Answerbag: plaidman is a sanity bandit's answers

Answer to If you had a cow, what would you call it?

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:37:11 -0700

If you had a cow, what would you call it?

Beef...or Sirloin

Answer to Do you enjoy doing laundry?

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:29:41 -0700

Do you enjoy doing laundry?

More than I do walking around in dirty clothes!!!

Answer to Men do you like women with full lips?

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:28:50 -0700

Men do you like women with full lips?

I didn't know they were empty...

Answer to So. . . . . . how much greener . . . . IS. . . . .that grass on the other side of the road? Hm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m?

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:05:23 -0700

So. . . . . . how much greener . . . . IS. . . . .that grass on the other side of the road? Hm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m?

Depends on how much fertilizer and water was used!!!

Answer to Is it better to stay married and very unhappy or cheat and be so guilty whatever the s/o does wouldn't matter, or is divorce really the answer?

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:55:12 -0700

Is it better to stay married and very unhappy or cheat and be so guilty whatever the s/o does wouldn't matter, or is divorce really the answer?

Neither situation will produce lasting happiness.

Answer to Whats a good license plate saying?

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:53:47 -0700

Whats a good license plate saying?

I saw a pest control truck with XTRMN 8 (exterminate).

Answer to Do you place a paper napkin on your lap?

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:44:44 -0700

Do you place a paper napkin on your lap?

I only put cloth napkins on my lap to help remind me to not use my shirt sleeves!!

Answer to Why do some people judge something they don't know all the facts about?

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:41:26 -0700

Why do some people judge something they don't know all the facts about?

Because some people think you have a right to their opinion...whether you like it or not!

Answer to Whats an instrument you'd love to learn how to play?

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:11:10 -0700

Whats an instrument you'd love to learn how to play?

Piano or the bagpipes

Answer to Are you hungry after sex?

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:08:42 -0700

Are you hungry after sex?

Yes...after 20 minutes of intense cardio workout, my appetite is definitely stimulated...wait, that's running or aerobics....2 minutes of intense cardio workout and my appetite is stimulated! Sorry, I was confused for a minute!!! LOL

Answer to Should i Start Smoking Im 16

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:59:59 -0700

Should i Start Smoking Im 16

Would you viciously mutilate your genitals with an ice pick...the answer is pretty obvious!! NOOOOOO!!!!

Answer to Don't you find life fascinating? The miracle of birth and things like electricity.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:57:59 -0700

Don't you find life fascinating? The miracle of birth and things like electricity.

Yep!

Answer to Do you Believe in Free Will or Choice?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:57:30 -0700

Do you Believe in Free Will or Choice?

I believe we have a free will to make a choice.

Answer to Would you cuddle with The Mothman?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:56:13 -0700

Would you cuddle with The Mothman?

Only if love produced those butterfly feelings in my stomach. LOL

Answer to Which sleeve do you do first when putting on a jacket? I am right handed but I do the left first.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:54:43 -0700

Which sleeve do you do first when putting on a jacket? I am right handed but I do the left first.

Unlike my pants, I can put a jacket on both sleeves at the same time. LOL

Answer to Why do people say "crack is wack" if 9 times out of 10 they haven't even tried it?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:53:29 -0700

Why do people say "crack is wack" if 9 times out of 10 they haven't even tried it?

For the same reason you wouldn't have to make love to a prickly pear cactus using a lemon juice lubricant on a salt flat to know that it's probably NOT a very good idea and will HURT REALLY BAD!!. Despite this, there are still people that will not take good advice and will have to find...

Answer to 10 things you hate about the world?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:47:54 -0700

10 things you hate about the world?

1. Hypocrisy within the church. 2. The double standard that condemns racist behavior of one group and not of any other. 3. The fact that there is no aptitude or intelligence test in order to procreate. 4. The ridiculous amount of money we pay actors, pro athletes, entertainers, CEOs,...

Answer to Why do cat's vomit so much?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:34:32 -0700

Why do cat's vomit so much?

Because they have low self esteem and a poor perception of their body image...you should take your cat to counseling! LOL

Answer to What's the difference between a wasp and a hornet?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:26:10 -0700

What's the difference between a wasp and a hornet?

