Answerbag: sm00z's answers

Answer to How often do you go out of the house not wearing underwear?

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:51:52 -0700

How often do you go out of the house not wearing underwear?

I only do that a few times a week when I go to the end of my driveway to pick up my mail.

Answer to I gave bf oral sex, his privates smelt like sewage, I mentioned it, he was embarrassed & apologized, he told me it might have been pants/underpants that smelt, I smelt pants, it smelt good, I keep wondering what caused odor,should I ask again or dump him?

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:13:29 -0800

I gave bf oral sex, his privates smelt like sewage, I mentioned it, he was embarrassed & apologized, he told me it might have been pants/underpants that smelt, I smelt pants, it smelt good, I keep wondering what caused odor,should I ask again or dump him?

Maybe he only believes in showering once a week and you caught him on an "in-between" day. Tell him to shower at least twice a week in order to double the fun.

Answer to What shouldn't you do at a public meeting?

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:05:07 -0800

What shouldn't you do at a public meeting?

Sneeze without covering my mouth--especially during flu season.

Answer to I seem to end all or most of my comments with lol, what alternative would sound better?

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 10:11:28 -0800

I seem to end all or most of my comments with lol, what alternative would sound better?

GAC = Going Absolutely Crazy!

Answer to Whatever happened to AB user Jodie44?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:50:31 -0800

Whatever happened to AB user Jodie44?

I know that Jodie44 had a sockpuppet account but I didn't see her abusing the point system like many people with multiple sockpuppet accounts have done. Jodie never tried to dominate the Leaderboard like many of the other people with multiple accounts did. She wasn't here to try to...

Answer to When someone teases you, what would you do?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:44:34 -0800

When someone teases you, what would you do?

I usually goose em. It's my nonverbal way of letting them know that sticks and stones will break my bones but etc., etc., etc., ... deserves a good goose!.

Answer to When was the last time you went to the Bank?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:40:28 -0800

When was the last time you went to the Bank?

The day before yesterday. I always need a few hundred in my billfold to buy the house a round of drinks.

Answer to Can fear ever be a good thing?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:38:42 -0800

Can fear ever be a good thing?

For chicken shits it can be but not in my book. I used up all of my fears a long time ago. My way to go is to take whatever comes with the realization that I'm not ultimately responsible for what destiny deals ... so why should I worry about it.

Answer to What is the value of silence?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:32:57 -0800

What is the value of silence?

Not putting anything in writing. Nobody can use silence against me.

Answer to What are you very confident about?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:31:19 -0800

What are you very confident about?

Being here on AB for exactly two years. 11/13/09 will be my second annivsary.

Answer to Do you search for happiness or create it?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:28:56 -0800

Do you search for happiness or create it?

I create it, even if it's fictitious. Somebody else may enjoy reading about it.

Answer to Do you forbid certain words in your house?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:27:01 -0800

Do you forbid certain words in your house?

If they tell me to go F myself. They move into the Y immediately.

Answer to What's a song that mentions nudity or nakedness?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:12:40 -0800

What's a song that mentions nudity or nakedness?

Dr Hook - Hey Lady Godiva

Answer to Have you turn on the heat yet?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:06:10 -0800

Have you turn on the heat yet?

Definitely. Darcy Dachshund barked me into doing that.

Answer to Blue or red?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:59:53 -0800

Blue or red?

Blue on blue. Heartache on heartache.

Answer to Things a fascist would never say?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:58:42 -0800

Things a fascist would never say?

Go ahead an take over my home! My wife and my children are yours.

Answer to Who's voices do you hear in your head?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:53:41 -0800

Who's voices do you hear in your head?

All the women with whom I had intimate relationships.

Answer to Do we have a full right of free expression?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:52:18 -0800

Do we have a full right of free expression?

On here (AB) yes. I learned how to work my way around the censorship.

Answer to Have you been/are you desperate for love?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:50:55 -0800

Have you been/are you desperate for love?

I was desperate about love at a much younger age. Today I am much happier when I have a good pee.

Answer to Why hasn't Barack Obama described the Fort Hood shooting as a terrorist attack?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:48:20 -0800

Why hasn't Barack Obama described the Fort Hood shooting as a terrorist attack?

