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What makes you tick? Talk.

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How do you like the new movie called The Losers? If my family's autobiography has been made into a film without my consent, they can expect to hear from my attorneys.

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Do shrooms make men do things they regret I don't regret you and I. I hope you don't either. ;-)

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Have you ever noticed how some people commenting on websites are really stupid? Derp!

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What do you think of when you think of Russia? Sean Connery's masterful portrayal of Marko Ramius in The Hunt for Red October. Oh... wait... no... Serious answer: Perestroika! (Oh Sean, how could you.)

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How often do you cut your nails? Whenever my rather firm handshake draws blood.

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Who's your favorite Greek god or goddess? Prometheus was cool too. Not sure if that had anything to do with my aversion to eating liver.

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Who's your favorite Greek god or goddess? Eros. He had some issues with fidelity, but that's par for the course I guess. Mind you, Dionysus didn't help things much with those blasted wine keggers every night of the week.

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What's your favorite kind of pie? A flaming pie.

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my weed plant has been growing for about 2, 3 months and it's dying how do I save it? Dial 9-1-1 before it's too late.

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How much does a baby Macaroni Penguin weigh? Before, or after boiling it in hot water?

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Have you ever taken the Activia Challange? Did it, and still doing it. I'm regular like clockwork, baby. You could set an Internet Time Server by my colon activity. Actually, a number of African nations already do. It's a free service I offer, for the good of humanity and such.

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What would you do if you find me sleeping with yo mom? Offer my sincerest condolences.

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If one of your questions resurfaces after a few months do you go through and give more points to good answers because your higher level now allows you to? Yeah. I give good answers all the points I can give, but sometimes I wish I had more. In those cases, they get "upgrades" when I have the ability.

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What do you call four naked men? The Full Monty, minus two?

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Are you like an onion? I'm multi-layered, not to everyone's tastes, and have been known to make people cry by accident. But I'm also sweet, especially if you butter me up and give a little warmth. So yeah, I'm like an onion. ^_^

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The time has come for cold, and overcoats... What does your winter coat look like? I wear a black leather trenchcoat, similar to the one in avallach's pictures.

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Why have they not found Osama Bin Laden? It's sound policy to have at least one bogeyman on the loose, in order to ensure continued military spending. If the fear and anger levels were to subside, there may be calls from the masses to divert some of those funds to other initiatives like... oh, I dunno, social welfare programs.

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Do we really need to keep our minds "outta the gutter"? No, but we may have to start going down there in shifts; demand usually exceeds the available space. Unless... everyone agrees it's okay to get a little more close and cozy down there... <wink wink> <nudge nudge>. Aie! I seem to have fallen in again, accidentally. Thanks to whoever broke my fall. But who pinched my bottom?? ^_^

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Which ABer do you think has the cutest avatar? Fun.

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Have you ever questioned God? No. Apparently it's been some time since He's granted an interview directly to a follower. His publicist told me not to get my hopes up; the wait list is long.

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Do you love your sister/s? No. We're estranged, and that's for the best. I'd have to give serious thought before I'd even attend her funeral. Harsh? Yeah. But sometimes you need to separate yourself from unhealthy people to protect your own health.

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What book are you reading right now and why? "Stand & Deliver: The Autobiography" by Adam Ant -- A very personal look at how one man used his music star lifestyle to cope with the symptoms of Bipolar disorder. It was intriguing to see how fragile he was. A very good book. I love biographies.

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Someone stole my question, where can I find it? Not stolen, just lost. Under the cushions on the couch, of course. But if you find any change, that's mine. ^_^

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If the Internet has no boundaries, then why do we need Windows, or Gates? You don't. Or, at least I don't. ^_^ Of course, I fully support everyone's right to use an expensive, feature-limited, virus-prone, spyware program that calls home to its corporate headquarters every day: http://www.news.com/Microsofts+antipiracy+tool+phones+home+daily/21-�1016_3-6081286.html ...

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In the game of chess, why is it that white makes the first move? Anyone who has read much of the history of popular gaming knows that chess originated as a racist game. In fact, I've just finished reading a rather fascinating book that described how in the original version, the black side had two rows of pawns. I suppose that we should feel some comfort in knowing that the current revision has some semblance of fairness, even though it's...

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If you knew that a book is huanted, would you read it? "The Haunted Book"? Sounds like something from R.L. Stine. I wouldn't read it, but I'm sure the kids would enjoy it. ^_^

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Roses are red, violets are blue...(please finish) Just a few quickies: Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got the clap, And now, so do you. --- Roses are red, violets are blue, I love you, dear Sandra. Uh, Selma? Er, Sue? --- Roses are red, violets are blue, Meter and rhyming schemes are hard, Phooey.

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Which song would you like to never hear again? "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane. Or Chris LeDoux. Or Rascal Flatts. Or anyone else who's thinking of covering it again. Don't get me wrong. It was a GOOD song -- the first 10,000 times I heard it. Enough. Stop. Please. kthanxbye

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When you think of answerbag users, which member pops into your head first? I suppose it varies, depending on how much interaction I've had with different people recently. Currently, it's PrettyPirate. =)

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I let someone borrow my leopard print thongs and they have not given them back! What should I do? Allow yourself time to go through the 5 Stages of Grief (Kübler-Ross) until you realize that they are never coming back. To assist you in your journey, I suggest you: - Rent "Indecent Proposal" then write a brief essay about the effects of involving third parties in intimate relationships. Theme: Do they really ever survive a loan? - Hold a memorial service. - Observe a...

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Has anyone taken the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, and what was, or is, your "type"? (Introvert/Extrovert; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling; and Judging/Perceiving.) I've taken a few different versions of the test, and I'm always INTJ (Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ

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Why is a large bottle of Crown Royal referred to as a 40 pounder? 40 ouncer = 40 pounder Drink enough of that big bottle, and your head will feel like it was hit by it instead. =)

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Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Touch my monkey! Only if you can provide me with a current record of vaccination, including rabies. (And good luck with this question, BTW. When I posted it not long ago, it was deleted.)

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How many of your questions have the AB admins deleted? I've lost at least two, perhaps more. The most recent deletion I just noticed now, because another user just reposted it: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/429560

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Have you ever been all revved up with no place to go? You took the words right out of my mouth! Yeah, that happened to me just recently. So I just stayed home and had some meatloaf.

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Who loves ya baby? Telly? Is that you? I already told you, my gate doesn't swing that way. And besides, aren't you dead? ^_^

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I have white stuff around my mouth, What could it be? Tooth paste? Oreo cookie filling? Whipped cream? S... something else. White... It'll come to me.

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How do you truly get over someone that you love? Simple answer: It takes time. I think you can get over most heartbreaks, though you may always have a special place in your heart for your first love. Or at least I do... I still have every card and letter she ever wrote, stored in a little box. We broke up 23 years ago after 3 months of puppy love. But it was a special time in my life. ^_^

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Why are your pants down? Choose one: (a) I just wanted to establish once and for all, who the big man really is around here. (or) (b) It's part of my charity work, to bring laughter and hope to the less fortunate.

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?tneipicer eht fo redluohs eht revo daer t'nac elpoep os sdrawkcab enoemos ot rettel a nettirw reve ouy evaH .yas ot gnitseretni taht gnihtyna dah reven ev'I, yltsenoH

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Do the woman & men in wife swap actually sleep with each others spouses? Yes, but that detail isn't mentioned during the contract signing because it tends to be a 'deal-breaker'. (Trivia: The clause is in small print, on the bottom of page 93.) On one episode where they showed a 'swapped pair' enter a bedroom and close the door behind them, the post-production crew had to completely replace the sound because they couldn't edit out...

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Have you ever had an AB Stalker? Someone that either constantly follows your answers and downrates you or snidely comments on your answers? If so, what do you do? (not that I'm having that problem) I don't have one. I think. {looks over shoulder} I don't have one. {looks over shoulder} I think. {looks over shoulder} Thanks for making me paranoid. ^_^ {looks over shoulder}

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I woke up this morning beside a naked stranger. What do I do? Book a test at the free clinic.

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Do men actually enjoy going down on a woman? Depends on the woman. ^_^ Uhm, generally, if a man expresses willingness to go down on you, it's because he actually wants to, and not out of some sense of obligation. :)

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Do you honk your horn to people when you drive? Not usually. Sometimes I use... er, 'sign language' to communicate my feelings to other drivers. ^_^

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Got a song for Fox "News"? - "Lies" by Billy Talent (or Thompson Twins) - "Crazy Talk" by Chilliwack (or, "Stone Cold Crazy" by Queen) - "Dare To Be Stupid" by 'Weird Al' Yankovic (or, "I'm So Stupid" by Madonna) Take your pick.

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Do you have a partner in crime? I did. He knew too much.

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How many questions do you have over 50 points? How many answers? Questions >50: 3 (of ~80) Answers >50: 0 (of ~800. Phooey!)

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How many others besides me are getting sick and tired of people with no sense of humor unjustly flagging humorous questions? I was just informed Jay was here has ben PBed for asking too many crazy thoughts questions that got flagged and I for one am mad. Ridiculous. I enjoyed JWH's recent string of silly questions, and so did a majority of others based on their high ratings. He even got his own silly question in recognition of this feat: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/421175 In any case, Jay writes plenty of great "normal" questions. Why shouldn't he (and we) have a bit of fun every now and again? If this place...

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Ladies: Can I see you naked, please? :) Before answering, keep in mind these two things: (1.) It's Friday and I'm in a happy, flirty mood. (2.) I did say please. (3.) You'd feel bad if you downrated me and then I disappeared suddenly because of some possible gambling debts that I'm not admitting I have just because I happened to mention them. (4.) We'll never be on the same room, ever, anyway. ...

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What does your smiley face look like? =O) ^_^ It's happier in the eyes than in the lips, just like me in real life.

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How old are you? How old is your current bf, gf, or spouse? 37/31

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Why did Fun delete all of her friends? I still wanna be her friend :) Too many people were asking to borrow money, pestering her to help them move, and trying to get advance copies of her forthcoming book "Bacon du Jour: 365 Fun Recipes for 'Makin' the Bacon'". (And no, I didn't get a copy either.)

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Who would like to congratulate me for finally becoming a Brain after more than a year of bagging? Congratulations! It's been a long haul. ^_^

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Who wants to join me in congratulating my pickle Ender on making Maestro? Woot! w00t! (pickle?) (no - don't tell me ^_^)

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Today is Fun's last day on chemo. Who would like to join me in congratulating Fun on making it through chemo and wish her well at her doctor's appointment today? Yay Fun! My thoughts will truly be with you today, Fun, and frequently from now on. I'm sorry to say that I had no idea ... :(

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What does the sound of Gulls overhead remind you of? The importance of "duck and cover".

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If I invited you to a wedding and clothing was optional, would you come? Sure. I've already seen hundreds of people naked. If I'm not scare-proof, nobody is. ^_^

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What's your favorite scene from "The Jerk"? Writing the lawsuit settlement cheques: "Pay to the order of Mrs. Wilbur Stark, one dollar and nine cents!" "Pay to the order of 'Iron Balls' McGinty, one dollar and NINE CENTS!"

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Atheists-what is your favourite bible quote? Isn't this kinda like asking PETA members to submit their favourite meatloaf recipe? =)

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About how much bad karma did I gain by popping a housefly on the back of its head with the flick of my finger? -3 points. However, you can easily regain that by rating this answer positively. Additionally, if you pop Ann Coulter in the back of the head, that's worth a 300 karma point credit, which will offset the future flicking of 100 addition flies at your leisure. NOTE: Karma points don't expire like Air Miles or Gift Card balances. ADDENDUM: Well, actually they do expire,...

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Generally speaking, do girls prefer guys with long or short hair? Loooooooong. Well, on their heads anyway. ;)

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Do you think that people have had enough of silly love songs? Heather Mills has.

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What kind of photographer are you? Weddings Parties Anything (Ask about my lingerie special -- half off!) (Also, nudes... 100% off - for a limited time).

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What is the WORST pick up line you have heard? Eg At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh? Can I help?" Nice bum. Where're you from?

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I appreciate when other women look at my guy. For me, it just means I choose a great guy! How about you? My wife notices women look at me, and has pointed out on a few occasions where I've been asked for directions or other information that they were flirting with me. I thought they were just being friendly. Anyway, apparently that's a no-no for her.

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What's with all the recent "naked" questions? Not that I'm complaining : ) The Flirt-O-Meter was dipping into the low range, and we compensated accordingly. Yaaaaaaaaay TEAM.

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Where is the best place you have had sex? Outdoors, on a sunny afternoon, on a cliff overlooking a waterfall. Amazing.

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What is your sexuality and have you ever thought about becoming a different one? I'm straight. I can tell the difference between an attractive man and an unattractive one, but neither can light my fire. I love women. Ladies beware -- I'm mentally undressing you as we speak, while secretly wishing you'd save me the trouble. ;-)

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Is there a part of your body that always seems colder than the rest? If I tell you, will you rub it to keep it warm?

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If you had a Wookie, what would you name it? {{{Star Wars nerd mode ON}}} He'd already *have* a name. Don't you read Wookieepedia? WOOKIEES [note the spelling] are intelligent creatures with a unique language and culture. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wookies {{{Star Wars nerd mode OFF}}} Uhm... Schnookums? :)

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I have just recently recieved bad news from Blank Savage's brother. Sadly it seems Blank was found dead in his barn yesterday. The autopsy said heart failure. He left a poem in the event that something like this would happen. Poem in the answer. :( If this is the case, I'm sorry to know he's been lost. While I hate to be a doubter, I must say I'm surprised that although he was only found dead yesterday (Oct 9th) an autopsy has already been completed by morning/mid-day today (Oct 10th), with a conclusive result. It must not be a very busy hospital. And also, I'm wondering who logged in to his account today (which...

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Do other people in your life know about your AB friends? Shouldn't we have like a weird buddy system so that if G-d forbid anything happened to you, someone from AB would be contacted? How would your AB friends know? (I'm panicking.) I keep my web habits mostly to myself. If I died, no one would know to contact you, or any of my other haunts. At this point, no one here would probably notice. It's a busy site. However, my email address is still on my page, should anyone wish to check up. When I do go, I intend to just fade away into the background noise. No fanfare.

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If you discovered a new country, island, state, etc., what would you name it? Fantasy Island. To hell with ABC and their lawyers, it's my island, and my fantasies. :)

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How many times have you been engaged? Three times. And yeah, the third time WAS the charm. :)

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Will you scratch my back? Sure. Can we exchange?

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Is a back scratch really better than sex? OR AT LEAST UP THERE? It's damn good. And you can "do it" with friends and not be cheating. :) Try THAT with sex. (Actually, don't.)

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I lost a bet to my friend Sarah and now I have to run down my own block at midnight in any way she wants me to. She says I have to ask you guys for suggestions. Can you please go easy on me, I'm very shy! Sorry. I can't see you making any midnight runs with clothes on. What would be the "loss" in doing it clothed? Just pray that there's no video cameras with nightvision capturing the escapade. :)

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I am feeling a little down and sad today....need some tlc..? Smile. You're beautiful, you're smart, you have a good job, and you're nice. What's to be sad about? (((hugs)))

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After how long should women start sharing the cost of the date? On a date with me? Never. Call me old fashioned ("YOU'RE OLD FASHIONED!!!") but whenever I've taken a lady to dinner, her company was all the "repayment" I needed. And I still "date" my wife once a week. :)

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Are you naughtier here at Answerbag than in real life? I am ;) I'm ... hmmm ... utterly repressed in real life. So this is one of the few outlets I have to be a bit crazy. Thank you AB, and thanks also to the lovely residents.

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If you were caught in the nude what would you say It depends where their eyes were looking and/or how long they lingered. If they looked at any of the significant bits in my midsection, I might ask for an assessment. ;)

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What is a website that you go to everytime you get on a computer? gmail or distrowatch.com

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When was the last time you skinny dipped and with who? About 10 years ago, with a mixed group of friends, during daylight hours at a cabin by the lake.

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Do you think people who talk up their physical attractiveness lack moral fiber? Possibly, but I'm more inclined to assume that they lack substance in general.

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What color is your vehicle and do you like it? Ask me: It's black According to the manufacturer: It's "metallic charcoal"

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If you founds someone skinny dipping, would you steal their clothes? Nah. I'd use them as a dry place to sit while I cheered and applauded loudly. :)

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Which car company would you want to own? Toyota, Honda, or Nissan in that order. As much as I'd love to support the "home team", the rest of the world still hasn't matched Japanese auto manufacturing prowess. I support them as a consumer, so naturally I'd want to own them (particularly Toyota).

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Are you Salty, Spicy or Bland? Bland hardshell coating, sweet and sour chewy centre. Not everyone's taste, I know.

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Which Bob Marley song is your favorite: One Love, Exodus, Jammin or I shot the Sherriff? Forever Loving Jah.

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Are you ready for KDE 4.0? Definitely. I've been a little disappointed at the delay, but I'd rather they release a "perfect" version. It'll make a nice Christmas present. While I'm a pretty hardcore Linux user, I have to say that I'm most curious to see how it will port to other non-X11-based operating systems. At times I'm still forced to use Windows (like at work), and...

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How to update bios Try these instructions: http://www.pcstats.com/articleview.cfm?articleID=1633

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Whats your favorite P2P downloader and why... I like Frostwire. It's a high quality and totally FREE open source fork of LimeWire PRO. It's simple to use, feature rich, multi-platform (Windows, Mac OSX and Linux), and doesn't include any of the extra junk software that Limewire used to sneak onto your computer. http://www.frostwire.com/

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Whats the best free video editing software?? and what site can i get it? Advanced features + $0 price tag? It'd have to be open source. Try Jahshaka: http://www.jahshaka.org/ (just be sure you're downloading the Jahshaka application itself, and not just Jahplayer and jplayer).

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Where can I download Photoshop for free SAFELY? And how can I know for sure that it is safe? That's software piracy, so I can't help you there. Try The GIMP or GIMPshop: http://www.gimp.org/ http://www.gimpshop.com/

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Are you in danger of becoming a member of Assholes Anonymous? Sadly, I was outed, so I founded "Assholes Unanimous" for others like me.

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Have you ever considered dating someone on Answerbag? No, but then I'm married. I met my wife through the Internet about 9 years ago, so I know it's possible to make a match electronically. However, I have kids now, and I don't think I would ever marry again if it somehow fell apart. Hypothetically, if I were divorced and there was someone interested in me (?)... and they were accepting of the fact that I probably wouldn't...

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How to delete questions from answerbag- if not answered? You can't, but there are options. (1.) Delete your avatar, change your user name to anonymous, and quit using this account. Then, start over again with another account. (2.) Write a bunch of new questions... so that the embarrassing ones get buried under a pile of good ones.

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What's your favorite crappy song? The hidden track ("Love Song") on Alice In Chains' Sap [EP]. So funny. :)

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Will Dave Grohl ever get a new guitar? Probably not. You'd be surprised how much you can love an instrument. I still regret trading my first guitar, but I learned my lesson. Once, at a private gig, a guy offered to pay me more than 3 times what I'd paid for the bass I was playing that night. I had to decline. Now, I'll often pick up that bass (still my favorite - the one I'm holding in my avatar) and think,...

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Your favorite lyrics?? share a part of it? Subdivisions (by Rush) Words by Neil Peart Sprawling on the fringes of the city In geometric order An insulated border In between the bright lights And the far unlit unknown Growing up it all seems so one-sided Opinions all provided The future pre-decided Detached and subdivided In the mass production zone Nowhere is the dreamer Or the misfit so alone Subdivisions --- In...

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Do you work day, swing,grave, or home when ever? Day shift. 7 to 3, 9 to 5, whenever, really... so long as I do my 7.5 hours (plus paid lunch).

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Do people know you're serious when you mean to be, and joking when you are joking, or do you sometimes send mixed messages? I have a dry sense of humour and often times a deadpan delivery. Many people love the combination, but it's ripe for misunderstanding.

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Who will join me in congratulating myself for no other reason than I feel that I deserve it? No, but I can offer a complimentary arm and shoulder massage should you strain yourself from patting your own back too vigorously. :)

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Is anyone else at least a level 30, and still not an expert in any category yet? Yes! I'm at level 38 (as of this writing), and yet I have mastered nothing. :) Actually, I probably could make a run at several categories related to my job, education and interests, but I prefer to 'skeet shoot' at whatever is scrolling across the front page. :)

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Are you a minimalist? y

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What's a good music video to watch to make you feel better? "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim You can't help but love Christopher Walken.

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Does AB really have a yearly gathering, or was that just a made up question about having a gathering in the, dare I say it, nude? I think it's a clothing-optional event (you'd have to ask Carmella to be sure) but chances are that the only nude people there will be MG and the Freebaggers. (Of course, I could be making all this up...)

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Did you pay for your operating system? No, and I didn't have to. I use Linux and the vast majority of the current "brands" of Linux (called "distributions") are FREE of charge. I really love Debian and Kubuntu. If you're curious and want to try Linux, but are a bit scared of trying something new, I'd recommend installing: Mint - http://linuxmint.com/ or... PCLinuxOS -...

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CA Governor Arnold's is long, Michael J. Fox's is short... Pink doesn't have one, while Pope Benedict XVI doesn't use his. Could you guess what I'm talking about? Last name.

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Do you believe in interracial marriage? I've had several relationships with non-white women, met an exceptionally special one seven years ago, and married her 5 years ago. So I guess you could say I 'believe' in interracial relationships. More correctly, I believe in relationships, period. Culture, race, and ethnicity can be an insurmountably large or reasonably small barrier depending upon the two people in...

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What are most of the solar system's planets named for? Roman and Greek gods. http://starchild.gsfc.nasa.gov/docs/StarChild/questions/question48.html

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What is the difference between koolade and crystal light? Crystal Light has no calories because the flavour mix includes an artificial sweetener. With Kool Aid, you add your own sugar by the cupload. (Aie!)

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A have about 8 prescription eyeglasses that I no longer can wear. I have heard about an organization that accepts these and tries to fit them to people who cannot afford glasses. Do any of you know what that organization is? Lions Club (International) is one of the largest organizations I know of that does eyeglass recycling (in addition to more advanced vision help, like blindness-prevention and surgery). Find a local club in your phone book, or on their website. http://www.lionsclubs.org/EN/content/vision_index.shtml

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Surely, you can't be serious? Before someone else says it, let's get it over with. "I'm completely serious. And don't call me Shirley." :)

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What does your desktop look like? Post a picture! My beloved first-born. :)

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Do you ever down-rate a question or answer on AB just because you don't share the author's opinion? Why? No, and I routinely uprate questions that I see being trolled just because the subject or opinion expressed is controversial.

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Why do you think men reach their sexual peak in their 20s while women reach it in their 30s? I know this is a commonly held idea (that men peak much earlier than women), but I'm not certain how true it is. It certainly doesn't apply to me. I'm in my mid-30s and my desire and my performance are only increasing with age. I wish I could get off work early today. :)

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Who sang the 80's song My Obsession? The band was Animotion. =================== You are an obsession I cannot sleep I am a possession Unopened at your feet There is no balance No equality Be still I will not accept defeat I will have you Yes I will have you I will find a way and I will have you Like a butterfly A wild butterfly I will collect you and capture you You are an obsession You're my...

