a question. Has anyone here seen "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"? Yes, it's brilliant and proves that all the 'shock-horror' tactics, screaming demons and music that's louder than the actors is a con to take our attention away from the fact that often it's just a bad movie. Bette Davis was a fantastic actress and this film shows her talents off to the best for me.

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What do you notice about a person whom you meet for the first time? Their eyes.

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How do I get my husband to leave? We live in my Mothers house with no rental agreement and he pays half the rent with cash. Can I just throw him and his stuff out on the street and change the locks? Depends how big he is and if he has tough mates! If you think he'd just take it, then you could try it. But it might be better to talk to a lawyer and get him evicted legally if you want or are getting a divorce. This would give him the chance to find other accommodation. If he's violent then you could get him removed by the police.

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Anyone out there "missin' they block"? No intiendo, perdon?

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How about a troll downrating section where they can go and downrate to their hearts content and leave those with a double digit (and above) IQ alone? And are all Trolls truly impotent? Into every garden a little rain (and troll?) must fall. What would life be without its irritations?

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Why are we consumed by consumption? Because most of us are so empty?

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Is unbridled frankness ever unwelcome? I agree with Jodie - 'brutal truth' is brutal. Especially if unasked for. Even when requested, frankness should be diluted with human kindness and empathy. There are ways of saying what you really think without destroying the other person. 'Unbridled' - even the word sounds dangerous, like wild horses and all that...

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How can you heal anger or treat it?? in short how can you get rid of it? I think anger always masks hurt, how can we be angry if we're not hurt by something/someone? When I get in touch with the underlying hurt I can release this, maybe by crying, or just feeling my pain. Anger can be expressed assertively - not aggressively. This means speaking out clearly and firmly to the person you feel hurt by and naming your emotions, like, ' I feel very hurt by what...

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How do I feel by the end of the day, Are you sad because you're on your own? Sometimes, yes, but then I find something to take me out of it. Like Answerbag! Or a good movie, or an interesting book or a nice warm bath and a bit of pampering, toe-nail cutting and painting works a treat! I've struggled with loneliness and it's taken me years to recognize that I have to look after my Inner Child if I want peace of mind. So now, I tell her, 'sshh, little baby,...

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Why is it so important to feel secure about yourself? If we feel insecure we can make our own and others lives a misery, constantly seeking reassurance, not believing in ourselves, being untrusting and feeling unworthy are just some of the problems. If we're secure inourselves we don't try to please others all the time just to get approval. We are happy to be ourselves and don't need to put on a 'false' front. If...

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Who dries your tears? Me, generally. Though I have a couple of good friends I can talk to if I really need to.

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Im new to this school & ive been here for a month almost two & i still feel left out. & it makes me not want to talk to anyone. even the person i like & ive liked him for awhile but being new i feel uncomfortable. what can i do to feel like i belong? It must be hard on you, feeling excluded from what appears to be a big group of people all in harmony. Firstly, remember there must be others who feel like you. No one can tell how you feel from just looking at you - they may think thye can but they can't really. Secondly, tell people that you feel a bit lonely/shy and ask if they ever felt like that. Thirdly, are there any...

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What studies have been done on anomie? I seem to think Durkheim did work on anomie, amongst other sociologists of course.

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Would you feel degraded if a man you dated told you he just wanted to persue friendship and sex with you? Not necessarily degraded - at least he's being honest and many men would tell you anything in order to have sex with you, then let you down later. At least he wants to be friends too. You can always refuse. You know where you stand with him too, so it's a clear choice for you. If you want more then just stay friends until something bigger happens along.

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Do you think there is a "middle" class? Depends what country you're living in up to some extent, I think. If you're thinking of the UK for example, then there has long been a noticeable hierarchy of class, even tho' many now believe there is less distinction between the classes. The 'upper class' or aristocracy are still present, though no longer the exclusive owners of the vast majority of the country's...

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A guy tells you he wants to sleep with you in one bed but not have sex. Can it be sincere or will he try to have sex and thats a way to get you in bed with him? It's hard not to have sex when you're so close and relaxed together. If you are attracted to each other the chemistry and natural biological urges will take precedence in the middle of the night. You'd be better advised to decide whether you want and are ready for a sexual commitment then at least you go into it with your eyes 'wide open' rather than half or fully...

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What do you do when you know someone doesnt like you as much you like them? Or when you put them on a pedestal but they dont realise how much effort you put in? We need to realize that its our own low self-esteem that causes us to idealize someone else. The best relationships are equal in commitment and caring. If the other person doesn't feel the same then what we are doing is just projecting onto them all our own 'good' (but unrecognized) qualities. There's nothing we can do to make them care in the same way. Get on with your life...

