Answerbag: The King of Awesome's answers

Answer to Does Islam really promote violence? Or is this just a misconception?

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:23:10 -0800

Does Islam really promote violence? Or is this just a misconception?

Everyone who voted yes is a douche bag.

Answer to Did your parents always say 5 minutes when you asked Are we there yet?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:21:12 -0700

Did your parents always say 5 minutes when you asked Are we there yet?

my dad answered all my questions the same way: the back of his ring hand.

Answer to A friend says she is now refinancing her house at 2% on a 30-year fixed loan because she is hispanic - how can a caucasian person get in on this?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:07:58 -0700

A friend says she is now refinancing her house at 2% on a 30-year fixed loan because she is hispanic - how can a caucasian person get in on this?

truth is you probably can't, but the same could be said to hispanics about the thousands of advantages that automatically come with being white...

Answer to Are you usually honest?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:06:40 -0700

Are you usually honest?

the only possible answer to this question is yes, which could be a lie. the answer no would be a paradox.

Answer to If you woke up one morning & there was an Elephant in your room looking at you what would you do?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:05:15 -0700

If you woke up one morning & there was an Elephant in your room looking at you what would you do?

kill it for the ivory. leave the rest of the body for the vultures

Answer to What do you do if your wifes friend keeps coming on to you? Avoid her or tell your wife? Either way there are going to be hurt feelings.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:04:36 -0700

What do you do if your wifes friend keeps coming on to you? Avoid her or tell your wife? Either way there are going to be hurt feelings.

how is 'go for it' or 'talk them both into a three-way' not an option?

Answer to Does A vegetarian diet consist of milk,cheese and eggs,or are these considered meat?*

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:03:26 -0700

Does A vegetarian diet consist of milk,cheese and eggs,or are these considered meat?*

i like to slip small amounts of meat into vegetarians' food

Answer to I want to date a midget, other than the circus where can i meet one?

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:03:09 -0700

I want to date a midget, other than the circus where can i meet one?

I have heard that they hang out at the ends of rainbows

Answer to Who would you pie in the face? Why? What type of pie would you use? Do you think the type of pie matters?

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:01:38 -0700

Who would you pie in the face? Why? What type of pie would you use? Do you think the type of pie matters?

i will give you a top three: 1. Helen Keller 2. Hitler 3. The Queen of England Type of pie...I will go with French Silk, except for if its the Queen, then some sort of disgusting meat pie

Answer to Who is your favorite wrestler? Past or Present

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:22:13 -0700

Who is your favorite wrestler? Past or Present

who are past and present? i never heard of them

Answer to What is your favorite Monopoly square?

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:20:37 -0700

What is your favorite Monopoly square?

Community Chest, yo.

Answer to Obama just separated himself from God on thursday when he bowed to an earthly king...."we must submit". is the message..so, there ya go!..i repudiate this man....only God can save him from his own "ring of fire"....i'm done...U?

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:19:53 -0700

Obama just separated himself from God on thursday when he bowed to an earthly king...."we must submit". is the message..so, there ya go!..i repudiate this man....only God can save him from his own "ring of fire"....i'm done...U?

well, from what i know of the bible, there is the quote about giving unto caesar what is caesars, also the one about he who is without guild casting the first stone. but, I don't really put any stock in any of that. so i will close by saying you are dangerously retarded and i hope you...

Answer to What brand of sunglasses do wear?

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:17:53 -0700

What brand of sunglasses do wear?

ive got some ray-bans and some oliver peoples and some oakleys and a whole bunch of cheap-o gas station ones

Answer to What is the worst thing about taking out the trash?

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:16:48 -0700

What is the worst thing about taking out the trash?

making sure its all dead first

Answer to Why can't i walk through a wall?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:35:49 -0700

Why can't i walk through a wall?

because youre not doing it right. build up a lot of speed and lead with your head.

Answer to How much cash do you have on you right this minute?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:33:52 -0700

How much cash do you have on you right this minute?

many pieces of gold and silver

Answer to Can you please use the word "jovial" in a sentence?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:32:55 -0700

Can you please use the word "jovial" in a sentence?

so i asked this ese, chu gonna eat jovial meng? cuz that shitz expensive, meng!

