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Do you prefer a beer or a joint on a Friday night? Joint! Any day of the week! Weed doesn't make me feel the LEAST bit impaired like booze does, just VERY pleasant, happy and mellow.

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When do you plan on upgrading your cellphone ? Maybe when the iPhone5 comes out IF it gets good reviews and there aren't any design flaws like the iPhone4 with it's 'Antenna-gate' issues. I can PROMISE you I won't get it through AT&T, I hate THAT company passionately. I had(have actually) the iPhone3GS and was really quite blown away by it's capabilities, EXCEPT for it's ability to be a reliable PHONE on that P.O.S. network. We'll see....

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What is the weirdest looking animal you can think of? This pathetic creature, that can remarkably not on survive but prosper with a mental capacity, that in most cases, would render a subject highly unlikely to avoid drowning in a rainstorm like a domesticated turkey or flat out forgetting to breath. Surprising as the ability of this species is a similar one known as the Barney Frank or "Bawny Fwank" and how these 'birds of a feather' tend to...

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Is the President of the United States the most powerful person in the world? he can't even push through reforms pass the Senates! And you can't ask a reasonably intelligent question of this nature, if you have no concept of the way the Founding Fathers intentionally created the governmental system of this country, to not permit one single solitary person or 'monarch' to have such broad powers. Nor can you even form a proper English sentence in your statement;"he can't even push through reforms pass the Senates!" The...

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Account Closed is an Illuminati? They're just giving the bloody title away the, eh? Share your answer...

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I think we all know what "WTF" stands for. Can you think of another meaning for those letters? Wasn't this fun? I mean back in the day when this site was still interesting to log into, savvy?

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Who thinks that Phillis should be AB's number one person? I like Phillis pretty well too, and agree to a point. However there are some super delicate egos on here that would take offense to this type of thing no matter how well meaning you were in posting it. From what I know of Phillis, she herself would of course be flattered by this but the same token wouldn't want to be singled out in this manner even if it didn't get blown out of...

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Whats the worst movie you've ever seen? That'd have to be a toss up between Final Destination and Transylvania-65000. Final Destination was to me such an utterly pathetic premise I couldn't believe anyone would want their name or image associated with such a wet turd. I was extremely shocked that the movie industry would waste a dime on it's sequel, and yet somehow there was a third movie made? WTF? ...

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What is fragile? Obama's narcissistic ego.

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Name something that might get damaged or destroyed by a moving company..... a nearly priceless limited edition Thomas Jefferson Grandfather clock. I myself was partly to blame for just such a calamity. The moving company I worked at had one of these ridiculously expensive clocks poorly wrapped in a few moving blankets out in the middle of the dark and narrow storage area. I needed to get a forklift passed it, had no clue whatsoever that that was what this 8-10 foot...

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If you don't mind me asking, how did you get that scar on your leg? I'd have to ask you which one, first off. One of the ones I recall was from slipping off of the trapeze bar my grade school had instead of swings. They were just high enough to have those who swung from them wear a trench in the dirt from dragging feet. If it had rained recently that gave an elongated puddle to swing over like the ol' Pitfall Pete game if ya savvy? Anyhow one...

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Give me a Name beginning with the Letter S - that you like please...? Sugar-licious!

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Give me a Name beginning with the Letter S - that you like please...? Sugar-licious!

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BYOB = Bring Your Own __________? =) Bottle o' RUM! And if yer inclined to feelin' generous ya mite bring a wee bit fer me too?

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Why is it here in the USA an 18 year old is old enough to vote, die for their country, and go to prison but not old enough to drink a beer? A fine question, I agree! Been wondering that for a great many years, like about since the age was first raised to 19. And as ol' Maxwell Smart used to say "Missed it by THAT much!" I WAS however grandfathered in when I reached 19 and they then raised it to 21.

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If im going crazy then what are you doing? Going nucking futs!

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What's one of those crazy lines Robin might say to Batman? Holy NAMBLA Batman! I can tell you're excited to catch Michael Jackson red-handed once we scale this Neverland Ranch wall, but could ya back the F**K off me on the rope a little bit?

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129,391,711votes were cast. How many cartoon characters voted? Well obviously Goofy and Dopey are members of ACORN from the results of the election. I'm sure the list must be very long, especially since belonging to ACORN apparently gives members some sort of special privilege to vote as many times as they like, much like the DNC's "Superdelegates" only blatantly more corrupt.

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Can you watch this video and not laugh? Ok I admit I'm a greedy bastard, but when challenged as such I tend to prove myself as a matter of principle and as is my nature. I'm not saying I wasn't amused, well played and all. But I found myself pitying this woman who seems to have kept up her end of what she knew to be the bargain only to be humiliated in a public spectacle like this even more shameful than having to...

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If I say "I did not vote for the president, I do not generally approve of his policies, and I know I will not vote for him in 2012 either", is that hate speech? No, but I'm pretty sure I missed something here. Care to enlighten me with more details as to why you'd even need bother ask such a question? I mean aside from this growing theme of not only throwing common sense out the window, but gettin it in the express lane on death row, savvy?

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If you could change one thing about your Country what would it be? The corrupt politicians and crooked corporations that control it with their self-serving greed, all while feigning hypocritical concern for the average American.

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Who/what is the biggest enemy of the United States? One of the biggest is the majority of it's own overly liberal mass media, it's hypocrisy and their owner's self-serving hidden(and sometimes not so hidden)agendas.

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What are you going to be for halloween if anything? Drunk, perhaps?

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Was there ever a game that virtually took over your life you were so addicted? What was it? I got pretty darn hooked on Diablo II for a good long while. I hope the rumors of Blizzard releasing Diablo III hold true and they get on with it! Another that consumes a good bit of my life was the original Need For Speed on the now extinct 3DO game system. The 3DO was ahead of it's time, their version of the classic Road Rash was fantastic compared to when Playstation tried to...

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If you were a superhero, what would be you theme song, and what would you call yourself? Am I NOT? Captain Jack Sparrow at yer service!

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Can you tell me 3 chemical elements in the periotic table? Au-Gold Ag-Silver Pb-Lead (Which I'll put put in yer ass if you try to take any of my Au or Ag, savvy?) ;-{D~

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Politicians love to throw around the 'changes' word, but what do YOU hope to see 'change'? The current administration for one. The hypocritical embodiment of the current Senate majority for another. But actually what might help the most is the twisted politically motivated bias and attempted brainwashing of MOST of America's major news media outlets the likes of The New York Times, CNN, NBC and so on.

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Shouldn't African Americans be insulted by Affirmative Action, since it is the government basically saying "we know you won't be able to do it by yourself, so we'll force them to accept you no matter what?" Since I'm a Swedish-German-English-Irish-etc.-etc.-American I cannot speak for them but I know if I were in that position I MYSELF would feel offended to say the least. I'm fed up and sick and tired of the racism that so called "Affirmative Action" represents. I'm ALL for TRUE equal opportunity for all of the HUMAN race, but until we move beyond this kind of backwards...

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I was told that I had to write a letter to exclude me from a big Wal-Mart suit and that it "must be signed by you under oath" and I have no idea how to sign a letter under oath. What do I need to do? I checked on this question out of curiosity, because I'd hoped to inquire in a comment thread as to the purpose of the suit, perhaps to better clarify how to answer. My best guess is you'd be best served in seeking out a Notary Public to inquire if they'd be able to direct you at least. Below is an excerpt from the Wikipedia entry for Notary Public followed by a link to said...

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Would you leave an abusive relationship, even if it meant being alone forever? Yes. I've known those who wouldn't, but I pity them greatly for it.

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Do you use lettuce more in salads or in sandwiches? Salads, most definitely. If I'm eating out I rarely want lettuce on a sandwich because it is so rarely ever fresh. On the ever so rare occasion that I feel compelled to eat the diarrhea inducing food at Taco Bell I find what hey refer to as 'lettuce' to be particularly pungent in a nasty way. I'm not sure what they treat it with to keep it s seemingly green as it is while...

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If you ever have the time & money, where do you want to go? Amsterdam, for one.

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What race do you see as most racist? I'd have to go with Americans of Black or African decent. Can you imagine if a Country music star, (I'm not even gonna try to name one because as far as I'm concerned all the ones I know of are above this type of behavior.) was to pull a reverse of the HORSESHIT that that punk assed loser Kanye West did at the award show where he dissed the very talented Taylor Swift to try to...

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Can i put a knife to your heart? Naw, it's already been done and the scar is a bitch!

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Wherever you go...........................? ..there you are! Or in my case;...there'll be some A-hole that wants to f**k-up an otherwise perfectly good day!

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What's the first thing comes to your mind when you hear "NO. 1"? I gotta take a tinkle?

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How many McDonald's are within 5 miles of you? According to my iPhone's Around Me app, there appears to be about 7. I'm a tad skeptical though, as it looks as if only two are on this side of the Mississippi River. So I'm assuming the other five are five or less miles away as the crow flies, savvy?

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What does hypocrite mean? Hypocrite means basically preaching;"Don't do as I DO, do as I SAY!" As in Al Gore preaching about how we all need to stop "Global Warming" by cutting back on our wasting of natural resources, while just ONE of his mansions uses over TEN TIMES the energy of the average American home, while he jets around the world in a private jet to do this preaching and rides...

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Why do I have this permanent smile on my face? Just a guess but is it WEED?

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Why do I stay High? Why NOT? is MY question!

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How common is it for a bride not to wear a white wedding dress? My mother wore a VERY non-traditional one I believe. I wish I had a picture of the one I believe she wore. I recall a picture from my childhood of her looking like a very thin, yet shapely Marilyn Monroe in a satiny royal blue strapless dress that no doubt inspired my ol' man to produce my siblings and me. She'd prolly kill me for posting this, but the lady looked damn classy in it.

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Are you old enough to remember cars with the little triangular window at the front end of the front-seat windows that actually opened? Ah yes, the wing-window. Been in many a vehicle with those. My dear, sweet ol' granny from my mother's side had a Barracuda with 'em. It wasn't the model style that most people remember best, but it was a fun classic style none the less. I'm pretty sure it predated any true "hatchback" model of any car, but it had a very unique hatchback style rear...

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If they had prizes in cereal for adults, what kind of prizes should be offered? I said it before http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/7602654 But it bears repeating; Either a sample of Kind buds or a decent piece of paraphernalia to smoke some outta...

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Would Michael Phelps look good on a box of "Weedies"? Can I get a "HELL YES!!!!!!"?

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You're driving in the middle of the night,there's a naked hitchhiker with a guitar,holding a sign stating that if you give him a ride he will play your favorite songs. Would you give him a ride? Um,..lemme think... HEEEEELLLLL NOOOOOOO!!!!!

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I have to legally evict my 27 year old bum/son, can you believe that yo?... Yo Ec, that's a bloody shame! But still, with all due respect to YOU, if you've carried his bum ass to that ripe ol' age, and he STILL can't make a positive contribution..well he needs his bum ass thrown to the curb to learn a valuable life lesson or two, to say the least.

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Are you a very photogenic person? I'd have to go with a BIG FAT NO on this one. While I have seen a very few pics of me I don't 'mind' too terribly much, on the whole I rarely ever see the guy who looks me in the mirror when I see the results of a camera pointed my way.

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In colt45 "afroman" smoking those tumbleweeds.. what does this mean? Marijuana, my favorite vice, right up there with RUM! ;-{D~

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On your way to the liquor store a high school kid tells you he'll give you $100 if you'll buy him some booze. What will you do? The Nazi-like police force in the great state of Louisiana LOVES to pull sting operations of this sort, so that alone would leave me a bit leery. But I might be inclined to pocket the cash and teach the rascal a lesson.

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On your way to the liquor store a high school kid tells you he'll give you $100 if you'll buy him some booze. What will you do? The Nazi-like police force in the great state of Louisiana LOVES to pull sting operations of this sort, so that alone would leave me a bit leery. But I might be inclined to pocket the cash and teach the rascal a lesson.

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What's something you might roll up? A "J"!

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Ranking Presidents of the U.S. is obviously an objective thing, so let us put is this way....for supporters of the U.S. Constitution is there any doubt B. Obama is the worst ever? As for those who are from before my time I can only speak for what little historians and the media have clued me into. Most assuredly President Nixon was no Saint, but his administration should not be as demonized as it was and is. Carter had far more of a punchline of a run in office, sadly only in detriment to our nation, but to the best of my knowledge he was never inclined to discredit...

