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Do you have to go over the river and through the woods to get to your grandmother's house? Over the highway and under the sod, more like.

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I'm sunny, let's share, what do you have that we could share? SPF50, sunblock. Prevents sunny-burns.

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You discover your loving, long-term partner is actually an insentient robot simulation. Deal-breaker, or relationship challenge? Relationship perk! Just think with a few minor program adjustments he would be the PERFECT man!

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For those ABers who use "profane" words: Are they for puncuation, for emphasis or is it a habitual kinda thing? ;-) Just for fucking fun.

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What do you do when you are happy? Pretty much the same thing I do when I'm blue...LAUGH

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Do you look your age? Yes, but I never act it :)

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What would you say when you walk in on someone having sex? Ummm...when you are done there there's cold beer in the fridge and the dog biscuits are in the cupboard.

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If you went to a club one night and it was packed with animals from the Safari, would you stay or leave? (Tigers are in the VIP, hippos and pandas are bumping and grinding on the dance floor, a giraffe is the dj, baboons are dancing up on the poles, etc) I was willing to stay right up until you got to the baboons on poles. I'd throw up and waste all that lovely alcohol, for sure. http://eriksez.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/baboon_ass2.jpg

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Why do women often say one thing and mean another? It's confusing for us guys. We don't think you men can handle the truth ;)

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If Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse got into a fight, who would win? Disney Animation and Warner Brothers... with profits from pay-per-view fight coverage in the millions.

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Have you bought your Christmas tree yet? Oh hell no. Rule around here is I don't want to see or think about Christmas until Thanksgiving is over and the dishes are done.

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Man walks up to dead body surrounded by wood shavings.. He finds wood shaving is hin pocket as well? He then realizes that his wish has come true and he is a REAL boy now. Alas, he is also a murderer! The End.

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I didn't find em yet... did you? Oh happy day, I did! :)

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How do you know thine enemy? Do you? How do I know them? Let me count the ways. 36 ways to Sunday.

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What the last thing you want to be doing when you hear someone say "oops!" Undergoing brain surgery.

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If I shoot a Bigfoot, and cook some Bigfoot meat up, will you try it with me? Sure, I'll even bring along my special Loch Ness Monster Pie for dessert.

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WWAED? (What would Auntie Em Do?) Put on her apron, let down her hair, and kick that Wicked Witch's ass and scatter her flying monkeys.

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4 words you never want to hear? Come identify the body.

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What are you saving for? A rainy day.

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Animal people are kinder people. agree or disagree? Agree, unless they are extremists who will cut your throat to save a lab rat.

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What one type of gun has killed more people than any other? A loaded one.

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I have a duck that thinks it is a turkey, how do i make it be a duck again? That's a tough case to Quack. Can you afford a big bill?

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What do you say to taking chances? Just do it.

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What will the racists think, if Obama is elected and becomes one of the greatest presidents in US history? Racists are notoriously resistant to change. So I suspect they will say "We should have never taught them how to read"

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If you don't believe in Jesus, do you celebrate Christmas? Why? What do you tell your children about the holiday? I don't believe and yes, I celebrate. Because it is about family to me. I tell my kids "guess what kids, Santa came to the heathens house!!! It's silly to act like the holiday season is only a christian one.

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Do you have divorced parents? No they aren't.

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What is a group of foxes called Ladies Night

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Do you think you have a good senses of humor? I like to think so.

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Mix 2 animals together and give me the name. Ex: Chimpanzaroo (chimp and kangaroo) Zephant. Zebra + elephant

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What type of an animal is a nag? The kind they grind up for dog food. Coincidence? I think not.

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Is it bear hunting season? Is Momma Bear caught in a trap? I mean she's just disappeared. If she's been bagged it was out of season and I hope they arrest the trapper.

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How many of your imaginary friends are still playing with you? All of them. See?

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How can i get my s/o to understand that i have no "romantic" feelings for my kids' father but that the reason i am so upset over his death is due to the fear i've had of him since we parted ways?(the relationship was extemely abusive) To me explaining it would be to justify an immature and unjustified reaction on your s/o's part. Of course you are upset. If for no other reason than your children have lost their biological father. A loss that they will feel no matter what the circumstances were. Having to reassure an adult that there is no threat in you being upset about your feelings for a dead man makes me...

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Would you say that some here on AB deliberately ask a question that they disagree with so they can argue the point with you when you agree with it? If I say yes are we gonna go a few rounds?

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Why won't you conform? The *rewards* aren't worth the price you pay.

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Why do women say they found the man of their dreams and then spend the rest of their lives trying to change him? Cause they have been dreaming of changing a man all their lives.

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Do you truthfulley tell your age when a stranger asks? Yes, right after they show me their badge. The only stranger that needs to know that is the po po.

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Think of another ending than the original: When life gives you lemons _________________. make lemon poundcake

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Do you think you deserve some of the downrates you've received? No doubt

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If someone uses personal information against you on AB, who is at fault? Could the "victim" of these attacks be at fault for giving up such personal information? That sounds a bit like saying the girl in the hot dress was asking to be raped.

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How would you describe a downrate in one word? Pointless

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What do you consider inconvenient? Time "saving" devices like PDA's. A calendar and a pen are much faster and rarely lose your data.

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What is your favorite pig out food! Hot French bread...ummmmm, carbies

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Do you think women with equal financial powers, are less corrupt then men? No. I think if you are corrupt, you are corrupt. Regardless of your genitalia.

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I'm back!!! Did you miss me? I didn't know you were gone. I was gone too and just got back today! Hi welcome back.

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Do you fully trust anyone? Answer honestly. Yes, a few people.

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Do you believe everything everyone says? No, but I tend to give everybody the benefit of the doubt. I have no reason to disbelieve until the person gives it to me.

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What do you think would happen if we lived with the dinosaurs? They would say we taste like chicken.

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Was John MacEnroe the greatest tennis player of all time? Hells yes, he could throw a tennis racquet further than any other tennis player to date.

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Is it easier to find faults in people, or find good attributes? Depends on what you're looking for. If you are looking for the good you'll find some. if you are looking for faults you'll find them. Negative outlook = negative vision. Positive = positive.

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How many times a week to you run the dishwasher? Never I had mine removed when I remodeled.

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In honor of the return of our friend punny I would like to fire off a 21- pun salute. Do you have a pun or two to share here to welcome her back? Punny, I am glad you are back...here is my 21 pun salute! 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the...

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Do you believe it is a serious offence when someone threatens you or people you care about on the internet, or would you simply ignore the threat seeing as it's "just the internet", like this is "just a website"? I do think it is a serious offense. I think that the thinking and laws surrounding this type of thing is going to change radically as more and more cases of "threats" turned real occur. The most recent case involved a grown woman participating in targeting a young girl who the woman's daughter didn't like. Their "purpose" in creating the fake on-line...

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M&M or S&M? MMM'S for me ,please. That's where I tie up and talk mean to a M & M before I eat it. You know the old "You are nothing but a candy coated artery blocker". <smack, slap>

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Do you think Hitler's inner child needed a hug? No. He undoubtedly needed a hug when he WAS a child. There comes a time when an adults gross actions cancel out any hug time for the child they once were. Usually this line is crossed, for me, when they harm other people. Then all their claims of a damaging childhood don't mean shit.

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I have a black lab that is 14 years old. Her name is Tasha.This last year her arthritus has gotten worse. Sometimes her back legs will give out. Now she has started to leak urine. I have to put a tarp down with blankets. I can't let her go. How do I? If you, who love her, feel that her bad moments out number her good moments then it is up to you to deal with that. If you can honestly say that your decision is about her and what is best for her then you won't make the wrong one. I have approached elderly pets both ways. Some I have had to have put down because I could see that their lives had become about only pain. No appetite,...

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When you walk along the street, do men turn their heads to look at you? Yes, thank goodness! Mama gots bills to pay!

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What offends you the most? Be specific. Someone or some group deciding what is offensive for all of us. Down with the P.C. patrol!

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Wherest be boobettes? They be-est at the meeting of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

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My crush reported me for something to my manager that's a pretty serious violation of company policy, and I really could have been fired for it. I know I was wrong for doing it, but is there any chance he likes me despite almost getting me fired? What? Your crush would like you to be working somewhere else and did what he could to bring that about. That should tell you something. Sorry, move on.

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You say i have a yeast infection and need to go to the doctor but i am really scared. i don't no wat to do im scared to tell my mum coz im really embarrased. is there anyway it will go away by its self? if not do u know any names of treatments i could use http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=91393&catid=652&trx=PLST-0-CAT&trxp1=652&trxp2=91393&trxp3=1&trxp4=0&btrx=BUY-PLST-0-CAT This is what you are looking for in the drugstore.

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My ex-wife has possession of videotapes of my children's late mother. She refuses to turn them over to me unless I pay her $1,000. Do I have any legal recourse to reclaim my property? We have been divorced almost two years. Write her a personal check. Pick up the tapes. Drive to the bank and place a stop payment on the check. Cheesy yes. Exactly what someone who will hold videos of children's deceased mother hostage deserves? YES! Oh yeah before you make the deal make sure the videos are still intact.

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As a child, what question did you ask your parents that mortified you once you heard the answer? Are you my real parents?

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Do you know why the word Mississippi has so many s's and p's in it. Because that is how you spell Mississippi. Misisipi...spells something else. My-sis-pie

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What do you tell a Mother In law who is always butting into your marriage? Your husband should tell her to shad up or he will be moving back home.

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Why did they place you in the Asylum? For failure to go along to get along.

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How do you feel about teens being shallow and just plain mean when it comes to unpopular people? I feel worse about it now that I have seen that they won't necessarily just outgrow that behavior. Some adults put Junior high schoolers to shame!

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When humans stop living, people say they passed away or died. What do you call it when a tree stops living? G*d dammit who turned off the irrigation system!

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Dont you just hate how answerbag opens a billion windows on your screen? Hell I thought it was me doing it! It's Answerbag? Now I'm angry :<

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At times, does it make you happy when people troll you? I dig it. For just a second I know I have made someones butt clench and their heart race! For a brief and shining moment I am an aerobic workout! It's great to be alive!

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Is there a way to put the kibosh on this type of mess? First get a very large rug...then a very large broom ...and sweep the whole mess under the rug

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I think that some user on Answerbag is a bit exaggerated, what I mean is the user who ask a question then comment thanks to everyone who answered it. I know it's good and polite but I think it's annoying, what do you think? You are right they are SOOOOOOO exaggerated. Thank you, thank you, thank you for pointing it out! Really, I don't know what we would do without this vital update on how good manners can really piss people off!! Thanks again!

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What are "dangly bits"? Provide illustration. See what happened to the last guy who asked about dangly bits?

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Are monsters male or female? Is this dependant on their mortality? 50/50 and it's dependant on their dangly bits or not.

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Why do you AB? Because it's there.

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Why did Punny leave answerbag? Who misses her? I hate that she has left, I really enjoy her humor. Punny come baaaaaaaccccck!

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Are you a protector? Yes, I am. Whether you want it or not. Get under here where it's safe....NOW!

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Changing baby in restaurant right in/on the booth they are seated at. Cool or not? Pardon Me, have you any grey pupon? Pretty gross. I have seen worse. Like the adult who sucks snot down their throat. The lovely lady with her food spinning round and round in her wide open mouth till bits fall out.

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Why the call? My step father was a pedophile. I have not seen him in over 30 years & never plan to again. He just called out of the blue & left a message wishing me Happy Holidays. The only time I ever talked to him was when I demanded an apology Don't spend anymore time thinking about this guy. That he didn't give your the apology you needed when you needed it 30 years ago says all you need to know. Chances are he is seeking absolution in his end of life. If so, he has a hell of a nerve trying to get one more thing from you. Unless you need to say something to him, I would ignore him like a wrong number. Because...

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Can there be respect without a certain amount of fear? Absolutely. In fact if a person says they respect you but is fearful of you I would venture a guess that their "respect" is respect of how you could harm *them* not your own value or worth.

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Am I the only one who deeply appreciates a nice, clean room? No, I appreciate a nice clean room. I just don't appreciate the time it takes to make and keep it that way!

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Where are the heights of stupidity? Located dangerously close to my last nerve.

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What's the best way to build your body and gain muscle and strength as well as height if possible without any of the bodybuilding equipments such as barbell, dumbbells, cable machine, etc. There are many sites that will show you body building moves that you can do with zero equipment. You use the body's own weight and resistance as your weights. http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.htm This is a good site. It allows you to pick the body part you wish to work on. Then there is a pull down menu "Sort by Equipment Type" that allow you to choose Body...

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How do you respond when someone creepy hits on you? The same way as I do when someone non-creepy hits on me. With polite and firm "no thanks".

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Doctors lost an elderly man's false teeth during surgery but found them four days later - stuck down his throat, a report said. However, the commission found that doctors had taken all due care during the surgery. What is your reaction to this? I don't think I would ever want this "all due care" they speak of... it sounds bad. They cleared all the staff or just the surgical staff? I would think the teeth would have gotten pushed down his throat during the intubation phase which would fall on the anesthesiologists shoulders.

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Are you ready to die when your time comes? I think I will handle it like I do when it's my turn to order dinner and I don't know what I want. I'll just blurt out something and get on with it.

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DOES A KISS ENTAIL AN INSTANT PARTNER RELATIONSHIP? That would have to be SOME kiss! No, it doesn't make or mean an instant exclusive (is that what you mean by partner?) relationship.

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How quickly do you take care of "New Friend Requests"? Immediately. I get so excited. I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.

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Warning, this is gross: When you are starting to get a cold, and get that clear, watery, runny nose - is there a way to stop it without stuffing cotton in your nostrils? I'm at a trade show, and can't be dripping in front of customers. Take sudafed + an antihistamine Sudafed (get the kind the criminals want it's active ingredient is more effective) works great to calm the irritated nasal tissue that is secreting the runny stuff. Antihistamine- will reduce the histamines that the body releases which trigger the snot. Drink lots of fluids. It keeps you hydrated and, talk about gross, it keeps the nose draining...

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Should you rate every question you answer? I do.

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Darwin's theory we evolved from monkeys is flawed, why? Because he is a monkey's uncle?

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I'm getting DR'd for admitting I've slapped a man because he deserved it. Do you think I'm wrong? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1557926 I see that your slap came about in a self-defense situation. If getting away or leaving wasn't an option then I wouldn't say you were wrong to get out of that situation how ever you needed to. You do have to realize that there are going to be plenty of people who are going to see what you are saying as fighting violence with violence. And rate it accordingly. If it were a man...

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If you went kayaking, and you found a corpse in the water, would you call the authorities? (...this really happened!) Oh yes and I would set a few water/land speed records while I was at it.

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What is your pet doing right now? Ummm, licking herself? Did you really want to know this?

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I am beginning to notice that someone will dish out the advice, and then be asking something of that nature later on. OR, remarking something of the opposite that what they initially said. So, do you practice what you preach? There are hypocrites in the bag? Noooooooooooooo! Oh say it ain't so! I share what I practice. Papa don't preach.

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Have you ever bought anything last minute at Walmart/Target and then used it immediately afterwards? (ex. I bought pants for a graduation and put them on right in the store) Do baked goods count? :)

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How can u tell if someone has aids or HIV You can't. Short of reading their laboratory results. That is the only way to be certain that their symptoms are aids HIV related.

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Do you prefer a massage by a person or a massage by a chair/some other massaging technology? I prefer a person. I have been goosed by massage chairs in a way that made them damn lucky to be an inanimate object. Even so I kicked it on my way out.

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I am trying to focus more on the spirit of giving for the holidays with my young children (3 & 5yo). Do you have any ideas on charity work that would be both beneficial AND age appropriate for them? Perhaps something we will be able to do as tradition? Do they have Christmas Tree Angel programs in your area? Where there are names and wishes of kids in need and you take a tag, fulfill the wish, wrap it and return it to the collection site? Even kids as young as yours can grasp the picking out of a gift, wrapping it and taking it back to put under the tree. It makes an excellent tradition because, sadly, people in need never seem to be...

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How often do you ask for help? Half as often as I should. I'm hard-headed that way.

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Were you a tree climber as a kid? What did you break? :-) The neighbors heart. It was their cherry tree I picked clean.

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In your opinion, what is the most difficult addiction to overcome? I think it is food addictions. It's not like you can just walk away from food. You must have it and you must control it or your avoidance of it. It would be like being a raging alcoholic and having to be able to control the addiction so that you only consumed the "right" amount. Or being a smoker and only being able to have half a cigarette 3 x's a day. Tough.

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How many of you would allow your daughter,sister or girlfriend to choose the career of a flight Stewardess or an Air Hostess?Its a case where she has other career options in hand too. I wouldn't be caught dead using the word allow in connection with a "child" who is adult enough to be applying to the job of Flight Attendant. I also wouldn't be so quick to rescue her from learning to stand up for her own dreams. You cay she is being pressured by outside sources. If she is ever going to be successful as a flight attendant, software mogul or an adult...

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I have my cat on a "lite" diet, but she still gains weight and demands food at all times of the day/night. Is there an appetite suppressant for cats? Any other suggestions? Exercise. Yes you can exercise a cat. http://www.catchannel.com/behavior/playtime/article_5361.aspx Here is one of many links to the subject of Cat Exercise. They eat a good deal of the time out of complete boredom. Work on that plus add calorie burning of exercise and you will get results.

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To our American ABers......which is the best foreign beer? The one I drink at the home of my foreign friends :)

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If you could make anything what would it be A difference.

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There is a man pushing his car around a corner. If he stops, he loses his property, money, everything. What is he doing? Playing Monopoly.

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What would you do if you heard the doorbell ring and you looked outside and Bigfoot and all his monster friends were there and they asked you if you wanted to buy some chocolate? I would buy all the chocolate. After all, I would have the perfectc excuse for over-indulgence. Bigfoot made me do it!

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My doorbell rings every Sunday at 9am and no one is there.. Also, it's battery operated and we've changed the batteries out. is there a signifigance of the day and time? If there is a psychic reading this, please tell me what you think it is... I'm getting the image of a ...wait a minute... It's a fast, smart-assed kid!

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Are you jealous of someone else's avatar? No. AE (Avatar Envy) is such an ugly thing!

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Are you nicer to people this time of year? Yes, they won't buy me nothing if I don't kiss up!

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Are Trolls like vampires? After being struck by a troll, I feel the need to go trolling around myself. Can I be saved before it's too late? No trolls are more like snakes. Just because you got struck by one doesn't mean you should BE one.

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Are you a cockblocker? Yes, yes I am. It's for their own good.

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I know I was there once too, but am I the only one who finds +1's just adorable? +1's are the most adorable...too bad they can grow up into -5's :-)

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What would you name your AB troll? Please bear in mind that this is a public forum. ROT BALL. It's AB Troll scrambled...which is what I would like to see done to AB Trolls.

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And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl? It's my booty.

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Do you carry around a weapon where ever you go. ( gun, knife, taser, ect.) I don't carry it all the time. I do carry it when I go hiking. I have a 22 pistol and a bunch of bullets on me. You won't even know this because the gun fits in a eyeglasses case and the bullets are in an Altoids mint tin. Gives whole new meaning to The curiously strong mint.

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What is your mexican westler name?http://gangstaname.com/mexican_wrestler_name.php El Monkey Supremo

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Would you date someone who makes less than 15 000 dollars a year? Yes, I would. I did and it paid off big time.

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How may I be of service? Well, I would say "could you take a look at the plumbing in my bedroom" but I know how that turned out last time for you! http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/504636 So I'll just say I'm good...give yourself a hand instead.

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Someone just left you a note. What does it say? It's a c-note! It says Ben Franklin wishes you the very best!

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Why does everyone think im intimidating? Cause im not. Everyone? I don't. Bring it, Danny boy :)

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Why would anyone "row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream..." when you really need to row upstream only? Type A personality. Strokeaholic.

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Why haven't I gotten pregnant? I stopped taking birth control 2 months ago and now my periods are running 3 weeks instead of 4 .. thanks Are you having sex? Yes? Just asking. I've seen some strange pregnancy conception questions blow through here. Birth control pills aren't an on/off proposition. It takes a little time for your hormones to stabilize when starting or quitting them. That your cycle has "changed" is an indication that things aren't normal yet. Give it some time, the best...

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What is "wet jean rash"? It is a memorable affliction caused by forgetting to do laundry and having to wear not dry jeans. It is the cure for procrastination. At least until the rash heals.!

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I need a name for my new puppy. It's a boy, mixed breed, very small, adorable, and feisty. Any suggestions for a name? See his picture in the answer box. Hercules

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What does begin with the end in mind mean? It means start your journey with a destination in mind. Start your endeavor with a goal in mind.

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Should i shiv my brother in the kidney if he asks me to? Hell no. What a waste of a perfect black-marketable kidney. Find a organ peddler and make a buck or two and buy your brother a drink.

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Are you sensitive, or are you thick skinned? I'm very sensitive about my thick skin. Please don't poke fun at it.

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What if men were the ones who got pregnant instead of women You would never again hear "but baby I don't want anything between us. I want to feel you close to me". or men saying Jerry, that ain't my baby, she jus a ho trying to trap me.

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You are walking down the street. On the footpath you find a ____ and pick it up. What would YOU rather find?: 1. 5 dollars 2. A mobile phone SIM card 3. Movie tickets 4. An awesome necklace or bracelet (No Jewels) WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Movie tickets.

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Do you always want a violent death for villains in the movies? I do! Yes. My favorite is the suspense movies where the good guy is really the bad guy and nobody knows it until the last minute. You learn it at the last second and while you are still processing the shock the victim fires the killing shot.

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Isn't it like a huge big collective date we are all having by answering questions here? Getting to know eachother, likes dislikes, little habits, etc...? Getting along with people, others not... Sort of. It's like a blind date that stays vision impaired. Is that really a tall, dark, young doctor? Or a short, pasty, old creep wanting to play doctor? That's why I keep things friendly and above the waist!