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What should i do? i met this guy awhile ago, but i'm always busy. he said it feels like he's always chasin me for a date, so i gave him my # but he never called. he said i make him kinda nervous. Are you saying you like him now? Is that because he doesn't seem so interested, after all? Because if you do really like him you mustn't mess his head up, you must mean it. He was intimidated by you because you seemed so unavailable, so disinterested. He feels inferior having to 'chase you' for a date. No guy (or girl for that matter!) wants to be doing this sort of...

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Does anyone know or is a convicted felon? Please read my answer, there's not enough room I just entered this question a bit late in the day, but from what I gather, Lisa, the man has shown himself in his true colours? Well, I have to say that drug addiction is harder to erase than say, youthful 'joy-riding' or shop-lifting as it's a dependent personality problem that leads to addiction, so the chances of relapse are quite high. I know some felons and I have to say...

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What are the definate signs that a guy/ girl is playing you? or tagging you along? Inconsistency. Broken promises. Not being there on a regular basis, not asking about you and your life. Not calling you. Only seeing you when it suits them. If you have someone like this in your life then drop them now, before they really hurt you. And don't be surprised if that makes him come running - he's on an ego trip for sure, so don't go there. lol x

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Can an aquarius male and a Libra/Scorpio cusp female romantic relationship work? Aquarians and Librans are both air signs so should get on fine, with the passionate and sexual Scorpionic influence this lady should also appeal to the Aquarian's need for variety and love of experiment in all things - she'll have the drive and he'll have the imagination - wow! Great combination. Do they also have lots in common and have shared goals and values? Those are...

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How can I help my new shih tzu puppy not be scared of men? Get a nice, gentle male friend to visit regularly with a treat for her/him. Let your friend stoop down and offer the treat without approaching too near so that the puppy learns to trust him and come to him. It won't be difficult then to introduce other males in a similar manner. She'll soon get used to being handled and played with by men.

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Have you ever killed someone? No, but I have known several people who have.

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How does one know that he /she has met his /her soul mate Soulmates just know immediately when they meet that there is some sort of strange knowledge they share. It is always mutual, deep and spiritual - not just a physical desire, tho' of course there is an urge to merge! And, maybe the relationship won't be forever, either. Perhaps its to do with past-life experiences and we have to work something out, like unfinished business, sort of...

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Whenever i look/talk to my ex i still feel sad because of the break up..is this normal or do i just still love her?(its been 4 months) I still love my husband tho' we broke up eight months ago after 27 years together. But he refuses to try again, he's cut me off emotionally and tho' I felt terrible for the first 5 or 6 months it's getting a bit easier now. I know he didn't give me what I needed from a relationship and he just isn't able to be a different person so I'm trying to realize that...

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HOW DO I WIN MY EX-GIRLFRIEND BACK IF SHES SEEING SOMEONE? WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER IN THE LAST YEAR OF OUR RELATIONSHIP AND I'VE BECOME HER BEST FRIEND (SOUL MATE) I WONT HER ON MY ARM AS THE LOVE OF OUR LIVES... WHAT CAN I DO? I really feel for you, it's so painful when you love someone who doesn't reciprocate. It sounds as if the events of the past year may have been difficult and sometimes we can bond with someone more as a result of going through hard times together. But, in a way, this is unreal as its based on need and dependency and not on an equal foundation of mutual liking and respect. Did she...

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What is love? Love is about feeling complete with another person, just that one person who gives us that feeling of complete connection. We can love many people in different ways, but 'romantic love' between two people consists of wanting them to be happy and feeling good when they are, feeling sad for them when they're down and wishing always to share with them.

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Is there any credible evidence today of the Great Flood described in the Bible? Yes. But don't quote me, I can't give you the reference but I definitely remember reading about it. The Great Flood happened, but it may have been relatively small - in the 'known world' - that was then. But serious live and tribes were lost! To them it was the whole world.

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Our gorgeous, fun loving SWEET T has made it to Maestro, who would like to come to her party with me and wish her congratulations? Congratulations SWEET T! I will look out for your wise words now. lol x

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When it comes to one's parents, is respect still due them if they do not respect thier child in turn? If they have done nothing to gain respect? (or is the simple fact that they have raised the child garner respect from them?) If your parents have been actually abusive towards you in some way how can they expect your respect? It's a hard one, this. If they haven't shown you respect then you must feel hurt and humiliated by them, I'm sorry if this is so. Perhaps when we picture our parents as children themselves and imagine how they were brought up we can begin to understand/forgive them. In that way we...

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What is your definition of happiness? A feeling of completeness in myself. I know it doesn't depend on external factors but believe it is to do with feeling connected to special others - not in a dependant way but in a close, loving and mutual way, so that we don't feel alone in the world.