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KISS ME! I'm ______________! A "Heinz 57" mutt!

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Do you think that the assassination of Abraham Lincoln ,James A. Garfield, William McKinley, John F. Kennedy ,and the attempted assassinations of Andrew Jackson, and Theodore Roosevelt should make the second amendment a thing of the past? What's wrong with arming bears? HELL NO! Actually the way things are going lately I'm starting to think in favor of someone renewing that grand ol' tradition. If only the criminals have guns, AND THEY WILL, none of us stand much of a chance.

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What's something you used to have, that would be worth big bucks today? Three complete sets of original 1977 Star Wars cards given to me by I guy I went to school with who was such a fanatic he probably had twice that plus every type of other memorabilia from that year til The Empire Strikes Back came out and beyond. He was the first of two Star Wars Super fanatics I've known in my life.

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Why do they call it a blow job if you are not really blowing? Good question! Perhaps due to "Suckjob" being taken by most of the employment I've endured throughout my "career". And NOOOOO! I've never mixed business with any sexual pleasures ESPECIALLY that type of "sucking up", savvy?

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Is it bad that I am rejoicing in the fact that my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend is completely unfortunate looking? (he broke my heart) Not at all Fun! F**k those Holier than thou c**ksuckers! Of course I can VERY MUCH relate since by total accident I found out the worthless whore who broke my heart was due to be married to a complete loser. Within a week of the wedding she figured out she'd made the biggest mistake of her life and tried to suck me back into her web of a lifetime of lies. She swore she was gonna divorce...

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So what do I have to say to get your attention? Pass the rum!

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Can't I change my address with my junk mailers and have them send it straight to the paper recycling facility? That's a hella good question! Wish I had a legit answer, but I'm sure there'd be legal action taken by those payin for the ads. Can't telemarketers just collect welfare instead of just being annoying assholes?

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Should kids be forced to do anything they don't want to do? YES! They should go to school, go to bed at a reasonable hour and get a decent nights sleep and learn to behave in public, all for their own good.

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Think of a famous Movie and replace one of the words with Sausage...? :) The Day The Sausage Stood Still How The Sausage Was Won Lethal Sausage Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Sausage There Will Be Sausage Monty Python The Holy Sausage Austin Powers The Sausage Who Shagged Me

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If you could choose your next incarnation (if there is such a thing as re-incarnation, that is, but supposing there is just ofr the exercise), what would you come back as? A spoiled and pampered dog.

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If you could do anything no matter the cost wat would you do? Explore the world in both the parts of the good ol' U.S.A. I've yet to see and many of the extraordinary places abroad.

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If you had three word to say about your partner, what would they be? Sweet, caring and loving.

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If you had to name the one thing that most frightens you about growing old, what would it be? Debilitating aches and pains and weakness. Also the loss of fond memories from Alzheimer's and simple forgetfulness.

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Anyone know a good website for wallpapers for a samsung propel? all the ones ive tried to download so far are grainy/blurry or not the right size. I don't know enough about the Propel model, but your question got me curious. I've just recently bought my second Samsung cell phone; the Impression, and while I'm still trying to familiarize myself with it, but overall am rather pleased. Have you checked Samsung's website? I assume the Propel has a camera, have you got a USB cable for it? On my old phone my carrier...

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If you had to move to a different country, where would you go, and why? New Zealand; I've heard so much about how beautiful the countryside is, as well as witnessed it from the Lord Of The Rings movies. Australia; It seems like an interesting blend of old and new. I like that overall what I seem to gather is that many Aussies seem to admire and respect U.S. more than some of it's own citizens do, sadly. Jamaica; the laid back lifestyle, the warm,...

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"A..........."? ..a..CHOOOOO! Excuse me for that but I've got this cold right now that's kickin' my ass big time. I just got up from prolly bout 12 hours of on and off coma, sweatin' bullets from fever and waking up from coughing fits.

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I did NOT particularly like the "Beatles" (or their songs)? Am I an anomaly or do I have company? I'm not by any means a fan of them. While I have enjoyed a song or two by them occasionally. I mostly think they are rather overrated. I knew a guy once who was surprisingly obsessed with them for his age it was like a sickness and he was desperate to infect everyone. that mighta been more of a turn off for me than anything.

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Egg + Onion + Potato =? Hash browns and a simple omelet breakfast. Needs some bacon or sausage patties.

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Are you age-sensitive? If/when you discover someone is much older or much younger than you, does it change how you perceive them and treat them and feel about them? I'm not talking romantic relationships...just friendship. I'd like to think I don't truly let it affect how I treat people out of a desire to be fair. Some who know me might try to dispute this, but hey, pobody's nerfect. Especially regarding friends, I might jokingly refer to them as kiddo, sonny, boy etc. or ol' timer, old man, Gramps etc for those who are my senior. This is truly all in fun with no disrespect intended. ...

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Van Halen or Van Hagar? I'm really on the fence on this one. Van Halen in it's prime was the ultimate ass-kicking mega-Rock concert party. Eddie is a musical genius. Dave was the ultimate frontman 'til his enormous ego turned him into a punchline. Van Hagar definitely took the band in a new direction. Some great, some so-so. Some of Sammy's best work mighta been the album he was...

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Give me a Name beginning with the Letter S - that you like please...? I'd always been fond of the name Stephany. To my best recollection I've only ever met one person by that name that was less than alluring, but it was more a lack of a pleasant personality than physical attractiveness.

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All games work on my playstation 3, but cod world at war tries to load, but the screen stays blank. but if i load up under another user, it loads fine. wot is the problem? I'm sure this isn't the answer you want to hear, but in my honest opinion, the problem is the system is designed by Sony Playstation. Of the three systems they've put out(5 if you count the reduced sized versions of the first 2)I've never seen a more glitchy, lock-up or crash prone set of designs by a major name game system designer. I gave up on them when a good...

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I am starting a new community on a desert Island, which ABers would like to join me? Also you can bring one person with you in you new life will it be a fantasy person, s/o other Aber or somebody else? I'd be honored if you'd permit me to join you in what sounds like paradise. I'd like to bring along what I consider to be all of the above rolled into one, savvy?

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It is with a deep sense of sadness that I must make the following announcement. At 9:47 a.m. May 26, 2009, DreAnna peacfully was called home. I will be posting further information on her profile page for all concerned parties. I see I'm not the only one who was deeply saddened and shocked at this news. What I knew of her was that she was one of the kindest, most thoughtful, intelligent, caring and compassionate people I've ever known. but sadly, I knew her all too briefly, and not nearly so much as I would have liked for such a fine lady in every sense of the word. I am certain of this, if there is any...

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My friends keep saying NBA stinks. Do you care about the NBA? Naw, personally I'd prefer watching paint dry. Never been a huge sports fan but I can think of a long list of other sports I'd much rather watch.

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What is the closest that you've ever been to hotel California? Probably Tucson AZ.

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Are there sidewalks in your neighborhood? Nope, but I'd sure like 'em to ride my bike on. The roads 'round here aren't all that safe for bike riding in my opinion.

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Do you have a pet that you let anywhere in the house (like on the bed and couch)? Every SQUARE inch for all four. (I take that back Dog-Dog isn't allowed upstairs cuz he'd eat the kitties.) Cupcake the Chihuahua has even taken to trying to sleep the night away on Sugar-licious's head lately.

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Has a police car ever given you a ride? A time or two at least, but nothing I'm too terribly proud of, savvy?

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Have you ever experienced "Tongue ache"? Well yes actually, but best not to go into detail as to how, savvy?

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Who is an actor you consider embarrassingly bad? For me it's Courtney Cox. Steven Seagal is one of the first that comes to mind after those already mentioned. I'm not sure he could act his way out of a paper bag. He's supposed to be some kind of badass, but I read where he was trying to show some aging old stuntman how tough he was and the stuntman dropped him unconscious like a sack of potatoes.

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What is the first thing dat comes to mind when i say, 'jeff dunham' <3 First thing would probably be zzzzooOOOOOM! with Peanut doing the "right over yer head" hand signal. With Achmed the terrorist close behind, although I might just be more akin to Walter than I may care to admit. And who can forget a jalapeño on a stick?

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If you could only see movies with one specific actor/actress in them (like all of Bruce Willis' movies or all of Goldie Hawn's movies), what actor's movies would you see? Can't pick just one... Bruce Willis Will Smith Mel Gibson Morgan Freeman Harrison Ford Denzel Washington Viggo Mortenson Nicholas Cage Sean Connery...

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Is your nationality the same as the country you live in? I consider myself as American as any citizen of the good ol' U.S.A. can be.

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Why do you like to eat onions even though it makes your breath smell terrible? I just love onions in and on everything from pizza to omelets to hamburgers. To me a steak isn't as good as it could be without a little bit of onion salt at least. Perhaps I'm just selfish but I'd rather enjoy my food than worry too much about if it causes my breath to be offensive. There are plenty of things that seem to do that anyway.

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Would you agree that the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series was Johnny Depp's BEST roles to date? I'd have to say YES in my honest opinion, but to be honest I'd not seen much from him prior to that series aside from perhaps Once Upon a Time In Mexico, which I thought was at least an interesting role. A friend just loaned me Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas which he highly recommended and I'll watch in a bit but I highly doubt I'll prefer it over me own namesake, savvy?...

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Don't ever worry about______? ...ME joining the ranks of the seriously misguided, misinformed spoon fed liberal lemmings that seem hell bent on unraveling the fabric that holds the United States of America together.

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Ever had a "Long Island Ice Tea"? Sure! Not a bad little way to get a serious buzz on fast without even knowing what hit you, provided money is no object, cuz a drink with that many kinds of alcohol in it tends to get a bit pricey, savvy? CHEERS!

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Why did you throw that away? Judging by the appearance, odds are pretty good it had already become a lifeform, I wasn't about to let it evolve into something that was gonna wipe out the rest of the stuff in the fridge, much less gain sentience and take over the house, savvy?

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I have heard people say the only way to justice is throught your wallet, do you believe this? How else would you explain OJ Simpson cutting off the head of his wife and her lover and getting away with it? Or "Magic" Johnson "magical" recovery from being diagnosed as HIV positive, but now "Today, Magic Johnson’s HIV viral load is undetectable in his blood stream." http://sandrarose.com/2008/05/22/magic-johnsons-hiv-cure-natrol/ With due respect...

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If marijuana could be legalized, but at the cost of banning tobacco, would you support that change? I'd be all for it! I'm a well over 25 year cigarette smoker who is torn between wanting to quit and lacking willpower to do so. A very little non-biased research will show you there are quite dubious reasons that marijuana was ever made illegal in the first place. Misguided fear and prejudice at best. Tobacco has many far greater health risks linked to it and 'weed' has...

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Is Elton John's music consider pop or rock? Pop in my book. It has almost none of the elements of what I consider to be rock aside from music and lyrics. I was fortunate enough to have provide me with a limited pass to the Harley Davidson 100th Anniversary celebration in the birthplace of the Harley; Milwaukee WI. The featured performer was a big mystery till showtime and when Elton hit the stage a sea of big-bad-biker-wannabes...

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Are movies based on board games like Battleship the wave of the future? What could the plot possibly be? (see link) God I hope not! Sounds as interesting as watching paint dry. But if memory serves there was a Star Trek episode from the campy original series where a planet they visited was at war and the two opposing sides had supercomputers that would calculate which lives would be lost in simulated attacks back and forth between sides. On this planet if you were on the receiving end of one of these...

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Which soda do you think tastes best even when it has lost its fizz? I'm thinking Mountain Dew so long as it's not watered down or warm.

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How many brothers and or sisters do you have? I have two little sisters. One of each, both older and she is the senior sibling, savvy?

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What food or drink do you associate with your home town? To the best of my knowledge the town I was born in is the only place on Earth you can find the exquisite taste of a Panzarata. What? Never heard of one you say? It is a freshly made pizza made from your choice of toppings, folded in half and then deep fried. OMG! they are to DIE for.

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How big is your remote control ? Arf Arf Arf 11.75" X 5" X 1" Big enough for ya?

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Who would you bitch slap: Sarah Palin or Nancy Pelosi? Pelosi in a heartbeat, especially if there was a snowball's chance in hell I could knock some sense into that misguided mind of hers. However I fear the only result might be that the facelift tucks might cut loose and then at least the world would discover it's really just Emperor Palpatine with brain damage due to the tightness on her skull.

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my...