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Is it wrong to love yourself? If loving me is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

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Do you agree that american politics should be a matter for the americans only? Oh, absolutely since nothing we do here in America impacts the rest of the world! NOT. Gotta take the good with the bad...be in a position to impact other countries and you are going to have other countries wanting a voice in American decisions AND decision makers. It's only fair.

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I found out that my bf cheated,when I confronted him,he says that me & him are gonna stay together no matter what,he also said that he is gonna kiss & sleep w/ other girls,& said that Im not allow to even talk to other guys,dont know what 2 do,any advice? RUN don't walk to your nearest exit. What you have just heard is not only his statement of intent to cheat on you...in your face. It was also his TEST to see just how far he can go and still have you there to take it. If you didn't walk out then he has gotten the green light on any manner of horrendous behaviors. Who knows what he will do to you next? RUN!

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My best friend's wife asked me while he was out of town, to come over and snake her pipes, there was a problem in the bedroom lavatory. One thing led to another and now I feel guilty. What should I do? Let this be a lesson to all. Snaking your best friend's wife's pipes will only lead to sewage.

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Are you smart or average? I'm smart enough to know that I don't know just how smart the "average" is. So I say, YES. Final Answer.

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Perhaps I'm paranoid, but have you ever thought that if you read through a user's every question, comment and answer you could put together a very detailed profile of who they really are? I think that you could. I also think the person you do this to would have a strong case for cyber-stalking charges if you should use this information to harrass them. There are more and more cases dealing with this every day.

| 9 people like this

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Do you believe in anything, or anyone 100%? Yes. Several any one's and many any things, actually.

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How do you stay positive when your life sucks? I don't. Pretending everything is rosie when it isn't is surely the path to madness. Instead I realize it could be worse. That this too, shall pass. Then I get busy, very busy so that I don't have too much time to think about it.

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I chose the road less travelled. Now where the hell am I? You are at the rest stop less cleaned.

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Which would you like to see, my sword or my magic helmet? Umm..is the magic helmet ON the sword? If so I think I have seen this trick before and I will pass, thanks!

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Can you buy a plane ticket from Chicago to Chicago? I'll sell you one, cheap cheap. Step over here to my office ....

| 1 person likes this

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What is one thing you'd like to have or be that starts with C? Contentment. I have lots of it but could always make room for more!

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Is it worthwhile repairing a broken heart or should I simply buy a new one? Classics always deserve loving restoration.

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My friend was wondering if he smokes pot would it make his dick smaller if it can be any smaller :P It ain't called Mary Jane for nuthin'!

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What do you think about conversational questions? Do they "clog" up Answerbag? I think conversational questions are like bran fiber. They keep things easy and moving. Heavy is okay but 100% of the time and things tend to get a bit constipated.

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I am getting increasingly frustrated with not being able to find a non-religious wedding officiant that is not a judge or a ship captain.. and I would really like to bang my head against something... something not to hard but not to soft any suggestions? Jack LaLane's Ab's? Larry King's backside? Joan River's boobs? Any of these work for you?

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Would you change yourself to please your partner? If it pleased me, sure.

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What is your opinion of women who keep their maiden name when they get married? I think OMG, there goes that woman who uses her own last name!!!!! Quick somebody stop her!

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My aunt's cat has diarrhea,she can't afford to take him to the vet,what can she do to help him get better? Don't feed regular food, too rich. Give it an electrolyte water like Pedialyte to prevent dehydration. Boil some chicken until cooked...drain off all water. Shred chicken and mix with cooked rice. Give this to the cat to eat. Go to the vet if the cat seems worse, dehydrated (sunken eyes and sticky gums above their teeth). They can crash very fast so don't wait too long.

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Do you think there are any perverts on Ab? Rumor has it there are.

| 11 people like this

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When buying take out do you check it before you leave? No. I like to live on the edge.

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You know when someone is becoming "clingy" when... When their physical contact with you makes Saran Wrap look standoffish.

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How good is your memory? It is very good. Unfortunately it is also becoming somewhat random in the data it chooses to retain. Where are my keys?.....dead air time. What was I wearing that day in 1972 when we had an argument about the presidential election process? ..Red Snap, hip-hugging bell- bottoms, of course!!

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Would you be offended if i sent the money to charity instead of sending a Christmas card? Heck no! Save a tree, save some hassle, and help someone in need. Sounds like the very thing the holidays are supposed to be about.

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Is there something you used to believe in but don't anymore? That all people have goodness in them. Come to find out, it isn't so. Some people are rotten to the core.

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What is a good name for a dragon rider besides 'Rider'? I dont want personal names, i need a catagory. Fiery Clingons. Though this may cause some confusion in the Hemorrhoid category.

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Did Lambchop get lost in the crowd? Congratulations on your Sagedom Lambchop. Let's give Lambchop a big hurray! How the flock did I manage to miss this??? Congratulations!

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Is anyone else having trouble with this site tonight? It keeps signing me out and telling me that I have no friends and other strange things. I keep resigning into it. It is trying to undermine your confidence. It's jealous of your appeal. Don't let it get you down :)

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Naughty children deserve a stocking full of asbestos and Ebola. Do you agree? Nah, Mesothelioma and hemorrhagic fever are such a downer Christmas morning.

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What does it take to be an effective speaker-language or thoughts? Both. It takes thoughts to have something interesting/worthwhile to say. It takes language to be able to express your thoughts in a way that others can grasp. It takes spidey senses to know when the job is done and to shut the hell up!

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How did you end up like this? I was the poster child for Murphy's Law.

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Have you ever had a garden? What was in it? Yes. Rabbits, birds, and not much else.

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Anyone notice that as more fast-food restaurants come out with healthier choices, Hardee's keeps coming up with more fattening ones? Yes, they are looking to tap into the Russian Roulette crowd.

| 1 person likes this

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What are your feelings about the "Country Breakfast Burrito" at Hardee's (900 Calories)? Bring that bad boy on! Come to Mama!

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What can't you understand no matter how many times its explained to you? Selfishness.

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If lions run in packs, why don't domestic cats? The would if they needed to hunt in a pack to bring down their kibble.

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My cat's foot or hip on his left hind leg got ran over by a car I am not for sure and he can walk bearly. He walks on his tips of his toes on the left side and you can't see his hip when he walks. What could it be and what should I do, just wait? Your cat got hit by a car and you haven't taken it to the vet? Take it to the vet! What could it be? Well, a seven pound cat was hit by a ton of moving car. The list of what *isn't* likely to be damaged would be shorter. What you are describing could be a broken hip, excruciatingly painful in addition to crippling. Get him to the vet.

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Is it normal for your spouse to have profiles of him/herself on the internet without the other knowing? Oh, hell no!

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How do you usually act when you get really embarrassed? I burn with mortification until my sense of the ridiculous emerges from the ashes and saves me from death by humiliation.

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Ok. Tell the truth for real. If you are being honest with me, what would you tell me right now? I have overdosed myself on fiber today. Aren't you glad you asked?

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Why does starting over (completely) have to be so hard? Think of it as the labor pains for a completely new life. It isn't going to come easy but it will be worth it in the end.

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Have you burned as many bridges as you've built? No. However, I have suffered a few losses due to arson.

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Is the jar of dirt going to help? No. The man said the beans are magic, not the dirt!

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Have you ever experienced this: while typing a long answer or question, the computer froze or restarted? What did you do afterwards? Weelll, this isn't the story I told the insurance guy but.....

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Have you ever sat on a fence? Yes, but not lately. I learned that fence sitting is apt to get you shoved by people on one or both sides. Much better to pick your side and perform your dismount yourself. Fewer splinters in your ass thata way!

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What is your own, personalized definition of leadership? Inspiring others to lead themselves.

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Being the unofficial godfather for new AB'ers,i would like all those who are having a really bad day to take out their anger on me.if i survive,do you think i have what it takes to be a godfather? The godfather or the Godfather?

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Has anyone noticed that if America doesn't like something, they'll declare war on it? War on poverty, war on hunger, war on terrorism, war on drugs, etc... Gods I'm surprised there isn't a war on education by now. What is America? Just a constant war? Oh yes! We are the land of the Armchair Warriors! Such activists....hand me the remote will ya?

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My 20 month old daughter is potty training and when she poops on the toilet she says it hurts.But when she goes in her diaper there are no complaints.Any idea of what would be bothering her? Potty training. She doesn't want to do it on the potty. It is less hassle, for them, to do it in their diaper. This isn't to say she is completely pulling your leg. She is probably normally too busy to notice the sensations of pooping when she goes in her diaper and that is what she is feeling now. Make sure she doesn't have any anal tearing. Make sure, too, that...

| 4 people like this

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Are there secret tunnels under the whitehouse? Yes, they lead directly to Hooters.

| 9 people like this

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How do we know whats right? Go directly to "easy"...turn 360 degrees and the path you are now facing is right.

| 6 people like this

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When sleeping with your partner what do you do when you need to pass gas? I'll never know...I'm SLEEPING :)

| 1 person likes this

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What will happen to 24 now that Kiefer Sutherland has been jailed for 48 days? According to numerology charts life will go on.

| 1 person likes this

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What's the most affectionate kind of dog? The kind with an affectionate owner.

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Why do girls say boys are stupid and boys say girls are stupid? Why can't they agree that BOTH are stupid? Because what they mean by "stupid" is they don't think like the gender that the person saying it is.

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The sign your holding at a street corner says, Will______for_______. Fill in the blanks. Will you for -nicate?

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What is your price? I'm not sure...the sticker is on my butt cheek. What's it say ( Y )?

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How can I learn how to fly like a bird? First step is don't be chicken.

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What's the best news you've heard in the past week? I found out my wife is pregnant! The best news I had this week is that it is YOUR wife who is pregnant and not MY husband's wife :) Congratulations!!!

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Who agrees being an attractive woman can be a curse...??? unwanted attention alot of the time.. It's dreadful unwanted attention, I curse! It's over, I curse!

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Have you ever mugged outside of a Taco Bell restaurant? I can't answer this on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me. And if that was you....sorry about your Gordito!

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Why do we celebrate birthdays? Why do we have birthday cakes? I know the history, but I need to know WHAT ARE WE GETTING OUT OF IT? We celebrate because we outran the grim reaper one more year. We have birthday cakes because life is better with an application of butter cream frosting. If you aren't getting anything out of it you may not be doing it right.

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Name 3 people who made you smile today? Me, myself and I. I control the lips :)

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Need to vent or make a confession? Do so here: Yes! I had a good day! I was able to get done what I needed to get done. I was able to get done a few things I just wanted done. I had plenty of food, too much actually but you won't tell, right? My family is healthy and happy and safely home. Damn, it's been a real b*tch~! I hope tomorrow is another one!

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My husband has turned really cold towards me. He told me that he is done with the relationship, calls me names, and said he is moving out. This is pretty surprising to me. I can't believe how cruel he has become. What is going on? Okay we know what he is saying but what is he doing? Is he saying this bullsh*t to you but showing up for dinner every night, regular time? If so, I think you have some issues that he doesn't know how to deal with in a constructive way so he is acting like a tantrum throwing child. Some counseling may help. If no, then what I would think is that he has found a new relationship and...

| 1 person likes this

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Do you need a spanking? Need? No. Want? Maybe.

| 1 person likes this

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Are you emotional? Yes. I. am. Wanna see it again?

| 1 person likes this

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Given the baggage you're saddled with, your mindset, your experience, and where you want to go in life, how are you doing right now? I've checked my luggage so I am traveling light. I bucked the saddle off miles ago so I am saddle free. My mind is clear, my past is over, and I have no set travel plans so I can explore and rest at will. I am doing fabulous!

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The all mighty mankind vs nature, who will win? Nature. Man will be giving it his best shot and think he is winning...then nature will kick our asses with one hand tied behind her back..

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What's your usual reason for unsubscribing from the comment threads? Only time I have done it was when it seemed wise to give the other people some....umm....privacy! Comment menage a trois just ain't my thing :)

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Do you mind the kind of arrogance you can learn something from? Yes, I do mind it. There is nothing an arrogant teacher can teach you with their words that a humble teacher can't teach you with their actions. I put my money on the humble horse when it comes to learning anything worth knowing.

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What is the law on citizen's arrest? (And isn't it pathetic that we didn't learn this in school?) I learned all I needed to know about it from Andy Griffith, Sheriff of Mayberry. Citi---zens A---rest! Citi--zens A--rest! Makes you look like a real Gomer!

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What would you say to a friends who never wash their hands? I would sing it: Wash your hands after going to the bathroom Wash you hands after changing baby too! You don't want to spread hepatitis and You don't want hepatitis to get you! I would sing it like the song that never ends!

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What are your reasons for barging into a comment thread uninvited (meaning, you were neither the asker nor the answerer)? I do it to piss people off. Yeah, that's it!

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I just read that if you want to attract a man there are 4 simple things to do: Exercise,don't smoke, eat healthy and hearty, and laugh. Do you agree with this? Who cares? Do those things and you will feel so damn good you will likely have a full and wonderful life where attracting a man is gonna happen or it isn't, no biggie!

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My ex lets his current wife write and mail my child support check. She is consistently late with it, and has deducted money from it at her own discretion. He refuses to write it and send it himself. Any advice on how to handle this? While it may piss you off for his current wife to write the check and send it, there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do something about is late and/or short payments. You may have to take it all the way back to court but they will hold him to the terms you agreed on. I would send him a certified letter staing your concerns about timeliness and amount of payment. Leave his...

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If you found out that someone on AB that you really like as a friend/other turns out to be someone that you hated back in your school days, would you continue to like that person? Yes, but I would stuff them into their gym locker one more time for old times sake, first :)

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Do some very beautiful women have an ugly mark on their face to veer the incorrect men away from them? Yes, It looks like this.

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How about a big welcome home for our friend Retroglide? Welcome Home! I'm happy to see you!

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When was the last time that you baked anything? I had a half-baked idea mere seconds ago. If that doesn't count then it would be 2 nights ago. Cinnamon Crumb Cake.

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What would you do if an intruder entered your house? Exit it. Really fast.

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Who am I really? I don't know, I've only ever "met" you virtually.

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Do you think you like most of the people on answerbag or is it the other way around? Do I think I like them? I like the them I think I know. But, it is after all the internet. I think I like more of them than I think I don't like.

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Will your answer to this question be no? (you can only type one word) Nein

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I am currently losing about 1.5 pint's of blood a day through my rectal passage, this will last for about 4-5 days before returning to normal and 2 weeks later this will begin again, the passing of thick mucas is also re-current. can any This isn't a self help type problem. There can be many reasons for the bleeding some more serious than others and NONE of them that should be ignored. Peptic ulcers Internal inflammation (e.g., esophagitis, gastritis, duodenitis) Esophageal varices Mallory-Weiss tear Hemorrhoids Diverticular disease polyps That you are passing thick mucus indicates that you are NOT returning...

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Have you ever seduced a cigarette out of it's package and into your mouth? Yes, with some tongue action that is considered illegal in 48 states.

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Recently had a pleasant/short conversation with a woman in the grocery checkout near me in age. After ~5 minutes of talking I asked if she was single (no visable ring). She said she was very insulted and could not believe my nerve. What happened? What happened? You got lucky. Just think of the poor bastard that is married to that uptight honey!

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What's a good comeback when someone calls you ugly? I can get plastic surgery you will ALWAYS be a dumb ass.

| 15 people like this

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What do you think when you see a family of over 10 children? Wow, I wonder if they've figured out what's causing the pregnancies yet?

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If i said i was leaving - never to come back... would anybody miss me?? or has my small abount of time here not make a mark on this online society? You have made 114 question marks 362 Answer marks 217 comment marks 20 moderation marks So you have made your mark. Unfortunately the headstone would read Anonymous. Thought about talking to your agent about a new stage name??

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Is it abnormal to feel that you constantly need to write down your thoughts? Often my mind gets stuck on a thought and for some reason I feel like writing about it all the time will help me get rid of it. Its not like I am keeping diary or writing a book There is a disorder, I can't remember the name. It is a disorder where the person feels compelled to write all the time. It is a component of OCD type disorder but is specific to needing to write. I will keep looking for the name of it. Like any behavior it is all in the matter of degree that this is impacting your life. Too much and it is considered a disorder.

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Do you dance around the house naked? No. I can't afford that much therapy for my kid.

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If cotton candy were made out of human spleens, but it still tasted the same, would people continue to eat it? Not likely. The cost of harvesting the spleen not to mention the ethics of possibly killing a human for a snack would make this a rare treat indeed. Having said that I am sure that some mega-wealthy person would have to have it everyday for tea just to prove that he has "arrived".

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How can I turn my roommate into gold? HouseBreak/potty train them.

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While you are passing the hours away on AB at home, what is your s/o doing? Peeling grapes and feeding them to me with one hand. As he gently fans me with a palm branch in the other.

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Do you prefer whole milk, 2%, 1%, skim or other? I like 2%, I use skim :(

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What motives can you have to ask a question? Me? Curiosity and/or boredom have compelled me to write a couple.

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Does Janie really have a gun? Yep and Betty Lou's getting out tonight so it's gonna be crazy bad!

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Do you believe in the saying if its meant to be set it free. and it will come back? I do. I believe that you must respect a persons freedom to come and go as they wish. Doing otherwise isn't love it's a hostage situation.

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What is a good RSVP line to respond with when invited to a pity party? I'm sorry I will be unable to attend your pity party. I am curently dealing with all my own problems and have no free time. Love, me.

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Is it normal to never to have had a girlfriend and still be a virgin at 17? I cant help but see polls and stuff that say like 70% of people my age or something arent virgins.Makes me wonder.... Yes, it's normal. Next time you see a statistic like that...think of this one. Each year, almost 750,000 teenage women aged 15–19 become pregnant.

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What can you give to someone who already has everything? A gift that translates into free time for the recipient. Nobody ever has enough time. So give : Certificates for things like Car wash, yard service, dog grooming, meals out,babysitting And thank you for thinking of me this holiday season:)

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How is the easiest to know the quality marijuana? Sounds like you been smokin' the good stuff. When you can't string together a sentence, it's good.

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If you fight a lot.. what does that mean? You are both hard-headed and stubborn. This isn't necessarily the death knell of a relationship but you have to be extra careful to fight fair.

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Are you drinking to night? I am drinking to night. to day. to happy times to sad times to jobs gotten to jobs lost Cheers!

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Is sworn monogomy really that improtant? What is important is to honor your commitment. If you haven't sworn monogamy, okay. But if you have, do it.

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The always funny and intelligent FANCYFEAST has just reached the level of Brain! Who would like to join me in congratulating him for this fine achievement? I would! Congratulations!!!

| 5 people like this

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How can I curb my appitiet without caffine or drugs lol Exercise.

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Loads of ABers (usually the younger demographic) tip-toe around this all the time, so I'll ask outright: Would anyone do my homework for me? Please? I will gladly do your homework. All you need to do for me is to clean 3 toilets and pick up the dog poop in the yard. Deal?

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The girl in the dorm room right next to me talks quite loudly on the phone. She often has interesting conversations. Would the chronicles of the girl through the wall make for an interesting short story? I think the more interesting story lies in the chronicles of the eavesdropping guy and his motivations for listening.

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Is it true that you learn something new every day? What did you learn today? That I am taller and the tree limb is lower than I had previously suspected. CRRACK!

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Does anybody know what is meant by rodeo sex Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it? Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with both hands. Then say, "Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters". Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

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I recently started using moist wipes instead of toilet paper and I think it's great. Has anyone else made the change? Only my husband and my undertaker will ever know the answer to this.

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What not to say when standing in line for concert tickets? I'm a scalper. When I get to the window I am going to buy all the tickets they have left. Don't worry I'll sell you a couple for double the cost.

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What would you do if you came home and found your partner in bed with someone else? I'd be pisssssed. I just washed those sheets.

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What can you officially denounce today? Juggling Chainsaws. It's all fun and games until.....

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Would it be helpful if AB had an drama/tension alert system that would work much like the Homeland Security Advisory System? What level do you think AB is at right now? (Green = Low; Blue = Guarded; Yellow = Elevated; Orange = High; Red = Severe) I don't think it would be helpful. The people that enjoy the drama would enjoy it too much and the people who don't would enjoy it too little. I think AB is at level Rose. Everything is rosie for me. Green = At first I was Afraid Blue= I was petrified Yellow= Kept thinking I couldn't live without you by my side Orange = Spent oh so many nights thinking how you did me...

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My mom was a vegan and very artistic, while my dad was a frat boy, artistic, but the son of a butcher....was this marriage destined to be over from the start? No. Diet preferences are the least of a marriage. So it can't be blamed on tofurkey or steaks. Sorry to hear your parents are divorcing.

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What do you think about people who stare at other people? I think those people are staring because I have a boggie in my nose. Once I check that out and it's all clear, I stare back until they check their nose and drop their gaze.

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Is it just me, or have you noticed that when you meet someone going the opposite way in a narrow place and you move aside to let them pass first, they most often don't even look at you, never mind smile or say 'Thanks'? It's not just you. If you don't yield the space you will be surprised to find that, unlike the silent acceptance you had for the situation, you will get dirty looks and sighs. At the very least. Try it, it's fun!

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Who should make the meals at home? Whoever wants to eat.

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I'm just coming back in from making a snowman. When was the last time YOU made one? 2 years ago. It was a pretty good one but couldn't hold a candle to the one that the other people built on the hood of their car and drove home with!

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Would you be happy if you just got a stick & a hoop for christmas? Beats the pants off the sick and poop I got last year. Flu, sucks.

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What kind of video would you like to see me in? A video store, get a real job ;)

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Wow hot hot!!! Blow on it!!!!!

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Im 15 & my boyfriend fingers me every nite for 2 hours. i dont eveng get sore. he sticks it way up there & go back & fourth fast. then last nite, i almost had an orgasm. i always tell him to go faster. what does the female orgasm feel like? is this normal Is it normal for you to share your masturbatory fantasy in the form of a question here on AB? Probably not.