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What would like to able to wear this summer? I'd love to wear cute short skirts, those little frilly 'ra-ra' types but my legs are not my best feature, my thighs are too lumpy for my liking!

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Do you think people would prefer to attend a weekly course in the summer or in the autumn? Personally, I'd say autumn as the dark days begin to descend again and bring me down - I think I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) so something that takes my mind out of itself and gets me out of the house is best. Whereas, in the summer there are so many other things to do and life is more out-doors and sociable so too many distractions anyway.

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Which is your favourite feature of your body? Why? My eyes which are a greeny-brown colour. All my life people have told me that I 'talk' with my eyes and paid compliments. If the eyes ar truly 'the windows of the soul' then I count myself lucky that my soul is up there on view and reaching out to people.

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What would you do if a friend of yours, who happens to be depressed, sent you a message saying that tonight might be his last night, but you have no way of contacting him and he lives over two hours away from you? A friend of mine once phoned in the middle of the night and begged me to go over there. Problem was it was snowing and icy and below zero, she lived an hour's drive away (in good weather!) and I had a husband and kids to think of too. I told her that I couldn't go but assured her I cared for her and that we would talk tomorrow, or I would drive over then. I explained the dangerous...

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How many times would you put up with a friend lying to you? What kind of a friend is this? A close friend, a 'special' friend, or an acquaintance, one of the crowd? If the latter I'd give him/her a wide smile and a wide berth. If the former, 'close'/'special' then I would seriously consider the possibility that this 'friend' has deep issues even possibly a sociopathic personality disorder. Love - of any sort...

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If you were in your mid-50's and diagnosed with a cataract, would you try corrective lenses first or just get the surgery and have it over with? I think that this is a question that your eye specialist should answer. I have heard that they don't operate on cataracts until they reach a certain stage, if this has happened already then there is no cure so you might as well go for the operation - quite a straightforward procedure, I believe. Good luck, your sight is precious, do what you can to preserve it.

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Can you love someone who can't love themselves? Yes, but you will get hurt because if they can't love themselves how can they love others? So, it will be a one-sided realtionship and for love to be truly satisfying and fulfilling it needs to be reciprocal and equal.

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Do you think destiny intertwines no matter what the circumstances? I think destiny is what makes us take certain actions in life such as moving to another country, or anything that has the potential for major change. You might have a desire but you can't always fulfill it, why? I think that's where destiny plays a part. When things happen easily for you, when you have strokes of 'luck' (good or ill), when someone important comes along or...

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My relationship is a rollercoaster. My boyfriend was abandoned as a child and now displays both addictive and escapest (comes in very close then disappears) tendancies in our relationship. What do I do? I just want to love him. Sounds as if he's afraid of being hurt again. His abandonment as a child will have left him with emotional scars and ideally, he needs therapy. All you can do is be there for him, be consisitent and reassuring. The problem is that you might find yourself 'caretaking' like in a 'nurse/patient' relationship. Is this what you want? Your happiness matters too but if...

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I'm in a long distance relationship with my gf and she has started hanging out more with friends going to bars. I have to trust her. I KNOW she loves me and I love her. If I ask too many questions it's as if I don't trust her. It's hard being away from someone you love but it sounds as if she loves you too, cares for your feelings. She has to socialize with her freinds, you can't expect her to stay at home until you meet. Maybe you could try expanding your own social life a bit, that way you would feel a little less dependant on her and you'd be able to talk about what you've been up to instead of...

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Do you love one person? if so, how can you show your love to him/her? They say that actions speak louder than words.

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Can you describe in one word how the person/s you love most makes you feel? Connected.

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What month are most people born? I either heard or read a long time ago that it was August, or is this hearsay? I was born in August, so was my father and my youngest son. Perhaps it has to do with those long dark nights of winter making us cuddle up for warmth and comfort more?

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If me and my boyfriend are 29 mounths apart can we date? Age gaps matter less as you grow older. What's a couple of years between freinds? If he's the youngest and say, only about 13 while you're 16 then you might find him a bit immature for you right now. But if you were 32 and he was coming up to 30 you wouldn't consider it an issue I imagine?

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Jung said," Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves." You say, " everything that irritates us about others _____." Is a part of ourselves. I tend to agree with Jung. What irritates me about others are the things I have 'disowned' in myself and don't wish to be reminded of. Otherwise, why react?

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Do some of you like using bleach as much as I do for house hold cleaning? There's something strangely satisfying about the efficiency of bleach and the smell it leaves behind makes you feel everything's thoroughly clean and hygienic. But, actually, I find it a little on the harsh side and prefer 'softer' cleaners most of the time. Bleach is good in the bathroom tho'.