He wants everyone to think that his first term is hunky-dory in order for him to get re-elected to a second term.

Answer to Things a socialist would never say?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:45:34 -0800

Things a socialist would never say?

God bless you AT&T, General Motors, and Bill Gates!

Answer to Why aren't Christians living like Jesus?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:43:55 -0800

Why aren't Christians living like Jesus?

Because Christians have become too materialistic over the last 2000 years. I have never heard anyone say a prayer for Jesus that would have made his ordeal on this earth be any easier.

Answer to Why are men from Mars and Women from Venus?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:39:34 -0800

Why are men from Mars and Women from Venus?

When someone decided to put all the women on Venus, Mars became Wankersville.

Answer to There will always be someone above and below you. Your thoughts?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:36:05 -0800

There will always be someone above and below you. Your thoughts?

I'm better off being a porker than a porkee.:)

Answer to Whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say "Huge"?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:17:05 -0800

Whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say "Huge"?

<Ignore: a comment was accidentally posted here>

Answer to Today is Major Tom's birthday and we are having a party. Would you like to come and help us celebrate? He really needs to know we care about him on this, his special day.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:30:31 -0800

Today is Major Tom's birthday and we are having a party. Would you like to come and help us celebrate? He really needs to know we care about him on this, his special day.

Sure. When will the "crumb" cake be served?

Answer to What is a good name for a biracial (black/white) baby boy?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:21:42 -0800

What is a good name for a biracial (black/white) baby boy?

Jackson Michael Jefferson

Answer to Why do teenagers have sex?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:20:06 -0800

Why do teenagers have sex?

They outgrew toys at age 13. They found out that they were their own toys when they reached puberty.

Answer to Are you any good?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:18:32 -0800

Are you any good?

Actually, I'm starting to get a little bit stale. My expiration date reads 2007.

Answer to Should the use of sockpuppets be banned entirely?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:30:41 -0800

Should the use of sockpuppets be banned entirely?

Especially now. Sockpuppet accounts always seem to intensify drama on AB. Killing those accounts will make AB or more peaceful place.

Answer to Whats the best way to to make someone stop talking?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:27:30 -0800

Whats the best way to to make someone stop talking?

Gooose em when they are in the middle of a sentence.

Answer to What is a good comeback when somebody says "your terrible at basketball?"

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:17:19 -0800

What is a good comeback when somebody says "your terrible at basketball?"

I still get more booty than you do.

Answer to HOW DO I GET A GUY TO DATE ME IF WE ALREADY HAD SEX?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:13:29 -0800

HOW DO I GET A GUY TO DATE ME IF WE ALREADY HAD SEX?

Just ask for seconds.

Answer to If you could pause time, when would you pause and why?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:11:13 -0800

If you could pause time, when would you pause and why?

I would want to freeze the time when my boss got caught with her pants down.

Answer to What is Superman's real name?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:08:52 -0800

What is Superman's real name?

Kao Pectate or something that sounds similar to that.

Answer to What makes people attracted towards things they say they HATE like a perverse sickness of the mind?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:58:12 -0800

What makes people attracted towards things they say they HATE like a perverse sickness of the mind?

I think the kinky subconscious part of their minds keeps getting in their way.

Answer to How many points do you need to level up at the moment?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:55:57 -0800

How many points do you need to level up at the moment?

3141 pts until level 87.

Answer to You're taking me to a restaurant called _______. What is the name of the restaurant?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:45:48 -0800

You're taking me to a restaurant called _______. What is the name of the restaurant?

Hooters

Answer to Chicken___________?What's the first thing you think of?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:44:04 -0800

Chicken___________?What's the first thing you think of?

dumplings

Answer to Do you love Bobby?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:43:00 -0800

Do you love Bobby?

I most certainly do. I used to call my late wife, Roberta, Bobby.

Answer to Whens the last time someone said I love you to you

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:16:27 -0800

Whens the last time someone said I love you to you

July 20th of this year. That was the day when my wife passed away.

Answer to Everywhere I go ___________

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:09:44 -0800

Everywhere I go ___________

... my dog follows after me.

Answer to What's the next movie you're planning on seeing?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:08:13 -0800

What's the next movie you're planning on seeing?