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When you compliment others, do you really mean the compliments you are giving to the other person or are you just trying to be nice? If I am complimenting others I really mean it. Saying nice things that I don't really mean I call that something else. Ie: Blowing sunshine up their arse. Something I don't enjoy and avoid at all costs.

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Do you own Britney Spear's new c.d? I had nothing to do with her C.urrent D. isgrace. Poor thing.

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If you were a dog as in the four legged type what breed would suit your character? Mentally, I would be (sad to say) a Jack Russell Terrier. Physically, I would be an old Blood hound.

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Does anyone have any advise on how to sexualy satasfy myself? I have to laugh out loud at the category "Sexual Advances" you have placed this in. So, in keeping with that, I suggest you. Spend some quality time with yourself, getting to know yourself is key. Call yourself unexpectedly and tell yourself that you miss you and are thinking of you. Yourself is always pleased to receive flowers and candy, give them to yourself frequently. ...

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Do you feel bad when you have to kill household or yard rodents? Really bad. So I don't kill yard rodents. If they come into the house I consider it self-defense and do what I must!

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I know I am a lesbian, but I also know if my parents knew they woud kick me out ? What should I do? If you are too young to live and support yourself you keep your sexuality to yourself. You aren't being "dishonest" to do this. You don't know all your parent's sexual secrets there is no reason they need to know yours. If you are old enough then you need to really focus on getting yourself in a position financially where you don't need their support to...

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Those of you that seem to change your user name more than your skivvies; Do you ever worry that someone who isn't too fond of you on here(personal trolls)might steal your usual handle to besmirch your good name? Besmirch me, baby :)

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Why is everyone on this site so nice...its creepy? Stepford-bag, I tell ya.

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I'm listening to a song called "the curse of being a girl" and itmde me wonder: What would you say the curse of being a girl is? Society's rules for girls. Fortunately I've figured out that you don't have to conform so it's more of a nuisance than a curse for me. I highly recommend learning to buck the system. For ourselves and our daughters.

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If you could only say one sentence a day, what would the sentence be? Hand me my white board and marker.

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Are you pets allowed to sleep in the same bed as you? Not since the unfortunate goosing experience. :(

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People say I need glasses, but there's nothing wrong with my eyes. I see words in tiny font. What should I do? Yes, but are the words in tiny font that you can see really the printing on the air bag that deployed because you didn't see the car 50 feet in front of you until it was too late? If you think the eye doctor is wrong see a different doctor. If you get 2 prescriptions saying you need glasses get over the vanity issue and wear them.

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Why do people buy gold in times of crisis as if at the end of civilization they will be able to trade shiny metal for food? Cause the shiny baubles are best for barter with the natives. Everybody knows this. This ones for O-Uknow

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If he is really God's messenger, why does the Catholic Pope travel protected by bullet-proof glass? That was the pope's idea, actually. While he doesn't mind spreading god's word he doesn't want to take a bullet for the big guy.

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I slept with him in his bed, we did it all night long, is this cheating? Did you swallow?

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Would you let your significant other cuddle with other people? If yes, under what conditions? I would let him cuddle a hot babe all night long. Just as long as the "hot babe" is an infant who has a fever.

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Is an ugly man who can make you laugh more attractive than a man with a handsome face who barley cracks a smile? I'll take the ugly man who can make me laugh. If I want a handsome guy who barely cracks a smile I can buy a sexy wall poster.

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Has anyone ever been perscribed the wrong perscription at the opticians?? If so what was wrong, too weak or too strong, what did you do about it and was the optician you went to helpful Yes. They were too strong and made me sick when I wore them. I had only had them a week so I called up the Doctor. He reexamined my eyes and replaced the lenses, free of charge.

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I think I'm going to stay in my pajamas and do nothing but AB all day. How do you feel about that? I feel *yawn* pretty okay about it, actually :)

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Should I call back the person my husband was seeing while we where saperated? She called when me and my husband got back together to tell me that he was madley in love with her wanted to have her kids she said a lot of things to me that make me feel sick. Call her back why? To give her confirmation that she scored a direct hit with her words and that you haven't been able to get them out of your mind since? I don't think I would give her the satisfaction, if it were me.

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If they told you they had escaped from the loony bin would you still talk to them? Not unless they came back to visit me in the bin. So sad when they get out and leave me behind like that!

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Have you ever cried while reading a book? Many, many times. Viktor Frankl - Man's Search For Meaning is one that springs to mind as a two hanky read.

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Do you have anything in the fridge you consider hands off, for personal consumption only. No. This isn't to say that dissapointment can't drive me to my knees when someone gets that treat that I considered "mine".

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Why is it that people always tell couples they are moving too fast? They do it because they remember the imprudence that the runaway train of infatuation and love can inspire and remember the consequences from their own experiences. They do it because they have forgotten that nobody can penetrate that bubble with words of caution. In short they wish you to learn from their mistakes. It ain't gonna happen but they have to give it a try.

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Do you have an ideal name for your future child, if so what is it? Grand-child

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If you had a choice between 2 places: one, a few miles out of town, 20 acres w/ a cabin and an abundance of good drinking water on it, but no electric. or 2. a nice house in town w/ no yard, but has all the utilities. Which would you pick? Sorry it took so long to get back to you with my decision. I was buying this nifty gas powered generator, fuel and a years worth of groceries. Can I get that 20 acres property deed and a map from you and I'll be on my way!

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Do you know somebody, who's name is identical to yours? Have you met? Once when my bank searched for my account by name I was shocked to see over 50 entries of exactly my name! No, I haven't met them all, but I have taken the liberty of accessing their savings accounts :)

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He sees you when your sleeping... He knows when you're awake... He knows if you've been bad or good... Is Santa some kinda pervert or what? Either that or he is a insomniac clairvoyant.

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Who's that idiot? Hail to the Chief is playing...who do you think?

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What is the proper use of the word "whilst"? Can you give an example? If you say whistle whilst you work, it sounds as if you have a lisp.

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Who did you have in the delivery room when you had your children? I want my mom there, I don't want my mother in law there, but my husband does.... ITS NOT HIS BUISNESS GOING TO BE SHOWN OFF! Do yourself and yoursoon to be new family a favor and make this experience private between you, your husband and your child. It is special and inviting your mom but not his is just going to taint the whole deal.

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I want to get my cat neutered/spayed (not sure which is which) and she just had kittens about 6 weeks ago. When is the soonest I can do this even though she is still breast feeding? Let her wean the kittens first. The last thing she needs is a painful incision and kittens digging their sharp claws into it. Not to mention you are going to have some pretty unhappy kittens at home crying for her.

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Do cannibals get hungry one hour after eating a chinaman? That's just wong.!

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Do you have a hard time sleeping knowing the kitchen is a mess? No, I can go to sleep but I do have a hard time getting up in the morning knowing that the kitchen is a mess waiting for me to clean.

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What is the best way of ticking people off? Tell them what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear.

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What do you supply that I demand? Attention.

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Getting your hair washed at a salon-eyes open or closed? Open, if there are no bats in the stylist's cave. Closed, tightly, if there are.

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How long do you think adam and eve lived in the garden of eda n The garden of eda n? Is that the Bed & Breafast Inn located in the suburbs of Eden?

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Do you announce when you go to the restroom at work? Yes. I stand up, tap the side of my coffee mug and say in a theatrical, carrying voice: "Excuse me, I am off to conduct a movement!" Doesn't everybody do this?

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What would you reveal to me, your age or your weight? Pick your poison :)

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Do you think rising costs in real estate, combined with longer lifespans, will result in the return of the extended family home? (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins all under one roof) It could. However, I suspect resistance to the idea will be strong. I think that is an "old fashioned" way of doing things that is better than the far flung, disconnected way we do it now. Yes, it's "easier" to not have to deal with some relatives but the community and continuity of life is lost when the generations don't intermingle in daily life. I...

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Im hooking up with a guy who has a girlfriend who is waiting til she gets married...should i break it off even if its making me and him happy? Or should i not worry about her..?? I am in a moral dilema.. There is no moral dilemma. It's wrong and you know it's wrong. The dilemma is that you know this and want permission to continue to do the wrong thing. Sorry but you won't get that from me.

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Would a vegetarian say "bite me"? Yes but only because they want to see Arti choke. They are cruel that way.

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Are you an AARP member, did you join to meet the hot older ladies like I did? No, I joined to meet the lascivious younger men :)

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What is it in the human psyche that compels someone to always have the last word? Competitiveness and a belief that having the last word indicates victory, usually compels people to seek the last word.

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Where do you draw the line in caring what others think of you? I draw that line when I feel like caring what others think of me is goading me to act in a way contrary to my own values.

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Do you have a fear of odd numbers? No. I have met some odd numbers before and I'm not skeert of them. ....okay maybe a little scared of odd number 2

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If a guy said "when I heard your voice" instead of "when you called me earlier," would you think anything of it? He's not my boyfriend, and he's always said the second thing before . . . When he heard your voice...what? It doesn't sound like anything unless the next words implied an intimacy. If he said something like: When I heard your voice I remembered that I forgot to return your garden hose, sorry! I wouldn't read much into that phrasing.

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What would you do if a buddhist monk tried making sexual advances at you? I'd turn the other cheek.

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Wath is love Wath is love. Willingness Attitude Tolerance Humor

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What's your opinion of refrigerators with TVs built in? I think if they can just put in a Heart Defibrillator it will be the perfect appliance.

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Last week my girlfriend had a fight with me when I told her I would need a pre nup before we marry. We are o.k. now but I need to bring up the issue again. I can't really trust her love unless she signs the pre nup, advice? (No feminists, plz!) And she can't really trust your love when you are all about protecting your assets. That is the catch-22 of the prenup. Even if you don't feel that way about the prenup and that isn't why you want it, that is the "emotional" message that it sends. Lots and lots of talking and maybe a 3rd party explaining the reasons it is a good idea for everyone is about your...

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Am giving my brother a lift any body else want a lift anywhere? My tired eyes read your question and saw :I am giving a body lift, want one? I got so excited! Now I sit here quivering with disappointment and sagging with sadness. I need a full body lift bad.

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Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed? Depends on how much "pressure" I am under when I skid into the room.

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What's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? What's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding is that people will KILL for them.

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Have you ever been embarrassingly wrong? Yes, but I counteract that with being astonishingly invisible.

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Have you wondered what you have that may be worth killing for? I know what I have that is worth killing for. My family. Now some people may think I have some good stuff worth killing me for. That doesn't mean I have great stuff, just that these days you hear about tweakers who will kill you for your $10 flashlight. The broken one you always forget to get batteries for.

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What name is shared by a 2007 animated film and a French dish? Ratatouille

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Have you ever discovered a spy on answerbag? What is this Intriguebag? What are they spying on? Where are the important documents kept? Can I use the mini camera thingy and wear the hat this time? Please??

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Have you met that special someone? Yes, now if I could just remember where I put him.

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Are you a good researcher? Yes, I can be. If I take the time.

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What do you think about people who stay home on New Years Eve? I think that they may have come to the same conclusion as I have. Which is that starting off the New Year hanging over the toliet and begging god to kill you isn't the most uplifting experience or an auspicious start to the new year.

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Is it EVER possible to love someone without loving yourself? Yes. Sometimes loving someone else is the key to unlocking your love for yourself. Like in the instance of having children. Loving their immature selves can open a well spring of loving acceptance for struggles and failures. This new compassion can make your own shortcomings seem "not too shabby". So you cut yourself some slack and, hopefully, you fall a little bit in love...

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My boyfriend dated this girl for 13 years and i think he still loves her..We live in Florida and she lives in Ohio, I havent had any signs about him talking to her but im so scared he will leave me for her, what can i do about this? There is nothing he can do to prove to you that he won't ever. So why not choose to push this thought to the back of your mind and enjoy your life with your boyfriend instead of sabotaging the relationship with jealousy and fear? It isn't going to change anything to worry or ask him for reassurance.

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Would you divulge the secret of any magic trick to me? I can make a cake disappear. It's simply really, hand me that fork and I'll show you how it's done. Abracadabra!

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If your child was diagnosed with autism within a year of being vaccinated, would you let any subsequent children be vaccinated? Why or why not? If I believed that my child had been developmentally "normal" beforehand and then was not following the vaccination. I would not. Contrary to the popular propaganda most of the diseases they are vaccinating against are NOT fatal and are not nearly as destructive as autism. I would not be able to look at my child who's life was forever altered by their autism and willingly...

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Is there such a thing as having too much fun? I guess there is. At least some pussies can't handle it.

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While shopping, have you ever placed a strange item in someone else's cart as a prank? Yes, but I don't recommend it. The angry man thought the pineapple was a suppository....for ME!

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So if you can sue McDonald's for being fat, and Phillip Morris for cancer, how come you can't sue Miller Genuine Draft fer screwing homely folks? You can. Please see Exhibit A & B of my Lis pendens. I think I have a strong case, don't you?

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Do you think this phrase is true, if you stop looking for love, love will find you? Somewhat. I do think it is true that if you stop focusing on finding another person to make you happy and get on with that task for yourself you will become a happy contented person. A happy, contented person is a powerful love magnet. So love won't "find" you so much as you will attract it to you.

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Do you get sick of seeing the American flag? Of course not, it isn't like it it's horribly over-used or anything. "¡Yo quiero American Flag"

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For you, personally, what are the criteria for down-rating a question/answer? (If you ever do!) PMS. Bad day. Kids whining. Dog sick. Bills overdue. You name it and somebody is going to pay for it!

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If heaven is real why not make an express trip there and end your life a little sooner than nature would have it? What and leave all THIS behind? Not for nuthin!

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What is the point of being ANONYMOUS? Should we AVOID answering their questions to encourage them to adopt an identity? Avoid them? No. I vote we just give them generic answers, that'll teach 'em!

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What would be worse, dating a guy with no vehicle, or no sense of humour? Lack of humor is the worst. Dating a guy with no sense of humor would "drive" me nucking futs!

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Are you kinky? You bet your banana, I am.

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Are you unsympathetic to obese people? I don't lump them into a group like that. They are people not a body shape. I also feel sympathy for anyone who is struggling with an issue that impacts their enjoyment of life and good health. Even those who are just struggling under the burden of a heavily judgemental mind have my sympathies...it's difficult sometimes but they still get my sympathy.

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Which is better, a blunt or a bong??? Depends on if you are talking smoking or hiding it from the parentals and/or po po.

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What's that one thing that keeps you going in a world that's cold and crazy most of the time? My ability to see that the world isn't cold and crazy most of the time. That's just how it's being billed these days. Probably because misery and peril are so much more exciting/interesting.

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Masculine attraction lasts a life time. Feminine attraction does not. What do you think? (Read my answer first). Yes, when I look at a man the first thing I notice is how sexy his seeds are. By the same token I am sure he is eager for my eggs.

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I've just heard that Santa's elves might be going on strike! What could their grievances be? I read in the paper that they are trying to force management (you know who) to discontinue the deceptive practice of forcing the elves to stamp Made In China on all their products. Tempers are flaring and things are getting ugly! Click to enlarge

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What makes someone a good person? Nothing external.

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Mustard and ketchup!??!! WHAT'S THE DIF!? nuttin theys bof mispeeled all to hell an gune.

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Do you pick up small children and spin around with them then sit them down and watch them walk funny? No, I like to pick up large children, spin around with them then sit them down, grab my back and let them watch me walk funny.

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What is the one thing you ate out of a vending machine that you suggest we stay clear of? Bargin Brand Slim Jim. Also known as vile shoestring of death.

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For the past 4 nights in a row I have been waking up at exactly 0330 every morning for no reason at all. I go to bed at different times everynight, & still 0330 rolls around & I wake up. What does this mean? You may be unaware of a noise in your home or neighborhood that is waking you. That it is happening at the exact same time leads me to suspect you have a newspaper delivery car or something along those lines that is responsible. You may want to set an alarm for about 3:20 and lie there and listen at 3:30 to check it out. Or turn on a fan for some white noise and forget about it.

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Hey did you go to the gym this week? Yes, I did and I have the aching muscles to prove it! How about you?

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Would you eat a bowl of crawling maggots for 50,000 dollars? No deal. Final Answer. The Price is Wrong.

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How do you fight alcoholism alongside bulimia, self-harm, and depression? With professional help. This is just so may issues to try and tackle on your own. Not only because of the emotional effects of these problems but because of the separate and combined physical effects of them. Especially as you attempt to stop/detox. I wish you well.

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In your opinion, what makes a boy/man a mama's boy? When he is more concerned with pleasing mama than he is in pleasing the woman he is sleeping with. That is when he needs to separate out his boyhood relationship with his mother from his grown up relationship with his significant other.

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Regardless of your religion, does anything make you more uncomfortable than a complete stranger saying "I'd like to talk to you about Jesus"? Anything make me more uncomfortable? Yes. Anal leakage at a public pool. Somebody else's anal leakage at a public pool.

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Are you tired of being asked if you are "saved" or "accepted Christ?" Not as tired as they are of my less than pleasant response. Or at least I hope this is the case.

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My daughter Starr just turned 4. Can I get my AB friends to wish her a happy birthday so she can see how many friends she & I have around the world? Hap-py Birthday Lit-tle Starr You are special, yes you are. Such a big girl, 4 years old! Such a nice girl, I am told Hap-py Birthday Lit-tle Starr You are special, yes you are! (sung to twinkle, twinkle tune)

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What should you do when you being stop by police while driving, off course you high but the police doesn't know yet? Crack the windows and let out that smoke! Swallow the joint. Keep your hands where they can see them. Don't waste your one phone call calling for pizza. They won't deliver to the jail. Been there, learned that.

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If you ran into Fred Phelps, what would you say or do? Deny, deny, deny and/or swear on HIS bible that the brakes on my car failed. Really.

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Has anyone else realized that you really don't have to participate in congratulatory questions if you don't want to? There's a lot of unanswered questions in the Science category =) The hell you say?! That was too damn close for comfort but I appreciate the timely reminder!

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How old were you when you found out that Santa isn't real? Who told you? I remember it like it was yesterday. Oh yeah, it WAS yesterday! I was 40ish - 1 day!

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Where did you lose your virginity? I'm not sure, but I can identify it if you have found one.

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Why do gays ask questions to which they will accept only one answer? Is the answer they are looking for something along the lines of fairness and tolerance and the ability to live with the full complement of choices enjoyed by their heterosexual brethren? Then I can understand them wanting one answer and one answer only!

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Ladies: Assuming everything is going fabulously with your new love interest, how soon are you willing to sleep with him? Yesterday, if not sooner.

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What is the fastest way to lose a good friend? Ask them for more than you are willing to give. That should do it.

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When is it too late to apologize? When you apologized before for the same behavior. If you are doing that you haven't learned a damn thing. Apologies don't mean "feel better about this so I can do it to you again." So it is too little too late.

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Is it all right to answer your cell phone while on a date? Only if it's a last date.

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How many times must the cannon balls fly before they're forever banned? Current estimates (calculated using the Richard Simmons/Jack La Lane theory of flying balls trajectory) have come up with the figure 5150.

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My wife asked if she looked good in a particular dress and I said no!!!! What should I do now? Enter the witness protection program, quick! I would be a back pedal-er that would rival Lance Armstrong! I would say "Honey, you misunderstood me. What I meant was that dress just doesn't do justice to your beautiful _____(fill in the blank with an impressive physical attribute and for the love of PETE you fill in the blank, not her, are you TRYING to get...

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My skin color is not the same as yours, does that matter to you? Why or why not? It does matter to me. You were my last great hope for finding a pasty/freckly kindred soul! Now, I am sad.

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If I keep taking the birth control pill will I get pregent It depends on where you are taking the pill to. Are you swallowing it, everyday, as directed? Or are you "taking" it and flushing it down the commode? Little things mean a lot.

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Do you ever wonder why you get downrated for an honest question that insults no one? No, I don't wonder about it. There are always people ready, willing and able to be offended at the least, or made up provocation so it is only to be expected that occasionally one of "those" people and one of my questions and/or answers will meet. I prefer to take the down rating as proof that I've still got "it" and haven't become a politically cor-rectum.

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Is this really life or just a rehearsal? I hope it is a rehearsal cause these are some butt-ugly costumes!

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I quit smoking 2 weeks ago.I'm no longer craving nicotine but I feel sad and can't stop crying....whats wrong with me? It's normal. Nicotine is an upper. Withdrawing it can have this effect. It is temporary and it is worth it to hang on and go through it. You won't regret staying quit, you will regret starting up again. Hang tough!

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Do you ever find yourself answering (and giving points to) questions that you normally may not answer because you think that someone unfairly downrated the question? Yes. To piss off the trolls.

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If i were to be bad how would you punish me? I would ignore you.

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Are you Snuggley or a Porcupine? I am snugly porcupine, therefore it is very important to rub me the right way.

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What would you do if there was an ABer who you knew quite well outside of AB (lives in my town) & on AB they come across as this really nice guy but actually they have been arrested for abuse and have nothing to do with their child, would u feel deceived? I don't think if I believed this to be true that I would be posting this question about his abusive self, that's for damn sure. I'm assuming he also knows who you are and that could be unsafe!

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I'm going on a 10 hour car ride. What type of snacks can I pack? Whatever else you pack, skip the prunes!

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What is sitting to the left of your monitor? Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy- Orange Ginger smoothing oil - don't ask :)

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Anal cuts for 10 months now. Been to a doctor and a specialist. Told me to change my diet, and I did. Fiber and water all the time. BM every day now, and I'm still in excruciating pain every time, and I can see the cuts now if I look down there. HELP!!! Not that I have to tell you this but 10 months is a long time for unhealed anal fissures. You really need to return to the doctor and tell them that you are going to need prescription help, at the very least. Something like a nitroglycerin ointment. Or the high blood pressure medications nifedipine and diltiazem. These medications relax the pressure of the internal anal sphincter and...

