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Do you think Michael Phelps should be criticised for smoking marijuana from a bong? You know what, he is a swimmer. He can swim fast. so the f*ck what if he smokes pot. i dont smoke pot, keep in mind. someone who can swim fast should never be anyones hero. And if speedo feels like they have to pay a fast swimmer lots of money to pose in some trunks and live a perfect life forever, then they are mistaken. bottom line.

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How old were you the last time you peed in your pants? sometimes, even after i shake, that little bit of dribble just finds its way to the side of my leg. grrrr.

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I want to go to college after high school, but I also want to join the Marine Core. I'm not sure how to do this. I'm thinking that most people do the core first, then college. I'm not really interested in West Point or those schools. What can I do? Its a tough choice, and a tough time for transition in your life. Do what you want. You create your destination, my friend. As for me, I have been in the Corps (note : spelling) for 6 years now. It has been great. I have 2 tours to Iraq, 1 tour to Afghanistan (1 year long tour). I have been on 3 MEU's (Marine Expeditionary Unit). During those floats, i participated in several multi...

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Do you prefer to drink out of a glass or a plastic cup? glass. usually a low-ball. works well with my scotch and water...

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What are you sitting on right now? my ass.

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How do you think we can stop all these teenage girls from getting pregnant? pull out. duh.

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Are you really as kind and gentle as you appear to be on Answerbag.? im not kind and gentle. im mean and rough. even on answerbag.

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What does the greeting on your answering machine or voice mail say? Mine is actually very rude, and that is because im sick of people calling for other people. i never answer numbers i dont know... it goes something like this 'If you are not looking for donny austin, you can go fuck yourself. this is not jose, or rico, or jaime, or jamal, or consuelo, or christina's phone. there is noone here by the name of jennifer. i dont owe you money, and im...

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How much is 100 grams in china as far as im concerned, its still 100 grams. neither amount of matter, nor gravitational pull, change as you go continent to continent. are you asking for the metric conversion? hmmm

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I'm getting a Kitten soon, how do I guarantee it loves me forever? teach it to cross the street blindfolded...

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What cheeses do you find the most tasty to snack on? fromunda cheese. from unda deez nuts!!

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WHAT COUNTRY HAS THE BEST ECONOMY TODAY THAT CAN SURVIVE IF THE US ECONOMY GOES INTO A DEPRESSION? probably australia. its like america, but without all the fat women.

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Should we make porn illegal in united states? its a sin i would be out of an ambition! that is my dream job, chump!

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What was your last act of desperation? I screamed RAPE!!! 'mom, i really thought he was gonna rape me. he had the craziest look in his eye, and at one point, he even said, 'lets get it on...'

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Name something you love and if they stopped making it it would actually change your life? war

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What's the oddest threat you've said in a fight? "im gonna tea bag your drumset. John Bonham is about to play Moby Dick, FAAA REAAAL!!"

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What variety of a ship would you like to be captain of? hard-ship

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Three words that sum up life? eat sleep die

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Have you ever felt like a pawn on a chess-board? more like a knight...

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Who has blue eyes? and so it goes...

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Barbara Walters, Oprah Whinfrey, and your wife. you have to fornicate with one, marry one, and kill one. go! i have a stomach full of white dog sh*t, and you are gonna put this on me!

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Barbara Walters, Oprah Whinfrey, and your wife. you have to fornicate with one, marry one, and kill one. go! play hypothetically!!

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Barbara Walters, Oprah Whinfrey, and your wife. you have to fornicate with one, marry one, and kill one. go! oprah has more money im pretty sure. thanks for playin!

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Have you seen the new Clint Eastwood movie? What is it called-? gran torino. DONT F*CK WITH GUNNY HIGHWAY! EVER!! (Hamburger Hill)

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From what author's works have you learned the most? Kurt Vonnegut..."bad chemicals and bad ideas..."

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Any alcoholics here......What is the life of an alcoholic like? its a blur (ps, im not an alcoholic. they go to meetings. im 25, and havin fun!!)

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Can you make 10 steps to a perfect French Kiss? 1. grab the titty 2. tell her you love her(even if you dont) 3. grab the booby again 4. lie to her/tell her she is the most beautiful 5. insert tongue slyly 6. picture Alyssa Milano 7. squeeze the nipple 8. Picture her sister 9. swish tongue around while fondling with your zipper (note: keep hand on the boob) 10. whip it out while removing your tongue. mainly, play with the...

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I just cut myself shaving - what is the best way to make it stop bleeding without looking like a dork with toliet paper on my face? visine works. it makes the blood vessels smaller. or clear eyes, some kind of eye drop.

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205 people killed in one hour today when isreal attacked Gaza strip ? whats your opinion on that ... "thinning the herd" - denis leary

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Has anyone ever dropped the "N" bomb in your presence. what? like said 'nigger'? or 'negro'? or 'nigga'? does that really still offend people, seriously? yes, im a cracker, whitey, honky, whatever. im white. and in no way does that bother me. no offense, im the farthest from racist. i hate everyone equally.

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Am I the only man who finds extremely pale women attractive? Some people make it seem that they aren't. i love it. either way. pale skin is sexy, tan skin is sexy, but i definately like the breasts naturally white. i find that sexy as hell

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Do you urinate in the shower? (Yes, this is a serious question, as I've had men tell me that they do.) yup, and i make shampoo mohawks, and fart and laugh at how loud it sounds. then when i get out i draw boobies in the mirror, and sometimes a huge penis.

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9 abusive relationships in 2 years. I'm only 14. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!? sounds like you are messing with the playground bullies too much to me. shouldnt you be reading animal farm and playing hop scotch?

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Men: Do you like women who can cook for you? there is pros and cons to this. Philipinas cook amazing, and i would love them, if they were mute. americans cook a great variety (some of them) and i would love them, if their ass wasnt saggy by the age of 24 from the infinite amount of fast food shoved down their man juice receptacle, and they were mute. Italians, amazing dishes, love the real stuff, anchovies, smelly fishy vinegar dishes,...

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In 1986 did you watch halley's comet go by earth? not that i remember, but i remember the hale bopp comet, and that one cult killing themselves. what a bunch of clowns. isnt it something like 4000 years before it will reappear. and Halleys comes once every century. hale bopp is definately cooler.

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Why are women still not paid an equal amount to men? we are all paid the same in the military. but i've never patrolled the streets of baghdad with a female, or been led to battle by a female. im not sexist. i agree with the pay scale. it was just a thought. i guess what im trying to say is that

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Men: Do you wear pink color shirts, Ladies: what would you say? i have. i have this really cool pink tie too. i think its my favorite.

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If you had to identify yourself by ONE of your material possessions, which would you choose and why? my sunglasses. i have over 30 pairs of designer sunglasses. including a pair of raybans from 1972. Im stylish, and sunglasses define my mood.

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What attention grabbing sentence opener (hook) can i use for a persuasive essay on energy drinks being bad for your health? thou shalt never take Red Bull's name in vain.

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Attention AB moderators - Can you trace this guy? Name on AB is Bpurtle. He needs a quick intervention. He may be imminently suicidal. Give his e-mail address to the police. he needs a hug. or a push over the edge. where is he at. ill help him.

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Do you kiss your children on the cheek, on the lips, or somewhere else (like the forehead)? im 26, and i kiss my momma on the lips. the most meaningful kiss ill ever have. no doubt. i kiss my 2 little girls right on the smackers too. even covered in spaghetti o's

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If you could pick anyone to be president of the USA who would you choose? dennis leary

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What do you think you would find at a "Irish party" ? :) people that leave without saying goodbye. gotta love us!

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What's the most common reasons a wife cheats? because i make her cook and clean, and she cant study for her final. (hypothetical, ill never marry)

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Famous sayings from cartoon characters?....Here's one....giggity, giggity.... cowabunga dude

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How is being a pastor's wife different from being any other kind of wife? she gets all her husbands income, plus 10% of everyone else's, after the lights are paid for.

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What English noun has the most variations of meanings? f*ck

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Have you ever thought that you rarely sees a blind woman? well, she never sees you.

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If you won a million pounds what is the first thing you can buy a diet! oh, the metric system. i get it.

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Would you tell me your story in short? born, school, work, war, work, waiting for the greatest adventure of all : death.

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Which one of your pets has made the most lasting impression on you? i had a golden retriever/cocker spaniel mix. (both parents were akc) his name was Boo. named so because when my parents got him, i was 3, and i was scared of him, and he was a tiny pup. He lived 14 years, and all through my adolescence he was there, growing with me. when he died, i was 17, and i understood everything. or so i thought!

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Who is the best couple in the world for you? scotch and ice

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What's your favourite band, based on their lyrics? rise against

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Guys- how long does it take you to take a shower? it depends. where do you want to start? undress in the bedroom, throwing clothes everywhere = 2 minutes, walk by chick in the house, shake my thing and yell "woot woot" = 45 seconds, turn the shower on, pose and flex in the mirror at all angles =1 minute, get in the shower, get really wet, make a shampoo mohawk, fart and laugh to yourself at how loud it sounds, wash the junk, rinse...

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What's your AB level? have a look-see. I have been a professor FOREVER!! does it ever end. when? at 40? does anybody know?

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How long can a man have genital HPV before showing symptoms? there are several strands of the human papaloma virus (spelling) some guys can have it early on(certain strands), even before intercourse. females are most at risk. there is a vaccination you can give girls really early on in life now. i dont remember what its called, its starts with a 'g'. they are giving them out free to military parents. kind of a good deal.

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How tall are you and how much do you weigh? 69 inches, 186 lbs, solid

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Is it True that 'Time is running'?How? don't wear watches. I don't believe in them. Who said they told the time? or run the time. They are liars. The hours fly by while you're talking to a lover. The seconds crawl on your skin as you wait for the bell. Time is clearly as fast/slow as you deem it, so don't let the second hand fool you... Into thinking that every.tick.means.you.are.losing.something.real. ...

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What is another word for Woman? (creativity and humor welcomed) you-know-who, ham-wallet, wheeping willow, oyster-ditch, whiff, hobby, hotrod, ride, angry pirate...

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Oh I have a really big problem I have MottePhobia it means when I'm scared of insects mostley butterflys and spiders please help me! I'm alweays at home on Summer nights I have nearly killed my self of panic when a butterfly flys after me.I lose control=( stay away from larmes ... and the butterfly she tends to flutter-by

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What's the worst thing someone could say to an Atheist? that when they die 'and become a tree' that you hope some christian lumberjack chops him down, sends him to the paper mill, and they print the bible on him. im non religious. this just seems ironic, and hilarity ensues.

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What is the worst thing someone could do at a movie theatre? put your erect penis in a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag. and just wait for the surprise

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What color is your car and do you like it? why? jeep calls it 'rescue green' i call it olive drab oorah

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Is the flight from honolulu in hawaii to houston in america international or domestic? domestic. there is a large customs station in Hawaii for any aircraft entering u.s. territories from the western pacific.

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If you died what would you want your obituary to say? from left to right, top to bottom. in english, and on non recycled newspaper. freedoms i fight for.

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How do so many Asian women have flawless skin? It is usually very light too, which makes flaws stand out, but it STILL looks flawless. genetics. equatorial location. soy sauce.

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Does smoking pot around a 14 month old boy affect him in achieving milestones like walking? i dont think you ever hit your first milestone. or even the halfway point. but definately the point of no return.

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When would you abandon a sinking ship? way before jack and rose did. and i wouldnt give her that whole piece of wood either, that greedy b!tch!!

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I want to get a start in the music industry. How should I go about getting someone to hear me sing? American Idol. yuck

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What's the best movie you've seen in a theater this year? quantum of solace

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I want to collect some Deep Quotes/ Sayings.....They Can be Sad, Inspirational, or Thought Provoking....Will you help? I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child. - Woody Allen

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If you could see anyone naked who would you see and why? helen keller...because she couldnt

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Can a scorpio woman tame a sag. man? lets drop the adjectives...here we go. can a woman tame a man? thats better. the rest is just fluff. My answer...NOT THIS ONE

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Do you personally capitalize the word "god"? churches do. 10%?? wtf

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Are all men after sex? im before, during, and after. rinse and repeat as necessary.

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Reading is a time consuming activity and books are big commitments. With so many classic novels you'll never read in your life, do you ever feel like you're wasting your time if you're just reading a book for fun? reading is a way of life. as you go through phases, so do your habits.

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How old are you? 26

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What do i do when my heart says go but my mind says stop? :'( red light green light...then run the yellow!

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Did you ever know that President Bush had such quick reflexes? stand-by for the liberal comments about the war in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,............................

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How can I handle stagefright? harness it. use the fear as a tool, transform it to the emotion/state that you need to portray. before going on, pump yourself up. get your heart rate up by some jumpin jacks or something similar. trick number 2, be the character, then its not you on stage. be the character, then have the character act.

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What do you prefer on a girl (or yourself if you are one) landing strip, hairy or completely bare? no preference. just 98.6 degrees, and im satisfied.

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If you don't speak Arabic, do you like to listen to Middle Eastern music? Who is your favorite artist? Please answer my question. i dont know any of the artists. but i heard it alot in iraq. some of it was pretty good. they used to sell us the bootleg dvd music videos too. it was enjoyable.

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If a girl was to cheat on her boyfrind with another guy by having sex, could her boyfriend tell that she has been messing around on him wh3n he has sex with her, i need educated answers only please no not likely. not unless you had canine nose receptors. that is as educated i can put if for you. no. no. and no. just beat it up, and move on.

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Guys: do you like flavored lipgloss when kissing your girl? my wife yes, my secretary...no.

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Theres a lot of racism in america. what would happen if all the other races were to go back to their country's? this reminds me of an inappropriate joke... heres my scenario, D.C. wouldn't resemble a capitol, phoenix would be an all white suburban area that has been abandoned due to fact that noone would clean their houses, Atlanta would be known as atlanta, not the A-T-L, New Orleans would still smell like piss, Mt. Rushmore would wither, and i would steal the plaque of the statue of liberty...

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Where would you like to retire? Clear lake, TX

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What went up in smoke? cheech and chong

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What is the worst way to break up with someone in your opinion? purposely have her catch you cheating. that was so much fun!

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What was the name of the last hurricane to hit your state? im in arizona too, but my parents went through ike. they had a boat in the beach house living room, and there home (30 miles from the coast ov galveston)had part of the roof missing. the flag stayed tho. wierd huh

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What would you do if you couldnt die? accept my eternal punishment.

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Can a sexual position be patented? dale earnhardt has one. its where you are doggy style on the bed, and you reach up and knock her arms out from under her, and thrust forward slamming her head on the headboard. its called "dale's victory" okay okay i made that up.

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I collect interesting facts. Anybody got a good one? Kurt Vonnegut predicted his own death at the age of 84. Well, he predicted the death of his alter ego, Seymore Trout, in the preface of Slaughterhouse IV

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Does Satan wear pink? When he mixes the whites with the colors on laundry day. tsk tsk

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Why do you like to eat? ayples and banaynays?

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Should the definition of democracy be changed to "Government of the people - ONLY IF people of both genders, and all racial, religious, and economic backgrounds, are included"? Democracy - so easy, a caveman can do it. (no racial profiling intended!)

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Why is life so pointless? the sad part of the pointlessness, is people that think this way get to take full credit for being alive.

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What is your profesion? is it your dream job? United States Marine. Dream job? not at first. it grew on me. I love being a Marine and everything it stands for. I just did my second reenlistment, Im gonna do my 20 years saving the world, retire at 40, move back to Texas, and take over my Dads prosperous company. 3 war tours, 2 boat detachments, and 2 humanitarian aid assignments so far : sri lanka and myanmar (Burma)Semper Fidelis

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How can I recieve e-mail at my Hotmail or MSN inbox that i forgot my password to and had no security question to yes you can. dont listen to him. on the home page, there is a contact us link. email them from a seperate email account. tell them you never added this account to your hotmail profile. they will get back with you, and you will answer a huge series of questions, like what are some saved emails you have, when the last time you logged on was, etc. they will work with you. give them about a week to...

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What is "LIVE EVERYDAY AS IT WAS YOUR LAST" in irish? in gaelic is what you are looking for. but meami is right, the irish speak english. or pikey, which is a expedient english slang (Snatch)

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Do you own rated R movies? i dont pay attention to the ratings anymore. actually, i never did. i think some are rated x

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What would be the worst thing to fill a pinata with? newborns?

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If a friend or family member, had cancer and asked you to shave your head along with them, would you do it? im not the one with cancer, yo!

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I write love story but people are not interested i want to know if am missing something out that needs to be fixed grammar and punctuation. step 1.

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Are you over the age of 18, for real? giggity giggity, alright...

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I was just curious, I swear! But now I'm beginning to realize that I'm bi-beverage-ual. I've always been a committed tea-drinker, but in the last few months I've tried coffee a few times and it' s beginning to taste good. What should I do? feel it out for a while. stay in the closet until you know for certain. once you are seen at starbucks, or some other over priced coffee house, thats it. your exposed. tea drinkers around the world will now you take it up the hot side. its a fact. know yourself and seek self improvement.

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I believe 13 is too young for sexual related activities. Do you believe this is correct? Why or why not? i had sex at 13, 12 years ago, and i dont regret it AT ALL. as a matter of fact, im proud of it. Yeah! ! thats right, damn proud of it. the american way! yeah!

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I'm only 22 but man.. i gotta tell you the kids now adays are.... right behind you

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Whats the last prank you pulled? i tied fishing string to everything on the desk, i mean everything. stapler, pen holder, picture frames, mouse, keyboard, phone reciever, 3 hole punch...then i pushed the chair all the way in, and lifted it up with force using the height adjustment lever while it was under the desk, wedging it under the desk. when the day crew Marines got to work, one of em tried to pull the chair out, and...

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How do you program a 2002 chevy suburban garage door opener. did chevy come with a garage door opener in 2002, or just the compartment to hold a standard garage door opener. is it an actual electronic button, or a mechanical button compartment that you can open. this seems wrong to me.

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What is your favorite book and author? Slaughterhouse V - Kurt Vonnegut (at this moment) i have and have had so many fav's. i cant list them all.

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Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a ...............................? neighbor.

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How do you pleasure a man without sex? fingernails to the scalp...goodgawd is just got a chill thinkin about it...

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If Jesus died for our sins, how come there is still so much sin in the world? well, because, theoretically, he lived, died and lived again, all before he was 33? what do we accomplish before 33? we got some catchin up to do!

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Will Jesus Christ send you to hell for commiting suicide? still waiting on my postcard...

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Which countries accent is hottest to you? I say australian! the hottest, in my opinion, is the southern louisiana coonass accent. southern french with a twist...mmmmm mmmm good.

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What kind of beer do you have in your fridge? a couple blue moons left, a few coors lights. in the freeze got a bottle of jag to wash it all down...maybe when i get off, at 7 am!

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How can I meet new single men? Since I became a parent, the new people I met are mothers, couples, single ladies ... As I met them through my toddler or at work... hi hello how are ya? pretty easy huh?

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Are chocolate chips or pretzils okay

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Do you say racial slurs? "You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Trebek? What with your Diego mustache and your greasy hair!" Alex Trebek: "Look, what did I just say about racial slurs? From "3rd Rock From the Sun", French Stewart in second place with -$17,000."

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I was looking through our phone records and found a number popping up i called it and it was an interactive male chat line, is my husband gay? why else would he call it? why else would a straight man call a male chat line? how do i br this could have been a text message trick from a friend to fool him into calling this number...or maybe hes a closet queer.

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What do you think about Burger King's "Whopper Virgins" idea? its as arbitrary as selling a blind woman reading glasses.

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Will you submit a humorous answer even though you know it will get you humorless negative points? i live my bag life like this. and i thrive on the downrates and the stiff yuppies!

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Whether you agree with war or not, do you think it is fair to disrupt a homecoming parade (where soldiers returning from a long stint in a war zone are allowed to march through their regiment's home town) by holding a protest? like that crazy bitch shirley phelps roper? have you heard about her? the whole family, township, and church she is a part of are all related. they are well known for this. arent we all trained marksman...hmmm...click click

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What is better: BBQ'ed ribs or BBQ'ed chicken? they both give me that itis...side effects include : laziness, loud sleeping, sticky fingers, mud butt, and makes doodoo smell worse

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People argue God by saying "where did God come from" while professing belief in "the big bang", my question is this "what caused the big bang?" i dont know? i wasnt there. you can only believe half of what you see, and half of what you hear...

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I am a U.S. veteran and was wondering if there was an ID card I could get just to show I am a vet. I know you can apply to get one f/ the V.A. for medical care, but I don't need medical care. Just would like an ID that says I am a veteran. had you retired, you would have an ID. not saying your veteran-ship is invalid, but retirees keep military id cards, along with the benefits. just a thought. and david1911, pogue is spelled POG, at least as how i know it. but i would imagine its up for dispute. cheers.

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Why do those with racism for white people think they can get away with it...that makes you a racist asshole no matter what you're racist about! Why cant they get this? Racism someone who is against all other skin then their own. Is this complicated? Michael Richards, aka Cosmo Kramer, from Seinfeld, put it this way. Proud To Be White Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me 'White boy,'...

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Where are the worst and best parts of Singapore, and how are those sections of the city the worst & best? The whole place is beautiful, and amazing. i cant tell you one part was better than the other. i only had 3 days there, and it was one of my favorite western pacific spots to stop at. its absolutely amazing. wish i had more info for ya...

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What is the best travel destination in your local area? the Yuma Prison museum, or the imperial sand dunes.

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Would you be angry if a leprechaun came up and kicked you in the groin, or be excited that it is a leprechaun and give chase? that would be the tallest leprechaun i had ever seen. and i would be too down on my 'luck' to chase him.

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What is the difference between you and a homeless person? just a suffix. homeless homeward bound im out AB. takin to the house for the night.

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I ask wild questions on AB but I think this one is going to take the cake! If I was to ask u to donate money to help my 11 yr old daughter get to Washington DC cuz she was nominated for being an exceptional student would u? I can prove this isnt a scam. my daughter can beat up your exceptional student. wanna help her meet your daughter there?

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What if you were on a speeding roller coaster and everyone in front of you started throwing up. What would you do? gross. i would duck. and throw up.

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At what age were you when you realized you were no longer being carded when buying alcohol? 18

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What is the most creative swear word you know? KELLY CLARKSON!!!!