"For Whom The Bell Tolls" I think it would make very appropriate viewing for this Veterans' Day.

Answer to The last time you used flour, what were you making?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:05:31 -0800

The last time you used flour, what were you making?

Home made stew. I always dip the stew meat in flour before I brown it up.

Answer to What's the best thing and worst thing about the human mind?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:04:07 -0800

What's the best thing and worst thing about the human mind?

Best thing = the ability to think creatively Worst thing= limited capacity

Answer to What are you doing for Veteran's Day 2009?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:00:57 -0800

What are you doing for Veteran's Day 2009?

I'm still trying to figure what the "magical mystery flight" is all about from all the AB postings this past weekend.

Answer to Whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say "Huge"?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:57:11 -0800

Whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say "Huge"?

Huge hoaxes on AB. Need I say more?

Answer to Can you multi task?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:55:54 -0800

Can you multi task?

I've gotten so ridiculously good at multi-tasking. Currently, I am printing out a 200 page e-book, down-loading a full length movie, answering 22 emails, and ABing all at the same time.

Answer to Do you want to join me to congratulate our AB's Veterans with the Veteran's Day? Peace to your home and peace to America!

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:51:30 -0800

Do you want to join me to congratulate our AB's Veterans with the Veteran's Day? Peace to your home and peace to America!

Let us never forget the noble sacrifices of the millions of men who fought so valiantly in order to make the world safer for democracy.

Answer to Can the steel drums play chords?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:47:40 -0800

Can the steel drums play chords?

Given that a drummer has a sufficient number of drums mounted around him, there should be no problem when it comes to forming cords using drums. Some drummers are so clever that they can even play lead instrument on many songs.

Answer to Is there a difference between an inspector and detective?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:38:28 -0800

Is there a difference between an inspector and detective?

Many detectives work in the private sector as businessmen. Inspectors often belong to governmental law enforcement agencies.

Answer to What is something you might find in a desk drawer?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:36:30 -0800

What is something you might find in a desk drawer?

Serial numbers for computer add-ons.

Answer to Is ugliness also in the eye of the beholder?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:35:11 -0800

Is ugliness also in the eye of the beholder?

Yes, and sometimes ugly can be very interesting.

Answer to Do you think it is sexy to sometimes see an attractive woman not wearing a bra?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:33:56 -0800

Do you think it is sexy to sometimes see an attractive woman not wearing a bra?

There's nothing like the real things. An occasional eyefull from time to time never did me any harm.

Answer to Who is the greatest person who ever lived? The person who has the most written about them?(i know its hard to judge but tell me what you think

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:09:41 -0800

Who is the greatest person who ever lived? The person who has the most written about them?(i know its hard to judge but tell me what you think

Ghandi

Answer to Are all wars fought due to religious differences?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:08:55 -0800

Are all wars fought due to religious differences?

Most of the wars that I have studied usually involved the legitimacy over the ownership of certain lands. The wars over religious differences usually turned into never-ending civil wars. The defeated populace, who had another religion imposed upon them against their free will, would fight...

Answer to Do all religions breed hate.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:49:19 -0800

Do all religions breed hate.

Only the religions that have a lot of empty pews in their houses of worship.

Answer to Name a word that starts with the letter P.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:47:30 -0800

Name a word that starts with the letter P.

Persnickety

Answer to Please give me a good example of complete lunacy

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:00:30 -0800

Please give me a good example of complete lunacy

Taking medicine for diabetes with water glasses of pure scotch.

Answer to Have you ever dreamed of moving to New Zealand?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:58:29 -0800

Have you ever dreamed of moving to New Zealand?

I just never had the "zeal" for doing anything like that.

Answer to How would you describe your youth in three words?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:56:52 -0800

How would you describe your youth in three words?

Whimpering fat kid

Answer to What's it called when you're afraid to use the telephone?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:56:10 -0800

What's it called when you're afraid to use the telephone?

Being allergic to bill collectors.

Answer to What do they call person that love's to create drama?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:55:06 -0800

What do they call person that love's to create drama?

Shakespearean wannabes.

Answer to Do you like (or even recognize) the smell of lamb cooking?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:16:08 -0800

Do you like (or even recognize) the smell of lamb cooking?