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Can you name 3 things that you like better than your ex? Me, myself and I

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Besides toothpaste, name something that comes in a tube? YouTube?

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Now this is unusual. Why would the President of the United States announce that Chrysler will be going into bankruptcy? Isn't that usualy reserved for the president of the company or the CEO? So when all the hope and change aftermath that makes the Big 3 into the BIG ONE(Big Brutha) he can direct all who can perhaps still afford to invest in a new automobile to "Bite the BIG ONE!" Remember the Cold-War USSR and the great selection of fine autos available(after a years long waiting list) in 1 model and stylishly detailed in your choice of "The People's Grey"...

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Would Answerbag pirates be seen dead in lingerie? Not THIS pirate but I can think of quite a few I would hope would...

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Have you ever considered being a pirate?(Yes or no is good) Am I NOT? Of course!

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How do Answerbag pirates drink their rum? Anyway we can get it! How we hold our licker all depends on willingness to participate, the size of the ears or length of the lass's hair, savvy?

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Can you describe your chilhood in 1 word? Short

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Kim Kardashian claims to be a size 2. If that azz is a size 2, what size is yours? Well I don't think anyone wants to know MY booty size but if she thinks she's fooling anyone with all THAT junk in her trunk she's really only fooling herself. Not that a bodacious booty is a BAD thing, it beats a total lack of ass by a long shot. But (butt)what can I say? PIRATE! (In my picture research on this subject I couldn't help but notice her apparent...

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What do you do with a captured Answerbag pirate? Well if it be li'l ol' me yer referrin' to then might I suggest; Hanging.... ...out with him and passing him the rum! ARRRR! ..Oh, and if applicable surrendering the booty couldn't hurt either.

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Anyone up for strip Monopoly? Or, perhaps Strip Twister?

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1 place you always wanted to see...Where would you want to go? I have always wanted to go to Switzerland JUST one place is tough to choose, but most likely New Zealand. Followed a VERY close second by both Amsterdam tied with Jamaica. I'm sure I could go on quite a bit but i've already disqualified my answer just by trying to point out how tough it is for me to limit it to just one of the many fascinating places there are to see in this world, savvy?

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What were you doing at 8 AM this morning? 'bout 2 hours into my somewhat shorter than average 10 hour workday. More specific than that is a trifle fuzzy.

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Can I give you hell? Been there, done that, did it with my Ex. Now I'm in eternal Heaven with the sweetest woman I've ever known, so keep it all for yerself, mate.

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Have you ever exprienced a natural disaster like a tornado,flood,landside,tsunami etc? Hurricane Gustav kicked the ass of my new hometown not long after I moved here. Where I'm from tornadoes were fairly commonplace but I was never severely or drastically affected by either. Inconvenienced? HELL yes. but I count my many blessings I never lost anything of tremendous significance, especially a loved one.

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What is the word you use all the time that no one else uses anymore? (Mine is snazzy:) ) Savvy?

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Does anybody else think the "do not call" system is out of order? Yes it most certainly seems that way. WTF? I thought at one time that at least cellphones were still sacred but such is apparently NOT the case anymore. I just WISH my final notice would STAY my final notice instead of infinitely repeating second and then final warnings. These people should be found and beaten severely with a bag of oranges till they are no longer able to use automated...

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Did you ever watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Hell yes! It was a classic, but it's been FOREVER!

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A little kid you know well was raped and murdered by a caretaker. Would you a) want him to rot in jail, b) get the death penalty, or c) take care of him yourself. OOOOH such a scintillating question! First instinct fer me would be to personally cause them an ever so slow and brutally agonizing death. The "death penalty" would be far to quick and 'soft' for such a heinous crime. Rotting in the most cruel and disgusting of jails in the world with no chance of ever seeing freedom again might be the closest thing to justice the person...

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What do you have in that bag? The thump-thump. ....*GASP* where is the thump-thump?!?!?!?!

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Do you like sunflower seeds, I am on my fourth 5.25 oz bag today. I LOVE'em but I kinda get 'em in spurts. QUITE healthy for ya!

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What do you think of Barack Obama being president? I'd like to be able to just say "Not much at all.", but if you truly want my opinion it frightens the ever-living F*CK out of me based on everything I know about the man, his policies and continue to learn about him with each passing day. And very little would offend me more than if someone were to imply my negative opinions of the man are in any way racist. I'm fed up,...

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What do you think of the President of the United States bowing to a Saudi King? I think it is disgraceful and only serves to show the Arab world, who view this type of action in an entirely different manner than a simple show of respect as more naive members of the free world might see such a simple act.

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Why is it when i disagree with Obama, the people call me a racist? it's not about color it's about different political views. i never speak about color or call him names Because playing the race-card is just so much easier than sensibly debating or defending weak and impotent policies. It always amazes me when blatant racism is perfectly acceptable and ignored from ONE side of the fence while objections that aren't even race related get spun into being called racist so easily and acceptably.

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Why does the stock market drop whenever Obama gives a speech? One could naturally conclude that it represents a total lack of faith in his policies, that are reminiscent of many failed policies from the past, intended to stimulate any economy in desperate need of life support.

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Who here wants to join me in congratulating President Obama for the way he handled the situation with the Somali Pirates and the captain of the Maersk Alabama? Not I. I'm in no way certain he had anything worthwhile to contribute to the outcome aside from not getting in the way or using his office to block those that DID get the job done. If he is to impress me he's gonna have to develop an effective policy to deal with the reasons the situation developed the way it did in the first place.

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Bill Clinton had 7 terror incidents during his administration. 6400+ people were killed or injured. Clinton's lack of appropriate action lead to 9-11, which killed an estimated 5000 Americans. Will Obama's weak stance on terror lead to similar results. Interesting and well stated question! Sadly only time will tell, but I fear we will only know for certain the hard way, with exponentially more dire results no doubt. Obama's administration is showing all the signs of being little more than "Clinton-light", a third less sense(REMARKABLY)than Clinton's empowering those who hate and strive to bring down our way of life, with...

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The obamas named their dog bo. do you think bo stands for barack obama? Or perhaps Body Odor? I'm JUST sayin'! Not that I really give a rip but it does smack of some self-righteousness that it's name is his initials. But hey at least he DID create one "shovel ready" job for the White House staffer who gets to clean up after the beastie.

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If you could turn anything on/off what would that be? The shameless runaway spending our government is wasting on failed plans that make no sense to try to fix the economy while not only making it worse but burdening future generations with astronomical debt.

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On a scale of zero%(failure) to a hundred%(Messiah), how to you think the CURRENT overall world opinion of president Barack H. Obama stands? ZERO

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Who would like to help me wish a Happy 2 Year AB Anniversary to Misstarrie , AB's most beautiful and original Miss Betty Boop ? It has been a wonderful two years having you around Misstarrie !! * MUAH * Oh HELL YES!!!! Happy Anniversary yer Boopiness! And many mooooore!

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What can you think of that gets better the deeper you go? Love, plain and simple. Though it does get a tad more treacherous throwin' all in, the reward can be well worth it. Mate if you choose to lock your heart away you'll lose it for certain.

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The best thing your partner can say when you first see each other naked? I don't recall what exactly you said my Dear, but I do recall your eyes spoke volumes, so I hope the same can be said for me, cuz it made me feel more alive than I ever recall being. Thank you.

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What does it mean when girls stick their tongue out between two fingers? I would happily consider it to be an invitation to "Eat at the 'Y'", so to speak. Though more often than not it more likely intended in the derogatory sense; i.e. A girl I dated (briefly) in high school used to love to say "Lick me where I pee!" More than half of the time it was intended as a snappy comeback, for instance if she just got "burned" by...

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What does it mean when girls stick their tongue out between two fingers? I would happily consider it to be an invitation to "Eat at the 'Y'", so to speak. Though more often than not it more likely intended in the derogatory sense; i.e. A girl I dated (briefly) in high school used to love to say "Lick me where I pee!" More than half of the time it was intended as a snappy comeback, for instance if she just got "burned" by...

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What comes to your mind when I say "Newton"? Gravity sucks!

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Do you still have landlines? Please flag this duplicate answer as AB was glitching when I attempted to answer and neglected to show me that my original answer had posted, savvy?

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Do you still have landlines? Sure do, I don't have all that much faith in ANY of the cellular networks.

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Have you ever turned on the tv to watch a fav program only to be on the computer and miss the program? Yup! All too often.

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I feel embarrassed to ask this, but do you ever feel like keying a person's car when they park like an a$$hole and take up two places? Is it just me? I wouldn't feel the least bit embarrassed bout that phillis, anyone should feel outraged at that kind of arrogance. While I admit, the thought has crossed my mind, I don't recall for certain if I ever followed through or not. I have definitely left messages for these self-centered A-holes, in one way or another, on many occasions.

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Who would like to help me wish a Happy 2 Year AB Anniversary to the most chilling and handsomest creature of the night on AB, our favorite vampire Vlad the Unveiler? It's been a Bloody good time having you around these last two years! *MUAH* Count ME in yer Boopiness! I have not but respect and admiration fer me ol pal Vlad. Three cheers for the Great Unveiler! Hip Hip HOORAY! Hip Hip HOORAY! Hip Hip HOORAY! Congrats my friend! ;-{D~

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Dead balls? What is this catagory all about? ROFLMAO! I think it might be a serious stage beyond erectile dysfunction. But I wouldn't know about these things, savvy?

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Why does Obama want to stop paying the health care of military veterans and make private health insurance pay for it? Nothing that man does makes any sense to me. Well I sure as hell don't know! The man is insane in my opinion. We can bail out crooked businesses, dim-witted starry-eyed speculators, and illegal immigrants who have no love or respect for this country whatsoever, but those who have actually put their lives literally on the line for the country they love and the government that seems to find new ways to stab them in the back for it.

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Why is it said that there is a fine line between Insanity and Genius? How do they know? As a learned(though rather deluded), colleague once put it when confronted by an uppity young whelp who dared question the madness or brilliance of his most recent scheme:"Remarkable how often those two threaten to coincide!"

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Does anybody really care what time it is? Not so long as it's 5:00 o'clock somewhere! ...er even 4:20 fer THAT matter!

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Silver Cleaning.- What is a home-made solution to clean silver jewellery? I believe that a solution of vinegar and salt is quite effective.

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If I knocked on your door, and you answered, and I told you "I am Cowboy from answerbag".......Would I be welcomed into your home? Certainly Sir, come right in! Rum?

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What does your shirt say right now? Warner Brothers It's a baseball jersey. *I edited in a tribute to one of my greatest heroes; Mel Blanc-The man of a thousand voices. When they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I find this a perfect example, not only the vivid characters he created silenced when we lost this great American icon. Rest in peace, dear Maestro.

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When was the last time you used a screwdriver or hammer? @ some given time this day I assure you. And tomorrow will be the same answer I'd give any night, Pinky, soon enough, soon enough.

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What's something you don't 'get'? The extreme liberal left and the mindless lemmings that blindly follow the extreme liberal media; whose typical political analysis seems the equivalent of having violently shat on a canvas, hanging it on a wall and calling it 'art'.

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What makes guys melt? A fine well maintained booty and a warm friendly attitude that would indicate that one might be so inclined to be granted access to said booty if one played one's cards right, savvy?

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Where did you find it? Right exactly where it had been left. If we could get us a tad more organized we'd be less inclined to lose things now, wouldn't we?

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Can you name a word that isn't spelled how it sounds? How about the name of a local gunshop named Hebert Guns said "A Bear" Guns.

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Exactly where are you now? What are you doing? How are you feeling? What can you see? What can you hear? In the Conservatory. Having a heated discussion with Mr. Boddy while admiring his stunning collection of rather hefty candlesticks. Enraged. I see what appears to be a secret passage. I hear the grunts and groans of Col. Mustard seemingly in the throws of passion with Boddy's fiancé;Miss Scarlet in the boudoir.

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How many sugars do you have in your coffee? Lots of Sugar! I'm a Sugar fiend. But I like my coffee strong enough to damn near stand a spoon up in the pot.

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What do you eat scrambled eggs with? Some sautéed onions some Monterey Jack and some salsa.

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Which would you prefer an Irish coffee or a French coffee? I'm leaning towards Caribbean coffee with RUM.