Answer to What is something you would find inside the passenger seating area of an airplane?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:31:00 -0700

What is something you would find inside the passenger seating area of an airplane?

my DNA. the king is a mile high club frequent flyer, hey!

Answer to Would you climb under the covers with a friend...just to cuddle?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:27:55 -0700

Would you climb under the covers with a friend...just to cuddle?

that is stupid and pointless

Answer to Why do people answer questions that are made up just for fun and not answer the ones that really need an answer?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:14:52 -0700

Why do people answer questions that are made up just for fun and not answer the ones that really need an answer?

stop whining

Answer to Who has attended or is attending UC San Diego? How is it there, from its academics to its social life?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:05:56 -0700

Who has attended or is attending UC San Diego? How is it there, from its academics to its social life?

both my cousin and a friend of mine went there and both loved it for academics and social life. i can say from experience that san diego is a lot of fun.

Answer to Why do you hate morning?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:04:53 -0700

Why do you hate morning?

because night time is the right time

Answer to Does anyone understand this whole G20 thing?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:04:24 -0700

Does anyone understand this whole G20 thing?

yes. i am sure somebody does

Answer to Anyone know how to build a web page in godaddy?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:03:58 -0700

Anyone know how to build a web page in godaddy?

judging by their commercials i think it has something to do with huge boobs

Answer to Will the new $1.00 federal cigarette tax make you quit smoking?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:03:25 -0700

Will the new $1.00 federal cigarette tax make you quit smoking?

HELL NO. in fact, i am such a patriot, its gonna make me take up the habit just to give uncle same a few more bucks a day. YEE HAW

Answer to Do you reap what you sew?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:01:40 -0700

Do you reap what you sew?

hahaha...only if i wish it. the king of awesome is beyond reproach.

Answer to Do you still use the phonebook?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:40:49 -0800

Do you still use the phonebook?

yellowpages.com only

Answer to If u are in the middle of deciding between 2 guys and which one u rlly love...how do u no who the right one is

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:40:17 -0800

If u are in the middle of deciding between 2 guys and which one u rlly love...how do u no who the right one is

the one with the most money

Answer to Wouldn't it be nice if adults could keep the heart of a child? Sincere, forgiving, honest, and loving.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:39:37 -0800

Wouldn't it be nice if adults could keep the heart of a child? Sincere, forgiving, honest, and loving.

i have the hearts of many children. in my basement.

Answer to Girls who have hairy arms are extra beautiful right? I think so

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:39:00 -0800

Girls who have hairy arms are extra beautiful right? I think so

hahaha...hahahahahahahaha. no. hahahahahahaha

Answer to Would you want to have a baby with me

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:38:28 -0800

Would you want to have a baby with me

HELL NO!

Answer to How did Jesus' love transform your life?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:38:08 -0800

How did Jesus' love transform your life?

it transformed my life the same way megatron transforms into a gun for starscream to hold

Answer to We are not free..democracy or not..who can tell me why?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:37:11 -0800

We are not free..democracy or not..who can tell me why?

so basically you are making some big philosophical statement and we should all be really impressed and report back to you with validation for your brilliant edict? is that right? sorry, not a fan of pontification.

Answer to Is there anything exotic about the U.S.?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:34:29 -0800

Is there anything exotic about the U.S.?

well, theres an exotic bakery down the street from my place. its somethin'.