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Lets say that you was 20 years old and your boyfriend how is like about 6 years older then you askes you to move with him with no job and your parents pay for school and if you 2 brake up you have no place to go what would you do? ask jeeves

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What would you most want to do to a girl: Scoop her, squeeze her tits, or shove popcorn down her shirt? how do you scoop her? and everyone loves buttery tits! this is tough?

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What's your life expectency? (according to the test in the link attached) Mine is 94. 69 years old!! but it didnt take into accord 2 war tours, 3 western pacific boat tours, including humanitarian aid in sri lanka and burma, and a very very hard and devoted military lifestyle. i'll subtract a few years....

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How can you tell rather someone is daydreaming or meditating? (Humor is welcomed ). Daydreaming will get you shot in the chest 5 times with not one bullet hitting your wife Yoko, who is standing right beside you. meditating will make you a skinny monk in india. (and very philosophical)

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What is cheating usually a result of? Eternal happiness and a successful relationship, granted you are never caught.

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If I took you on a romantic date and then whipped out my trouser snake in the car later on, what would you say? silent bob would say "There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Meaning, if you wanna make an ass out of yourself, do it. there is another at your local starbucks that might bring the best out of you. and maybe bring you lasagna at work, and pull out your proverbial...

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I cheated on my long-term girlfriend with someone she knows (oral sex only), and I want to keep this going as long as my girlfriend doesn't find out. How can I get over this? do what ya gotta do, bro. dont let these nay-sayers get ya down. life doesnt ever have to be that serious to be happy! trust me!

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My mom was born here. and about a year ago applied for my citizenship. our lawyer called her to say that he needed mora paper work but that i should have my citizenship in less then two months. it just seems to good to be true. is it possible? congratulations! Yes its possible! and after you graduate, you can become an outstanding member of society. just keep your head right!

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Why are some people so nasty on Answerbag when giving their answers? people are nasty everywhere. and i can take nasty in the context you used several different ways...

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I am nervous about my first kiss. what are some tips for a 12 year old with a date coming up. i can think of 2 tips, and im sure he can think of 3.

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What should i do in detention cuz i get it alot but i get bored and i dont want to get caught? teach yourself something great. Education shouldnt cost 150,000 dollars, when you can get it for free at your local library for a couple of late charges. trust me. time management is key...

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If i owned a library, and i put the bible under the fiction section, do you think anyone would get mad? i would say file it under fantasy, right between Alice's Adventure in Wonderland and Beowulf. On the shelf with authors such as Tolkein, Lewis, and Homer. Hell, give it a dewey decimal place if ya want. but put the Book of Judas somewhere near bye.

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WHEN WILL I GET MARRIED sources say no

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What is worse than pain? not being able to feel it.

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My name is _______? mud

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What do you really really really like? I like the small of a womans back, the curveball, the way rain seems to drench you, but never get in your eyes. I like the freedoms im granted, and i like the freedoms you're not. i like the respect of elders, and respecting elders. i like cuban cigars, and my feet on the coffee table with a cold cup of coffee, because i was too busy reading a Faulkner story i liked, and didnt drink it. i...

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How can you describe yourself using a "w" word: wired, weary, or way-laid? white...im sure its been used. but thats the best i can do.

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When was your last Aids Test? I get an HIV test yearly. its Standard Operating Procedure.

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What do you truly hate? CHECK OUT THIS ONE! you dont wanna miss it. its my favorite answer ever! http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2108077

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In the adventure of Huck Finn, name 2 people suspected of murdering Huck. home and work

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Have you ever got up to sing karaoke in a room full of people? all the time!

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If I say banana, what is the first word that comes to your mind? b-a-n-a-n-a-s...this sh!t is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s... gwen stefani

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You're the language police.....what's the first word(or phrase) you make illegal? ghetto language, multiple words made ebonically into one. fa-sho fa-real babymama daa-gurl click click What did you just say?

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If u to be blind for a whole 24 hrs, would u still try to drive a car, or try to have sex? (u can only pick 1) thats a no brainer! its almost ridiculous, like the time i played marco polo with helen keller. i would definately be having sex, driving a car is, well, its not such a good idea blind ya know...

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What is a really creative first date? I once took a girl on a first date to the biggest furniture store in Houston. We had a blast, sitting on everything, talking for a while, walking around. i finished up in the bedroom section, cause i was interested in a bedroom set. we tested beds together, then i bought it. they delivered it while we were out shopping for sheet/blanket sets, curtains, etc. when we got home she helped me set...

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If you knew for a fact that you could get away with it would you cheat on your spouse or significant other? its the key to a successful relationship...here they come...red light green light downrate....go!! do it!!

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How can i make the the bill of my philles baseball hat stay straight its a newera and its suposed to be straight and it keeps curveing (i got it and it was straight) you bought the hat too small. its trying to curve with your noggin.

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I will never give up on _______ even if it kills me living

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What is a dash in bartending? sometimes its just a bit, but it could be a few drops, maybe a hint of whatever, or a pinch, possibly a sprinkle, and a touch, maybe even a smidgen. lets just hope its not a 'cunt-hair' huh?

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Does alcohol helps getting out of the depression? i dont think so. but it sure tastes delicious!!

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What man in "uniform" is your favorite? i.e. fireman, Police, Army, etc. I am! and i look great in some Dress Blues too! cant wait til thursday... but runner up to me would be the late, great "Chesty" Puller!! OORAH!!!

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Is coffee ok to drink, or is it unhealthy? alot of people drink coffee. why not just eat a bunch of caramels... if you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee, and maybe safer. (but what would i know, im not wikipedia)

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How do you get a girl to flash you BEADS!!! chicks love beads!!!

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What is something which is lying about in your home that you always forget to throw out? the girl from the night before! GO HOME ALREADY!!

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Whats something you refuse to eat for breakfast? poop and cheerios

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How long are infant car seats good for? depends on how far you can throw em... loaded or unloaded?

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In one word, how would you describe people who drink and drive? thirsty

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Im 16, & lost my virginity when i was 13. This may seem like alot and really bad, but ive had sex with 13 people , does that make me a whore? im 26, and ive slept with over 130 people. i too, lost my virginity at 13. that gave me the jump on most. that is an average of 10 people per year, roughly, and im very very proud of this fact. it is not easy being me...

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Do you have a pair of shoes in your automobile? yeah some chick left her flip flops in there last night after the bar. i know its just a reason to call me and see me again. THEY ARE SO SCANDALOUS!!

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How does one be normal or healthy in a relationship, or what is considered to be so. i saw this old couple one time, happily married, and i asked the old guy how he did it for so many years...he leaned over, put his arm around me, and whispered in my ear "CHHHHEEEEEAAAAATTTTTT"

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Look at something random in the ur room, What is it? julian date calendar

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So is everyone who lived before the time of Jesus going to hell for not believing in him? going? i think you meant 'gone to hell' and i asked the 8 ball..."its hopeful" ...welp, that settles it...

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Do you think Mc Donalds is responsible for most of the over weight people in america. It is just a question nutin personal. No. and here is my theory of obese people in america. No offense to anyone, in particular. especially fatty fat fat people. America is a 'one up' country, and i LOVE this country!! just throwing that out there. Only in America will one drive around a parking lot for 30 minutes to find a 'closer' parking spot. Only in America will one 'supersize, up size, or king...

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What is something that can be crumbled up and stirred into pudding? Diamonds!! i put diamonds in all my food cause it makes my dookie twinkle!!im the biggest baller ever!!

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Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is looking at a likely book deal that will get her upwards of $7 Million. Would you be interested in reading her book? really? hugh hefner offered her 7 mil? THIS IS GREAT!! ILL READ IT!!!

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What would be the most depressing Thanksgiving meal for someone who was alone? a wamburger and some french cries...

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Is the glove compartment inaccurately named? there is nothing in there to keep my fingers warm. i demand a swift orderly change...

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A song about a guy mad that a girl doesnt want him[R&B] i wanna pee on you - R. Kelley

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Do you know what you want? If so what is it? i tell you what i want, what i really really want. so ill tell you what i want what i really really want, i wanna i wanna i wanna really really really wanna zig a zig uhh

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Is there anything you would literally die for, even though you cant enjoy it after your dead? my own parking space...

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What is your pet name for your significant other? boo boo kittyf*ck, tits, toots, hey, saddlebags, side seat driver, or lane bryant. sometime you have to throw in an occasional 'doll' or 'gorgeous' but those are just code for 'where is my bj' lol... im just playin ladies...

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I'm a young girl, and i want the "damn, i wish i listened" advice so i can be ready for the future. give it, please :) to caviate of austinius, or if they say they are allergic to condoms. i did this once, and now have a 4 year old daughter, but she is amazing. her momma wasnt to happy to find out several years later that i was lying, but i giggled...

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Can you purchase hard liquor at Wallmart or just beer and wine? i really like your questions. it varies from state to state, due to liquor licensing laws. wal mart is one of the worst corporations ever, and you should never ever shop there. i could tell you why, but it would take all day. ps, dont ever ever get involved in some on the cynical, idiotic questions you will find on this site. i love your innocent, thoughtful questions, and its people like you...

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Is the lettuce in the taco fried in the taco or is it added after the taco is fried? dude i have always wondered this. i dont think its fried with the taco, (and we can hardly call it a taco, but ya know) maybe its the fried lettuce that makes me fart so much. great effin question tho! i love it.

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Who is your rock in life? ronnie james dio

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Do you think they should teach GAY marriage in school? they should schedule it right between recess, and lunch.

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How wonderful will it be to have small children in the White House again? Are you looking forward to it? i think MTV is doing an episode of cribs there too...

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Can you rely on your intuition? i couldnt even rely on my tuition. turns out you can spend 150 thousand on an education that you can get at the local library for a dollar fifty in late charges...

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Is it unmacho for a man to cry? if your dog dies, no. if your mom dies, no. if you stub your toe, suck it up you sissy bitch.

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I have bad luck me too. i never succeed at shower masturbation. it sucks.

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Hi. i am a college student and i have a very hectic schedule. i need a job because i dont like not having money for emergencies and to just go have fun and do things when i get the chance. i have looked around and cant seem to find anything suitable for sell crack to the kids!! no not really. your gonna have to do some night stuff. maybe a bar-back, or if you have experience, a bartender. its not what ya know, its who ya know. get out, get hooked up, and score a job. secret to life right there, btw

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An airplane crashes in london, the passengers are from america, and the pilot is from jamaica. Where would you burry the suvivors? why would you bury the survivors. well, except the pilot. burying jamaicans alive just feels right, doesnt it?

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My friend is 24yrs and she has just started to see a guy from work she has been flirting with but he is 51yrs, but he is very young minded. Do you think this is a problem? not if she takes all his money! that will teach the old bastard! i hate men that take away from good looking, hard working guys like myself. its like he is dipping his pen in ANOTHER companies ink, and writing checks he cant cash. the bastard. LOL

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Your voice is ___________. full of range, well trained, loud, and demanding.

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If you had but one question left to ask, what would it be? can you bury me face down so you have a place to park your bike?

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If you had a 270 pound man charging at you what would you do? parry, thrust, thrust! thats easy

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Which is more important to you; where your keys, cell phone, ipod, pda, or wallet is at this very moment? in this order. Wallet, keys, beer, cell phone, ipod, girlfriends.

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What kind of people do you not like to work with? usually the air force.

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Whenever 1 of my guyfrends dat likes me comes around,my ex comes by & gets closer. i asked my BFF if he was looking && she said dat he was. even my guyfrend notices dat he always comes round wen he's round & looks.what does it mean? are you kidding me. i think i have just lost intelligence trying to figure out your ebonic code of idiocracy. that was a cross between low class hillbilly, upstate valley girl, and east L.A. homes, get an edumacation. welcome to costco, i love you.

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The best place to listen to music is __________. in the zone!

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Do you remember what your 1st car was? If so, what was it? 1999 Chevrolet Silverado Z71. Paid her off, and kept her. I will keep her always, she never cheats, she never bitches, and she has kept me safe. She also lets me have other girlfriends now too, cause she knows i will have her forever.

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Boron has two isotopes, boron-10 and boron-11. Boron-10 has five protons and five neutrons. How many protons and neutrons does boron-11 have? Please explain homework sucks, so im not doing yours.

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If you are a Texan or a "I love Texas Texan" , I want to hear your voice!! What are you thinking these days!! its so hard to get back there. but im texas born, texas bred, and when i die, i'll be texas dead!

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When it comes to the sun, you ____________. throw on my burberry shades, drop the top on the beep beep jeep jeep, and dont wear underwear!

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Will you answer this question? (paradox time :D) to resist is to piss in the wind.

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Why isn't it socially acceptable to skip? i guess cause its kinda pompous and faggy. my best guess.

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Who Doesn't listen to music!? Helen Keller. she couldnt read it either.

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How many guys or gals have you dated at one time? i juggled around with 5 chicks some time last year. that was tough, and took the fun out of it. 3 is a good number, unless you really hit it off and get that shove into super serious mode, then you gotta lose the excess, and focus on that one. THAT is how it is supposed to be. F*ck em all, cause you might miss the right one. that is my motto.

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How come some people can do something like kill but not get the right punishment! I think if u kill some1, u should be killed that same way, unless it was self defense! Ex, Susan Smith should be put into a car and rolled into a lake like she did her kids! sometimes, its like ghandi said, 'an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind' . sometimes, however, an eye for an eye should be exercised. the problem these days is we are all so worried about hurting someones feelings. well i say f*ck feelings, they aren't protected in the constitution, the preamble, or any other document we live by. kill em all, or be killed.

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I cheated on my boyfriend and he cheated on me too but were still together will it work? i shook the magic 8 ball, and it said 'not likely'. but it has been known to be wrong sometimes. like the time it told me i was gonna win 1 million dollars...

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How would you describe your face in one word? animated

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My wife and I are having our first baby. We think it's a girl and are have trouble choosing a name. We like Rylie Jade Edwards, but we really want two middle names. So what name would sound good? Rylie ***** Jade Edwards... Fair is the first thing that came to mind. maybe more in conjunction with the first name. Rylie-Fair Jade Edwards.

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What was the last creepy sound you heard when you were alone at night? ooooh you feel alot like dad does..... i was like WTF!!

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If you could sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion with your younger self, what words would you share with her or him? CHEAT ON HER!!! DO IT!!! YOUR MISSING OUT!!! and then PULL OUT PULL OUT YOU FOOL!!

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How many doors you have in your apartment or house without going to count them? 9 doors, plus a doggy door, makes 10

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What is the most interesting statistic that you know? 87% of all statistics are made up

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How would you describe a relationship based on love? a man and his coors light...hmmmmm

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Why are there so many pricks in the world? some people have diabetes, and they do it to check their blood sugar.

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Is this true that a women can ditch a man for a nice pair of stilettos? only if they can hit the g-spot!

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Please confirm for me that I am not the only one who does not want the VP of the USA to wink at the camera, refer to herself as "Joe sixpack", and use phrases such as "you betcha" during a debate! i would rather have her wink at me, call her self "daddys girl" and say "i've been a bad girl" during one of our debates. then, she can be my vice president. HIIIYOOO!!!!

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Do you know a song with a Celtic theme? the fields of athenry - dropkick murphy the sun never shines - flogging molly

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Is there any way thats friends with benefits can work and wont get weird? nothing stays great forever. either one gets attached, or the other, or the sex starts feeling like the 5 year anniversary day, ya know, forceful and boring, or someone cries during sex (not always a bad thing), but this situation, like many others, has many outs of turning sour. no pun intended.

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Who is the most famous person from Rhode Island? Rhode Island? really? that place is as pointless as male nipples!! no offense to any rhode islanders, but come on!

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On your keyboard, when typing on Answerbag, can you push ALT and 1 at the same time , to produce a ☺? Or am I just lucky?☺☺☺☺☺☺ good info chris! i left a list on cyndi's answer about what all the other alt (plus a number does) its kinda neat! ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○

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If promiscuous women are "sluts", what is a promiscuous man called? 'fun seeking man seeking lady for a good conversation' at least thats what we say in our personals, or some other little lie like that!~

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Is there really a new Friday the 13th coming out? yeah, its in february. i believe on the 13th. lol

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Why should human beings derive a sense of self idenity through their hair and clothing? ask one of the witches, there seems to be alot of those with some erroneous salutations, and wierd hair to boot.

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What would you say or do if i told you i was a witch? i would ask if you know snoop dogg, cause he's a WEEATTCH too

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Would you recommend the use of eye protection and lose fitting rubber gloves when using muriatic acid to clean bathroom tiles at home? why? also you might want to keep handy some baking soda, just in case of an accidental spillage on any other part of your body. Muriatic (or hydrochloric) acid is extremely corrosive, and the base from the baking soda will neutralize it if spilled. happy cleaning!

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What makes you awesome? it had something to do with my mom's bird and my dads bee's wax. at least thats what i've been told. It made for one downright sucka that is too legit to quit, hey hey.

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How do you move on after someone broke up with you? you just float, ya know. float on. or sleep with her sister, whatever works.

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What tips do you have for a young adult leaving the 'nest'? there is no one left to regurgitate food into your mouth. time to start gettin creative with Ramen.

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My girlfriend says goodbye to me. what does it means? good bye in the english language means to are parting ways. call her friends.

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Why do Atheists Always Wear Big Hats and Sit in Front at the Movie Theater? i dont understand the question? was this in the new testament?

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If you could make a public service announcement, what would it be? ladies and gentleman, i have just handed a terrible and horrific news story. i need everyone to stop what you are doing, and listen.>>>>>>> CANNONBALL!!!!!!!

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Have you been in the Navy? no, but i was on ship with em this one time. i put the S-E-X in USS Essex!! thats right!!!

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Why do women continue to argue even when they see that their man is about to explode? black eyes are cheaper than maybelline mascara!

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Uh, hi! What is the fastest way to Uranus? as the crow flies to the nearest walmart, pick up some his and hers KY, (or for some of you, his and his) then some flowers, a couple roofies, and a nice bottle of boones farm. can we say "date rape"

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I'm 22 and thinking of getting circumcised. I hear females prefer it what do you think I should do? could you please pass the jelly?

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Is there something oxymoronical about owning a "WWJD" purple sequenced thong? that means i want to find jesus between your thighs

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Who do you think needs a lifetime supply of condoms? condoms are for sailors,

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Did the movie THE NOTEBOOK make you cry or get emotional? one of my favorite movies ever! and yes, even a manly man like my manly self teared up a little bit. thats right, i barbeque, drink beer, spit, cuss, pick scabs that i didnt even know i had, i once slept with a prostitute, i talk about guns, i shoot guns, i have a big truck, and a jeep, i have many tattoos, i once made my lobsters sword fight, i like bulldozers with machine guns driven by...

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Kiss my __________! brown eye!!

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What's a KILLER'S MOTIVATION? the name joanna! and then the scary music sets in...reeeee reeee reeeee reeeee reeeee!!! redrum redrum redrum

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What are some fun places to go for a date? i took this one chick on a date on time. it was a perfect moodsetter. we went and got lunch with a couple cocktails. then i took her bed shopping. we tested out several mattresses, before i was like poppa bear, and found the perfect one. when they delivered it, we christened it with a nice bottle of chardonnay. VOILA!!

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Do you keep your kitchen clean? for sure. that is a must, mom always taught me a dirty kitchen means a dirty person. its a product of my up bringing, i guess.

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If I go out your front door , turn left and walk 30 feet, where am I? in front of the house being built next door, which totally irritates me. seeing how hot it is in AZ, the workers start building at like 5am, and i can hear all that, seeing as how my window face the east. GRRRRR

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You're in the shower and you're out body wash. You substitute with ______. whatever is available. or i would curse a little bit, push my hair up in a mohawk, fart (and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower to get out of my bad mood), get out, shake my weiner at the chick in the bed and say "woot woot" get dressed, and go to store in basketball shorts, a tee shirt and some flip flopz to buy my required showering material. then id go back home, reverse the...

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Who was a better debater..... McCain or Obama? Please give the reason for your answer. Be specific with the issues.... No personal attacks please. mccain. he reiterated points too much, but at least they were of relevance, and directly related to the issue that was presented. anyway, i went over to my friends house the to watch it. i asked his 7 year old daughter what she would do if she was president. she told me she would give food to all the homeless people. so i made a deal with her. i gave her the option to come pick my weeds,...

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Have you ever flashed anyone your naughty bits? um i dont know. i walked into a party one time completely naked. like the day i was born. it was quite liberating

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What are my choices for bread? parmesan oregano, italian herb and cheese, wheat, honey oat bread, or white. would you like the 6 inch, or the 12 incn? toasted? would you like to make this a meal? that will be $8.33 please. have a nice day.

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Whats a right and a wrong thing to do when your first kiss happens? right : grab the titty wrong : pinch the nipple NEXT!!!

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What can you make out of one piece of paper? the twin towers burning, and if you flip it over, you can see the pentagon (the new 20 dollar bills)

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What should you do if an elephant charges you? refuse to pay that elephant whore!

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Why is the past important? the past is just the future with the lights on...

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How do you make kissing fun? do to the ole' brown eye!

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Are you so cool that you can Pop Your Collar? oh yeah im that cool. i dont even pop my collars, they pop themselves.

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I have what seems to be a zillion pairs of bikinis but of course i need more ♥ so which color, type or design do you think i should buy today? Ed Hardy has a very sexy line of bikinis (obviously for women, but dudes, dont be afraid if you need breast coverage too). i was looking at em the other day, and they are super duper hot!! then i saw this chick at the river in one, and i was like...SHWING!!

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Can you incorporate a line from a famous song to explain in one sentence how you feel right now? you were damaged long ago. though you swear that you were true, id still pick my friends over you...

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Who were the last band you saw live? Eve 6 in Okinawa, Japan

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What does your car (style) say about you? Im adventurous, rugged, and amphibious, but im still stylish, and one sexy mofo! 2008 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, soft top, snorkeled, 20 inch rockstars with nitto terra grapplers. its a jeep thing.

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Pretend I'm your ex, Do you hate me? The world collapsed around you and the word "love" became another word in the dictionary. I am not advocating a life of your indulgent self-pity but I think that the feelings of your youth must still be recognised and remembered. And we grew up. For that, I can never hate you. You wanna spend the night saturday?