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What 4 or more lettered words can precede "LIGHT"? (Example:taillight, spotlight) Miller Genuine Draft Light Heineken Light Coors Light and does the phonetic count? As in Miller Lite

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Our president is _________. Finish the sentence. ..frightfully and criminally clueless, and the repercussions of "What the HELL have they DONE?" electing someone with so little substantive experience and clear goals in lieu of pipedreams and "charm"{?} will be felt globally for some time to come.

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Honestly, do I make a difference? Speaking strictly and specifically for meself I can say unequivocally that you most certainly DO make a world of difference. And I can personally vouch for many other lives you've touched in very important ways. I guess this begs the question(s)Do you NOT feel that you make a difference? I've seen enough evidence to know that you most assuredly make an astounding difference, my Dear.

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Do old guys suck? I can't speak for all of us, but I still try to do MY part to find newer and better ways to suck. Ladyflesh that is. Though the opportunity doesn't present itself as much as one might like. I mean lick, suck, it's all the same right?

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Do you fear death? My only fear of death is it having a negative impact on those who for whatever reason might feel devastated by losing me. Truthfully I have faith that there is a great beyond and confidently certain I'll get what I deserve, I just hope I've lived well enough for that to be a good thing. So in some ways I will welcome my time when it comes, so long as those who care don't weep...

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Team Aniston or Team Jolie? Team Aniston with ME! Brad (arm)Pitt can keep Jolie, she just seems like too much of a wingnut to me regardless of of the fact the packaging looks good.

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Would you rather have fallen in love, and had your heart broken to pieces, or had never to love at all? Why? I wish I could recall the movie, actor, and quote this reminds me of, but suffice it to say whoever first asked that question didn't have a frickin' CLUE! I hate to sound bitter, but, if I could relive my life without that type of pain and loss I'd do it in a nonosecond and believe honestly that I could be a better person for it. If time heals all wounds, then perhaps justice...

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If I would have known ______ How would you finish this sentence? I was only wasting my life with that lying, manipulating, two-timing worthless whore; I'd have either moved on two decades ago or never have let things get started in the first place between us.

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Is your computer trippin? If you mean not able to access the Internet(I'm on a borrowed laptop) not able even prior to losing connectivity not being able to respond or send email while I still received hundreds daily; then YES!

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Do you (pee) believe (urinate) in the power (pressure) of subliminal (wiz) messages? Dang I had a response to this but my back teeth are floating and I can't concentrate! (Send me all your available cash) I'll get back to you on this in a bit, excuse me a moment...

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Do you realize that John F. Kennedy would be considered a "neo-con" by the liberals in America today? Ya got that right! Funny ol' world, init?

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Take a moment to thank a teacher. Who inspired you? My original Drama teacher Fred Metzner; who sadly retired halfway through my first year and was replaced by a woman that turned it all into a more exclusive 'cliches' kind of class that wasn't my cup of rum in the slightest. Fred just had this magnificent way with people from all walks of life, and had an exuberance that was inspiring and infectious even in the twilight of his...

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"Global Warming" Hype or Reality I'll go with HYPE on this one based on the available data.

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What are the very, absolute BEST examples of why you should “Never Underestimate The Power Of Mass Stupidity?” Ladies and Gentlemen may I present to you our new Messiah, er..excuse me President Barrack Hussein Obama. (Note to self; insert pithy cartoon lampooning this buffoon and his Rockstar status based on a whole lot of nothing, upon return to the MotherPC.)

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear, "no child left behind"? No unqualified and lazy worthless teachers held to any reasonable standards to give our future generations a serious foothold in competing with other world markets. The modern American school system is failing our children and our future at an exponential rate. And who do we have to thank? Unions and no accountability. I'm not saying it's a job I'd want, but it'd be...

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What things do you prefer doing naked? Skinny dipping is a fav of mine, so long as the water and air are reasonably warm.

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I am very tired tonight. Will you please tuck me in? You got it M'lady, but pirates can tend to bring about scary dreams. I however shall protect you and assure you a peaceful slumber. Fair enough?

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Men, postorgasm, what should a woman do until you're ready for round two? Tough one to answer due to a few factors. Mainly any way you look at it some sweet affectionate snuggling (provided you aren't both overheated and drowning in exhausted sweat) is ALWAYS a good follow up. And providing it's either early, the weekend, the kids are away, the dogs aren't looking to join in and I'm not passed out and snoring the paint off the wall.. then......

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How many days do you have off for Christmas? I hadta take Mon, Tues & Fri off without pay, and was lucky enough to have not pulled the following Sat this round. I flew from my new home in LA to my old one in WI to pack an extremely overpriced moving truck that I'll be running the red-eye back home in. So to sum up I only had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off with pay.

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__________ was an original design of mine? The Internet til that bastard Al Gore tried to claim it as his. But surely given HIS track record of lies and B.S. you know I was the more likely than that conman.

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Is failure to communicate really what we have here? ...some men (and women) you just can't reach, so you get... Oh and say "what" one more time will you?

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Which would you rather see in a movie: violence or nudity? Nudity over violence any day of the week. Preferably not gross disgusting hideous type nudity that may make me FEEL violent.

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Is it snowing where you are? No thank GAWD and not bloody likely to. Oh how I don't miss the Frozen Tundra for that.

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Would you pee your pants for 100 bucks and let one person see it? Yeah, most likely I would, though not proudly.

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What is the most pain you've ever been in? Physically? Kidney stones no question whatsoever!

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When I say, "I'm your vehicle, baby" what do you think of first? Either strippers with 'names' like "Lexus" or "Mercedes" or the saying "Soldiers need Hummers."

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There is no lady like _______________. Who? The lovely sweet and witty Sugar-licious! http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=180856 {But I'm naturally biased} ;-{D~

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Is AB slow for you today like it is for me or is it just me? Slow as F**K and useless as tits on a bull!

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Smile is the 2nd best thing you can do with your Lips. What is first thing? ..??.. Oh cum now! The gift that keeps on giving... ... ...HEAD of course!

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Which Anti-Voting tactics from the Republicans or Democrats is the worst? I gotta go with the Democrats and things like Acorn getting votes from the dead, illegals, homeless people without a clue, "non-Americans still holding U.S. citizenship, etc. etc. All while trying to deny and discount the votes of active duty military personnel serving their country overseas by trying to have their absentee ballots not counted. It is disgusting to say the least.

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My dear friend 'Lippycow jetpacking for Nelson' has finally made it to GURU!!! Lets get together and wish her congratulations and have a fabulous party.. are you with me? Yeah for Lippycow!!! Nicely done! 'ave a drink on me?

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I'm feeling really down today :( Can someone tell me something funny? An old priest who for years had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital, lay dying in the hospital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden before I die," he whispered. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse, and she respectfully forwarded...

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! An old priest who for years had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital, lay dying in the hospital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden before I die," he whispered. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse, and she respectfully forwarded...

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The wonderful,witty and beautiful MENTAL MUM has reached GURU,please put your hands and congrats together for a lovely lady:) Yikes! Where the blazes have I been? Congrat's Mum! Well done!!! ;-{D~

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Is there a hotel you would never stay at again? I have this nasty tendency to block really negative things like that so i can't name names with any degree of certainty, but, I stayed at one of those dirt cheap week-long stay places in Tennessee that I'd hope to never have to stay at ever again and was there for a solid month. there was also some cheap either Motel6 or 8 on the way back from Florida, some 15 years ago that was such...

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Do you ever feel like giving up with your job search? Of course! The new Messiah will now provide for us all so long as we fall in line, give up our guns and drink the Kool-aid right?

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Do you or have you suffered from depression? Yes the results of the last Presidential election have left me disgusted with my own fellow Americans for the most part.

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Why is it so hard to wake up from a nightmare? I sometimes find myself stuck in a bad dream and can't escape or wakeup! I understand completely I've felt that way since the evening of November 4th. I keep having this reoccurring nightmare that media dazed lemming have surrendered control of this nation to a man who loves America dead last over the will of those who feel some unresolved need to "put us in our place" so to speak. Nations and extremist groups who hate everything that the U.S.A....

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So in saying that President-elect Barack Hussein Obama attended a Muslim school but hasn't practiced Islam, is that likening him to smoking Islam but not inhaling? All I can say for certain is he seems mighty confused.

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Should Sarah Palin run for PRESIDENT in 2012 (or 2016)? She'd get my vote. I only wish her opponents were as scrutinized as she and McCain were in this last election by the liberal media.

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Which month of the year would best describe your personality? I would like to be May for the warmth and growth it brings. But the Patriot in me loves July for the Patriotism the 4th brings that I wish would carry out throughout the year more than it does.

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Interesting how many theories, fears and statements are made now that Obama is president. We never said anything about George B.-is it because he's white and someone we're 'used to?' Difference always unsettles people -incredible. WHO never said anything about Bush? The current President has been criticized, insulted, disrespected and outright hated by the media, the bulk of this blog-site and throughout the entire Internet and world. I have seen nothing but pretty talk and NO substance whatsoever from Obama. Oh and of course some rather disturbing implications and accusations against him that have been washed over...

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Should women Love, Honor, Worship and Obey their husband/partners? Yes with the exception of obeying to the point it is reasonable and assuming said partner loves, honors, worships, protects and respects said woman. I would prefer something along the lines of "...support you in your goals and respect you."

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What is your favorite book? Angels & Demons The Lord Of The Rings trilogy The Han Solo trilogy Dereliction Of Duty

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If Hillary or McCain would have had a white church pastor that preached the kind of hate-speech Obama's pastor did, they would have been crucified... ....But the issue was almost completely avoided with Obama......Why? two words White guilt

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Obama won. Are you happy!? Not by any stretch of the imagination. PLEASE GAWD tell me this is all just some horrible nightmare I'll wake up from screaming?

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Did you vote? I did for all the good it did. I weep not only for me and mine but for future generations.

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What authoritative source states that Barack Obama is a smoker? Apparently (SADLY) he is a poll smoker.

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So, if things do not improve under obama, do you think enough demworshippers might wake up for us to start electing independants? most rep voters already know it is a lesser of 2 evils situation. I wish, the system is broken apparently beyond repair from the looks of how this election is heading. An inexperienced man, with no proven leadership abilities has mesmerized a guilt ridden nation into bending to his whim. And God save us all when we learn all of what he has in store for us. Provided we actually replace the Kool-aid with coffee and wake the F*CK up we'll be stuck with a...

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Do u think if obama gets in the us is screwed No more like we are dry anal F**KED if he is elected into office of the President of the United States.

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Do you think that in general people are getting stupider? If the current state of the presidential election is any indication... YES!!!!!!!!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/uselections2008?CMP=KNC-ecsearch&HBX_PK=US-ELECTION&HBX_OU=50

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Ok so why are you doing that? Sumbitch!!! I didn't think I'd get caught!

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Parties are great places to ___________? Seek out some booty. Bury a treasure in a chest or box.

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How does money smell? My old worn out singles often smell like perfumed stripper panties, but I SWEAR it is NOT from ME!!!!!!!! Since I can rarely afford to keep any larger bills long enough to get a whiff I wouldn't know but I imagine some bigger bills smell like cocaine more often than they ought to. but once again that is NOT my cup o' rum, savvy?

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What is the worst thing a guy can say when he sees his new baby? "There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!" Compliments of the late great Jackie Gleason as Sheriff Buford T. Justice quote from Smokey And The Bandit.

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Do you think that all cigarette smokers are rude people? No and I'm known many a hypocritical tobacco chewer that was by far ruder in how and where they discharged said disgusting and filthy habit of spitting said juice while preaching about not wanting to have to smell cigarettes. When and if I myself light up I try my damnedest(not always with success)to do all in my power to not offend non smokers as I agree they have every right to not be...

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How may I help you? I think I may just be beyond help but thanks for asking anyway.

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Does anyone else think that wendy's vanilla frosty sucks? do you think they should have strawberry flavor? I like a LOT of things with good vanilla flavor, but I agree, Wendy's vanilla frosty is horrible. They ought to have a banana, RASPBERRY flavor or cherry in my opinion. I also love REAL strawberry but just about anything artificially strawberry flavored turns my stomach, so NO to the second question, yes to the first.

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Do you think Canadians should be given the right to vote in the US Presidential elections? Not at all, nor should any citizens of any other country. Nothing irritates me more than those who chose to live on the other side of a border somehow feel they should somehow have a say in how others should behave or act. THAT freedom to choose our own destiny is what this nation was founded on. So why does anyone put any stock in the views of those who have no interest in "walking a...