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What is worse: a friend moving away or losing touch with a friend who lives right near you? For me it's worse when someone I've been close to leaves the area, I feel a real sense of grief and loss if we've been good friends and really miss them. But when I lose touch with someone nearby I realize that on some level we must both have wanted to - or, at least, not needed the freindship enough to keep it going.

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Have you ever thought that a particular song is perfect for something, but when you look at the words realize it would be totally inappropriate? Yes, but can't think of an example off the top of my head, right now. I know what you mean tho', it's important to check out the words of songs if you want to make them significant in some way.

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Where angels around before humans? Yes. Lucifer was an angel, remember? But I'm not at all sure if they 'look human', that's just man's limited imagination or stories we hear sometimes, we have no proof. But in the Bible it says that Man was created in God's image and some of the angels were jealous. But I also get the impression that angels are terrifying to behold - is this because they look so...

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Will you be bored in Heaven? No. Whatever 'heaven' turns out to be I believe it will be heavenly.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what does the snow of December bring? A white Christmas? And, as Bette Midler sings: 'Just remember, in the winter, far beneath the frozen snows lies the seed which with the sun's love in the Spring becomes the Rose.'

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How much are you worth at the Facebook - Owned!- application? I am worth 1.6 Million at Facebook Owned! My photos are worth 650,000. Isn't it fun to Own, buy and sell friends (well it least their pictures)? Did you give away anyone yet as a present? Hey Royal! Welcome back, I missed you loads and thought that you had taken on a new identity as Beef Chuck! Now I realize where you've been all this time - on Facebook!? Never mind, good to see you agian. I don't know much about Facebook, someone invited me to join but I didn't bother. Giving away friends sounds weird, I like to keep my friends to myself, I'm greedy! haha!

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If music washes away the dust from the soul, what do the visual arts do? It wipes away the cobwebs from your eyes. Sometimes makes you see afresh that which yuo never truly saw befor and adds to your sense of harmony and joy in the world.

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How can i remove cigerette smoke from leather waist coat Clean the leather shell with saddle soap, sponge the lining with a mild detergent solution (don't get it too wet) then hang it inside out on a clothes line to air the lining.

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How do you invoke angels when you need them and is it dangerous? Well, Lucifer was an angel, remember? So, I guess it could be dangerous. There are a lot of people around now who believe in angels and that they have their own personal angels too. In the Bible it says that angels are messengers from God and that they do His bidding, not the bidding of Man. Why not try invoking your own Higher Self? We all have access to parts of ourselves that can guide and...

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Since shamanic journeying at the weekend Ive been filled with divine energy,love for all, bubbling forth, radiating out, rapture and bliss and surges of spiritual energies, increasing all the time. Everything looks so different. Whats happening to me? Depends on whether your 'journey' was drug-assisted? If so, then this will be the result of a chemical cocktail and perhaps not to be relied on or thought of as a permanent state. But if it was induced by the experience itself then I guess that you have released endorphins and dopamine in the brain which are produced when we 'fall in love'. Something similar seems to be...

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Is there one teacher you would love to thank for what they taught you? Who was that and what would you thank them for? Mr Washington, tho' he'd be ancient if he's still around! He taught me English, always my favourite subject and he so enjoyed my essays that he would turn to the end, give me full marks, a friendly wink from his twinkling blue eyes and then, feet on his desk would sit back and blatantly enjoy the read! His trust in my ability was astounding and his show of confidence in turn...

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How can I write straight on plain paper? (I tend to write sideways) Line up another piece of paper (preferably a different colour) on top of the sheet you want to write on. Keep it level with the top of the page below and keep dragging it down as you complete a line.

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How reliable is lip reading? I can only speak from my own experience as a partially deaf person. I find that if I can see a person's mouth, even from the side then I can understand what they are saying, which is sometimes difficult if their face is obscured. The lips give 'shape' to the words - the speaker doesn't need to change their normal style of speech either. I acquired this skill unconsciously...

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Is a glottal stop not pronouncing the 'g' on such words as running and walking, or is it not pronouncing the t in such words as bottle and water? I think it's the latter - Londoners seem to have a genetic tendency to do this! (joke!!! :))

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What does "...that time forgot" mean? Could it be used to describe something's styling, as if it were outdated? Yes, it certainly could. It's often used to describe a place, though, as in 'the village that time forgot', meaning it is still the same as it was years before.

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When Lysol or Purell claim to kill 99.9% of all bacteria, isn't that useless information since how the .01% of bacteria remaining is usually the strongest & most potent bacterial? It must follow that the remaining percentage is as you say or it would have been dealt with. It's just a way of saying that nothing is perfect and totally effective against bacteria. But, at least our systems are not having to combat all 100% of the little blighters!