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I have decided to stop going to the dentist and optometrist I have right now. Do I call them up and tell them what I dislike about their techniques and give them another chance, do I make up a story that I moved, or do I just disappear without notice? I vote for a Dear John letter to both of them. Spare no detail or drama. Ie: Dear Dr. Eyeball, how do I loathe thee let me count the ways.....

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I have a pain on my left side when I press against that part of my lower rib cage. What could this be? Does the pain only occur when you press? Or also when you breathe deep? If you push from under the rib cage, not pressing on the rib but pressing up behind the rib does it still hurt? If it it limited to pain in the actual ribcage you probably have an inflammation of the connective tissue between ribs. It can be caused by injury, like lifting something too heavy or over-extending. ...

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What's the hardest english word to spell? Whether and thorough tie for me. I mispell these more often than not.

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On first date(went well)what does it mean when the woman you are attracted to looks away quickly when you both make eye contact?is this a sign of shyness?what about when she manages to hold eye contact she glances at your mouth(nothing wrong with my teeth I won't bet money on it but I think: A. She got flustered because she "liked" you and the direct eye contact made her...ummm...warm. B. She glances at your mouth cause she is thinking about what it would be like to kiss you. At least that's what it means when I do it :)

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Would you watch a movie about sheep? Waht about a movie about talking sheep? Smart-Ass Talking Sheep? Would you watch a movie about smart-ass talking sheep who smoke pot? Who are they casting for the lead? Meryl Sheep?

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Have you ever mistrusted your own feelings? I trusted them but I ignored them just the same. Dumb ass!

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Do you cut the mold off and keep eating or throw it out? I do not like green eggs and ham.

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My girlfriend found a glob of white liquid floating in her bathtub as she was taking a bath and she's not sure if it was cum. She's never had sex, but she is afraid she might be pregnant due to either a missed or delayed period. Could she be pregnant? Yes! With a loogie baby! What shall you name him/her? Snotty? Hawk? Patooie? Let me know and I'll have the spitoon shaped rattle engraved.

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How many pillows extra do you have on your bed that you don't use at night when you sleep? None. I HATE that.

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Do you know many people who are prone to pontificating? Do you think them pompous or intelligent? I know one or two. I think they are pompous-scared-know-nothing windbags. Which is why I let the air out of their tires. Shouldn't be a problem for them what with all that spare air!

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Why aren't women interested in sex? Why isn't the sex you are offering more interesting? WHY? WHY? WHY?

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Is there a bagger whose questions you refuse to answer? No names necessary. Not yet. I thought Q & A stood for questions and answers, not quarrel and attack. Maybe I need to get a little more testy and get me some Q&A action going!

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Why is "disrespect" now considered a verb? Cause so many folks are getting in on the action!

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So does anyone think that this site is a place where people like to hide who they really are and portray who they'd like to be? No. I really am a cartoon character living in suspended animation.

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Are you a grammar cop? i is...am No, I am the fashion police. Different organization all together.

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Gift bags or gift wrap for your christmas gifts? I try not to be too picky. If someone wants to give me gifts I think they can wrap them however they like! Oh you mean the gifts I give. Envelopes with cash no wrapping required.

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Do you think you have habits that annoy other people? Gosh, I really hope so. I would hate like hell for it to be a one-way street!

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I am striving to give birth with out narcotics/epidural.... I need advice. I had a stillbirth and i did deliver her w/o medicine.... Any help? You can do it. You will have to be strong in the face of having it pushed on you at the hospital. Just say no. Know too that the labor pains, no matter how bad aren't forever. You can stick it out if you focus on only the next few minutes, the next contraction and try to lose sight of the cumulative amount of time you have been laboring. If you went through the emotionally...

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If a woman was supposed to call you at a certain time but she didn't because she says she got "nervous" what does that mean? It either means she suddenly got nervous about what to say to the point that she froze. (Picture the actor who walks out on stage and is rendered speechless by fear of speaking in front of the audience). Or she blew the call off and is now looking for an acceptable excuse. If it is the first time this happened, assuming it is the former is the way to go.

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For those who used to smoke and have quit - What made you finally quit? Was it difficult? After being under the weather for a couple days, I lit up a cigarette and nearly threw up. I think I am going to quit cold turkey. Any suggestions? I quit because it became apparent that bitching about my health with a cigarette in my hand was really pushing the limits of people's sympathies :) Cold turkey is the only way that worked for me. Everything else just made me want the "real" deal. Best wishes! You can do it!

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A drunken thug killed a 5 week old puppy because it cried while he was watching the football :-( How would you punish him? Castration. Not because his crime was sexual in nature but in hopes that he would never father a child. A child who may cry during the football game :(

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I used to be a lesbian and at age 25 I became engaged to a woman and then I decided my sexuality was a sickness so I converted and now im married to a man. has anyone else converted? Give it a rest will ya, dorothy, anita, whoever you are today?

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You are dieing and have enough breath for one sentence, what do you say? Get..off..my...oxygen...tube!

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What's the best presentation you ever gave in high school or college? The impromptu one I gave to the truancy officer. Complete with visual aids and method acting!

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Have you ever felt like you were standing on the shoulders of giants? No, but I have felt like I stepped on the tit of a troll.

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Would you ever date and/or marry someone your parnets didn't like? Why not? They married someone I didn't approve of.

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Can you make a sentence for altercation? Confucius say Tailor who fight have altercation.

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At this point, do you feel sorry for President Bush? Ahhhhhhh........hell no!

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I was helping my boyfriend(whom i live with) clean out his storage unit when he found some pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend. I asked him if he was keeping them and he said "yeah...is that ok?" I said I didn't care, but now it bothers me. Should it? It is normal to have private qualms about things like this. Just don't make the mistake of allowing these thoughts to gather enough steam that you tell your partner he isn't allowed to have had a life before you. It never ends well. It isn't like he has the photos on his bedside table with an eternal flame burning. It isn't like he didn't ask if it was...

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Where do bad children pick up all the foul language, disrespect, and dirty fighting tricks these days? It's out there and without the protective coating of involved parents...kids are magnets for it.

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What is the appropriate way to act when faced with ones arch nemesis? Like one mean muther f*cker!

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What's the best technique to handle an undisciplined child that is not yours? If this is the problem child you asked about earlier, I would start with an application of attention that the kid doesn't have to be an a-hole to get. A game or something where you show that you like being around them. You have to invest a bit in them to have a currency to trade on. The currency being their wanting your approval and attention. Actually taking some one on one time...

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Nver had good past w/ trusting others..I trust this guy a lot but b/c of my past i cant trust him on everything & he is not the one to blame..I kno i could trust him, I just dnt kno how to forget MY past and move on.. PLEASE HELP!! You don't forget your past. You put it in perspective. You force your self to risk a little more than is comfortable, over and over. Until finally you have escaped the inappropriate caution that your past burdened you with. It will take time. If you explain this to him, he will understand if he is the right man for the job of helping you overcome your past.

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Who's name is on your undies? Hank. I hope he doesn't know it was me that took them!

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Any women want to cop to ENJOYING jackass? no, not me, or i, or any of my personalities... I can quote parts of it from memory. I think it is a scream. Wasabi up the nose? Hahahahha. Whitey tightie bungee jumping? hahahahha. Bottle Rocket in the butt?. hahahhahaha Yes, I enjoyed it and last I checked I'm a girl.

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How much would you pay someone who fed your fish when you were away on vacation? I had a boy feed my fish for a week and I don't know what to pay him. If it were me, I would throw the kid a $20. Of course that is why I have neighborhood kids praying I will vacation soon!

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What is the purpose of open bra's? photo in answer. For the gals that want their nipples to show but not below the waistband of their shirt?

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Can you make a sentence for apace? I can, but I am not available to take the test for you on Friday!

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What gets real old, real fast? New and Improved!

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Can you make a sentence for ambling? The race car was racing and the ambulance was ambling. Turn this one in, I dare you!

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Ok i think a lot of men will thank me for asking this...howcome whenever i pee i aim perfectly but no matter what it always gets on the toilet? Sadly, it doesn't matter how well you aim if the barrel is bent :)

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Can you make a sentence for auspicious? When Marcie of AB answered my question about askew I was off to an auspicious start on my homework. Too bad, they figured out what I was up to!

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Can you make a sentence for askew? The earthquake was mild but still knocked all the dishes askew.

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What do you think of stripping down naked and covering yourself with jelly? What kind of jelly would you prefer? Ooooohhhh, Okay! Prickly Pear jelly if you please!

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What is the name of your gang? Apple Dumpling Gang!

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What do you think of parents who disown their children because of their child's sexual orientation or gender identity? I think or hope that those parents will have just exactly the kind of people at their bedside when they are old, ill and dying as they deserve.

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Are you a lier? One who lies down; one who rests or remains, as in concealment. Upon ocassion, I am! Liar; one who tells an untruth. Upon occassion, I am!

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What is the best way to get rich? Pick your parents carefully.

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If a Wealthy Person walked up to you and asked you what you wan't to do today that you have never been able to afford to do and money was not a problem, What would you tell them? Feed every hungry person on this planet.

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Do you think that one day in the far future, someone will be able to go back on all of our Q&A on this site and gain a pretty good psychological profile of who we were individually? For those who have answered honestly, yes. Otherwise all they will get is a pretty good profile of who people "wish" that they were and/or how skilled they were at projecting that image.

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Can your growth (in height) be stunted from smoking marijuana in any way? Depends on which stunt you pull when high.

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What is it with women saying that they want you to show them attention and then when you do, they act like it doesn't matter. Sounds like playing games to me........ You can look at it that way. Or you could realize that women are taught to demure from "fuss" or "attention" with an "Oh, this old thing" or "Oh, you shouldn't have" attitude. It is considered "lady like". So women are caught between their valid need for some attention and being considered unlady like if they bask in it. Or, and...

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What is the hardest lesson that life has taught you? That, no matter how well you play the game of life, you won't get out of it alive.

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Do you park as close as you can get or do you park further away and leave the closer spots for the elderly and the handicapped? I park further away. Not out of any altruistic gesture. Simply because it strikes me as silly to jockey for the closest spot and then pay a gym membership to "get some exercise".

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What is the best type of air freshener (NOT spray or candles) that actually works AND you can smell pretty good? I have wasted so much money buying plugins that you can barely smell. Incense were messier but seemed to work better. Any suggestions? The "new" Reed Diffusers are great! They are a steady emitter of fragrance and not too strong but strong enough to scent a pretty large area. http://www.pier1.com/TopMenu/ExploreMerch/FeaturedProducts/FragrantGifts/tabid/229/Default.aspx The Lime/Cilantro is my favorite.

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If you were charged a price to to tell the truth, but telling a lie were free of charge, what would you do? Frankly I am usually charged a price to tell the truth. I do it anyway.

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Have you ever rocked the shocker? No, but I sure as hell shocked the rocker!

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Would you rather be perpetually correct or happy? Neither. I want to be all the shades on the color wheel of life.

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Do you care for the number of calories you intake? No, in fact, I hate those bastards!

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Other than religion-what makes a good argument against suicide? It's a spoiler, like reading the last page of a novel first.

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Do you look down upon those who try to get the most for their money, or do you admire and applaud them? I don't even notice unless they are going to extremes.

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Do you enjoy you prostate exam a little too much? Maybe. Since I am only qualified to be the examiner not the examinee, it could happen.

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Do you ever sneak a peek? Yes, and it always end with it deflating. Such a bummer!

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What was Nicollette Sheridan on before Desperate Housewives? The Desperate Almost B Movie Circuit.

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Can everyone UNcongratulate me because I am not a guru yet? I didn't congratulate you yet so should I still UNcongratulate you? Or would that be overkill?

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What are some questions to ask yourself before walking down the aisle? How well do I know this person that is walking down the aisle? I am talking about knowing yourself, not your intended. First step in choosing a compatiable life partner is to know who you are.

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What health risks are you taking when you roll a joint in packaging tape rather than papers and smoking it. Being found dead, COD?

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My friends babys head is really flat on one side from laying on it, she will not put him on his stomach or listen to any advise anyone gives her, he is 4 mths., has anyone ever heard of a babys head staying flat like that? Yes. I have heard of it and seen it. It doesn't help that you and we know this though. Baby Flathead's mother, "Empty Head", seems to be unwilling to let facts cloud her judgement. Where is the baby's Blockhead father? Maybe he would listen to reason?

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Have you ever told a lie on AB? Doesn't AB stand for Absolute Baloney? No? Shit I'm in the wrong room again!

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How much memory capacity is in a human brain? Enough to remember every hurt and insult, no matter how minor. Not enough to remember where the hell your car keys are.

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Do you admit when you're wrong? When they harness up the "wild horses" I 'fess up. The old saying isn't true, by the way. Wild Horses CAN drag the truth out of a person.

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When you first get up in the morning and glance into a mirror.. how old do you look? Old enough to know better!

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OK, parents, tell me how you feel about "do it because I said so." Do you ever use that line? Do you ever explain why you want your child to do something, or is it usually "because I said so"? I feel it is the lowest common denominator. Saying that, I have used it. Usually out of frustration and very sparingly. I almost always explain because I'm trying to raise kids that think for themselves in the face of authority. "Because I said so" is counter-productive to that goal.

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Is love a weakness or a reason to live? It is what you make of it.

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Do you ever feel like your hated by someone on AB? I do all the time. I assume that I am. But since I am wearing my "I'm rubber and you're glue" suit so I don't know for certain.

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Can you recommend a nice body scrub with a light fragrance that I can order on-line? Bath and Body Works Online has a huge selection. http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/home/index.jsp?cm_mmc=GoogleSearch-_-Brand-_-PaidSearch-_-home Here is the link specifically to "scrubs" http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=scrubs&origkw=scrubs&sr=1 Sea Island cotton is a light fresh scent. (one of my favs)

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At work, have you ever been walking back to your desk w/ a yogurt & seen someone sitting w/ their back to you about 30' away & wanted to peg it at them & hit them in the back of the head so that yogurt splatters all over them & their cubicle? Just askin' Hmmm. Just so you know the next thing that will happen is the Human Resources Department and some nice fellas from the "Funny Farm" will show up with their butterfly nets. Not that I have experience or anything. Just sayin'

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When people lose weight, where does all fat go? It goes into a holding cell (picture a little dark rain cloud lurking in the vicinity of your rump) where a few extra pounds are added. This fat cell will be ready and waiting to leap back onto your body at the first sign of diet slacking.

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How would you feel if a 14 year old beat you GOOD in a game like trivial pursuit or scrabble, ...? I would love it! I would also put exlax in his victory brownie :)

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How do you prevent a 'problem child' from repeatedly coming over to your place and trying to play with and influence your kids? I've tried almost everything else, even telling his parents. You don't. That child can have no influence on your kids that you can't counter-act and use as a learning experience. There is always going to be the "bad influence" lurking about waiting for your kids. Teach them, here and now, using the problem child as an example how to not do what the other guy is doing. Know too, the problem child is drawn to limits like a moth to...

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What are diet doctors called Nutritionists or dietitians or QUACKS. You can tell the difference by whether or not they are prescribing a pill or sensible eating plan.

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Thanksgiving at my brother's house, my mother said to me that I should get up and give the chair to my brother who is 9 years younger than me. ( I'm his older 53 year old sister) and my sister -in-law's brother who is probably 7 years younger than me. I had a mother like that....once. The sun rose and set on the son. I left them to bask in their mutual glow.

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What do you think of the phrase "attitude is everything"? I think the inventor of that one should have to stand toe to toe with a homeless/struggling person who got there through no fault of his "attitude" and explain how attitude is everything. He should probably bring along some protective gear.

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What does the saying 'all is fair in love and war' really mean? It means: I'm going to use the "extraordinary" circumstance justification for that which I am about to do. Something that I may have trouble justifying to myself otherwise.

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What are your life plans? Born - check Live - Die -

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My 16 year old son and I are having an arguement because I asked him to get up from a particular chair and let me sit there . I'm his 53 year old mother and I believe that I have the right to make him move. Am I wrong? You aren't wrong. Unless you kicked him soundly in the knee cap for his b.s.? Even then , I think you have a justifiable battery defense.

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Why do miserable people tend to want others to be as miserable as they are? Sometimes it is because they feel , rightly or wrongly, that the others are responsible for their misery.

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Which are you: the Princess, the Athlete, the Brain, the Criminal, or the Basket case? I am the Athletic Princess with a career as the Brain of a Criminal Investigations unit. NO sense putting all my eggs in one Basket, Just in Case prince charming doesn't always take care of me. Actually, I am none of the above. I am the Queen :)

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When I speak out about my abusive childhood, it helps me heal and might stop it from happening to someone else. My mother says I'm violating "Honor thy father and thy mother," since it makes her look bad. Do you think so? You mean you are speaking to her about it? It seems to me if you have reported all the events and this is her attitude then time to talk to her about it is over. It doesn't sound like any amount of rehashing is going to culminate in an apology for her part in your past. That being the case it's time to drop the subject with her and if you can't do that without feeling...

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What causes conflict? 1 Hershey bar and 2 PMS sufferers. This actually causes armed conflict, but close enough right? RIGHT?????

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Does anyone else realize that while we sleep, they live? Yes, these time share condos really blow!

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What will happen to those who never find Answerbag? They will have their chores done and dwelleth in a clean house forever and ever, amen.

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In Feb. 2007, after 3 weeks of counseling, Ted Haggard claimed to be "completely heterosexual". What are your thoughts? Wow, there must have been some magic in that old top hat they found!

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Do you ever hold your pee in a long time? Will it ruin your bladder? I have. It isn't good for your bladder and more specifically for your urethra. It can "ruin" your continence abilities....and your sofa.

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MY SON DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THE DRAFT AND IS NOW 36 AND INELIGIBLE FOR A SECURITY CLEARANCE AT A JOB (GOVT) IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN DO ? HE STATES HE JUST "NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS THAT IMPORTANT" I WISH I HAD KNOWN EARLIER Judas Priest, and here I thought I had seen every kind of tactic for recruitment there was! Dang, things must be looking pretty grim on meeting your quota this month!

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I poop about every other day, like normally. I noticed everytime i wipe its just blood, no poo on the tissue. It doesn't hurt though. Does anyone know why this could be happening? How much blood and is your poop blackish in color? If so the bleeding you are seeing my not be from a rectal injury or hemorrhoid it may be from your digestive system. You should let your parents know what is going on.

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Bad things to say when you're operating a nuclear reactor? *singing* YOUUUUUU LIGHT UP MY LIFE!

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If Answerbag was called upon to endorse a commercial product, what product do you think would be fitting? Depends. Or Super Glue Adhesive (for gluing back on all the ROFLMAO butts lying around.)

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If you take marriage vows of fidelity, how do you then decide that you want to have an "open marriage" or visit swinger's clubs? Simple, you are a liar. If your partner was also lying when they took their vows, you are a lucky liar. If not, I hope you are a divorced one.

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Do you call people by their last names? Not anymore....Mr. Ballzack cured me of this bad habit.

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Should a guy wear a thong to the beach if he is athletic and well toned? What does being athletic and well toned have to do with keeping the sand out of his crack?

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Why'd you do that!? Oh bulllllshit! Don't you act like I did it! Everybody KNOWS it was you!

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Is physical force a justifiable method of punishing children? As opposed to spanking them when they do something right??? Yes, sure do.

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First I was Jodie. Then I was a reincarnation of either Auntie Em or PrettyPirate. Then I was Firebrand. Now I'm an experiment of Stableboy. What could I be next? How about yourself. Yeah, I'd like to see that.

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Why is it considered a good thing to recover repressed memories? Weren't they repressed for a reason? Doesn't it do more harm than good? Often people with repressed memories have a degree of "memory" that they can't totally "put their finger" on why it is traumatic to them. Just hints, sensations, etc. Recovering the repressed memory often offers validation that the person has been seeking their whole life. Validation that they are right to be wary of Uncle Ed. Validation that they do have a reason...

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"When parties have a difference of opinion about something where 'Right' and 'Wrong' are subjective, the only basis to decide who is Right and who is Wrong by the tactics they employ in stating them." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? I disagree. It is tempting, in the absence of a compelling and concrete argument, to use judgement of tactics as the deciding vote. The problem with that exists when you, perhaps for personal reasons, dislike a "sides" tactics because they touch a well-spring of issues inside yourself. This discomfort is *not* the best reason for you to throw your lot in with the...

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Do you properly give discipline to your wife? Oh, he tried! I took his little "gift" and wrapped it special and stuck it in his A$$.

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Lady Alathia is now a Sage! Would you like to join me in congratulating her? Congratulations! As per your request, I am throwing money! :)

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My dog has had an erection for several hours and is in pain, how do we get it to go down? Mike Richards, DVM sez: You do have to take this problem seriously. Usually this happens because the bulbous glands of the penis have managed to engorge outside of the prepuce, which makes it difficult, or impossible, for the penis to retract. This can lead to problems if the situation isn't corrected. Often, we have to anesthetize the dog, lubricate the penis and sheath well and...

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Beauty pageant organisers are investigating who doused a contestant's evening gowns with pepper spray and spiked her makeup, causing her to break out in hives. Do you think people take these contests way too seriously? You bet their itchy butts I do!

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What are your thoughts on rich elderly woman vacationing in Kenya to be "serviced"? ( so to speak) http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/sextourism_dc It's just dreadful and disgraceful! Now where did I put my passport?

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Do whiny people bug you? Yeeeeesssss. So I show them something shiny to distract them.

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Why is it that when you do something particularly embarrassing, it only seems embarrassing to you? But to others, it does not? Cause they aren't the moron that did "it" and they are delighting in this fact!

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Why do ugly old men stare at me wherever I go? They are hoping to get a twitch of life from their trouser trouts?