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The guy accross the hall has this large swelling in the front of his trousers, can anyone help? As much as I'm open to lending a hand to someone in obvious need, I'll pass this time.

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What is your favorite old school video game? Too many to choose just one, so I'll try to keep the lists short. 1980s: The Bard's Tale, Lode Runner, Pac Man, Time Pilot, Leisure Suit Larry, Castle Wolfensetin 1990s: Mortal Kombat, The Seventh Guest, DOOM (and iD games in general).

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You do know that you're beautiful, don't you? Okay Jay, how much do you need? (opens wallet, counts bills) :)

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Tell me please...What would you do for money, honey? (just a silly one here.. don't get too worked up now, notice the category I chose) The funky chicken.

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What browser are you using right now? I find Firefox to be faster, more customizable, and much more secure (vulnerabilities are fixed within days, not weeks, and tend to be much less serious than IE problems). A good overview of Firefox's features: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Features_of_Mozilla_Firefox

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What is your favorite company slogan? Slogans from famous companies: - Cockspur (rum): "The bionic cock that spurs you on!" (I've seen it printed on T-shirts, but not used in print ads to my knowledge) - "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." (Electrolux is a Scandinavian company, and has had gaffes in translation, just as North American companies have had in overseas ad campaigns) Slogans from local,...

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Stop that! Don't you know that you'll go blind?! Not if I poke someone else first. (keeps running with scissors, narrowly avoiding the obvious masturbation joke)

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What's the first word that comes to your mind using the letter B? Brownies... as in 'chocolate'. Mmmmmmmm...

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Hello. is it me your looking for? No Lionel, and I would think that your many relationships and divorces would have prompted you to look for help with your infidelity problems. :)

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What is the friendliest breed of dog? Labrador Retriever. They are wonderful family dogs and great with kids. Wikipedia says it best: "They are exceptionally affable, gentle, intelligent, energetic and good natured, making them both excellent companions and working dogs. Although somewhat boisterous if untrained, Labrador Retrievers respond well to praise and positive attention, and are considerably "food and...

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Is The Commodores' "Three Times A Lady" a tribute to fat women? Yes! At least according to Wikipedia: "Lionel Richie wrote the song about his love for the larger lady, hence 'Once, Twice, Three Times [the size of] a Lady'. It became the Commodores's first Billboard Hot 100 number-one hit, topping the chart for two weeks on August 12, 1978. It was also the only Motown song to reach the Top 10 that year." ...

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Can you undo a bra with one hand and without looking, with one smooth motion? Yes. One gentle pinch with my thumb and forefingers and it comes off easily. Guys: Here's a helpful video for you to enjoy. Ladies: Here's something for you to laugh at: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-undo-her-bra-with-one-hand

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Who's your favorite radio personality? Me. Runner-up: Chick McGee from the Bob & Tom Show. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_McGee

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The comic’s character Beetle Bailey has a sister who has her own comic strip, what is her name? (I can't believe this wasn't answered already.) Lois from the comic strip "Hi and Lois".

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How do you wish to be remembered? As a man who paid his debt to society. And not as: "Hey! That jerk still owes me five bucks!"

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What are the “Fifty ways to leave your lover”? Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free

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What would my first words be if I saw what you looked like when you got out of bed in the morning? You did, and the police were called due to the screaming. Here's an excerpt from the police report: "And the beast was seized, and with him the false prophet who performed the signs in his presence, by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped his image; these two were thrown alive into the lake of fire which burns with...

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Is FOX news a 24 hour satirical comedy show? Yes, but the deadpan delivery of the actors has millions convinced that it's a real news channel. I find that if you close your eyes and just listen to the material, the ridiculousness comes shining through. And I'm not the only fan: "I laughed, I cried, I nearly died. My belly hasn't shook this hard since 1964's 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'....

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If you changed your name to a symbol, what would you choose or design? "?" I think I'm an enigma to other people, and often to myself.

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Did you reach your parents expectations? Oh yeah. I wasn't expected to amount to much, so I exceeded that years ago. My own expectations are (naturally) much higher, and I'm still working on those. (And making damn fine progress, I might add.) ;)

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If you weren't able to get online and "mysteriously disappeared" from AB for a while, which of your fellow AB'rs would miss you the most? No, but then I haven't stayed away for longer than about 3-5 days at a time. I'd be curious to see if anyone noticed me gone after a few weeks, but not too surprised if they didn't. There's a lot of activity here, and I'm too busy to swim with the big fish. :)

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How do I earn a master's degree in social work? Request information and applications packages from a number of graduate schools that you know are offering the degree (not all levels are offered at all schools with a social work department). Be prepared to apply to several schools. Admission requirements are surprisingly high. You may be able to get current information regarding the GPA cutoff needed to realistically gain a spot by...

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When you make pancakes, do you always pour the first one for the gods? Usually I pour the first one for the dogs, because it never cooks right in the pan and breaks when I try to scrape it out. I think this little "offering" works, because the second and subsequent pancakes always turn out fine. :)

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What are some good pirate names? - "Filthy" Phil Philanderer - Capt. Stubby Stumpthumper - Scurvy the Toothless

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What's your birthday? A yearly ritual of mourning, followed by cake and presents. "Dearly Beloved, we gather here today to witness the hapless ambling of a nondescript, nearly middle-aged bureaucrat as he shuffles down the mortal coil and into impending obscurity. "And now, before we don the party hats and noise-makers... a moment's silence..." :)

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What do you want for your birthday??? A gift certificate for a 1 hour full body massage.

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What is your favorite body part? My brain. It has gotten more fit and functional with age, unlike the package that covers and transports it...

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Do u think underage teenage gurls should have sex with 18 and older guys? I think teens should remain teens as long as possible, and not become the sexual playthings of predators who should really desire to attract and retain a partner within their own age range, were they not psychologically flawed.

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When does human life begin? Daily, after 5 PM (weekends: 24 hours).

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If cloning humans was possible, would you go to Clones-R-Us to purchase a clone of your favorite celebtity to have as a boyfriend/girlfriend? No, because I'm certain it would be overpriced and of inferior quality, like most celebrity-endorsed merchandise. P.S. "celebtity"? Freudian slip or what? :)

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What is your favorite style of beer? (not brand) Pilsner (when I still drank).

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Who wants to join me in a big Thank You to the women of the world for being so sweet, smiley, nice-smelling, smooth, huggable, and schmoochable? Yay, women!!! Well... I can't say that I've tried them all, but based on my personal and non-scientifically chosen sample of subjects, I find myself in marginally-complete semi-agreement with you. Yaaaaaayyyyyy SOME! :) And thanks to all who assisted me with this study. Your participation was, on average, generally somewhat appreciated. And, in other cases, it was fully appreciated but for...

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I want to record a clip of my voice that's longer than the 60 seconds Windows sound recorder allows. What can I use? Use Audacity. http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ It's free and (in my opinion) about as simple to use as a cassette recorder. However, it has a lot of features that make it good for multitracking and podcasting, too.

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What is the staple food of your country in your opinion? In Ireland it's potatoes. Staple foods? Here in Canada it's beer, back bacon, Kraft Dinner, beer, perogies, pea soup, beer, poutine, "Montreal" smoked meat, and beer. Oh, and Tim Horton's coffee for the non-drinkers.

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Are you here or there? I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. So beware. Yours truly, ~ Savoir Faire

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How do i remove trojan-downloader.tiny.id? Spyware Doctor claims to be able to remove this, but it is not free software (it scans, but will not repair). However a free version has been released as part of Google Pack: http://pack.google.com "Spyware Doctor Starter Edition" will detect and remove spyware, adware, trojans and keyloggers. Give it a try.

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Is there anyone that hates you? Oh yeah. I think a bunch of them finally got together and started a list on PetitionOnline.com, actually. Sign-up Special Limited Time Offer: Tell 'em I sent you, and you can sign your name with the font of our choice. Of course, I could be making all of this up.

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What would makes you exists. I thinked there, for am I?

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What would makes you tic. Tourette's disorder.

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Friends don't let friends do what? - Wear fur - Do "The Macarena" and/or "The Bird Dance" - Eat quiche - Shop at Wal-Mart - Join MySpace - Wear Crocs - Use Internet Explorer - Bungee-jump over Alligators - Dial Drunk - Marry Drunks

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Is it true that we're all a little gay on the inside? Yes, sexuality is a continuum of preference and behaviour. That being said, a recent assay confirms that I contain microscopic, trace amounts of gayness. :)

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Whose suicide (celebrity or not) keeps you asking "Why? Why?" years later? Whose suicide can you understand, even if you don't agree with it? I'm perplexed by Brad Delp (lead vocalist for Boston). He was about to be married and go back on the road to tour. Why end it? I'm also still bothered by comedian Richard Jeni, who had a wit, a voice, and a delivery that was the envy of many stand up comics. Never saw that one coming either. However, I was not surprised when Kurt Cobain shot himself. I just wish he'd...

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Have you ever wondered how does the people whom you are answering or receiving answers from (in AB)looks like?(provided they have no display pic.) A lot of users with avatars have still posted actual pictures of themselves in this thread: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1105345 So there's no need to be curious -- just patient (as you scroll through page after page after...). :)

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Abort, Retry, Fail? (And why did you make that choice?) If at first the drive won't read: Retry, retry again.

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Is that guy from Kids in the Hall also the voice actor for that green alien from Lilo and Stitch? If you're talking about Agent Pleakley, yes, he is voiced by Kevin McDonald of the Kids In The Hall.

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Wanna do it like they do on the discovery channel? No thanks, Jimmy Pop. :)

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What has been your lowest rated answer or question on AB? ANSWER: What's so good about having sex with a virgin? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1390129 QUESTION: Would you like to touch my monkey? Berühre meinen affen! Liebe meinen affen-monkey! (Keep in mind ~ this was posted in Crazy Thoughts. Apparently the person that gave me -5 didn't care.) http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/409640

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Do you really resemble your avatar? What quality about you does it represent? My avatar is me. It's deliberately not a symbol or abstraction because I don't believe in fake online identities (for me -- everyone else is free to do what they want). I got quite enough of that already during late 80s/early 90s when "online" still meant computer Bulletin Board Systems (BBSs). Anyway, the original picture in my avatar appears in this lot: ...

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What would you rather have, an Australia accent, or a Canadian accent? Canadian, I guess. That's what I already have. Wait... I have an accent? :) http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1369354

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Do you have any unanswered question, that you still want a answer for...whats the link? I keep seeing ads for 'strip aerobics' classes. How far do people actually strip in during these workouts? http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/399995

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How many times have you coveted the golden AB cup? I've only done it once! It takes more time than I have to be realistically competitive for it. After work and family obligations are met, and real-life social engagements... how much time is left to be on the Internet? A few minutes here, a few minutes there.

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What was your favorite quote from the Lord of the Rings movies? Gollum : What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh? Sam : Po-tay-toes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish. Even you couldn't say no to that. Gollum : Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and wrigglin'. You keep nasty chips. Sam : You're hopeless.

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How far do you live from your birthplace? Currently I live 2,937 km (1,825 miles) away from "home" (or, about 1 day 11 hours by car), and I've just realized this is the furthest away I've ever lived (including the period where I lived in another country).

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How would you dispose of a Jetpack? Freecycle it to another Answerbagger. http://www.freecycle.org

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Have you ever dreamt about another Answer Bagger? If so, who and what happened? I'm afraid I'm too visually oriented to extrapolate much from the 64x64 pixel avatars, and no-one's emailed me any reeeeeeeeally good pictures that might set my brain aflame. ;) No pictures at all, actually... SO - that email address again is... :)

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What does your baby drive? A Fisher-Price tricycle. But only to the edge of the driveway and back. :)

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What is your accent? No I won't forget the "Yee Haw!". Or the handclaps. Or the bird tweeting. Awesome recording. :)

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What college did you go to and do you recommend it to people? My degrees are from University of Manitoba and Carleton University, and both were very good schools.

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I am set to marry my 57 year old boyfriend. I am 18. We are in love. Im not stupid. I know the difficulties to come. Is this morally wrong? Is he a bad guy? I really love him to pieces. Hes not a sugar daddy, I have a real dad. Be serious. There nothing "morally" wrong as you are of the age of consent. Consider carefully whether you are willing and able to care for the health problems he may experience in the next 10 years. Some of us are in decline, or even die by our mid 60s. Alzheimer's, incontinence, stroke... just know that it could happen, and think about what you'll do. I wish you well.

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What comes first chemistry or physical attraction? Physical attraction reels me in. Chemistry keeps me from flopping out of the boat, and back into the sea again. :) Keep on fishin'! ;-)

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OH thank you AB for fixing the friend delete feature. I had a couple I needed to delete. Anyone else feel the necessary itch to delete anyone? I haven't deleted anyone. I do check my list every now and again to see if anyone's "missing" (i.e. they deleted me). No deserters... yet... :)

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For those of you that were called "brains", "geeks", "nerds" in school, how has your life turned out so far? I wasn't a "brain" in primary and secondary school... more like a nerd/underachiever. I didn't figure out that I was smart until I started university, and actually tried for the first time in my life. When I did well, I was floored. The "nerd" was inspired, and tried to see what else he could achieve. So I did 2 degrees at university, ran my own...

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Do you have a degree? What in? Master of Social Work, Bachelor of Social Work, Bachelor of Arts (Psychology, Sociology).

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Law and Order or CSI? Law & Order (Original Series, SVU and Criminal Intent *with* Chris Noth). But I miss Jerry Orbach (RIP).

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My female friend wants me to massage her back,what do you think of that? If massage is something you're known for, and you feel comfortable working on her, do it. If massage isn't a particular talent of yours, or you just don't feel comfortable, don't do it. There's not enough background information here for me to establish much context. You're the expert of your own life. :)

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Does anyone else here find the SMILING BOB commercials to be totally funny? They crack us up at my house...gotta love old smiling Bob and his rather air headed appearing wife.... the impressed neighbors and the WOOD backgrounds. too funny! I'm most amused that this guy will never have another decent acting job again. He's famous for all the worst reasons. I'm sure he can't even walk down a street without people pointing at him. There's something about that eerie smile though... :)

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What is your favorite RPG Game? Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, First Edition. (If it ain't broke, don't fix it.)

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Where in the hell is Limbo? Under the bamboo pole...

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Do you chase women/men? My doctor has recommend woman-chasing as an enjoyable form of aeobic exercise. Of course, I think he got his M.D. from one of those Internet "get a degree for the life experience you already have" colleges, so this may not be sound medical advice.

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Why aren't you famous yet? I quit the music biz, I can't act, I don't have an agent, and none of my remaining talents is hype-able (honestly, how many famous massage practitioners do you know?).

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Do you find it comfortable to sleep in the nude? Yeah. And even if I don't start out that way, I usually wake up that way somehow. Sleep-stripping I guess...

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Have you ever just felt like awarding random points to random people? No, I'd rather award oodles of points to special people. :)

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Who would like to join me on a month-long AB camping trip? No, thanks.

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What was the last thing that kept you up at night? Unrequited lust. :) Been there?

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?citcelsyd uoy erA .ylreporp ti lleps nac I tub, oN

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What author after you read one of their books made you read everything they have written? - Michael Moorcock (Elric series) - J.K. Rowling - Fred Saberhagen (Swords series)

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What are your favorite reruns? - Red Dwarf - The Kids In The Hall - SCTV - Trailer Park Boys - Star Trek (any series) - M*A*S*H

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If an AB member died would we know it or would they just disappear? I think most of us would just disappear, with no way for the rest to know why. If you have an account there, Facebook would probably be an easier way to get information about a person. My friend base there is much more diverse, so chances are good that one of them would know if I was dead or alive. But here, I haven't really established any email or phone contacts where people could...

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Do you ever take in stray dogs off the street? My wife and I used to run a dog rescue out of our home. After the kids arrived there wasn't the time anymore. Our old website still exists though, and directs traffic to other active organizations in the area.

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When (what date 00/00/00, or approximately) did you become a member here at AB? 15/07/07

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For married people, do you ever still think about an Ex girlfriend or boyfriend? And wonder what could have been between you too? or do you never? No... all my ex's are ex's for good reason. I sometimes have a stray "what if" thought to the ones that never happened, but nothing serious. I'm happy where I am.

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Is flirting with my female friends on AB so wrong? No, it's fine. Actually, I think it's mandatory. =)

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Do you think the girl in this picture is hot/pretty/attractive? (to the right) http://s239.photobucket.com/albums/ff318/Katelyn83088/?action=view¤t=n15935244_35469330_177.jpg She's not unattractive, physically at least. I wouldn't know how attractive she was until I spoke to her for awhile.

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My new girlfriend cuts off all of her ex-boyfriends testes and puts them in jars. Should I marry her? Her name isn't Margaret, is it? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113774/ (Watch this before you get married.)

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Name the closest thing to you that is red? An eraser in the shape of a textbook (red cover, white pages).

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Do enjoy being hugged or does it make you feel uncomfortable? I enjoy them, and don't get nearly enough.

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Which is the best free compression tool for compressing files?((according to you of course)) 7-Zip http://www.7-zip.org/

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What do the songs, “Wonderful Tonight”, “Layla”, and “Something” all have in common? They're all about Pattie Boyd.

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Have you ever been propositioned, approached, molested by a person of the same sex? I've been propositioned, yes. Whistled at, and leered at as well. No thanks. I love women. :)

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Where is your secret garden? Over at Nancy Friday's place.

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Does IMDb have a tendency to have positive reviews on American films headlining, and negative views headlining non-American films? This is just my opinion, and I don't intend to offend anyone. Although IMDb was started by an Englishman, it has always felt very American to me, and for nearly a decade now it has been American-owned (Amazon.com in Seattle). But it is primarily used by Americans, and as a whole, Americans tend to be rather... ethnocentric. They celebrate their culture. It's not bad, it's...

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Did you go to college? In Canada, "college" usually refers to a trade school which offers certificates and diplomas. By that definition, I haven't attended college. I do have 2 Bachelor's degrees and a Master's degree. I'll refrain from mentioning the universities in question, just in case they'd no longer want to be associated with me. :)

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If you had absolutely no clothes in the house, what household items would you use to cover yourself so you could go out and get some? (Extra points for creativity) I'm torn between wax paper and newspaper. Wax paper is a good choice because usually it just sits in the drawer and doesn't get used for anything anyway. Plus, with a little oil you can make it more translucent, and upgrade the naughtiness factor of your outfit. (Which is already significantly naughty. LOL!) Newspaper is good because it's plentiful. I'd use the...

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Do you have a uterus, m'dear? No, but my wife has let me stow a couple of packages in hers over the last 5 years.

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Do you like white chocolate? Are you a guy or a girl? I can tolerate white chocolate. I like milk chocolate. I love dark chocolate. I have a stack of 72% cocoa chocolate bars in my cupboard, and have a few squares each day. Oh, and to answer the other part of your question: My name is Jennie, and I'm a little schoolgirl from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. I like "My Little Pony" dolls and I think boys are icky.

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Wanna get married? Already did. Still married. Unlikely to change status anytime soon. :) {{{knock on wood}}}

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Do you know any AB members personally? Sadly, none. If there are any of you near Ottawa, drop me a line at answertodd {at} gmail {dot} com. I've driven through Sarnia literally dozens of times on my way to Indianapolis and back. Maybe I should consider an overnight stay there one of these days. :)

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What have you got dangling from the mirror in your car? A black skeleton, about 5 inches long. Once, at a stoplight, some hippie in a van told me how incredibly cool it was. I was almost considering giving it to him when the light changed. :)

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Have you ever walked into a spider web? Yes, and I swallowed some of it in the process. I swear, it stayed stuck to the back of my throat -- and all the swallowing in the world wouldn't melt it. It took hours until my throat felt normal again. Yuck-ola.

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GUYS Would you mind it too much if i flirted with you ? just a little. (ahem) "Go ahead. Make my day." I think flirting should be declared the official AB pastime. It's fun, non-competitive, and easier to play over the Internet than hockey or baseball.

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What's so good about having sex with a virgin? What was so good about being the first nation to place a flag on the moon? :) It's not necessarily a great experience, but some people just like being able to say they were "there" first, wherever "there" is.

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Drinks on me! What should I get you? Your choice of: - Latte or a quality coffee - Cranberry / some kinda fruit juice - Chocolate milk (for the boy inside the man) Thanks muchly. :)

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Wheres Johnny? In search of the missing apostrophe.

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If you could "uninvent" one thing in the world so that it would no longer exist, what would you choose? Richard Simmons. Well, no... Not really. But... kinda yeah. Ooooo! Damn it. I'd have to say weapons. Or, more broadly, the idea of having anything whose sole intention is to injure or kill. The human race would be better off if that idea disappeared completely.

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If Myspace offered every AB member $500 to close their account with AB, would you do it? No. I wish AB would pay me to close my account on MySpace. Even $5 would be enough... :)

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If you could choose the next level past Guru, what would you pick? Consultant. :) C'mon! There's nothing better than that. On second thought, maybe we should save that one for level 100. ;)

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Have you experienced any "phishing" questions on AB? Oh yeah. Enough to build a nice profile of any one of us: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/289207 http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/77788 http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/165437 http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/72716 http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/104848 (etc.) Put 'em all together and you can write my biography (unauthorized, of course). :-)

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I dont care if you DR this Q coz I really wanna say this. Whoever it was who URd me continiously 'til I became Level 21, thank you.Though I dont know who you are,you are my friend from now on. Please tell me who you are? Ok, now, go on. DR me if you want. You have a Guardian Angel / AB-certified Jetpack Engineer: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/356035 I have one too... and perhaps several (there's one who I know for certain, and I <3 her for it).

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What country are you from? Manitoba, Canada (but currently in Ontario, Canada)

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Is it so hard to use spell check? No. It's automatic on most good, modern word processors, and the Mozilla Firefox browser.

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Are you worth more dead than alive? No, and my wanted poster specifically requests that I be brought in alive.

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Is anyone from canada? Me! Born in Flin Flon, MB and have lived all over the place from Vancouver to Toronto.

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If you were offered $50,000 to appear in an underwear ad, this very minute, would you do it? Perhaps. I'd have to gauge public opinion by some sort of write-in campaign first. I'd hate to foist myself on a defenseless public.

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I think I may become a Guru today , being here on AB is one of the first things I've been able to see all the way through , Are you proud of me ? ( I'm in shock ) You're the best, Patti Jo. Congratulations, and enjoy your new "promotion". It's richly deserved. :)

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Are you anybody's favorite person? Nope. Ha! That was an easy question. Bring on the next one!!

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What size jean does Jessica Simpson wear? (checks his bedroom floor) Looks like... three.

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Is there a movie that you had watched more than 4 times? More than 4 times? Lots. Some of these I've probably seen more than 10 times. Alien (1979) Amadeus (1984) Army of Darkness (1992) Beauty and the Beast (1991) Blade Runner (1982) The Blues Brothers (1980) The Crow (1994) Dances with Wolves (1990) Dark City (1998) Dune (1984) The Elephant Man (1980) Excalibur (1981) Gattaca (1997) Good Will Hunting (1997) Highlander (1986)...