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Open your diary on the 23rd of January , what does it say? THIS IS A BLOG I HAD FROM JAN 22 THROUGH JAN 30 Day 1: Dear Diary, today I begin the "Heaven on Earth" project, the first of its kind. If successful I shall go into mass production. I've a production schedule of eight days and had developed all the plans and lodged the relevant Council approvals myself. The project has started late. The contractors claim I gave them...

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I'm dying to fall in love....what should I do? fill your bathtub up with chocolate pudding, sit on the side, and just trust the pudding to catch you. you are now in love. because chocolate pudding bathtubs are love.

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What are the mistakes in the evolution theory? The trouble that we have visited upon evolution and science is another matter altogether, and one that offers the opportunity for a concerted effort between scientific materialism and spiritual morality if we are to make any headway, and fast, in rising to the enormous challenge. Love is at the heart of the matter: love and reverence. The 'God' secretly referred to in this question is...

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You have Everything, What do you do next? For me, it's all the experiences that I've been through, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the laughter and the tears, the friends and the jerks, the black and the white... This is everything! You mix them all together in a large salad bowl, add some salad dressing, there you go - Life. I guess i would take out the cherry tomatoes, remove the onions and brussel...

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If someones avatar offended you. would you tell them or just let it go? maybe they are just avatarded. i leave em alone. cant make fun of the avatards.

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What does your shirt say right now? Marine Corps Martial Arts Program Instructor ON THE BACK : Sargeant of Marines

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How do you like to let other drivers know you that you are "up set with them?" i dont get upset very often on the road, but if i feel the need to honk, i have 2- 3stack train horns mounted under the rails of my truck, powered by an air compressor, and you can LITERALLY watch people jump. dont do it at the airport in San Diego though, i almost got arrested!

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If you had to give 1 million dollars to one person, who would you give it to and why? Bill Gates. as a gift. and i would give him Windows back too. "here you go Billy boy, thought i would dump all the evil on you"

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What is toilet water made of? Currently, im on ship, and if i had to guess what is in salt water i would say chlorine, sodium, sulfur, magnesium, calcium, and potassium. oh yeah, and of course hydrogen and oxygen. making this water unsuitable to drink, but perfect for washing down poopies.

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Men: If you were an actor would it be hard for you to kiss another male in a role? well, i have...kind of. Me and my brother (11 months younger, and almost as good looking) met these 2 chicks at a club in pensacola florida who claimed to be bi. we told them we were too, after secretly discussing our game plan. well, they called us out, and we kissed. one thing led to another, and .... WHAAAAAMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!

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Where the hell is my digital camera? I need to transfer the photos off it so I can have space on it for the thing I'm doing tomorrow. Its in the last place you look. that is a fact.

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What is your most downrated answer? post link for others to DR. http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2766664 Guess they got offended with quotes. its from a Simpsons episode...

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How are Mexican American immigrants different than any other immigrants? Because they have the best taco stands ever! and they use repollo instead lechuga!!! Genious!!! i love all my mescan homeys! 13 fa life playa!! ps im white

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I have girlfried yeah. i like mine sunny side up, break the yoke, mix her up with some salsa, and kick her out by dinner. sometimes i'll wash her down with some creme...

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What is the state song of Alabama? deep in the heart of texas

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Who is the greatest living American today? John Denver. oh you said living. well in that case, christopher reeves, oops, i did it again. i mean brittany spears.

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I am sitting here typing into a keyboard and was wondering what the purpose of this is? I want an answer but don't know how to get one, the question I am asking is what I am answering, If the answer is asking a question, how do I question the answer? We all have come here to unadulterate the truth, hew the stone and knock down walls, seek our dreams, build our nightmares, love for love, slam the doors, smash the mirrors, blow out the candles, tear down bridges, denounce education, reinvent the wheel, chew bubblegum, burn water, get drunk on 'troll' juice, stroll the Cyber Fields, dance round bonfires, drown in chocolate, walk on...

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Other than the conventional meaning of R.I.P., what else might these letters stand for if found on a gravestone? Remain in Place Marine Corps Aviation term

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Do you think that life's nothing more than a reasonless mess? This posting is for Stronghart and JaneAllen, and to which i give them credit. For, without them, my heart would never have been nourished with only what my thoughts consume. Therefore i took my heart to an 'all you can eat' brain buffet. Its outcome is as follows, summed up to help keep proficiency of answerbags servers : In short, if God created the universe as a special place...

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2 girls 1 ____ Book, and there is too many pages between the covers.

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Did man really go to the moon? we landed on the moon? HaHa!!! this is great!!! HEY EVERYBODY, WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!!! COCKTAILS ON ME!!

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Why are girls hot? because they are just like summer camp. 2 wet holes and 98.6 degrees.

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Do you think that life's nothing more than a reasonless mess? I asked God this one time. I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?" Could I not see that we're all manifestations of love and methods of madness. that this is all not reasonless? that there is a...

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Environment day slogans on global warming save the ozone, and your ass : WALK TO SUBWAY!!! or

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If i asked nicely and said please would you do it? my mom always told me to get in the car with the first stranger that asks...

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Do you hide behind a smile? yeah, but my ass tends to stick out.

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Is lettuce actually healthy, or is it just less bad for you than other foods? lettuce is high priced rabbit food. its water that has grown into a ...vegetable? kind of. eating lettuce is like having an a**hole on my elbow.

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I just found hickey on my 14 yr old daughter. Any advice? DONT KICK THE DOG!!!

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What is the most ironic thing about Adolf Hitler? (my dad told me today and i think its weird but do you know?) He had homosexual tendencies, a jewish family descent, brown hair, brown eyes, and as for being hated as much as he is, he by far excelled past any definition of what we call 'leaders' today. just a thought...

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If homosexuality is such a "going-to-hell-worthy" trait, why didn't Jesus Christ condemn it, specifically? innocently enough, i went and asked him. this is how are meeting went : he was behind his desk, and was takin notes at my posture and presentation, when i asked him if gays go to heaven. simply for answerbag sake, i needed a straight answer. Well, he started to tell me how we are all unique snowflakes on top of a mountain, and each snowflake has a purpose and blah blah blah. he was beatin...

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A Guy massage therapist massages ladies breast as a service, He says he checking for breast Cancer--What do you think? Well its not so bad. behind the breast tissue are very important muscles, that especially on women, are very tense. Now, if you do not feel comfortable with this, your therapist should know right away. YOU are in charge. however, if you want the full body affect, go with it. why? because they are tits. sure, guys talk about tits and they look great and all, but trust me, they arent what brings...

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12 grams = ___ ounces ( in a fraction) 40 oz's of a big tall glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!!

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I am always in a irrational fear.i think i may get caught and beaten up if a person mistake me for someone else who might looks alike me and the former has done very much harm to him. how can i prove my innocense at that very moment;if by chance i could lie down in the fetal position, and cover your face. that portrays innocence. 100% or you could stand and fight like a man. no fear is irrational. it reminds us we are human, just like everyone else. and you have just as much chance to beat up the 'attacker' as he has with you. stand tall, stand proud and get beat up, or kick his ass...

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I just got my state taxes back, i got 100 bucks! how much did you get back? i dont pay state taxes. The military is not responsible for state taxes in my state...along with several others.

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I'm a very introvertic person. I don't enjoy clubbin, drinking or even spending time with friends. I like to be home with my gf and just do things together. Is that a bad thing? i enjoy passionate talks, long walks on the beach, eating chocolate cake with my feet, and drawn out hallucinations of my grandmothers ghost. we should hook up.

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Have you ever kissed anyone named Mike? no, but i kissed a chick named Mika

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Have you ever met somebody who looked a lot like an ex? Were you a little creeped out by it? i once met a chick whose 'private' area (you know, the oyster ditch, the ham wallet, the chick wrinkle, the cranny axe) was identical to an ex girlfriends. yeah, turned that into a one nighter real quick. it was just wierd!

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Looking back 5 years: did you expect to see yourself in the position you are in now in life? yep!

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My girlfriend's carrier is T-Mobile, and mine is Sprint. As of today, when she tries to call me, she gets a message saying that all circuits are closed (message # PA92855). (Continues in the answer) this is a long time problem between the 2 carriers. it comes and goes. sprint sucks. t-mobile sucks. and well, you are SOL.

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What are the three states of matter? texas, california, and new york. lol. or 1.) mathematics - it mind over matter 2.) philosophy - if you dont mind, it dont matter 3.)springer's hillbillies - i was bad folk til i matter. she done changed m'life

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So ive been dating my boyfriend for like 6 days and i really really like him but is it considered love? only if he put the PB in the J. you know what i mean?

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Looking back 5 years: did you expect to see yourself in the position you are in now in life? i signed a 5 year military contract 4 years and 9 months ago, and never knew i would be re-enlisting. Turns out, if you do 5, mine as well do 9. if you do 9, mine as well do 20.

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Who would win, Arnold Shwarzenegger or Chuck Norris? Arnold. why? because chuck norris is a b!tch. he was originally born chuck stevens, but he took his wifes name when they got married. he is a frozen virgin vaj.

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Is it legal for your neighbor to have 9 audio/video security cameras POINTED DIRECTLY AT OUR Home and to record 24/7 our every oves? Our comings and goings? They are actually AUDIO recording our conversations INSIDE our home now!I have a police report sta methamphetamines arent really legal either...im just sayin. but i think you can have all the video you want, but no audio. at least in most states. do they have helicopters too?

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My daughter of 1 year 2 months has not got teeth yet. Our paedeatrician suggested not to worry as some children get teeth upto 1.5years. Is there any problem, should we consult a dentist, Please suggest i didnt get my first tooth til i was almost 2 and a half. i didnt lose my first tooth til i was 13. strange huh? but i have perfect teeth, and i mean perfect. i think it is a sign of evolution!

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Is it gay for a guy to hug another guy? i've got a general rule among my friends. Lets say my hands are dirty, and i need to reach in my pocket, but i cant, so my pal has to do it. as long as he reaches in palm OUT, that is totally straight. if he goes palm in, thats gay, but he might not know the rule, so it still has a possibility of being straight. ANOTHER EXAMPLE, say my nads itched really bad, but both arms were broke and i...

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If you could bring back someone from the early 80's and show them how much technology advanced, what do you think they'd say? 'Great Scott' - Doc, Back to the Future

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Contrary to popular belief, what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas. Who agrees? ...and that was the second time i got clametia!!

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I'm thinking about becoming a stand-up comedian, but I'm not funny and I have stage fright. What do you think I should do? I do stand up, mainly for the military, as i am a Marine, and enjoy entertaining. But it is not for the timid, at all. you have to show emotion, you have to use the audience, you have to IMPROVISE! try being a writer, sit back and take note of the hilarities that occur throughout a day. tell stories to friends, not obviously trying to be funny, and see if how they react. Comedy can be found...

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What is one answer in your history that you thought should have gotten more attention then it did? If you can direct me to it, I would love to check it out. THIS ONE...its a classic, and my favorite. i think it was bad timing! http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/194644

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What's the most romantic flower? blossomed, but not bloomed. ill take a dozen.

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Guys point of view??? "what is cheating" when you put your spoon in the wrong bowl of cheerios. Its only cheating if you get caught, or its not 2% milk. whichever comes first.

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What is your favorite line in a movie? CHASING AMY - I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing...

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I wish men would WEAR the clothing styles of the 60's and 70's. Steve McQueen/Paul Newman style COOL & SEXY.Even the bathing suites they wear today are horrible. No eye candy for the ladies when you wear those long shorts and they make you look deformed! Actually, ive been shopping online the past couple of weeks for some out of the ordinary 50's, 60's and 70's clothing. Im gonna bring back the oversized collar look, i think its cool. I also got a bathing suit, but it was hard to find a good one that you didnt wear at your belly button. the site i found the most appealing was dressthatman dot com. its stuff that was made today,...

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Has Jesus washed your sins away? unfortunately the state of california dont see things the same way! damn traffic court!

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Is death really the beginning? On a large enough timeline i guess the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. making death the beginning of a new timeline, in which you may or may not be pushing daiseys. just dont die without at least a few scars, cause in the beginning, thats all you have to show. just dont quit smoking on your deathbed, its pointless.

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What was the strangest thing a teacher ever said to you? "Whatever. You can't teach God anything."

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Do you have an interesting first date story? ATTENTION ATTENTION THIS IS A MUST READ!!!yeah, its long. but ill sum it up. she was indian (half) and thought she could drink. about 10 sex-on-the-beaches she was done, well, because its purely pineapple juice, and that alone will kill someone. so we were outside of this bar with some friends, and she leaned on me, said she loved me, and passed out. fun, i thought. just pure fun. another drunk...

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If you looked at your watch/clock right now what time is it and where are you at? 0054. gettin late

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Even if someone is gone from you for awhile, you can still feel their love, can't you? oh sure i could. i felt it alright. All 37 *&cks worth that she could manage to stuff in during 7 months. thats right. felt all of em. and i felt her love when i told her it wasnt just good bye, it was "try not to suck any *&cks on the way to the parking lot". Bachelorhood has never quite been so great. its only after i lost her that i was free to do ANYTHING. I hope she...

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Im pregnant but im only 15. what do i do Seems like all the cool kids are dumpin em in garbage cans these days. maybe you should wrap it up in an old abercrombie shirt first, preferably one of your boyfriends, who obviously, couldnt wrap'something'. but hey, can you blame him. chicks give away perfectly good ovarian products these days. dont worry darlin, santa still has you on his "nice" list. I had to edit due...

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What is your opinion of MySpace? Myspace is gonna own the next galaxy. so they can literally be MySpace. its gonna have a bunch of tiny little planets, that people travel in between as often as your common european tourist, seeing the sparkly little banner on Starbucks planet, sponsored by those stupid little moticons that make all that racket. Whores are gonna advertise clothes, right next to politicians for the ruler of...

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Real or Fake Breasts? Small, Medium or Large Breasts? (i'm sure this has been asked before ... but I am debating having my breasts done because I am so little and have a small rack lol) Ill take some scar tissue with a side of silicon please. oh and uh, can you make mine a double. thanks. you dont have that? i'll just have a mammary martini then, extra dry, and shake of the excess areola. that should please the pallate.

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If you had to name your newborn child after a part of the human body, what would you choose? Hyman. Sir Hyman Austin. its beautiful.

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Is it wrong for me to go around giving everyone -5s just because I want a lower ratings given percentage? -5 defense only counts in Dungeons and Dragons... GEEEEEEEEK!!!!! did i get one?

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What song has the greatest "hook" of all time? 'too legit' - MC Hammer the inventor of the hook!

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What articles of clothing do you have that use Velcro? My flight suit. holds my patches on. and for the dirty jobs, my coveralls, and velcro holds my patches on there too. buttons are FOD (foreign objects/debris) that could be a potential hazard to aircraft motor and flight.

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Were you in grade school when it was ok to say the pledge of allegiance? Yes i was. its not okay anymore? Well then, i think i'll go rape the Statue of Liberty and hold witch trials in Salem. and while im at it, i'll learn french, by a dradel, and hide in the basement of a coffee shop until the Germans leave. After that, and only after that, i think i will walk out into the middle of a street, get ran over by a carriage being pulled by pilgrims and steered...

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What would be your reaction if I was waiting at your door when you arrived home today? DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! The Germans sure would love your autograph!! i think they are over there <points easterly> J/K i like your questions!!

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I'd walk a million miles for one of your ... ? ... "...turds. Whatcha doin satuday night girl?" classic socrates pick up line... HEED AND LEARN GENTLEMAN!!

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Guys, do you like girls with washboard abs? Two wet holes and a washboard, thats what i always say. not so much the abs... IM KIDDING LADIES!!

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Will you or have you avoided answering or asking a controversial question in fear of losing points? Controversy in the bag is just sucky, sucky, sucky. (in my opinion) most people on here get all butt-hurt, racism and nationality gets involved, then people start flingin f-bombs, ignorance sets in, then there is money missin off the dresser, and your daughter gets knocked up. ive seen it a million times...

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When you think of Louisiana, whats the first thing that comes to mind? My little girls, my wonderful coonass (meaning acadian decent) ex wife, boudin balls, drive through daquiri stands(oh yeah) and beautiful women (believe it or not)

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If you had saved 5 grand and had 2 weeks, where would you plan to go and why? (I need suggestions for next summer!) *edit: I'm thinking beyond europe, i've been there a few times. eh and not in US... PRAGUE!!!!

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If you could buy the rights to a word, and only you could have the word, what word would it be? word. clownshoes

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My family doesn't know i wet the bedI am 25. should i Tell them and what to say? doctors find nothing wrong but stress. Earl Earl Earl. i dont know about you, but from your last few outlandish questions, let me tell you this. seeing as you unwantedly cum in your girlfriend, you pee the bed, and you are nuerotic like the rest of the world, listen up. Go to bed at night, fall asleep during sex, piss on your girlfriend, sign a couple papers, and call it marriage. you will live happily ever after. The end.

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Have you ever felt like you're a really long way away from where you should be, need to be, or want to be, and if you have ~ why did you feel like that? All the time. i miss my little girls (4 and 2). I have been in the Corps since they have been born, and dont get to see them as much as i want to, or should. But they know i miss em, and im out savin the world like a superhero! I guess i should be there, i know i need to be there, and i definately want to be there, but duty calls.

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When was the first time you kissed a boy? NEVER...and i cant remember the last time...

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Just type any words that are in your head right now. Get them ALL out! I wanna destroy something beautiful. like burn down a sunset, shoot out a stained glass window, make an arch a triangle. i wanna become mr. rogers and curse out loud. i wanna by a million packs of cigarettes and smoke em all and walk out onto 5th street only to get hit by a bus. then i wanna be resurrected as the marlboro man, and beat up Harley Davidson. i wanna ride where i fall, race where...

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Would overdosing on a pain killer be a painless death?? i need to know.. im sick of life.. naw it hurts. try something else, like...oh go see a counselor. they can bore you to death. its painless. but if you wanna die, do it with some glory, and muster up the nuts to have a little pain. kick your own ass. light your face on fire. do something glorious, like skydive while talking on a cell phone to your mother, without a parachute, and slit your wrists on the way down, while playing...

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Have u ever wet on someone's bed r wet some were other than the toilet just to do it? well, yes, kindof. i once went to this chicks condo after a heavy night of drinkin. and i pee'd in her bed, when i woke up, i gently slid her in the puddle, put on my shorts, that were dry and on the floor, and when she woke up, she thought she did it. it was so hard not to laugh, but it worked. she was so embarassed!!

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Why does there seem to be so many desperate, needy, and or neurotic people on AB? HEY! leave us neurotics out of this! most people are hear because they are slightly neurotic, and its a beautiful thing, so dont destroy it!!! Nuerocism isn't such a bad thing, keeps your mind aware...

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There's this guy that let's everybody sign his cast and his yearbook except for me and he is always telling me to go away and will never let me get on the computer.What should I do? stop pestering your little brother!!

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What do you have planned for the weekend? Im stuck on this SHIP!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! im so missing summer!! get me off of here!!

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Is it about time to change your style when 10 years old kids you pass in the street tell you you're wearing a "cool t-shirt"? (I'm 18) no way. im 25 and i still rock a lego tee shirt. im that cool. i would just take their lunch money.

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What is the germiest thing in the world? A hotel remote control. think about it.

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The other day my friend commented that he cannot trust a "smooth" talker. What are your views? you wouldnt know if it was a true 'smooth talker'. wink wink

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If you were a member of a rock band, what instrument would you want to play? the microphone! i play the guitar, but its so much harder to entertain and sing with passion with that thing weighing you down!!

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What's your avatar look like in a bigger form? a cartoon of myself about a year before i joined the Corps. i dont have a picture of it on this computer...

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What do you think of woman who go to bars by themselves? Do you REALLY think they are just there for a drink? or are they just a sitting duck waiting to be picked up or do the picking up? If i am there, they are definately tryin to get picked up...

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How do you know when it's time to lose weight? when your girlfriends panties dont fit you anymore...

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Do you always give points (- or +) when you answer a question because you have an opinion on the subject enough to post? sometimes i forget, and i gotta go back, which sucks, because of this ship's satellite connection and government intranet! tax dollars hard at work here!! but i always award points if i answer. its an unspoken rule of etiquette.

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What's the NO.1 thing Men want? A PENCIL!! I always manage to get the NO. 2 pencils, and i only want a no. 1. can somebody just get me a freakin no.1 pencil. for the love of obama!!!

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say "Texas"? <singing> The stars at night are big and bright (clap, clap clap clap) DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!!

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Do you have any nasty habits? My doggie style!! woot woot!!!

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Is killing civilians during was ever justified? if they break the ROE, sure. ORM is always a useful tool. Risk my life, or theirs? hmmmm....tough choice.

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Do men want shaved vagina or unshaved vagina! ill take 2. thanks.

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Head count! how many are here? 6, 7, and 8. im that good.

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What is the worst type of bug you've ever seen? Camel spiders. an awful creation, whoever it is you choose to blame. fun to play soccer with tho... any spider (well, actually an arachnid) that chases you is just...well...BAD!

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What's your favortie restaraunt? The Oyster Bar - New Orleans Tony Mandola's - Houston, TX Aztec Burrito's - San Diego, CA Sams by the Sea - Okinawa, Japan Waffle House - across the U.S.!!!

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If you could engrave anything on your heart what would it say? Non teneas aurum totum quod splendet ut aurum (dont hold everything as gold that shines as gold)

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Do you share the same birthday as anyone else on AB ? October 25 th for me . Superbowl Sunday, 1983.

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If you had a chance to fly in any military aircraft, what would it be? Well, ive been in a 15. i've been in a c130, c17, c5. been in a ch46, 53 (deltas and echos). Been in a flight with the Osprey. (MV22). Got taken up in an F7F tomcat (thanks Mike) and he also paid for our Marine Corp ball this past year. but i tell you what, ive worked on the AV8b Harrier II for the past 7 years now, ive been to the simulator, im even qualified to Hi-power test run these...

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I'm trying to think of a good way to mildly freak out random strangers, got any suggestions? there is so much you can do for this. of course you can always say random things at random times. tell a waiter to bring you a box for your leftovers, its for the badgers. or ask someone if they want a ride, the streets are contaminated. set a brief case (obviously not yours) under a co workers desk, and ask em if they hear that 'ticking noise', draw a circle in chalk around...