The width and order of the black and yellow stripes. (This was only after the bumble bee's attorney claimed a copyright and patent infringement while maliciously attacking the bumble bees livelihood, good name and reputation. The bumble bee won the case and the wasp and hornet had to...

Answer to What do you think our government would do if there was life found on another planet :/

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:18:34 -0700

What do you think our government would do if there was life found on another planet :/

We would try to justify an invasion of their planet... because they WOULD MOST DEFINITELY HAVE weapons of mass destruction!

Answer to I'm cooking a pound of scrapple. Some for a late supper (with cheese on a roll) and some for tomorrow. How do you feel about scrapple?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:15:51 -0700

I'm cooking a pound of scrapple. Some for a late supper (with cheese on a roll) and some for tomorrow. How do you feel about scrapple?

Isn't it also called head cheese? I've never tried it, but it doesn't sound even the least bit appealing to me!

Answer to What age would you like to be forever?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:12:05 -0700

What age would you like to be forever?

5...everyone of my family members were alive, school only lasted half the day, no real responsibilities, lots of play time, no relationship problems, imagination was limitless and dreams could be any size and anything you wanted them to be, faith was easy and you could take a nap without anyone...

Answer to Have you ever inhaled that gas that makes your voice very very high?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:02:22 -0700

Have you ever inhaled that gas that makes your voice very very high?

Helium? Yes!! Several times...I'm actually typing in a high-pitched voice right now! LOL

Answer to What are things I should not do while I am driving?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:01:00 -0700

What are things I should not do while I am driving?

Oh yeah....SLEEP!!!!

Answer to What are things I should not do while I am driving?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:00:02 -0700

What are things I should not do while I am driving?

Read the newspaper or a book...I've seen people ACTUALLY do this!!

Answer to What are some things that would be a bad idea to get Grandma for her 100th birthday?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:59:16 -0700

What are some things that would be a bad idea to get Grandma for her 100th birthday?

A pogo stick A unicycle A Slip N' Slide Skydiving lessons and a stripper pole

Answer to What would a North Korean fast food restaurant serve?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:52:06 -0700

What would a North Korean fast food restaurant serve?

Whatever it is, I wouldn't eat it...I heard it made Kim Jong Il (ill). Sorry, the joke was there, had to take it!!!

Answer to What's one sound that bothers you?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:39:47 -0700

What's one sound that bothers you?

Rap and opera music and anything played on the accordion!

Answer to When talking with new people, how often do they look at you like your hair was on fire?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:32:19 -0700

When talking with new people, how often do they look at you like your hair was on fire?

Hardly ever...I have very little hair to ignite or maintain any type of raging inferno upon my head. And thanks for bringing it up !!

Answer to What's the funniest sitcom you've ever watched?

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:40:15 -0700

What's the funniest sitcom you've ever watched?

Big Bang Theory!!! I love that show!

Answer to Can you give any animal collective names? Ex. Remuda of horses, gagle of geese.

Thu, 28 May 2009 20:41:07 -0700

Can you give any animal collective names? Ex. Remuda of horses, gagle of geese.

A pack of wild dogs A horde of locusts A herd of elephants A swarm of bees

Answer to What fruits/vegetables have you grown in your backyard?

Thu, 28 May 2009 20:37:29 -0700

What fruits/vegetables have you grown in your backyard?

Tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, onions, cucumbers, green beans, peas, sweet corn, strawberries, rhubarb, watermelon, squash, eggplant, pumpkin, cabbage, spinach, lettuce and broccoli are in our garden this year.

Answer to Why is it that "all men are pigs" but good men don't stand by their friends as they compromises their morals... meanwhile otherwise good women will stand by their friends in the most horrid behaviors to include cheating?

Thu, 28 May 2009 20:34:44 -0700

Why is it that "all men are pigs" but good men don't stand by their friends as they compromises their morals... meanwhile otherwise good women will stand by their friends in the most horrid behaviors to include cheating?

A pig's orgasm can last up to twenty minutes...there's no way men are pigs! Seriously, I think most men try to think and act in terms of black and white/right and wrong with no gray areas and I'll make the generalization that most men usually don't need or want moral support...

Answer to What is your sign?

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:05:38 -0800

What is your sign?