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Will you try anything once? Is there anything that you will NEVER give a chance? I will never try: - Drugs - Gay sex - Gay sex on drugs - Quiche

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Who was the last person you told "I hate you"? Myself, probably.

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Are you happy or sad when you see a successful person fail at something? Relieved, actually. It's comforting to have the illusion of infallibility dispelled every once in awhile, so I remember to cut myself a break for not being perfect either.

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I just installed Ubuntu. Aren't you proud of me? I'm pleased, certainly. Ubuntu is a good choice for desktop Linux, and I'm sure you'll enjoy the performance, excellent community support, lack of viruses, free software applications, etc. HOWEVER... :) Ubuntu's too easy to install for you to be too "proud" though... it's not like the old days when you needed to be a computer guru to get Linux...

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I'm thinking of switching to Linux. But, I have a lot of Windows based PC games. Can I play them on a Linux system? There are programs like Cedega that will allow you to run Windows games on Linux, but the performance can vary by game, and this is critical if it's a multiplayer first-person-shooter or something (where milliseconds count). I'd recommend that you set up a dual-boot system, and use Windows only when you want to play games. That way, you can have your gaming environment and your...

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What is the estimated population of the town/city you live in? Ottawa, Ontario: 812,129 (according to the 2006 census) http://www12.statcan.ca/english/census06/data/profiles/community/Index.cfm?Lang=E

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What is the most memorable line from a commercial? HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.

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My best looking features are my feet and earlobes, you? My shadow.

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Have you ever got up early then realise your not working that day? I wish.

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O.J. Simpson arrested, what took so long? It took awhile for his stupidity to finally eclipse his sense of impunity. :) "If I Did It", indeed...

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What will you say to people who want to get back with their ex just because they miss sex? "Been there."

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Are there any fun games to play where all the guests are adults? Strip ____________. (Anything, really.)

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I eat 3 cans of tuna a day for the protein intake. Do you like tuna? I don't like any food enough to eat three cans of it per day. :)

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Does anyone know why The Jerry Spinger Shows/Ricki Lake shows have finished? Cancellation Details: The Jerry Spinger Show: Ran out of material after the writers and producers had thoroughly explored and exploited every conceivable permutation of human vice. Ricki Lake Show: Was canceled after Nielsen ratings indicated that the only remaining viewers were the studio production staff. I hope this has been helpful.

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New Answerbaggers, will you please come and introduce yourselves? Hi. My name really is Todd, because I can't be bothered with fake internet personae. What you read is what you get. I've been here for 2 months so I guess I'm not exactly new, but Riff-Raff introduced herself here at about 4 months, so I figured, "Why the hell not?" :) I have a few university degrees, but I'll leave it to you to decide whether I have...

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If opportunity came knocking would you answer the door? Depends what it looked like through the peephole. If it came with Ed McMahon and a big check in tow, yeah, I'd answer the door.

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Is depression a mental illness? Yes. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) used by psychiatrists and other health professionals describes depression as a mental illness. http://www.allaboutdepression.com/dia_01.html

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Are you bi-curious? No. I already own the equipment, and have never really harboured a desire to examine any alternate versions. On the other hand, I am curious to see every attractive woman there is - in the buff. :)

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Can you still buy computers preloaded with Windows XP? Dell is still offering XP as an option.

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What were you doing before you discoverd answerbag? Writing and recording crap for Uncyclopedia.org, and finishing my Master's degree.

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Would you go to a Gay Wedding? Have you gone to one? I haven't, but I would have liked to attended my neighbours' wedding. (They were married before I knew them well enough to be good friends, but they're a couple of the nicest people I've ever known.)

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Whats the worst thing you can say to newlyweds? "Hope the STD screenings come back clean!"

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Who put the bomp in the bomp buh-bomp buh-bomp? I dunno, but the word on the street is that he's the same man who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop, and put the dip in the dib-de-dip-de-dip.

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What would your celebrity bacon name be? I think I'd be James Gandolbaconfini. I was "Sir Francis Bacon" during the last bout of bacon fever here on AB, so I'd probably go with that name again.

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What salary do you consider to be well off? I was asked out buy a man tonight but he mentioned that he made over 50 grand a year & to me that's too wealthy, I think alot of rich people are snobby. What's wealthy to you? I never really thought of it before, and I don't think I have a good answer, but I laughed when I read this question. I don't intend any disrespect, but it's just that I make more than $50K/year, and I've never considered myself "wealthy" (and I still didn't, back when I was still making that amount). So, regarding your observation about wealth and...

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Does sex fall under freedom of expression which is a fundamental right? It is also a way of expressing emotions. If sex was a freedom of expression, I would be able to do it in public. :) Last I heard though, that form of public expression was considered a crime.

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When did you last sleep in a tent? Last summer I introduced my two little girls to camping by pitching our tent in the backyard, and engineering a fireplace out of cinder blocks. We slept in it overnight, then I got up early the next morning to build a fire and cook turkey bacon, eggs, and freshcut hashbrowns in my trusty cast iron frying pans. They loved it. :)

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Have you ever taken a vow of silence? Tell me about it. :-) "                                               ."

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What is a jetpack? We're fresh out of bacon.

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Are you down with OPJP (other people's jet packs)? Everyone should get their own. :)

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Worst pick up line used in pup ever? I once heard a guy say: "Hey baby, come hang with me. So long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit!" (It didn't work.)

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At which level do you think you started to "fit in" with the Answerbag community or are you still trying to do so? I think I've fit in pretty well since answer #1, and with the exception of the odd Q or A that's ruffled a feather or two, things are ducky. Naturally, it could be that I have no idea what people really think, and this pink sky and silver sun in ToddWorld is some kind of self-delusion / mental engineering project gone awry.

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If I use an external 56K controller-based fax modem to surf the net instead of using my PCI modem, will it increase my download speed? I have AOL dialup. No, and theoretically it should be slower, though in actual practice the speeds will be the same. An internal card is connected directly to the motherboard of the computer and communicates by the PCI bus. An external modem connects by a physical cable (serial or USB) to a port that connects to the motherboard in turn, creating both distance and an additional medium for the signal to travel...

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What is your accent? A sample of my speaking voice: (reading a fake news story on Uncyclopedia) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/92/Rumsfeld_blames_fiasco_on_faulty_simulations.mp3 Other examples are available at: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:Todd_Lyons/bibliography

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If society said that fat was "in" would you think a 800 lb naked lady was sexy? No. And I suspect that my penis would retract inside my abdomen in mortal terror.

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What would you write in a farewell letter to Answerbag? Friends, Lovers, Colleagues; While I've much enjoyed our time together here at Answerbag, apparently the feeling is not mutual. As my drinking and lusting and hunger for power has became known to more and more people, the demands to do something about me has become louder and louder. My thanks to the special ladies (you know who you are), and especially the queen. You're...

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Did you see Polythene Pam? She's so good looking, but she looks like a man.

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Where is Richards Grieco now? He used to be in 21 Jump Street with Johnny Depp years ago. He then had a spin off - Booker. Still working. Here's his filmoigraphy: http://imdb.com/name/nm0001298/

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What is your favourite Led Zeppelin album? Although I'm a bit sick of "Stairway to Heaven", 'Led Zeppelin IV' is amazing start-to-finish. But I love 'III' and 'Houses of the Holy' too. Really, all of Zep's albums are all excellent until 'Presence'.

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What rank do you or did you consider yourself to be in high school? ex. normal, prep, nerd, or what? I was the nerd/loner, I guess I don't know if I would've really figured out who I was and what I was capable of if I hadn't moved far away, gone to university, and started over. Once you're classified as a stereotype for awhile, people can't imagine you as anything else.

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How many pizzas can you eat in a minute? Maybe 1/6th of a medium or 1/8th of a large.

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How do "you" rate? If it's pass/fail, then I'm giving myself a pass.

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Favorite Bon Jovi album? 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit was great, and it hasn't been completely overplayed like his later albums.

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Do you eat the crust off of pizza? Oh yes. :) The crust is usually my favourite part.

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Do you think I could be a plus size model? Here is my amateur online portfolio https://www.musecube.com/teisha9/156188/index.htm You look pretty to me, but I'm not a talent agent. :)

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What three things do you consider yourself to be very good at? Other than the job I do for a living, I'm best known by my friends for: - Massage therapy - Music performance and production - Building/fixing PCs

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Would you set ME up on a date with your brother? Why or why not? No, I wouldn't because you seem like a very sweet, good soul. You deserve better than my siblings. :)

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When is it a good time to have sex? There's no time like the present. =)

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Could you sing the national anthem in a stadium full of people? If they all signed a waiver in advance not to sue for mental distress, emotional damage, or hearing loss? Yes. Yes I could.

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I suspect a rodent of some type in my house. I have heard it in the walls and recently found it's "droppings" in our utility closet. How do I get rid of it? The traditional mouse trap with the spring-loaded lever is still the most effective (no-one's built a better one). You can also buy humane traps that capture, not kill, but be prepared to drive and dump the contents a long distance from your house. If you dump them in your yard, they'll just come in again. Plus, where there's one mouse, there are usually bunches. In...

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Do you feel you need some kind of therapy? Massage therapy. Shiatsu, Swedish, sensual. SOMETHING! (Sorry. I'm obviously a little tense.)

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If you looked up to the sky and saw a Batman type signal, but instead of a bat, it was a piece of bacon, what would you do? Make a sandwich. Want one? :)

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When you fall down in a public place, what is your first reaction? "Heh heh... uh, I *meant* to do that. Just testing the floor density, and its potential damage to human bones. Yeah! That's the ticket..."

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Do you wear grandma, bikini, or thong underwear? It depends... and I could say more... How much of your lunch do you want to lose? :) And while you think it over, I'll do my pants up again. (Actually, I wear boxers.)

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Whats the oldest thing in your closet that you can't throw out? A number of skeletons, from my younger days. Well, from my 20s anyway. :)

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Social engineering has already proven valuable in internet fraud. Do you think it will ever be offered as a university degree program, for legitimate applications, as a cross between psychology and marketing? I'm not certain that this degree will ever exist per se, but as a phenomenon social engineering will be studied and researched (just as the evasion tactics and replication techniques of computer viruses are studied to increase understanding in computer sciences... which makes me wonder, is there a degree in computer virology?).

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Do you have a friend or relative with HIV / AIDS? If you feel comfortable, talk about it. I don't (and I feel very blessed for that), but I would talk about it if it happened. I know it would weigh on my soul.

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How many people that saw the documentary, Sicko, have health insurance? I'm Canadian, so I have health insurance. ...But I lived in the US for 6 years and was covered by HMO. It was expensive for a family, had prohibitive co-pay amounts, and I would receive chargebacks for certain services. Basically, it sucked. Yeah Canadian health insurance comes out of your taxes, but it sure doesn't "cost" as much as privatized insurance. Now that...

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What did your last fortune cookie say? "You're a cheap bastard, and you won't leave a tip."

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Have you ever lived in another country? I'm Canadian, but I lived and worked in the US on a visa for 6 years. It was a great experience that helped my career, helped me to understand Americans better, and really made me appreciate being Canadian.

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If you ever migrated from one country to another: what products / institutions / national habits etc from your home do you miss most? While I was in Indiana, USA, I missed Bick's Pickles, Quaker Harvest Crunch cereal, Ketchup flavoured potato chips, Coffee Crisp bars, Canadian music on the radio (especially the Tragically Hip), A&W (it's totally different in the States) and the CBC (TV and radio). Now that I'm back in Canada, I miss Woeber Mustard, Combos pretzels, Hardees ThickBurgers, and a lot of...

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If you kidnapped Santa Claus what would you do with him? It would be a difficult decision between Atkins and South Beach.

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What’s the funniest way to reject a proposition? In my experience, strategically directed flatulence has always been effective in communicating dissatisfaction with another's point of view, with that special touch of impishness.

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Is it better to rule in Hell or serve in Heaven? (On the assumption they both exist) Either is preferable to serving in hell, where the working conditions are bad, the customers are evil, and the tips are pointy... uh, I mean, lousy.

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Why is there a fine for killing a praying mantis? Not a monetary fine, but there is a spiritual penalty, and it's intended to restore the harmonic balance of the universe. Usually it's whatever the priest prescribes after confession, and fortunately martyrdom isn't pricey as it used to be. As of 2002, it was a dozen "Hail Marys", but that may have been adjusted since for inflation.

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Get your calculators out. Divide your answer points by your number of answers and post your average answer score. C'mon, you know you want to compare:) Average: 5.6 points per answer.

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Do guys like their inner thighs kissed or licked? Yes please.

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What's the best rpg ever? Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, First Edition. Old school pen & paper with polyhedral dice. :)

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Why do women fall in love with a mans personality, then go on to systematically change them? When you watch too many DIY programs, any partner can begin to look like a potential "fixer-upper". :) Word of warning: It'll take longer than it does on TV, and it some cases the time and money might not be a worthwhile investment.

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Whats your next favorite website after AB? facebook.com uncyclopedia.org distrowatch.com linuxactionshow.com last.fm

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What's the connection between Kirkland and Costco? According to WIkipedia: "Kirkland Signature is Costco's store brand. The name derives from the fact that Costco's corporate headquarters were located in the city of Kirkland, Washington, between 1987 and 1996."

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How many guys sleep in the nude? I do. Not that you actually wanted to know that... but what else can I say? I mean, we don't take surveys of each other or anything :) like: "So... heh heh... Tom... I've been dying to ask: Do you box up the tackle at night, or let the worm enjoy the night air?" So I can only speak for myself. I know, I know. Now you're sorry you asked. :)

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If you struggle with depression, have you found anything yet that makes you think just for that moment "wow, I like life"? Mine's driving really fast with MJ's Will You Be There playing at full blast. The music is just so emotive x Todd's Daily Rx for Depression: - Eat walnuts and/or *dark* chocolate (I eat 72% cocoa) - Watch/read something hilarious several times a day - Keep pictures of your loved ones within view of your work area - Avoid negative news stories and other media fearmongering that's intended to generate ratings rather than reflect reality - An orgasm a day keeps Dr. Phil away - Plan out...

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Do you chat with any baggers on the phone? Were you nervous to do so at first? If you haven't would you? Who? For me, it's hard to find the time to make phone calls. Emails are easier, 'cause I can do them anytime. Neither are my favourite, though. Too impersonal. I'm more of an in-person type. I like to learn about people, and people don't seem to mind opening up to me. I have a nice voice, a good ear (two, actually), a wicked and dry sense of humour, a soothing manner, and...

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Do you find the Richard Simmons answers to any question funny, or is it getting old now? I'm not irritated by Richard S. yet, but he doesn't press my ha-ha button either. Overexposure to too many Internet memes has given me a limited tolerance for any one theme. http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/360501

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What are your initial thoughts when seeing a black and white couple walking together seemingly happy together? "There goes two more enlightened people." Happiness is where you find it. If you think it only comes in certain colours, it may pass you by.

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What are the exact words you say to a catholic priest before confession? Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been [amount of time] since my last confession.

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Congrats to LadyLuck who is now a Sage, who else will join me on this special ocassion? We love you! And your precious little one at home. =) (((hugs)))

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Men, would you rather watch your wife strip for you, go to a strip club or watch porn? (1.) Wife (2.) Wife (3.) Wife (4.) Wife (5.) Wife ... (25.) Talim, DreAnna, and our other naked-oriented female baggers (tie). ... (51.) Porn ... (1001.) Strip club

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Beatles people and Elvis people. Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like the Beatles. But neither types of people could like them the same. What type of person are you? I can appreciate some of Elvis' work, but never understood the fervour about him. I would imagine a lot of die-hard Elvis fans probably don't understand why I think The Beatles are the best band of all-time. :)

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Have you dated outside your race? Did your signifigant other's family accept you? If they didn't how did you deal with it? Now that I think of it, I've dated more non-whites than whites, but it was because ethnicity was not a relevant selection criterion. It just so happens that I've lived in a lot of ethnically-mixed communities, and I dated the best women I could find. Three were Indian, one was Chinese, and one was Métis. My wife isn't white either, but again, she is the best: the best...

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Many friends have recommended that I change from Internet Explorer to Firefox Mozilla. Having no knowledge of what a browser really does, how important is it to change? Is it safe to download the free Firefox version? Firefox has been given (more) recent awards by PC World, PC Magazine, and CNET, and for good reason. It's lean, fast, feature-smart, and customizable through a huge repository of Add-ons. Unlike IE, it isn't directly tied to your operating system, so it doesn't allow the straight path of infection that IE does. One of my favourite features about FF is the fact that its...

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How do i insert an image for my avatar In the right hand column (under shopping Q&A) is your current avatar. - Press the blue bar that says "View my profile and activity". - This brings up a series of tabs: My Summary, My Q&A, My Friends, My Settings. - Click "My settings". Your avatar picture will appear again. - Click the link next to it that reads "Click here to change"

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What are the best deals you've ever gotten from a flea market, garage sale, etc.? A few that spring to mind: - A Roland D-5 Synthesizer in excellent condition and including manuals -- $5 - A Yamaha QX-5 Digital Sequence Recorder (for the synth) in excellent condition and including manual -- $5 - A pair of Elan cross-country skis, including a pair of aluminum poles, all in excellent condition -- $4 - A Linksys Wireless-G router with SpeedBooster -- FREE

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How long is the recovery time for a hysterectomy? * Abdominal -- Complete recovery usually takes four to eight weeks. You will gradually be able to increase your activities. * Vaginal or laparoscopic -- Most women are able to return to normal activity in one to two weeks. For both, by the sixth week, you should be able to take tub baths and resume sexual activities.

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Which Canadian bands are you surprised never made a breakthrough in the world or US music market? I'm most surprised by the lack of love for "The Tragically Hip". I mean: 10 studio albums, an EP, 2 compilations, 2 video collections, and a box set, and they're barely a blip on the foreign radar. I implore you to listen to the "Road Apples" CD or the "Fully Completely" CD, and tell me how those failed to generate huge fans in the US. Start to...

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Has anyone seen Trailer Park Boys (Canadian comedy)? I read about it in High Times I totally love it. Once you understand the characters, it's completely addictive. (I have the first 6 seasons on DVD...)

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What are your favourite open source software applications? Multi-Platform: - OpenOffice.org Suite ( http://www.openoffice.org/ ) - 7-Zip ( http://www.7-zip.org/ ) - Firefox browser ( http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/ ) - Thunderbird Mail ( http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/thunderbird/ ) - Pidgin ( http://www.pidgin.im/ ) - Frostwire ( http://www.frostwire.com/) - Audacity ( http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ ) - CDex (...

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Are you happy with your income right now? I'm doing well and am pretty happy with it. However, my employee level is about to change. By this time next month I'll be making another 15K to 20K per year depending on negotiation, and I'm seriously looking forward to it. Woo hoo! :) Get a Master's degree folks. You won't regret it. :)

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Is the Answer'bag' made out of plastic, paper, cellophane or burlap? 100% (wo)man-made miscellaneous fibres (99% recycled post-consumer content).

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What makes an educated psychopath? If you'd like, I'll send you my resume for illustration.

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Do "Abstinence-Only" advocates annoy you? Yeah. They need to get laid more often; maybe they'd be less stodgy. :) But seriously, that initiative is not working: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18093769/ http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/5670D38D-DED8-48FD-83A3-E34C2E04584F.asp If young people are going to have sex anyway, we'd better help them to reduce the risks.

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Who here is in college (or university)? I just finished university in August, and I still owe them $1000 cash... (In addition to my government loans. Yay.)

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Who wants some points? I'll give points to anyone who answers my question!!! Isn't that against AB rules? (Not that I ever bother to read rules. It's just a hunch.)

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Ok tonight Indy Colts play the New Orlean Saints in NFL football....who are you pulling for and will you watch the game? I personally am pulling for Peyton@the Colts.... I lived in Indianapolis for 6 years, so I'd have to root for the Colts. I'm a little disappointed that they won as soon as I'd left town. (Hopefully there was no causal connection there...)

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Do you think that all police officers should experience being shot with a Tazar gun before themselves being armed with it? Perhaps, but in the interest of consistency they would probably also have to be shot with their own gun, and beaten with a truncheon as well. :/ On the other hand, it might be better to just try to impress upon them the seriousness of using any weapon anytime (if the ensuing guilt and extreme paperwork isn't deterring enough).

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Men, would you feel comfortable taking your wife's last name? Women, do you want to take your husband's last name? I wouldn't have minded taking my wife's last name, if it wouldn't have complicated my credentials, primarily the names on my university degrees. My wife kept her own name for the same reason.

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Do you ever regret showing your picture on AB? Do you think you were treated differently after it? I don't think anyone really cares what I look like. My pics are in various threads, and linked to my profile page, and it hasn't changed anything noticeably (for better or for worse). Actually, the same goes for my voice (which is also linked somewhere around here). If you're a nice person and can write clever bits, you'll get along fine around here. (Or, in my...

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If you could dedicate a song on the radio right now, what would it be and to who? I'd like to dedicate Nelly's "Hot In Herre" to Al Gore.

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How do i find my g-spot? Defer, and enlist the assistance of an expert instead. ;-)

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Remember when the power button would actually turn a computer off? You mean the days before ACPI? Yes, I do. And those were dark times.

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Is it wrong to flirt shamelessly with several different ABers? No, but it's wrong to limit yourself to only several. Is there a waiting list I have to sign on to, or what? :)

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Can politicians get fired? Sure. Recall legislation can be used to "fire" an elected official, and California Governor Gray Davis was recalled in 2003 (Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected to replace him).

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Would you rather eat your pets or another human being? I'd eat George Bush, how about you? Remember: You are what you eat. Keeping that in mind, I wouldn't want to be a dog, or a high profile idiot. However, I also wouldn't want to eat an intelligent and valuable someone with a long, fruitful life still ahead of them. All things considered, I'd consider making a nice stew (or perhaps a meatloaf) out of Stephen Hawking.

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What make is the watch you are wearing now? Good question. It's from the National Audubon Society, and other than having pictures of birds at 3 (House Wren), 6 (American Robin), 9 (Song Sparrow), and 12 o'clock (Northern Cardinal), that's all it says.

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I newly installed Linux (Ubuntu 7.04).But I didnt install any antivirus,spyware programme.Should I do that? If yes, what are the most suitable? I've used Linux full time for the last several years, and have never had any problems with viruses (though you can install ClamAV if it gives you peace of mind). The Unix/Linux model has the user operating in "normal" level (as opposed to administrator/root level) by default, and this prevents the unauthorized installation of malware (and very little malware exists for Linux)....

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Do you like Police Officers? Like any other person, I like or dislike them on an individual basis, based on who they are, not what they do. Lots of professions contribute to the betterment of society, but most are less recognized for their contribution.

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Is it actually WORTH pulling the "all nighter"? For school, yeah. When I was completing my Master's degree, I could never get much work done during the daytime because I was caring for my kids. Most of my papers were written after they had finally fallen asleep each night... 8:30 to 9'ish, and I was only warmed-up and productive between 10 PM and 3 AM (or later, some nights). It was an awful schedule to endure, but I still...