I like the smell of lamb cooking because I eat it so infrequently. Most restaurants in my area hardly ever prepare lamb meals.

Answer to Name something you shake before using?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:12:47 -0800

Name something you shake before using?

A vodka Martini

Answer to Drinking something hot on a hot day: does it keep you cool?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:11:17 -0800

Drinking something hot on a hot day: does it keep you cool?

Drinking five cups of coffee on a hot day certainly keeps me well hydrated. Whether the beverage is hot or cold isn't of much importance. The important thing to worry about in hot weather is dehydration.

Answer to What is the last thing you "spit out"?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:26:49 -0800

What is the last thing you "spit out"?

My anger about how people don't seem to want me around any more. It's almost as if I have turned into a symbol of sadness since I became a widower.

Answer to I am yawning alot in office. pls advice what to do

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:47:03 -0800

I am yawning alot in office. pls advice what to do

Keep a jug of Dewars Preferred scotch in your top desk and an occasional swig will do you fine.

Answer to Did you have wedding planner plan your wedding?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:02:59 -0800

Did you have wedding planner plan your wedding?

Hell no. I just did everything the way my wife wanted it to be. It was her second marriage and my first. Experience rules.

Answer to Could you live without a toilet? Includes port-pooties

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:01:05 -0800

Could you live without a toilet? Includes port-pooties

Probably yes. I can do everything in the woods in back of my house but I might get tired of using leaves for toilet paper.

Answer to My whole life it has been left up to the female of the house to clean the toilet!!! Why do females have to clean the toilet when we are NOT the ones that SPLATTER pee all over the place? I'm officially DONE cleaning the toilet in my house!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:58:44 -0800

My whole life it has been left up to the female of the house to clean the toilet!!! Why do females have to clean the toilet when we are NOT the ones that SPLATTER pee all over the place? I'm officially DONE cleaning the toilet in my house!

Give the guy a wide neck funnel to pee with and there won't be any more splatters.

Answer to How many people are musicians, like myself.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:56:34 -0800

How many people are musicians, like myself.

Raises hand. I can play movable cords and jazz cords on the guitar ... barred ... down to the eighth fret.

Answer to Cushion or Hard Toilet Seat?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:49:16 -0800

Cushion or Hard Toilet Seat?

A cushion on a toilet seat extender. My back has been so bad lately that the next toilet seat for me will have a rocket propelled ejection system attached to it. When I hit that red ejection button .... Varoom!!! ... off of it I go.

Answer to Are there any animals whose feces is odorless or non-offensive?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:45:23 -0800

Are there any animals whose feces is odorless or non-offensive?

Mine was like that for a while. The doc told me that it would return to its normal stinkiness after I have my gall bladder removed.

Answer to What's the most expensive thing you bought today?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:11:27 -0800

What's the most expensive thing you bought today?

A gallon of milk.

Answer to I just saw you pointing at something ... what was it?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:10:43 -0800

I just saw you pointing at something ... what was it?

-> There's a run in your stocking.

Answer to How do you feel when Christmas questions start appearing again on AB?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:05:19 -0800

How do you feel when Christmas questions start appearing again on AB?

I feel like ElFis Presley when that happens.

Answer to Do your best and ______(fill the blank)

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:55:05 -0800

Do your best and ______(fill the blank)

... punt if you can't make a touchdown.

Answer to Is amonia mixed with bleach a good cleaning solution?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:53:39 -0800

Is amonia mixed with bleach a good cleaning solution?

If you what to be suffocated by chlorine gas. Mixing two kinds of cleaning agents is a no-no.

Answer to What's something that your friends/family would never expect you to do?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:52:08 -0800

What's something that your friends/family would never expect you to do?

Go into the tree surgeon business. They still have me stereotyped as being the clumsy fat kid.

Answer to What is in your fridge?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:50:53 -0800

What is in your fridge?

Hotpoint

Answer to Why would I have dreams about unsafe elevators?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:50:06 -0800

Why would I have dreams about unsafe elevators?

Fears about getting stuck in an elevator are probably embedded in our subconscious minds. They are left over from what our feelings about elevators were during our early childhood days.