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Texas' first convicted killer to be committed under the state's Sexually Violent Predator Program has been arrested again, this time accused of secretly starting a sexual relationship with a female jailer. What do you think about that? whoever said progress was a slow process wasnt talkin about this guy. at least he didnt kill her. hopefully she at least got off.

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What do you think of Bellagio in Vegas? Has anyone stayed there before or did anything there like see the Cirque Du Soleil show O I LOVE the Bellagio. as a matter of fact, i have a picture of it as my desktop background. its just my kinda place. Good atmosphere, rich single women, TAN tables (i love that) and well put together. oh that was the vacation of all vacations. Highly recommend you stay there. it was 2 years ago, and im dying to go back. It was incredible. Wow. Wow.

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Don't you find Nelly Furtado incredibly sexy? dude, ive been on a boat for 6 weeks. im finding Hillary Clinton sexy.

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You don't tug on supermans cape, don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the 'ol lone ranger and you don't__________what else is a big no-no? crap where you eat, bite the fick that ducks you, blow in an ashtray, p*iss upstream, fight fire with fire, be the 'one'

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What are three things you can't do? I cant paint totem pole faces on skyscrapers, I cant blow up all of humankind history, and i cant hide in the zoo at night from all the wolves and bears that lurk. That about covers it.

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How do i feed my 1 week old kittens there mother has abandonon them another trick, which also works well with goats : soak a corner of rolled cloth in milk and let them suck on it. its more natural than a syringe. i dont like cats, but i guess you cant let them starve...

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What would you do if Madonna and Justin Timberlake only had 4 minutes to save the world? Make like a virgin, and bring sexy back!

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What would be a good manly, rugged mans name? peewee

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Rib Eye Steak, it was a little rare, was I too impatient? no, you did it just right. i do rib eyes kinda like a filet, depending on thickness. throw it on with still a good flame (depending on your coal type i.e. wood vs. charcoal) keep it just out of reach of the flame, when the juice starts coming out the topside, flip it for another 5-10 min, depending on how you like it. i like it rare to medium rare, still a little chewy. QUALITY OF MEAT IS...

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Im white and i dont find black people attractive. its not like i think any lower of them im just not physically attracted to them. so why do people call me a racist? dont sweat it. my dad always said your not a man until you split black wide open, but i never took him up on that. i have found some black women attractive, but they were more mulatto or 'yellabone' as might be more understood. ohfasho. good question to ax.

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In a Family Guy episode Stewie is going through pancake withdrawls and he sees himself climing on the wall and his head spins 180 degrees. What is this a reference to? the exorcist

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I went to court today and in the chair that we have to sit in sat alot of scuzzy people. Well putting my wallet back into my pocket it touched the chair. What are the chances of my wallet getting nasty germs on it and being disgusting? OCD much?

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What is the best way of suducing a man? when you just met them follow your own perversity... or a simple 'package check' will do. it is totally seductive to know that she wants it immediately, and is not afraid to let out her womanly lust with such a carnivorous attitude. grrrrr....

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What is your one passion that keeps you going? my nuerosis. Constantly looking for something or someone to out-do. hitting rock bottom to see how much further i can fall. shooting fish in a barrel, and always narrowly missing. and doing it all with a smile.

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What color are your sunglasses? i probably have every flavor. I collect sunglasses. just acquired a pair of RayBans from the 70's... they are black. my favorites are my Ed Hardy sunglasses, with a drawing on the sides that resembles one of his tattoos, with gems decorating it. they are SWEET!! I LOVE SUNGLASSES! a little wierd huh??

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Please complete: If I say you have a beautiful body___________ can i buy you an ikea couch, check your mail, water your plants and take your dog for a walk?

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How can you tell when some is cheating on you? when she gets the same wrong answers as you. when she stops being a beautiful and unique snowflake. you'll just know. it will come to you. my trick, BEAT EM TO THE PUNCH!!

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Are we as human beings supposed to do anything else other than procreate? no. we are supposed to destroy all beautiful things for contentment. lets push over the leaning tower, burn down the louvre, wipe our ass with a shard of the mona lisa, destroy the remains of a temple with a sledge hammer, pretend we can rope the moon, and then maybe, just maybe, we can walk across 5th street with our head helds high and get hit by a bus. then we will die accomplished, maybe.

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What annoys you more than anything when going through a drive through? people constantly switching from drive to park everytime they move an inch! the reverse lights flicker drives me MAD! and people who bounce on the brakes making the brake lights flicker. Or thugs with the 'boom boom' in the trunk who dont know crap about crap "pull up your pants Kid, and get the hell out of my way. Ive got a happy meal waitin on me!"

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If you had to name your newborn child after a colour, which one would you choose? Whitey

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My husband is leaving on the 4th of June to go to Iraq. We have 2 baby girls and have also gotten custody of my 2 neices. Is it wrong of me to resent the government for taking him away from us? yes. you cant expect the bull to not charge you because you are a vegetarian. The wife has the hardest service of all for a soldier, and you should be proud of your country and your government for providing you an oppurtunity of such faithful service to your family. and without going on and on, the country pays him for having a family, and still doing a job which hopefully, like myself, his...

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What's your preffered brand of deodorant? Axe, and cant keep the chicks away from me at the gym, they hang from the flat bar, inner twine them selves in the cables, and try to get in my shorts with me still in them. its amazing.

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What book from adulthood do you absolutely have to share? Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follett about love life romance death dishonor treachery rape and oh yeah, a cathedral. Great book, great lesson. im about to start the sequel. OR Bartleby, The Scrivener - Herman Melville one of melvilles short (and i mean short) stories that you can tell melville was lost in his self after the initial failing of Moby Dick. He went way out on a limb in this...

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What is the most important thing to remember in life? long is the road, and hard, that out of hell you will see the light.

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Be creative. If you were homeless and had to stand on a street corner with a cardboard sign, what would you write? Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...

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Replace one word in any movie title with the word vagina. what do you got? Pirates of the Vagina

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Have you ever bitten into a hamburger and found one of those hard or sometimes chewy pieces? How did it make you feel? it was kinda like climbing the rope in gym class, you know.

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Guys: Whats the best thing you like to hear from your girl, when having sex? You are better than my brother was... LOL

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Will you post a picture of what Summer means to you? The shocker!

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How do you handle a situation where the man you love tells you hes happy 25% of the time in your realtionship.. what do you do!!! Find someone else for the other 75%...

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Do you like applebees what do you get there? The food sucks. i like my bartender, ms. Nina, and the buy one get one Brutus, and they always have the Phoenix Suns playing.

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If you were given a plane ticket for free and told you could go anywhere in the world for 4 weeks and all your work and other obligations would be taken care of, BUT NO CEL PHONE or PHONE CALLS during that time, where would you go? Why there? i've had enough of the world for one year, get me back to the states.

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Do you agree that in the U. S. there is a growing disparity between the highly visible wealthy, and the invisible poor? We've got the most prosperous culture in human history and we've also got the biggest spiritual hole in human history. The divergency you may notice is due to a growing technological advance, in which the poor cant keep up to even the lowest standard, no matter how visible. If your not careful, CNN, MTV, Vogue, Newsweek...they will all have you hating people with nothing, and...

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What in your opinion is the most romantic gesture? its the simple things. like knowing how long it takes my arm to fall asleep with your head on it. and knowing that im not gonna move for fear of waking you, you move yourself. and moving your hair so it doesnt tickle my nose!

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Do you believe me when I tell you everything's going to be alright? nope. but i believe Bob Marley when he tells me 'everythings gonna be alright, everythings gonna be alright, marijuana's in the house tonight, and everythings gonna be alright' i dont smoke, but everythings gonna be alright.

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What kind of world would this be if we all got what we deserved? if we got half of what we deserved, we would have twice as many problems...

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Do you prefer to have showers at night, or morning? and Why sometimes both. but no matter the time, you can guarantee im gonna draw boobs on the steam left on the mirrors. and im gonna make a shampoo mohawk. its inevitable.

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Have you ever met someone you thought you wouldn't like just by looking at them? Were you right? yes, yes and no. i have been decieved by some peoples looks before. but not always.

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I suffer from a vomiting disorder and I am already skinny; how can I stop people from making bulimia comments? purge quieter. nobody wants to hear that.

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ARE YOU GAY? WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!!!!!! IF I WAS A CHICK I WOULD BE. BUT IM NOT.

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On what day of the week does the garbage truck come by to pick up garbage for you? we throw all biodegradable overboard. usually around 5pm or so...

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Pick a card, any card. What is the first card that comes to mind? 4 dead Gypsies and a 6 of clubs. wierd huh? i think someone mixed the Tarot with the Bicycles again. silly fools.

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Where was the last place you went hiking? North of Yuma Arizona, Palm Canyon. Palm trees naturally grow inside this crevace in a hill. quite odd...

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Good morning abers are you having a good day? Well, i had a good day. its my night time though. thanks!

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What are some sayings about birds? birds dont sing because they have answers, they sing because they have songs.

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The greatest baseball player of all time? what an unfair question!! Barry Bonds, and to hell with the mitchell report. Greatest of our time. Sandy Koufax, Ty Cobb, Johnny Bench...there is just too many greats to pick just one! not fair! i dont like this question!

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Is it rude to let a girl come in your bedroom? my grandma says it is. as long as she comes first its not rude...

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Do you agree with Fergie telling the press to lay off her daughter? (I think she looks fine in her bikini.) i wouldnt want to lay off her daughter either. sorry fergie, if i cant have you, ill lower my standards to raise my average.

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If I buy you a beer, what will you do for me? Drink it, with you. Then hit up the next round of Jameson, followed by a cold one.

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What makes tomorrow guess? the past is only the future with the lights on.

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Is there a plug in the bottom of the ocean? and trees make noise when they fall in the forest, but nobody is around to hear it.

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What is the best way to remove a LARGE amount of weeds from a heavily planted garden? When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. Start pulling. With this large amount of weeds gives you the time to weed your mind of its own poorly placed stalks. But make no mistake: the weeds will win, nature bats last.

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Do women's magazines like Vogue empower or oppress women? Now these magazines i just dont get. And im a man, and i know, men are useless creatures only here for procreation and if that wasnt the case, we would never get a date blah blah blah... but come on ladies you read a hundred pages of "men are useless bastards," and an article about why you should wake him up with a blow job. Am I alone in spotting the inconsistency here? just...

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What is hollywood missing? Sodom and Gomorrah.

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Are you always open to be advised for your own sake? The only person who can change the mind of another is someone that's got one. Ill advice is harmful. Its like peeing in the pool of professionalism.

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What kind of compliments do guys like? intelligent ones. There is a huge difference in good, sounding compliments, and compliments that sound good. Most of us know we look good, or at least think so. or just dont care. so stay away from anything to do with looks. most of all, remember, you cant hold a man up without being up with him. meaning, be worthy of your compliment.

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Should i have a baby?? why or why not? What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs. Do what you want. Any woman should be able to easily choose whether she is or is not ready to be a mother. If you cannot, then you shouldnt.

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Think of a sentence using the word responsibility in it We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

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In your opinion, what is the most popular piece of art in history? It could be a painting, Photo, etc. You know, honestly, it has to be either the great pyramids, or any of the 11th/12th century English Cathedrals. Phenomenal buildings and beautifully designed, and very often visited...

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How can we help prevent war? spearheads have been found in the ribcages of some of the oldest skeletons ever found. War has been a way of life for mankind from the beginning. the only way to help prevent war is to wage war.

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I have a terrible toothache and salt water isn't working and i just ran out of pain killers is there anything else i can do? stub your tow, hit your finger with a hammer. close a door on your ear, or fall out of the second story window.

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What are the differences between girl/boyfriends, lovers, partners and significant others? girl/boyfriends you cheat on, lovers you cheat with. partners you lie with, significant others you lie too. life is great.

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Do you work with someone who is always late? Coming in to work, back from breaks, takes 5 more minutes at lunch? In my job, you cant just be fired for being late. therefore, we all take turns on long lunches, half days off, and personal errands. its whatever, we save the world, so the world can wait for us. superhuman stuff. if i told you id have to kill you.

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If a i told you was that i have blue hair, blond hair and C cups, what is your first thought about me? you are courtney love doing cartwheels in a summer dress with no panties. blue, blonde, blue, blonde, blue blonde...i could watch that all day.

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Whats the longest youve gone without talking to your significant other? wether from a fight or not being able to. 7 months, or 36 dicks later. wait, maybe it was 37. i dont know, ask her.

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What is your favorite old time saying? Or for that matter, what is your favorite saying in general? Get that Butt!!! Or Dont bite the D!ck that F^cks you, honey.

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What could Barack Obama offer Hillary Clinton to persuade her to withdraw from the race? "hillary is a doodoo head" barack says. 'No your the doodoo head, poopoo licker' returns hillary. 'well, you just smell like licked poop from the potty' barack says. 'im tellin' says hillary. "no dont tell. do you want half of my cookie?"

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What is the first thing that comes to mind when you see this, (.)(.)? pitted olives. what do i win?

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What is in the space between like and love? prostitution.

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What in Your opinion is the greatest Quote of all Time? even monkey fall out of trees - me or Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution. - Jay Leno

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Do you love to travel? Wow. do i ever! right now im just outside of Burma, was just in thailand, singapore, indonesia, and the philipines. southeast asia is great, except for their chain of unfortunate events, but we are trying to help with that!

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My friend said when he served in the military, he acted like he was nuts, and they liked that. Is this true? Not at all. Most branches are based on professionalism. And professionals is what MOST are, on or off the battlefield. No one in any MOS can do their job without a little since of pride, no matter the rank, no matter the service. In the Marine Corps, we hold ourselves up to a higher standard of ethos. There is always that 10%, you know what im talking about... Throughout the services they are...

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When you first joined AB, did you hang out in a certain category or subcategory before venturing out? Or were you more bold, jumping right into questions on the homepage? i didnt know there was unspoken rules of AB etiquette. Either way, i put my 17 cents in. and it was worth every penny.

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What is the worst thing you can say when you get caught cheating? "ha, you failed. I was testing you. obviously you DONT trust me. I win."

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If you put your left foot in, you put your left foot out and shake it all about, does that mean you have restless leg syndrome? or a very kinky girlfriend who loves your hokey pokey

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There is only you and one other very attractive stranger in an elevator. You are going to fart, you cant stop it. Do you do a loud ripper that doesn't smell or a silent stinky? heres what you do : 1.) turn around and face backwards in the elevator. 2.) stare straight ahead, but notice the person getting fidgetty and nervous at the awkwardness. 3.) let it loose. the cross brain waves from the confusion on why you are standing backward in an elevator with eliminate the fact that you just ripped ass quite rudely in public. if not, just know that they feel more...

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My bf of 11.5 mths. always 'jokes' that "sex stops after marriage, so why get married" I don't know how to interpret his real feelings behind this, but I do know that it hurts my feelings. How would you feel? What do you think he means? What do I do/say? you should probably wait it out for another 3.762 months, just to be sure that you are positive that this is your soulmate, ya know.

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WHAT do you call a person who pretends to be an intellectual but is not? religious?

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Do you like eighties music? dude, i love all music, and that includes but is not limited to just 80s. as for 80's, everything from Jackson Browne to Aerosmith, Marvin Gaye to Hall and Oates, or even Cyndi Lauper to John 'cougar' Mellencamp. Even today, there is just somethin sexy about corny shades, crimped hair, and turquoise eye shadow. ouch. that was a total eclipse of my heart...

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What did momma always say? eat your vegetables. they'll make your sticker peck out. OR F*ck em if they cant take a joke

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Its the grand opening of the AB restaurant, what's on the menu? math'ed potatoes 'istartedmy' ragfish cheating CHICKens homework hotdogs fresh from the Bush salad and i nice cold flamer Dr. Pepper

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What band T-shirts do you own? I have one from Jason Mraz and Liz Phair. page and plant reunioun tour, janes addiction, warp tour 2000, 2001, and 2002, and a yellow submarine Beatles t-shirt. I ALMOST bought an original R.E.M tshirt on ebay the other day, but the bidding got WAY tooo hi for my liking

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Any reliable online sources on why Satan or Lucifer was cast down? there wasnt room for the both of us...mwuahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

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I keep getting bright lights in my vision,what could this be??is it dangerous? yeah, um, you see those broken yellow lines on your left, your not supposed to cross em. and playin on the internet is very dangerous while operating a moving vehicle. ask Princess Di's driver...

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Wife of an indian prince better than being the husband of an indian prince, i suppose.

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Who do you blame for all the bad things that happen? I blame ajax and jack frost. I blame the easter bunny. I blame everyone who has ever blamed someone else. i blame hitler, and Mother Nature. i blame the printing press, and mass production of bogus articles. i blame everyone who cant get a job. i blame the french, would you like fries with that? i blame aunt jemima's syrup. i blame jared for walking his fat ass to subway and getting 6 inch...

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Why do girls wear makeup? dont you think it makes them look fake? some of them do it to give off the "i wanna slice my wrist for attention" vibe, others, to have the 'my face is faulty, but you wont see that til morning' look, and still others, to present the 'im not really as cheap as my face makes me appear' look (i call this the peggy bundy) Mainly, it is to give off attitude, or highlight an attribute of the face. i dont...

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What color are your eyes? What color eyes are you attracted to? (Curious to see how true the saying 'opposites attract' is) my eyes are light blue, and i like any good DSE'S...

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How are you going to have a good relationship with GOD? open the door for him, look into his eyes when i talk to him, act interested when he talks to me, dont whip it out on the first date, dont rush, buy him cool trinkets, remember his fathers, mothers, and dogs birthdays, do what he wants to do on valentines day, DONT WHIP IT OUT ON VALENTINES DAY, and dont sleep with his sister. i think that covers it.

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How would you finish this line? I have a __________________. an agenda to not think in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations! There are no peoples! There are no Russians. There are no Arabs! There are no third worlds! There is no West! There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multi-variate, multi-national dominion of dollars! petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars!, Reichmarks,...

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What makes your eyes change colors? I have a very odd eyecolor. a very light blue, and i have been told sometimes they look 'smoke' gray. probably has to do with the light tho..

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Do you think you have to tell your FWB if you're sleeping with someone else? For instance, you've had this FWB for a while, you meet someone, things happen, you don't know if it'll go anywhere. Do you think your FWB has a right to know about it? maybe your FWB has HPV. maybe you should ask GWB, he has all the answers, ETC. he normally relies on MTV, which casts news from CNN, and forgets about the times of LBJ and NASA. but hey, maybe you can catch it next week, TBD. if you wanna watch, RSVP, and maybe we can invite JT, and the rest of the BSB, for some PBJ's and a sing song on PBS, or depending on where you are, the BBC. it all...

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What should i get my boyfriend for his birthday? he's turning 17. a new girlfriend...wait...thats next week. um, how about scrabble. 17 yo's like scrabble. maybe it will keep him busy long enough for you to still be around next week.

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How do you really feel about marriage? maybe in the next life...this one is too good! got married at 21, divorced at 23, now im 25, single, stackin my bank, lovin life, and travelling the world carefree. i dont think i was meant to settle down. good luck to those who do!

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In what century was the War of 1812 fought? Definately the 19th. And it involved a great U.S. Frigate called the ESSEX, in which i am aboard a much, much newer version. at that time it was commanded by Capt. David Porter. and once passing a mysterious isle then known as Encantadas (enchanted isle), a sailor saw a light, and thought of a group of castaways, or maybe someone shipwrecked. but capt porter, in his wisdom of these humid...

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Women's day, children's day, but when is men's day? we own the rest of the days, except for the 4th of july, which we share with the other american citizens, and christmas. but thats really our day too, and well, come to think about it, womens day belongs to us, well because they borrowed a rib. we own their ribs, therefore we own their bodies, exo facto, we own womens day. and childrens day, well, thats a given. thats ours too. im just...

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What is the worst kind of relationship you've been in before? yeah, i got married. totally the worse thing for a relationship. at least for my free spirited mindset. then she wouldnt let me play with my toys in the bathtub, and i thought that was so immature of her, then we got divorced, and had the greatest divorce sex ever, and now we are best friends. or the time i dated an indian who claimed to be the best drinker, but was a light weight,...

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To become an anorexic just add me and i will tell you wish.on.a.star.4.me@hotmail.com add you? add you to what? you wouldnt even effect the sum of the masses. and try to add a cheeseburger to your diet, or maybe a hotdog with extra mayo. freak. and oh yeah, avoid fellatio, id feel sorry for the poor guy who might get it eaten off in a fit of starvation. peace up, rhetoric anorexia down...for life!

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(theater research) What drives someone to murder? a hot pink cadillac el dorado, with whale skin hubcaps, and all leather cow interior, and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights

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I caught my boyfriend looking at porn.. well i found it under the history on my google desktop and he swore on my life and on our relationship that he hadn't.until i showed it to him.. is this normal.. is this right? we've been dating for 4 years would you rather him pork the babysitter? he lied because he felt like he had too, due to pressure from you or your porn conversation approach. Lay off him, and help him find some even better things to look at...with you.

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Should we ban nail guns and cross beams out of consideration to Christians? i dont think charlton heston would like that. and the NRA certainly wouldnt let this happen! not only that, its my 2nd amendment right to bear arms, even if it is a nail gun. and cross beams, cathedral roofs are built with cross beams, so the roofs might collapse and kill the 'little house on the prayer', and the next thing you know a priest will start touching your little kids...

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Have you ever asked a question in AB that is completely ignored by Answerbaggers? all the time. it was well deserved, and appreciated. factually, you only get alot of answers if its a VERY controversial question, or a very generic question that hasnt been thought of yet. now, i strategically place my questions, they are like my rooks, as they are preordained to draw attention at the right time...

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Is Obama sounds like Kennedy? no. obama is a muslim name kennedy is a irish/scottish nothing the same...ever.

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Are you: (1) in love, (2) love someone, (3) don't know, (4) looking, (5) not looking? 1) yes 2) yes 3) yes 4) definately 5) never

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When you were a kid did you ride a tricycle? i started on three wheels, went to 2, then got good on just one, now im ridin on 4...strange how that happens. i think there is some kind of pattern to life explained here.

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What place would you never want to get lost in? Why? the matrix....oooh. save me neo! i dont even know how much clothes cost there.

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What is your favorite "nasty" clean word? the shocker

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How did someone as nice as you end up marrying someone so unpleasant? it was the accent. now i hate the french!