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How would you feel if an Answer Bag member mentioned you in a question? It already happened (two days after I signed up, no less), and I was fine with it. http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/347183

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If you were a file extension (.tiff, .jpg, .avi, etc), what would you be? I'd request .XXX but would probably be given .ZZZ instead.

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Billy Bob Thornton , which movie or show do you like him in the best? "I like them french fried potaters..." I still think about Karl's love affair with french fries and laugh. So, 'Sling Blade' it is.

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What does this Koran passage mean? "Believers, take neither Jews nor Christians for your friends." - Surah 5:51 That is a actually common mistranslation, but one that is commonly cited by people trying to perpetuate barriers between the religions. In this case, the Arabic word "Awliya" in Surah 5:51 has been wrongly translated as "friend" whereas the correct word would be "protector". The Koran repeatedly states that the role of protector is God's alone. As a...

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Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables? Fruit. (Boy, I wish all questions here were that simple.)

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Is Uncyclopedia volatile? Like anyplace else, it has a culture. The quality of articles vary widely from utterly brilliant to utterly crappy. It does tend to explode over issues of policy and administration, with some feeling it is too managed and others believing it's too loose. It's an oligarchy, not a democracy, so it isn't always perceived to be fair. It burns users out the way that AB...

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Who wishes guys still looked like spartans now? The same women who'd quickly realize they preferred a slightly more average-looking guy with a degree (or several) and a good paying 8-4 job that brings him home each night.

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I went on a picnic and I brought? I love to play this game in the car, anyone else like to play it? Starting with A, list something you brought on a picnic, all the way down to z and then maybe start over again going backwards with different things? Green grapes.

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Is swearing offensive to you? F*ck yeah it is!

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Do you sometimes get mad when people leave a wikipedia answer than using their own brain? No, but I'm a bit irritated when people ask obvious/general questions that they could easily get a better and more thorough answer to by reading an article there.

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In your opinion...Do you look better in no clothing (nude), in minimal clothing (underwear) or in as much clothing as possible? I look best from behind thick curtains or a large screen, so that only the sound of my voice is present.

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You've been chatting with someone and are hitting it off. They e-mail you nude pictures of themselves. What's your reaction? Woo hoo!!! (ahem) Well, depending on the person, and whether they've drank their milk and eaten their green vegetables (as opposed to double cheeseburgers with chili cheese fries and double-thick chocolate shakes every day of the week) they may or may not be enjoyable to look at. :) But I'd definitely know there was no serious future to the relationship. Honestly, they...

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Has anyone on here ever had an answerbag crush? if so, with who? Well, "crush" kind of implies a romantic involvement which I'm in no position to entertain. However, there are more than a few that I'd like to hug, and... a couple more that have said they don't mind stripping naked on request. And I'm afraid I'm much too curious to resist an offer like that. ;-) (Sorry. I guess I'm just a typical man after all...)

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What is your favorite fast-food burger? The Hardees ThickBurger has got to be the most amazing fast food burger I've ever tasted. Naturally, it's horrible for you, and contains like an entire day's worth of calories... but... once in awhile? Yeah. Gotta do it.

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Would you have sex with a midget if they had an amazing personality? Who hasn't?

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My girlfriend has proclaimed herself to be an Answerbag widow due to the "crazy" amount of time I spend on here, oh what to do? Get her hooked on it too. :)

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belford highschool in humble TX is rec by iaaou and another agent company from the board of education will this diploma get me into college Perhaps, but that spelling and capitalization won't get you a degree.

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If you were a pirate on a ship and there was another pirate ship approching and they shouted to you" show us your buccaneers" what would your reply be? Sorry! Not on the first date.

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Where is the worst place to shout i'm horny? In church would seem to be a bad idea...

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How do you take your tea? Two sugar, hold the milk.

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Do you trust Wikipedia? Even Wikipedia doesn't trust Wikipedia. :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:General_disclaimer But it's a starting point for ideas you could back up yourself by locating the primary sources...

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Are you straight or curly? Depends upon the region being discussed.

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I understand that some college dorms have "co-ed bathrooms". Do you think this makes for a too relaxed attitude toward the privacy and rights of the opposite sex? No, but then I'm pretty liberal. I would think it would make for much shorter lineups at the washroom. :) Or maybe longer lineups for the men?

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What will be the title of your autobiography? "NOTHING TO SEE HERE - MOVE ALONG!: Confessions of a generic white male who did warn you not to read this and really can't be blamed just because you assumed he was being coy and really might have some juicy tidbits to share somewhere inside, perhaps after page 100 or so" I'd love to see them try to print that on a spine, but they'd probably put the subtitle in small...

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Who says boys dont cry? Liars. :)

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What is your favorite brand of tea and what's your favorite flavor? Earl Grey. Yeah, boring, I know... :)

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Are you Indian? I mean from Asia? No, but my wife is.

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Can you name me a song with a animal in the title? Some others that haven't been said yet: "War Pigs" Black Sabbath "Why Do Girls Love Horses?" Adam Ant "Everything Reminds Me of My Dog" Jane Sibbery "Dirty Old Egg-Suckin' Dog" Johnny Cash "Diamond Dogs" David Bowie "Dog Bite" - Dead Kennedys (Google the lyrics) "By-Tor and the Snow Dog" Rush "Dog Eat...

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Would you use Vista, or just hang it up and use Linux instead? I've used Linux full time for the last several years. Good thing too... I'd probably have to buy a brand new computer to meet Vista's steep hardware requirements, whereas with Linux I have the latest and greatest software running nicely on a very average system. Anyone can do the same: http://www.kubuntu.org http://www.ubuntu.com http://www.opensuse.org ...

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Would you ever leave your house unlocked and tell a random person from the street to watch it for you? No, but it's amazing how trusting (or naive) some people are. For example, I would have a pile of laptop computers if I weren't an honest person. You wouldn't believe how many strangers at university have asked me to keep an eye on their computer while they went to the washroom, or some other errand. Then, there are a bunch who've just wandered off without asking. The...

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Why are people so cruel to animals? dont you just hate those people! For the same reason that stronger people pick on weaker people; it's easy to pick on the helpless, whether it's to soothe themselves over their own sense of inadequacy, for the pleasure of hurting others, or just out of a sense of entitlement (I can, so I will). I used to rescue animals (www.savealab.com), so I feel your pain.

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How much would you rate yourself in terms of singing? A 6, maybe. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnTunes:Stinky_Love_Song

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What stereotype bugs you the most? That Muslims are violent, terrorists, oppressive to women, etc. It demonstrates a complete lack of familiarity with the religion of Islam, and the how the political and cultural practices of a belief's followers can be assumed as being part and parcel of the faith itself.

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How far back can you trace your family tree? The back seat of a 1964 Ford Falcon.

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Whats the first thought that enters your mind when you look at yourself in the mirror? (with apologies to Mac Davis) Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way I can't wait to look in the mirror 'cause I get better lookin' each day To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can I used to have a girlfriend but I guess she just couldn't...

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Since much of the Middle East lacks respect for women, what will happen if we elect Hillary Clinton? I think the fact that America has never elected a woman to the presidency indicates its own lack of respect for women. And I refuse to believe that a suitable candidate has never existed. This question is moot.

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What celebrities share your astrological sign? OTHER (ACTUALLY FAMOUS) AQUARIUSES (AQUARIANS?): (most are real people; some are fictional characters) A Arizona, Evangeline Adams B Kelley Blank, Tallulah Bankhead, Jack Benny, Robert Burns, Pearl Burt, Sonny Bonno, Jim Brown, Helen Gurley Brown, Ernest Borgnine, Shelley Berman, Francis Bacon, John Barrymore, Edith Bunker C Lewis Carroll, Joel Cohen, Carol Channing, Paddy...

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What is your credit score? Somewhere between 300 and 900. :)

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Is it just me, or as you level up on AB does it seem that you've gained "street cred" with other members? I have no idea. I sincerely hope so. :) Honestly, I got a warm welcome from answer #1, so it seems like people are more than willing to embrace a n00b that sounds like they've got their head screwed on right.

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When you Rock do you Roll? Sure. If I rock too far backward. :) I don't rock as much anymore since I banged my head on the coffee table. :/

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What has Islam done for society in the last 500 years except invent belts that go boom? During the Crusades, the Knights Templar destroyed one of their own ships, killing 140 Christians in order to kill ten times as many Muslims. So much for Muslims "inventing" mass destruction. For more enlightening facts on suicide attacks: ...

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What is something you should NEVER say to a policeman? Eg Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Officer, clearly we're experiencing a lack of communication, so I want to talk to you in a language I know you'll understand. Oink oink! Snort! Squeeeeeeeee! Squeeeeeeeee! Squeeeeeeeee! Squeeeeeeeee! (This works best if you put fingers on either side of your head to simulate "ears"). I hope this has been helpful.

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What state do you live in? Do you like it? Denial. (I can't believe I'm the first one to write this... the question is nearly 5 months old!)

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Do you procrastinate much? Eh... can we talk about this some other time, perhaps?

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How is the night life where you live? Presently, I live on a dead-end dirt road on the fringe of a small town. If you like crickets and constellations, this is the place to be. :) I can live anywhere where there's broadband, I think. :)

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How did you choose your avatar? (presuming it's not one of the 'bags) I thought the bass-playing guy in it looked kinda cool. (I hope he doesn't mind me using it.)

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Are you a good role model? In reverse, perhaps. :) Heh... No, actually I've spent most of the last 10 years working with kids, trying to make their lives as good as they could be. Can't do that without modeling a good example for them to want to follow.

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Would u make a good moderator? Yeah, why not? I started sysoping in 1990 with Bulletin Board Systems, and have been doing moderation and admin work on and off ever since. Presently, I admin at Uncyclopedia.org, though I spend more time here lately. Since the AB staff were kind enough to fix my moderation stats (thanks!) I've been doing a lot more cleanup around here again. I've actually accumulated over 800...

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What's a roller girl? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roller_girl

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Do you like acronyms? N.F.W.

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Who was the last person you went skinny dipping with? A friend, and some of her friends that I didn't know. It was hot. The lake looked great. We didn't have suits. We were all adults. Who cares? :) It was fun; no regrets.

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I Went to a formal party the other night, and there was this woman that was Drunk, she was exposing herself to everyone, What is the best thing to do in this situation? Smile, applaud politely, and pretend you're enjoying yourself. Her self-esteem may be at stake, after all. Do not cheer or whistle; that's gauche. If your wife is watching, you may have to explain this reaction, and your well-intentioned efforts to support another person who is clearly crying out for attention. Same goes with friends and co-workers. <sigh> I am so...

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I'm being trolled but my trolls are confused and keep uprating me instead of downrating me. What do I do? Trade with me. I haven't been positrolled in awhile now. :) No need to thank me. I'm happy I could solve your problem. ;)

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If The United States has “The best health care in the world”, why then does it stand. 42nd in life expectancy in the world? The notion that the US has the best health care in the world is a lie perpetuated by government and the for-profit health care industry, and compounded by American willingness to accept that if there was a better alternative, they'd already have it. While it's a widely embraced belief, it's not supported by any competent, peer-reviewed research literature. I've posted...

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If ignorance is bliss..why are poor people so miserable? Poverty is much more complex than you may wish to acknowledge. It isn't the domain of the uneducated; we could all end up living there someday, for at least part of our lives. (a brief excerpt from a paper I wrote recently, that applies to you and yours:) "Many Americans are one serious illness or hospitalization away from bankruptcy. In fact, half of all U.S. personal...

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What isn't interesting on wikipedia? Everything. Well, no... not really. It depends on your interests. I'd suggest just hitting the "Random Page" link in the left column, and seeing what comes up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random For example, I found the article on the social history of dung beetles to be particularly uninteresting.

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Does anyone use Last.fm? IndeedyIdo.

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What is interesting on Wikipedia? Everything. Well, no... not really. It depends on your interests. I'd suggest just hitting the "Random Page" link in the left column, and seeing what comes up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random For example, I found the article on the social history of dung beetles to be particularly interesting.

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What was Phil Rizzuto's nickname? Scooter.

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What song would you want played at your funeral? "Dead Guys" by Heywood Banks ============================ I am older than a lot of famous dead guys A lot of famous dead guys didn’t live as long as me Oh sure, they accomplished more, in a lot less time But they are dead and what good does that do you? Now if I become real famous and they know me ‘round the world When I croak everyone can say: "He sure...

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Have you ever been asked for your autograph by a fan or admirer? What for? I've autographed my business cards, show flyers, CDs and plain 'ol paper for people who admired my playing, back when I still worked as a musician (weekends and evenings). It was an interesting experience to have "fans". :)

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Merv Griffen passed away this morning , do you have any memories or thoughts about Merv? No, but I have some lovely parting gifts for him, courtesy of our sponsors.

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Where is the LOVE on AB today? Just a guess, but it must have got out of bed on the wrong side, and slammed its head into the wall. Mondays. :P {{{{{hugs}}}}}

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Are you a Hard Sell? I am. When someone says he/she is an "expert", I expect that person to know more than I do.When that person says something that is not true, I don't believe anything else that person has to say. How about you? Indeed. The ranking system here can be pretty meaningless sometimes. I've read a lot of short, useless and incorrect entries from a number of high ranking users on a consistent basis. AB Points can be as much about rewarding friends or the questioners providing token points to respondents as it is about rewarding genuinely useful, funny or insightful responses. That's not to say...

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What is the most common typo you make? My "S" key is sometimes slightly temperamental on my laptop, and will stick. During these times, "as" ends up as "ass" and I have to pay extra close attention because the spell checker doesn't catch the mistake. :)

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Anyone else get tired of seeing the overly sexual questions? Nope, so long as they're properly categorized in the Adult section.

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How many jobs do you have at this moment? Paperboy Radio announcer * Gold refiner ** Security guard Groundskeeper Social worker Self-employed * & ** Professional musician * Customer service rep (a.k.a. The Longest 6 Weeks of my Life) Social policy analyst ** * = Fun jobs ** = Good paying jobs

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Are you beautiful, sexy and gorgeous? No... no and... no. Proof: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1105345

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Is it true that the original blues clues guy killed himself? No! Just another example of society's love of starting rumours that cause you to fear the worst for wholesome cultural icons (see also: Bobby McFerrin, Shel Silverstein). Steve left because he was getting too old for the role. He's since recorded a rock album, and opened for The Flaming Lips on tour. He's also done some acting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Burns ...

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Ok my dad wants to know this. when girls go poo, they only take about 3-5 mins. there in and out. But when guys do, they take like 10-15 mins. Why does that happen? If women had prostates, they might slow down in there a little too. :)

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Random Thoughts, Do you spell it "Gray" or "Grey"? "Barbeque" or "Barbecue"? I spell them "grey" and "barbeque". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm expecting a "cheque" in the mail. :)

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What makes you think of Canada? Looking out my front door each morning. God I love it here. :)

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If Answerbag was to charge a montly rate for a user to be on Answerbag, would you still be here? Lessee... I pay a monthly subsciption fee so I can contribute answers for other people's education and/or amusement and/or irritation. :) Nah.

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Do you use rottentomatoes.com as a guide for choosing movies to rent or see? For professional reviews, I'm quite partial to Metacritic. http://www.metacritic.com/ (It also compiles reviews for DVDs, books, games, etc.)

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Is there any anagrams for the word "emigrate"? Triage 'Em (or, Triage Me!)

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What is your favorite Linux distribution? I like Debian, and most Debian-based distros like Ubuntu (Kububtu, Xubuntu, etc.). Why? It has a huge software library, it's simple to add/remove/upgrade the OS or the applications, and it is incredibly stable.

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Besides Fun, is anyone else leaving AB sooner or later? Aren't we all? I can't say how long I'll be here, or how much I'll do. I wrote 77 articles and recorded 18 audio pieces (including a few original songs) for the website Uncyclopedia.org. One day I just realized I was finished. I still visit there (rarely), but contribute little. One day I'll write my last answer here. I just don't know when.

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Why do people treat you different based on race and the type of music you listen to? (ex. i'm black and listen to rock) Don't change, and don't care what these people think about you. They're wrong. Rock music was invented by black artists, but even that's not the most important point in this problem. Music is the universal language. When we stop communicating to the point where we aren't listening to each other's music anymore -- it's all over. Jonny Lang, Brian...

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Will any mother board fit into any computer case? No. Ideally there should be a match in the "form factor" (size/shape) code. Both motherboards and cases have a specification for this code. A larger case will probably accommodate a number of sizes of motherboard (depending on whether it has screw holes in the correct places). But you have to make sure the motherboard isn't too large for the case. If you don't know...

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If satan showed up what would you say to him? Hot enough for ya? ;-)

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Do you sleep in your bed every night, or does the couch or a comfortable chair work for you? It depends whether I've been bad or not. :P

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What is the difference between Windows and Linux? If your main use of a computer is for word processing/office suite use and Internet activity, and you have cable or other high speed service via a networking card, there's no reason why you shouldn't try Linux. If you use your computer frequently for store-bought games, or are on dial-up modem Internet, Windows is probably a better choice. Reasons to try Linux: * Most of the...

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How oral are you? I only speak English, though I studied French in middle school. I've given some thought to joining Toastmasters International to improve my oral talents, but I've been struggling with performance anxiety. You see, I've never "done it" behind a podium before, and I'm not sure I'm quite man enough...

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Write your own dating agency advert. (just for fun) Generic male human seeks nymphomaniac ex-Playboy model Rhodes scholar for intellectual banter, full contact Scrabble, and quiet, romantic dinners at your expense. Me: Long on time and short on money. You: Low on expectations and high on crack cocaine. All inquiries answered. Your photo gets one I found somewhere on the Internet.

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Why are you so against human genetic engineering? I've had enormous difficulty trying to buy shirts off the rack that will accommodate this third arm that protrudes from the middle of my chest. Certainly, it makes juggling easier, and I can give a one hour massage in only 40 minutes, but it has its drawbacks too. My tailor, not surprisingly, is completely in favour of human genetic engineering.

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Do you like being human, if you are a human? Woof woof!!

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How many years have you spent in higher education after receiving your high school diploma? Was it worth the effort? I have 9 years of university education (3 degrees). I would say it was worthwhile investment from both a personal and a professional development perspective. It's made me more confident about myself and my potential, less dogmatic in my beliefs, more curious about what else there is to learn and experience, and... the pay isn't bad either. ;-)

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What is the saddest song you have ever heard? "I Will Remember You" -- Amy Grant

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Where is your most sensitive area? My wallet. Ouch. Gently, please.

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Sexual intercourse What a romantic proposal. You could have at least brought me flowers or something.

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Any thoughts on Ingmar Bergman's passing? I hope it wasn't sunny. He'd hate that.

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Who was the first person you pinched on the bottom? The nurse in the delivery room. She'd already slapped me on the arse; I owed her one. Yeah, I was immature. Gimme a break, I was like, zero.

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What would be a good comeback after someone says your gay Shall we dance?

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What would be a good comeback after someone says you're straight? Actually, I curve to the left.

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Do you live in an area where movies are commonly made? Not anymore, but I lived in Vancouver, BC for 4 years, where many movies and TV series are made. Chris Carter ("The X Files", "Millennium", etc.) filmed at Stanley Park a lot.

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Does anyone own a decaffinated coffee table? I used to, but then I sold it along with my communist china cabinet. NO! No, I donated them to the people, naturally. I solemnly swear that I am not a capitalist.

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Have you stood in more than one state at once? No, but I've lifted up my feet from the floor of the car when I've crossed provincial, state, or national boundaries. =) Childish, yeah. But why be serious? I was also born and raised in a city whose boundaries were in two provinces simultaneously. So, where in town you lived and worked dictated which province you paid taxes to. :P

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Do you find people who say that they don't consider modern art to be 'real' art a little simple minded? I know a lot of very learned people who are skeptical about modern art. I think it has a lot to do with quantity. The "classical" art that we enjoy today still exists because it is protected. In its time, it was just one piece among many other inferior ones which are now gone. Looking at only the classic art in isolation, it can appear that some golden age of complete brilliance...

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As a Level 1 beginner who still can not manage to get confirmed I asked a question. It was a straight forward question and I got -3 pts. Did someone do that to me for asking a question that perhaps they did not wish to read about, or for what other reason It happens, Freddie. Try not take it personally. A few days ago, some troll fragged me with eight -3s in a row. I know my answers are good, so I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. I'm here for the people and the laughs. The +/- is peripheral.

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How much does it cost to pay attention? $4.99 for the first minute, $2.99 each additional minute. Other surcharges and penalties may apply. Please provide a detailed overview of the subjects you intend to discuss in advance, if an itemized bill is requested.

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Two singers who would or would have made a great duet? Frank Zappa and... anyone.

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Two singers who would or would have made a great duet? Ethel Merman and Joe Cocker!

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Two singers who would or would have made a great duet? Axl Rose & Leann Rimes? :P

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What is the most sexually sensitive area on your body? Mine is my back... Attention to my inner thighs and buttocks causes my brain to melt.

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Do you use OpenOffice.org? Why or why not? Yes, I use it for everything. For those who haven't heard of it, OpenOffice is a free, open source office suite. It's an alternative to Microsoft Office and includes a word processor ("Writer"), spreadsheet ("Calc"), presentation/powerpoint ("Impress"), database ("Base"), drawing ("Draw"), and math ("Math") components....

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Can you describe yourself in one word? Evolving.

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Why are Lawyers despised? Legalized prostitution has been a controversial issue for a long time now. The fact that this particular group happens to screw people while wearing designer wool suits doesn't make it any more palatable. :)

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Do you get disappointed when you're not in the top ten, twenty, etc, on AB? Why or why not? Here's an honest and truthful (if unpalatable) response: My real life is much too important, and much too full, for me to spend the sort of time here that would be necessary for me to be "competitive" as an Answerbagger. If you do spend that kind of time here, consider the amount of time you aren't investing in the real people around you -- family and friends within...

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Why do people think that there is no such thing as the Mafia? It doesn't exist. Guido and Luigi have a way of convincing people of that -- broken faces, dangling people over the edge of buildings from their ankles, accidental deaths in front of the subway... that kind of thing. It's very convincing. Perhaps you need convincing. See you in 20? :)

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Who is your favorite bassist? mine is flea of RHCP *EDIT* and from what band? Geddy Lee, with Paul McCartney a close second.

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What do you think is the best Bass line/riff in a song? I nominate "La Femme D'Argent" by Air "Something" (Paul McCartney) by The Beatles has one of the most beautifully constructed, melodic bass lines ever written. I think every bass player should learn it, and learn from it. Dave Ellefson's introduction to Megadeth's "Five Magics" also strikes me as inordinately cool. YMMV. :-)

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Who would like to join me in congratulating our first community leaders? How about a big hand for a few of Answerbags finest? It's probably a lot to expect, but I wish that the process had been more transparent and democratic as opposed to: "TAH-DAH!". Yes, it's a website, not a democracy, but we are a community and it would've felt more appropriate for this process to have acknowledged that reality. My personal appreciation of the candidates aside, I think the position requires a...