Answer to OK no poking fun here. I loved the original Zelda and am wondering if there even exists a game that is similar to it now days?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:47:40 -0800

OK no poking fun here. I loved the original Zelda and am wondering if there even exists a game that is similar to it now days?

most zelda games are similar in one way or another, ya damned nerd

Answer to So in saying that President-elect Barack Hussein Obama attended a Muslim school but hasn't practiced Islam, is that likening him to smoking Islam but not inhaling?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:46:56 -0800

So in saying that President-elect Barack Hussein Obama attended a Muslim school but hasn't practiced Islam, is that likening him to smoking Islam but not inhaling?

no, but i am likening you to a paranoid dumbass

Answer to I think i have had enough how about you?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:45:15 -0800

I think i have had enough how about you?

agreed

Answer to What would you do if your grandmother decided to make a semi-racy calendar with her girlfriends?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:44:43 -0800

What would you do if your grandmother decided to make a semi-racy calendar with her girlfriends?

produce it

Answer to Who would like to join me in congratulating Doggie S on becoming the number 1 male on Answerbag for all time?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:44:07 -0800

Who would like to join me in congratulating Doggie S on becoming the number 1 male on Answerbag for all time?

no thanks

Answer to Do you have a beard or facial hair?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:43:35 -0800

Do you have a beard or facial hair?

do you mean am i growing facial hair currently? or do you mean do i have jars of other peoples' facial hair in a display case in my living room? yes and yes.

Answer to What laws do you impose in your own little World?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:42:49 -0800

What laws do you impose in your own little World?

only awesome ones

Answer to Where do AB trolls come from?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:42:29 -0800

Where do AB trolls come from?

from under your fat ass. youve been trolled!

Answer to What Emblems or Pattern do you have on your Pjs or Nighty.?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:42:02 -0800

What Emblems or Pattern do you have on your Pjs or Nighty.?

my pjs are fleshtone. thats right; the king sleeps in the buff.

Answer to What ever happened to the dolphins the US military trained to search for explosives in the water in the middle east?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:40:38 -0800

What ever happened to the dolphins the US military trained to search for explosives in the water in the middle east?

they blew up. damned poor training...

Answer to Does your favorite actor or actress have an official website?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:39:46 -0800

Does your favorite actor or actress have an official website?

i dont know. my preferences for actors and actresses ends at watching their films. i have better stuff to do.

Answer to Do you use dryer balls when machine drying your clothes? If so, do they work?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:39:08 -0800

Do you use dryer balls when machine drying your clothes? If so, do they work?

i always strive to use dryer balls. thats why i use gold bond.

Answer to What yoyo is this?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:37:14 -0800

What yoyo is this?

its yo yo ma

Answer to What makes it so that pink is not acceptable for a baby boy to wear, but blue ok for a baby girl to wear?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:35:32 -0800

What makes it so that pink is not acceptable for a baby boy to wear, but blue ok for a baby girl to wear?

well i dont know that its not ok for anybody to wear anything. however, blue can be gender neutral, whereas pink is universally feminine. so there you go.

Answer to What (if anything) do you collect?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:34:38 -0800

What (if anything) do you collect?

scalps. i have 17.

Answer to How beautiful is it to be loved?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:34:19 -0800

How beautiful is it to be loved?

it wasnt so good for eva braun(sp?)

Answer to What was Michelle Obama thinking when she put on this dress?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:22:37 -0800

What was Michelle Obama thinking when she put on this dress?

what were people like you thinking when you thought this was worth discussing?

Answer to What does the " T " in T-Mobile stand for?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:59:43 -0800

What does the " T " in T-Mobile stand for?

tits

Answer to I say marble, you say ____?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:59:10 -0800

I say marble, you say ____?

madness. think about it. there is no better answer

Answer to Why it is always the new generations that have to pay for the greed of the past one?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:58:09 -0800

Why it is always the new generations that have to pay for the greed of the past one?

it is what it is.

Answer to I get around. Do you get around?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:57:31 -0800

I get around. Do you get around?

haha most definitely

Answer to How does death affect you?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:56:22 -0800

How does death affect you?

depends. whose death are we talkin about here. i mean, death generally doesnt appeal to me, but there are some folks that if i heard had died, i might just be okay with it.

Answer to What's a sure sign that your marriage is over?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:55:16 -0800

What's a sure sign that your marriage is over?

when i shovel the last bit of dirt on my ex

Answer to If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:51:32 -0800

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

hopefully it makes the sound of a tree smashing a pseudo-intellectual

Answer to How do you deal with people who are always pessemistic about everything?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:50:42 -0800

How do you deal with people who are always pessemistic about everything?

i kick'm in the BALLS!