STOP

Answer to What comes to mind when I say... I want you?... {{Be nice}}

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:05:08 -0800

What comes to mind when I say... I want you?... {{Be nice}}

Cheap Trick's...I Want You To Want Me

Answer to Have you ever made up random fake words and used them in a conversation to see if people still understand what you're talking about? If you do please feel free to share your stories:)

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:04:06 -0800

Have you ever made up random fake words and used them in a conversation to see if people still understand what you're talking about? If you do please feel free to share your stories:)

Yes I do it to antagify (to amplify or increase the ability to be an annoying antagonist) people! LOL

Answer to What is a flavor of Jell-O?

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:59:58 -0800

What is a flavor of Jell-O?

Black Cherry

Answer to Can you name something you would find in a park?

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:12:21 -0800

Can you name something you would find in a park?

grass

Answer to I run too fast. What Am I?

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 20:20:30 -0800

I run too fast. What Am I?

Forrest Gump!

Answer to What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 20:03:39 -0800

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm in your apple!

Answer to What's Your Most Attractive Quality?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:51:06 -0800

What's Your Most Attractive Quality?

My sense of humor

Answer to What type of attitude problem do you have?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:49:59 -0800

What type of attitude problem do you have?

No attitude...I just think I'm better than most people! LOL

Answer to Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:49:09 -0800

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Probably because their marketing department came up with a initial brainstorming list like this: A is anus B is butt C is cheeks D is dingleberry E is exit F is fanny G is gas H is hole

Answer to What is the first thing you see when you enter the grocery store?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:41:41 -0800

What is the first thing you see when you enter the grocery store?

The sign on the door that says "enter"!

Answer to You are screwed if ______?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:40:43 -0800

You are screwed if ______?

you're a turtle and you're on your back!

Answer to Every child has the right to....what?

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:05:33 -0800

Every child has the right to....what?

have loving parents

Answer to (fill in the blank): I hate being________?

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:04:03 -0800

(fill in the blank): I hate being________?

controlled by the word "if"

Answer to If you found a way to get everyone you met and knew to like you, would you do it?

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:01:51 -0800

If you found a way to get everyone you met and knew to like you, would you do it?

No...but there were some girls in high school that I wish this would have worked on....

Answer to Do you give good advice, and then not listen to it yourself?

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:00:18 -0800

Do you give good advice, and then not listen to it yourself?

Yep....

Answer to Hey.................?

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:37:19 -0800

Hey.................?

Are you gonna eat that?!

Answer to What is something that rings or can be rung?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:35:59 -0800

What is something that rings or can be rung?

A bell

Answer to Birth control or abstinence?... as far a teaching kids

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:34:59 -0800

Birth control or abstinence?... as far a teaching kids

A realistic and balanced combination of both...with the hopes that abstinence will prevail!

Answer to What is something you can do with a "rock?" YUP a rock, use that wonderful imagination on this one.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:32:29 -0800

What is something you can do with a "rock?" YUP a rock, use that wonderful imagination on this one.

Throw it at someone who lives in a glass house!! LOL

Answer to What is something that crawls?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:31:50 -0800

What is something that crawls?

SPIDERS!!!

Answer to What is the softest area on you?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:30:45 -0800

What is the softest area on you?

my thin gelatin coating

Answer to If you could go back in time and stop any terrible event from happening what would it be?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:30:03 -0800

If you could go back in time and stop any terrible event from happening what would it be?

9/11/01

Answer to What should happen to your ashes, if your cremated?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:28:16 -0800

What should happen to your ashes, if your cremated?

I'd have mine sprinkled on Martha Stewart's carpet just to piss her off!

Answer to What do you hate most about society?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:25:55 -0800

What do you hate most about society?

Sheeple....the idiotic masses that clan together shouting a collective thought that usually lacks intelligence, common sense or morality and then demand that thought be adopted absolutely in the name of utilitarianism (the common good of all) while destroying the concept of personal liberty and...

Answer to Are girls with red hair a turn off?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:21:38 -0800

Are girls with red hair a turn off?

A girl...because I'm a guy and I like girls! Especially red-headed girls!

Answer to Does anyone else hate that loud booming bass from cars? I have a very old house and it rattles and shakes, does yours?

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:20:31 -0800

Does anyone else hate that loud booming bass from cars? I have a very old house and it rattles and shakes, does yours?