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You really paid someone for that haircut? every week. got that medium reg, fresh for every monday!

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Besides your arms.. What do you wash first in the shower? genitals ------------ hair-------------genitals----------rest of body-------------genitals----------------face------------------------------get out, spash water everywhere, and draw something on the mirror, usually boobs, or a funny word, like 'flumpy'. never in a different order.

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Does anyone know the directions to Heaven? hang a left at the big oak tree, there will be a flashy sign that says 'exit now', if you hit the train tracks, you've gone to far.

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Is revenge as sweet as the thought of it is? revenge is a dish best served cold...flavor doesnt matter...

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Do you hate it when peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth? my dog doesnt like it. i dont eat it.

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A man told his friend that he has three children but he wouldn't tell his friend their ages. He only told his friend two possible age choices: 1, 6, 6, OR 2, 2, 9. He also said that his oldest son wears a red hat. What are the ages of his children? 2 - 2 - 9 thats easy, the oldest wears a red hat, which implies his youngest 2 are twins.

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Isn't it incorrect to mistakenly call aircraft that are jets "fighter jets" when by all of those who fly and build these magnificent aircraft refer to them as "Jet Fighters?" it gets referred to both ways. i just say the type of jet. not the generalization of fighter jet. many jets have different purposes. mine specifically, the av8b Harrier is to provide close ground support. the 18's (or hornets) are more for air to air, but can support ground troops. so all jets are different. fighter jet is too general for me to say, being a technician for many years

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Why do u think majority of the popluation is turned off by church? what? you mean church doesnt give everyone a raging boner? i must be unique.

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Why aren't in bed and sleeping YET? because its 5:22 pm, and im at work.

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What can i do to overcome my loneliness?:( just dont be lonely anymore. smile, and live life in a fulfilling manner. selflessness is key...

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Who have you given your heart to? left ventrical, that goes to gomez addams, the rest of it, i think i will auction. bidding starts at doggy style.

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What is your favorite flavor of freezie pop? green...thats not a flavor, but then again, it is. purple doesnt even taste like grape. so purple is the flavor, exo facto, so is green. GREEN, final answer.

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What do you think of Lesbians? they are all secret ninja warriors, and i wanna play!!

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How can a person that is very book smart be stupid as hell when it comes to common knowledge of life common sense isnt really that common, ive noticed.

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Do YOU have a naughty drawer in your home? -WHAT'S IN IT? an OLD pipe, (from my pre-Marine days), several pair of different sized womens undergarments i have collected over the years, a couple pictures of the past good times, 1 swedish made penis enlarger pump (that kinda things not my bag, baby) and a frilly laced cravat, and my divorce decree.

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What's the worst thing a person can say to someone who has just lost a loved one? is he buried face down? i need a place to park my bike...

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What do you complain about the most? Don't say you NEVER complain, because we all do it sometimes. So fess up! work, 'smoke and mirrors' type people, and dog and pony shows

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Do you think you are cool? Be honest. i am so cool. i have to much rock for one hand! and i can do magic! yeah!! im coooooooooooooooooooooool!!

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Am I the only person who hates babies? their meat is so tender, and hard to grill, unless you grind it and add an egg and some bread crumbs...

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What is your philosophy of life? you cant rollerskate with a herd of buffalo.

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I say "Shalom Shabat-Sabbath" to you, and you? Attention all K-Mart shoppers, there are Jews in Aisle 12. Shabbat Shalom, mother f*ckers.

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Would you like to join me in wishing all our Jewish friends a happy and Kosher Pesach (Passover)? I... kindly have to decline... for I already stuffed myself full of milk and meat products at a previous lunch engagement. Very unkosher of me, i know.

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Did you cancel HBO because of Bill Maher's comments about the Pope and the Catholic Church? dont have HBO, but i think this is so genious, i had to post it in an answer!!! That's right. The Pope is coming to America this week, and, ladies, he's single! Now, I know what you're thinking: "Bill, you can't be saying that the Catholic Church is no better than this creepy Texas cult! For one thing, altar boys can't even get pregnant." But, really, what...

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When the military sends a soldier to Iraq, Why is it called a tour? it is your tour of duty...i dont really know. Dont worry, darlin, there is plenty of Marines over there to watch his back...j/k!

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I suck at talking to girls. any tips? dude the worse part is talking. we really dont care where they went to school, their favorite color, how much sugar it takes to bake cookies, and who won the last american idol. but you just got to grit and bare it, look interested by raising your eyebrows, nod, try not to talk about yourself unless provoked, and once you get that foot in the door, the rest of the house comes easy. know what i...

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What is the difference between horns and antlers? horns do not shed as they grow. antlers do.

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Can you find me the perfect song? i just broke up with my boyfriend. he is a lying cheating jerk. put the lyrics on here as an answer.... oh i love country but any will work. i'm tired of the pain caused from his lies and cheating.. This is a good one. it won me a chick back one time when i played it for her. i really like it, hope you do to...its by plus 44, its called baby come on (the acoustic version is better) She's a pretty girl She's always falling down And I think I just fell in love with her But she will never remember, remember And I can always find her At the bottom of a plastic cup ...

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I cheated. My girlfriend broke up with me. It was stupid. I'm a jerk. I need her. What can I do? stop getting caught!!

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Is there a cure for dyslexia? osme ppleoe asy htat erthe si, ubt it do'sent mtater bucease ouy cna sitll raed tihs, rgiht?

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"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" - good or bad advice? i live by that. always have, and now, im at the enemies front door!

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How Do You Give A Lap Dancee? Do You Start Off With ANything In Particular? a lap dance is so much better if the stripper is crying. so step one, think about something sad and cry. i mean really cry. let it all out. step two, move your hips a little bit, make some loud banging noises with your heels, step three, take the dollars and go buy some baby formula. congratulations, you graduated Austin's stripper academy.

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Ladies, how do you think i look on a scale of 1-10 why did they downrate you?? i tried to bring you back up, did my best. IF i was a chick, id be a high 1, maybe a low 2 hahahahahahahah

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Why do people still fall for internet scams? same reason guys pee standing up. its just dumb. lol!!

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I got some spot appearing on my thigh and it's dark and smooth and it's spreading, is it skin cancer? either that, or you spilled your Guiness. good luck.

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My girlfriend is a jerk sometimes, but i love her so much and i know she does to. Shes always busy and forgetting we had plans or to call me back sometimes. Its starting to get on my nerves and I want to deal with this with complicating anything. Help! it doesnt get complicated yet. wait until you find out your girlfriend has sucked 27 d*cks before you, and she claims that she is 'sexual vegetable' because she lost her virginity to a dead guy. thats when you can say that she is a jerk, or a jerk off, or, my favorite, spouse.

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I have tried for the last week to get along with my bf's dog that just got back after 2 years, but he is terrible! He has no manners at all: whines constantly, digs up the yard, won't listen to anything! What do I do? I didn't want him & don't like him! get rid of the boyfriend, and date the dog. that was an easy fix huh?

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My girlfriend does some really immature things sometimes, like changing her myspace picture to one of Just her instead of us to get at me when shes mad. I want her to talk to me if somethings up, usually we have good communication I dont get it. Advice? get a new girlfriend, because the whole world knows that your default myspace picture is one of the four pillars to having a great relationship. the other three are speed dial ranking, amount of space you take in her closet, and how well her mother has aged. without these things, you cannot build a foundation to a fairy tale ending. its just the facts man, its a science. everybody knows this,...

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Looking back on the past week or so... What life lesson have you learned recently? that there are 4 types of people around here. d*cks, *ssh*les, P&ssies, and ...Shockers. I am a shocker. heres why, d&cks like to screw the p*ssies, and assholes are right next to p*ssies, so the d*cks also like to screw assholes. but sometimes, the d*cks get so wrapped up in screwin everybody, that they end up gettin sh*t all over the p*ssies and the assholes. i on the other hand, can...

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How does one respond to "I guess your boyfriend didn't have the testicular fortitude to ask you to marry him, huh?" when they find out I was the one to ask my boyfriend to marry ME? you say, yep, and he took my last name too! just go along with the clowns. that always works

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If your b/f grabbed "it" and said "I'm the boss, because you don't have one!!!"....What would you do? it is more about relaxing i guess. but out here they got the little nemos that you can swim with, its neat-o. oh yeah, i dropped the 'neat-o' bomb!

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WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO HAVE PROPER CONTROL ON ONE'S TONGUE..? you know thats the strongest muscle in your body, work it out on the lat pull down machine.

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Let's play Jeopardy!!! (the funny version) "and the answer is"__________? final jeapordy : oh just right down a number, any number, and you win. it could be a one, a two, a three, or maybe even a four. any number and you win. and we will go to french stewart, who is grinning like an idiot...

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Let's play Jeopardy!!! (the funny version) "and the answer is"__________? this is the sound a doggy makes

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Is it possible to be a shy bad girl? those are my favorites...closet freaks, even in the sheets

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How bored are we? I mean, come on people. where are we going? im low on gas, and you need a jacket...

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How Far can a WHITE POLAR BEAR run into the Woods? til it finds a good place to poop

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What is the grand unified AB question, the one question encompassing all other questions? Who cares?

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Do you think you're attractive? oh its not a question on if i THINK so, i know so!

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What are the chances of hooking up and having a one night stand with a women in another country? very very good, if you aren't shy. they are (most places) and wont approach you, for fear of indifference. but like my pal moose, i have been to ireland, kuwait, iraq, afghanistan, australia, phillippines, guam, thailand, and im about to head to hong kong. oh, and been to singapore and a few of the marshall islands. Getting laid is easy in most of the above, not so much the middle east,...

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Why do I love Asian girls so much? im on my second western pacific tour, and i love them too. especially phillipinas. and japanese, but they are harder for a white Marine to get his "foot in the door". either way, i still havent found my dreamgirl, a naturally blonde asian. maybe i never will...

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What would you do for a dollar? make you holler!!

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Who's your favorite comedian and what his/her best joke? Woody Allen "I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

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What song have you gotten stuck in your head the most often/longest? lately it been "baby come on" by Plus 44 overall in my life, i always catch myself whistling "patience" by gunz n roses. its just catchy.

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What does the appearance of a blue or pink color in a thioglycolate tube mean? let me check my secret decoder ring.....and it says "you are an idiot"

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What are the secrets to making a good sausage? be nice to him, cook him meals, rub his feet, and dont talk...ever. im kidding. i can make a good boudin. whatcha know about that??

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I think my gf is preg. she is showing all of the signs(most of them). we both r in hs, shes a sr and im a jr. parents dont know. and i came in her by accident last nite(condom ripped and i didnt feel it). is one been a day after it happened. what to do? Head for the hills!!

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Can I hug and kiss my gf when she does not like it, especially when I need to do so? that is borderline rape, and seek professional help, psycho.

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Do you have a stubborn personality? im not tellin you. ill never tell you. ever.

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Do you think it's alright for african americans to use the N word to reffer to one another? How do you feel about african americans calling white people crackers?Is Obama a "not an african american" AKA Kenyan American,is Obama's backness fake as a flake? they say "nigga" and more in more it is accepted. and ill file it away in the same category as homosexuality in my brain housing group called, "observed ignorance"

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Should a group of 30 middle school kids get in trouble for watching 2 other students fight for 3 minutes before a teacher broke them up? No one was hurt, but ALL could get suspended... hell no. let kids be kids. they are going to fight, and others want to see it. you cant blame them for watching.

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Who do you want to be president of the United States? Denis Leary! definately!

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What is the funniest, most hilarious joke you've ever heard? two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other muffin and says "boy its hot in here" the other muffin says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN" OR this mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. the bartender says "sorry mushroom, we dont serve your kind here" the mushroom says "why not, im a fungi" (fun guy)

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So I have a DR troll now. A few -3's in a row. Should I just give up on AB now because some lower level troll is mining my answers? dont sweat the small stuff. as long as we have the pleasure of reading your thoughts, you'll be just fine.

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Does your ego ever cause you problems? no, but some times i burn my eggo. my toaster hates me.

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Do you take your job seriously? on friday? mildly... However, i have the life of others in my hands daily, and one hell of a country to defend. so, seriously, how serious can i be. (didnt think i was gonna say that, did ya?) out here, you cant take nothin to heart.

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How would I know that you didn't like me? you wouldnt.

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Did you know nuts are addictive? says who?? the nutty professor...

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If a girl is 13 going on 14 and a lil chubby and strong and she gets pregnant what are the chances that she could die during pregnancy very high chance. 13 is a dangerous age to get pregnant, you might have survived at 14, but 13, your doomed. its inevitable, but you can save yourself. do lots of hip exercises, or you will die.

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Is sushi good or does it require an acquired taste? sushi is delicious, and i have always liked it. make sure its fresh, and prepared properly, which means, if its cheap, its probably not worth eating.

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I accidently took a percoset instead of tyelnol. I'm Pregnant. Will the baby be ok? oh no!! what have you done!! there is no chance of survival, for you, or the baby. call the coroner.

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I am 15 and i haven't had a boyfriend all year. how should i act to get a boyfriend easy

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Guys, if you were offered a flat 60" plasma screen, for 6 months abstinence from sex, would you do it? do i get the tv first?? in that case, it would be a true plasma screen...

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Have you ever had an answer that was regularly being downrated over a large amount of time? Like, every month or so you get a new negative rating on it? all the time. heres my fav. hit it up people!!! downrate away, at least it was fun for me!!http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2699762 lets go for a record today!

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What do you believe the reasons are for why some people are so angry with God? who? and why would i be mad at him?

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Honest answers only. If you were at a football game and the ball accidently hit a cheerleader in the face really hard, would you laugh? i would also point, and barrel over with laughter

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What's the point of a female orgasm? it makes them think we actually care, when we really...dont? muwahahahahahahahahaha

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What kind of gold is at the end of your rainbow? gold? rainbow? Ill believe that when me shite turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet

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Whoi is better marines or army? are you asking which is better to enlist to?? or better all-around? you are gonna get alot of biased opinions... Read about Korea, the frozen Chosin, when the army wanted to retreat, and the marines came in, flanked on all sides, and saved our fighting brethren. Later on, MGen. Frank E. Lowe of the U.S. Army said, "The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of Marines....

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Is Love Chance? On a long enough timeline, the affection rate for everyone drops to zero. its just science. dont shoot the messenger.

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If I say Maestro who comes to your mind first? huh

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Why mens have 1 less rib bone in our body than womans? because they are forever in debt!! j/k

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3 accomplishments in your life must be printed on your tombstone...what 3 do you choose? 1)One shot with one kill 2)Ready to die 3)But never will...

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Would you make a good soldier? Absolutely not. I am a United States Marine.

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How will we know when all the questions have been asked? on here, they will superimpose an internet explosion, and in cursive across the screen will say 'the end' with a button to that says 'restart'. At this point, and at this point only, you should kiss your sister in law and wonder why its wrong, be 13 and get pregnant, find the answer to pythagoreoms theory, discuss the 'worst' president, and base your entire life on...

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What is your height? 70 inches. soaken wet.

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What is the best part of forplay? that she actually thinks i care!! Just kidding!! ummmm, i'd have to say, the selflessness.

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Do you make weird faces at yourself in the mirror when nobody's around? I do all the time! :) no, but i flex, and draw boobs on the mirror.

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When Hillary gets elected will men need to start a masculine movement? hahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahhahahhaha!!!!! What do we really have to revolt against, or make a movement too, (besides our bowels)?? a pants-suit wearing female president, who is still in so much limbo with her own political party she has a hard time distinguishing her head from her anus?? Men will never have to make a movement, and here is why...WE ARE MEN!! this is...

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Ladies in the USA! Would you care if you found out your new boyfriend was uncircumcised? "i smell something stinky" "could you please pass the jelly"

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My little sister wants a "sad book" for her birthday. What would you say the "saddest" books are for 11-13 year olds? "Where the Red Fern Grows" first book i ever cried about. i was 9. Recently, i read "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett, and bawled like a little baby! thats right, i had a 17 year 'no-cry' streak. not bad uhhh??

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What is it about love that you love? to love is to suffer. to avoid suffering one must not love. then, one suffers from not loving. therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. to be happy is to love. to be happy then is to suffer. but suffering makes one unhappy. So, what i love about love is that to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

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I want to paint my cat purple...what kind of paint should I use? psilocybin mushrooms, just for the visual, that works. Leave the cat alone!!

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So ten, third grade students were caught trying to kill their teacher. They had a plan to cover the windows, and they brought in weapons. What are your thoughts on this? they are horrible planners! horrible i tell you. i guess it worked out for the teacher. hopefully one day she dont get run over by a school bus full of 3rd graders...irony???

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JustWonder's Million Dollar Daily Dilemma: Would you give up pet ownership forever for $1 million? hellz yeah, thats an easy question. the real million dollar question is there somewhere. i got asked it the other day. im not gonna say it on here, but my answer was yes, it just took alot of self debating, and self analyzing before i came up with my answer... but as for pets, see ya later fido, ill be at the Ritz!

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Can you show another player your poker hand after he has fold. a friendly game, sure. at a casino, or any other game of high monetary involvement, NO!! show one, you must show all. and dont forget, show both cards to win.

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What are some misconceptions of massage therapists? In japan, you can get a massage therapist to do ALMOST anything. This is a fact, though i've never partaken in such behavior ;)

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Why do men go after women that don't want them? i've never been in this situation...wierd....

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Which is hotter: tan lines or no tan lines? im not attracted to dudes, but they shouldnt have tan lines, at least not since David Hasselhoff's first season on Baywatch... On women, it depends on natural skin tone. A beautifully fair skinned lady should have at a minimum tan lines on the breast(down boy!)...something just sexy about milky white breasts, probably a sub-conscience affection for a mother child relation, if i had to...

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Would you trade your baby for 1 million dollars? oooooooh, thats a tough one.... IM KIDDING!! hellz no!!

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Who was the worst US President ever? wow! all these people talking bad about Bush...simply stunning. Yet, the same thing was said about Ronald Reagan, and now, everyone is reeping the benefits of his legacy. All im saying is, before you blame Bush, study your American History, and realize the world always needs a scapegoat!

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What is the biggest neighborhood involvement/commitment you are currently engaged in? My neighbors are all my co-workers. My co-workers save my life, as i do theirs. The funny thing is, i work for the neighborhood, with the neighborhood, to protect the suburban areas, counties, states, parishes, and territories related to my neighbors. And currently, we are somewhere in the Pacific, waiting for the oppurtunity to be involved in some 'neighborly' activities.

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Have you ever broke up with a girl then got back together with her? did it work the second time around? To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're taking notes,...

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Where have all the anvils gone? i have one! im a metal worker! all metal workers have anvils!!!!

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Why do SOME men prey on emotionally weak women? ... I don't get it? vulnerability. its like the tiger, is he gonna go after the healthy gazelle, or the one with the broken leg? GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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How many minutes do you brush your teeth? 2190 minutes/year...based on 3 minutes per session, 6 minutes per day, and completely naked.

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Seen any good movies latley? "things we lost in the fire" great flick and "the NIN9S" pretty crazy, but highly entertaining

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I'm going to Taco Bell, would you like me to pick you something up? yeah, some funyuns, a mountain dew, pizza, cheetohs, and oh yeah, some of the stuff we used to eat back in the day...what was it called? you know...

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This site should be called AnswerFag, because it's filled with fags. I swear, everybody gets offended too easy and they argue way too much. So don't make it AnswerFag, make it AnswerBag. What is "Grow up"? for 500, Alex

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So tell me...what's so great about your life? I'm stuck in the suck, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off, the steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-assed fu** on the planet, I smell like shoe polish, my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fu**ing a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six johnsons since i have been deployed. And i wake up everyday, clap my hands and say "this is...

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Are your ear lobes sensitive to pleasure? yeah, the funny thing is, is that they are located on my...nevermind.

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Ok I have this bad head ache that won't go away.....any suggestions? hit your finger with a hammer

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You decide to write an autiobiography. What will be the title of your book? two mice in a wool sock

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What comes to mind when you think of the word "army"? Arent Real Marines Yet

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Does it ever get tiring knowing everything? ;) What do we think? What do we know? What can we prove? I mean, the only thing we know for sure is that we don't know anything, which also happens to be the only thing we can prove. And Im NEVER tired!!

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Can you sing well? Do you like to sing in the shower? yep, and i pee, and make shampoo mohawks, and fart and laugh at how loud it resonates...then i draw boobs on the mirror while whistling an old Pearl Jam tune

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Why do people like you? is that so? well i guess its because im not my job, im not my car, im not my money thats in the bank, im not the contents of my wallet. i am the all singing, all dancing crap of the world, and that is attractive. lol

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How would you spy on someone 2000 miles away from you? google earth...duh

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Is there anyone who is pooblemless? dead people

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Does Christianity and Democracy go in harmony? no, God used to live in the White House. i went there once, and the sign on the door said "God doesn't live here anymore. He's grown weary of your superficial faith. He's turned a deaf ear to your lip service prayers." Wierd huh

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What is the best quote from the movie Clerks? i forgot one... try not to suck any d!ck on the way to the parking lot!!

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What is the best quote from the movie Clerks? There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. - Silent Bob (oh so true) I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off, the steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-assed fu** on the planet, I smell like shoe polish, my ex-girlfriend is...

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STOP. TURN. Take a look around. What do you see? the Master Sergeant.

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Gents, what phrase or code or action do you use to alert another male that his zipper is down? yo bro. you got that air conditioner on, you cant feel that breeze??

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Whats your favorite day of the week to be an answerbag member? monday through friday...only at work

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Do tatoo's bleed? no, but your skin will

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What is the the biggest mistake people make when they remarry? not learn the first time

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Think back to something important that someone told you once. What was it? 'I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.'

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Do you date for fun, to get to know people, to find that special someone, or to prepare yourself for the one you hope you will meet some day? im with moose. i dont need anymore French friends, wives, or mistresses. and 'dating' loses its fun after the first night! (you know im playin ladies)i just travel the world, and once i leave one place, i leave that all behind. its kinda like vegas, except im out saving the world, ya know, one little brown girl at a time.

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Can you catch me off guard by saying something completely random? Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. Dont rollerskate with a herd of buffalo. I learned this when I was captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I...

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What is an embaressing story of yours? oooh...little league baseball, i was like 10. i totally sharted, and i was the catcher, and the umpire called me out on it, so i ran off the field, total embarrassment...