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Can you help a friend of mine come up with some better put downs? She uses expressions like "meanie-head" and "boob." She is not good at being mean so can we please give her some better put-downs? Living brain donor Waste of oxygen Motard(combining moron and retard{Thanks Nitroduck}) Numbnuts Retread Dingleberry ...those are the only 'nice' ones I can think of at the moment...

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What would you like to ask James Bond? Trade me watches? The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', 007 replies, 'I am here alone. Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.' The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?' 'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,' he...

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If you got a Call from the Producers and Directors of the Hit T.V. Series Heroes,and ask you to play a Person with Powers what Powers will you suggest to them that will be perfect for your Role? Mind reading and telekinesis. I'd have to play a somewhat troubled soul, so if I didn't like what someone was thinking I could throw something at them with my mind. As I've never seen the show I don't know if this fits the criteria, but I have been semi interested in the series. I just never allowed TV to control me enough to follow a series ever.

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Do you donate your clothes when you don't wear them anymore? I very often do if I think they are worthy of still wearing

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Why do males have nipples? Damn fine question, and one for the maker as well as; "Why is the sky blue?" Sure there are scientific reasons for it but does that really satisfy your urge to know "WTF?" Besides this reminds me of the statement "That is about as useful as tits on a bull!" which to me is the epitome of useless. Some however may disagree since I have heard of guys being highly...

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What is something you would never buy at Walmart? A car, diamonds or any other fine jewelery for that matter.

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What are some classic combinations? can be anything... How bout rum & wenches?

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Would you rather live in a place with or without snow? I've literally had it up to HERE------ with snow. I left my home in the upper Midwest right next to Lake Michigan,(YES WI) for a good many reasons and snow is on that list indeed. I confess in my childhood I loved the stuff to a degree and can't imagine growing up without it. But there is a good reason that old folks retire to the sunbelt. IT GETS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! For...

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Do you think you’re capable of taking a human life? Fairly certain if I were sure the occasion called for it as a last resort. But I pray I never need put it to the test.

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What do you think of people who are overly affectionate in public? I'm all for it to a point. I'd much rather see more displays of love and kindness in the world than hate, arguing and disrespect. Groping and beyond is quite inappropriate in most public settings, but sweet tender loving kisses and hugs just MIGHT inspire others in positive ways, providing jealousy doesn't rear it's ugly head.

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Do you think Asian girls are just as pretty as blonde girls?Be honest please. Some far more so, some not so much. It truly depends on the girl. I tend to prefer brunettes but have seen some incredibly pretty blonds as well. I've also seen some breathtakingly beautiful Asian women that many blonds can't hold a candle to.

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Whats the funnest,but also the dirtiest joke you know? Two sperm are swimming along and one asks the other; "Hey ya think we're nearing the egg yet?" The other responds;"No Dumbass, we just passed the tonsils!"

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If you had a good friend named Jack, and he was on his horse, would you help Jack off the horse? If I were so inclined as to be atop said horse there would actually not be all that many I would look to for said help, but thanks to those who might offer.

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Your favourite one liner? Opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one.

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued....

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What kind of mixed drinks can I make with coconut rum? Usually one that tastes like tanning lotion to be quite honest. Ya want GOOD rum? Try Captain Morgan's Private Stock

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I'm not a drinker, but I had a shot of 150 proof rum and my whole mouth felt like it was on fire. Does this usually happen to you? Um, yeah, 151 is NOT fer rookies! It's usually best when mixed in a cocktail or with a good sized splash of Coke. Drink responsibly, Captain's orders!

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Rum, rum, rum, how much do we love rum here on ab? Loads and loads! Drink up me 'earties, YO HO!!! Want a li'l Cap'n in ya? Drink responsibly, Captain's orders!

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What are some good drinks to make with rum? If you are feeling adventurous allow me to direct you to a li'l recipe for a drink called Captain With a Skirt; http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1116448 I meself much prefer me rum either on the rocks or with a splash of Coke. And NEVER EVER with that foul tasting concoction known as Pepsi! That stuff is just beyond foul!

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What is the best tasting brand of rum that you know of? I'm rather partial to most of the fine spirits my esteemed colleague Captain Morgan makes, but his crown jewel is quite probably Captain Morgan's Private Stock. It is a tad pricey, but smooth and tasty as hell! He also makes one called Tattoo, but while it's not BAD I can't say I love it. To each 'is own though. Got a li'l Captain in you?

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Should I get drunk tonight? I have a lot of rum, but no one to drink it with Well I'd be happy to join ya, just so ya need not drink alone. CHEERS! ;-{D~

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There's a lot of boats in the ocean ~ which one are you in? Why, the Black Pearl of course! My vessel is magnificent, fierce and huge-ish... but somehow the way my life seems to go I never know if it and I are in Davy Jone's Locker, if up is down, if I'm in the midst of a maelstrom or if I've just lost control altogether. Savvy? ;-{D~

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Are you doing what you imagined you would be when you were a kid? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But I was a kid so many long moons ago I can't for the life of me imagine what in the blazes I WOULDA thought I'd be doing now.

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Can the media be neutral in reporting AND still endorse a candidate? Are they still credible after they come out for their candidate? I am thoroughly disgusted by the bias of the media today! This smoke and mirrors way of sweeping "THEIR" candidates questionable behavior, associations, and background while holding the opponents ever breath and move under a microscope and dissecting it in every negative way they can destroys the very fabric of what this nation is founded on and it's principles.

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Does anyone on AB find stained glass art breathtaking? I've seen some that is truly astonishing to gaze upon. But sadly I haven't seen any that was even remotely pretty in a long time.

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How many of you are known by your avatar? I MAY be, but more likely from my screenname, which although not entirely unique those who have been here for any length of time seem to know me or know of me. This is why I found it very offensive when someone recently tried to use my pen name from here as part of a personal attack on a uniquely disturbed individual whose psychotic paranoia knows no bounds, and is already under the...

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Do you think 'pop stars' should not be allowed to sing the National Anthem at sporting events, just leave it to people who know and can sing the Anthem? Great question! I believe it should be sung from the heart as one who believes the words and what it stands for and sings it as it was meant to be sang. I hate when I hear it slaughtered by some pop-diva trying to do her(/his) own "interpretation" for personal attention and gain. I'd much rather hear it sung by a member of the U.S. Armed Forces who offer up themselves for what...

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Would you rather learn that your child is an athiest or is gay? Why? I would prefer gay. Gay happy and full of life. While I respect others choice to believe as they see fit, it would trouble me to know that my own offspring could be so closed minded as to look at all the miracles and wonders of the Universe and not comprehend that while we may never in this life fully understand it, there MUST be a grand design for all of this and it's not just some...

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My dear sweet friend Rollie, his son passed away last night, so he will not be on for awhile. Would you please give Rollie some words of Comfort while he is going through this? These things always leave me at such a lose for words... My heartfelt deepest condolences to you Rollie, it's never fair for a parent to have to endure such a tragic loss. I hope your faith can see you through this and help you to truly believe that your son is indeed at peace now, and to help insure that peace you must, albeit painfully, look for ways to except this and move on to a...

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Do you support the 'no miniskirts past age 30' unwritten rule? Not in the least by any stretch of the imagination! As I've stated in the past, "I LOVE skirts!"(see http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1116448 ) If ya got it FLAUNT IT! However, there are many under the age of 30 that have NO BUSINESS in a mini-skirt, but they OUGHT to know who they are, savvy?

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If you could pick your own parents, would you choose the ones you have? Overall I'd have to answer yes, they made me who I am. But there are and sure have been times I coulda traded them for what is behind door #3.

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How many of you would not mind kissing me on the lips? Just a sort of peck I mean. No offense Zack, but I'm gonna pass on that. I could give ya a brief "guy-hug" if ya really need it though. But I draw the line at kissing another guy on the mouth, sorry.

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Do you really give a f*ck? More often than not, but it might not show as much as I do. On the other hand there are plenty of instances when I really DON'T with very sound reason.

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Wanna put a Brain in the White House? (See Video) I'm all for finally getting some brains there and in Washington in general. And I'd be ALL over that if not for my already endorsing another great candidate for said office...

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Grandpa wants to know how to remove nicotine from fingers? Quit smoking first, then wash hands regularly for several years. Perhaps the same number of years as smoking was a habit.

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Does your ability to be compassionate and understanding fade when you are on Answerbag? On the contrary, I find more often than not, when deserved, my compassion and understanding increases greatly.

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1st thing that comes to mind when i say THE ADAMS FAMILY !!!! The spoof of the theme song that goes; ♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪<da da da dum><da da da dum>(finger snap)♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪ The Adams family started When Uncle Fester farted They all became retarded THE ADAMS FAMILY!!♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪(snap snap)

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How often do you think about your deceased loved ones? I think about my father in some way just about every day and hope somehow he feels the respect I fear I never showed him as much as he deserved in life.

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What makes you cry in movies? Probably more often than I'd care to admit. Mostly when someone selflessly puts their own life on the line for others in a truly heroic way.

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Have you ever had a fantasy of Bathing in something? I've always wanted to Bath Melted chocolate :D I'm thinking champagne would be nice. Molten chocolate sounds painful to me but to each their own.

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If the levels on AB were named after food, what would be your food level? Alaskan King Crab A bit of effort to get to but worth every bit.

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Please will you share with me your favorite piece of art depicting a sea going vessel? What a GREAT question, and glad to be of service, but I've got so many and it's too hard for me to pic just one. So I submit to you this minor collection. Some of the best ones I've got on my computer are animated GIFs and we all no doubt know how useless those are on AB aside from perhaps in the profile page.

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I saw my friend's boyfriend hit her and broke her nose..then I jumped in and beat the boyfriend up.. was I wrong for this? Not in the least.

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As of today October 18, 2008 where do you stand on McCain vs Obama. Please list your candidate and state of residence. As a current legal resident of WI who has moved to and intends to become a legal resident of LA, but with so little time before the election I shall be voting absentee from my WI residence as this is FAR too important of an election to permit some red tape to keep me from my duty, to elect a good man as president; John McCain and his running-mate,(a GOOD woman!!!) Sara Palin. I feel that...

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Do you belive that Jesus and God are One entity? (I do) Yes I do but I also believe we are all just a small part of a greater Universe more vast than any human mind can even begin to comprehend, and that frightens and intimidates most, and causes some to live in total denial of the remarkable miracles that are in abundance around them.

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Name a social event that impacted the 1970's significantly. In 1977 Jimmy Carter took office as what was then the most embarrassing president in our history(This of COURSE preceded Bill Clinton.) He gave us; 12% inflation 21% interest rates And a stalemate of a hostage crisis due to his "outstanding foreign policy and negotiating skills" which left 52 U.S. diplomats were held hostage for 444 days from November 4, 1979 to January 20,...

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What about the website or people on this website do you hate the most? I hate the most the way uploading images went from a fairly simple task early on to a complete hit or miss if it will work at ALL! If I see "Could not generate a thumbnail of an animated gif." or a complete lockup of my computer, or pictures that show as they were posted only to find out they never did I may honestly SCREAM! Very few people do I actually outright HATE here, most...

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What color is your underwear? Uh, would you believe Black boxers with white skull&crossbones on 'em? I suppose I COULD back this one up with proof if necessary?

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Ronald McDonald or Ronald Reagan? I gotta go with the Gipper; Ronald Reagan. Who ever needed Jimmy Carter anyway? He was a major embarrassment THEN and remains one today.

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Would you rather live in the city or the country? Country life fer me. The city leaves a bad taste in my mouth in more ways than one.

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Do you have pictures of your halloween costumes? Please post. I've tried and tried to answer this one with a very old pick of a costume of mine and although I was first trying to post a JPEG image I got "Could not generate a thumbnail of an animated gif." Then I converted said JPEG to PNG format, same;"Could not generate a thumbnail of an animated gif." WTF? No worries though, it wa'n't THAT great of a pic.

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What do you want from me?! What have ye got? And what might ye be willin ta part with lad?

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Do you have pictures of your halloween costumes? Please post. Rats! I have a very brief few I was trying to post but AB is under the impression they are animated gifs even though they aren't and won't let me play along. It's just as well though they aren't my best stuff by a long stretch, just ones I happen to have on here.

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Is God really here? He is only *there* if you let Him be. He is everywhere, but not one to force Himself on you if you are unwilling to except Him. THAT is why He gave us all free will I admit there are times I myself shut Him out and definitely shouldn't, for my own good and those I care most for, but that is yet another thing that makes us human.