Drive through their neighborhoods blasting country or heavy metal music and see how they like it! LOL

Answer to What was the class you had the most difficulty with in school?

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:14:07 -0800

What was the class you had the most difficulty with in school?

Algebra...

Answer to If Jet Li and Bruce Lee Fought each other who would win?

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:27:37 -0800

If Jet Li and Bruce Lee Fought each other who would win?

Bruce Lee

Answer to Why are people not more worried about 2013. I mean 13 being unlucky and all.

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:26:47 -0800

Why are people not more worried about 2013. I mean 13 being unlucky and all.

Because the world is supposed to end in 2012...

Answer to Who dresses formally for church? lately ive noticed that a lot of people are just wearing street clothes. what do you think about this?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:57:24 -0800

Who dresses formally for church? lately ive noticed that a lot of people are just wearing street clothes. what do you think about this?

I think it's great!

Answer to To, too and two......does anyone know the difference?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:51:44 -0800

To, too and two......does anyone know the difference?

To is a preposition Too is an adverb Two is an adjective

Answer to What is the oddest piece of trivia you know?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:48:57 -0800

What is the oddest piece of trivia you know?

Mr. Rogers (from the t.v. show) was once a Navy frogman (SEAL) before becoming a pacifist and minister.

Answer to What would you do if i showed up naked at your door?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:44:27 -0800

What would you do if i showed up naked at your door?

Offer you a coat...it's 5 degrees outside!!!

Answer to What is something a fire fighter might have to do on the job?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:42:26 -0800

What is something a fire fighter might have to do on the job?

Be a first responder to a medical emergency

Answer to Help! My cat attacked me viciously out of know where. She was going for my face. Never has done this before and also attacked her brother as well. I don't know how to help her.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:36:50 -0800

Help! My cat attacked me viciously out of know where. She was going for my face. Never has done this before and also attacked her brother as well. I don't know how to help her.

I know I'll get DRed for this...but this offers validity to my opinion that cats are evil!!!

Answer to If you wanted to become a police officer, what do you think would be the most difficult part for you to pass in order to be placed on the roster for training?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:33:54 -0800

If you wanted to become a police officer, what do you think would be the most difficult part for you to pass in order to be placed on the roster for training?

The psychological test...ever other test you can study or prepare for.

Answer to I am VERY comfortable where I am, but now I have to pee. What should I do? What are my options?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:28:26 -0800

I am VERY comfortable where I am, but now I have to pee. What should I do? What are my options?

Depends....(yes the pun is intended!!!)

Answer to Could you name one thing you consider wasteful?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:27:08 -0800

Could you name one thing you consider wasteful?

Mowing the lawn...city ordinance requires you to cut it, you cannot harvest it as a crop, it cannot be burned, it must be separated from regular trash when thrown out...and to top it all off; we fertilize and water the grass so it will continue to grow, thus perpetuating the cycle! What a waste!!!

Answer to Who do you know right now that really need a good swift kick in the pants?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:18:10 -0800

Who do you know right now that really need a good swift kick in the pants?

All politicians!!!! (regardless of party affiliation)

Answer to If i Asked You to recite your Times Tables - Could You,,,,,,?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:16:22 -0800

If i Asked You to recite your Times Tables - Could You,,,,,,?

Probably

Answer to What did you think of Gov. Blagos speech to stay in office? I think they should just leave him be

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:15:09 -0800

What did you think of Gov. Blagos speech to stay in office? I think they should just leave him be

He's a crooked Illinois politician regardless of how he paints himself...he deserves to be impeached!!!

Answer to Is the media trying to destroy Obama?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:12:58 -0800

Is the media trying to destroy Obama?

Obama and his policies will do the job...the media will just cover it or cover it up!

Answer to What job would a handyman do for you?

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:30:21 -0800

What job would a handyman do for you?

Anything plumbing related!

Answer to Do u believe in heredity character?obama father is muslim.

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:55:36 -0800

Do u believe in heredity character?obama father is muslim.

Religious faith is not hereditary.

Answer to What the heck is your problem?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:49:01 -0800

What the heck is your problem?

Which one? I have lots of problems, just like everyone else!

Answer to Name something that doesn't matter to us.