Answer to Of course, who doesn't like __________, after all?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:49:24 -0800

Of course, who doesn't like __________, after all?

boobies

Answer to What do you have that I might need?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:48:38 -0800

What do you have that I might need?

a soul

Answer to Guys - are you aware that men also get breast cancer?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:48:16 -0800

Guys - are you aware that men also get breast cancer?

yeah, thats why i stay in shape so i dont have breasts

Answer to Ladies whats worse: An a**hole, a pathetic man, a cheater or a golfer?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:47:46 -0800

Ladies whats worse: An a**hole, a pathetic man, a cheater or a golfer?

thats a trick questions...golfers are all pathetic assholes and most of them cheat

Answer to Would you look down on someone because they have artificial house plants?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:42:15 -0800

Would you look down on someone because they have artificial house plants?

well sure, what else should i look down on them for

Answer to What is the first thing you associate with a rain forest?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:41:34 -0800

What is the first thing you associate with a rain forest?

future furniture or the movie Furngully

Answer to How do you define your self worth?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:40:52 -0800

How do you define your self worth?

add the worth of everybody else, then times it by five. at that point, youre sniffin at my worth.

Answer to Do you have the qualities of a rock star?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:39:53 -0800

Do you have the qualities of a rock star?

i cant sing or play and instrument, but i do have TONS of unprotected sex, so yeah

Answer to When your upset you usually ___________?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:38:53 -0800

When your upset you usually ___________?

correct somebody's misuse of the word your when the person should have said you're

Answer to Would you date someone with the same name as you?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:38:03 -0800

Would you date someone with the same name as you?

im not gay, so no.

Answer to A person attacks you. What do you do?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:56:30 -0800

A person attacks you. What do you do?

whoop. that. ass.

Answer to What is the best way to dispose a condom?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:55:15 -0800

What is the best way to dispose a condom?

are they not reusable anymore?

Answer to Which country would you nuke? Why?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:53:57 -0800

Which country would you nuke? Why?

greece. they know why...

Answer to Do guys only look at girls' bodies?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:47:30 -0800

Do guys only look at girls' bodies?

no. we also look at boobies.

Answer to How will you feel if Obama wins the popular vote, but loses the electoral?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:46:26 -0800

How will you feel if Obama wins the popular vote, but loses the electoral?

i will feel like getting a militia together and making something happen

Answer to I think im fat and i weight 116 pounds

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:45:50 -0800

I think im fat and i weight 116 pounds

i think youre dumb and dont ask questions

Answer to How come george bush is hiding?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:44:52 -0800

How come george bush is hiding?

he heard if they dont find him by inauguration day, he gets four more years

Answer to I have dreadful dial-up. UGH. Does anyone else have it?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:41:53 -0800

I have dreadful dial-up. UGH. Does anyone else have it?

no. i live in 2008.

Answer to Do guys have any emotions after a breakup?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:40:59 -0800

Do guys have any emotions after a breakup?

never. men are made of stone. if your ex "man" shows emotion, he was really a hairy woman.

Answer to The World is big enough for all of us..so why are you on my cloud? There's enough clouds for us all...right?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:40:21 -0800

The World is big enough for all of us..so why are you on my cloud? There's enough clouds for us all...right?

absolutely not. all clouds are under the dominion of awesome. you are leasing your clouds from me. never forget that.

Answer to Why is Palin so weird?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:39:04 -0800

Why is Palin so weird?

because the witch doctors are getting at her despite her many attempts to ward them off

Answer to Can you describe yourself in 3 words?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:38:16 -0800

Can you describe yourself in 3 words?

go fuck yourself

Answer to Which category do you fall into? a non smoker, an ex smoker, or a smoker?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:37:43 -0800

Which category do you fall into? a non smoker, an ex smoker, or a smoker?

STOP TRYING TO LABEL ME!!!!!!!!