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Three words after sex, what would you say? GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!! Oops. Sorry.

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Do you walk, hike, jog or run for exercise? Sure. Nothing like a brisk jaunt to the fridge for that 12th refill of Twinkies, Funions and Coke. (Kids - Don't do this at home. I'm a professional.)

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DO NOT ANSWER THIS QUESTION, DO NOT POST COMMENTS, DO NOT EVEN CLICK ON IT OR PUNISHMENTS WILL BE SEVERE..... how curious are you? Go ahead. Do your worst. Downrate me if you must. I post, therefore I am. :-) (I guess the karma didn't work, I just downrated -24 by some troll, and your question got rejected)

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Who will be the first third and last person to answer this question? Kevin will be the first, MG1942 will be the third, And ME... ***I*** shall be the last to answer this question evarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!1111elevenelevenoneoneone

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Are you all as sick as I am of reading all the hatred on AB lately? I understand the desire for people to find some kind of utopia on the Internet; a picture-perfect escape from real life. I don't think it's realistic. Connecting computers worldwide will never be a panacea. It makes it easy for the golden to interact with each other, but there will always be slag nearby. Realize that the more drama and attention that their behaviour generates,...

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Is it time for me to say goodbye for a while? I think so. No, I don't. :) http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1168043

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If you could rule one country, Which Country would it be? Freedonia. It exists, if only cinematically.

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Why are so many AB'ers leaving at the moment? Disagree if you will, but... I think publicized exits just show the bullies and trolls that their tactics are effective. Better to just silently disappear into real life for a few days, until the urge to return becomes irresistible, then continue your career as a positive contributor.

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What happened when you last lost your temper? A "Denny's" restaurant burned to the ground. No, no it didn't. Actually, I can't remember. I lose my temper with such alarming regularity that the people around me live in constant fear. Actually, no, that's also incorrect. What IS true is that four out of five dentists agree that I could charm the knickers off... No, wait... that's Hugh Grant....

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Knowing perfectly well I'm going to alienate some people here: Haven't you got enough moderation points already? I mean, come on... I received no points for nearly 60 profane messages I flagged during the recent trolling outbreaks, so I've given up. Mleh.

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Who is my troll? Its someone that can -3. It t'weren't me. (Is t'weren't a word? It is now.) +3

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Your most disappointing moment ever? I was accepted into the Faculty of Architecture at university, but didn't have the money to go, and couldn't get a loan. I stayed out and worked for a year for a mining company, to save up. When I re-applied, I was rejected.

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Who is your favorite Ghostbuster? Egon!

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Who would like to congratulate Parra1 on the birth of his Son, Armandt, yesterday 31 July 2007? Impart the wisdom of your experiences into guiding him towards good choices, and love him through his mistakes. :)

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Can you desribe this world in less than 5 words?(The truth) Ball of confusion.

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Would any one know why i cant get an email to comfirm my acount on this website? because i have clicked the little (uncomfirmed) icon then hit yes to send a email and it is not working i have retried many times and checked email many times. Check your email account's junk folder. That's where mine was.

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On the top or on the bottom? Bureaucracy, hierarchy, mountain, tower, penthouse, pyramid, pyramid scheme... Top is better.

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Congratulations to Shelby for becoming the 21st Maestro of Answerbag! Who else would like to send their congrats even though Shelby is still on a break? Well done Shelby! Shelby... I'm sending positive mental vibes through the airwaves. They'll find their way to you somehow. Or, ...I could just respond back to your last email. Yeah, that makes more sense. :)

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When's the last time you played truth or dare? Never. Yeah... I can't believe it either.

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Does anyone play a type of musical instrument and why did you choose that to play Guitar & bass (acoustic & electric). Voice (if that's an "instrument").

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If you could hug one person from Answerbag, who would it be? I hate these "pick one" questions. LadyLuck. PrettyPirate. HA! Two! I'm such a non-conformist. :)

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Is there a particular guitar solo in a popular song that is widely regarded as the hardest one to learn? One that acts as a benchmark for excellent guitarists? A few suggestions: Eruption - Eddie Van Halen Mr. Crowley - Randy Rhoads (Ozzy Osbourne) Satch Boogie - Joe Satriani Far Beyond The Sun - Yngwie Malmsteen Actually, if you can play any/many of the solos of those four guys, you're an excellent guitarist in my book. Granted, this list is limited to rock, but I'm trying to keep it short.

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Do you class yourself as naughty or nice? I'm naughty, but I do the most brilliant impersonation of nice. It fools everyone; even my mother. Of course, now I've gone and spilled the beans. :-) (Sorry, Mom.)

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How would you rate your own looks on a scale from 1-10? 5. Pic: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1105345

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If we told you we were schizophrenic would you believe us? Sounds like you're confusing Schizophrenia with Dissociative Identity Disorder. So no, I wouldn't. :)

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Who would like to join me in congratulating "fill in the blank" on reaching "fill in the blank" level? Woohoo! Way to go " fill in the blank"! Dear ________, I'm sure I speak on behalf of all of us when I say how much Answerbag has changed for the better since you got here. Congratulations on making it to ________! With your thoughtful and humourous contributions, I know you'll be a ________ in no time. Would you mind if I ________ your ________ to express my gratitude? I've always admired your ________, and hope...

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What's on your jump drive (USB stick, pen drive)? - All the university papers and notes I've ever taken since 1989 (sad, I know...) - Work files - A bunch of portable applications (from PortableApps.com), including: 7-Zip, AbiWord, ClamWin, Firefox, GIMP, OpenOffice 2.2, and VLC Media Player. - Nice wallpaper pictures - Pictures of my kids - A book I'm writing

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As jump drives get ever smaller, how do YOU avoid losing them? Keychains? Necklaces? Ziploc plastic bags? Mine's always on the lanyard, so it never gets lost. (knocks on medium-density fiberboard cabinet nearby)

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What were your high school colors? Red, white and black.

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Is there anywhere on the Internet where one can go to escape worn-out memes? What's your most disliked meme? (Chuck Norris, Richard Simmons, Steve Ballmer, Kanye West, bacon, jetpacks, etc.) The three ones I hate the most: (1.) Goatse (If you don't know what this is, don't even go looking -- you'll be sorry. Sorrier than sorry.) (2.) Chuck Norris facts (3.) All Your Base Are Belong To Us

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Who thinks a personal massaging system would be cool for AB? Yes indeed... if I could just have a volunteer or two to lend me their time and attention for a bit. :)

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Do you derive more from a good deed when you don't tell anyone you've done it? Guerrilla Goodness has a lot of appeal to me. That same giddiness you used to get as a child, playing practical jokes and then standing back and watching the result can come as an adult, doing good and then watching the joy it brings to others. People are intrigued by untraceable humanitarianism, and the fact that they know that someone did good for goodness' sake (and not for...

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Have you ever signed up someone you didn't like to get a free sample of a condom or personal lubricant in the mail? No, but I did sign up several people to receive confidential information and completely anonymous help for BEDWETTING. What I liked most about those pamphlets (and they seemed to be at every grocery store I've ever been in) is how BEDWETTING was in such large type (white, on a black background) that people 30 yards away could see exactly what you were reaching for. I would've...

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Do you consider yourself a 'Sex Bomb'? I don't personally, though I've been complimented many a time for my "exceptionally rugged and artfully-sculpted warhead". Eh... no. Just no. ;-)

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If you're in court and you have the option to not swear by the the Bible, what book would you swear by? "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification" Browseable here: http://www.strayshoppingcart.com/ (No, I didn't write it, but I wish I had.)

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I just read Harry Potter 7 in less than 24 hours... Am I a freak? Sounds pretty normal. I read it in 10, and I took my time enjoying it (reading certain parts twice or more).

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Have you ever had what you thought was an excellent concept for a book or movie? Please, tell us about it. OH NO... you won't catch ME with THAT ONE again. It wasn't that long ago that I was talking on one of these web thingies, talking about this idea I had about some turtles that become exposed to this radioactive substance, then mutate into these super-duper ultra warrior types, then are schooled in deadly martial arts by this gigantic rat. Oh, and they love pizza, too. ...

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What are The Cranberries doing these days? Hangin' out in my mom's fruitcake, I think. Could be years until they see the light of day, given society's hatred of the fruitcake.

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What level would you like to get one day? Expert! Oh... wait-a-sec... :P (Sorry.)

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Why can't Yall shut the f**k up? Personally, I'm trying to improve the signal-to-noise ratio, so that idiotic posts like yours are drowned out by a plethora of intelligent contributions from the rest of us...

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Have you ever tried Walker's Shortbread? I have, and of all the boxed, commercial varieties of shortbreads I like it the best. That said, it's not as good as homemade. :)

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Have any guilty pleasures? "You're The One That I Want" by John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John (or, the "Grease" soundtrack as a whole). I know it's not cool to listen to, and it sticks out my of CD collection like a sore thumb, but... :)

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It is what it is...what is it? It's it. (So sayeth "Faith No More", anyway.)

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Do you know anyone who has a conspiracy theory for everything? You're talking about ME, aren't you? I knew you were out to get me! :)

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Did you wait in line to get the new Harry Potter book? No. Pre-ordering is the way to go. Mine came cheap (less than half the cover price) and with free delivery to my home, to boot. I'd rather endure self-inflicted avada kedavra than waste away in line for hours, while dorks ride by in cars yelling, "So-and-so dies on page 56! ... So-and-so dies on page 78! ... etc." on their bullhorn. :)

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What is your percentage of successful moderation points? Until recently, it was 59 submissions, 93% positive. With the recent trolling, I've submitted a bunch more, and my current numbers are: 119 submissions, 295 points, 50% positive. I hope that the admins catch up soon. My flags were valid, so I should earn enough points to get back to my previous, high moderation rating. I'm getting a little nervous waiting though...

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How much time can elapse before you can fart in front of your partner? Let one rip on the first date. If your budding relationship can survive that, it can survive anything. :)

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Why do men hate shopping? I don't, although I haven't been to the Otineka Mall in nearly 20 years. Is there anything good there? :)

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Can i activate a telus share plan at London drugs? Phone them and ask. Answerbag is not always the best choice for every question. :)

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Are you your parent's favorite child? Not when I'm the one they're mad at. It's my impression that the role of "favoured child" goes to whichever child is not present, so they can be held up as an example to aspire to, while I'm being lectured about what a disappointment I am. However, should that child do something my parents don't approve of, the top role goes to someone else (so long as...

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Does Dungeons and Dragons rock, or what? I loved First Edition AD&D, and as a purist, I stick with it. Changes that occurred in subsequent revisions were mostly in response to the charges by religious conservatives that the game promoted devil worship, witchcraft, and the like. The fact that many of the elements taken out of 1st Edition AD&D were added back into 3rd Edition is proof enough that it wasn't broken - why...

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Would you wear your seatbelt if it wasn't required by law? Yes. While I'm not always fan of statistics (at least until I've evaluated their validity), I'm sold on the value of seatbelts. Plus, after so many years of use, I literally feel "naked" without one. :)

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Is it true that Giraffe's don't have vocal cords? Research is on the fence about this question. Giraffes do not produce sound in the way that humans or other animals do, but they do produce detectable "infrasound". More on that here: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/tallblondes/infrasound.html http://www.animalvoice.com/Giraffe.htm

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Have any ABers appeared on TV? Just the local news. I worked for a very prominent social service organization that closed down unexpectedly after 125 years. The film crew caught me coming out of the building with my final cheque.

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Someone told me Shel Silverstein was a child molester; is this true? It's not true, but it's a rumour that's floated around for years. Irony is often humourous, but there's a certain undercurrent in society that seems to delight in kicking cherished childhood icons from atop their pillars. As if growing up and learning about the actual realities of adulthood wasn't disconcerting enough. :/

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Does anyone here know or has met a famous person? If yes, who? I met Paul Hyde (of the 'Payola$', and 'Rock & Hyde')at a house party about 8 years ago. He was a musician I greatly admired, and there I was in the band performing at the party. He was just in the audience as a guest. Paul was shy, soft spoken, very polite. Very much an anti-rock star. He really didn't like performing in front of crowds, but his talent was...

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If you live in a country with universal healthcare, such as Canada or Britian, would you *ever* give up you're healthcare for the american system? Why or why not? I'm Canadian, but I lived and worked in the US for 6 years. I had HMO coverage, but often couldn't get the health care I needed due to the co-pays and chargebacks I received. The standard of care I got in the US was no better than what I get here for free. The amount I pay in taxes as a Canadian citizen for health care is no worse than what I was paying for private coverage in...

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A word that starts with the letter "A" and finishes with the word "Z"? Alcatraz.

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Is the car you currently drive worth more or less than $15,000? Less...

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Which 56k fax modems are compatible with both Vista and Linus? (Linux, not Linus. Linus Torvalds is the person, Linux is the operating system [or more accurately, the kernel]). Here's a short, but recent list: http://hllug.org/article.php/20060927060046542 In general: - Any external modem connected via a cable (RS-232 serial port) should work. - Most internal modems are "Winmodems" and actually require the Windows OS to work....

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What was your first job? And how long did it take for you to get hired? I got my first real job (part-time) when I was 16, working as a weekend radio announcer at the AM station in my home town. I already had my "adult" voice by the time I was 15, so all I had to do was go in and audition. I think they hired me the same day. A sample of my speaking voice: (reading a fake news story on Uncyclopedia) ...

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Out of all the avatars that Fun has, which one would you say is your favorite one and why? (Lightsaber, bacon, etc) "Weirded Out!" Her expression was odd and funny.

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If you could choose a song to die to, which would it be? "Who Wants To Live Forever?" by Queen.

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What operating system do you prefer? Windows, Linux, Mac etc. I've used Linux at home and on my laptop for several years now. I love it, and will never go back to Windows. :)

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Have you ever needed something so bad that you couldnt sleep at night? Yeah, but my wife said no, so I watched TV instead. :)

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Are you racist? If you'll excuse the pun, racism isn't quite as black and white as some of the responses in this thread seem to portray. While I've known a lot of people who were very egalitarian, they were still ultimately human. Part of being human is seeing yourself as normative, if only subconsciously. Very few of us actively feel inferior to other races, but does that mean we always...

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How come nobody ever shoot a vertical film? Is it possible to invent a new format like that? and if it is, what do you think of watching TV/movies vertically? If we flew instead of walked, I could see a potential for a vertical format. However, we walk, drive, and live on the ground and the "action" in our lives (people, structures) is largely along the plane of the horizon. Yes, there are skyscrapers, but we're inside them on the horizontal surfaces of each floor. Our heads move from side to side, taking in what is happening....

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What is your favorite style of beer? (not brand) Root.

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What was the last thing you threw out? My preconceptions.

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If you were a member of a rock band, what instrument would you want to play? .

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What does your voice sound like? A sample of my speaking voice: (reading a fake news story on Uncyclopedia) http://images4.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/92/Rumsfeld_blames_fiasco_on_faulty_simulations.mp3 A sample of my singing voice: (a joke song on Uncyclopedia) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnTunes:Stinky_Love_Song Other examples are available at: ...

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What kind of licences do you have? A driver's license, a foster home license, and a social worker license.

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If you were a member of a rock band, what instrument would you want to play? Lead kazoo. :) (I already play bass; I need a new challenge.) And hey, it could happen. Remember all those harmonica solos during the 1980s? Who knows what the next fad instrument will be...

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Ice cream, turnips or puppy dogs? I hope this isn't a taste test. :/

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How is the most human way to kill rats/mice in my garage? The standard snap-trap is still the quickest, most certain way to kill them, if indeed that's what you want to do. I don't recommend poison or glue traps... that's a long and painful death.

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Is it just me, or is Answerbag attracting more deranged lunatics than usual lately? My support worker said this would be a good stepping stone, before I go out and start meeting real people again. :(

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Have you ever played Mahjong? Only electronic versions, but I love it. It's seriously addictive stuff. :)

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The sheer irony of what jedistealth is doing to me is overpowering me! Could anyone help me stay sane under such an extreme stress? Please stop feeding the trolls... You've been here long enough; you know better.

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Could i marry a muslim i am a non practicing christian. Yes, Muslim men can marry Christian or Jewish women. Neither of you needs to convert. You do not need to cover your head and body (wear "hijab"), that's a cultural practice and not a religious requirement in the Koran. However, you should dress conservatively, and covering your hair is necessary IF you should ever enter a mosque. (Note: Please do not keep posting the...

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Why do so many teenagers swear? I'll be ****ed if I know. ****-mouthed little ****ers. If I ever find out who taught them that it's okay to use that ****ing language, I'll kick their ***.

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I am taking a leave of absence from AB until this situation here is taken care of. The site just isn't enjoyable the past few days. Would you like to come say temporary goodbye? Bye, Shelby. I'm sure you can get more than enough supportive contact from your friends here through email while you're away. Be well. See you soon...

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Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4, What does it say? ...than for the rest of the population.

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What is your opinion of mens ties,I find them binding and uncomfortable and don't wear them? I like 'em, so long as they aren't cheap. I like Christian Dior especially, and Harry Rosen. I wear a shirt and tie to work each day. My jacket stays on a hanger at work, and I'll wear it if I'm going to a formal meeting. Business casual is allowed where I work, and we have jeans on Friday (which I do partake in) but I look good dressed up, and when you look good,...

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Are there any Peanuts (Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, etc.) fans out there? I'd love to ask Schroeder how he got that amazing tone out of a clinky toy piano. Oh, and to thank him for teaching me that girls love musicians. You da man, Schroe.

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I love reading autobiographies. Can you recommend one? I'm quite enjoying "Stand & Deliver: The Autobiography by Adam Ant" but then I'm a fan of his stuff from long back, whereas most people may have only heard his sugar-pop stuff like "Goody Two Shoes". He describes how he invented this alter-ego of his and the path of sex, cutting, and mental illness that followed until he was formally diagnosed with Bipolar...

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What do you think Answerbag could do to improve this site? I would like to be able to search for members by location, so I knew who it would be feasible to meet in person someday.

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What is your Favorite Freddie Mercury Song? An insanely hard question to answer. :) Limiting my choices to songs where he was the sole writer of the music and lyrics, I'd have to say: (1.) Bohemian Rhapsody (Although it's been so overplayed I almost can't listen to it anymore, there' no denying it is an enormously complex and ingenious composition). (2.) Death On Two Legs (3.) Lazing On A Sunday...

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When asking to be someones friend on AB, should it be because you may want to meet them or talk to them in email and develop an actual friendship, or is it simply about making "virtual" friends? I guess it should fulfill whatever need the user has. Some people just need to see a full list there, to make themselves feel better or for appearance sake. The Friend pages hold 60 users each, and some people have filled 1 or 2 pages already. Can you really have a meaningful relationship with that many people? I'm doubtful. The people on my friend list are people that I'm...

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Does any mother or dad out there, think that their own children say between ages of 6 and 16 y/o, think that their kids are ugly? Please reply to AB or frankone@acenet.net.au A recipe is only as good as the ingredients. Any parent that thinks their children are ugly should take a long, honest look at themselves in the mirror, and another look at their partner. After that's done, the parent should sincerely hope that their child didn't inherit shallowness along with the other traits they had foisted upon them. If you're thinking of starting or...

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Would Vista be better if they made it open-source? Sure. It certainly wouldn't be worse. With thousands of people looking over the code in earnest trying to improve it, it would get faster, system requirements would decrease, and stability would be rock-solid. Of course, the day that Bill Gates open-sources Windows, monkeys will fly out of my butt... (So... back to Linux... http://www.kubuntu.org )

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How did you choose your Answerbag name (assuming its not actually your name, that is!)? No. Ask my parents. I was young -- zero, actually -- and didn't have much say in the matter. :)

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Do you have an email address listed in your Public Profile? Do you correspond regularly with any other Answerbaggers? I do (I just added it). Obviously it's too soon to see if it will result in any ongoing correspondences, but I'll update my answer if it does. :)

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Can i bee with a muslim if im cristian and dont want to convert? Yes, Muslim men can marry Christian or Jewish women. Neither of you needs to convert.

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Which Golden Pearl is best?please give some advice. http://perlunapearls.com/golden-pearls_1.html (4th time now....) This user's previous questions have all been spam questions to draw traffic to that website. Check their history. http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=177204

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Which Pearl Bracelet is best?please give some advice. http://perlunapearls.com/pearl-bracelet.html This user's previous questions have all been spam questions to draw traffic to that website. Check their history. http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=177204

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Why are there losers in high school? From my experience it can be difficult to tell who the losers are until after they leave high school. For the dorks, geeks and nerds, high school may be an unpleasant experience that made them resilient in their quest for eventual success -- both personal and professional. For bullies and some jocks, high school might end up being the best time of their lives; never eclipsed by greater...

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I have a network wire (cat6) running to a separate building. In the building I have three additional computers I want to hard wire into the high speed. How do I split the line to the 3 computers? Buy a router. A hub or switch *might* work, but the price difference is so insignificant it makes more sense to just get a router. You can get one that will support both wireless and 4+ wired connections for under $100.

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Whats your greatest DIY achievement? I've restored two homes: an 1890s Queen Anne and a 1911 Arts & Crafts style. With the exception of the licensed work (plumbing, electrical, etc.) I did the majority of work myself over 5 years.

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Can you drink too much coffee? Probably, but the definition of "too much" is a matter of debate. Dave Foley (actor/comedian of NewsRadio and The Kids In The Hall) drinks as many as 50 cups a day when working, but somehow manages to remain alive. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Foley

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What anti-virus software do you recommend and what software do you have on your computer? On Linux, I use nothing because viruses aren't a problem. When I'm compelled to use Windows (at work, friends' computers, etc.) I recommend AVG -- it's free, has low system resource usage, and is highly rated by numerous reviewers and computer magazines.

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Has the AB Facebook application attracted a lot of new users? I'm definitely here because of it. I'd never heard of Answerbag... I was just browsing FB applications and thought I'd give it a try. It was a fun app (even though it was very buggy) and it seemed like it would be worth it to get a full account here. And the rest is infamy. Er, history. Whichever.

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Who's your favourite stand-up comedian? Richard Jeni. Such an imagination. A great voice that held your attention. Amazing stage presence. His stuff made me laugh so much, it hurt. I can't believe he killed himself.

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If someone starts an apology by saying "I'm sorry you..." is it really an apology? No, it's condescension.

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Tell me a good joke. I am very pissed off and need to laugh. Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

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Any famous people you went to school with? No, because (as you probably aren't aware) I was born just west of the middle of nowhere. However, my brother in law went to high school with Nelly Furtado.

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Would you prefer seeing sound or hearing colors? The latter, definitely. I always loved listening to Deep Purple.

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What's the longest period of time you've gone without sex? Nearly 37 minutes. It was the most excruciating dental examination of my life. My dentist was certainly perplexed by my agitation, seeing as my teeth were in perfect shape.

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While sitting on a porch at an old-people's home, you are 90 years old looking back on your life. What is the one thing that you regret not having done or accomplished? I'd be wondering how exactly I failed as a parent, raising children that would dump me in an old-folks home.