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What is the sexyest thing you think looks good on your boyfriend? you! except i dont have bfs!

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How often do you clean the lint out of your belly button? i got this whole collection of belly button lint. its quite fabulous. and i have kept this t shirt for a really long time, and i wonder, will it ever get a hole around my belly button?? just thought of a question...hahahahah

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Do you remember the last time your life was easy? it aint easy being cheezy! but life is as easy as YOU make it. most stress is self induced, so just say "clown shoes" and move on in this coma called life.

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Do you think people are really "born gay"? I just don't see how it makes sense! Not to knock em' but it kinda sounds like something that has to develop... When I was 4 I didn't like girls either, doesn't make me born gay and turned straight does it? yes, thank Boy George for your reformation!! i knew that chameleon song served a purpose in life!! wassup dawg!!!!

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Why do women lie about how many sex partners they've had?whats so scary bout tellin the truth? its like age. for women, double the number they tell you. for guys, cut it in half.

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Can you give me some ideas of some unique, pretty names for a baby girl? Some name you don't hear everyday... I like Belle (beautiful in french)my first daughters name or Penny Lane (that will be my next daughters name) or Jolie

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Can you use a movie title to describe your job? Jarhead

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Why are people so obsessed with drinking alcohol? why not?? its just so t-a-s-t-y

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Would you ever go on a trip with a total stranger? Like if you both love to travel but don't have someone to go with. Would you? definately, i am impulsive by nature, and wouldn't think twice about it.

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What makes you sweat? this japan humidity...i stay gettin swamp assed

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Are humans by nature religious? religion was invented by man. thats to say we are naturally intuitive. not religious.

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What is the worst dog name that you have ever heard? wife... had a blue heeler few years back, named wife. best bitch i ever had.

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What is a slang name for a beer belly? fuel tank for a sex machine!!!

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Has anyone ever had sex underwater? oh for sure. and hot tubs...but it kinda sucks. and this one rich chick in florida called me and was like "you gave me an STD!! i went to the doctor and he said i have a UTI" an urinary tract infection!! i was like "hello retard, that is NOT an STD, and its from your hot tub" she didnt believe me!! she called me a couple weeks later apologizing. dumb broad.

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Is sex better with a male/female condom? condoms are for sailors.

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Would you ever cheat a casino? would i?? or have I?? and no its not easy

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My husband and I are having an argument about which kind of battery is best for a boat. He says any car battery will do and I say a marine battery. Which is best and why? Thank you. optima gel cells are best...usually the redcaps. they are not so cheap, but they have as much cranking amps as any marine battery, but any regular battery will not last very long in a boat.

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I think I love an 11 year old, She understands me so much better than everyone else i know and she can really relate to me,she seems so mature for her age, She talks about her love life alot she seems really lonely, Im 15, Is it wrong for me to love her? okay dude. tomorrow we can learn the abc's.

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If Barack & Hillary teamed up & Barack was Pres. & Hillary was VP, Would that be a good combo? Barack - "hillary, your a doo doo head" Hillary - "no, your the doo doo head, dummy" Barack - "oh yeah, well you smell like a big doodoo head dummy" Hillary - "well you smell like a big dummy head doodoo licker" Barack - "im telling congress"

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If a man sees boobs of 10 different woman in a day, can he be freed of thinking about sex? ill be the first to experiment this...

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Whats the worst thing that could happen to you at the train station? oooh... have a JDAM land on my head..."take that you Mooj motha*&^%ers!!"

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What do you think about men? glad im not that guy

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I get to plan a date for Friday night. What should we do? (We live in MI, and it's supposed to thunderstorm that day.) wear all white clothes, and go play in the rain. its actually very liberating!

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What is the biggest word you know? Microsoft word

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New music vs. old school? who wins? its a toss up... What kind of music?? Rap...old school. country (gags) old school, classic rock is, well, classic. (no question there) reggae....old school, i think we have a trend... but i will tell you what, if Ronnie James Dio was to fight David Williams (RIP...Drowning Pool L.S) he probably would've had his ass handed to him. janis joplin vs amy lee, watch out amy, dont wanna fuck...

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Anyone else on this thing love Socrateswasfat's style? I get a kick outta it! I do i do!!! Thanks guys!! im a little ruthless at times, a little egotistical, a little comedic, but alot of fun!!

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It is 2:30 am eastern standard time... Is it time for bed? Or should we keep feeding this addiction we now have... AB? its 1530 here in japan, and i am nowhere near a bed

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What finger would you be? take test to find out http://www.blogthings.com/whatfingerareyouquiz/ im a combination. i took the test three times, and got different results. I am a combination of the ring finger, the middle finger, and the pinky. otherwise known as THE SHOCKER! it just told me to keep my fingernails closely cropped, out of politeness...

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Obama sickens me,mccain sickens me.anyone else sick of these two getting a free ride?anyone else disenchanted with these two dim bulbs? your dad didnt hug you enough? you dont like men?

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Since I know none of you, what is your perfect one night stand? I prefer waking up and saying "You're still here" .... Sounds like an asshole move (and it is) but the look on her face makes me not even feel guilty aww man, i cant even believe they downrated you. I once took home this american indian chick, a sioux indian i think. anyway, she bragged about being the best drinker this side of the mississippi, and i called her out. she was annoying as all hell, but i dealt with it. talkin about how indians are the best and this that and the other. Well, she had this lil braid on the back of her head she had...

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In your opinion why did the Warren Commission not establish a panel to deal with who killed President Kennedy? They would have said the real reason. And that is the 1947 Pittsburgh Pirates killed JFK! They tried to draft ole' Fidel from Cuba, hot outta Havana high, with crazy speed and a Wicked curve ball! at the last minute, they all rescinded their offers. Imagine if they hadnt, No bay of Pigs, no vietnam, no JFK assasination. We would all be sippin Mai Tai's and smokin big fat cuban cigars...

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Are you hobbies expensive ones? scuba - can be expensive shooting - also can be expensive sex - USUALLY free

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Is your hometown famous for anything? Nolan Ryan and ME!

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What are 45's? pistols...revolvers... invented by Browning, mass produced by colt, and used as a military hand gun in WWI and II

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Have you ever gone out with a gold digger? like in 1949 san francisco?? like literally?? no. Like a nose picker?? i think i dated one of those one time like a girl after my money?? almost all of em!!

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Would you agree...Britney spears is hot only when toned and cute faced when heavier? i like her fat, blackeyed, and vulnerable. damn thats sexy!!

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What does it mean to have a fast heart rate, weak knees and like a dizzyness kinda thing? quick, grab a towel before you make a mess!!

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A Venezuelan TV channel yanked "The Simpsons" because it may be inappropriate for children and replaced it with "Baywatch Hawaii." In your opinion, which (if either) is more suitable for children? The simpsons comedy is too advanced for people to young to understand...thats the point. and david hasselhoff is not good for ANYONE!!

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If you took pictures(explicit ones) of yourself when you were say 16, but are an adult now... Is it illegal to give or sell your own pictures to others? what does the bidding start at?? IM JUST KIDDING!!!

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What can only you do? pick my nose!

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What makes you think god is real? for most its faith, for me...I AM GOD!!

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Only in America can you _______? feel great about making fun of the french, while eating french fries from mcdonalds in the old fashioned polluting styrofoam containers that you bought on credit, while driving a gas guzzling cadillac, wearing the flag as a cape, be totally worry free about your car because of your super duper insurance policy, smoking a cuban, and reading a tantalizing news article about war, love, and peace...

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say, "California"? being on the run, driving in the sun, lookin out for number one, california here we come, right back where we started from...-phantom planet

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Finish this sentence: I wish I was... mickey mouse jackhammering osama in the doodoo hole with a lawn dart while watching hello kitty give birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on santa clauses tummy.

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If a man is alone in the woods, is he still wrong? men are wrong just like trees fall down in the woods and make noises, even if noone is around to hear it. and you CANNOT rollerskate with a herd of buffalo. its just the facts...

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What level of eating and chewing noises can you personally tolerate? I hate hate hate hearing people eat...smackers, slurpers, ugh!! disgusting...

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What do you think of people who flirt? i think they are great! everybody wants to get theirs, ya know. some just have to work harder than others...

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Who do you think is the dumbest person to have ever lived? dummy dumberson

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HI............................. questions my friend...they start with "who, what, when , why, how, did, do does, will, can, etc...they usually have a subject and a predicate, they inquire about a position in life, love or liberty, i think you get it... but HELLO

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What is your favorite drink, you have daily? Water...

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I need to know, how do i know when i'm ready for sex? I'm a guy but im only 16 and my girlfriend isn't ready for it yet, but i just want to know if i am? How would i know? When you can finally talk her into it!!!

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I just saw the movie, "Stop Loss," about our troops being re-enlisted against their will for a second duty in Iraq. They called it the "back door draft." What's your opinion on this policy and have you seen the movie? these facts and numbers are a FAR stretch of the truth. However i havent seen the movie or the actual numbers, most first enlistment contracts are for 8 years with only 4 as active, and the other 4 inactive reserves (IR). The critical occupations (MOS) might be at a "low" in terms of numbers, and that person or persons may need to be what you call "stop lossed". There is...

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Ever felt like you've been tossed into the spin cycle of a washing machine? oh yeah...she seemed to love it!!

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Do you think that the legal drinking age should be lowered (18) for military personnel? "If you're old enough to die for your country, you're old enough to have a beer" type of thing! it would NEVER happen, but it should. However over seas, the military drinking age lowers if the age in that country for drinking is nonexistant, or irrelevant due to a SOFA (status of forces agreement) in that country. For instance, the legal drinking age for military in Japan is 20, not 21. and it changes from place to place. However, due to a number of Alcohol related incidents in the...

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When and where was the last time you had to use your ID? its stuck in the computer right now...

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Is big bird a chicken? no no. big bird is a drug dealer. Snufalufagus is addicted to smack, the count is a pimp, and oscar is a homeless bum.

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By age 16, how many partners had you had? at least 4, but maybe 5...all these people make me feel like a man whore!! either that or they are FIBBERS!!!! hmmmm

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How many times have you moved in your life? Houston, TX; Pensacola, FL; Cherry Point, NC; Phoenix, AZ; Yuma, AZ; Al Asad, Iraq; Okinawa, Japan....

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How do you think the world will end? Credit...

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There is a HUGE possum in my garage behind a tool bench. Any suggestions on how I should get it out of there? Go in the garage and pretend to be asleep. beat him at his own game!

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I have the body of a lion and torso of a woman oh yeah, well i have the torso of a man, and the libido of a lion, with the sex drive of a 35 y/o woman!! so there

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If a women says, '' Do you think I look fat in this dress?'' what is the right answer? No matter what I always fail. where did you get that dress? Lane Bryant?

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What is the nearest instruction manual to you right now? flight crew checklist for an AV8B Harrier...the phase 'A' deck

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Let's be honest--does anyone really like raisins? my colon is very grateful...

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How are your neighbours? good, bad or ugly? covetting

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I'm thinking about injecting the coffee into my veins from now on. Whatcha think? shoot it in between your toes. dont wanna leave coffee junky tracks on your arm.

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My girlfriend wants to sleep around before she settles down. If I let her go will she come back to me? no. she wont. so you should hook up with her sister.

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If you had to defend yourself against an aggressive woman, how and where would you attack her? Boobs, croutch, hair? i'd probably boot her right in the baby maker, then knock some teeth out of her whorish mouth, and then tell her she is fat. hahaha

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When deer poop in the woods, do they squint? and they fart too, but only when nobody is around...

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What shoes are you wearing right now? combat boots!!

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Should the New Kids on The Block call themselves The Old Men on the Block when they "try" to make their comeback? "old men on the yacht" sounds better

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Would you exploit an try to ruin a woman where she is vulnerable, when she is in love or emotional? define exploit... and define woman... this is surely the step to hitting rock bottom

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How mean is it to post a photo of someone you *really* dislike on HOTorNOT.com and laugh at the results? Am I a bad person? :( rock on!! do whatever makes you happy, and never feel guilty about laughing at misfortunes of others! Innocently that is...

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Hinky Pinky - New Ruler is a _______ Queen? sheen queen and shack pack?? "sheen" prolly not right...

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Why has society made body hair seem "unattractive" and thus women have to remove it in order to feel sexy. Why don't men get everything waxed/shaved? And why are women secretly pressured to? i am a man, and uh, i get rid of the unwanted hair. Why? because its cleaner, it feels better, and it is in fact sexier. nobody like a pube stuck on the teeth/tongue right? but i dont think it is society pressure that people do this. its just a natural thought of mankind...

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What do you believe, but cannot prove? That out of 294 answers, mine will NEVER make it to # 1

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What do you think of first when I say "northeast of LA"? that you can drink a pint of blood before you get sick.

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What makes a person normal? Most think they are so normal in their normal scurrying lives. well i tell you, my friend, normal is not what it seems. Normal is not your job. Normal is not how much money you have in the bank, or your 3 piece pants suit, or normal is not the car your driving, or the style of your adulteress's panties. We are the all singing, all dancing, all world people, and that, is far far away from...

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How has Anne of Green Gables profoundly effected your life? I found freedom. Losing all hope in my life reading this was freedom.

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Don't you think all men should wear a condom whenever they have vaginal sex? A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night. Then, you throw it away . . . the condom, Im sayin, not the stranger. sometimes they stick around, better than an orgasm, or worse than an STI depending on luck, but a condom, if not married, are for sailors.

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Someone already asked "What do you order from McDonald's?", but I am a fan of In-N-Out. I thought that this question would be more interesting because of the SECRET menu. So what do you order from In-N-Out? a double protein, with animal style fries

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Have you ever tried to be completely honest, then felt that your honesty is what screwed everything up? i dont know. lets see; Earlier, I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke from a pediatric incubator. but that was then, this is now.

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What are some life lessons you think are important to teach your children? Not religion based but just everyday life lessons that one should educate their children with. (for example 'there's a consequence to everything whether it be good or bad). We're the middle children of history, man--no purpose or place. We have no great war. No great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars . . . but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact and we're very, very...

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Can you tell what part of the u.s. you are from by your vocabulary or pronunciation? sometimes, but something ive noticed is, people adapt quickly to their surrounding bodies. ive been in the Marines for 5 years now, and i have heard peoples accent change and lessen as they are surrounded by many different american language styles. its kinda wierd...

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Have you ever posted an answer and got such a kick out of it that you laughed so hard that you literally cried? man a few times! heres my favorite!!! http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2101332

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What do you like about yourself as an ABer? im brutally...brutal. and honest. and it gets my creativity flowing...

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Is tomorrow a big day for you? tomorrow is my friday, which means today is thirsty thursday, which means tomorrow is freaky friday, and i will not ever cook bacon in the nude again...ever.

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Getting married next week..any advice? This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

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What is the rudest thing a cop has said to you? "spread em!" but sir, i can ex.... "nevermind, i said spread em"

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What song do you like that is very very controversial, if not fresh? The Star-Spangled Banner

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What's the funniest pick up line? Hey girl! wanna go shopping. i got a lane bryant gift certificate. later we can stop and get 13 cheeseburgers so you can feel better about yourself.

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I'm 6' and 200lbs. I last smoked new yers eve. But 7 days ago I took a hit and yes only a hit and caught a slight buzz due to it being kind bud. I have may have a drug screen (piss) in about 5 days. Will I pass? dude, i so drank bleach water one time, but dilute it severely. you might wake up with a headache, but your stomach lining will take care of it. but listen man, just hang tough with the juice, it will work its magic. peace.

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When a question clearly resembles a homework assignment, do you avoid it on purpose or try to help? i usually am sarcastic (like normal) and mention something about my decoder ring that i wear, and how i have to turn it to the left twice, then back around to the right, then tap the center and voila. then i tell em "it says your an idiot"

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Men: How do thongs feel on you? i like the way they stay between my toes when im on the beach. oh, and that clapping sound they make when i walk and they slap my heel...i can smell the salt now!!!

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Is there one particular AB user that seems to be very mysterious to you? ooooh oooooh ooooooh pick me, pick me. trees fall down in the forest, but they dont make noise unless your there.

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If the whole world were listening, what would you say? so what had happened was...

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I broke up with my g/f of three months last night. I feel okay, i still have some small feelings for her, but yet i feel more relaxed. How do you fully know when your over someone? when you hook up with her best friend...

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Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? the world will stop at nothing to rid itself of evil...

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What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? sleep! i hated it!

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Wow, I'm 8 points until level 2. What do I get when I gain that level? its traditional to stand on one foot and try and bite your ear...

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What mood are you in? blah

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What's the closest you have ever been to a posionous snake not behind a barrier? wow, i flipped my quad hunting white tails one time, and landed right on a mocassin. got bit...not once but twice. and managed to make it back to camp after applying a tourniquet just below my knee immediately with my belt and my k-bar. i know, im amazing. i suffered very little...

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Do you believe that abstinence is the "right" thing to do? no no, i think it is the left. complete opposite.

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Do you scan the AB leaderboards weekly, rarely or not at all? ive looked once, and i realized what a wonderful, exciting life i must have... either that, or these people are cooler than me... but i know the secret (psssst...trees make noise when nobodies around, and even monkeys fall out of em once in a while) dont tell anybody.

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If you could choose any song, which one would you choose to sing for karaoke? total eclipse of the heart. And i sing the bonnie tyler part, while my girl friend (notice the nonconjuncted word) sings the meatloaf part. We rock.

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Whats the best brand of Vodka? Stoli!!! and its reasonably priced...

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What do you like best about your state? That i'm made up of a mixture of Solids, Liquids, and Gases

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What's the best chuck norris joke? Chuck Norris was originally named Chuck Stevens. He is such a bitch he took his wife's name when he got married. OR Chuck Norris doesnt have any friends on myspace. Not even Tom

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What year did you or will you graduate high school? class of the Millenium!! 2000

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What happens on St. Andrews in LA. it was in an Janes addiction song titled Jane says? possibly where Jane (the band is titled for his late wife, jane) scored her smack...

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Whats a good way to focus in school without easily getting distracted and actually WANTING to learn? Dressing in heinous clothing, spilling food on your shirt, picking your nose, and oh yeah...STUDY! but ya see, none of this is fun, and would make for a boring time at school. so just take some aderal that you can get anywhere these days, still be the life of the party, and get good grades anyway.

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What is the most annoying and stupid warning sign you've seen. (EX. On a coffee cup.. Caution: Hot Beverage) on a pack of marlboro lights i bought in the phillipines : May cause death

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How many babies die after birth in the usa each day all of them...eventually. unless they migrate somewhere else to die.

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How do i get about 4 ecstasy pills on a plane? ask the blonde stewardess. she probably picked some up from the rave she just came from in L.A.

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What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "George Bush"? G - DUB!!! oh fa sho dawg!

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Who's in love with a stripper? Put up your hands real high so I can count. Come on. Don't be shy. only if the stripper is crying, and she is using me to buy her baby formula!! then yes, i love her.

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Why do men drink beer? i believe it started during monastic times, when it was a drink not for drunkenness, but substinence. and then it became delicious, and became MAN LAW

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Are you still having a hard time understanding the opposite sex? Do you think you ever will? 98.6 degrees and 2 wet holes. nope, i think i got it!!!

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What would you do if you saw your grandma naked in the kitchen? tell her to trim up the bush!!!

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What alcoholic drink do you hate the most? Habu Sake its a sake that has a habu snake in it... its vicious

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What charges could I bring against my ex wife for not taking proper care of her daughter? 110 volts from a cattle prod. that usually does the trick

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Which American city has the best looking women? Austin has gorgeous women. and the coincidence here...thats my name too. hmmm

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Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? and if the yard doesnt have grass, do you flip over and let him play in the mud??

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Jerry ________________? 's kids

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Balance the following equation: need help!!!! a. ____Al2(SO4)3 + _____Ca(OH)2 à _____Al(OH)3 + _____CaSO4 b. _____H3BO3 à _____H4B6O11 + _____H2O c. _____NaOH + _____Cl2 à _____NaCl + _____NaClO + _____H2O d. _____Al + _____O2 à _____Al2O3 e let me check my super decoder ring...and i twist it to the left twice, then to the right once, then i tap it 3 times.... AHHHA!!! its says ; your an idiot!!!

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What was your first date like? i came out of this dark hole, some lady wearing blue pulled me out. i was covered in red slime, and then, i got slapped on the tush, and givin to some crying lady that everyone called "mommy". it was all so awkward.

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Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? only in the shower

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How many freckles do you have on your left arm? i dont know. too many angel kisses to count, and most are covered with tattoos anyway

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If santa, the easter bunny, and a leprechaun got into it, would would win? i would. along with the man hating dyke. those three are just a figment of your imagination...

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Trace a drop of blood from femoral artery to the femoral vein? whoa, lets learn about subject predicates, and then the abc's, and maybe next week we can discuss bio 101

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What is the first thing that comes to mind... "drunk"? --share a story : ) i pee'd with this chick in my bed, some random girl, and we were drunk, so i rolled her in it and made her believe that she pee'd. she never found out the truth and even bought me a new bed. lol

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Who would like to show thier support for the police? roxanne, you dont have to put on the red light, roxanne

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What would you like on your Tombstone? merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...

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Do you have any furniture that belonged to a grandparent? the liberator

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Do you use a left handed screwdriver or a right? I use both of them with the opposite hands. and if i am working on anything foreign, i opt to use my metric crescent wrench, vise my standard.

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Does anyone know any good April Fools jokes to play on co-workers? oh man there is so many of em. Heres my favorite, and i am the king of pranks : Take some fishing string and tie it to the chair. then run it under the desk and back up. wrap it around random things on the desk like the stapler, 3 hole punch, computer mouse, etc. when they pull out the chair, everything is pulled off the desk. its hilarious. you can also unplug the phone reciever, but leave...

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My Friend Is Belimic ! And I Dont Know What To Do ? HELP !!? dont by them dinner! its a waste of money;-0---- and, try to get them to stop, but if they dont, make sure they see a throat specialist, along with a dentist, and that should convince em. if that dont work, then they have already purged your friendship, and go have a milkshake with a new friend

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My Friend Is Going Belimic ! I Don'T Want To Tell Her Parents , Cause Then She Could Will Do It More Ofton... AND , Shes Very Thin? Should I Tell Someone , If So WHO? her dentist! hes gonna need to set her up some appointments

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Who are your top 5 favorite stand-up comedians ever? 1) Woody Allen (highly overlooked) 2) Bob Saget (hilarious pervert) 3) Denis Leary (for president!!!) 4) Steve Martin (When comedy was still funny...) 5) George Carlin (wow!!)