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Is it possible to "grow out of a relationship"? explain. People grow at different rates, like plants. What seemed to meet your needs at one stage of life is out of kilter at another. If one of the partners pursues a separate, new interest then their paths will often diverge as they have less in common.

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What is the proper past tense for the word "spring"? I remember my father saying, 'It's sprung a leak', and he was a plumber. So, 'sprung' seems to be a verb too, though past tense of the verb 'to spring'. Whereas, 'sprang' seems to be a corruption of the verb, though if a word becomes common usage it is effectively part of the language. The English language is marvellously stretchy.

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What does eternally rependent Mean? I think you mean 'resplendent'? It's from 'splendour/splendid', therefore, like Cleopatra, 'eternally resplendent', or forever so remarkable and splendid she deserves this hyperbole.

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Why is it proper to say something such as 'No Smoking', but it isn't proper to say 'Yes Smoking'? 'No' isn't only a dis-affirmative, it's quantitave too. Thus, we can say 'No men/women allowed', 'No pets', 'No children' etc., but it wouldn't be correct to say 'yes children' unless we are collectively addressing a group who have asked a question e.g 'can we have ice-cream?' One of the baffling and fascinating effects...

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What's so bad about curse words? What harm do they really do? Well, they are just words in actuality, but words have a form of magic about them in that they have a resonance that comes from their origins. So, if you think about it, they are a vehicle for emotion/energy and if we say we hate somebody or curse them in any way we are letting our feelings take a free ride without a proper driver. If I say 'I love you', how do you feel? Well,...

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Some stars have a tremendous chameleon-type quality about them--they are able to dramatically change their appearance all the time. #1 in my mind is Annie Lennox in her early videos. Who would you nominate? Elvis.

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I dated this guy for a year, he is muslim and im christian, when i met him he did not mention a girl he had who lived about 225miles away and he said it was an arranged relationship. one day he told me she is pregnant but begs me to stay with him. Puleeeze! Don't feel sorry for him! Feel sorry for yourself and this other poor woman who is going to be treated like a pile of doggy-do for the rest of her life. Do you want equality? If not, put on the veil and offer to be his second wife. There'll probably be others after you tho'.

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Is it weird that my 26 y/o boyfriend tickles his mom? It makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps you don't have that closeness with your own mother so you feel a bit jealous/uncomfortable? Ask yourself truthfully, what is this discomfort? If he still lives at home it may be that they still share a 'parent/child' relationship, yet he's a man to you. But sometimes it takes time (and a special girlfriend!) for the pair to separate properly. He's probably...

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Would you rather have a "freak in the sheets" or a "woman/gentlemen on the streets"? I think of a fab artist boyfriend in the 70's when I think of 'freaks' (the vernacular then) - so, since he was great between the sheets I'd have to opt for that rather than the local 'escort agency'! :)

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If your entire family was going to be sentenced to hell for all eternity & you had a choice to either burn with them or to pass through the pearly gates on your own, what would you do? You can choose your friends...A very true saying. Am I my brother's keeper? Another good saying. We all have choices and I would have to assume that their choices got them where they were. I only hope mine get me to where I want to be too.

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Have you ever gone to answer a question, seen that a previous answer has ALOT of detail and is very long, and decided not to answer because you think it won't even be paid attention to because someone else already wrote a book of an answer? Yeah, it can be a bit off-putting if you feel you've nothing to add. But, if the questioner has been given a good and full reply then, hey, why bother when there are other questions looking for answers all the time? ps you DID get an answer already! ;(

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Are human values scalar or vector?Don't we tend to develop them towards a particular direction, a particular set of people in most cases? Maybe this question was a bit difficult to answer for people since it's language is a bit obscure? I don't understand 'scalar' or 'vector' so can't really help you. But I guess that human values are dictated in society by a 'particular set of people'. Why don't you try re-phrasing this in simpler terms to see if you get more response? Hope I...

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More than science, life, philosophy, ethics etc. have more unanswered questions. But more of research goes only in science than these.Agree? Yes, I do agree. Maybe that's because the pursuit of relative, practical and provable 'truth' is seen as more useful in these material times we live in? Sad, but true.

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I have a Frigidaire Electric range. For the last few days the light that says "Hot Surface" will not go off. None of the surfaces are hot, though. All knobs are "off" the light has been on 24/7. What could be the problem? I'm not an electrician but my guess is there's a fuse out in the system somewhere. You ought to get an electrician to check it tho' as it could be misleading and hurt you one of these days?

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Do you drink Monster Energy drinks? If so, which color/flavor do you prefer? My favorite is the original green one, followed closely by Monster Assault (red). No, I don't drink them as they're not available here in Spain, where I live. Hope you get some more answers to this question, are you doing market research by any chance, haha?