Answer to Do things in our life happen for a reason or does everything happen by chance?

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:36:24 -0800

Do things in our life happen for a reason or does everything happen by chance?

yes

Answer to Are some animals (other than humans) gay, bisexual, asexual, or transgendered?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:17:04 -0800

Are some animals (other than humans) gay, bisexual, asexual, or transgendered?

duckies is queer as a three dollar bill

Answer to What was the last thing that made you cringe?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:16:29 -0800

What was the last thing that made you cringe?

every time an AB user thinks they put me in my place i cringe. twice tonight so far.

Answer to Is mankind destroying the planet beyond repair?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:15:44 -0800

Is mankind destroying the planet beyond repair?

it is a testament to the hubris of humanity that we believe we are damaging the earth beyond repair. the earth will survive us just like it survived everything else. just because we make it less livable for ourselves doesnt mean the world is somehow not going to sustain anything anymore. when...

Answer to Hey everyone!!!! I have an anouncement Debtahals has reached Sage! And on her mom's birthday! Party time! Please congratulate her!

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:13:56 -0800

Hey everyone!!!! I have an anouncement Debtahals has reached Sage! And on her mom's birthday! Party time! Please congratulate her!

people party over that? if thats true, then i bet youre more excited about the points youll get bringing it up than you actually are for debtahals achievement

Answer to What's the worst thing to say to your boss when she/he is in a bad mood?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:01:47 -0800

What's the worst thing to say to your boss when she/he is in a bad mood?

"if you see her, tell your daughter she was GREAT last night. she'll know what i mean."

Answer to Is the grassy knoll greener on the other side?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:54:02 -0800

Is the grassy knoll greener on the other side?

funny question. and yes.

Answer to Does your family sit down and eat at the table as a family? In front of the TV? Everyone on their own?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:50:34 -0800

Does your family sit down and eat at the table as a family? In front of the TV? Everyone on their own?

i eat dinner with this kid that lives across the street, a dead lizard, and a stuffed bear. if that counts as a family, then yes, yes i do. i dont own a tv.

Answer to Are you: a) salt or pepper b) mustard or mayo c) sweet or sour d) cornflakes or capt'n crunch e) baked or fried? Why?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:49:40 -0800

Are you: a) salt or pepper b) mustard or mayo c) sweet or sour d) cornflakes or capt'n crunch e) baked or fried? Why?

im a goddam person. what kind of hogwash is this?

Answer to I love my job because_________________________

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:48:55 -0800

I love my job because_________________________

I'm a pimp and, contrary to popular believe, it IS easy.

Answer to Would you give me your address if i said that everyone that answers this question will be sent a dollar in the mail?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:48:18 -0800

Would you give me your address if i said that everyone that answers this question will be sent a dollar in the mail?

oh yeah, a dollar is soooo worth putting my address on the internet

Answer to What do you think comes after death?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:47:37 -0800

What do you think comes after death?

whose death are we talking about?

Answer to What can boost a woman's confidence in herself and her looks?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:47:05 -0800

What can boost a woman's confidence in herself and her looks?

plastic surgery

Answer to How would you react if your mother or father told you (out of the blue) that "I love you and I'm proud of you, always remember that"?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:46:24 -0800

How would you react if your mother or father told you (out of the blue) that "I love you and I'm proud of you, always remember that"?

i guess i would say, when did you stop hating me?

Answer to What is the biggest thing you have ever been part of? word

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:45:50 -0800

What is the biggest thing you have ever been part of? word

my ass

Answer to We all often eat dinner at the dining room __________? The answer isn't table.

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:45:32 -0800

We all often eat dinner at the dining room __________? The answer isn't table.

my ass

Answer to Would you disown your child if they were transgender?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:42:40 -0800

Would you disown your child if they were transgender?

i dont give no shit what my child is so long as it can throw that pigskin a country mile. ITS GAME TIME!

Answer to Why is child pornography illegal? Please read the my own answer... I needed detail space

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:41:16 -0800

Why is child pornography illegal? Please read the my own answer... I needed detail space

youre a sick fuck