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Is there such a thing as a 'French Spirit', if so, what is it exactly? eat cheese, be cowardish, and give all your stuff to anyone of zay germans.

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Ok, so my comment light has been on since about 10:30 this morning and there is never a new comment. Just a comment light that seems to be stuck on. Does anyone else have this problem? sometimes they hide themselves further back in your comment list...keep digging

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Did you know the total cost of the war on Iraq could feed every person in poverty in africa for there entire life nope. didnt know that. thats why that is africa, and this is AMERICA

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What should I deep fry for you? Ice!! you ever seen that?? its fun...

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Whats the worst thing a man can say to a women during labor? wow nice smock! did you get that at lane bryant?? OR Hurry up! you still got laundry to do, and im gettin hungry

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When will there be a cure for aids and cancer? its not the nineties anymore. its all about the cancer, nobody really cares about aids...do they??? you never see any aids benefits, unless they get like cher to perform, and whos gonna go see that...

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If tobacco & alcohol aren't tightly controlled in Japan, what's to stop the underage from buying them in the numerous vending machines? well it will be the japanese underage, and it doesnt really seem to be a problem over here...either that or noone cares about health, and that doesnt seem to be the problem. but its like this, you tell a kid they cant have it, they go for it. you make it readily available, and its not that big of deal...corporations make laws. and all this anti youth drinking/smoking ads are just showing teens...

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What do you think is the most common cause of divorce? people get married to young!! for instance, my ex wife was so immature. she used to come into the bathroom when i was taking a bath and try to sink my boats. i just couldn't take it anymore.

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I just caught by boyfriend of 2 yrs in bed with my younger sister, any reason to not to just kill myself? plenty of reasons...does he have a brother?? or a dad??

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What made your family great? that they are mine...

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The US death toll was reported as now having reached 4,000 in the war in Iraq. Why don't we recieve regular reports of the 43,000 killed in traffic accidents in the US each year? Aren't these people important also? wow. that is quite interesting if you compare the 2 numbers. you know what that tells me?? We have one hell of a fighting force, and too many knuckleheads on the road careening their fiery foreign racecars into quarries, or even into ravines, only to die in a blaze alcoholism, exhaustion, or just plain stupidity. But we got warriors on the other side of the world not dying from exhaustion,...

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What do you think about your brother/sister? well, i wish he would have stayed my brother!! Post operation he really turned, well...for a lack of a better word, fruity.

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Should I invest in Gold? Is now the time to stock up? Is this a good idea or a bad idea? angels are whores and jesus is a pimp.

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Are the Keebler Elves volunteers? actually, they are 8 year old philipina hookers. but they make great cookies huh.

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What do u think beauty is? Beauty is skin deep. On the contrary, Ugly goes straight to the bone

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What tactics have Satan used to tarnish God's reputation? absinthe

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How I would convince my seven years old child to go to school? a wooden spoon. how can your 7 year old convince you they dont have to go? awkward..

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Do you frown or smile when you look at the mirror? i give my self a hi 5, then i wink, and blow myself a kiss. or i draw a penis in the steam condensation and giggle to myself.

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Has anyone met kurt cobain? where do bad folks go when they die. they dont go to heaven where the angels fly they go to a lake of fire and fry. see em again til the 4th of july.... maybe i will see him on independence day...

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Has anyone met kurt cobain? his maker

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What music are you listening to RIGHT NOW? Jimmie Eat World - "The Middle" (acoustic)

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Who do you say crap in french? why french? say it TO the french, but say it in german. that way you can push them around and take all their stuff. ungrateful cowards.

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What kind of mother allows her 16 year old daughter to have a 28 year old boyfriend? the kind of mother that wants to sleep with the 28 year old boyfriend. selfish bitch. lol

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If you found yourself "bear-hugged" from behind by a large man and you were being choked to death, what would you do to escape? drop your weight, go for the radial nerve on the forearm, while simultaneously stepping out to the right. bring my left leg around the back of the brute, and stand up, setting him off balance and strike with an elbow or hammerfist. than i would claim i was a ninja and i had lasers in my fingertips.

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How can I really make a guy like me ALOT? try not to talk. and smile.

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Will G. W Bush be the worst president in history? ya know, they said this same trash about Reagan, and look at how he is looked at now : a great historical president. Many many years from now, all the bandwagon bush haters will look back, and realize he improved the quality of life for Americans, and will then bash their current president, whom your grandkids will learn about in history books. Hey, you can stuff feathers up your ass, but your...

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How can I convince my girlfriend to get an abortion? fill her up with roofies!!! pretend like you love her, cut her open carefully, remove the fetus, and leave her in a bathtub full of ice. did i just say that?? make sure to get her some cheeseburgers, lots of em, so after wards she can eat her depression away while gaining 10 lbs, and in the meantime, find a new girlfriend.

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How do mermaids have sex? with the horns of unicorns, and their tears as lubrication inside the blowhole. its a sight to see.

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What do you enjoy doing after you've had sex? ill tell you what my favorite thing was!! some stuff got in her eye one time(dont worry, ive got it in my own eye before on accident, so i know how it feels) and i had turned off all the water going to the bathroom when i told her i was going to get a towel, and she stumbled into the bathroom feeling around for the sink to rinse her eye out, and i died on the floor in a fit of butt naked...

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Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? they are communists

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How can I start a comotion in my church and by comotion I man a controversy. call the priest judas

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Guys, at the urinal do you unzip and fish, or unbuckle and lower? unbuckle and lower, and i mean around the ankles. it makes people really uneasy, and its quite comical

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First thing that comes to mind when I say Dorito? jay leno

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What would you say is the best drink to mix with Vodka? drain-o. wow, what a kick!!! all the cool kids are doin it but i prefer cranberry and sprite

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If you have a girlfriend do you actually like them for who they are inside or for something else? oh, you mean my life support for a vagina. or that all she is worth is 98.6 degrees and 2 wet holes. or that she should go to mcdonalds and order 10 double cheeseburgers, eat herself into happiness, because she has obviously done it before. ....IM JUST KIDDING. i love you ladies...all of you

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Why aint you suppose to swallow gum? because you will stick to the bath tub

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What does it mean when a guy says "he wants to eat me"? bring him a fork and a knife.

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When showering, do you wash your hair or body first? i usually start from the top, making a shampoo mohawk. then i usually pee, as i write my name. maybe sing a little bit, lather up, paying extra attention to my manly parts, then i fart and laugh at how loud it sounds, and when i get out, i totally avoid the bathmat and get water all over the floor. then i usually draw a penis on the mirror.

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What did charles darwin conclude from reading the work of hutton and lyell? that september was a dinosaur, therefore must be the oldest month ever.

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Can I leave now? make like a baby, and head out. make like a boner in sweat pants, and stick out

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How do you feel about sexually explicit answers to questions that are not sexual in nature? i feel like they could slowly rub me down in the wrong way, making their nimble fingers close to the keyboard, and stroking so gracefully a key of explicit nature, making me quickly go to climax and shout out with blissful enthusiasm, "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, GET A LIFE"

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If you could bring back anyone from dead who would it be and why? The duke, John Wayne. anyway, hes not dead. hes frozen. and as soon as i find the cure for cancer im gonna thaw out the duke, and hes gonna be pretty pissed off. you ever taken a cold shower, yeah, well multiply that by 13 million times and thats how pissed off hes gonna be.

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What are the Pros and Cons of fake nails? scratches all down my back...it could go either way. pro or con

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Do you use sugar or artificial sweeteners? aspartame (artificial sweetener) is known to cause cancer in the state of california. i dont want cancer, so i drive across the border to mexico before i indulge my self in sugar free gum or sweet and low in my tea. hey, what can i say, i beat the system...

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Does your appliances hate you? everything i touch mechanical hates me. for example, i was using the toaster the other day, and it didnt pop up! and it burnt my toast, and when i got it to pop, it shook the hell out of my bread, and irritated me. i told it to behave. then i warned him of my screwdriver, and the damage i could do.

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Would you like my Social Security Number? is it 9 digits? and contains the numbers 1-9? i think ive already got it.

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What is the time where you live? It is 5:05 pm. just pulled into the philippines. i dont live here, and no, im not a sailor. just caught a free ride!! ready or not flip-o's here i come!!

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Do you have a crush on a celebrity? Who is it? Britney. Leave her alone. we should get married and fall into a world of roofie cocktails. oh wait, im too late.

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How do u open up a closed up friend? if your making friends with boxes, you got bigger issues. otherwise, take em out, be outgoing with strangers, set the example. or try this, take them to a building with an elevator, one that is usually pretty crowded. a mall, office, etc. Let them get in, and when you get in, face the back of the elevator. It will make him/her feel a bit uncomfortable at first, as well as everyone else in...

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Why did you get divorced My ex-wife was so immature. When i was bathing, she would always come in and try to sink my boats. I couldnt deal with that anymore.

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When you go to a bakery, what items do you usually purchase? Whatever i buy, i usually end up with 13 of them. (a bakers dozen, duh?) japanese bakeries are the greatest!! but they dont do the whole bakers dozen deal. what a rip huh?

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In one word, how would you describe your sex life? next!

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What are your thoughts on Castro stepping down as leader of Cuba? eww....thoughts? well heres a thought. the 1947 pittsburgh pirates had a chance to draft ole Fidel, thats right, hot outta Havana High, with some fire on a fast ball, a magic curve, and a change up to blow your mind. but instead, they rescinded the offer, leaving him a chance to lead cuba. nothin but the statue of liberty shootin itself in the ole wet foot again. no pun intended. Imagine, no...

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Do you like grilled cheese? i did. until this one girlfriend i had, yeah, i started to...ya know, and did kinda like a tear drop move and came right back up. Have you ever tried to take the 2 pieces of bread of a grilled cheese apart? yeah, well, the rest is history.

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Who are you voting for? and why? hillary says "barack, your a doodoo head." barack says, "no you are the big doodoo head!" senator Mccain has my vote, but i dont vote!

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Whats your favorite childhood story? I was in analysis for troubled kids, you should know that about me, I was in group analysis when I was younger, 'cause I couldn't afford private counseling..I was captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's fuckin hilarious. I used...

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In the state of Missouri, do you have to have a death certificate or a know the cause of death to bury a body? you might just want to consult a coroner, and then stop by your local homicide division. just a thought. sorry about (if it happened) your loss.

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What kinds of jobs can a 14 year old get? oooooh...what country?? Nikes and adidas always need made.

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What is the quickist way to do you homework and get it done fast? ask the questions on answerbag. you can join the rest of the flunkies that get several wrong answers and try to decipher the right one.

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What is one thing about your self that you get compliments for? my manly ass!!

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Do you have more of the opposite sex on your AB friends list? yes. wow. never noticed.

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What is addicting to you? knowledge, knowledge, and knowledge!! oh yeah, and carefree fornication!

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What season is Weeds on? 4 i think

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What kind of life would you consider to be a wasted life? ooooh, like chris farley...and many many others who died before their time.

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If you could only write with a crayon for the rest of your life, which color would you pick? the brightest in the 'bag'...gotta have somethin to represent me!!

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say Internet a melting pot of religions, races, sex's, religion (did i say that already?) ethnicities exploring a plethora of someones self proclaimed famous knowledge in a stream of digital salmon delivering there little knowledge eggs to and from the brains of good and bad little boys and girls. (takes deap breath)

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Why do guys think that their girls always have to have big boobs, a tiny waist, and big hips, do they not realize that not all girls look like this? its the wet monkey theory!

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Why is it that guys always have to say that line, "oh, well, we can just be friends." rgh! it just gets to me, is there a reason for that? does it make them feel manly? saying that doesnt make me feel manly, actually its quite the opposite. Im all about truth. If she is not as beautiful to me once i really get to know her, well then she better know its comin. so maybe next time she can correct her faults, if they are in fact faults. That way, the next poor son-of-a-gun that straggles her way will have a one-up on the previous guys, and she is left a little...

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What do you do when you feel lonely after a break up? I pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because that's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it that vampires are real, that I was born this way, that I feed off of other people's real emotions. I search for this night's fling. Who will it be? "wow, she looks familiar-- have we met?" I probably have been with her...

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What would tell someone who is down on ther luck? Luck has nothing to do with it. Everything is preordained. Manifest destiny. You can stop time from happening no more than you can will the oceans to overwhelm the world, or to cause the moon to drop from her outer sphere.

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What do you think of heath ledgers sudden death? <<<sings "and another one bites the dust...du du duuuu and another one down and another one down, another one bites the dust" condolensces to his family.

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"If ex-lovers remain friends, it could only mean one of two things: either they're still in love, or never really were." Do you consider this true or false? False! We were in love, got divorced, and are still in love. we love life, and dont wanna be tied down by ritualistic "marriage" because it is custom. marriage (gags) the tax breaks arent even worth it!!

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For all the divorced ABers out there: What kind of relationship do you still have with your ex? Great! we have 2 girls, were married for 4 years, and love each other. marriage was not right for US, and we know that. but we made our "miracles" and love each other. as a matter of fact, the day we got divorced, we stayed together a week later, went to new orleans, and had a blast. the "world" should join me in such carefreeness. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WALK AROUND ALL PISSED...

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Guys: Snap question(pardon the pun)...would you have a mistress(it's a yes or no answer) ill go out on a limb here...YES. and do i think its wrong...kind of. but a really smart old man (gramps) that has been married longer than anyone ive ever met told me a secret one time. when i asked how he did it, he whispers in my ear "you have to cheeeeaaaaatttttt.......cheeeeeaaaaaatttttttt!" now im not married, but i do have my recurring flings and they arent just for my benefit!!!

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If you can spend a day usefully with mentally challenged people, what would you do with/for them? its a blast! The most innocent, biggest hearted humans ever. We once went to the Houston Zoo, it was tough, but it was well worth it. Definately a life altering experience, and a couple years later, my sisters daughter was born with 22q11, and is so smart, and loving, and i know how to handle it now.

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Does wearing glasses make you a nerd? a nerd is a nerd! no change in what your wearing. you could be drop dead gorgeous, and completely nerdy. and that is HOTTT!!! I mean, you cant always buy a product because of the pretty packaging. a nerd is still gonna I.E know too much about star wars, and bytes, and know how to take apart a clock radio and use its parts for an RC helicopter. and thats all cool. but if you wanna be a nerd, and...

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If you had to, would you save 10 dolphins or one human? id club the dolphins and 10 baby seals to save one human. id make sure their bodies went to good use, science ya know, and headlights for my cadillac, and oh yeah, science!

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What can I do to reduce the pain of getting a tattoo? dont let anyone lie...IT HURTS! ive got sleeves and many more, and call me a puss, but they all hurt. the best you can do is stay relaxed. ask him to put a movie on, or if you like to read, bring a book. I watched the first 3 rocky movies for my right arm...and about a pack of smokes. be ready!!!

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What are some of the worst compliments that you have ever heard anyone get in a social setting? your not the best lookin thing, but you sure are fun!

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Why do men in the military treat their wives like they are disposable. The hardest job in the military is that of the wife. no doubt about it and hats off to them all. but that is stereotypical, as is all military wives cheat. mine did. and his, and his, and his, and oh, his too, and he is the CO. and you cant say it is because we treat them as disposable, however i dont speak for everyone. I have had wives come on to me before and after i was divorced, when i...

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What is it like living in a town that borders a time zone? Oh it is so cool. I am stationed in Yuma, AZ, (im not there at this moment tho :( ) Yuma NEVER changes time zones, so half the year it is cali time (pacific) the other half it is not. so when the bars close in Yuma, you still got one more hour to drink in Cali! so we head over there and party down. we also got a casino thats half in cali, half in AZ, and the same applies!

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What's your favorite song from a motion picture? Please name the movie. "you gotta friend in me" - Toy Story

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What does the sign taped to YOUR back say? Return to sender, address unknown, no such number, noone home muwahahahahaha

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Why are americans soooooooo dumb? okay, if "dumb" is all you can come up with, you might want to consult your nearest thesaurus for some insight on the art of talking shit. and to top it off, you shot yourself in the foot. you could have got the same results by saying, "why ARENT americans dumb(or your better word found in the book prementioned). and people as a whole are "dumb", but any one person...

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What to people think of Australia / Australians? That the women are beautiful and that they love American men. (and both held true) Best time of my life

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What is the dumbest question you have been asked by a person from another country, about your own? I was asked by an American if we have cows in Australia! same country, but i met someone from new hampshire that thought texans still ride around in horse and carriage. too much mtv for some people i guess...

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When you walked away from your computer the last time what did you go and do? troubleshoot launches...it was cold.

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What does the (prob. scottish) saying: "going to see a man about a dog" mean? my pops used to say it all the time, and we are from texas, so it might not be stottish, but he usually said it when he blatantly didnt want us to know where he was going. its origin, well, i could come up with some crazy story, or i can leave it up to someone else to google ;-)

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What is January famous for? mlk day, first operations in desert storm, ummmm... my birthday...the first superbowl!...new years...and i think the Challenger blew up in january...but maybe it was february. i know it was near my birthday

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I am currently out of work at the moment, why do I feel more tired now than when I was at work? fatigue comes from lack of energy expended and too much sleep, from what i have noticed. and you probably are eating a little different with more time on your hands? thats the best i can do...sorry. not really a subject matter expert!!!

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When you go away, who do you miss the most steven colbert...

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Do you keep a dictionary by your side at all times? i absolutely do. the ole trusty mr. webster. i can always count on him. that is one of many books that stay beside me.

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Whats the first thing the new US president should do? go to confession, look through the chain mesh, and say "you first pal"

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Does anyone have anything positive to say about president Bush? its funny, cause everyone said these kinds of things (negative) about Reagan.

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Finish this sentence: If I was a little more ______, I would.... If i was a little more point deprived, i would tell you how i have had enough jew, christian, atheist, theist, non conformist, smothered with allah questions. i would tell you how i DONT want to congratulate anyone on their New level, or their good grade, or their LOST virginity. i would probably say something about your math assignment, and how your Attention deficit disorder is kicking your...

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Have you ever had an HIV test? What made you decide to have a test done? How long did it take to get the results back? Was it difficult waiting for the results? once a year for the past 8 years. its a requirement. you only get the results if they are bad news, and its never happened to me...(knocking on wood)

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What is your shower routine?? toe to head, head to toe? exfoliate, no exfoliation, hot, cold? etc Do you habitually blow your nose in your hand? do you pee? im gonna answer now. i make my way to the shower after taking my clothes off in the bedroom, if i pass last nights 'adventure' on the way, ill pull off my towel and shake weiner at her while making the woot woot sound. then ill get in the bathroom, check out my manly physique, turn on the shower, and get in. i spend a majority of the time scratching my ass and washing my balls. then i...

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If money were not a consideration,what kind of car would you get? a 1987 sheepdog

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Out of curiosity do straight men really have a problem with gay guys being around them? Tell the truth i got in big trouble for answering a similar question earlier. but no, i got 2 gay friends, and they are cousins, and they are sluts. its funny. however, gay guys dont dislike straight guys, but IN MY EXPERIENCE gay women do. but i made a funny earlier, if you care to see it. http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2109929

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Ok your at a party and you see people picking on a girl that is Lesbian, do you help her or do you join in on the homophobia? okay im a guy, and i dont pick on anybody. and keep in mind, i am a guy, a straight one, Okay, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center, is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now at the end of each of the streets, are four people, okay? You following? Up here, we got a male-affectionate, easy-to-get-along-with, no political agenda lesbian. Okay? Now down here, we have...

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Do you find the term grammer nazi offensive. question mark the word is grammar.

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How many ducks could you take in a fight? i can take a whole circle of em. but there can only be one goose!! Duck duck Goose!!!

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What is something that mostly everybody hides? that they pee in the shower.

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What the difference in the love u get from ur mother and the love u receive from ur betterhalf my mom used to make my bed.

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What's your good experience on an airplane? i was hung over, the stewardess knew this (not to mention she was knock down gorgeous) and she sat next to me and hooked me up to some oxygen. then she brought me some vodka and cranberry juice with an advil and massage my neck until we landed in denver. oh the one that get away. i have flown delta in the early morning ever since looking for her.

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Bombing for Peace is like having sex for your virginity. Agree? that is probably the worst simile of all time. blowing a building is nothing like blowing a load. you should have said "HAVING SEX FOR PEACE IS LIKE BOMBING YOUR VIRGINITY" ....now thats a good bumper sticker.

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A prostitute told me she was still virgin, should i believe her? will you? dude, she is not a prostitute if she's a virgin. can i be a baker if ive never cooked. self proclamation is sure fire way to becoming a self proclaimed loser. next question.

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Why do women feel the need to fake an orgasim? because they actually think we care!

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How many funny yet potentially offensive ways can you complete this sentence? "Don't take it the wrong way but..." the better part of you went down your moms crack, and is now a stain on my mattress. but dont worry son, we had you anyway.

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Do you play other 'Air' instruments besides guitar? Wow! we once had a whole airband. Kind of a drunk invention, but me and 3 friends just started playing air music with the jukebox. the owner asked us to do it again the following saturday. We brought a guitar case with no guitar, a microphone stand with no mike, a drum stool and sticks with no drums, and a keyboard stand. we made about 200 bucks in tips, doing what we do best. playing air...

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Have you ever even seen a movie with Chuck Norris in it? What is he so famous for? He is also in this movie "sidekick" with some asthma prone kid who wants to achieve blackbelt.blah blah blah. Chuck Norris was originally named Chuck Stevens. hes such a puss, he took his wifes last name. and ole chucky boy doesnt have any friends on myspace...not even tom.

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What is worth more to you: someone giving you points or someone leaving a nice comment on your answers? it is really about the comments and the convo. points are just there because people have to feel like they are good at something, and most our so simplex (i love that word) that a made up points scale resembles their own self worth, and makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. its kind of like a "guarantee" stamp on a box of a product you buy. But its all about the comments.

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How can I stop my cats from fighting? Is it possible that they will never get along? tie their tails together and hang them over a clothes line. it will work. they will never fight again.