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How long does it take for the Emperor penguins to get from the group to the sea for food and what distances do they cover? Sorry, but I can't answer it either! It's a bit of a specialist area but if you find out I'd be interested too. A good question for all that, you'd think SOMEONE would have replied with the correct answer by now, wouldn't you? If I find out I'll let you know.

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Do you think being an AB member has an effect on your karma? Yes, of course it does, inasmuch as anything we do that affects others is karmic. I usually put a lot of effort into my answers and take people seriously, treat them with respect, offer support etc., And, yes, it comes right on back to me too. With the occasional brick-bat of a down-rate for nothing at all! But, hey, that's like life, isn't it? So, yeah, instant karma on AB.

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Do you believe drug dealers are like cockroaches? I Do!! They should be exterminated like vermin. Drug-dealers are indeed a scourge on society, but like rats they will always be there. Mankind seems to have an in-built need for stimulation from drugs of all kinds, (coffee, chocolate, alcohol as well as 'hard' drugs). Where there's a demand there will always be a supply - it's a natural law. When you think of the pain, misery and degradation caused by drugs it makes you...

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Did you once think there was a neverland? You mean there isn't???

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What did you do that you have yet to apologize for? I undervalued my husband's way of showing his love for me. He was practical and not very communicative or physical. I am an impractical romantic and need communication on all levels. I allowed myself to be selfish and demanding, wanting him to be more like me and not realizing I should have appreciated him for who he was. Who knows, we might have still been together...?

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Have you ever lived somewhere in which you had to learn the language to be able to interact with the locals? If so, how did you manage to get by until you were fluent? Yes. When I first came to Spain I had no Spanish at all. A phrase book and a lot of sign language and desperation helped! A good memory helps too, repeating the right word or phrase when it's said to you and working it into your vocabulary as soon as possible. A big friendly smile and a genuine attempt to speak the lingo also got me lots of help and co-operation and some very good friends...

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Through your emergence from trouble times, do you find it easy to focus on the blessing? No, it's never easy. But eventually I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel again and know that everything has a reason. I do learn to focus on the 'blessing' or the learning from a situation but sometiems it can take a long time before that happens, it's not always apparent at the beginning. I know now tho' not to give up or give in to despair as I firmly...

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Have you ever had your dreams crushed? how did you react/recover? I have and I wasn't very good at handling it for quite a while. But eventually, I began to realize that my 'dreams' were just my expectations and that you can't expect anything from others, only yourself. Once I began to get my head around this I started to deal with the reality I was in and to try to make the best of the situation. It's still not perfect but at least I...

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I met a guy who once told me that he was lying in bed once and felt something dripping on him, he then turns over and sees a huge demon over his bed with three rows of teeth, now on a scale of 1-10 how weird is this? If he was on drugs at the time then not very weird, like maybe 3? If not, then was he suffering from any unusual mental stress as this could lead to hallucinations of this type? So, then maybe a 6. If he was schizophrenic or suffering from a psychotic break I'd give him 9. But if you're trying to say he was perfectly normal and one night this happened, I'd say either he's...

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Have a sister who is very much wanting to leave her common law husband, she has three boys with him, she just lost her 6 year old this past October, and now has a 6month old and a 5 year old, she has really no where to go and just stays with him because s If the relationship is abusive then she needs to find a safe place and get out as soon as possible. But if this is a grief reaction then she may need to give herself time to begin to recover from her sad loss. Sometimes, when people close to us die we go into a spin and want to run away from everything. It sounds as if she could use some counselling to help her see where she is and what's...

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Should I be concerned if everytime I see my neighbor, he's peering through his window with binoculars...it's kind of creepy & I don't know what I should say to him? If he's looking into your house then get a pair of binoculars yourself and look right back at him! That should put the wind up him!

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My husband is very abusive to me and our children physically and emotionally, our kids are just 3years and 13moths, for the sake of history behind our marraige, I plan to stay with him no matter what, he love my kids but his temper is unbearable. There's not a lot I can add to the above - very sensible - answers. Except to say that you are colluding in abusing your children. What makes you think that 'the history behind your marriage' is more powerful than your children's present and future? Let me just say that the guilt you will feel one day if you don't leave him now will make life even more unbearable for...

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Which artist was a one-hit wonder, but, in your opinion, shouldn't have been? Please explain. Robin (Clive)Sarstedt, 'My Resistance is Low'. He's Peter Sarstedt ('Where Do You Go To, My Lovely?)and Eden Kane's brother. His voice is really good, he plays great guitar and he is very good looking, all the ingredients are there but maybe the luck was missing? Even tho' he's as old as The Stones he's still a great performer!