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What does moonlighting mean? Moonlighting is working another job, in addition to your main, full-time job. So, you get off your day job and work some more, into the afternoon and evening... Fun fun fun. :)

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What exactly were Paul Simon and Julio doing down in the schoolyard? I'm not sure, but they were there until Late In The Evening. Perhaps they were writing a Song About The Moon. Or maybe just sitting there, enjoying The Sound Of Silence. They're obviously much too young to have been dating, so they weren't trying to come up with a list of 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover... Most likely, they were just on the playground, Slip Slidin' Away....

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Will getting negative points on Answerbag affect my credit rating? Yes, and I'm glad you asked. Poor ratios between your total questions asked/answered and the point totals thereof can have a significant influence on your ability to obtain a credit card, mortgage, or personal loan. In the very least it can substantially affect the percentage of interest charged on the balance owing, which could greatly impact your ability to spend and save. Even...

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How many Linux distro's can you name on the spot? Which one's are they? Ubuntu (Kubuntu, Xubuntu, Edubuntu), PCLinuxOS, openSUSE, Fedora, Debian, MEPIS, Mandriva, Damn Small Linux, Slackware, Gentoo, CentOS, KNOPPIX, Zenwalk, Puppy Linux, Arch Linux, Xandros, Linspire, Freespire, Yellow Dog Linux, KANOTIX. That's not all of them my any stretch, but those are the ones I've used and/or that are somewhat popular.

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What time in January is the next release of Ubuntu Coming? Ubuntu (and Kubuntu, Xubuntu, Edubuntu) all come out on a regular release schedule, every 6 months in April and October. Ubuntu 7.10 (codename "Gutsy Gibbon") is scheduled for release on 18 October 2007 and will be supported with software and security updates until April 2009. The next version will be 8.04 (2008, April) and specific details will be available as that date...

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Apart from bugs encountered with multimedia, does Fiesty Fawn(Ubuntu 7.04) have other bugs!? I use Kubuntu 7.04 and have found it to be extremely stable and bug-free. In any case, the Ubuntu team is extremely responsive. Problems are fixed very quickly and nothing has ever been serious enough to affect the usability of my laptop.

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What is the best open IM client to use? Pidgin (formerly "GAIM") is a good choice because of its broad protocol compatibility (AIM, Bonjour, Gadu-Gadu, Google Talk, Groupwise, ICQ, IRC, MSN, QQ, SILC, SIMPLE, Sametime, XMPP, Yahoo!, & Zephyr), and the fact that it's multiplatform (runs on Windows, Linux, BSD, etc.). http://www.pidgin.im

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How old are you? Hmmm. Lessee. I'm 10 years older than Sheepingly, The same age as Chanel, Ten years younger than AbbyGuy Thirty years younger than Grand Pa

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Churches and schools are closing at an alarming rate...is this a sign of anything? Except in Indianapolis, Indiana. Seems like the day after any store goes out of business, someone's setting up a church in it... Nothing fancy; usually a "Mom & Pop" operation with a congregation of 3. You can't drive 2 city blocks in any direction without seeing one of these. The same might be true in other parts of the bible belt; I can't say. (As for...

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Three words after sex, what would you say? One more time!

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When you die, what will people remember you for? "Bastard. Still owed me ten bucks. Good luck trying to get it from his estate. Hmm. Maybe I'll just take this potted plant, and call it even."

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How does one wage war with the multinational petroleum corporations? Zero dependence on oil is a laudable goal, but it has to begin somewhere. =) I use my old bike when and where possible. I do the most I can do as a single human being, through minimal use of a car, minimal waste production, and recycling. But a cold-turkey solution isn't feasible for most of us, unless we live within walking distance of our job.

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Are the wages of sin about 100 bucks a day Not since sin adjusted for inflation.

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How does one wage war with the multinational petroleum corporations? From the saddle of an 18 speed mountain bike -- thumbing your nose at the gas stations and refineries as you cruise past... or riding in quiet dignity like a modern day two-wheeled Gandhi.

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Who wants to have a have a drink with me and toast the good times? Cheers to all of you! Make mine a Root Beer. Or a Ginger Ale. :)

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What is your town notorious for? - "Winterlude" Festival, and skating on the 11km Rideau Canal - Beautiful tulip gardens - three million tulips to be exact (a gift each year from the Queen of Holland, originally bestowed when Queen Juliana of the Netherlands stayed here during World War II). - The Tulip Festival (woo hoo!) - The Royal Swans (another gift to the City) - The Senators (the hockey team, not the...

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Are you happily married? How long? 6 years.

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Have you ever won cash prize, if so how much? I won about $150 (?) in a 50/50 draw for guessing the arrival date and time of the first finisher of a cross-country cycle race (within a couple of hours, I think).

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Do you have any very good, well thought out questions that seemed to have gotten lost in AB limbo and were never answered? Post links to questions here and let's see if we can help. Good? Well thought-out? Dunno. But here's the ones you missed, folks: "Does anyone still enjoy playing footsie?" http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/346638 "Are you now, or have you ever been, a groupie?" http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/349234 It's entirely likely that they weren't ignored accidentally. :)

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I am a German citizen (17 years old) and i just spent a year in Canada. I want to go back and live there. What is the fastest and easiest way to become a canadian citizen/ resident? Marry one of us. (Not me, of course. But a cute, single woman with a nice smile, attractive universal health care, and no concealed weapons.)

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Who would like a jetpack? Yes, please! :) I fitted LadyLuck with one today, but it seems to have run out of fuel already. Guess I'll fiddle with it more next week...

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What color shirt is not you Pink or Fuchsia. Actually, I owned a pink sweater in the 1980s when pastel colours were in style... I left it an an ex-girlfriend's house 18 years ago, and hope never to see it again. :P

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A very religious Christain nursemaid works for a Jewish family. One day she secretly takes the baby to church and has it baptised. The family doesnt know. OK? or Not Okay? Definitely not okay. I am grounded in religious beliefs, but it pains me when members of any religion act as though their faith represents the singular, absolute truth, and they try to impose that on others. It's arrogant and simple-minded. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism... there's valuable wisdom and a plan for living in all of it.

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How tech/computer savvy are you on a scale of 1-10? Probably 9. I've been fiddling with computers since the 70s, and there's little I haven't learned to do with them. My friends and co-workers get the added bonus of getting their tech problems solved for free. :)

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I'd love your opinion: Which color do these shoes look best in? (Pictures are in first answer) Silver. No question. (Except that said opinion comes from someone who doesn't wear women's shoes, and whose wife chooses all his clothes for him.)

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What else do you put on your nachos besides cheese and monkey flesh? I find that adding a generous helping of scorn helps to spice them up a lot. And, if it turns out too hot, a dash of indifference will tone it down a few degrees. Just remember, you are what you eat.

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In a 3 way fight to the death, who would win, Moses, Mohammed or Jesus? I dunno, but it was nice to see Buddha bow out gracefully. Everyone should be so enlightened.

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You down with OPP? Me, and Every last homie!

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Congratulations to Jodie44 WWT for reaching the Maestro level! Who else would like to send their congrats to Jodie as well? Well done Jodie! I do. :) Phenomenal work, Jodie! You've earned it.

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What is the correct pronunciation of the name ''IHOP''? "I hop" Like we're playing leapfrog. :)

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Is anyone on here a stand-up comedian? I'm a freelance satirist. All of the benefits of a touring comedian, without the traveling, income, groupies, TV appearances... Heywaitaminute!

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Why (biologically) do women talk so much more than men? The latest comprehensive study says that this belief is a myth. http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=3348076 Men and women talk about the same amount.

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You've been invited to a costume party; what are you most likely to go as? A nudist, and I'll tell you why: (1.) Low cost/no rental fees (You should've been issued your own suit, free of charge). (2.) Quick preparation time (Change into your costume in seconds). (3.) Washable in warm or hot water and regular soap. (4.) (Almost) Guaranteed that no-one will show up at the party with the same costume. (5.) Always the center of attention at any party...

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Spice girls are getting back together to go on tour. Thoughts? I'm concerned, naturally. Wasn't that one of the seven signs of the apocalypse? I'm bummed that I'll never get my stamp collection completed, but at least I won't wave to worry about being late with my taxes this year.

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How many points does it take to level up? 13, and it's killing me (and not from superstition). Sometimes you throw down your best stuff, and the points just don't come. (Of course, this answer isn't one of them...)

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What percentage of questions posted on AB simply be answered "go to a doctor"? I honestly don't know, but the longer I'm here, the more I see Nelson's genius in posing this question.

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Why does Fergie spell in so many of her songs? She's making the most of her fancy, private education.

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What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? Her name was Lola! She was a showgirl. No, wait, stop the music. :P Other than my wife at our wedding, I would have to say the Aurora Borealis. One night, in my early teens, I literally lay out on my back lawn and just stared for I don't know how long. It was like the sky had become Neapolitan ice cream. Twenty years ago, and I can still picture it.

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I don't like fill-in-the-blank questions because ________? Uhhhhhhhhhhh.................. PASS!

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Is the attraction you first had with your mate still as strong as it was when you met? No, it's much stronger. Since then, I've had seven years to learn from, love, respect and appreciate a woman who I once understood in only the most superficial way. And what I know about her now only adds to the attraction I felt the first time I saw her.

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Do you regularly hold doors open for people, let others get ahead of you in traffic and try to generally give others a break? It takes surprisingly little time and effort to be kind and conscientious to others -- especially strangers -- and yet so many of us can't find the time and energy. It's sad. I hold doors for people everyday, and often I get a reaction as though I've done something remarkable or chivalrous. Then, there are those who accept the place in line or the opened door without so much...

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Is Fox News slightly biased? Is Ann Coulter slightly conservative? :)

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Are you a lover or a hater? I am such a hater, bad ass, SOB. Oh, and a liar, too. ;-) Uhm... Make your own judgment about me, I guess. No one is anything 100% of the time.

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Do I have to feel guilty after sleeping with about 50 women by the age of 32, keeping in mind varsity years and pub crawling? "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!" ;) Ah... actually I don't think that youth and alcohol in itself can account for those startling numbers. Getting to that level still required many ongoing choices, which you obviously made during those fleeting moments of sobriety. :) (Sorry... I am kidding. I like this question, and am glad you asked it.) I guess...

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Does anyone need a hug right now? Why? Yes, please! And remember - they're recyclable. Pass them along to your friends.

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Are you a hugger? I am, but sadly I've met relatively few people of like-mind, both in my personal or professional relationships. :( Oh, and if you haven't answered this one, would you? http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/346532 Merci. :)

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If people like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton can't sing then how come their so popular to begin with? Why are they popular? Paris Hilton: Even in the era of globalization, we haven't lost our need for a village idiot. She fills that role worldwide, and with distinction. Britney Spears: It's not difficult to see how the trend in music changed from average-looking people blessed with talent, to attractive-looking people blessed with producers, songwriters, image consultants,...

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What's the first thing popup in your mind if someone ask you "What's your size" Very long and deep. What? OH! You meant "S-I-Z-E"? I was talking about "S-I-G-H-S". And in retrospect, I'll stick my with original answer.

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How many things you can do in same time (like driving, drinking, smoking)? Thinking about my drive in this morning, I think I can do about 9 things at once: #1: Drive my car. #2: Listen to the radio. #3: Sing along. #4: Wiggledance in my seat. #5: Keep a watch out for idiot motorists. #6: Smell my lovely vanilla hazelnut coffee. #7: Drink it with my free hand. (Makes my singing hard to understand though, and tends to stain my shirt.) #8: Taste it as...

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Why has no one walked on the moon since 1972? The sets that the government used to film those scenes were lost in a fire the following year. Subsequent budget cuts and increasing demands for 'hush money' from those connected with the original project have both contributed to the unlikelihood of seeing "Man On The Moon 2 - Electric Boogaloo" anytime soon. Sorry fans. :)

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If you were given the oppertunity to go on Big Brother, would you? No privacy? Not even to shower or use the toilet... I don't think so. I'm not a prude, but I do have some absolute limitations. :)

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Do you think circumcision can help check spread of HIV? The latest well-publicized study indictated so: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4371384.stm But those results disagree with earlier studies that claimed the opposite: http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/HIV/vanhowe4/ What is clear is that nothing but a condom will lower your risk, and banking on circumcision either way is suicidal.

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Do you feel better now that you have read the last Harry Potter book? Not really. I thought it ended rather abruptly, considering how many significant characters died. I think Rowling did a comparatively better job with handling Dumbledore. The epilogue was interesting I suppose, but it focused on only the 3 main characters. I was left wondering how the others in the series coped with their losses, and how their futures turned out. Perhaps this is a...

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What is your favorite nonsense holiday? *National All or Nothing Day is July 26th* 'Take Your Dog to Work Day' This year it was June 22 in the U.S. (9th annual), but it is also celebrated in other countries. I think the U.K. had their 11th Annual this year.

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Whats the funniest name of a person you have met? Dick Hertz. Poor guy. Of course, when he was young, "Dick" was a perfectly nice nickname for Richard.

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Now that you're grown up... what was your reaction when you ran into your first crush? Girls like her used to be unattainable to me. Or so I thought. In the years since, I'd dated women of her calibre, and married a gem. My crush hadn't changed, so I must have. Not so much physically, but mentally. Self confidence -- the proper kind that's free of ego and selfishness -- really does make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

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How does the copy of Vista that came with my new pc differ from the one sold on store shelf for $200? Is it possible to upgrade an older pc from xp to vista using the recovery DVD that comes with the new pc assuming both pc's are of the same brand? You could, but it would be a violation of your end user license agreement to install Vista on a second computer... Not that it would work anyway (without some serious, illegal tampering on your part). Microsoft products "phone home" on a regular basis to check in with Mr. Gates, just to make sure you're using individually licensed, legal copies of your Microsoft software. ...

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Do you drink Ribena? Oh yes, I do. Undiluted. Warm. Straight from the bottle. Among some African tribes, most notably the Bakongo and the Maasai, this feat is considered a test of manhood. And well... if that doesn't scare you, knowing that Ribena is manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline should give you reason to pause before sipping.

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If a magical fairy named Ted granted you a choice between immortality, infinite women, or a family with two kids and a dog, which would you choose? I'd like to counter your lovely fantasy with a "dose" of reality: Infinite women = Infinite STDs. Immortality = Eternity is a long time to live with (fill in horrible, incurable but non-fatal STD of your choice). So, I guess it's choice #3, though not by default. Anyone who has read my other answers to relationship questions knew it was my first choice all along. :)

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Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears all seem quite adamant about ending up dead (from drugs and risky/suicidal behaviour). Who'll go first, and how? I'm hoping for all at once. One can only hope that they'll somehow cancel each other out, and leave innocent lives behind. :)

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I just asked a question about a possible troll and there is a red box saying that my question was rejected because it is unclear or subjectie. What does that mean? It means: "Don't feed the trolls." Attention only encourages more of the same.

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"Tolkein, while highly imaginative and intelligent, wasn't a good writer." Your thoughts? Tolkien (i before e ;) was a master of linguistics and lore. While he's a little verbose, and I don't personally care for his inclusion of songs in his books (no doubt from his love of poetry), I think he's a great writer nonetheless. I do think your statement would be a dead-on description of J. K. Rowling, however. :) http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/352475

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Would you kill your own child if (by some kind of magic or logic) it meant that no child would ever die of starvation ever again? You've obviously never had a child. (At least I hope you haven't.) This is unthinkable to me, even hypothetically.

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Should people on welfare / benefits / scoungers be GIVEN a job to justify the rest of us having to carry them through life? Uh... is isn't one of those loaded questions, is it? One where the answer is already secretly hidden in the question, and I'll be slapped down to the ground with downratings if I go outside the clearly marked parameters? :) I take the Fifth on the basis that any answer I give may be used to persecute me. Can a Canadian take the Fifth? I will anyway. ;)

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Is it safe to drink from a garden hose? Yes, I think so... If it isn't, I'm some kind of walking medical miracle/anomaly. :) (The warm water inside the hose will probably taste so bad you won't want to drink it, and the cool water that follows will come straight from the house plumbing... there's the good stuff!)

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Who was the best Star Trek Executive Officer? Chakotay. :) I related especially well to both his personality and his First Nations culture. It was great to see that shared in a popular television franchise.

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On your first question on answerbag.com how many answers, and how many points did you get? 11 answers, 26 points as of this writing. And my first question was: "Are we 'touch-starved' in this society? Do you get enough hugs, or do you need to see your massage therapist to pay for the TLC you wish your life contained?" http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/346532

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What is a Thingy? Dunno, but momma said not to touch it.

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What is the fastest you have ever driven on a normal road (i.e. not a dedicated racing track)? Just curious, *not* advocating speeding. It was over 120+ MPH [193+ Kph] (I buried the needle). The car was a 1972 Plymouth Satellite Sebring (318 cu.in.). I was 16 and I was trying to get back to town in time for work. Made it! Alive, and on time. (Thankfully. I wasn't as good a driver then as I am now.) I miss that car.

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Do you give good massages? So I've heard. :) I've been practicing since 1994 and it used to make me some pretty nice pocket money in my spare time. :) The longest one I ever did took about 5 hours and 30 minutes (and to think she was a nervous first-timer who wasn't sure she wanted full-body). I think my ability to make people feel calm and safe in addition to feeling physically better probably...

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I need a massage.. do you? Yes! I wish I had someone who wasn't too tired to give me one. A massage buddy I could trade with would be ideal. Honestly, who can afford to get one as often as they need one? :) I can't.

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Foot massage, shoulders or back rub? I can only have one? :( If possible, start at my feet, then do the whole body, front and back. If you're really just limiting me to one... back rub, I guess. But it's like having the appetizer without the main course and the dessert. :)

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Is (popular) music better today than it has ever been? No, but I imagine that the current generation of listeners may disagree with me. I'm a Gen-X'er, and my album collection spans from 1940s (mostly swing, like Glenn Miller) to the 2000s... but my favourites are in the 1980s.

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Im nearlly six weeks pregnunt,i found out yesterday which came as abit of a shock,i already have a two and a half year old little boy but im not sure if im ready for another one yet.i also dont think my partner is ready either.any solutions plz? You may not be up for a moral argument, seeing we now live in an era where personal indulgence and sex-as-recreation has changed how many of us think and act... but I'm going to give you one anyway. :) The "solution" is to have the child. With the number of couples unable to conceive these days, I have a difficult time defining pregnancy as a problem. Honestly (and you...

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How long have you had your computer for ? Has it broke down yet? My main desktop is one I built 7 years ago. Yeah, seven. :) It's always worked well (I clean its insides regularly) and has only had one breakdown -- when the hard drive finally wore out after 6 years. It'd be nice to have a newer one I guess, but there's really nothing wrong with it.

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Want to find out how many people in the US have your name go to http://howmanyofme.com/search/ there are 0 people with my first name and their are 2,357 with my surname which makes it the 13,124th popular name in the US. In the U.S. there are 106 people with my name. Of course, I'm not one of them.

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Is it a good idea to take a challenging course even if you cannot get the top grade? Staying within your known limits is the safe choice... but you'll never really grow unless you forcibly try to reach beyond your grasp. Like the grain of sand that irritates the oyster into producing a pearl, you'll need to endure some adversity in order to reach your full potential, and produce something remarkable. Don't be afraid to be something beyond ordinary....

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Missionary or doggie? On my lap, on a chair. If the chair walks across the floor, you're doing it right. :) Just make sure it's on linoleum. This could kill a hardwood floor.

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What is your favorite chick flick? "While You Were Sleeping" with Sandra Bullock. The hospital bed scene where she tells the family how she fell in love with them gets me every time. EVERY time. If it can still melt my evil heart after 2 dozen viewings, I'm sure it must crush more than a few of you as well. :)

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So far I've been extremely lucky. Wonderful people in my life, great jobs, made some good decisions..even hit a Grand Slam Home Run once..(having my son). So I'd say so far my batting average would be around 900..maybe 950. What is your batting average? Year-To-Date: .850 Career Avg.: .300

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What is it that America's missing when it comes to the Palestinian issue? Objectivity.

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Would you be offended if you saw someone wearing a T-Shirt that said: "Jesus Was A Hufflepuff"? Offended, no. Irritated perhaps. Any religious scholar worth their salt knows it was Gryffindor. And, if it needs to be said, Lucifer was a Prefect (and later, Head Boy) in Slytherin.

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Are we not wearing the pants of freedom? We've tried, but they keep getting scared off by the politicians and the media. They like us naked and vulnerable for some reason. Hmmm... Ooops! The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has just raised the terror alert level to RED. Time to lose the underwear, folks.

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How many cigarettes have you smoked in your life? None. Zero. Nadda. Zip. So where's the new car I'm supposed to have bought? :)

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Why do news networks spend so much time on stupid subjects like Anna Nicole Smith, when there are real subjects out in the world that actually *matter*? Because for a very long time now, news has been about entertainment, not reality. Statistically, crime rates have declined over the last 30 years and yet coverage of crime has skyrocketed. No, we don't need to talk about how the loss of Anna Nicole Smith has affected the world. But death, scandal, fear, and tales of idiocy reel in viewers, which generates tidy profits for the...

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Does anyone else chuckle when they year Fox news channels slogan "fair and balanced"? It used to be funny, until I discovered that there are people who actually believe it. I guess any lie, repeated often enough, becomes true.

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Can you please post a bigger version of your avatar, so we can actually see it? Here you are. It's a version of a picture I posted here: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1105345

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I just noticed that the cat treats that I have been buying for years have added coloring to some of the pieces. Thought that a cat's eyesight in color was not so good because they are made for seeing in low lighting. Why put green coloring on treats? The colouring is meant to appeal to you, the owner... After all, if it looks better, it sells better. Often, it's to suggest the variety of flavours in the kibble. "Beneful" by Purina is a good example of this.

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I'm class of 2001 what about you?(high school) 1988.

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What is your favorite brand of cigarettes? Popeye Cigarettes. I'm not sure if they're sold outside of Canada, but they're delicious.

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DO you have any Long stories about snakes? No, sorry. But I do have a short story about a worm.

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Which sport makes the female body look most attractive? Synchronized skinny dipping. My sources tell me it's supposed to make its Olympic debut at the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing, though there's a slight chance that the Chinese will scrap that plan. ...Word is, they're kind of repressive. (I don't get it. Don't Communists like naked women?)

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Who's Your Favorite Food Product Mascot? Those cows in "Chick-fil-A" restaurant ads that hold up the placards saying "Eat Mor Chikin".

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If you are a man, have you ever had a hard-on when your female doctor gave you the physical? No. But it sounds like I could use a referral to your doctor. No! Stop! Wait! It was just a joke! :)

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How fast is too fast? Uhm... before I answer: Are you a law enforcement officer?

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Would you choose not to date someone who didn't know the difference between your and you're? I've tried, and it didn't work. Though it wasn't a "deal breaker" or anything, it was the tip of the iceberg of a range of incompatibilities in interests and intellect.