Answer to If you had to answer only one of these two questions honestly and couldn't lie, which one would it be? (a) How much did you earn last month? (b) How many times did you have sex last month?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:46:52 -0800

If you had to answer only one of these two questions honestly and couldn't lie, which one would it be? (a) How much did you earn last month? (b) How many times did you have sex last month?

Off hand, I would have to answer question (b) if you get my drift. I would have to say 0 times and that's not counting myself as being a partner.

Answer to How many years does it take a piece to be an antique?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:44:12 -0800

How many years does it take a piece to be an antique?

It all depends upon which commodity we are talking about. Some old car buffs consider 30 year old cars as being antique. Collectors of old dishes might consider 100 year old dishes to be antique.

Answer to What's something you SHOULDN'T give a bride as a "wedding gift"?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:41:37 -0800

What's something you SHOULDN'T give a bride as a "wedding gift"?

Curlers. She might might decide to wear them on the first night of the honeymoon.

Answer to Our incredibly helpful and wise friend Galeanda is now an "Illuminati" on AB. Would you like to join me in congratulating her? Definitely deserved, well done!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:38:23 -0800

Our incredibly helpful and wise friend Galeanda is now an "Illuminati" on AB. Would you like to join me in congratulating her? Definitely deserved, well done!

Congratulations, Galeanda. This achievement couldn't happen to a nicer person! I will continue to support your efforts as time goes on.:)

Answer to How attractive would someone have to be for you to cross the street to flirt with them?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:53:03 -0800

How attractive would someone have to be for you to cross the street to flirt with them?

All it would take for me is a nice BREEEZE coming from that direction.:)

Answer to What saying or word really gets on your nerves?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:19:50 -0800

What saying or word really gets on your nerves?

"No problem" does when a simple "you're welcome" would do.

Answer to What kind of dog would you never get? Why?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:17:40 -0800

What kind of dog would you never get? Why?

A greyhound. I would have to use a shovel to clean up their doggy doo.

Answer to OMG!!!! SOMEONE JUST SNATCHED YOUR CELL PHONE OUT OF YOUR HAND!! WHAT R YOU GOING TO DO KNOW?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:16:10 -0800

OMG!!!! SOMEONE JUST SNATCHED YOUR CELL PHONE OUT OF YOUR HAND!! WHAT R YOU GOING TO DO KNOW?

Go online and disable my TracFone account.

Answer to What age is an adult to you? 18 or 21?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:14:33 -0800

What age is an adult to you? 18 or 21?

Sometimes I would think that most people don't form good judgment and a sense of responsibility until they are over 30. That 18 to 21 business is legislated in order to protect minors from being exploited by so-called adults.

Answer to Why do we all have to go through hard times?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:11:00 -0800

Why do we all have to go through hard times?

I think it has something to do with not being issued a user's manual for life at the time of birth. Living involves a lot of trial and error.

Answer to What is a mature age for women?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:09:13 -0800

What is a mature age for women?

Actually it can be at a pretty young age. It's when a woman feels totally relaxed with a guy and trusts him.

Answer to (Besides sex), What is something you enjoy doing with your partner?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:07:20 -0800

(Besides sex), What is something you enjoy doing with your partner?

Playing gin rummy.

Answer to Do you know what to believe or not to believe anymore?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:06:37 -0800

Do you know what to believe or not to believe anymore?

I just go with the flow and inject a little bit of skepticism into my thinking from time to time.

Answer to What's the Best HEARTBREAK/BREAK-UP song? if possible add a youtube video!..

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:05:00 -0800

What's the Best HEARTBREAK/BREAK-UP song? if possible add a youtube video!..

Heartbreaker by Grand Funk

Answer to What are you learning at the moment?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:03:12 -0800

What are you learning at the moment?

I'm learning how to laugh again. This has been a very sad year for me up until now.

Answer to How does one become an angel?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:52:49 -0800

How does one become an angel?

Give up sex, drinking, and smoking. Attend daily mass.

Answer to What will three (3) drinks of alcohol do to you?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:51:36 -0800

What will three (3) drinks of alcohol do to you?

I would turn into a rooster looking for some hen.

Answer to Would you be a great person to marry?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:50:49 -0800

Would you be a great person to marry?

Certainly. I'm an old bed bug.