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How do i deal with a extremely stubborn boyfriend? Tell him that long-term relationships depend upon a certain stubborness, a refusal to give in to the pressures exerted by life. But that msot long-term relatinships also require a stubborn refusal to stick with only one point of view - theirs. So, while you admire his tenacity, would he please limit it to certain principles and 'stubbornly' refuse to allow his past conditioning to...

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If your are not where you want to be where would you like to go? it could be any situation place, or state of mind, or state of being. I would like to be in a state of peace and harmony with my s/o so that all the misunderstandings we had were just dissolved and we had only the love we used to feel for each other. Like a distillation process.

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Is it apporpriate or possible to e-mail someone i used to work with and had a crush on from a long time ago without putting myself in a awkard situation and making a fool of myself,what should i say? You could just try asking how things are and remind her who you are by what job you used to do/how you knew her. Don't say too much, she might have a boyfriend/husband by now. You could say you remember her for her helpfulness or some other special quality she had and how you appreciated that.

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Not to say you sexist or anything put does anyone feel there gender is more capable than the other? I think it's hard to generalize as some men have qualities we think of as 'feminine' and are better than their partners in such ways, e.g child care, cooking etc., But some women have great practical skills too, that leave their men standing. Basically, I think the genders are differently gifted and complement each other. It's not just a male/female thing though.

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What help can be given to a sociopath? Since it's not really clear what makes someone a sociopath then it's difficult to know what help can be given. Perhaps it depends on the 'degree' of sociopathy, it can vary from fairly mild to dangerous levels. If the person is aware of their tendencies then maybe you can get their co-operation in confronting lies etc., and show them by your acceptance that they are safe...

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Sorry I have been away for so long, I still will not be able to participate like I would like to. How does this make you feel? Will you be able to tolerate intermittent participation? I hope to visit some questions and answers this afternoon. Parsec! I really missed you. It's good to have you back in touch - doesn't matter how often so long as you're still out there. I hope things are alright with you and don't worry about your friends here, I'm sure we all understand. Just do what feels comfortable, don't give yourself any problems. Good luck. lol x

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Why do you ask if someone is okay, when you know they really are not okay? It's just a poilte custom to try to show some concern for others. It's ok if you're prepared to really listen if they answer truthfully. Too often people will ask and don't really want to know the answer. I might just ask, 'How's things?' and look like I do want to know, not just 'being polite'.

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In about 3 hours, i will play Ouija for the first time... It is a good decision? No, it's not a good decision. Look what happened to Alistair Crowley and his friends. Before you do something like this you ought to realize that a) it's not a 'game' that you 'play' and b) it can have dangerous and long-lasting consequences. Are you able to protect yourself from elemental forces that may delight in your destruction? Can you honestly say that you...

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What is philosophy(no translation of the word plz) ? is it assumptions or just playing with words? I think it's 'man's' natural desire to question the universe, life and why we are here etc., We have such a huge curiosity above and beyond our need to survive. We don't even live long enough to truly justify our thirst for knowledge, our desire for the esoteric and our longing for spiritual meaning. So, I think philosophy is part of our sublime nature - waht...

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How important are gcse's? That depends on whether you want to go on to higher education, or train for a specific job. If you know what you want from your future, career-wise, and it doesn't depend on exam results then fine, GCSE's are less important. But if there's a chance, even a remote one, that you will one day wish you had some quals then get on and study for them now, while you have the opportunity....

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Do colors influence your emotions, or what color brings what emotion? Colours are well-known to affect our emotions, it's been scientifically proved. Since colours are simply wave-lengths of energy then it follows they would affect us? Pink is meant to be calming; red is passionate and excites appetite so is good in a dining room, but too much can make you feel aggressive; yellow is uplifiting and good for communication; blue is cool but can be a little too...

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Best violinists ever Probably Mozart? I like Nigel Kennedy and Vanessa Mae for modern violinists.

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I am a new mom.. and i feel as if im not bonding with my son as much as i want to..I do sing to him and talk to him... but what else can i do to bond with my son. He's only going to be 2 months. Don't give yourself a hard time or you'll feel guilty and that's when the resentment sets in. Any meaningful, long-term relationship needs a little time and patience, we have to get to know each other. At the moment your baby is a little stranger, don't worry if you don't feel the amazing things you think you're supposed to feel. Just keep doing what you're...

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I'm a tourist. Which 'one thing' must I see to know I have seen the essence of your home town? The old brick-built 'bottle-neck kilns' in The Potteries, (Stoke-on-Trent) Staffordshire, England. They really do sum up the history of that place and look like giant milk bottles and there are only a few left standing now. They used to belch out thick black smoke obscuring the horizon and depositing sooty blotches all over my mother's sheets drying on the washing line - poor woman!