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Are you comfortable granting "friends" requests from people who, as far as you know, are total strangers? No... though I have a broad definition of "stranger". If I've read enough sensible answers from someone and/or heard others talk about them positively, I'd gladly add someone even if I hadn't had first-hand exchanges. The way I see it, I would eventually become their friend anyway... why not pledge that mutual interest and proceed along? :)

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If you had a choice between keeping a job taking a pay cut, and be demoted or get fired which would you choose? I'd leave. Once you let people know they can undervalue you and you'll accept it, you've created an irreversible precedent. They'll devalue you again -- through lower wages, less flexibility, less respect -- because you've shown them they can.

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What kind of bird is on the new Idaho quarter? Also a Latin phrase is inscribed, any thoughts on meaning? The Latin roughly translates: "Though the forest is twisted and treacherous, we shall survive the Bush."

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Mac & Cheese or Mashed Potatoes? Kraft Dinner, baby!

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If you have a cat, is (s)he a good mouser? No, but I have dogs (Labradors & Golden Retrievers) and they are all excellent mousers. In the fall, when the cold weather hits, it's not uncommon for me to find them with a little prize when I serve them their morning breakfast. And once, not long ago, one came home with a prized catch in her mouth from the field. :) Can't say they don't earn their keep.

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Is there a p2p site where i can download zork nemesis or other graphic vesions of zork (non text games)? sites for emule or bittorent only plz. This isn't a site for software piracy tips.

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How many peach pits would it take to actually kill someone....and no i'm not going to kill anyone Depends on how and where you administer them, I suppose... If you insert them into someone's windpipe: one. If you bury someone under a pile of them until they suffocate: probably a lot. If you shoot pits at someone out of an air cannon: some number in the middle. To my knowledge this has never been scientifically tested. Should you change your mind and proceed, be sure to...

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If I requested your friendship, would you accept or deny my request? Would. Did. Pleased that you thought of me. ;-)

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How long has it been since you went swimming? I haven't gone swimming in about 10 years. Haven't owned a bathing suit in over 20 years. No plans to buy one. Still, I might swim again, if the chance came up. :)

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Which one would you chose? A 2007 Toyota Yaris S or a 2007 Chevy Cobalt? Toyota's quality and repair record is almost beyond reproach. That's how they managed to eclipse GM as the biggest auto manufacturer in North America.

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What is your favorite line in a movie? Bruce Campbell in "Army of Darkness": "Alright you primitive screwheads -- listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut...

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Were you a part of the hippie movement? Technically, yes. I was a fetus inside of a hippie who danced a lot. Groovy!

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What is your favorite dog breed? The Labrador Retriever. As someone who managed an animal rescue (and been a lifelong pet owner), I've had a lot of exposure to different breeds. Labs are easy to train, loyal, loving, and great with children. *** Whatever you get -- Adopt from a rescue or a shelter. ***

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What do you think of people who put questions in the wrong category? All the more moderation points for me, I guess. :)

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Tattoos on females, attractive or not? It's personal preference, but I think there's nothing more beautiful than natural, ink-free, bare skin. If you want to paint it up with team colours to cheer at the hockey game, or wear a little whipped cream for other "unspecified" activities, that's fine by me... then there's opportunities for fun in the shower or the bedroom later. ;-)

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Do you feel your way of life is threatened by radical Islamic fundamentalists? Not nearly as threatened as I feel by the religious extremists in North America.

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If you got a letter saying "You may already be a wiener!" What would you do? Double-check in the mirror. You never know.

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Why are Mondays so boring? :-? Your jobs sucks. Time to pursue that dream of becoming a forensic investigator, managing a nudist colony, or whatever other little dream you've been harbouring in your skull. :)

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If you were a hamburger would you want to be the burger or the bun? I think I'm substance; the meat, not the bread. On the other hand, I do have pretty nice buns... :)

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Who here on AB answered your very first question? AmorphousBlob :) And here it is: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1088648

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What's a good name for my Police cover band? Naming yourself after a song title is the most standard method. Ghost In The Machine had some good track names... like "Invisible Sun", for example.

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What is your Favorite DOS game? Castle Wolfenstein. Or, any of those original iD software games, like DOOM.

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What is your favorite old school video game? Time Pilot!

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What celebrity would you least like to be? Verne Troyer.

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How many friends do you have on your friend thing on AB? So far, I've had 5 requests from others. The rest are friends I added.

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Name one thing that you are grateful that exists in life ?(don't name Life itself or someone that you know). Animals. Especially pets, like dogs. Unconditional love is precious.

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What is the appeal of White Castle? Beats me, but that 20 pack bag 'o' buns with the deli-thin-sliced patties that are punched full of holes like Swiss cheese can be a cheap and effective way to soak up all that booze you've been swilling, when it's 3AM and you've got the munchies. Well, ... so I'm told, anyway. :) It's not like I drink or anything... (anymore)

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Do you ever read the newspaper? Nope... Reading online is more eco-friendly and more up-to-the-minute.

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Are Answerbaggers forgetting to rate the questions? I think so. Or at least I'd prefer to think that it's an oversight, and not that my questions aren't decent. I try not to write too many fluffy ones... and if they weren't interesting, would people even bother to answer them in the first place? As an answerer, I try to give at least some points to anything that piqued my interest enough to respond.

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Regardless of rating, what are some of your answers to other peoples' questions that you are particularly proud of? (Include links!) Here's a few, of various lengths and seriousness: Do you get severely depressed? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1105565 Why has no one walked on the moon since 1972? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1132246 Married people: When did you know that the person you were going to marry was actually the right one instead of someone that you would possibly meet later on in life? ...

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How did you choose who you wanted on your friends list? I started by asking about 8 users who'd been especially friendly to me from the start. :) More about that here: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1106463

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What answer have you received the most points for? Links please! One of patti jo's: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1087889 (39 points, as of now)

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Would you join me in wishing mx_rider719 a happy birthday? Also, a "Welcome to AB" if you haven't yet? Hi MX, I've enjoyed your questions and our comments back and forth. Welcome! It doesn't matter that your birthday was yesterday. If the thread stays alive, we'll turn it into a few days... a week? Who knows?

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What is the easiest way to make some quick cash in the sum of $5,000.00? Depends on the depths of moral depravity that one is willing to traverse. :) Perhaps: (1.) Selling your car, or -- if you're handy with a slim jim -- someone else's car. (2.) Selling an organ (from your body, not your living room) on the black market. (3.) A low-budget adaptation of the film "Indecent Proposal"? Note: This information is for entertainment...

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Should Canadian bacon have its own ab category? While American and Canadian bacon share a common origin, and their relationship is one characterized by deep friendship and much good will, it is clear they are quite different indeed. I sincerely believe that Canadian bacon is unique enough in shape, texture, character, heritage and language to rate its own category, even if it's only a sub-category of "bacon". Of...

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Well , I'm going to bacon now , will I see you in the bacon later ? ( yawning ) Of course. Good night, Sleep tight, Don't let the bacon bite. :)

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Is it just me or are we adding friends left and right? Maybe. I'm not. I started out slowly... by asking about 8 users who'd been especially friendly to me from the start. :) I've since gratefully accepted the invitation of a few more great contributors, who I'm pleased to have been even noticed by (considering my short tenure). I take their gesture as a compliment that I'm writing semi-useful/interesting material,...

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How many people think that "Favourite" and "Colour" look better with the U's added? As a Canadian I learned the Queen's English... so it's favourite, colour, splendour, flavour, etc. So, among other things, I'll continue to love tea, vinegar on my chips, and usage of the letter "U" until I'm pushing up daisies, I'm afraid. :)

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Why do people insist on listening to their ipods and things of that nature so loud everyone else can hear their music too? Because their taste in music is impeccable. And if you don't believe me, ask them. :)

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Does it seem as though serious questions often get glossed over? Why is that? They only appeal to a certain type of user -- ones that are intellectually capable of answering, in the mood to answer, and actually present to answer at the time of posting (or, who are in the right frame of mind if/when they find the question later). Fluff questions will probably always generate more responses, because anyone can answer them, anytime, without too much effort.

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What if the Emerald City doesn't have any bacon? We'll follow the Yellow Brick Road until we find a "Denny's", I guess.

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What is your favorite song by Weird Al Yankovic? Spam. I almost like it better than the original (REM's "Stand"). Never seen him in concert, but I'd love to.

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What is your shoe size and do you like it? Size 11.

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Let's celebrate Fun's new AB category! Take a song title and replace one word with the word "bacon". What did you get? 1980's Bacon Songs I Loved ================================== Some were classics; some forgotten ================================== Air Supply - "All Out Of Bacon" Queen - "Crazy Little Thing Called Bacon" Peter Gabriel - "Bacon Without Frontiers" The Pretenders - "Bacon In Pocket" Tommy Tutone - "867-5309/Bacon" The Greg Kihn...

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Whats all this about bacon? Can anyone help? Little_Piggy, If you need a place to stay until the whole bacon craze blows over, mi casa es su casa. Sit, relax, and feel free to nod off, resting comfortably with the knowledge that your lovely ham hocks will still be there in the morning. I don't eat pork bacon.

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What's your favorite Kevin BACON movie? Mine is the Air Up There - haha Footloose. The cheese factor makes it quite compelling. :) Now, had you asked for The Baconator's "Best Performance"...

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Whatcha bacon in your oven? I'm bacon brownies. Want one?

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Is anyone else craving bacon REALLY bad after reading all these questions? Strangely enough, no. I should be though, shouldn't I?

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Do you get severely depressed? I've struggled with depression on and off for most of my life; since long before I even understood what depression was. When depression begins early in your life, as it did in mine, it becomes impossible to distinguish, at least internally, as something abnormal. If it's something you've experienced over a long period of time, it becomes what you recognize as your own...

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Would you give someone from Answerbag your IM name (MSN, Yahoo!, AIM, etc.) so that you could get to know them better without having to do so through questions/comments? I don't use IM much, but I'd give an email address.

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Am I the only one who thinks Brian Peppers is sexy? No. Marilyn Manson has been after Brian for some time now, wanting him to join as a guitarist: partly for his playing, but mostly because he's a gothbabe magnet.

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What do you look like? Generic male human. (Pix removed. Sorry.)

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Do you prefer KDE or Gnome and why? While I appreciate the simplicity of GNOME, I really like the degree of customizability that KDE offers. Plus, I think it has some truly great native applications like Amarok, Kaffeine, and K3B.

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How many hours average a week do you watch TV? Not a lot. About 3-5.

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So whats makes you so special? Mom says I was oxygen deprived at birth. ;-)

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Which do you like better Myspace or Facebook? I'm on both, but I prefer Facebook, because: - I don't want to see hideous wallpaper that is impossible to read text over. - I don't want to wait 12 minutes for profile pages to load. - FB has better, more customizable privacy controls. - FB applications kick ass.

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How well do you listen to others when they speak? ZzzzzzzZzzzzzzZzzzzzz...

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What is the most gruesome movie you have ever seen? Sicko

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Where's the worst place you have ever been? Flint, Michigan was depressing to drive through.

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What are some girl's names that begin with the letter "F"? (and please nothing crude, my wife wants a nickname) Fabia, Fadia, Faeryn, Faith (Fayth), Faithanne, Fancy, Farah (Farrah), Fatema (Fatima), Fawn, Felicia, Felicity, Fern, Ferna, Ferrari (fast and hot?), Ferryn, Fianna, Florana, Florence (Flo), Floris, Frances, Francesca, Francisca, Franka...

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What would you do if you found out your mom cheated on your dad and hes not your real dad? Write a tell-all book.

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How many times do you think you will be married in your life? Once. It took a long time to find her, and as the mother of my children she's irreplaceable. Whether (God forbid) death or divorce do us part, she is the only one I will walk along this road with.

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If you were to invent a super-hero what would he/she/it be like? AnswerMan! ...providing Mr. & Mrs. Joe Public with stupendous tidbits of information, accumulated as a result of a deadly laboratory experiment gone awry! (Or, truthfully, a meager public education and some overpriced degrees from university).

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Do people think you're funny? Users of the last website where I did major contributing thought so. I'm here for a second opinion. :)

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Why do these "informercials" always use the worst ham actors? It's desperation and need meeting at the crossroads. Two entities finding the lowest common denominator. Would any decent actor need to do infomercials in order to pay the bills? :) While he's far from being a terrible actor, even Michael Caine freely admits to taking bad movie roles just to cover the expenses of adding rooms to his house.

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Married people: When did you know that the person you were going to marry was actually the right one instead of someone that you would possibly meet later on in life? At the time I'd met this amazing woman, I was extremely successful financially (as the owner of a small corporation), had a good network of friends, and was able to pursue a professional music career (a lifelong dream) part time. Life just couldn't get any better. When the lady said she was moving to another country to attend university there, I had to make a choice. So, I spent...

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How determined are you to reach your goals? I dare you to try and stop me. :)

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Does this make me nuts and are you going to do it too? I ordered "HP & the Deathly Hallows" and I plan on doing nothing that weekend but wait for and read the book. I pre-ordered the book and will try to read it in one sitting if possible, partly out of pure anticipation and partly because I don't want to accidentally encounter a spoiler. I did this for "Half-Blood Prince" as well, and I'm glad I did because people were posting "SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE" all over the place. ...And that would've ruined my read.

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What is your all-time favorite 80's song? Favourite 80s song: "Always Something There To Remind Me" - Naked Eyes Favourite 80s song that was actually written in the 80s (i.e. not a cover): "Only The Lonely" - Motels

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What time did you wake up today? 5:15 AM - just like every other work day. :/

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What was your very first memory? My first clear memory is from about age 3. We'd just moved to a new house. It was my first night sleeping in a strange place. I remember the orange, yellow and white 70s flower-print sheets and pillowcases on the bed I was being directed to sleep on.

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Do you freecycle? If so, what's the nicest thing you've ever been given? My favourite re-gift was a year-old Linksys Wireless-G router with Speedbooster (which I couldn't have afforded to buy at the time). It still provides all the wired/wireless Internet in my house. Thanks friend, wherever you are. :)

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Have you joined the Facebook group "Answerbaggers" yet? Just did. :) Thanks for letting me know it existed.

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On AB, who did you send your first friend request to? Who was the first person to send an invitation to you? My first invitation sent was to gtravels. My first invitation received was from Stableboy. :)

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Has anyone else noticed that we have at least two or three people a week trying to find out how to beat a drug test? Is Answerbag becoming Stonerbag? My favourite was the person who asked where to buy / how to make fake report cards. Cheaterbag? Hmmmm....

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Now the 'Comments' light on my profile won't go out. Should I just pull the fuse? You can be anal (like me) and search until you find comments that are inexplicably buried on page 8 or 12 of your list, read them, and then be frustrated that the Comments light is *still* lit, and hit "Mark all as read". Or, you can just give up if you see nothing on page one and hit "Mark all as read", and try not to wonder if you missed anything important.

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What is the difference between a cereal killer and a surreal killer? One is packed with 12 essential nutrients, minerals, and vitamins, and attacks his victims by creating a suction force that drowns the victim by combination of the airtight bowl and drowning in the milk... The other is chanting in a dreamlike state as he lunges at you repeatedly with a viciously sharp banana he stole from the fruitbowl on the breakfast table. I think this is Salvador...

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Anything you can do I can do better, what can you can do better than I? - Mental health counseling. - Play bass guitar. - Massage therapy.

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Would you switch names with your pet? I have 4 dogs, all female, so... no dice. :)

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What is your favorite drink? Chocolate milk. (Just a big kid, I guess.)

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Which version of Linux is most friendly for first-time users? For new users, I'd recommend: Ubuntu ( http://www.ubuntulinux.org/ ) Kububtu ( http://www.kubuntu.org/ ) OpenSUSE ( http://en.opensuse.org/ ) PCLinuxOS ( http://www.pclinuxos.com/ ) Most popular Linux distributions are available free of charge. Go to their website and download an ISO disk image, and then burn the image to a CD or DVD as applicable.

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How do i update to linux Most popular Linux distributions are available FREE of charge. Go to their website and download an ISO disk image, and then burn the image to a CD or DVD as applicable (do not just copy the ISO to a blank disk). For new users, I'd recommend: OpenSUSE ( http://en.opensuse.org/ ) Ubuntu Linux( http://www.ubuntulinux.org/ ) Kububtu Linux ( http://www.kubuntu.org/ ) PCLinuxOS (...

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What do you find attractive about the male/female body? Can't say I have a preference; it's the whole experience that is enjoyable. Clothed, it's a beautiful package to unwrap and savour at leisure.

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How did they do that? Carefully, with a pair of tweezers.

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Where did you lose your virginity? It was last seen disappearing down a tunnel. Sorry I can't provide a better description. It was quite dark.

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Have you seen my nametag? It's on the night table, next to your keys, just like always.

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What's the worst thing you can say to a man after he gives a poor performance in bed? I wonder if I can get a tax receipt for my charitable contribution...?

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Why do women go to the bathroom in groups? So they can talk about whoever didn't come along with them.

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How do i put windows live messenger on my memory stick and can use it off the stick and when i take the stick out its still on my stick. I don't know of a solution for Windows Messenger, however, if you want a portable Instant Message client that is compatible with AOL, MSN and Yahoo, there's Miranda. This, and a whole range of other portable applications (including browser, office suite, media players) are all available free (to download AND to use, no nagware) at: http://portableapps.com

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How old were you when you learned how to use the computer? Seven. And the computer was a brand new Apple ][.

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Where is someplace that i wouldnt expect to find you? Sitting inside your refrigerator, eating last night's chow mein.

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If I were to opened one of your closets , what would fall on top of me? One of those fold-out ironing boards behind the door that *looks* just like a closet, but isn't.

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Water from mexico =bad? Montezuma's Revenge != good. (Montezuma's Revenge <> good).

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Who turned the heat down I'm freezing? Put on a sweater.

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Are you a spoiled child? I wish. I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.

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Are you 'the serious, matter of fact' type, or the 'class clown, make everybody laugh' type? Actually, I'm the dry-witted, serious-seeming, say-humourous-things-with-a-straight-face then-see-how-you-react guy. :)

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Real bacon, Turkey bacon or veggie bacon, which do you eat? I love turkey bacon. The taste is the same, but it's not laced with huge strips of fat. If you haven't tried it, try it.

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Do you use Wikia(.com)? Yes, via Uncyclopedia.org and some of its other hosted sites.

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Who, other than yourself, is your favorite Answerbag user? It's pretty early on, but I already owe some appreciation to some particular folks who've been especially friendly and helpful to me. In no particular order: gtravels, Momma Bear, patti jo, Carmella Candy Hearts, RosieG, Shelby, Biggie14, Arisztid, Stableboy. Thanks muchly!

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What not to say to a woman with a mustache? You've got dirt on your upper lip.

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Can you dance? Are you buyin'? :)

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I am 8yrs older than my bf. Is it ok to have a bf who is 8yrs younger than me? I am 34 and he is 26 but he is matured on his age when he thinks things and about his future. I am just confused on this. Statistically, (and I've misplaced the study) the optimal age gap is 7 years, with the man being older than the woman. Having nearly the reverse situation doesn't make your relationship doomed to fail, but the maturity gap (to whatever degree it exists) will be much more pronounced.

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What's the worst thing you've thrown away by mistake? My virginity.

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Can prayer cure cancer? Faith, or any sort of positive thinking, has a great potential to improve health (as demonstrated by the efficacy of placebo pills in scientific experiments). Should it be used as the primary or the only treatment to cure cancer? Never.

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Guess who’s coming to dinner? Sidney Poitier?

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How do I tell this guy i have been seeing off and on for three years that i'm in love with him? We have never even talked about the L word. Heres another problem I'm married w/children and hes single w/no children. My marriage has been over awhile. (1.) Your marriage is over when the divorce is final. (2.) If years have passed and this man has never said he loves you, I would question your importance in his life. That he's okay about seeing you despite the fact that you're married brings his character into question. Perhaps you're a safe diversion -- fun to play with then put back on the shelf; available for sex but...

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Do you appreciate abstract art? No, but I've given serious and recurring thought to barfing on a canvas, and seeing if I could sell it for $100,000.

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Do you have a favorite architectural style that you look for when buying a home? I like Victorian. I'm not sure I could fall in love with a house than was less than 100 years old.

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What's your favorite scent of incense? Vanilla.

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Who most shaped the person you are today? It's a toss up between Betty Crocker and Ben & Jerry. :) No, it's actually a good friend and mentor I have, who taught me how to be a better social worker and (by example) a better human being.

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Would you ever date outside of your race? I married outside my race. That never entered my mind as a piece of selection criteria. How many potential soulmates are you missing out on, if you've specified in advance that they need to be of a certain ethnicity?

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If you could perfect your relationship with just one person in this world, who would it be? My wife. I don't know that a perfect relationship is really possible with anyone, but making the effort every day can only help.

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Have you ever cried when a celebrity died? If so, who? No, but I was saddened when Stevie Ray Vaughan died -- after he'd successfully completed rehab and released another hit album. The timing couldn't have been worse. Losing Freddie Mercury was bad too. One of the most talented vocalists and unique songwriters who ever lived.

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How many enemies do you think you have on AB? In life? Your life is generally much happier when you make a point not to tally these things. How many friends do you have on AB? In life? That's what gets my sorry carcass out of bed every morning. :)

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My does my computer (desktop, Windows XP Media Center Edition) keep randomly shutting down? I have no viruses (I think, my virusscan may be corrupt) yet still the computer shuts off without notice. .

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Which name do you think is the best name of all time? It has come to my attention that my choice above may not be completely impartial. Sorry. :)

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What not to say to your date's parents? Did she always have freckles all over her body, or have they just started to accumulate over time?

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What's the worst thing you can say to someone at a nude beach? How sad. I wonder how small it gets -after- you've been swimming?

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Do you put your pants or socks on first? Pants first, socks last.

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Which name do you think is the best name of all time? Todd? :)

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What songs are you absolutely sick of hearing? "Life Is A Highway" by Tom Cochrane / Rascal Flatts makes me want to throw my radio out the nearest window. Even from my car, on the highway, at 100 Kph.

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Does everybody love Bob Marley? Yeah, mon! (I guess I never mentioned that I played bass in a rock 'n' reggae band in Vancouver, BC.)

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What is the most adventurous thing that you have done? Hmmm... some things are better discussed off the message boards. :)

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What do you wear to bed? Nothing, usually.

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Would you ever be roommates with a nudist? A lot of my friends in Vancouver, BC are frequent visitors (and participants) at Wreck Beach, so I'm far past the point of being offended or uncomfortable with nudity.

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If you had a chance to ' Add on ' to your home at no cost to you , what would you add --? An exercise room complete with weigh training equipment, shower, hot tub, sauna, and massage table.

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Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Never from a physical place. Just from Uncyclopedia.org, and only as a joke. Admins there have a proud tradition of banning each other (or themselves) for trivial reasons, no reason, or just for the sake of fun. It's really pretty pointless, because as an admin, you can unban yourself. :)

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Tom Petty or the Police? Oooh. Not a fair question. Refuse to choose. :)

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Harry Potter 7 was leaked online. How do you think this happened? Are you going to attempt to read it? No. I'm one of those people who pre-ordered their copy from Amazon. It'll be here on Saturday. No rush.