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If you had to choose something... what would you say is the worst thing about the opposite sex? Their inability to become, silent, invisible, vocal, visible instantaneously and according to my PMS whim. Poor bastards.

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Are online friends as valuable as friends in real life? I sold a six pack of online friends on Ebay for $29.99 I sold a similar six pack of "real" friends on Ebay for $39.99. The figures don't lie.

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What reasons would you NOT go on a date with someone; examples; to skinney, to fat, to pretty, to ugly, to rich, to poor, hair to long , no hair...... I'm married and my husband really doesn't like me to date anybody but him. ***edit due to *poofing*** hahahah Okay, *poof* I am single *can I have a skinny *poof* too?) Reasons why I wouldn't date someone that are "physical" in nature would be; poor hygiene. VERY short stature (as in his eyes were at my boob level, this measurement is getting shorter and...

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What's sexier: a one night stand with a hot chick in skimpy lingerie, or a lifetime with the mother of your child who wears sweats to bed, has stretch marks, a little extra pudge, and a sense of humor? I'm gonna have to go with the hot chick. One funny mother wearing sweats, stretch marks, extra pudge in my bed is MY job description.

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Do you like me or do you act like you like me? Do I know you or do I act like I know you?

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How long could you be dead for before someone would find you? Minutes before they found me. Hours before they realized I was dead. For awhile they would just keep stacking laundry and other chores on me!

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What, in your opinion, is absolutely true? It is absolutely true that we will never all agree on what is absolutely true.

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What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you on Answerbag? I typed out a three page essay on the love life of Jennifer Aniston, pressed submit and *poof* it dissapeared into glitch hell! I went into a deep, dark funk, that only the loving guidance of the AB Mental Health Section could save me from!

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Would you name your child 'Cricket?' Yes. If the alternative was Dung Beetle.

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Which Answerbagger would you believe still wets to bed at night? Me. What of it?

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What do you think of this saying?...you dont have to be the fastest person running from the bear you just have to be faster than the slowest person running from the bear.? It's kind of an underachiever's dream isn't it? You don't have to be the fastest. Just faster than the slowest. Aim high!

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For ladies: do you like pretty boys, or manly men? Surprise me!

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Wizard of Oz: Where do you think the RED brick road let to? It was the short-cut to see the Wizard. Those mean little munchkins were messing with Dorothy!

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Do you consider yourself popular on answerbag? I know i don't. Oh, abso-frickin-lutely! I think it's my stunning fashion sense. Don't you?

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On the Kinsey scale, 1 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual, what rating would you say you were? I'm a 1....but Jodie Foster makes me think about being a 3 or more.

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Are you good at picking out gifts for other people that they will like? Usually, yes. It is less about being "knowing" what they will like and more about listening to them throughout the year to get clues about something they would enjoy.

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AFTER HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN, HOW CAN WE TELL IF HE HAS DECIDED TO LEAVE TEMPORARILY (NEEDS SOME SPACE) OR FOR GOOD, WHEN HE SAYS : "I'LL CALL U", WITHOUT LEAVING ANY PHONE NUMBER? You were living together and he left with a statement that he needed some space and an "I'll call you" ? If that is how he handled things I would be pretty sure he wasn't coming back because regardless of what he "decided" he wouldn't be welcome.

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So you think that ageism is becoming rampant in our society? Do you think the sheer numbers of boomers will be able to alter this? Yes, it is becoming rampant. Boomers aren't going to be able to alter this if they don't stop with the bullshit that they are indulging in to try and stay forever young. Treating getting older like it is some disease that must be fought and overcome is all too common for boomers. This isn't helping ageism as gracefully aging is being seen as "failure". Really...

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What can cause you to have a headache the most? Allergies.

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I am 40% gross. How gross are you? www.blogthings.com/howgrossareyouquiz/ It says I am 40% gross. But I KNOW it isn't accurate. Some things that I do regularly are far grosser than those listed. So I am grosser AND more imaginative than this test would indicate.

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What do all of the numers in your telephone number add up to? Mine is 41 My age.....how depressing :(

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Who wants to congratulate me for making it to level 10.(A Wiz) Im so happy that I got a level up AND a different rank. Congrats!

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Could we consider us ABers a team? Yeah sure. And just like with other teams I have seen there is always bullshit and bellyaching about who is going to be "captain" of the team and who is picked first and who is picked last. Just like a team.

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What's a cool/tough name for a vicious or strong dog? Let's see.. Involuntary manslaughter (if you are lucky) Assault with a Deadly Weapon (if you aren't) Murder (if you really, really, really aren't) These are all charges owners of vicious dogs have and are facing.

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What is on the tip of your tongue? It's...um...I've got it...it's, damn I almost had it!...it was right on the tip of my tongue.

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What t.v. show has the least plausible premise? The Brady Bunch.

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The worlds biggest diamond was discovered this August in South Africa. It's the size of two fists and is 7,000 carats. How would I go about stealing it? Keister it out of there. If you are tough enough to put that big ole rock where the sun don't shine, ain't nobody gonna stop you.

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I watched my boyfreind, who was 23 years old, battle cancer for 4 years. Through all of it he had a smile on his face. I watched him slowly die. He recently just passed, and I want to die to be with him. How does one get though the loss of your soulmate? I am sorry for your loss. I don't think there is a particular "way" to get through this loss. Taking every day as it comes and taking as much pleasure from it as you can despite pain and sadness is probably the basics. I suspect "getting through it" will look very much like what your brave boyfriend showed you during his struggle with cancer. Perhaps this is...

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I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it? 1. Produce: 2. Bakery: 3. Meat: 4. Frozen: 5. Dry goods: 1. Prunes 2. Bran Muffins 3. Greasy Sausage. 4. Ice Cream - heavy on the lactose 5. Toilet paper, lots and lots and lots of toilet paper.

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Do you ever wait for a certian person to answer your questions? When they don't answer the questions does it make you sad? No, I just figure they are lost in this place like I am and haven't found my question yet!

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Wat finger do u pick your nose with? Where is pointer, where is pointer? here I am! Here I am! How are you today, sir? Very well, I thank you. Run away, run away!

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Do u eat your toenails? personally i like to stick them in between my braces. Hmm. That could lead to hoof & mouth disease. No, I don't eat my own. I tend to try and remove my foot from my mouth quickly so no one knows it was there. So I don't really have time to chew on my toenails. I may try it later when I am alone :)

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Where do u put your bougers when u pick ure nose? That depends. First I rank and classify them. Some are keepers, those go in the fridge. Some are not, those go on the inside of a library book.

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How many lies does it take to make a liar? To make a liar what? Wash your car? Give you money? Stop lying?

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How would you feel about restaurants that have child free areas? Fine. Just as long as they have an Obnoxious-Adult-Asshole Free section as well.

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Is it true that the panda wants to die, meaning without human help they'd be extinct? I don't think the issue is that black and white.

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When you become nervous in a situation, what do you normally do with your hands? I knock stuff over and make a spectacle of myself.

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Four in ten women would rather go shopping than have sex, researchers say. ( in todays Daily Mail ) Dare I ask ?, what would you rather do? Me? Are we stopping for Cinnabon's at the mall? Tough, really tough, decision if we are.

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My life penguin, gtravels, just made Guru! Who would like to join me in congratulating her? Congratulations!!!

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What are you doing right at the moment? I am eating a See's Candy Cinnamon Sucker. They had stopped making these for some time so I am sublimely happy to have this and my cup of coffee this afternoon.

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Could an abortion that i had three months ago cause me to have miscaried a pregnancy at 4weeks It could have. You have to look at the pregnancy that was terminated as having set your body's hormones into "pregnancy mode" then that was abruptly terminated. Then 3 months later, which isn't that long for all those hormones, not to mention physical structures, to return to "normal" you are pregnant again. I would go for follow up to my ob/gyn and they...

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Would you date someone who is exactly the same height as you? Sure. Everybody will think the circus is in town but I don't care.

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If I throw a small rubber ball without thinking on the screen of an electronic dictionary would that be cancerous in any way because of the damage that could be caused by the ball? ....would that be "cancerous"? Sounds like that rubber ball of yours hit the keyboard and scrambled sumthin.

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Do you think AB is weird? Like, tallking to strangers? one of mt friends said it is, but i of course defended it It is "weird" in that you don't lay eyes on people and you get to "know" them through their words only. As long as you remember that people can paint a word picture any way they want and don't believe everything you read it is fun.

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Would your behavior change if you knew you were being watched? *pulling finger out of nostril* No. Why? Can you see me?

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Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there? My gun My bullets My pepperspray My mace My book "The Power of Postive Thinking".

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Are you saddened that no matter how happy you are it is only an instant in endless time? My joy in life is making my wife laugh and I am sad that one day I will not be around to do so anymore. No. Because I count on the solace that no matter how sad I am it is only an instant in endless time. You gotta take the good with the bad.

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Can I put a cut christmas tree in a 5 gallon bucket filled with dirt & if so how long will it last? It won't last long, a few days. Once cut the treee drinks a large volume of water. Placing it in dirt will dehydrate it very, very quickly.

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Do you like people? Yes, I do. It is, sometimes, an inexplicable fondness and sometimes I do make an exception!

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I bought a cactus yesterday. What's a good name for him? Prickly Pete.

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That's Amazing dont you think? Nah, I've seen this one before. It's all done with smoke and mirrors.

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In a relationship why is it so difficult to be the first to say i love you? It all stems back to the "show me yours and I'll show you mine" of our childhood. We don't want to be the only ones caught with our emotional "pants" down.

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I'm 15 and have a job interview tomorrow afternoon (Just found out via phone) What questions will they ask me in the interview? I want to be preapred and not stutter like an idiot :) They will probably ask you the standard questions like when can you start (always good to answer with an immediate start date instead of well, I can't start next week because I have a concert to go to...blah, blah...blah..answer.) They may also ask you a question like "Why should I hire you?" This type of question can really catch you off guard. Start thinking of how you...

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I had 'lime green' shag pile carpet back in the 70's what colour was yours? Orange. Sad Burnt Orange.

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Would you let a stranger give you oral sex? Only if it is sealed in it's orignal, tamper resistant, packaging.

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Would you prefer your partner to come to bed in clothed, sexy nighty or nude? My husband looks special in his sexy nighty. Which is okay for special occassions. Still I prefer him nude.

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Why do people hav a problem with killing ants? I step on ants all the time. I've no qualms about demolishing their hills. They're inconsequential. And I get a kick out of the idea of crushing tiny civilizations with my feet. What's the prob? I think the "prob" is your glee at the destruction you are wreaking. It makes people wonder how far up the food chain your blood lust will rise.

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Do you own any plastic fruit? No, my melons are 100% genuine.

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Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected? No, it just makes you a nervous control freak.

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How can men become more aware of what their partners want in the bedroom? Sadly, too many women are conditioned to not directly express their wants and needs so it is tough for men to know. Since this is the case, learing to interpet her body language is your best bet. Realizing that a woman touching the back of your hand can mean "yes, give me more". But it can also mean "STOP, if you touch that again I am going to crab crawl off this damn...

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Today I wipe my butt after finishing taking a dump then I see blood on the paper, what's wrong? Odds are you have an anal fissure. Which is fancy talk for a tear in your rectum. Usually caused by constipation and/or large stool tearing you. Drink lots of fluids and watch to see if your poop looks black and tarry (sign of more serious internal bleeding) next time you go. This is unless you are bleeding a large amount. Then you need to seek immediate medical treatment.

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Do you consider your body or face to be a better feature? They are pretty equally matched. Good thing. Nothing sadder than having a body that has worn out 3 faces or vice versa.

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Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk? He's the recon/point man, scouting your hard drive for his boss, Fatal Error. Who will be showing up shortly.

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Why are you looking at me like that? Cause you look just like my sister-in-law!

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Every time my boyfriend goes to the store for me and buys me pantyhose, that i need for work the cashiers are disrespectful to him and looks at him like hes a freak or crossdresser? Methinks your boyfriend is trying to tell you that he doesn't want to buy your panty hose for you anymore. Instead of saying that he is telling you about their disrespect. Skip the trauma and drama and buy your own nylons.

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What does it mean if you are on a date and your date just looks into your eyes the whole time? For me it would mean "I'm offically creeped out"!

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What do you think is worse: betrayal or rejection? Betrayal. I would rather have someone not want to be around me than to have them ,seek to or not care about, harming me by betraying me.

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Have you ever been hungry like a "Big Dog"? I have been hungry like a PACK of BIG DOGS!

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Do u think fat people r un dateable No, I don't. I think that there is a lot of negative conditioning that the fat person and their date have to deal with. But learning to like what and who you like despite what others think is a life lesson everybody needs to learn. May as well learn it on a date with a person who isn't afraid to be less than perfect and have fun.

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Who annoys you more: yourself or others? Why? Myself. Why? Because I am getting old and dotty and it's getting on my last frickin nerve.

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Do you kiss on a second date? Yes, but only above the belt.

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What is something you dread? Mornings. Especially after I stay up too late Baggin'

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Finish this sentence: I Love... Rock and Roll. So put another dime in the juke box, baby!

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What do you regret giving away? Nothing. Even things like trust, love, etc. that I gave away to ungrateful recipients gave me a greater understanding of myself so I don't regret it.

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I feel mature enough to have sex... but when i look at it, i'm only 15, and 15 seems to be a very young age for some girl to have sex. It seems very young. Not so much because of the sex. That is a biological maturity the happens pretty early on. But because of the issues having that intimacy with someone will bring into your life. Issues that are complicated even if nothing major like pregnancy scares, STDs, etc occur. Issues that are traumatic for much older people to deal with let alone a "kid".

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Would you really be as generous as you say you would if you won the lottery? Nah, that's just what I say to fool the good luck gods into smiling upon me.

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How long should one wait before one concludes that one is being avoided? Until that squirmy "I think I am being avoided" feeling surfaces. Then seek the person out and put the issue to rest, once and for all.

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A girl told me she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. So why would she keep calling me often and seem to get jealous when I become interested in other girls? She wants you to want her. She needs you to need her. Unfortunately this may just be her selfish need to have you adore her rather than any feelings she actually has for you. Call her on her behavior. As in "Jessica, what does it matter to you who I see, you already told me you weren't interested in me as a boyfriend?" Put the pressure on her, where it belongs.

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Do you believe that a man with injured genitals can go to heaven when he dies? "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD." Deuteronomy 23:1-2 Beholdeth we have found the origin of the phrase "Adding insult to injury". No I don't believe it. Why would a man with wounded stones be excluded when pervs are welcomed both in the church and into heaven with open arms?

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I am experiencing discomfort from hemroids and have no medication in the house what could you suggest? Do you have any witch hazel? Listerine? Take a warm soaking bath. Dry thoroughly. Make a generous sized pad of cotton or toilet paper and soak it with witch hazel or Listerine and place it between your buttocks. The antiseptic will stave off infection and the pad will take the pressure off the hemorrhoids.

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Do you ever lick your plate at the end of a GREAT meal? No, but I have been known to spit on my plate at the beginning of a great meal. So as to avoid being asked to share. It's a charming little quirk of mine :)

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Name 3 things that you always have on you? Freckles Dimples Birthmark.

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I get ulcerated sores in my mouth if I cause injury. My spouse thinks it is herpes. I think not because this has been the case long before any known sexual activity in my life. What else could this be? It isn't unusual to get ulcerations at a mouth injury. One thing that can help is to use "canker" sore or natural toothpaste. Avoiding Sodium Lauryl Sulfate which is believed to aggravate the problem.

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Do know what frikandel (pronounced frick-en-dell) is? Chip and Dale's nom de plumes for their new erotic novel.

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Keithold just made Maestro today. Who would like to congratulate him on this outstanding achievement? Who wants to give him a big G'day? Congratulations!!

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Fuck money.......who's with me? Is that like milk money for the new millennium? Anywho, no thanks! You ever seen how dirty money is?

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Do you think a poem (by your lover) is romantic or a little too much? Sorry to rain on the love parade but I would have a very hard time keeping a straight face while reading an ode to me. Same goes for serenading.

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How often do you grossly offend? Half as often as I could and twice as often as I should. :)

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What are the characteristics of an ABer that would make you press that "Add to Friends" button? The are wearing the all-important "NEW FRIENDS REQUEST" announcement. That's it.

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What is THX? When I use it means Thanks! I really appreciate your kindness! Would you like my watch?

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Morality aside, what book would you ban from schools so no one would have to suffer through reading them again? Dick and Jane. See Dick. See Jane. See Dick see Jane. See Jane see Dick. See Dick In Jail. Muther of pearl WHY must we do that to our children?

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Does marijuanna get you free sex Sex gets you free marijuanna.;)

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Our dog chews used tampons and menstrual pads. Is this normal? No. Normal would be for you to place these items up out of his reach once he showed you his fondness for them. Ick.

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Is there one ABer that just annoys the hell out of you? Yes, Marcie is a beeeatch.

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Ever since my epidural in july i've had horrible back pain. is this happening to any other new moms? what kind of doctor could best handle this? According to what I have read online it IS happening to other moms who had epidurals. Your first step should be to talk to your OB/GYN. There is a lot of back pain associated with "just" being a new mom. All the ligaments that relaxed to allow the baby to pass through the pelvis are very slow to return to full strength. They are also being strained every day with the twisting...

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Have you ever changed your mind on a fundamental belief due to various insights and experiences? Yes. I went from belief to disbelief.

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Help! I'm getting 25 new worms for my new worm composter on 01DEC which is world AIDS day and I need names for them. Any ideas? A thru Y. Or order up one more and have A-Z

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What do people use one of each day? A day in their lives.

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Is there any fragrance, soap, or candle that smells like racing fuel? Nascar Nectar (tm)

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Do you add rum or bourbon to your egg nog? Neither. Only my kids drink the nog and that would be wrong....wouldn't it????

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How much did you pay for your fancy front door? So much I couldn't afford a house to put it on.

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If being stupid were against AB rules, do you think you're in the Penalty Box right now? Yes and it is crowded as HELL in here.

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Do you feel safe on a site like this one, myspace, and facebook, where you can and most likey will interact with complete strangers? I feel safe as long as I keep my personal information strictly private. Harder to do than you would think but very important.

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Would you rather have a great intellectual connection, or an amazing sexual one with your partner? Sorry I would like both. Two heads are better than one.

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Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near...is it because some wanker put bird seeds in your pockets? Nah, I sat my buns down in some bread crumbs.

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Where can one get a vasectomy in the charleston region? Is the charleston region close to the vas deferens region?

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Do you have to play games to make a relationship work? I don't. If I have to play games...the relationship ain't working.

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What is your favorite Mad T.V. skit? He looka like a man!

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Why are you smiling like that? Gas.

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Do you usually tell people what they want to hear, Or the cold truth? I don't tell them what they want to hear but I do try to warm up the truth to a palatable temp. Truth is like a speculum. It's just rude to insert it cold.

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Have you ever taken any classes on how to protect yourself, or learned how to shoot a gun? Classes? No. Yes, I know how to shoot a gun.

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If flirting were against AB rules, do you think you're in the Penalty Box right now? =P Yes, and I'm wearing a sexy little teddy. tee hee What are you wearing, Trollie-Rollie? tee hee *twirls hair round finger*

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Will someone say something mean to me!!!! Your user name reminds me of Fecal. Poop, ya know? (did it work?)

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Are you capable of murder? I don't know for sure. But I sure wouldn't recommend testing me.

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People complain about the amount of points they need to need to change rank . How would you like to need over 12,000 points to go up one point in a level ,? That sounds like a huge amount but I see you have over 1,000 points today so that is only 12 or so days. Not too shabby, really.

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Will you hurry up? No. You go ahead, save yourself!

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A family member of mine just died. We're leaving tommorow to go to the funeral. I don't want to go because I never knew the man and I'd have to miss a week of school. My mom is giving me the choice of staying home. I don't know what to do. Should I go? Attending a funeral isn't always because of your relationship with the "guest of honor". Sometimes it is about supporting the living. Like maybe, your mother. If she doesn't need your support, then I don't see a compelling reason to attend. But if she does, there is no better reason for attending.

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Has anyone here ever been to the Yahoo! Answers site? I went there once. Don't worry I washed my hands after! I wasn't there long enough to get violations...I just tossed a few answers and left. Welcome!

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Do you think a lot of people have a frail grasp on the big picture? No, I don't think they fail to grasp it. I think they fail to give a shit about the big picture if they can't see their own image directly in it.

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Why are you so sexy? 'cause I'm drawn that way! It's enough to put lead in your pencil :)

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I have a dog that is 2 years old and today he is starting to get aggressive toward us.yesterday he got ahold of a deer leg and in the evening i gave him a bath then he got really cold and this morning his nose is really hot. It sounds like he is sick. A bath in the evening and him getting really cold can't have been good for him.

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Are you a kid person, or do you find children to be annoying? I am a kid person AND I find kids to be annoying sometimes. But NEVER as annoying as I find some adults.

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Who would like to congratulate me for being the expert of the digestive and urinary category? Congratulations! That took some guts! You are just the Sh*t! Piss on anybody who says different! :)

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If you had to make a bathing suit... but could only make it out of a house hold items,, what would you show up in to win 200 dollars? 2 Fig Newtons, a coffee filter and a shitload of attitude :)

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Can anyone remember who sang the song with lyrics " louie louie louie louise, louie louie louie lew i, old 60's 70's song can't seem to get the name or band thanx... The Kingsmen

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Today, Nov. 23, is my best friend, idne's 40th birthday. Will you join me in wishing her the happiest of birthdays? Thank you! Lordy, Lordy, Look who's Forty! Remember 40 is just a number....a really BIG number. hehehe Happy Birthday!

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Poll: Fill In The Blank: Tommorow I Will Be Going _________________? to see a new question from you asking where this one has gone. The answer will be that fill in the blank questions get pulled as they are not "allowed". Don't really know why, but it is sadly true.