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Should I let go of long term relationship with kids involved if father needs space? House, cars, sharing of everything. Wants to hang out but not have to answer to anyone. 32 year old man 29 year old woman. One kid together 2 of his own. It sounds as if he's a bit immature in some ways. You might benenfit from going to a relationship counsellor if possible. The children need stability and two parents. Maybe you could reach a compromise if you try to find out what he thinks he's missing out on? Could be he's panicking at the prospect of getting older. Try to find ways to make your life in general more...

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Do you intend to continue working in some capacity after you officially retire? Why or why not? Yes, it's very important to have a sense of purpose and also a 'shape' to the day or week. Even if the work is voluntary and part-time I feel it's essential to remain useful and committed to something outside yourself. I 'retired' several years ago, but continue to offer my skills on a free-lance basis and also write a column for a local newspaper, to keep my hand...

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I been taking the pill for about a month, i missed two days in a row last week... and my boyfriend cam in me when we had sex yesterday... what are my chances? How does 'mama' sound? You need to get the morning-after pill like, NOW, if you don't want a pregnancy.

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If somebody is very possessive and always raise their expectations all the time day and night, and they really do not give you your own space, how to deal with those people ?(if you tell something to them then they get hurt) Is this 'someone' your s/o? If so, you need to reassure them that you care but that if they want to keep their special place in your life they need to relax and let you be yourself too. Explain that this is not a rejection of them or a threat to their security but that if they can't accept it you will have to change the nature of the relationship and see less of them. Maybe this...

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What is Corfu like for a summer holiday? It's a long time since I was there but it was very beautiful I think it may be important to choose your actual resort carefully though, since some are mainly for young singles, while others are more couple or family-oriented. Depends waht you're looking for.

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Ladies: Have you ever been mistaken for a prostitute? No, never.

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If you started going out with someone and it was going well would yout tell them your were having active treatment from depression? It's best to be honest as it could cause problems later and the other person might feel resentful that you weren't open. A good relationship is about trust and openness, give your friend the chance to be supportive and understanding. Also, give them the respect to make their own choices about whether to be with you or not. There's nothing to be ashamed of, though I understand...

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My school introduced teaching haiku several years after I'd passed through the year they taught it in. So, I don't know much about it, including how to write one. What is there to know? There are different forms of haiku but the most popular is a verse of seventeen syllables arranged on a five -seven- five pattern - that is, first line = five syllables; second line = seven syllables and the last line having five, making a total of seventeen. Look at Japanese haiku to understand the principles.

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WHY ARE PEOPLE UNHAPPY TODAY? We are separated from our families and communities by the general trend towards individual fulfillment. People get educated, get careers etc., that take them out of their normal environs and we do work that is fragmented (see Marx) and therefore gives us little real satisfaction. We are 'alienated' from our true nature and find it difficult to connect in a world where technology is...

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12 Years ago, I lost contact with the love of my life for a few months. I was scared to express my love when I found out 'they' were engaged.I love my spouse & kids, as does the other theirs. We found eachother again and achingly long for eachother. HELP! What you lost was a romantic, idealistic sort of love, not the truer, deeper love that comes from knowing another human being intimately, sharing ups and downs and having a family together. If you leave this and go for a new life with your 'old' love you will both suffer. Instead of yearning for what is past concentrate on the here and now. Recognize that such love depends upon...

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If you could go back in time and say one thing to one person, what would it be and why? I would say to my sister, who was dying at the time, that yes, I would take her home. And I would have taken her home, then and there instead of letting her die in a ward in a hospice which she didn't want to do.

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Do you think we are born with certain "gifts" that only need to be recognized, encouraged and brought forth or do we hit upon our special interest thru our lifestyle as we grow and then our curiosity sends us further into our interest? I think it's a combination of heredity and environmental factors. We all come into the owrld with our own special aptitudes but they need to 'fed and watered', recognized and encouraged. It is possible that unusually talented individuals will still emerge against all odds, but it takes longer and maybe they never reach the level of attainment they might have done if their gifts...

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What makes you different then anyone else on this planet? Prove to me that you are unique! Read my thoughts if I'm the same as you - or anyone else? We all have unique thought processes that make us individual.

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What do you think of the protests and the snuffing out of the Olympic torch in France (at least 3 times) because of human rights violations in China and Tibet? I think it achieves nothing and like all random acts of violence/terrorism it is aiming at the wrong people. How can such foolish and aggressive acts aid the Tibetans? What of the human rights of those who want to support the Games and honor the tradition of carrying the Olympic flame? If they want publicity for their cause they could get this in a different way and also gain the sympathy of...

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