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May I see your manboobs? Well ok, moobs fine, but it'll cost ya to see the mooseknuckle.

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When was the last time you visited a circus or the zoo? As for a circus it was longer ago than I remember, my father was a Shriner, so as a lad I typically got to go to the Shrine Circus. As for a zoo I'm told the local one is nice but it's been maybe 7-8 years since I was last in one; The Milwaukee Zoo. Does a rather large aquarium count? On the weekend of this last 4th of July I was at the aquarium in New Orleans. It was truly...

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I'm feeling really down today :( Can someone tell me something funny? TWENTY EIGHT LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out...

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What factors determine your favorite team in a given sport? (would you also mind stating your favorite and the corresponding sport?) I've always been one to root for the hometown team. Back in the days when baseball was still a respectable sport, long before "juicing" and the pansy-asses striking to earn more millions of dollars per year for playing a game for a living and getting a good bit of the year as time off, my hometown Milwaukee Brewers were my favorite team and sport by a long stretch. I was...

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Is Tom Cruise a douchebag? Yes I think he is a MAJOR douchebag, and I trust NO one from the church of Scientology.

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What is your favorite animated image? Oh Good Lord!!!!! So many to choose, so MANY to choose... Whilst I have about a bazillion I'd love to submit here, one truly embodies the true me; Capt. Jack Sparrow->>>>>

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Who are you wearing ? fox, mink, jaguar, dog etc. I dont think the animal rights activists in jail would approve of everything you wear. Wat u think? I mostly only wear natural fibers and cow skin, although I once had a really cool lambskin leather jacket a long while back that was stolen. As for activists who don't approve I couldn't give two sh*ts what they think, it's not their problem. I'm a firm believer in PETA- the People Eating Tasty Animals version. If God hadn't intended to have us eat meat I...

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Why do the Jehovah's Witnesses go from door to door? While I do think it is plenty overbearing and obnoxious, at least they aren't slaughtering non-believers like Muslim extremists. I guess it is just their way of feeling they are serving their Lord as they believe. Ignore them entirely and they WILL go away.

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First thing that comes to mind when i say "wonders of the world"? Women

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What was your favorite movie starring Paul Newman? It has GOT to be a three way tie for me, although he was a fine actor in everything I ever saw him in. Cool Hand Luke Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid The Sting (In order of release dates) ..and face it, what would Disney/Pixar's Cars have been without Doc Hudson?

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Wouldn't these make good pets? AB-solutely! Nothing more terrifying than an ill tempered mutated Sea Bass, aside from perhaps a Krakken.

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What would you do if you opened your front door and you came face to face with a wild BeaR? If it's my wild friend Mommabear I'd give her a big ol' bear hug and gush about how much I and others have missed her. Those NOT in agreement BTW can just f'ing STOW IT! Savvy?

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Why is the country's largest and oldest women's rights organization supporting Obama-Biden instead of McCain-Palin? For the same brainwashed reason the then president of N.O.W. insisted that the P.O.S. Bill Clinton;sexual predator was the best candidate at the time to improve the rights of the womens movement. It has been painfully obvious to me and most of the think for yourself non-lemming crowd to see that Hillary already had two terms as president while her puppet of a "more charming" husband...

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Nelson - Jetpacking from bed passed away early Saturday, September 6th of liver failure. His family is asking that you sign up as an organ donor as a tribute to him. Since this should be a question, what would you want others to do as a tribute to you? Nelson, ol' friend, you will be sorrily missed. A kind and caring soul such as yourself earns a place with eternal peace and happiness, go with God, Sir. I remember fondly how Nelson hoped to unite the factions of pirate and ninja at "the Great Prime Equatoridian Divide" where we would as one stake our claim to this point in the name of AnswerBagdome. This kind of...

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Happy Birthday Sugar-licious! Y'all come 'round and join the party, ya hear? OOOOOPS!!!!! And of course... HAPPY BIRTHDAY Beautiful!!! Love, Yours truly Jack ;-{D~

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So I just realized that your profile is in HTML format and that you can design your personal profile on here. AWESOME... Did anyone else know that..? Well, a while back we had a very kind and friendly person who I won't name,(LOOOONG story, sorry)that used to have a very artistic flare towards designing, and after picking up some hints, tips and pointers from a few others, used to sweetly volunteer long painstaking hours into custom designing profile pages for a great many members here all for the joy of doing it and just for the...

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Do you think it's okay to get a baby's ears pierced? I think it is ridiculous and disgusting to do to a baby. I saw a young redneck couple in line at the local Walmart recently, and the two them looked like they would be lucky to have a combined I.Q.in the double digits. They had a beautiful baby that appeared to be no more than a newborn.(She HAD to be adopted!) The precious little darling had fresh starter posts in her ears. I hope to GOD...

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A couple of days ago I heard that Susan Sarandon will renounce her USA citizenship and leave the country if McCain is elected. Michael Moore may also join her crusade. What are your thoughts? I would be thrilled to assist her in packing her bags and making certain she gets a one way ticket and makes her plane. It kinda actually reminds me of a not exactly related joke... A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window..The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's...

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Imagine that while passing by on a walk, you see another adult kick their dog - hard. What would you do? I'd probably not even hesitate to offer the same kick right back at the perpetrator.

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How important is it to you to have your own unique thing that you don't share with your partner (say girl's night out, guy's poker night for example)? Not so all fired important, I do get a tad lonely at times, but other times a tad bit does help get perspective and focus back.

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If you inadvertently found a phone number in your partner's pocket what would you do? What'd ya find Sugar? hmmm?

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Who else out there is poor besides me? Moi, most definitely.

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Are you voting in the United States presidential election, scheduled for Tuesday November 4, 2008? Yup, wild Liberals couldn't stop me without high caliber weapons, which, fortunately they seem apposed to.

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Are there as many sex positions as there are different strokes for different folks? I believe as long as a couple has a vivid imagination and a thirst to try new things the possibilities are endless. This video shows a few of my personal favorites... This site illustrates an even better assortment. http://www.kamasutra-sex.org/kama-sutra-positions/index.html

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How in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks do you use a bidet? I look at that thing and wonder how "dirty" water doesn't splash all over you, your clothes, and the general area. THAT sir is a very good question! The manner in which some leave the usual porcelain thrown leaves me to wonder how disgusting that receptical might become without constant cleaning attention.

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Is Noam Chomsky a hypocrite for calling the US Pentagon the most hideous institution on Earth and all the while making thousands of dollars or more off of contracts with the Pentagon? He sure is in my book. I'm no Saint by any stretch of the imagination, however blatant hypocrisy makes my blood boil, and to me this is a text-book case.

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Pot Smokers, How do you prefer to smoke your bud [pipe, bong, joint, other]? Order of preference based on top quality weed; 1)Joint 2)Bong 3)Gravity Bong {Requires healthy lungs, but gives a helluva bang for the buck!} 4)pipe(although it IS my most common method of smoking pot) 5) Killer Brownies (the highest I ever got off of weed, but expensive and semi-wasteful) 6)Shots of pot*(*a little known way of smoking weed that requires a "power-hitter", ...

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Well, the 2008 Olympics have finished, - did you enjoy them? which sport was your favourite? I saw little to none of it. Now if they spiced it up a tad they mighta got my attention...

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Do you think there is other worlds besides ours? I am certain there are other worlds, it's proven fact. I'm also very much convinced, that in the vastness of this universe, there is MORE probability that the basic building blocks of life or life forms can be found than the possibility that this infinitesimally small speck of sand we call Earth is the only planet with life on it. As for intelligent life? Who knows? In the...

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It's time for breakfast... What are you gonna have? Strong coffee and a cigarette

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Do you agree with this new poll by AOL Radio & Spinner.com that lists the top 5 worst songs... Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice She Bangs - Ricky Martin Barbie Girl - Aqua U Can’t Touch This - MC Hammer Those do cause me a headache and nausea, so I would tend to agree. However if I tortured myself long and hard enough I'm sure I could think of worse than one of those, but I ain't gonna go there.

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How many people this past year have you found out not to be a true friend to you? At least three or four minimum.

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Have you ever flashed your boobs to a group of people? I often leave my "bitch-titties" out all day long.

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Hey you....Yea you hop on over here and say hello will ya? Hello

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Little Miss Dangerous has been unconscious all day...is there no Prince Charming of AB to wake me? I'm no prince, but how do you feel about pirate breath? Perhaps there is more to me than meets the eye?

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Are you ready for the upcoming total Obama-nation, or will you stand with me to stop it? Here is one of my biggest beefs with the Senator; Hello everyone, As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass along that Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visit to "The War Zone". I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off the plane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with the Major...

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Do you know what is meant by the term "post-turtle"? Subject: Post turtle While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'.' Not being...

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Which two animals would you like to be able to breed together to make one strange hybrid? Ya know what comes to mind first there? Spaceballs and the late great John Candy as the Mog. But then again, since the mog is it's own best friend, there might be a better mix for a person to benefit from... There was also a short lived and all but forgotten kids TV show back in the Drug addled 70's(at least judging from the things they aimed at kids) Called The Lost Saucer. ...

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Should there be any shame in admitting that I am proud to be a white man. *The following is cut and pasted from an Email I received, I apologize it is NOT in my own simple words. If you have issue with that, then tell me so. It says what I feel, just the way I would like to express it, so I'm leaving at is. If you have issue with the problem it is addressing then to be honest, I think you are a hypocrite. But a great man once said; "Well opinions are...

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Why do most people hate hip-hop/rap music? In my case it just gives me a frickin' headache. It's lame, annoyingly repetitive, seems to require little to NO talent, just a lame put-on thug-wanna-be attitude.

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Do you know what an "Australian Kiss" is? Know what it means, HELL YES! I even have the T-shirt! An Aussie kiss is just like a French kiss only Down Under.

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Do we have time for an Email? Home Depot customer My Friends, I give you "THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!" This picture is real - not doctored in any way - and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures. Read on.................. The car is...

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Obama preaches a lot about the cost of oil and how we need to lower consumption to lower demand. Don't you think that he should practice what he preaches and should fly a commercial airline instead of a chartered 757? Can you say Hypocrite? Hypocrite! There I said it and have many times for a great many people just like Obama. Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy, The Clintons, Harry Reid, John Edwards, John Kerry etc. need I continue?

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When you think of Louisiana, whats the first thing that comes to mind? Sugar

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What is the time where you live? 7:20 pm Central Standard time

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Is a sexy woman tried to strip in front of you, what would you do? Enjoy the show

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If you were walking in an alley and found Osama Bin Laden bleeding to death, would you call the paramedics or finish him off? Well the authorities wouldn't know when I arrived for certain right? So I could wait him out and ask him if he felt justified in what he'd done to so many innocent civilians. Oh and I'd point out that the 72 virgins Allah was about to reward him with are big burly and manly pent up prison inmates looking to bust his cherry. then as he breathed his last I'd 911 for my...

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What brand is your mouse that you are using right now? Some crappy ol' cheap-assed Memorex optical two button with the glowing red wheel that adds a third button when clicked. Not my fist choice by far but my budget is tight for now.

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Let me hear some funky dixieland and play some good old classic rock favorites from The Doobie Brothers, Kansas, Boston, The Eagles, Heart and the many other awesome bands that had great harmonies and outstanding music. What do you say? Post videos I've been diggin' THIS Kid Rock one since I first heard it. I keep hearing folks mistaking it for Sweet Home Alabama for obvious reasons if y'all with give it a listen? ALL SUMMER LONG-Kid Rock

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The lovely SWEETCAKES has just made GURU!!!! who would like to come to her party?? congratulations sweetie!!!! Dangtit!!! late again? Congrats Sweetcakes!

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Do you think making 100000 points in AB is an easy Job? But Sweet T has done it ....Who would like to cheer her? Well done T!

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Should the gossip magazines be allowed to invade the privacy of celebrities so much? The thing is that some of the most pathetic and desperate Celebs depend on the papar-nazis to keep them current and noticed like that train-wreck Brittany or Paris who as far as I know has no talent aside from being a slut. Some decent and talented folk DO get bothered more than they deserve, but if they can't take the heat they needs to step out o' the kitchen. Not fair but the...

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If there were an actual fantasy island, would you like to visit there? Sure but I'd try to avoid the greed and avarice that tends to make most of the guests there regret their stay.