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:41:24 -0800

Name something that doesn't matter to us.

The mating rituals of flies.

Answer to Name something that most of us would consider not only annoying but also disrespectful.

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:40:29 -0800

Name something that most of us would consider not only annoying but also disrespectful.

Excessively loud public profanity!

Answer to Relative to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? your intelligence?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:38:34 -0800

Relative to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? your intelligence?

Looks...maybe 5 or 6...Intelligence...9 (I have an IQ of 133. the national average is between 80-100)

Answer to Do we have free will or is life based on determinism?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:35:45 -0800

Do we have free will or is life based on determinism?

Free will...but some choose to have their lives determined by the actions or inactions of others!

Answer to What is an item of clothing that has elastic in it?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:34:34 -0800

What is an item of clothing that has elastic in it?

Underwear

Answer to What is one thing around your house that comes in a bottle?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:33:53 -0800

What is one thing around your house that comes in a bottle?

BEER!!!

Answer to Do you wish you had your own clone slave?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:31:36 -0800

Do you wish you had your own clone slave?

Not a slave; but a clone, yes!

Answer to Whats the best quick fix?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 06:15:31 -0800

Whats the best quick fix?

Sleep....recharges the mind and body and provides a fresh start!

Answer to My 2 1/2 yr old just got over an ear infection and she had to take an antibotic and now It looks like she has a yeast infection.. what can I use on her?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 06:11:18 -0800

My 2 1/2 yr old just got over an ear infection and she had to take an antibotic and now It looks like she has a yeast infection.. what can I use on her?

Nystatin ointment/cream is sometimes prescribed for thrush and yeast infections...but check with your pediatrician and follow his/her recommendations.

Answer to Can Canada protect the USA?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:09:14 -0800

Can Canada protect the USA?

From what?

Answer to Have you ever had an internet stalker?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:03:03 -0800

Have you ever had an internet stalker?

No. Why? Are you interested in stalking me? LOL

Answer to What is the biggest money saving invention

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:00:23 -0800

What is the biggest money saving invention

The internet!

Answer to If I would have known ______ How would you finish this sentence?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:58:52 -0800

If I would have known ______ How would you finish this sentence?

all the trouble that went along with this, I'd would've stayed single!

Answer to Is it realistic to use a knife as a mirror to peer around a corner in a combat situation?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:56:42 -0800

Is it realistic to use a knife as a mirror to peer around a corner in a combat situation?

Only in the movies!!

Answer to Ebony and Ivory go together naturally. Can you think of another.

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:54:38 -0800

Ebony and Ivory go together naturally. Can you think of another.

Milk and cookies!

Answer to Do you ever answer a Q, ask a Q, or make a comment on AB, & look at it later, & realize how goofy or unclear you were? Maybe you were tired or in a hurry when you said it & then feel stupid later?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:53:41 -0800

Do you ever answer a Q, ask a Q, or make a comment on AB, & look at it later, & realize how goofy or unclear you were? Maybe you were tired or in a hurry when you said it & then feel stupid later?

I'm pretty clear with my answers, but I always make sure everything is spelled correctly. I really hate misspelled words and the whole text speak in some answers.

Answer to "Married men live longer than single men", but do you think married men are a lot more willing to die?

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:36:53 -0800

"Married men live longer than single men", but do you think married men are a lot more willing to die?

Depends on who they are married to!

Answer to Can you think of weather terms the weather man uses?

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:36:14 -0800

Can you think of weather terms the weather man uses?

Accumulation Precipitation Gale-force winds Golf-Ball sized hail Isolated thunderstorms Winter weather advisory

Answer to Can you tell me something about yourself that you think I would enjoy knowing?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:58:33 -0800

Can you tell me something about yourself that you think I would enjoy knowing?

I am writing a book.

Answer to Now, how did ya get all the way over there?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:51:15 -0800

Now, how did ya get all the way over there?

I fell off the wagon....again!

Answer to A lot of people hate Mondays, but don't you find Sunday evenings just as depressing, knowing that Monday is tommorow?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:50:28 -0800

A lot of people hate Mondays, but don't you find Sunday evenings just as depressing, knowing that Monday is tommorow?

I see the logic, but I try to keep all of Monday's depression on Monday only!