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Why do some people think death is funny? Death isn't a laugh riot but neither is it something that we need to make even more frightening by speaking in hushed and (forgive me) DEADLY serious tones about.

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How is your 'gaydar'? Are you "finely tuned" to make the difference between gay people and straight ones? Not finely tuned in the least. I don't care so I don't have any specialized "testing" equipment.

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Don't you think people should start dueling to solve disputes again? I think that worked pretty well..... I think we have to leave the guns out of it. But bitch-slapping with gloves has some major appeal!

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Are you a Loner or are you a social butterfly or both? Both. There's an AB for that.

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If you found out that one of your parents was a serial killer, would you turn them in? Well, the legal system is sooo tricky these days. Better I should put them down, mad dogs that they are.

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Have you ever felt too tired to have sex? Yes, once. 1988 - 2007 :)

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I'm sad. Try and guess why I'm sad... Cause Gobbles, the turkey, was your pet and last night he was invited "to dinner" ????

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How good is answerbag It's so good it oughta be a controlled substance. Of course then there would be the "Just Say D'oh" campaign and D.A.R.E. (Downraters Are Really Evil) so it's better not to try and outlaw it. You know what they say. Outlaw AB and only outlaws will have AB.

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Why do men get circumcised? Cause they are too young and non-verbal to shout "BACK AWAY FROM THE PENIS!", in the hospital when they are born.

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Is oil a factor in our involvement in Iraq? Operation Iraqi Liberation. I'm thinking, yes.

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How much do you believe in feng-shui? I think it is pig latin for full of shit and they are laughing at us. That's how I feel.

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Do you wish you could hybernate? Yes. In fact I am currently working on laying on the blubber stores that will allow me to hibernate for the next 5 years or so. I'm excited that I will wake up skinny! I'll let you know how it all works out.

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Do you like your neighbors? I like them just fine. They leave me alone and I return the favor. I love your avatar!

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You are awaiting execution for a crime you committed, what are your last thoughts? Where the f*ck is my hacksaw?

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Who would win in a fist fight George bush or John Kerry? In that match up it would really be Daddy Bush and Teresa Heinz fighting, now wouldn't it? I put my money on the Condiment lady, she has a bite to her.

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Whats the biggest problem that an individual face in life these days? Happiness? Finding the right person? Relationship? Self improvement? Money? World peace? Figuring out (in all of those areas you have listed, amongst others) what is important and worthy of your time, energy, passion, and what is not.

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Invent a word for time spent on answerbag (without using the word answerbag). Toodling (typing + doodling)

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I had a rather rude person tell me that Native Americans who celebrate Thanksgiving are trators. What do you think? I think that person needs a little Peyote therapy to have some deeper introspection with themselves and to chill o.u.t.

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If you could give all those new answerbag members 1 piece of advice .. what would you tell them? Be yourself. Have fun. Walk away from the b.s. Rinse and repeat.

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What is a good thing to get an artsy mother, that makes her own amazing jewelry? A website to sell it from??

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No kidding but one of our favorite punstresses has just made sage. Who wants to give her a huge applause for making this illustrious level? Way to go Very Punny!! Congratulations!!

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Who is the singing group in the freecreditreport.com commercials? The Loan Arrangers.

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How do you think your life will be after your 60? Quieter and saggier.

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Don't you hate ALL generalizations? Yes, including this one :)

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What is the worst natural disaster in your opinion? The Great Failure of the Control-Top Pantyhose, Thanksgiving 2007.

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If someone who wasn't on your AB Friends' list asked a 'superlative ABer' question about you, would you assume that they were just out for the points? No, but I wouldn't let them sit by me in the cafeteria just to make sure they understand the seriousness of their offense!

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You live to the age of 90, and are given the choice of retaining either the body or the mind of a 30-year old, which would you choose? The body. Who cares if I know where I'm going as long as I can get there under my own steam?

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Would you rather be snowed-in (in your home) or stranded while camping in the wilderness? A million times over I would prefer to be snowed-in at home. You should SEE all the goodies I have in my pantry!

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Thinking of breaking up with boyfriend, we talked about birth control, should i still go to doctor to discuss this anyway, for future boyfriends or in case i decide not to break up, or it makes no sense to go if i plan to break up? i need feedback pls It makes sense to keep the appointment. Birth control isn't about your relationship with this boyfriend or any other. It is about *your* relationship with *your* body. Keep the appointment, don't be shy about asking everything you need to know. Don't be shy about having a differing opinion about the issue than your doctor. Do what you need to do and make the choices you...

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Does anyone else find qestions regarding 13 year olds and hand jobs quite an unsavory topic? maybe he better ask his school chums about that one, and leave it off answerbag. Sad fact is 13 year olds are indulging in handjobs along with other sexual practices. I would rather they ask here than proceed on the misinformation that their peers have to share. That's just me. If I feel they are just looking for prurient details to FUEL their masturbatory efforts (how lazy is that!) I skip the question and move on.

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What is the difference between meek and weak? Meek chooses to shut up. Weak has no choice.

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Do you agree with inter-haircolor dating? Is it ok for people with different color hair to date? What about bihaircolor children? WELLA, I think it is important to choose your breeding partner based on the haircolor of their RED KEN. You can't just hook up with any old TONI & GUY! BUMBLE & BUMBLE around and you could wind up in a MANIC PANIC.

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What type of floor coverings do you have in your home? Carpet and ceramic tiles. Both of which I need to replace as soon as I make up my mind on what to replace them with! I'm thinking stained concrete instead of tile this time around.

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Should I just not be a baby and tell him how I feel? Do it. Life is too short and feelings like this too special to waste.

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What is your favorite (or most unique) Thanksgiving tradition? Chasing my kids around with the turkey's neck while telling them it is it's penis. It's the one they remember best. Probably will see some therapy bills to prove it, someday!

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If aliens visit Earth, which alcoholic drink they are most likely to enjoy? Screaming Orgasms. Friendly little fellas.

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Did you honor your first kiss you got? Yes, I fell to my knees. He got REAL excited for nuthin.

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How many days into a new relationship before you make love? Let's see: 30 days hath September, April, June and November, All the rest have 31, Excepting February alone. Which only has but 28 days clear And 29 in each leap year. So, that is day fourteen, unless he is really, really hot.

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Do you think my mom would know I'm a gay man, if I would show up her christmas dinner party in a pink mini skirt? A pink mini on a man screams transvestite to me. Maybe your mother would think differently?

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I have a coworker i met about a month ago and we are friends now we both play like we are gay huggung or touching eachother a few times we even humped with clothson but i cant tell if he is gay or just playing how can i tell? Since you are coworkers I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you are both older than, say, four. Making that leap, I am also going to go out on a limb and say that you aren't, either one of you, playing. Foreplaying, yes. Playing, playing, no. Seems to me if you are intimate enough to be dry humping one another you should be intimate enough to say "You wanna, for...

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Have you got a satisfied mind? It is satisfied but never quenched.

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I decided to sell my home, and I have a pre-approved buyer, and the home has appraised at more than I am asking. I want to do this without involving a realator, so do I need a lawyer or just the title company? Take your contract (doesn't have to be fancy) to the title company. They can and will direct you through the transaction. Don't let anybody tell you that you have to have a realtor, it isn't so. It can make things easier if you are inexperienced or don't want the hassle but it is not required.

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Why do you think people lie when they don't need to? Cause they like it.

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Ever flown first class? Do you think it's worth the money? Yes, I have. It was fun but I would say, overall, not worth extra $$.

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How do you handle differences of opinions on AB? In this corner, weighing in at nunya business, is Marcie.....

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Would you eat your earwax? Oh hell no! There is, I am CERTAIN, a reason why we cannot lick our own ears. I'm going to respect that.

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Has anyone ever asked you to do something, where you were like, "I refuse to cross that line"? A few times.

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Close your eyes and type your full name. Can you do it perfectly? Marcie can do it perfectly. She is a touch typist. She needed to be for her job. She hasn't forgotten how. Marcie is tooting her own horn. Shame on Marcie.

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If AB is the cure, what is the disease? Workaholism.

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Why do some people deny my request to be my friend? is there something wrong with me? I don't think that is it at all. Some people are just "cautious" about who they add. I don't get it but *shrug*. I like your questions!

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Who in the heck is trolling Retroglide's questions? Twelve -4s and two -3s in the past seventeen minutes. How creepy is that? Bummer! I will hunt you down and give you some points. Can the AB staff reset that for you?

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Do some euphemisms in obituaries strike you as odd."After a valiant fight with cancer,,,". "After a brave battle with MS."Does nobody just die a death that is without heroism?I don't mean to sound callous here. Why do we do this? to soften the blow? I think it is done to honor the struggle that the person went through as their life was taken from them. It IS a battle and once you have seen it you will never doubt the validity of their (or at least their bodies) heroics.

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Retroglide has done it AGAIN ... may we have a round of applause for the way she customized my profile page ??? (click my avatar, please) Wow! That is great!

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What do angels look like? Like this:

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Is my account workin? please just answer yes/no. Yes/no.

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Does Criss Angel have an e-mail address? Yes, but you could just "think" him a message. He's real big into mind reading it should work.

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How does a private plane's captain announce landing? We's here!

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What is Ronald Mc donald and the Hamburgalar doing right now? Having a Mc Turkey sammy.

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Whats one word that you know would not describe you? Anorexic

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Elderly people : wise or burden? If they are wise they will work hard to avoid being a burden before their time. So that when they do need help there will be people willing to help them.

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Would you pass gas in a crowded elevator? Only if my iron will (or my sphincter) failed me.

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What kind of animal do you think is my avatar? Wombat.

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Is it too late now? Nah, everybody is wearing their Halloween Costume to Thanksgiving Dinner tonight. Honestly, come on in. Don't be embarrassed. Here have a stiff drink.

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What tradition did Pope Gelasius put an end to? Mud wrestling. I was not surprised. Mr. Gelasius has family connections in the Gelatin wrestling field. In fact, it is a little known fact that Gelasius the Grape, was his grandfather!

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I brush my teeth twice a day and occasionally floss but whenever i brush (not very hard) the gaps between my teeth and gums bleed. I'm scared. What's wrong? Bleeding gums is usually a sign of bacteria in the periodontal pockets. The part of the gums where the bottom of the teeth are under the gumline. Rinsing with a water pik device and a mixture of diluted peroxide/water (no more than 50/50 mix) can really clean these pockets out and stop the bleeding.

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My grandson is looking for the name of a movie which had alien cats, and at the end they ambush the cats as they come out of a warp hole. Is it Cats and Dogs? See link http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0239395/photogallery

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Who would like to join me in congratulating Peterpam on becoming a maestro? Congratulations!

| 4 people like this

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HOW MANY WORDS CAN YOU MAKE OUT OF 'HOME RETAIL GROUP'? GROPE ME HOG TAIL

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Do orgasms fade with age? No, but your memory does so you just have to keep doing it over and over and over and over ;)

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I am 21years old will be 22 next year i want to know when will get married and with whom can you please give me a clue about the person who i will marry and when will i get married You will get married at 29. You will have finished your education. You will have a rewarding career, home and personal life. In fact, you will be so happy that you won't be looking for Mr. Right. He will be your friend first and then one day, while laughing at absurd art at an auction you will realize you love him. You will live happily ever after.

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Is there really something fishy about someone reaching Level 60 in just one month? No, but it is kinda odd to ask this question about yourself.

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What would you do if you saw someone standing right outside your window at night? Hope they were planning to harm me...I'd hate to shoot an innocent person. Truthfully, I would call the cops and wait. Armed.

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I dont accept friend requests (dont ask why..). Were you offended when i rejected you? I was offended. I reacted badly, don't ask how. I am currently receiving therapy as an inpatient but should be out in time to slash your tires.......again.

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If I appeared next to you right now, what would be your reaction? When you regained consciousness I would be apologizing profusely for the misunderstanding and holding an ice pack to the goose egg on your forehead. The one caused by me throwing my steel coffee cup at your silly Houdini self :)

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Ok.....I'm gay, and I'm trying to tell another guy i like that I'm gay...I think he might be gay too but I'm not sure....any advice???....I'm 17 and still in highschool, so that should let you know the consequences of telling the wrong person what I am. If the stakes are too high keep your secrets to yourself. High school is brutal without having to worry about being gay bashed by morons. Alternatively get to know this person, off-campus, by going and doing things away from school. Then you have a better chance of having your private life remain private.

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Why don't Adult Stores have Black Friday Early Bird Sales.... Hey i mean a free bottle of lube or your choice of French ticklers outta the goodie bad. Man WHATA FREAKIN HOLIDAY!! Round here, they do! The 2 for bOne sale is a huge event.

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Is there a monster under your bed? No, just a herd of dust bunnies.

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Are you a moaner or screamer in bed? Sex=moaner Stealing my blanket=screamer

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Are you sometimes jealous of some privileges your bosses have in the workplace? (extra breaks or vacations or... being able to leave whenever they want etc...) Yes. So I just plot and work hard to get promoted so I can take their jobs. So that I can become the boss who has a jealous underling who will plot and work hard to take my job.

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Who would win in humor contest ME ^_^ or you? I don't know, you ARE pretty funny......looking :)

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Do you ever use online internet banking? Yes, most of the time. I hate going to the real bank.

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When did you accept how your body is? When I realized how tolerant it has always been of the bullshit I subjected it to.

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Today is Thanksgiving in the good 'ol USA, who here, American or not, wants to wish all Americans a great holiday? I know I do! Yes, it's okay with me! Same to you and yours :)

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What is 0 divided by 0? George Bush.

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I have a package here with your name on.. what is in it? It's my stool sample and it should have gone to the doctors office last week! Thank goodness you got it.

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Who would like to congratulate all the answerbaggers that post congratulations questions on a regular basis? Congratulations to all the baggers who congratulate all the baggers who congratulate all the baggers who congratulate all the baggers. Round of points for everybody! Cheers!

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Talim has made it to Maestro. She rocks. Who would like to congratulate her? Congratulations!

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Do women actually love their man or do they just love what they can get from him? Puhlese! I actually love the man, otherwise I could replace him with a few poorly trained pets, a personal appliance or two and a dozen or so really aggravating knot-type puzzles.

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If you were going to come hang out with me for a day, what things would I have to have on hand to keep you entertained? Silly Putty Firecrackers Cheese wiz Chinese Finger Trap Back Scratcher Chewing gum Hot glue gun Roofing shingles. That ought to do it!

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Our lab/collie is 17 years old. He has a hard time seeing and hearing. He struggles to get up and his back legs give out when he tries to walk. He is constantly panting. I know that it is time to put him to sleep and my boys feel differently. Am I wrong? I used to think that diminishment like you list was the sure sign that it was time. As I get older myself and face and deal with signs of my own diminishment I find myself with a much broader definition of what constitutes a "good" life. If he is able to get up, even if he struggles. If he is able to walk, even if it is imperfectly sometimes. If he is able to breathe, even if it...

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Have any of you ever succesfully converted from one sexuality to another? I was born a lesbian but at age 23 I decided to be striaght and converted. Now Im happily married with kids. Anyone else ever converted? Yes! I went from wild, youthful sexuality to tame, middle aged sexuality. All it took was time and children to effect this miraculous? change. It could probably work for you as well!

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What do you like to eat when you are drunk? I don't know. It all looks the same the morning after.

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Would you like to caption these other images I found? (See pictures inside) Cat says "Last one in is a pussy!" Scared dog says "Bullshit, his bark is worse than his bite!"

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I shampoo with my eyes closed and wash my face first then my hair, it usually takes 5 minutes and then I can open my eyes, but today after shampooing I see a pool of blood on my bathtub, my nose is bleeding, but I have no idea long it's been, am I ok? Did the bleeding stop? Chances are if it has you are fine. This is the season for the dryness to really mess with our sinus tissues. You may want to hydrate with a simple saline nose drop to keep it from happening again. If it does start up again and you have trouble stopping it you should be seen in hospital.

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What is your secret to success that you don't want your competition to know? I just make this sh*t up as I go along. It's dumb luck and I don't want them to know it.

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Ok, what seems to be the problem? Well, when I bear down this thingy bulges out and I don't think it is supposed to do that.

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Why do we tell our kids not to take candy from strangers, yet every halloween we take them to every strangers house we possibly can...to get candy!!? We love to be as inconsistent with our messages as is humanly possible. So as to leave our kids in a constant state of confusion. Giving us the temporary illusion of having the upper hand. Welcome to AB :)

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Golden or silver? Silver.

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Diamonds or pearls? Pearls.

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What is the wildest thing you have ever done with a guy? It can be sexual or not? Raised a couple of kids. Wild doesn't even begin to cover it.

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Do you have anything in your lap right now? My fat little tummy, all snuggled in for the night.

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What to do? 3rd grader has oral report due after Thanksgiving break. It was assigned yesterday. The library has 1 copy and is checked out. 5 others are on waiting list before us. Book is not sold in stores and not online. What was the teacher thinking? The teacher was thinking "I'll make these parents so bloody grateful that they don't have to deal with me again!"

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When was the last time you used a flashlight? 2 minutes ago.

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A very Christian person, I mean true Christian, asked me not to say the word "luck" in front of him because he said it is derrived from "lucifer". Is that true? I'm all for blessings, but how do you get luck from lucifer? So, I am guessing Lucky Charms aren't for breakfast at his place! You only get luck from lucifer by stretching the boundaries of good sense.

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When you observe something evil, do you start to feel evil yourself? Sorta, but it's a justifiable "evil" involving thoughts of how to snuff out the evil doer.

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Are you a hamster (nocturnal)? Yes, but I lie about it to my early bird husband, so I am more like a roach, I scatter when the lights come on. :)

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My parents are going through a divorce and I'm being blamed for all of this mess. Is it really my fault? Who do I tell and what do I tell them? It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. How good or how bad you have behaved. You can't...CAN NOT be held responsible for the ending of your parents relationship. That is a choice they are making and it is all about them. Tell yourself this over and over everyday because you are the only one who needs to really understand this. They may or may not feel bad about the...

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What did you eat yesterday? The list of what I didn't eat would be so much shorter! I ate everything I could catch on foot and a couple of things I ran over with my car.

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Employment at Target; Can someone with a slight stutter work there? Yes. At our local Target one of the cashiers is hearing impaired and completely unable to speak and she handles her job very well. It only takes a bit of courtesy to bridge the communication "gap". So I imagine a slight stutter would be only a slight issue to deal with.

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Would you answer this question by not answering it? Pull my finger, son.

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Who is the last person you would want to see you naked? The coroner. Chances are if he is seeing me, I am having a real sh*tty day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

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What each of the alphabet L.O.V.E stands for? L - let your partner really be who they are and they should Let you be the same. O - Only argue about the really important issues, and most issues aren't that important. V- Victory for one of you should not mean defeat for the other. No winners and losers, just teammates. E- Expect that occassionally one of you will forget to give 100%. Give 200% until they catch up.

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Who thinks my invention idea is legit alright here it is. An air purifying system that's small enough to attach to your nostrils so that when there's second hand smoke in the air you could just attach this micro air purifying system to yours nostrils. I think it sounds alarmingly like my patented Fart Filter (tm). Only, of course with my invention you don't put the cartridge in your nostrils you put it in your..well you know. Maybe we could take your idea and mine into production as a kit?

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How to say "I love you" in your language? In "my" language these babies say it best!

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What does it take to capture your heart? Showing me yours.

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Whats the most boring class you've ever taken? Jazzercise. I grapevined my happy ass right out the door and never went back.

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If I stole something of yours, would you know it was missing? Not unless it was something really important like my box of snacks.

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Which Emperor said " what an artist dies in me"? Emperor Toot My Own Horn?

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Is it a legal requirement for a waitress (who doesn't even make desserts) to wash her hands after a cigarette break? I don't know the letter of the law everywhere but I expect that food handlers are required to wash their hands after eating, smoking, using the restroom or anything else that could possibly contaminate others food. Further it is just the right thing to do.

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Why am I so forgetful? Why do I screw everything in my life up? Last but not least, why do I hurt the people that I love the most? Just a guess: You are so forgetful because you have a rich, internal dialog running continuously in your head. Competing for your attention all the time. You probably don't screw up everything in your life. F*ck ups just tend to stand out in technicolor. This is also part of the forgetful problem. You are so busy remembering your screw ups you don't have room for new...

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What would you say to Santa if you were sitting on his lap and he got a little too excited to see you? Is that a candy cane or are you just happy to see me? Followed by I expect a 2 carat diamond under the tree, if you expect me to remain silent about "Old tannenbaum" in your pants.

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What should I do if i feel like my boydriend and I are together because of our child when we both love each other, but it just is'nt working out because most of the time we dont see eye to eye? You should realize that you are going through what all of us go through in the course of a relationship. There are going to be times where "all" that keeps you together is your love. Times when "all" that keeps you together is your love of your child. Times when "all" that keeps you together is the dread of splitting up your junk! It's normal. If you...

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If your female partner died in childbirth, how do you think that would effect your feelings towards the child? It would make me feel doubly protective towards the child who had something precious taken from them before they could even comprehend the magnitude of their loss.

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Should I call his wife and tell her about our affair of 10 years? Actually I want his wife to know because my husband found out about us and it has made my life a living hell. So, now I want him to have to pay. You want his wife to suffer because you cheated with her husband, got found out, and are being made miserable by YOUR husband? Talk about adding vicious insult to injury. Maybe it would best if you chalk up the living hell you are going through as being the price you are paying for the decisions YOU made and leave what is left of the other woman's life alone.

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How can you get on the answerbag top 5 and what do you get? Get in the top 5 and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the leader board.

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Do you like ACDC? I love them. I've got big balls is a fav of mine.

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Did you already try to hide/run from someone you knew but didn't want to talk to? Where did this happen and why did you not want to talk to him/her? Yup tried to hide. Restaurant. Post traumatic stress.