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Will you type just your name in an answer so that people can comment and guess how many times you've been in the Penalty Box on here? Capt. Jack Sparrow

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Clint Eastwood go must have about a 1,000 good lines from his movies. One of my favorites is "Go ahead-Make my day !" Can you name one and the movie it came from? From another Dirty Harry-Sudden Impact; Harry Callahan: We're not just going to let you walk out of here. Crook: Who's "we", sucker? Harry Callahan: Smith, and Wesson, and me.

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Clint Eastwood go must have about a 1,000 good lines from his movies. One of my favorites is "Go ahead-Make my day !" Can you name one and the movie it came from? From The Outlaw Josey Wales- Josey Wales: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

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Clint Eastwood go must have about a 1,000 good lines from his movies. One of my favorites is "Go ahead-Make my day !" Can you name one and the movie it came from? ...another classic... Harry Callahan: When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

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Clint Eastwood go must have about a 1,000 good lines from his movies. One of my favorites is "Go ahead-Make my day !" Can you name one and the movie it came from? My all time favorite Clint Eastwood line is; "Yeah? Well opinions are like assholes, everybody has one." . VERY apprapo for the AnswerBag group. Quote from Dirty Harry-The Dead Pool 1971

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Do you ever come across someone who answers a marriage ? but is not married, or who answers a parenting ? but does not have children....why do these people think they are informed to answer these types of questions? I have, and I get your point, however they may still have gained insight from life experience that may prove helpful to someone. . I don't have to hold my hand in a fire to tell you it is hot.

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What's the first song that comes to mind for U2? I'll take the berating I no doubt deserve for this, but here goes... When this song came out it got so ridiculously TOO TOO much airplay where I live I grew nauseous of it and spoofed the lyrics to be...(wait for it)... . WHERE THE SHEEP HAVE NO SHAME ♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪BAAAAH means NOOO! BAAAAAAH means NOOO!♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪ <ducks down reflexively from angry mob...

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Ever wish that single people had a symbol that says "I'm available - ask me" the way that married people have the ring that says "I'm taken - look elsewhere"? What symbol should it be? Why not say it with T-shirts?

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Should we have an Answerbag pirates club or does one already exist, me hearties? Ah yes the brethren court! Ne'er has such a band of cutthroats and scallywags assembled the likes of this bunch. If not fer the code they'd no doubt devour each other like cuttlefish.

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What do you look like naked, August 2008? Here ya go....

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How does one drink Irish Whiskey? One shot at a time...

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If you were pudding, what flavor would you be? Tapioca

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What program can i use to make the layouts you see on myspace? I'm not all that savvy on the do-it-yourself programs but there are a bevy of sights that have rather easy to add graphics and add-on doo-dads. Satisfaction, Pimpmyspace and Hostdrjack are but three of them.

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Have you ever had a Buckeye before? No I don't think I've ever been with a girl from Ohio. . ;-{D~

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Our resident Southern belle, Misstarrie, is now a Maestro!! Will you help me in congratulating a great AB'er? Well how in the heck did I miss this one? Well done Misstarrie and congratulations on your well deserved new title!!!

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! A Simple Test Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Conservative??? Here is a little test that will help you decide. Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Conservative? The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic...

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Do we have time for an Email? Subject: 7 Reasons Not To Mess w/Children A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not...

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! Lost In Translation... An Asian man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Asian man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The Asian man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less...

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! Divorced and Drunk A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she...

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Apparently AB's own The Chief has become scholarly enough to earn the rank of Professor, so would you care to join me in a congratulation party in his honor? Him Chief, want big fire! HAIL TO THE CHIEF! Way to go Chief!!!! Is that Chief Professor or Professor Chief? . Ya know I was once Chief of the Pelegosto tribe, but they took "eat me!" just a little too seriously.

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! Camoflauge Clothing There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At...

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! Top 10 Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women #10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22... #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on-the-road... #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times... #7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup... ...

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Can you tell a good joke that will make everyone laugh? If yes, go ahead - put it in writing! CATHOLIC SCHOOL Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look...

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Should we set phasers to maximum? Maximum and full spread

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Set phasers to stun? Heavy stun I believe. but it's not too effective on cursed pirates, the undead in general or the Krakken

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Steak or seafood? Yes!

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Have you got a name you call your car? What is it? I have jokingly referred to my to my cars(all of them for some time) as; The Millennium Falcon The Black Pearl The Enterprise(rarely) The Defiant ...and "this hunk of junk!"

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What should your first name been? He's had a few names throughout, depending on the female I was`involved with at the time....

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What is your first memory of Morgan Freeman as an actor? Ya know my first thought was it was`on Sesame Street, but then it occurred to me it was the kids show The Electric Company. MAN that was a loooooooong time ago.

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What is a good romantic song? I Don't Want To Miss A Thing-Aerosmith Video featuring the most romantic moments of Disney movies.

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What is a good romantic song? I Need You -duet by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw It reminds me of a certain special someone...

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What was the last type of juice you had? Pineapple, while I love it straight this instance was in my new favorite drink; Monster Energy Drink's new flavor M-80. they are awesome by themselves but even better with Seagram's 7 Crown whiskey in it.

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Americans, what do you think about The Lord Messiah Obama saying we don't need to worry about immigrants learning to speak english, "we should be worried about our kids learning spanish."? I think it is typical sell out type of rhetoric from him and exactly why I fear him gaining the office even more than Billary again. And Lord knows y'all have heard me give THAT rant enough.

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Hey, how's it going? Would you like to have a drink with me? Oh PUULEEEEEEASE! Moi? Make mine an Iced tea, I'm driving..... Down the road for fixin's for LONG ISLAND ICED TEAS! Comin' over?

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Then what shall we die for? Well as of right NOW I'm dying for a really good strong drink! But I'd just as soon lay my life on the line for innocent and decent folk who wouldn't stand a chance otherwise. But without question for the friends and family I've known to stick with me trough thick and thin and never gave me any reason to question their loyalty and commitment especially to what is right,...

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Anyone know the REAL reason they call it Generation Y?I'll give you a bit to ponder it, then explain my version below, later, ok? The picture below I think describes it to a 'T' But the video elaborates on it...>>>

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Without a doubt, the most honorable human trait? Integrity, without that we are all just lemmings.

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Do you do "all niters" when it comes to Answerbag? Yup probably more times than was good for me when I shoulda been catching up on zzzz's for work.

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Do you not like me. Have you ever seen me on here Before? Hi, I've not seen you till just now, but a few of my friends have posted here, so I'll just say welcome aboard for now, but no doubt we could be friends if you'd like. I'm a tad controversial to some, but mostly harmless. If you don't find my somewhat "spicy" sense of humor offensive let me know, if you do just move along and I'll try not to bother you....

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Where would you like to run away to? I just did to B.R. LA from the bloody frozen tundra of WI.

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When was the last time you used the "F" word? All too often, and no doubt at least under my breath within the last hour.

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Can you give an example in which "less is more" holds true? Arguments.

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What comes to mind when I say "over easy"? From the song Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirate's Life For Me The line about really Bad Eggs.

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Do your grandparents own a computer ? Would you be shocked if they were also AB'ers? Considering that my grandparents have all been dead for quite a while now, YES I'd be completely freaked out. My dear ol' Mum doesn't even own a computer and is sadly scared to death of the Internet. And my Pop has been dead since 1986.

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Do you like the smell of rain? I really do

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Do you curse out loud when driving alone? with passengers? Yes and yes, but I try a helluva lot harder with ladies or kids in the car, especially kids.

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What do you think of when I say "Brett Faaavra" IMHO the greatest Quarterback of all time but it seems as though my team has lost him for good so I'll have a lot more free time to do things on Sunday now. ;-{<~

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What is your favorite fruit flavored soda? Cherry or lemon/lime

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I'm drinking alone...do you think there is a problem with that? Or would you like to join me? If you're not drinking to drink yourself to death then have at it. Especially if you just think you need to be alone with your thoughts and take the edge off. But if you would like the company I'm ALL in!!! Bottoms up!!!

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I am in the mood for a new song... suggestions? I'm rather fond of this li'l diddy from Kid Rock. Lately I can't get it out of my head. All Summer Long

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Do you like short shorts? As most of my fellow male colleagues have mentioned here, it is MUCH preferable on the lasses. HOWEVER obviously not ALL lasses, and in this stupid day and age when what the fashion scene tries to pass off as shorts are more like friggin' capri pants even for dudes. I find that the sadly rotund younger generation who have more to hide it seems with their pathetic lazy lifestyles, seem...

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Is insecurity a problem in your life? Yes it really is, sadly. Definitely more for myself than I'd really care to admit to, but I shoot for total honesty here. And then of course there is all the people in my life who will out of seemingly no where have insecurity issues out of the blue. I guess with myself having the issues it is only right I should understand and expect it from others just as much as from myself. But it...

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I'm feeling ignorant, cast your pearls of wisdom upon me? There is an age-old saying;"Never fry bacon naked." To me it makes perfect sense.

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Hey gang, some of us are about to embark on a weekend of drunken debauchery floating down a river. But provided we survive, I'm off to begin the grandest adventure of my life starting over in what is to me a mysterious land. Will you wish me luck? I'm not sure if you'll all stop to read this or not, but I do appreciate all the well wishes. Since I'm packin' it all in to be on my way it'll be some time before I'm Online again to respond here. so till we meet again pleasant voyages to you all!

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What color is your bathing suit? Black with a big multi-color image of my colleague; Captain Morgan posing for one of his rum ads.

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I have a new teddy bear. Can you help me think of a name for it? Er, um,..Jack? ;-{D~

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How would you describe Captain Jack Sparrow's fondness for rum? Unquenchable

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Zombie Apocalypse! AB has managed to find secure ground in the mountains, and we're all safe, have enough food and water and means to fight back. However, we need to keep fighting and working and plan the rebirth of humanity. What part will you play? I'll handle procreating, sound good?

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? Once Upon A Time In White Chicks

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? A Midsummer Night's Booty Call

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? Peggy Sue Got Knocked Up

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? Sounds like a Cheech and Chong flick, but Air Bud and Thank You For Smoking= Thank You For Smoking Bud

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? Liar Liar and An Inconvenient Truth. An Inconvenient Liar

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Will you combine two movie titles to form a new comical title? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid go to White Castle.

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What is a song that once you hear it, you can never get it out of your head? Lately it's been All Summer Long by Kid Rock.

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What's it like in Davey Jones' locker? desolate and lonely. (aside from all the facets of my own warped mind)

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A Texas man tries to cash a 360 billion dollar check, is this because they always do it bigger in Texas? http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/050108dnmetbillion.b623795f.html Well money isn't everything some say, but I'd give it a shot. Perhaps if you enlarge the pic below by clicking on it it might become clearer.

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Every once and a while someone extra special graces the pages of Answerbag. One of those people has just become a level 50! Will you join me in congratulating a 10sEn for becoming a Sage? Many congrats 10sEn, I must confess yer screen name while very clever had me a tad confused at first. Nice work and good bagging Sir! <Salute> Hell take my Maestro-card and get yerself a little sumthin from the Sillyville store in honor of yer new status, savvy?

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The Beatles or The Stones? Stones fer me! Not to mention dad's in the band! LOL

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What do you remember most about level 49? There was rum involved, I know that much... <looks puzzled>

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Can you read Military time? I can but there are certain times it takes me a bit to translate it in my mind. It'd be different if I'd needed to use it regularly. Like if I'd not lost my Air Force ride before it started when I was medically DQed a week before boot camp because of one lousy GD kidney stone.

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What are some good U.S. rock groups that don't come from the bigger, more traditional music markets? (L.A., N.Y., etc.) Most of 'em! Aerosmith-Boston Massachusetts Kid Rock-Detroit Michigan

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The AB Drive-In is now open for Monday Mix. Today, we are having a Johnny Depp Marathon; will you stop by and share your favorite clips and comments? Below, Arizona Dream: Depp you say? Can't say I know the scallywag. But will THIS do? Har Har!

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Would you put Ketchup on salmon? HEEEEEELL NO!

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I go on holiday to visit you what country am I going to? The good ol' United States Of America!

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If you could change your career, would you? If so, what to? Immediate success you say? Well then no doubt in my mind at all... Action Movie Star, like some of my greatest heroes; Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Will Smith, Sean Connery, Nick Cage, Viggo Mortenson, Brandon Frasier, Johnny Depp(well I HAD to right?), and of course the masters such as Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin, and John Wayne. I'm certain I could go on, and I'm sure...