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If you died today, who is the one person you would want by your death bed? Why? Brittany spears. She would make a better prostitute than paris hilton, she's thicker.

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Can a man cheat on his wife several times and still really love his wife? Does cheating mean there is a lack of communication in the relationship? ive told this story many times on here. but here goes. I once saw this old couple at the hoover dam, phylis and dick. and after talking to them, and taking a photo of them (in which dick gave phylis a kiss on the cheek right as i snapped the photo), i found out they had been married 50 years on this day. I asked dick "how do you do it? how do you stay so happy?" and dick grabbed me...

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Why do you feel better after you have a "good cry"? there is nothing like a good cry. i wish sometimes i wasnt such a man, and could just do it anywhere. Have you ever been at work and standing by the copy machine, and its usually a monday, and your bottom lip just starts goin! oh man, then a co worker comes up and is like "whats wrong man" and your quivering and your like 'this copy machine is outta toner...' and you are...

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Shakespeare; What's your favorite Play and Why? Shakespeares favorite play was Macbeth.

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Everyone dislikes something; even hate sometimes. What do you hate? (Please don't answer with "I don't hate . . . ." Just don't answer If you really feel that way .) i hate Ajax and Jack Frost and Corn Flakes and Billy Ray's Achey Breaky, Jack Johnson(the runner, not the singer), Johnny Cash, Johnny Carson, Johnny Depp. I hate the Pope, and Pop-Tarts, I hate nutty buddies, and acid jazz and rapists, I hate JFK, RFK, FDR, FBI, CIA, STP, AFL, CIO, ABC, NBC, CNN, mtV, JVC, VCR, ATM, U of A. I Hate John Wilkes Booth and Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan and MARY TYLER...

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If green means "go", and red means "stop", what does blue mean? breathe!!

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Have you met the love of your life? oh yeah. She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. It hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something too. So could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So, fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put...

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Songs that should never be played on an accordion? (ie - Stairway to Heaven) achey breaky heart

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Do you think Bush will make a good military general? Bush will. because he is a dick and here is why : We're d*cks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid d*cks! And the terrorist organizations are p*ssies. And bin laden is an *sshole. P*ssies don't like d*cks!.. because p*ssies get f*cked by d*cks. But d*cks also f*ck *ssholes. *ssholes who just want to sh*t on everything. P*ssies may think they can deal with *ssholes their way, but the...

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What is something wrong that you do often? Well maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly." I don't "wear clothes that fit me." I'm not a "heartbreaker." I haven't "had sex with a woman." I don't know "how that works." I guess I don't "fall in line." I'm not "hygienic." I don't "wipe properly."...

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I'm a deep throater and a swallower. Is that good or bad? pat yourself on the back. and tomorrow we will learn the ABC's.

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What do you think is the biggest cause of so many answers not getting rated? the tranquility of repetitious over looking.

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So...this is the life? This is the life. and we all have that choice.so choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television. Choose washing machines, cars, itunes and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a...

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Do you sometimes blame other people for your problems? I blame Ajax and Jack Frost and Frosted Flakes and Achy Breaky, Lyndon Johnson, Johnny Cash, Johnny Carson, Johnny Quest. I blame the Pope, and Pop-Tarts, I blame Jif, and jazz and O.J. Simpson, JFK, RFK, FDR, FBI, CIA, STP, AFL, CIO, ABC, NBC, CNN, JVC, VCR. I blame John Wilkes Booth and Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan and MARY TYLER MOORE!! I blame all people who use three names. Big Bird, guilty,...

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What is the best way to get rid of "man boobs"? testicular cancer support groups.

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Can you fall inlove with someone over the internet? or is just the words? I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested but I'm not really interested, or should I play like I'm interested,...

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Given only $200 free round trip tickets and hotel (food not included) any where in the world and 3 days to use them where would you go? the airport!

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(I'm not racist but) Why do Indians eat with their hands when they can use a spoon/fork? Humans have lost their relationship with food. we simply take it for granted, and contrary to us, indians almost worship it, and are always thankful for it. (remember when they gave it to the "white" man near plymouth rock?) that was a huge gift.

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What is the un-healthiest food you know that calls to you saying "Resistance Is Futile"? margarine (fake butter) its like one chemical off of plastic. you can leave it outside, and flies wont even land on it. and anything that contains aspartame.

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Who likes to join me in congratulating......... Who do you want me to congratulate?And for what? amen

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What exactly is broken in a broken heart? the left ventrical, literally.

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If you had just 1 thing to wear, what would it be? a deer skin.

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My Car engine has got wet and will not start ? What do i do? take the bus.

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What would you say if I knocked on your door right now? im sorry mushroom, we dont serve your kind here.

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Can u describe yourself without using the word 'I', 'me', 'am', 'myself'? eye em probably the coolest, most sincere person ever. oh yeah, and eye em good lookin too.

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Are you asian? not yet, but at this rate, it wont be long!

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Have you ever actually met someone from AB in person? yeah. it was wierd tho. i went to this house and Chris Hanson was there from msnbc. and there was cops and cameras, i fled on foot. LOL

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Is there someone who you just know will always be there for you, no matter what? A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. and that is the only true loyalty.

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What is your favorite break up line that you like to use? i once purposely cheated so she would catch me in action. then i told her it was an accident as i watched her packing her things. who has the last laugh now!!

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If you could go back and tell your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Anything goes...... PULL OUT!!!

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If you have more than one cat, what color are your cats and what are their names? I once lived with people who had three cats. a white one (his name was white cat, shortly renamed why cat, because we didnt know why he was there) then we had a gray cat, his name was gray cat. then we had an orange cat, his name was ralph. we soon learned that the best cats were in fact dead cats.

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I need a haircut. What do you think would look good? i prefer the little landing strip. or maybe heart shaped.

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If a talking (insert your name here) doll were made, what phrases would it say? i want it on or near my face. somewhere in the vicinity of my mouth.

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What part of your body starts getting cold first? the kibble and bits

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What piece are you when you play Monopoly? the shoe. and when i play with my grandma, i cant let her be the banker. ill look over and she will have this stack of pink 50's and penthouses on broadway whilst im trying to maintain my crackhouses on or near the railroad tracks. then i get all pissed off and flip the board over and go tell grandpa that nanna is a cheating whore. i hate that game!

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If you could have a surplus amount of one thing free in the world that is FIVE LETTERS LONG, what could it be? (and please, dont say money. be creative!) oh you know...some of that stuff we used to eat back in the day, oh whats that stuff called?? it is delicious and tasty and fun. what is that stuff called??

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I'm practically depressed since people at school always hurt my feellings,any help for a 12 year old? cut down, not across. and make sure you have your favorite fallout boy cd playing, and the toaster plugged in next to the bath tub.

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How do you prefer your steak? Rare, MR Medium, MW, or Well Done? with a spoon, and chopsticks, with a side of matches.

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Did you know that over 3/4 of Oklahoma boys have been malested by one or more of their parents by the age of 8 and when those boys get to be adults 3/4 of them end up to be rapist or malesters? 78's of all statistics are made up.

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If you were being mugged by a midgit, how would you defend yourself? with a mushroom stamp to the forehead.

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What is it REALLY like in Iraq hot. and then cold. and boring.

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If you could go back and tell your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Anything goes...... CHEAT!!!

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How do u know if he is lying to u? he smells like chanel no 5, and heads straight for the shower

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Can you sleep well when it's light out? Me: Never, I wish I could take naps during he day, I just simply cannot. i work nights, so i dont have a choice.

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Why does Caleb K always hang out with Jacob L? (people from my class) cuz its the alphabet lil homey! l comes after k!

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How did you lose your "best friend"? Whose fault was it? he shot himself. I dont know whos fault it is, probably his...

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Think of a word ending in "-ation" One word per person , check for duplicates. ration

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Target or Wal-Mart? why isnt there walmarts in iraq......CUZ THERES A TARGET ON EVERYCORNER!!! WALMART IS BETTER.

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Do you think that it's normal to have one night stands? yeah its okay. as long as safety is paramount. meaning the guys on bottom, cause she cant get pregnant, and he cant get an sti/std that way. hey, its science. i didnt make the rules okay.

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How old are you? 25 and 69 inches tall.

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You are walking down the road and the police pull up behind you. What are they pulling up behind you for? to check out my pants style! or lack of pants. or maybe it was the junk in my trunk. or it could have been because i painted his sisters name on the water tower!

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What names would you never name your children? bocephus, hezekiah, muhammed, skeeter, lyle, oh and josh.

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What are some good male and female names for my baby? googaa, pookey, papoose, precious, or just make some other noise that sounds cool to a baby...

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Who is the most famous person from your home town? Beyonce, renee zelwegger (spelling)

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Can we have a question where all the answers are questions themselves? does a bear sh*t in the woods?

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What words hurt the most? ooooh good one. Its those little comments your girl says just to get to you. and you know when there comin too. she'll walk into the kitchen, and she will stop, with one leg cocked out to the side, and she will do some motion with her hand, maybe like a window wiper motion, or an angry hair flick, or she'll tuck her fist under her chin all cute like. then she'll turn and walk...

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When you see a spider in your house do you kill it? i did that one time, and a bunch of lil baby spiders scattered about. i was freaked. i screamed like a bitch, grabbed the hairspray and a lighter and went to town. i slept better knowing that napalm sticks to babies...spiders that is.

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The Urination Shivers. Does anyone get them? Your thoughts? dude, that is the coolest feeling in the whole wide world. you just have to say awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. and then do a little shimmy and put the fella up.

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What are your thoughts on guys wearing make up? like some rockers wear or Johnny Depp ...black eyeliner, shadow, painted nails...are you ok with it? its okay for theater. otherwise its known as emo. by the way, whats the difference between an emo kid and the grass? the grass dont cut itself!!!

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We just adopted an obnoxious little black puppy. Having some trouble choosing a name! any suggestions? webster. you know, the little annoying black guy.

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Why do you live where you live? I have to. they pay me to go where they need me. soon its off to the philipines for me, then singapore, thailand, australia, then back to arizona, US. then in november, i go home to Texas. i live where i wanna live, and i love it.

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What is the biggest lie you've ever heard? 'dude, i was on my way to your party, and i crashed my car! I totally flipped it into a ditch, no i flipped it into a ravine. it was awful. the only thing that was going through my mind, was "im not gonna make it to this party" it was awful. i had to crawl out of the fiery mess! i could have died.'

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Do you have good driving skills in snowy/icy conditions? ive never seen snow. i run from the cold!!!

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How many people speak in pakistan a)how many people are there in pakistan? and b) out of those people, how many are mute? okay now subtract b from a and thats how many people can speak in pakistan. wierd huh? its math brotha

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The guy i like is very cool, and he likes me back, but now he is annoyed because everytime a girl would talk to him i would get upset,and we werent even dating! now he will barely talk to me, did i totally blow my chances, even when he said were cool? didnt you just get mad at your boyfriend for getting a lap dance from a stripper? do what you want, nothing in life is that serious. listen to happy music!!!

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Hey you....why do you look so happy? wow, what is this 21 question? because i am! duh! its thursday night, and my last night at work til monday night. i got paid, bout to get new ink, got a bottle of stoli with some cranberry waiting on me, and im completely care free. not only that, you are pushing my happy button with these inquisitive questions!!!

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Hey there you with the sad face, come back to my place? i cant. im low on gas, and you need a jacket.

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R you thinking what Im thinking? Yeah, but if me and you did that, alot of people would be jealous...of you.....................................................taking over the world is something everybody dreams about.

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Is he lting when he said he had 24 girlfriends? Had? probably not. ive had (not to boast) tons. and ive obtained something from all of em. i couldnt even name them all! hey, im young, and havin fun!

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When your uplate on AB what is your appearance? well groomed or are looking a bit shabby? always in uniform! you think i do this on my own time??? i get paid to answerbag it out!!! (thats a new rap song, btw)

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Define: Tolerance how much someone can drink before u become "that guy"

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If you had the ability, for just one day, to switch genders just to see what it was like, would you do it? What would be the first thing you would do? Get promoted, then get a brazilian wax to celebrate my new promotion...on the boss's card of course.

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Why are all important mafia bosses called Don? It means a superior man. a man capable of having 7 sons.

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What are your favorite quotes? The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. Adolf Hitler (i dont like the guy, but he was a genious)

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Do you think that the present(now) was named so because it is truly a "present" (gift)? or could it have been that it is PRE-SENT to us from a "higher authority"

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What's the closest you've ever been to death & how? i sneezed, burped, farted, coughed and hiccupped simultaneously. it was a doozy

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What do you like to play with? gina

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I am rather rusty on flirting. How do college guys flirt with girls in 2008? just whip it out man. they love that.

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A). describe the term risk management. b). describe the six main types of risk faced by an organisation. something like, assess risk, blah blah blah blah blah....i sleep during this shit.

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What is the most shameful thing you’ve ever done? Hey mikehawk (*pronounced myc*ck) remember that time i mushroom stamped you while you were past out from vodka cranberries??? hahahahahahahahah

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What is one piece of advice that was one of the best youve ever received? keep your friends close and enemies closer. OR if theres grass on the field, play ball. (because nobody likes to get the field all messy)

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If you could commit any crime without ever getting caught what would you do? how would you do it? mere curiosity conspiracy. i dont really know what i would conspire, it just sounds so FUN. i wanna be conspirator

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What is your greatest achievement in life? 2 beautiful girls. and i once ran down a horse...on foot, and drug it back to the stable by his nose!!

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Ever flown first class? Do you think it's worth the money? ive been upgraded 3 of my last 5 flights by presenting a military ID. one was a really long flight, from Atl to San Diego, oh and it was worth every dime. one time, i was even hung over, and this good lookin little blonde "hostess" fed me oxygen and mini vodkas with cranberry. i will never forget her, the woman of my dreams...

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How would you answer this interview question? What were the responsiblities of your last position? That was top secret, and if i tell you, id have to kill you.

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Why don't men like big women? only if they're ticklish!!!

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How much did your wedding cost? does this include the cake, the flowers, the invitation, and oh yeah, the DIVORCE!!

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Why would anyone like Paris Hilton? Yeah why not? shes blonde, young, dumb, and a nymphomaniac. who can complain??

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When you die, what do you think people will remember the most about you? my ability to turn even the greyest situations to a little better shade of light blue, with just a smile and a wise crack.

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Why don't YOU go and fight in Iraq? I have. May i have another? but please send me in the winter, revenge is a dish best served cold. and oh yeah, YOU MISSED ME M*THAF*CKAS!!! <as i hold up the international F*CK you hand sign.>

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500 000 brightly coloured plastic balls bounced down the Spanish Steps in Rome in a stunt by anarchic artist. Graziano Cecchini. Each of the plastic balls "represented a lie told by a politician". He didn't clean the balls up. What do you think? He robbed some little kid of there fun at mcdonalds? im outraged!!

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What's it to you? That scary killer clown that Steven King used to write about. ooooooohhhhhh.... i remember when it was an abc movie special many years ago..

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When using Google, do you just consider the top 5 to 10 or so results and disregard the rest? thats how i found this place. i dont remember what i was googling, but on the 3rd or 4th page in, i clicked on a link that brought me here. I signed up, and laughed and learned all night.

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We see many signs each day that say No Smoking, No Trespassing, No Pets, etc. If you could put an original “No _____” sign on your front door, what would it say? clothes

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If you could have a secret camera in any room in the world, what room would you put it in? the white house toilet. every body needs a good toilet picture, even the big dawgs.

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Guys, do you feel like there are a lot of nice girls out there? Do you feel the reverse? Please explain. I'm curious about how men feel about us. that goes either way. by nice, if you mean, give "us" what we want, some of them. if you mean just polite, then most of them, but if you mean, classy, there is very few. and anything worth having is worth putting up with at least a little "crabiness".

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Can you stay out of AB for more than a FULL day?(I can) from thursday night (my time) to sunday night(my time). and thats cause i only do this at work. you think i spend my weekends here too??? hellz no, im out saving the pacific, one little brown girl at a time!!

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Whats some good techno rave dance type music? you know the kind you play with the strobe lights going. bad boy bill, richard "humpty" vision, dj keoki, kung fu pimp (a little bit of funk in there too), dj Irene (she is from h-town like me). there is alot. try to stay away from mainstream.

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Would you have sex on a first date? absolutely! what kinda question is this? if i dont on the first, (rarely), and i opt for a second one, it is definately a "stay at home" movie night, and then im in like Flint.

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There are some places in your body where the skin is thin enough to let certain things straight through to your blood stream. what are examples of these 'things', and where are these areas of skin situated around your body? the above answers are all good. but the answer is...EVERYWHERE!!! your skin is constantly absorbing chemicals, lotions, etc that you come in contact with. your kidneys help filter these out. im no doctor, but going on precautions and warnings we get at work about personal protective equipment, any contact with any foreign fluid can be absorbed through your skin. some places quicker than others.

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Does the leg magic machine really work? if it doesnt have an "out of order" sign on it...

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How to hack gmail? dude, hackers are so 1980's. what, do you still listen to culture club too. move on with your life bro. no offense. life just isnt a sci fi movie anymore.

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Who else likes this line "Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once"? Story of my life!!! if your not F*ckin up, your not living!! If your not breaking something, your not working!!! its life, and you only get it once

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I'm trying to decide between piano and acoustic guitar classes. just to know, which do guys find is hotter when a girl can play? girls that can play the piano are definately hotter. However, the guitar is sexy too. but you gotta sing with it. and if you are better than me at either one, you are really hot, and we should get married and live musically ever after.

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Have you ever tripped someone...jus cause you needed to laugh? hellz yeah. and the best is when you are behind someone and you kick the bottom of their feet as they walk!! hahahaha. i love it.

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What is the largest amount of alcohol you have consumed in a 24 hour period? I once drank 35 Corona's over a whole day. man oh man i love going away parties!!

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What's one food that as a child you hated, but now can't get enough of? Or as a child loved, but now can't stand? cabbage

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Could chuck Norris beat me up I don't think so I'm hench as a brick wall chuck norris originally was named chuck stevens. hes such a b*tch, he took his wife's last name. oh yeah, and he has no friends on myspace, not even tom!

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Does anyone know any antiquated laws that don't apply anymore in todays society? you can be hung in texas for stealing a horse.

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I think i am in trouble!!! i might already be pregnant and i really dont want that but i think if i am im gonna keep any advice but im not sure yet!!! your questions in conjunction to your previous really really do not make sense. not to be rude, but did you just put on a pink wig and talk in a british accent.

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What does your body do when you die? it checks out, pushes up daisies, kicks the bucket, goes stiff, and if your buried face down, ill have a place to park my bike.

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Which of these comedies are your favorite: Bull Durham, The Player or Anchorman? anchorman. that was funny. all of it.

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I have this boyfriend who stays in Memphis Tennessee... But I don't do long distance relationships... What should I do? well if you dont do long distance, then dont do long distance. or change your view...

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What is the soup of the day. what do you prefer and does the weather change the type of soup you order. thats the soup di jour. mmmmmm, sounds good. ill have that.

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If you could change one thing about your culture what would it be? that we actually had one

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How many tattoos do have on your body? If so would you do more than what you have? My whole right arm, upper left shoulder, right calf, above my crotch-mid torso area, and left forearm...alot.

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What's the first thing that somes to mind when you hear :"I threw my cat through a window"? did it land on its feet this time?

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What's the best thing you ever said about someone? Ya know its funny. We were at a show one time, and i guess my girlfriend told the band i had just got back from iraq. they called me up on stage, and i told them not to cheer for me, to cheer for her, that she and many like her are the real heroes for there support and what they have to go through. everyone cheered. we broke up 2 months later!

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What was your most painful tattoo? (Mine was my foot) The 2 45's right above (and i mean right above) my crotch area stretching to both hips. i felt the WHOLE thing!

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Is anyone here bi bionic? bipolar? biweekly sexual? Bicycle riders? bifocal wearers. your gonna have to give me something else to go on, or im just gonna eat my BIscuits.

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Is it too much to get professional massages once a week? absolutely not. 20 dollars a pop, and a happy ending. life is grand.

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These are my GPS coordinates: North 10°17.5'.... East 123°53.4'. Where am I? on earth, more specifically, in the northern hemisphere in front of a computer probably sitting down.

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Are you at work right now? What is you job? all these crazy computer gurus!!! im absolutely at work right now. if i wasnt you think id be on here?? Hellz no! I am a tech on the AV8B Harrier. thats right, lawn darts, or war pigs. Its cool, we are preparing to get on a boat and float this wonderful western Pacific!! ya heard!

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Which countries hate the United States? who cares. We're free. and they cant breach our "walls"

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What makes you think god is interested in your little human labels? hhhmmmm? well, contrary to popular belief, the big guy needs to stay healthy too. He checks his sodium intake, plans out his percent of daily fiber, monitors his vitamins, and keeps account of his calories. however, his percent of daily value is based on a 4 billion calorie diet. the big guy uses alot of energy.

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What is the main difference between Americans and the British? red coats, and blue coats

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Why do ppl judge? who are they to judge? well, sometimes the court demands a judge. Judge Judy, for instance, she gets paid the big bucks.

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What's the hardest thing to eat with chopsticks? Jello. and mixed nuts.

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How many people in the UK own a Laptop well, it depends on how many laptops are in the UK i guess.

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Was Socrates really fat? Yes he was. and Aristotle dressed like a girl...

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Has anyone ever tasted bottled water after it has gone past the due date? yeah its fine. its just purified water....

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How many really good friends do you have that you can count on: a few, a lot, too many to count? 175,000. US Marines.

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If you could go back in time 4 years ago, what advice would you give Britney Spears? come to me girl. ill take care of you. we can run away, have new kids, you can cook breakfast and call me daddy, and star magazine will never find you. ps. im hot.

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What's a beaver? wynona has a big brown one!!

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What do you often put off til the last minute? the next minute.

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Is this 100 % free unless you categorize your questions wrong! then the meticulous AB'ers will charge you your soul!

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When you ask a question. Do you expect a prompt answer on here? abso-freakin-lutely!!!

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How fast can a beat beat before a beat is not a beat? how fast can i skeet skeet before a skeet is not a skeet!!! here i go.... dkeet skeet skeet skeet skeet

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What would make a lap dance a little more enjoyable as a cure for the common strip joint? If the stripper was cryin!!! thats the only way to make my day. and if she told she was dancing to buy her baby formula, i might give her an extra buck.