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When you look in the mirror and see yourself, what do you really see? I see a person with many more missions to complete before his journey is over. Someone I'm still getting to know, learning to appreciate, and trying to forgive.

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Are you a geek, dork or nerd? What makes you that particular one? 40% geek, 40% nerd, 20% dork. Academia and an interest/talent for computers and electronics is enough to peg me on the first two. My social shyness when I'm not acting in some official capacity or designated role is enough to get me on the last.

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What makes you feel better when you are in a bad mood? - LMAO - Playing with my kids and pets - Massages - Chocolate - Sex

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Will the cost of upgrading to Windows Vista is forcing more organizations to switch to Macs, Linux? Given the steep hardware requirements and upgrade costs, Vista is making a lot of companies examine other options. Linux is already working as a server in many companies with Windows desktops, so it's not as big as an adjustment as you might think, from an IT perspective. It's more likely that most businesses will simply stick with XP for the immediate future, and others who are...

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Cannabis, caffeine, or alcohol? Caffeine. (By default, I guess. I don't use the other two.)

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What is the easiest way to get strangers to like you, have a positive feeling about you? Smile. Ask them about themselves; just nothing too personal.

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What was your crime? (google "<your name here> was arrested for") Looks like I'm clean. ----------------------------------------------------- Tip: Try removing quotes from your search to get more results. Your search - "Todd Lyons was arrested for" - did not match any documents. -----------------------------------------------------

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What would your porn star name be? (It's the name of your first pet + the street you grew up on.) Curly South Hudson

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Hottub or backrub? Backrub, frontrub, everywhere, yes please thankyouverymuch.

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My does my computer (desktop, Windows XP Media Center Edition) keep randomly shutting down? I have no viruses (I think, my virusscan may be corrupt) yet still the computer shuts off without notice. It sounds heat related. How often is it serviced? If you feel comfortable, unplug the unit, open the case and carefully vacuum the inside (especially the fans on the CPU, case, and power supply). Don't touch the circuit boards with your hand or the vacuum nozzle, just direct it in between areas and allow the suction to pull away the dust and fluff.

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I have a steady, loving relationship with a guy that I am attracted to & we are physically intimate. However, I still really like to make out with other girls. I haven't done anything serious with a girl. But does this make me Bi? or just curious? It's no-one's role to define you; only you know who you are. And it sounds like you're in the process of finding out. Does your boyfriend know about your "experimenting"?

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Toilet paper roll- over or under? Over. I guess I'm not totally OCD because I've successfully fought the urge to realign the rolls in friends' bathrooms for many years now. And if you need help with this too: join my support group. ;)

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Have you made any friends on Answerbag? In person? Not yet. But there are quite a number of users here I'm beginning to really enjoy. And if you're ever in Ottawa... :)

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What kind of computer do you have? My desktops are home-built. They cost less and are exactly the way I want them. Plus, I enjoy building from scratch. My laptop is a Dell B130. All of my rigs run Linux (Debian or Kubuntu), except for one desktop which has XP. The laptop dual boots both operating systems.

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If you were to make a movie about your life...what actor or actress would you pick to play you? Anthony Edwards would work for me. A bit nerdy looking when he was younger, but grew into a decent, likable guy. A sex symbol even - despite losing his hair. Of course, I never grew up to be a sex symbol, and not a doctor either, not even on television. But I did suffer the tragic loss of my hair. Hey - it's my movie, alright. I'll do the casting! Back off. :)

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How dirty is your car? How brave are you?

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Some delis create sandwiches named after people... what would yours be called and what would be in it? Todd on a Plate: Your choice of mild or spicy ham (with or without the fat to chew on), covered with ridiculous amounts of cheese, mashed between two pieces of cheap, trashy white bread, and with a rather suspicious olive on a toothpick gracing the top (ostensibly to lend an air of class to what is otherwise pedestrian fare). Optional: Dijon mustard to further obscure the true nature of...

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Why do you think members ask questions then don't give points for any of the answers? ( I know it's personal opinion but some answers seem very good.) I always give points, and I think it's a kind courtesy, but if someone gives a truly worthless answer I think it would be okay to skip them.

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Which is best entertainment, Greys Anatomy or ER? Grey's. Can't say I'll miss Isaiah Washington though, especially after his talk in the press.

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If you were on your death bed, what would be the biggest concern when you know that you are going to pass away? "Unnnnghhh... library... book... overdue..." Actually, I'd be worried about my kids, and how they'd feel growing up without a father. And I know I'd feel bad missing out on the rest of their lives.

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If one morning you woke up knowing that it was your last day to live, who would you choose to be with and what would you do? My wife.

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What's your favourite Bob Dylan song? Just Like A Woman

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Did you have video games when you were little? Nah... and I envied my friends for years, from the Atari 2600 to ColecoVision, Intellivision, Nintendo and Super Nintendo. A deprived childhood if there ever was one. ;-)

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How old do I look? I've heard it said many times: "You're only as old as you feel." So, if you'll kindly move a little closer, I'll give you a quick examination. :) [ducks, runs away]

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Why do people continuously return to the fridge, in the hope that something else has miraculously appeared to eat (or is that just me?) No, it's not just you. :) I don't think I really believe that something magical will appear, but my attempts to look for something good in the fridge becomes more earnest each time. Also, I think my standards as to what I'll eat drop with repeated visits (eg.: Looking at the same tired looking apple on three separate trips before deciding: "Yeah... alright.")

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Did you ever have to go to summerschool? Not academic school. To appease my mom's parents, I was sent to Lutheran "Church School" to soak up goodness each summer. Then, to appease my dad's parents, I had to attend Catholic Catechism classes every Saturday throughout the fall and winter.

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Why are you smiling right now? The avatars are back, and the page loading speed is back to "normal". =)

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Which is the funniest article on Uncyclopedia? "Funny" is so subject to individual taste. Best to just scout around and see what you like. Starting with the most popular writers is a good idea: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Hall_of_Shame Because it is a wiki, other users may have "unimproved" some of the authors' works through additions of their own. However, if the article appears to be...

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Is Todd Lyons (AB member # 173529) the same Todd Lyons of Uncyclopedia? How did he find Answerbag? Why is he using it? .

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Is Todd Lyons (AB member # 173529) the same Todd Lyons of Uncyclopedia? How did he find Answerbag? Why is he using it? Why not ask him personally?

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My g/f is MARRIED,she loves me as well as her hubby equally, she also treats me as her hubby.we have also had a lot of sex. as she is having sex with both of us, she is kinda lost interest in sex,and am interested in sex.how to increase her sexual desires I'm not going to downgrade your question, even though I disagree with what you're doing. Still, I think it was pointless to fill your question with so much backstory about your affair. It makes you sound like you're bragging.

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If you can't be with the one you love, should you just love the one you're with? Taking relationship advice from Stephen Stills is like taking weight loss advice from Dr. Phil.

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Im a 12 year old male is it normal for me to have pubic hairs Yes. Not everyone starts to develop at the same age, but you're well within the "normal" range. :)

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Why isn't everyone fingerprinted at birth? Scientists are working on a subdermal implant ID chip instead. :)

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Do you recycle paper goods at your home or office? Both. And I admit it, I love to crush up aluminum cans the way that some people love to pop bubble wrap. :)

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A guy just showed up for a job interview and isn't even wearing a tie. What does this indicate? At this company all male employees must wear ties, so it's kinda bad when someone walks in for an interview and isn't wearing one. (1.) Dressing up for an interview should be default behaviour for anything white collar. (2.) If the guy didn't do enough background checking into the company to know about the dress code, I wouldn't hire him either. Hell, peeking into the lobby would have told him all he needed to know. :)

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How did guitars originally get their distinctive shape? "Guitars" is pretty broad, so I'll discuss the solidbody electric. The Fender Stratocaster (the traditional styling that most people associate with a guitar) is primarily designed in a way to make it comfortable to play. The double cutaways on either side of the neck allow for access to the upper frets. The curved sides allow it to be leaned over and balance on the thigh....

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I just broke into the top 100 in rank...but did not receive any kind of cash gift or plaque. Who dropped the ball here? Welcome to volunteering, where the greatest reward is paid within. ;-)

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I recently got married a month ago & at my wedding while I was dancing my 1st dance with my husband my sister interrupted & starting yelling"IM GETTING MARRIED!"This made me so mad I stop talking to her,now my mom say that I overreacted,am I overreacting? Context is important here. Does she have a persistent tendency of trying to upstage you, or to make her needs take precedence over yours? If so, you have some reason to feel annoyed. If this isn't typical of her, it may just be an excited utterance. Isn't the whole purpose of the bride throwing the bouquet to spread the luck of a happy union to someone else? She may have just...

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Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis which is better for erectile dysfunction? There are too many individual differences between people and their reactions to drugs to say which would work for you. Same goes for any specialized pharmaceutical. Talk with your doctor and see if you can get a small sample of one (or all) of them.

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Would you be embarassed about talking to your doctor about erectile dysfunction? No. C'mon guys, It can't be worse than a woman having to suffer through being in stirrups at the OB/GYN.

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If a man is in a relationship does he still have to masturbate, and why? If sex were as simple as the physical act, there would be no need for a man to masturbate. In reality, sex is about mood, desire, opportunity, romance, foreplay, mutually agreeable timing... Masturbation is a way to cope when people are on different channels. And it beats infidelity, doesn't it? :)

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Are you happily married? I don't have much of a family, and I needed one person in the world to love me unconditionally. I found her, and married her. Now there are 3 people in the world that love me unconditionally.

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I have blisters on my penis almost every two weeks Sounds like herpes. See a doctor ASAP.

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What does it mean when you have sex with a guy, and he didn't call you the next day, and this is not a one night stand? Did you mutually agree it wasn't a one night stand?

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What browser are you using right now? I use Firefox, and the following extensions: - 1-ClickWeather - Adblock Plus - del.icio.us

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Are we "touch-starved" in this society? Do you get enough hugs, or do you need to see your massage therapist to pay for the TLC you wish your life contained? Psychologist Virginia Satir wrote: "We need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth." By that definition, I probably starve most days. It's sad, but there really is a strong stigma to touching. I think our ability to share any level of intimacy drops off sharply outside of spouse, significant other or family. After that, there...

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Stand up, and take 5 steps forward to your left. Where are you now? Ahh! Frickin' wall. You jerk! ;-)

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Is music a big part in your life? Does it play an important roll? As a youth, music (both playing it, and listening to it) was a nice escape from a life I wanted to distance myself from. Life is good now, but it's impossible not to have a permanent bond to something that was so instrumental in my emotional survival.

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Does anyone play a type of musical instrument and why did you choose that to play Bass, because it's funky and (not to put too fine a point on it) guitarists are a dime a dozen. :) If I'm not playing in a band, it's by choice, not circumstance.

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What is the biggest lie known to man? "Of course you don't look fat."

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Are you comfortable being the center of attention or do you prefer to let others be in the spotlight? Socially, I'm more of the wallflower type, but then I have no troubles with playing a music gig or making a speech or presentation. I guess the defining difference is this: it's easier to for me play a role or have a job than to just be myself sometimes.

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If it were possible for us to read one another's minds by wearing a small device around the neck, would you wear it? The device would, of course, have an "on/off" button. Would it help or hinder communication? Oh, I'd definitely wear it. I'm a bit of a voyeur at heart, I guess. But could I handle that degree of truth from other people? I dunno. But I'd be willing to try. :)

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What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Their eyes. Then the smile. Then... my eyes tend to wander a bit. 'Nuff said.

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I found a mushed cherry on my desk at work. Could it be a death threat? It's not exactly the severed head of a horse, but I'd watch out. Check your chair for thumbtacks.

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What is the best Linux distribution for a long time Windows guy but a linux beginner I'd suggest the following: PCLinuxOS - http://www.pclinuxos.com/ OpenSUSE - http://en.opensuse.org/ Ubuntu - http://www.ubuntu.com/ Kubuntu - http://www.kubuntu.org/ They're all free of charge, so there's no harm in trying them all.

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Is anone using linux right now? I've used Linux full time for the last several years, and have been dabbling with it since Red Hat 5.0 (1998?). When I went back to school to do my Master's degree I decided to do it "paperless" and using only Free and Open Source Software. I'm pleased to say it was a great success. My favourite distro is Debian; but I use Kubuntu (Debian-based) on my laptop....

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Do you use food as an emotional crutch to help yourself stop thinking about painful issues, or just because you get genuinely hungry? While I've never been a drug user and quit alcohol a long time ago, I still find that I use food to cope with stress, loss, or the blues. Good question.

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When watching a movie [let's say "40 year old virgin"] do you ever become so embarrased that you have to hide your face/plug your ears? I think that's happened to me with every American Pie movie they've made.

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What has surprised you most about yourself? Everything... because my expectations and opinions of myself as a child were very low. I was extremely shy and thought I was stupid and ugly, but I married a beautiful woman, had wonderful children, earned several university degrees, and have done things I would never have dreamed possible: living and working in another country, being a professional musician, being a radio announcer, pouring...

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Do you wash your hands after using a public bathroom because you think the other people present will judge you, or do you wash them because you think you really should? I do it because I should, but I'm shocked and disgusted at how many guys don't bother. Makes me think twice before shaking hands... :P

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Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Yes, but not for many years now. I dunno who I would want to go with me anymore, now that we're (supposedly) mature, (allegedly) respectable adults. :)

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What do i do to get in a girls pants? Given your phrasing of the question, I don't see much hope for that.

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Have you made a difference in a child's life? I've been a counselor for mentally ill children and adolescents for most of the last 10 years. It wasn't the money that brought me in to work every day. If you've done what I've done, you already know the pay. :)

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What's the difference between loneliness and solitude? Solitude can involve loneliness, but it can also be pleasant and voluntary. Loneliness is neither. As an example, the poet Percy Shelley wrote about "tranquil" solitude.

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I'm a 31 y/o white man becoming involved with a native american Navajo woman who is 36 y/o, What can I expect from this type of woman, and are there statistics on successes and failures of these types of relationships? Much can be learned about native/aboriginal values from Googling, but why? You've got first hand access to an expert. If you love and value her and are truly interested in learning about what her heritage means to her, how it shapes her perception and identity -- ask. It can only bring you closer.

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What is the best soap opera? Star Trek: The Next Generation

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After the $660 million settlement against the Los Angeles Archdiocese and only after the church realized they couldn't avoid testifying in court under oath...Are you amazed that there are any devout Catholics left? Faith is a component of organized religion, but can exist just fine without it. When has faith ever needed to remain housed within four walls, or under the banner of an organization? No true believer of any religion confuses the validity of their beliefs with the misdeeds of those who claimed to believe also.

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What's the easiest way to remove wallpaper? You can try those brush-on pastes to soften it up, but I've had better luck with a heat gun and a scraper.

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Is death a highly creative force? Destructive, perhaps. Intercourse is the highly creative force, whether procreative, acrobatic, or both.

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Do you have a tan? Nope. I'm pasty white and (knock on wood) skin cancer free. Fortunately, my wife is comfortable with the reality that I'll never be a bronze-skinned Adonis.

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What's your marital status? Yes, for nearly five years. (The first marriage for both of us, and hopefully the last.)

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How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life? In my case it was inspiration from someone already in the field. I struggled with depression as a child, and after many years it became serious enough that I was referred for counseling. I can't say that this person solved all my problems -- they weren't solvable -- but the support, learning, and knowledge that someone cared kept me going. As an adult, I still felt a sense of...

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Would you ever burn a book? No. There are things to be learned from all books, good or bad. Knowledge is increasing our understanding of both truth and ignorance, and sometimes we can't even agree which is which. Look at the some of the titles that have been banned: http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/banned-books.html That being said, if it was cold outside and I needed to make a fire, and all that I had...

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Why are some people more prone to having belly button lint than others? If they have a lot of hair around their navel and wear shirts with fuzzy inner lining (like sweatshirts), they will accumulate more. The hair acts like a brush, and the material is easily scraped. Less hair or a more resilient fabric will promote less accumulation.

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Playing the Devil's Advocate.... I hear alot about people's rights, but little about people's responsibilities. I think rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. Should people that have been irresponsible throughout their lives have any rights? Who would have the privilege of judging whether individuals are responsible or not? Whatever their past lives have been, people should always have the right to change (hopefully for the better), and it would be irresponsible of us to undermine that potential by removing their power.

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When you listen to music, what's more important...the beat or the lyrics? For me, it depends on the artist. If there is meaning in the lyrics that I relate to, it captures my attention. Otherwise, the voice is just another instrument.

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"You made your bed now lie in it," but what if the maid made it? Even if the maid *did* make it, you'll still get what's coming to you -- when you get a gooey melted chocolate mint glued to the back of your head. Not much of a consequence, I know, but it will cost you valuable minutes wasted away in the shower, scrubbing and rinsing out the sticky mess. (Lather, rise, repeat... lather, rinse, repeat...) That'll teach you. :)

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If the religion ISLAM hasn't been founded, would there be no terrorism around? I could direct you to do a bit of research into how much blood has been spilled in the name of Christianity (crusades, anyone?), or even just relate your understanding of the history of Northern Ireland, but I fear it would be wasted effort.

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I have been downloading p.c games of the internet and for some reason my computer does not recognise these games. I have compressed rar files and windows still does not recognise. Can anyone tell me what program I can download to play these games. Cheers I would suggest 7-Zip. It's free of charge (GNU LGPL licensed) and opens anything. http://www.7-zip.org/

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I've just downloaded firefox and i've got a google search box on my screen with Firefox Start above it. What do I do now? Type in a search term and get surfing. If you'd rather have a different page, or a blank start page, click: Tools > Options > Main Tab And change it under "Startup"

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Do you believe that every person has their price? Indeed. My last employer got me at the bargain price of $20.22 per hour (because I was a grad student). I've since adjusted for credentials and inflation.

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What do you do for fun when it rains? I'm sure this question will generate many practical solutions. This isn't one of them. Put on your bathing suit - walk outside - enjoy it. There are a lot of physical and emotional experiences in life that we avoid because we think we're supposed to (often, but not always, for good reason). We could all use a few more crazy, impulsive experiential indulgences (within...

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John Mark Karr has a girlfriend?! What's wrong with her? Why do some women go for men in jail! (JMK is not in jail though) There isn't a single answer, but I can suggest possibilities: (1.) A need to assist and redeem another person ("I can save him."), (2.) An attraction to danger/risk taking behaviours, or (3.) Vicarious enjoyment of violence/crime through another person. Sometimes it's a desire to help, and sometimes it's one mentally ill individual seeking another. In the...

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If you don't know something, would you say you don't know? If you want to retain your integrity, you do. It's funny, but the more educated people become, the more difficulty they have admitting that there are limits to their knowledge. But we all do, even within our fields of specialization. The secret is to say: "I don't know, but I can find out for you." Then, do it.

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I have noticed that a higher rank has been telling lower ranks they need to pay attention to the higher ranks in the answers and comments they are giving - I say that is wrong and we are all here as a team - Do you agree? The quality of the answers themselves is what's important. We all started off a low rank. (And frankly, with some of the cheap pop-psychology answers I've read by some high ranking users, not all of them are as impressive as the rank they have).

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When you were growing up did you have any teachers who had a reputation for getting physical when correcting students? In grade five we had this alcoholic teacher who was notorious for smacking kids with his metre stick. He also had this one kid penned into a corner up behind a pair of dividers (called "the dungeon") and he would throw objects at the kid (usually tape rolls) when the kid annoyed him. Sometimes he hit him directly, and other times with a lucky ricochet.

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What do have in the trunk of your car? (Be honest !) Two strollers, a diaper bag, a hydraulic jack, and miscelleaneous junk that I should really put in the garbage can (but somehow it never crosses my mind when the vechicle is parked).

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Do you get emotionally attached to your cars, or are they just transport? When I was single, my car was my "baby". Then, you get married and it gets used to haul two-by-fours and cement to do home improvement projects, scratched by the kids, dinged by idiots in the superstore parking lot, and there isn't the money to fix it anymore. So, you learn to let go.

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Do naked female skydivers whistle on the way down? Yes. The trick is to learn to do it in harmony.

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What is the best way to help a friend that is being abused by her boyfriend? Help her to find help, but acknowledge the fact that she will probably go back to him several times before she leaves for good. Be ready to help each time until it's finally over.

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What's wrong with kids these days? We have youngsters asking about sex and relationships on here that should be asking how to get gum out of Barbies hair... Am I the only one that feels this way? Sometimes it's easy to forget that "childhood" is a relatively recent phenomenon, and that "kids" used to apprentice to trades or begin the family business not too long ago. Young marriage was also the norm, before we started spending years in post secondary education and working on our careers. The world is changing, and always has. Children have always adapted, and...

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What TV series had you hooked the most? The Star Treks (TNG, VOY, ENT). Whether we acknowledge it or not, it's a soap opera for men, set in space. The relationships are what hook viewers. The technology is just icing.

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If you play a musical instrument is there someone who plays it also that you look at in amazement? It seems impossible that they play so well. Sure, but we're all differently gifted. I envy the talents of others but am also envied for talents that I have. That helps to keep me in perspective. My inherent talents come easily to me, and they impress others but not me. Music is something I've worked hard for, and I think I appreciate the results of those labours much more than the virtuousity that I didn't have to work...

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How far does the apple fall from the tree? It depends how much the apple loved its parents. I've known some apples to export themselves to foreign countries just to be able to relax and unpeel.

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Is what your doing for a living what you planned to be doing? Throughout childhood I planned to be an architect, and was even accepted into architecture upon graduation from grade 12. However, my parents were surprised by my acceptance and there wasn't money (or a loan) to send me. I worked for a mine for a year to send myself, but when I reapplied I was rejected. I became a social worker instead. Having a plan in life is essential, but your...

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What's your favorite potato chip brand? (Ex: Lays, Humpty Dumpty, etc) Old Dutch.

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Is a PhD worth all the struggle you go through? A study by the US Census Bureau ("The Big Payoff: Educational Attainment and Synthetic Estimates of Work-Life Earnings", July 2002) actually showed that you can make about $20,000/yr ($US) less than a professional degree (which for many professions is a Master's). The potential to become overqualified for many jobs and become specialized into research and teaching may not be...

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I grew up in Massachusetts and didn't like it there very much. So I moved away when I got out of school and never moved back. Anybody have the same experience with the place they grew up? I used to have a mental block over the town I was born in (Flin Flon, Manitoba, Canada), but I think it mostly stemmed from warnings I received from others: Get out and make something of your life or you'll end up working for the mine. Fear really drove me to pursue education, so I'd never have to face that possibility. Today, I think I could live there again because it would be by...

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What song reminds you most of the disco era? "Stayin' Alive" - The Bee Gees

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So I'm getting my master's right now. I'm heavily considering getting my PhD. and teaching... any advice on being a good instructor? Understand that your students are not lesser beings, just people on a different point on the developmental continuum (for now). Human progress is founded upon each generation learning from the previous one, and building on the knowledge base. If you don't teach students with the goal of assisting them to exceed you, you're failing in your purpose. The world has enough ivory tower...