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Do you think that homosexuality is okay? Okay?....nah, it's ....Fabulous. It is also none of my business.

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What's a good thing to give someone who fidgets a lot? A sedative.

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Is anyone here a gennius? Yes, I are.

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If i french kiss a rabid wolf will i get rabies? No, you will get Howl-i-tosis! ba-dum-bum :)

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Do you think that GWBush is really stupid? Seriously, does one get to that position on money/good friends/relatives only? One doesn't get to high places without help. What do you think? Is he just stupid in politics but smart in his personal agenda? He is really that stupid. Someone else is pulling his strings.

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What happened in history on this date? November 20, 1984 Mc Donald's made it's 50 billionth hamburger.

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I just heard that Kohl's is opening at 4:00 am on Black Friday. Will you be there as the doors open? Not even if they are giving all the crap away for free.

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How do you say "no" to someone when they ask "Is this for me?" No, it's not. Sorry.

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Think back to your worst relationship, How did it end? Later than it should have.

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I just found out i failed the course i spent all year working really hard on, coz i got a job in the industry and was trying to work & study full time.I handed most of my final assignments in 1 day to late coz i was working.What can do to cheer myself up? Look on the bright side. You have already found a job in the industry. A job that will, in the long run, probably do more for your career in this field than any course you can take. This puts you one step ahead of most students simply taking the courses. If you need to take the course again. Do it. Don't let anything like this derail you. Learn from it and move forward.

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What is your favorite winter activity? Snuggling down under thick blankets, sipping warm coffee and watching a good movie.

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What is the best thing that every happened to you? Children.

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Huh...Apparently the US military is asking soldiers who were injured in Iraq to return part of their voluntary enlistment bonus because "they cannot fulfill their full term" Your thoughts? I think that as long as I am hearing about scandalous conditions at VA hospitals they had better not be asking for $$ back from the soldiers. Way things stand these men are going to need every penny they can get to pay for the medical treatment that is not being provided or is too far away for them to access without completely relocating their homes.

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What's the best way to boost optimism? Lower expectations.

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Were you a beautiful baby? Yes. Don't hate the baby cause it was beautiful :)

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It's my birthday!!! Can I cry? It's your party you can cry if you want to! Happy Birthday!

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Why does it take so long for some to find their one true love? They have bought into the "one true love" idea and keep thinking that the person they are with isn't the "one true love" so they move on. and on. and on.

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Why leave the comforts of home when you can take them all with you? Because all of those so-called "comforts" really represent chores and caretaking. To truly relax leave all that behind, let someone else cook and clean your room every night. For me, RVing is taking all those chores with me and performing them in a tiny cramped space. That is NOT a vacation.

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Do you or your pet need more attention? We are fairly well matched. Neither one of us is overly needy.

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I'm going to create a religion where I shave my head, calls myself Goddess, and require sacrifices of eclairs to the Holy Tooth Fairy while chanting naked inside of a refrigerator. What should I name it? Holy Temple of Britany. Where do I join?

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What he is telling you just doesn't add up to what you are in seeing in the picture. What do you do then? What you don't do is suspend your own judgement. If you still have questions or doubts, tell him! Stories are nice, but seeing is believing.

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Why are so many men Homophobic ( not that women arent) Do they think every gay man wants them? Because fish fear them and everybody wants them...it says so on their bumper sticker so it must be true.

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What is the most disgusting thing you had to eat? Faux scrambled eggs...made out of tofu and tumeric. Bitter as bird shit...which , by the way, I'm sure would be easier to swallow!

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Why do guys prefer skinny chicks? Why can't guys like girls that have meat on there bones? There are no skinny girl loving guys around me....I ATE them.

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I'm giving a guy that I like (and dying to kiss) money just as a generous gesture, yet also do it to get his attention turned to me, but is there any other way I can manage to get his attention to turn to me? Careful. You may wind up with the kind of boyfriend that money can buy.

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If your b/f or g/f told you to sit down and shut up, Would you? No. I would "flip off and walk out" though.

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What not to say to a man with "man breasts"? Show yer tits! Show Yer tits! ala Jerry Springer.

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What are the most pleasurable ways to masturabrate? Uninterrupted. Unhurried. Unabashed.

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What is the easiest way to pass a drug test?? Just say no.

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Did you know one church actually had "God hates fags" posted on the little billboard in the front of the church? how does that make you feel? It makes me feel like taking all their letters and leaving a little "sign" language of my own. (click photo to enlarge)

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Where do you pin your badges to? Badges? Those are BADGES? Oh, am I ever embarrassed!

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I told the girl I love (who is about to get married) how I felt. I feel terrible, but at least she knows how I felt. What do I do now? You take comfort in the notion that you spoke up about your feelings. You take comfort in the love you have for her making it possible for you to wish her happiness, even if it isn't with you. You take your heart that knows how to love, and go find someone who is the one for you.

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What's your sixth sense? Mine is my intuition. Mine is knowing when the last slice of pie, that I have hidden in the back of the fridge, is dangerously close to discovery and consumption by someone other than myself. Whoop, whoop, whoop, security breach!!!

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My interview went very good then i misspelled a word in a test what are my changes for a second interview Was the word "chances" by any stretch? Just kidding. It's hard to say if one error would cost you the second interview without knowing the importance of spelling to the position you were applying for. If it was one error, I am guessing that other factors of your interview, references, etc. will be more likely to determine if you get a second interview.

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So, its UNOFFICIAL, I have bird flu! :( Who wants to give me some get well messages? PS I might also have Malleria, hepatitis, e.coli and pneumonia! I think you have the less serious illness : Media Overloaditis. Good news is it's curable. Just turn off the t.v. and don't read the newspapers.

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After joining this site, I have become much more homophobic than I already was. Anyone else feel the same way? Sorry to hear that. That is the beauty and the danger of the Internet isn't it? Finding people who think just like you to bolster your beliefs, no matter how faulty. Oh well, homophobia/bias is like peanut brittle, there is always room for another nut.

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What is one movie that you saw that you do not want to see again? Kingpin. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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What would you do if all types of STD's were wiped off the earth? The Snoopy dance.

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Can finding a little bit of good in everyone be considered naive? Only if you bank something valuable like your safety on the notion that that little bit of good is present.

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I dropped my dog and now she has been limping? if we pick her up she will whimper i DO NOT know if her leg is DISLOCATED please help me PLEASE. Okay. Did she land on her legs when you dropped her? When you put her down can she put weight on all her legs? Any at all? Can she walk? Does she only whimper when you pick her up?

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Would you ever let an electioneering politician kiss your child? Oh hell no! Never know who's ass they kissed last!

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Since Santa is no longer allowed to say Ho Ho Ho, does that mean the Seven Dwarfs are not allowed to sing' HI Ho, Hi Ho ' anymore. What should be their new song? I owe, I owe, so off to work we go.

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How many orgasms have you had in your life, total? My life ain't over yet. Have to get back to you on that one. ah, ah ah..AHHHH (that's one more)

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What do dingos taste like? Like kangaroo.

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Why do so many people avoid the truth? Perhaps you just think that they do. Perhaps their truth doesn't look like your truth.

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Do you put your thoughts into actions? Yes. (Doughnuts) excuse me I need a snack.

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Would you be offended if i said you crazy fother mucker? Nah. I know you will understand when I say you bass ackwards sock cucker, so it's all good.

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If words could kill, would you still be breathing today? Yes. But only because I am wearing my "I'm rubber, you're glue" protective gear.

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Worms or Lemmings? Baked or fried?

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Do you always get what you want for Christmas? Yup. We are all mostly healthy and happy. Doesn't get any better than that.

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Have you got the wind in your sails? I'm a gas powered boat.

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What's the longest you've ever had your hair? Right down to my butt-tocks.

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Why do Cockaroaches die upsidedown? They spent their whole life avoiding getting onto their backs. Seeing their last chance fading away along with their life force, they give a mighty heave ho and flip over. They then die fulfilled.

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If I get a wagon or a hatchback will you think I'm uncool? No. But I drive a mom mobile so I may not be the best person to ask!

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Do you make up your mind quickly? Yes! No. Yes!

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What is different about your closest friend to your other friends? 20+ years of shared life experiences.

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Is your brain on autopilot? No. It is just gliding along with no one at the controls.

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So what have you got to say for yourself? I didn't know you were saving that cake for the party. It was yummy!

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Have you ever made your mom cry? Yup. Payback is a bitch.

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What do porn stars do on their nights off? "Oh god, don't say "off"!

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If your favorite pair of shoes were so trashed you had no choice but to throw them away, would you buy a new pair just like them? I'm worse than that. If I get a pair and I love them I got out and buy a spare pair just like them. It's hard to find a sole mate, I can't let old age end a perfect relationship!

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A guy said this to me: "I'm not a gambling man by nature, but i think the potential payoff in this scenario far outweighs the risk". What does this mean? That he isn't normally a risk taker but that the payoff in this scenario makes him want to give it a try. It means you will probably be getting a token in your slot machine.

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What do you think about a guy who says guys don't compliment etc. he says just the fact that he is here says it all? I think he should work at the relationship also. your thoughts? He is speaking for himself. I know guys who don't feel that way at all. I think that it is possible he feels that his being with you is the greatest compliment. But that statement implies that when he doesn't think you are the greatest he will be gone. Not exactly the stuff that long term relationships are made of since there are as many days when you aren't going to be...

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How do you cut the crap? With somebody else's knife.

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What about George W. Bush are you most comfortable criticizing? His politics. I actually admire his celebrity impersonations.

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How do i squirt?i wacked off 40million times and havent squrits once.How come?!! :( 40 million times? Jeeeze give it a rest and it might be able to work up more than a dribble!

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What new balloon(s) would you suggest for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? Viagra has a balloon idea that is hard to beat!

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Where does being confident end and being conceited begin? Being confident requires no trumpets to announce it's arrival. Being conceited is all about the blowing of horns.

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If you could compliment yourself right now, what would you say? :-D ... Good Job! You've lived longer than you thought you would. Been loved deeply by several people. Have loved deeply several people in return. Your family is happy to see you when you get home. Your pets are happy to see you when you get home. You have learned more than you have forgotten. You have gained more than you have lost. Not bad, not bad at all.

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My dh has 3 kids from a previous marriage. The eldest is not his biologically but its a well kept secret.We have a daughter together and I refuse to lie to her about who her biological siblings are. One day I will tell her the truth. Is this the rightway? If your refusal to lie to your daughter is going to rock his eldest daughters world I would think long and hard about revealing this secret. Her "biological" bond of half sibling isn't likely to need microscopic scrutiny unless you are dealing with royal succession. So why pop the cork on an issue that will matter little to your daughter and has the potential to matter...

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Were you an asshole when you were younger? What did it take to change you? When did the change take place? No. But if the need arose I could do a f*cking great impression of one!

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Would I like being inside your head? why or why not? You might, for a little while anyway. Why? Because there is constant activity in there. Why not? Because there is constant activity in there.

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What is one thing you dont expect your partner to ever do? Breastfeed.

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What would you do if you realized your country is slowly taking away your rights? Secretly stockpile arms and train an army. Shhhhh....mum's the word

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What is ain't a contraction of? (The spell checker lets it pass as correct) Aunt. As in : Yer ain't cain't fix vittles she's feeling poorly! You've got the Redneck Spellchexer on your computer, ain't ya?

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What do you eat when you get the munchies while Answerbagging? Tonight it is Original Pik-Nik Shoestring Potatoes.

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Do you consider yourself better than the next person? No more than I consider myself inferior to the previous person.

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What was your label in school? Invisible.

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Where is the fracas (on a human body)? News story locally said "Local man stabbed in fracas" At one end of the butt crack is the taint...at the upper end is the fracas. Occasionally you will hear the "fracas" referred to as the quarter-slot. This is usually in connection with the condition known as plumbers-butt. So, now you know the rest of the story.

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What are you really trying to say? Hello? Is this thing on? Okay, what I really want to say is...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp and that's all I have to say 'bout that!

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What's your favorite part of the turkey? The neck. I chase my kids around with it saying it is the turkey's penis. Ah, traditions, ain't they grand?

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Would you encourage people to unbutton their shirts if they are uncomfortable (i.e., overheated, too tight, etc)? The situations where it is reasonable to suggest to someone that they unbutton their shirt because they look too hot or too uncomfortable. Is mostly limited to first aid and porno situations. Ba waa chicka chicka bow wa!

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Can children disturb your love? Apparently not. He slept right through every 3 am feeding.

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What would you do if you fell in love with another person whilst being with another, and you said you'd leave who you're with for this person but they said no I don't want you to. I would end one relationship or the other. I would also bear in mind that someone who is cheating with you but doesn't want you to leave your current partner may be telling you that you are "great to visit but they wouldn't want to live there".

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What happens to someone who is discovered to lie in a job interview? Is the person punished with a charge or fine or...? If you are caught in a lie during an interview you won't be hired. Probably, end of story. If you are found out to have lied after you are hired and work there you can face more serious consequences. Firing, being the first. Prosecution, depending on the severity of the lie AND what you have cost the company in lost revenue due to hiring you in the first place. Bear in mind this...

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Next door neighbor dug huge hole directly on and over property line within 2 ft of the cable junction box. Planted a huge oleander on his side of hole, filled & replaced his sod but not mine. What can I do w/out being overt? Sounds like there is bad blood already? Did he plant that very efficient screening plant because you have already "had words". In any event he shouldn't have disturbed your sod. The bottom line is you may as well be "overt" about dealing with this situation because the Oleander is going to get HUGE and well over half of it will be hanging over your property line.

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What are the top five places you must visit before you die? 1. Peace 2. Contentment 3. Self-knowledge 4. Deep connections 5. Love

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What's George W. Bush's amazing achievement to date? Continuing to have respirations with absolutely no brain activity.

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I am a brain! Finally! a Brain! whooot! Who will congratulate me? Congrats! But Strawman, you had a brain all along!

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If females didn't have males to nag...what then? I don't have males that I nag and I'm surviving just fine, thanks.

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Are humans one of the stupidest animals on the planet? if so, when did we get that way? Yes. It happened when we no longer had to rely on our own skills to survive. We have lazied ourselves into stupidity.

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Credit card- Good or bad? Credit card for buying stuff...good Credit card bill......bad

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Does anyone ever really live "happily ever after", or is it just a fairy tale? They live happily ever after if they figure out that real-life happily ever after doesn't look just like fairy tale happily ever after.

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Does anyone here at AB ever answer truthfully, or do you hide behind a pseudo personality? I lack a bullshit filter between my mind and my mouth so what you see is what I think. However, I do "hide" behind my Marcie avatar cause she's cuter than I am.

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Where is the craziest place you have ever re-discovered your cell-phone? Sadly it was in the bottom of a big gulp cup. A full big gulp cup!

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Why are so many people sell outs? Because they have so little integrity to begin with that is seems like a good deal to trade that tiny amount for the shiny bauble.

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Why shouldn't I go into the woods? You heard what nearly happened to Hansel and Gretel, didn't you?

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Why can't anyone learn how to spell properly today? They can and I did it! Today I learned how to spell properly. P.r.o.p.e.r.l.y. See?

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Have you ever been attracted to someone and you didn't know why? Yup, every time my husband says something colossally stupid. So everyday. Final Answer.

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With all the "Idiots" guide to books out there, if you could write one what would it be? The Complete Idiots Guide to Pouring Piss Out of A Boot.

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My step dad wants to adopt me, and i don't think its a good idea for many reasons. my mom thinks that is disrespectful to him because he pays most of my bills as my real dad is no longer in my life. anyone agree with her? I don't know your reasons for not wanting to be adopted by your stepfather. However, I will say that if you feel you have some and they can't give any better reason than "he pays the bills" then I do not think you should be forced into this decision. Accepting this man as your father should be about you viewing him as your father and him viewing you as his child. It is...

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Who said "Go West young man!"? Who did he say it to? Mae West solicting a hot young man.

| 1 person likes this

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Can AB be divided up into "highbrows" and "lowbrows"? I say yes, let's do it!

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If you died tomorrow, would you regret it? Only if I didn't have that big piece of pie for dessert tonight. Since I did, I think I'm good if the grim reaper should show his ugly mug tomorrow.

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How do you tell if your finger is broken? You can't pick your nose.

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Who feels good knowing that one of our high ranking members advocates rape? at least they are down rating people that say rape is not pleasurable. I went and read all the items linked and I have to say I don't get what this is all about. The person cites that reports of sexual responsiveness have been made and even attempted to be used in court to undermine the claim of rape, unsuccessfully. Which I have read about. I have read accounts of rape victims being twice victimized because of their rape AND because of their feeling of...

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Shall i take this black hat off now? GOD YES! Let's trade, you take the white hat for awhile. It's boring as hell being the good guy.

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AB is full of over-zealous liberals and conservatives incapable of seeing any other side of any issue. Aren't there any non-extremists left? Can we have a shout out for all the moderates and people who will admit they don't have ALL the answers? "AB is full of over-zealous liberals and conservatives incapable of seeing any other side of any issue.", is a pretty extremist opening line. See how easy it is to go extremes?

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I have a friend whose husband told her since she was a stay at home mom, it was her job to clean the dinner dishes and he shouldn't have to help. I have no idea what to say to her. What are your opinions? I think he should spend a full couple of days taking care of the kids so that he can get a better idea of the demands that they make. So that he can see how things will get left undone because the kids needs take priority. I think from the moment he walks in the door he should take care of the kids since he is 1/2 parent and it wouldn't be fair for her to "hog" them all to...

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What should the "addiction to answerbag" be called?Suggestions? ABysmal.

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There's a girl who rides my bus and she always brags about how rich she is. Some of the boys started calling her "Rich Bitch" and she starts to cry everytime they do this. Is this okay even if she brought it upon herself? No it isn't okay. Understandable but not okay. Sad truth is people brag because they lack something. She tried to compensate for that by saying she was rich and instead of making her feel better, it has turned into something to make her feel even worse. Have compassion for her. Tell her she has to stop crying or they will never end the game. Be kind.

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Doesn't Curious Frank have one of the most genial smiles when you look at his picture in his Avatar? It looks a little naughty to me! Some of his recent answers lead me to think I'm correct about this!

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I am about to go out of town,and I need to find my husband a s*x toy,so he won't cheat on me, what s*x toy should I get?Any advice? Pack heavy and keep on trucking.

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Can you sum up love in one word? Actions

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Do you fear death? Deathly afraid!

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Has your Christmas cactus bloomed early? Mine are blooming now and that is right on schedule for mine. However mine bloom twice a year so they are a little unusual to start with.

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How do you feel about polygamy? Depends. Does she cook and clean?

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How often do you post a picture to go with your answer? I try not to post them too often. Having said that, I am really, really excited about the new flattering photo of myself so I will post it here.

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What situation makes you give a blank stare? Awe inspiring acts of stupidity!

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Did you do it better this time than you did it before? Nope but I did it a shit load faster!

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Should people from the UK be forced to learn American English if they live in the US? Nobody should be forced to learn English. They just shouldn't expect America to be re-written to accommodate their language barrier.

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I have never owned a "gravy boat". Would it be wrong to serve gravy out of a creamer? If the queen is to be in attendence it would be wrong. Otherwise, go for it.

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Why would a woman refuse to swallow? I mean its such a insult.... I suppose she could just refuse the blow job completely with a no, thanks. Is that less insulting?

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Who likes to sit in the middle of the couch? The undecided.

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If you heard that a guy you liked had a really bad temper, drank heavily, and flirted a lot with other woman would that stop you from wanting to date him? Frankly that would stop me from even wanting to know him let alone date him.

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If god asked you to kill your family how do u know its not the devil telling you? Pretty safe to say if the "voices" are telling you to kill your family the next "voices" you need to be hearing are that of mental healthcare professionals. It's not god and it's not the devil. It's mental illness.

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Can an officers sign your citation for you? He could but I don't want that f*ckers autograph :(

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What is Twogirlsonecup.com? A crappy video that has everybody talking. Success for the filmmaker.

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What would you say if AB got closed down? Yahoo! and Booohoooo!

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Is there anything that AB can do as a community to embrace members who are either, sad, lonely or depressed during what is supposed to be "the happiest time of the year"? Prozac Nog. Lots of it.

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Dose everyone on ere think im pregnant Let's see.. (click to read your results)

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Why does my chin itch when I cough? Hmmm...tell him to back up a bit or wax his balls.

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When you die, if you were able to take one thing with you. What would it be and why? A shovel. If I find myself needing anything after I die I want a strong shovel to get my a$$ out of that coffin and hole.

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If you had to choose, would you rather leave a child alone at home with a lighter or a book of matches? I would choose the lighter. A. Lighters have child safety locks on them now. Locks that defeat many the frustrated nicotine addicts...let alone a child. B. If a child were to light matches or the lighter and it scared them they would drop it. If you drop a lighter...the flame goes out. Not necessarily so for a match. C. When a child lights a match many times the whole book goes...

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How come there's this chick at my school who acts all stupid has like 5 boyfriends while some of the really smart people who are just as good looking get ignored? Cause talking a stupid girl into the backseat is waaaaaayyyy easier than talking the smart one into the backseat.

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If a woman deliberately gets pregnant by a man who SPECIFICALLY made it known to her that he does NOT want to have kids should he be made to support the child? If the woman held the man down and stole his little sperm-fishies from him,NO. If he was involved with setting his sperm-fishies free, Yes. He should have kept his guppies in his sack where they could not create a kid or havoc. In the end it doesn't matter who did what. There is a child now and that child's needs are paramount. After all the ONE person who didn't do...

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What is your next level and how many points untill you reach it? 67! and grats here's +3 for you!

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What is bliss? Being able to zip your skinny jeans even AFTER a big meal.

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Fill in the blank questions are _______. A no-no! Now we are going get it, Bobby!

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Do you mind if you want to sleep and you hear a ticking? Not too much. Just enough that I must, no matter how tired I am, get out of the bed. Hunt down the source and KILL it.

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How do you feel about cartoon characters using curse words? Hi, I'm Marcie of Peanuts™ and I feel it's pretty f*cked up!

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What do you say in order to engage an unfriendly person in a converstion? Is there some compelling reason that you need to have conversation with this person? Beyond the standard job-ese? If not, leave them be. If there is a reason that you have to converse..just grab a chair and a whip and go at it "lion tamer" style.

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My daughter has to take some type of candy or snack food that starts with the letter D.....I am at a loss. Any suggestions? Dove Chocolates Dots candy

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My towel fell in front of my gfs sister by accident. I didn't notice at first, as I was sorting out stuff and she didn't say anything, but my gf walked in and went mad, don't understand girls!. Has this ever happened to you, or how would you react? Girls are pretty easy to understand. Rule #1 If you are dating us DON'T show your wiener to our sister. Rule #2 If you should break rule #1, expect us to "go mad"

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If you didn't have to to live, would you still eat? Frankly, with my fat stores I technically don't "have" to eat to live for a good little while. I'm not letting that stop me now so I can't see it stopping me then.

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Have you ever heard anything so stupid as being banned from saying ho ho ho at xmas time? I think they can blo, blo, blo me.

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How do "you" know when you are to drunk to drive? When I have been drinking but am certain that I'm "fine".

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What's your favorite letter of the alphabet? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Cause I'm tired.

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What side is the right side? Beachside.

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I have to abort due to some crucial reasons. I m 9 weeks pregnant. I m too weak. So please suggest me how do i go about doing an abortion now or is it okay if i do it after two or three week? I hope I'm misreading this but your question makes it sound like you are looking for do it yourself methods. There is NO such thing. For the very good reason that you could seriously hurt yourself or die! If you need to have an abortion contact Planned Parenthood in your area and they will counsel you on where to go. Don't wait and DO NOT ATTEMPT to make yourself abort it can...

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What is the one thing that you cannot stand when dining in a restaurant? The guy one table over that is having sinus probs so he keeps sucking snot! They may as well cancel my order at that point, I'm too sick to eat.

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Is it true that what goes around, comes around? To a degree it is true. If you look at a person who routinely screws people over, you will see a life that doesn't look great to you. You will then tell yourself that their diminished life is their "just desserts". This will be true, for you. If you had to live that life it would be pure punishment. However, for them? They seem to enjoy it so actual suffering is...

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There. Was that so bad? I don't know. I'll do it to you and you tell me!!!

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Are you straight gay or gay straight? I'll let you know when I finish reading my handbook!

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Which is your favourite nut? Restrained. .......see photo......................what did you think I meant???

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Did you begin today with a positive attitude? I did. Sadly by 3 pm folks had pissed in my Wheaties and I was struggling to maintain it! Oh well, tomorrow is another one.

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I was had a live disease 3 years ago. Now fine but cannot drink. There are135? different diseases of the liver--why does everyone assume that if you have one that you are an alcoholic? I am continual asked if I am alcoholic. How would you answer people? Do you mean they ask if you are an alcoholic because you decline a drink? Tactless but they may be trying to be p.c. about not condemning alcoholics. If they know you have liver disease and that is why they are asking. It is pretty damn nervy to ask if you are an alcoholic unless they are your health care or loved ones. So to those other nosy-nosertons I would say No I am not an...

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I am so itchy and ive tried every lotion on the market :( i'm bleeding and i think im gonna cry. Are you itchy all over? If yes, you may be experiencing hives or an allergic action. Take an over the counter antihistamine like Benadryl BY MOUTH and if the itchiness is reduced or eliminated that is probably what it is. Don't use topical Benadryl on large areas of skin while taking it orally.

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Would you lick a hairy bush? I do not lick the hairy bush. I do not lick the hairy tush I do not lick the hairy fox I do not lick the hairy box. I do not lick them in a boat. I do not lick them like a goat. I do not lick them here or there. I do not lick them anywhere.

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Do you stand out in a crowd? Only when I dress myself.

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Do you ever feel like ripping your own head off and throwing it away? Yep! Fortunately? at times like that, my head is generally too far up my ass for me to bother!

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If you had to give your sense of humor a biological age, what would it be? 104. It has nothing to lose by being as weird as it wants to be :)

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What's a good clue that you might be dead? Your whole family is together in a smallish funeral parlour room, you are all dressed up but look a little stiff and you don't have a cross word with anyone! That is proof positive that YOU are the dead guy!

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Do women come to you for sexual release like your some machine? Looking to be a writer for Penthouse Forum are ya? I never thought it would happen to me until...

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Do you have Ramen Noodles in your house right now? I have regular ramen noodles and then I have the fab kinds from the oriental market. Thai, Chinese, Korean, and Japanese,and all different kinds and they are YUMMY!

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Can anyone explain to me why I just received a dildo in the mail? Hmmm...is that somebody's bizarre idea of a "go f*ck yourself" message or what?

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Can you truthfully respect someone who doesn't respect you? Yes, I can but it chaps my ass.

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Who is your AB boyfriend/girlfriend? I don't have one. I do have a soft spot for a certain Pumpkin though!

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Anyone doing any last minute mass moderation before they cut the points ? Will we have the best moderated site ever for a few days? I believe in moderation in moderation so I'm all stocked up, thanks!

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A family friend is calling her baby Ciara (Key eara) Marie. What do u think of it? P.s. i'm not tellin her i just wanna know cause i'm not to gone on it. Removing my "lame attempt" to answer this question. Flag it, for points if you like! :)

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Do you have enough hope to make you happy.? I have enough acceptance to make me happy. I gave up hope awhile ago and have never been happier.

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It would be devastating for you to never eat which of these foods again: ice cream, pasta, cheeseburger or french fries? Pasta because that eliminates so many dishes. The others I could find a substitute for but replacing pasta in my favorite dishes would be hard.

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When you look in the mirror do you see the same innocent, trusting face you have seen there since childhood? No, but I see the wise, capable face of the lady who takes good care of that child inside.

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Well, since Harry Potter never really graduated from Hogwarts - what do you think his current occupation is? (in the last chapter of book 7) He works part-time for the Psychic Network.

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Iam 16 years old.Ive never smoked nor drank beer in my life.A few days ago my Sinuses sprung up on me and I rubbed my throat and felt a little lump on the left side.It moves when I swallow and is not that big.Should I be worried? You probably shouldn't be, but that doesn't seem to stop us does it? :) What you are feeling is probably a lymph node. The nodes are your body's self defense system. Your sinus infection? (bacterial needs antibiotics, viral just need TLC and time) have activated your defense system. It is a sign of your body's healthy immune system. Having said that, I ain't...

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In general, are you observant and / or analytical? I analyze everything I observe. It's a curse!

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Would you like to become a ghost after the death.?If " yes"would you frighten people or would you help them I would like to be a ghost if I could appear when my loved ones are faltering and need to "see" me. I wouldn't want to frighten them or any one else.

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Is it a good or bad idea to discuss how badly you've been burned in the past with a person you're considering dating?? He's already discussed his past relationships, warts and all, and I want him to know why I've been so cautious until now. Advice? I would focus on sharing *how* my past relationship circumstances have shaped me and avoid the gory details. Ie: I tend to hesitate about jumping in full throttle because I have been burned. I want you to know it isn't about how I feel about you. Don't dwell on ONLY the negative lessons either. Ie: My past relationships have taught me to trust my gut. My gut is telling me...

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What is the benefit of being well spoken? Avoiding incarceration.

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What does the body need fibre for? So it can poopie.

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Has it all been a pack of lies? Yep! So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been! It's all been a pack of lies.

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Am I the only person not ready to die? Or for the end of the world? Nope...I'm right here, cowering behind this bomb shelter/Medical center!

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Are you a smoker? Does it bother you that 'smoker rights' are almost extinct? I realize that the affects of secondhand smoke are almost as bad as if the other person was a smoker themselves, but... why would non-smokers feel that smokers should quit? I'm a quitter. Yes, it bothers me. Public bans on smoking in public places, okay. But the vehement anti-smoking views that give people the faulty belief that it is "in" to be rude to anybody who smokes is wrong. It is very easy to say that targeting "this" group of people is the right thing to do for (insert reason here). But the bottom line is someones...

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My experience on AB so far has been very good. Occasional "run-ins" with others has resulted in "working things out" due to the gracious willingness of the AB member to hang in and keep talking. What has your experience been like so far? It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

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How do I leave somebody that I love ( I would do anything to gain his love) but he doesn't love me, he claims to love another, yet continues with me? I feel insecure about everything and used. But I don't want him to go. And I know he should. That he has said he doesn't love you and loves another but continues to be with you shows clearly the kind of man that he is. Of course you feel insecure and used. His behavior towards you and your acceptance of it is the recipe for those feelings. I know you don't want him to go, but really other than a flesh suit *HE* isn't really there now. Loving someone and being...

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Trolling, CLs, bullying, moderating. What's next? World peace?

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People say i am more pretty and beautiful than hot!!! what is the difference? be specific! Your looks do not give off an air of sexual awareness. This, by the way, can be an attitudinal thing.

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My alarm clock's broken and i have school in 10 hours, what should i do? http://computer-alarm-clock.com/saythetime/default.html?lid=ggl&more=GoogleAdWordsSearch%20wake%20up%20clock&gclid=CJ3U4Pqb2Y8CFRk0awodjgsI8Q Download this onto your computer and set the alarm.

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If AB is an addiction; what are the withdrawl symptoms from quitting AB? Watery vowels.

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Should i be offended if someone calls me a "full-blown bisexual"? Offended? Nah! Intrigued yes. I would have had to respond with "no, I'm only half blown, care to finish the job?"

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Ladies: Does porn make you feel insecure? Oh yes, I know I will never be able to fake orgasm as good as those girls do! <pout>

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Why do people chide for putting mayo on hamburgers? People chide for that? Bring it on "people"! Now while I like a smidgen of mayo on my burger, the site of hordes of people in San Diego, California Costco squirting gobs of it on HOTDOGS nearly made me hurl. Isn't that ironic?

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What are your thoughts on jealous people? I don't think there are as many of those as some would like to think that there are. Many times people attribute the label "jealous" to people who don't like them. Probably to cushion the blow of rejection.

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How much would it cost for you to rock my world? Well, it depends. Were you thinking pebbles or boulders?

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Does Larry King scare you also? Cadaver King? Yes he scares me!

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What do you think those bizarre, eerie sounds coming from Saturn are? ET phoning home.

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What are the qualities that you look for in a good leader? The ability to inspire and the confidence to accept leadership qualities in other people.

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I am in love with a black man but know how my parents feel would you leave him because of his race? Does race even mean anything really? Does race really mean anything? Well the P.C. answer is no. But the reality is that you already know that, for your parents, race is really going to mean something. They are not alone in this thinking. I'm not saying it's right, just that it is. Having said that, your parents have made their choices and lived *their* lives, now it's your turn. As hard as it is for them and...

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You know the tree by the fruit it bears. What type of fruit do you create in life? Indehiscent Fruits, those which do not split open at maturity.

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Who came up with "your mom" jokes? Your dad

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If you were arrested for eating chocolate, how would you defend yourself? I would escape from my holding cell...I could do it, I have a few Twix up my sleeves!

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A guy at work has pretty much hooked up with every girl he's found attractive. Recently, he's been IMing me, commented on my looks and being more friendly than before. Is he just trying to "get some? I'd say that odds are that yes, he is looking for some. You've seen him in action enough to know he has hooked up with "every girl he's found attractive." So it's likely more of his same than that you are that one in a million, one true love. Of course, I think you already know this, hence the question.

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The current climate on AB seems to be one of paranoia, laced with suspicion of other users. Why can't we all just get along? Can't you see we get nowhere by accusing each other of these grandiose wrongdoings? This is the INTERNET, people!!! Is it really part of the solution to ask this kind of "in case you are having a good time and missed the bullshit" question? Surely starving the issue by ignoring it would be more effective than feeding it?

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I need help very fast my girl is mad and sad very depress with me b/c i told her how i felt when she say mean things to me how can i get her to forgive me? i gave balloons roses chocolates i wrote an sorry letter to her she didn't take nuttingwhatcanido? If you don't want to shop around for a newer and nicer model. I would suggest you do NOTHING else. NO phone calls, nothing. As soon your silence makes her figure out that she has gone too far in punishing you for having the nerve to say that she was being unkind she will be back so fast it'll make you sick.

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Have you ever been the center of attention? Did you like it? Yes I have. For the first little while, it's fun. Then it starts to grate. So no, overall I would say I didn't like it.

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Can I have some!? I spit on it, but sure! Help yourself!

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Are there any disadvantages/punishments to getting your question flagged (and eventually rejected)? Public stoning at dawn.

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Have you ever had to work with an asshole? I've worked with so many assholes, I am an honorary doctor of Proctology.

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What is your motto in life? Stand up, Speak up, and hang on.

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Would you rather be shot with an arrow or a bullet? An arrow. Preferably, Cupids!

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How unhealthy is it to regularly only eat one meal a day? Pretty unhealthy in terms of blood sugar highs and lows. You spend the morning in a very low blood sugar state, then FLOOD it with the meal, and then spend the rest of the day with your levels dropping lower and lower. You don't realize how bad this is making you feel until you start to have small meals spaced out during the day. At least I didn't.

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Define: 'Claustrobation' Sneaking your hands down the front of your too tight pants for a little tickle.

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Less is more in what areas? Less possessions is more space. Less bills is more money in your wallet. Less work is more free time. Less food is more healthy. Less stress is more healthy. Less bullshit is more fun.

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How much will power do you have? Enough to accomplish my goals.

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Why do women not participate in bull fighting? Oh we do, it just happens in the domestic arena minus the adoring audience.

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I recently went out on a date and i ever time i looked at my date, an old friends name kept popping up in my head. What does this mean? That this person in some way reminded you of your old friend.

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What keeps you up at night? It is a string of them that play in a loop I have to get to sleep, I have a busy day tomorrow, If I go to sleep now I can still get 6 hours, I have to get to sleep....

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What animal does baloney comes from? Dyslexic Abalone. The Y is added during processing.

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If you could be responsible for bringing back a fad, what would it be? Why? Self-reliance. Because there wasn't so much crybaby whining then.

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Do women give pet names to their own breasts? Sure but I only use them during the dreaded PMS phase. They are collectively called TOUCH THEM and DI!

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If you were prepared to give up your entire life to be with someone, then the day you decide to pack up and leave everything , and the person you were leaving for died, would you take that as a sign to stay put? From a "getting over grief" standpoint I would think moving and having to deal with the decision making that this would entail would be just too much.

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"Should" you be bagging now? Oh you are a mean one! Nope, I should be cleaning a couple of things. Oh well, in the words of Scarlett.."tomorrow is another day"!

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How many times have you "unsubscribed from comments"? None....yet :)

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How come when you are unsure about things like what you want to eat or what shoes to wear it is called "indecisive" but if you are unsure about relationships it escalates to become a "fear of commitment"? Because fear of bacon instead of ham or fear of sandals instead of pumps sounds bizarre. Conversely saying someone is indecisive about commitment makes it sound like the choice is between this partner and another. Instead of a choice to further commit or not.

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Why is it natural to want somthing when you cant have it, but when you can have it your not interested? Anticipation generates an excitement that generally beats reality, hands down.

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I am Bulgarian! Tell me the first thing that comes to mind, when you hear that. (even if it's nothing) I won't bite, so be honest! Got Bulgar wheat?

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Say What!? I SAID do you want fries with that?

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What really makes a man happy? Not having to talk about what makes them really happy.

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Who remembers Eureka's Castle, AHHH! Real Monsters, What Would You Do, Double Dare, Salute Your Shorts, Snick, or any other really good, old Nickelodeon shows? I remember those. I actually thought Eureka's castle was interesting. I was an adult with small kids when it was on.

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Не has divorced with his wife for the sake of his lover, but after divorce the lover has left him ..Now his wife does not want him back and two childern(20 y.o. and 18 y.o.) don`t want even to talk with him.Are you sorry for him? Yup, I am. This has less to do with the type of person he is than it does this pain-in-the-ass empathy I seem cursed with.

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"On the Media" on NPR has a contest to come up with a complete story in 12 words or less... Their example "For sale; baby shoes, never worn." Another classic.. "I'm pregnant" thought the queen. "I wonder who's it is?" What can you do? Maude and Ted wed,went to bed, and named the baby Fred.

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When did you know that you loved yourself? When I did something really mortifying and only felt compassion for my silly old self. In the olden days I would have self-flagellated (it isn't what it sounds like, really) for weeks!

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If You were a Wrestler what entrance Music would you have? She's a Maniac.

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Are you too sexy for this website? No, just sexy enough!

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When will the ordinary man become an extraordinary man? When he does for others that which he doesn't expect others to do for him.

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Have you overcome an obstacle that looked hopeless at first? How did you do it? Yes. I did it when I stopped looking at the enormity of the whole obstacle and focused on the next little step, then the next, and the next and the next after that. Until I was on the other side, looking back in amazement :).

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My 15-year-old daughter wants to get breast implants like Britney Spears'...how do I convince her otherwise? Just say no. Secondly, there is no responsible plastic surgeon that will do the surgery. So if you find one, chances are you won't be impressed with their credentials. She could go from small breasts to huge deformed ones with the wrong surgeon. Thirdly,and most importantly, I would work very hard to counteract the "looks is everything" culture we have going today,...

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When having sex: Lights off or on? Off, I know where everything important is and I would like no distractions. :)

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Has anyone ever written you a love letter that has made you cry? I have gotten several of them from the people in my life that mean the most to me. I've been very lucky.

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Which of a 'terrorists' values are different than 'your' own? Surprisingly their voiced values differ very little from that of many other groups. Where their values and mine part ways is the act of killing people, innocent people, to impose my beliefs on the world. It's enough, for me, to believe what I believe. I don't have to make the world bend to my will.

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Whats the best way to get revenge on an abusive ex, without the kids getting involved? The best way is No way. There is no way you can hurt your ex (their other parent) and not hurt them Everything you say, let alone do towards your ex is a blow to your kids. Even if they say they "hate" them there is a very large part of themselves that identifies who THEY are in relation to that person. The more you tear your ex/their parent down the harder it is for your...

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My 2 month old does not take the same ounces all the time is that okay Yes, it is okay, as long as s/he is alert and putting on weight. I remember worrying so much about things that if I had taken a step back from that smaller concerns; like how many ounces) and looked at the bigger picture (how is the baby acting? healthy, happy, thriving) I could have saved myself lots of worry. Congratulations on the baby :)

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Hwo was an internet discoverd It was an fortuitous accident. IP Hwo, a fortune cookie saying generator, was at the end of his creative road. Desperate to keep his job and his reputation intact he put on a crash helmet and dashed himself against the constraints of his library and his humble computer. There must have been some magic in that old plastic hat he found. For when he put it on his head his computer made...

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Please help! my bunny has a red cylindrical shaped thing in his bum, can bunnies have tape worms? he is shaking and looks very sick and i can't get him to a vet. someone please help me tape worms are white. Round worms are red but you are more likely to see them IN the rabbit poop. It sounds like intestine is protruding. Not a very good sign. His shaking is bad too. He needs to been seen by the vet asap. Keep him warm.

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What do you think of somebody building a house just for a ghost? Too much time and $$ on their hands. I can help them with the latter. :)

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I have a 6months female lhasa and a 3 yr old male neutered lhasa. Should the male leave my puppy alone when she goes in heat? Probably not. There is more to it than his ability to impregnate and you will see lots of sniffing, licking and possibly whining. Besides which it is always a good idea to spay your female. It greatly reduces her risk of cancer. Both uterine and breast. Not to mention that there are just too many unwanted pets already to breed more.

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Was your biggest dream ever crushed? I thought so once. Then I realized the package the dream was in was just a bit damaged and the dream inside was still intact.

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Have a happy ______? Fill in the blank with what you would tell someone that came to Mcdonalds and you were the person at the drive through window who gives people food. Quadruple By-pass!

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What is your take on Cindy Sheehan? I believe she raised a very valid question about this war and I believe for that she was punished. I believe her when she wrote that she is disillusioned by the failure of Democratic politicians to bring the unpopular war to an end and tired of a peace movement she said "often puts personal egos above peace and human life." I believe that she is right when she announced that her...

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Are you willing to do the work required to get what you want? Sometimes, no. However, I am willing to do the work required to get what I, or my family, NEED!

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My tonsils are swollen on one side and hurt when i touch that side of my neck or i swallow what is that is that anything serious It could be. A very sore throat should always be seen by the doctor for a simple swab test for Strep. Untreated strep can cause damamge to heart valves, so get it checked out.

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What Can i do to show my parents im responsible and that they can trust me?(im trying to get ungrounded and my dad says theres one thing i have to do) I have tried helping around the house, raising my grades, and talking to them about it. What can i do? Perhaps they are waiting on you to acknowledge the seriousness of having broken their trust and to sincerely apologize for it. Without being told that it is necessary.

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Do you laugh a lot, or cry a lot? I laugh a lot.

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Is your mind disciplined enough to compartmentalize your core beliefs and act in accordance with what society has agreed upon? I don't consider the practice of compartmentalizing one's core beliefs to act in accordance with what society has agree upon to be an indicator of a disciplined mind. In fact, I would go out on a limb and call that practice selling out your core beliefs.

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Why do I feel that everyone is out to get me? Either they are. Or you are paranoid.

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I am a 16 yr old female and have a 6 month old daughter with my 18 yr old boyfriend. i live in the state of oklahoma and i have to have a parents consent well my mom said if my father signs she is going to file back child support!! but is that possiable? I'm guessing that you are looking for parental consent to get married to your baby's father? That your father has said he will sign for you. That your mother has said that if he does that she will file for back child support that your father owes. If your father is behind in child support or hasn't paid it at all even though he was obligated by divorce to do so. Yes,...

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