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50 years ago today President Eisenhower signed the National Aeronautics and Space Act. Would you like to join me in celebrating 50 years of reaching for the stars to better understand the cosmos? Happy 50th NASA And thanks for all the common everyday household goods and such that people take for granted and don't realize their origins. Maybe someday experiments in space might lead to other tremendous breakthroughs in science and medicine. Who knows what discoveries lie ahead if we keep looking to the stars?

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Do we have time for an Email? Since occasionally we have to have them!! FUNNY - THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.... . A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has...

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Has anyone ever made you so mad on the other end of the phone that you've wished you could travel down the phone line , grab them by the throat, and choke the life right out of them? Oh HELL yes!

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What was that? Oh, sorry! That was just me sobbing for the state of the world today. I apologize for disturbing you, I'll try to keep it to myself. Have a nice day! ;-{D~

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Do we have time for an Email? THE RCMP OFFICER A Mountie stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The 'Motorist' instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather...

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Do we have time for an Email? Subject: Post turtle While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'.' Not being...

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Do we have time for an Email? Towards the end a day at the golf course, Bruce hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden . . POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to...

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Do we have time for an Email? http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/sendler.asp The prize doesn't always go to the most deserving--see below and you will see why: Irena Sendler (pictured) There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW what the...

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Do we have time for an Email? The state of our educational system today!! Wal-Mart Cake It took me a second, but make sure you read the story under the picture. Keep in mind this actually really did happen. This is someone who was moving from an insurance claims office. Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went: Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?' ...

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Prove to me you are not a figment of my imagination. Arguments against soliphism say that for language to develop there must be two people. But couldn't your mind create language itself by talking to the figments of its imagination? I shall not squander precious time debating this issue with you, who are clearly not but a mere figment of MY imagination. I mean to what point and purpose would that serve, really?

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Which way you going Jack? If pirates are gathering, I'm pointing my ship in the other direction...

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As a Pirate, do you attack with pistol in left hand & saber in right hand, or vice versa? I can shoot ok with either but am more coordinated with my left as far as wielding a sword. So sword in left and pistol in the right.

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China has censored part of the latest instalment of hit Hollywood movie "Pirates of the Caribbean" for "vilifying and defacing the Chinese", the official Xinhua news agency said on Friday. For those who have seen it, would you say that it did or did not? I would say it is ridiculous, there isn't an effort I see in it to cast any aspersions on the Chinese in general. This is as pathetic as the Russians claiming the movie Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is trying to re-ignite the Cold-war.

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What is the Pirate code? The code is the law. That's what my pappy would say. He wasn't much for long detailed explanations; Captain Teague. While some feel the code might be more like just guidelines, others will stop at nothing to enforce such laws and see to it that a level a level of law is maintained among the lawless. Here are some interesting sites on the subject; ...

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If you could have a compass that pointed to whatever your heart desired most, where would it direct you toward and what would it be? First of all you gotta finagle it away from Captain Jack though. MY COMPASS! While I DO like the way you worded it, I'd basically already asked this question.

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What is the Pirate code? The code is the law. That's what my pappy would say. He wasn't much for long detailed explanations; Captain Teague. While some feel the code might be more like just guidelines, others will stop at nothing to enforce such laws and see to it that a level a level of law is maintained among the lawless. Here are some interesting sites on the subject; ...

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What did Elizabeth Swann/Turner say to Will when she saw him the second 10 years of him being off as the new Captain of the Flying Dutchman? I don't know what Elizabeth said, but Will asked why her breath was as bad as Jack's!

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Do you know the Black Pearl originally had another name? I did, she was The Wicked Wench. I found it out a while back and I just love the telling of the tale from this site: http://pirates.wikia.com/wiki/Jack_Sparrow Here be an excerpt from said site that tells the tale- "We've had dealings in the past. And we've each left our mark on the other." ―Cutler Beckett to William Turner Following his teenage...

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No, what arrr you doing? What are YOU doing? My ship, makes me Captain!

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If you saw a sign that said, "Ninja/Pirate Help Wanted, apply on board" ... would you submit an application? So long as the position to apply for was pirate Captain, sure, why not?

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Do you feel intimidated by AB members that have a high all time points tally? Not so much, just disgusted by some peoples apparent need to cheat to get there.

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AB offical radio station is now open for requests would you like to request a song to anybody here on AB ? :) It's Three-fer Thursday, right? To Sugar-licious With all my Love, Jack

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First thing that comes to mind when I say "Slippery When Wet"? Me, buried to the hilt in a fine-assed lass.

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Time for a smoke break, Who else is coming? It's always 4:20 somewhere! PPG! M'er F'er

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Which arcade game(the real full size stand-up ones) do you most want to have at your house? Tempest, it gets a little old and repetitive but I used to love it. also Outrun and 1942 the video game. Among others...

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I scream, you scream, eh what are we screaming at? Ultra-liberals and lemming far-Left-wingers to put down the Kool-aid and think for themselves for once!

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Would you join a gym if they paid you for your labor and you pushed and pulled your potential energy converting it to electricity on future exercise equipment? SURE!!!!!!

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I am at level 69. How many of you honestly enjoyed level 69 and could care less if you went on to 70? ;) Well I've always been partial to 69! Have you ever heard of a 68? Blow me and I'll owe ya one. Or a 71? 69 with two fingers up yer bum.

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Do you notice how sometimes your old questions sometimes "reappear" and suddenly get answered by a cluster of people at the same time, when you haven't seen anyone answer them since you first posted them long ago? Odd, huh? Summer re-runs? I know exactly what you mean, could it be a writer's strike?

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I'm packing up and moving to Texas for a couple months, to clear my head and rediscover the direction my life needs to be headed. Then I will be moving back to Indiana. Has anyone else just packed up and left like that for similar reasons? I'm giving extremely serious thought to just the same kind of major life change. Pleasant sailing in your voyages, lad.

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I find it gross when a man makes noise in bed. Does anybody feel the same? I've been told I'm either too quiet or a major turn on even when when i make a few of the grunts and groans I have blurted out, even when I've been embarrassed by them myself. but if you're a Necrophiliac that is a bit twisted, FYI.

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Does anyone know what this guy is actually saying? I'm gonna go with "NOT a friggin' clue, Jon. Hey when are we gonna be able to post picture questions?

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I'm taking my 10 yr old son on a fishing charter party this weekend. It's our first real big outing like this now that he is older. I'd like for it to be a memory- making experience for us. Will you all wish us luck? Fairest of sailing to thee! May yer catch be plentiful, mate! I'll see if I can't get a word in with Calypso 'bout the weather, her and I are thick as thieves..er,..were..once,..before.

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Who is your favorite gentleman thief of fact or fiction? Uh, Captain Jack Sparrow(?) Have ye never heard the tale(back story)as to how ol' Cap'n Jack was branded a pirate and wound up with a price on 'is 'ead? Whilst under the commission of the East India Trading Co. Jack was ordered to take on slaves as cargo, and was made Captain of the merchant vessel Wicked Wench. Although Jack carried out many jobs on behalf of Cutler...

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Give me more ___________? RUM!!! ...Oh, and of course BOOTY!

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Is it working? What do these error messages tell you?

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Who here has been blued, screwed, and tattooed? Not I! But definitely THIS guy below, Won't he make someone a fine "bride" in prison?...

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What are the chances I can get someone to kiss my booboo (pic below) Slim to none, Ossifer, but pray tell how did you come by such a booboo? I tried to scroll through to see if it was mentioned but you know, short attention span and all. For the sake of decency I decided to forgo the pic of the remains of a fool idiotic enough to put a light firecracker in his ass. No that was a meat-heap you wouldn't even want to kiss it it were unmolested. After the...

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Honestly, what would you do without me? Hmmm, let's not find out, savvy?

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If you had to use only one adjective that you think best describes Obama as a presidential contender, what would it be? Frightening, seems to fit best.

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I have incredimail. all of a sudden one of my friends that has it too cannot get my mail but i can get hers. i can get her mail on Internet Explorer but not incredimail. and my sister's mail comes to me with encoding or something weird. I'm inclined to agree with DixieRock, however is there a chance you might have inadvertently accidentally blocked the person as a sender to you. It can be surprisingly easy to do, considering how smart, intuitive and user friendly the majority of their interface can be. It can be the matter of a minor mouse shift while right-clicking. If you click on the image below you might like one...

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened, what's the hold up?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey,Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10...

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Ginger or Mary Ann? I'm all about the sweet wholesome Mary Ann types. Who needs a slutty gold-digger who'd drop you like a rock when the next bigger sucker comes along?

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Did anyone tell you life would be like this? Most certainly NOT! If they had I'd have made other arrangements.

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Are you a brand loyalist? Mostly, when I can be, especially in colas, since I think Coke(R) is IT and Pepsi is $h*t. And Marlboro probably owes me an iron lung by now with reward points.

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Hello. is it me your looking for? Um,...NO!

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If Pegasus offered you a ride, would you accept? Most assuredly, yes.

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Congratulate me! AnswerBag thinks I have a BRAIN! Congrats

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What are some things that are illegal that might seem strange and arbitrary that most people might not know in the U.S.? The U.K. meaning of "fanny" springs to mind. In the U.S. the majority think of it as only a rump, an arse or butt-cheeks in the tamest sense. Few realize in other places it is a reference to a woman's nether regions.

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Jay or Silent Bob? Gotta be the Bob! You really gotta love the modern day Marcel Marceau of Silent Bob, Jay is just an overly mouthy annoyance for the most part. The type with more to say than thought processes to back it up.

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Anyone have any problems uploading a picture? Mine never uploads to the page the first time I have to "edit" my answer and upload it again, then it will work! Any reason? I have that problem a lot more often than not. It seemed there for a while the problem was steadily growing worse and worse, in most recent attempts however the bug seems not to have lingered as much a previously. Hopefully this means the issue is be looked into and worked on.

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How do you break AB-block? I stare at the screen like its "The Matrix" but........I got nuthin'. I wrote a question based on what I think you must be alluding to somewhat. This ring any bells; http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1799984 I more often than not only get my best inspiration for here when I'm drawn or ought to be elsewhere.(Like in bed for instance.)

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Do you believe that your soul lives on after you die? God I hope so!

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Is it panning out for you? Nay lad, not quite so far but there is a beautiful new horizon dawning just around the corner for me if fate will give me a fighting chance.

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Why do so many questioners allow the answers that they receive go unrated? A fine question to be certain. I believe there might be several reasons. Take me for example, I will admit to some degree of human favoritism. I'm not proud of this, but I have given people I admire and respect points for answers that fall short of giving the best possible and most clear and concise answers. This is often due to my thinking they have brought worthwhile things to the...

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Are high office politicians sellouts to corporate greed and to their nation's need they do not heed? It seems to be the norm on any side of the political fence. That is what makes picking a candidate so difficult. More often than not the only people willing are the people we can least expect to be more concerned with our own interests than their own gain, through special interest pandering.

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Are you a totally fearless person? To be entirely without fear is to be filled with folly. ...so NO!

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I've lost 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks, through eating healthy and exercise. Are you proud of me? Way to go Liz. I could stand to lose that myself lately. Got any tips on what to consider healthy food? My biggest issue, even though I'm not a total junk food junkie all the time. The truly super healthiest foods don't appeal to me in the least. but congrats and keep up the healthy living young "William the 3rd" is gonna need you around a while, savvy?

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Have you ever considered writing a bucket list for yourself? Me personally, I have issue with writing a simple shopping list. To pressure meself into trying to make certain I've done all and seen all I hope to accomplish before the final curtain is far too daunting of a task, to even begin to prioritize. But things like that Morgan Freeman/Jack Nicholson movie and the following video do help us to remember what is truly important in life at times...

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After being cheated on,could you ever be 100% over it, or will it always hurt? It differs for everyone in my opinion. To a great degree it depends on the depth of the relationship with the person. I was played for a complete fool for the better part of two decades, and let me tell you, when I found out it hurt me so incredibly deep down in my soul, I didn't want to go on and wanted to take all involved with me. The hurt and pain was so palpable and constant it...

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How was I supposed to know it was flammable? It was bloody 151 proof rum, what's you expect?

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Why is Captain Jack Sparrow so cool? What else can I say? PIRATE! *Quote from Elizabeth Swann* "But you're Captain Jack Sparrow. You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot." *Quote from the town clerk of Port Royal* Clerk: [reading a proclamation] "Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have... Jack: [standing on the...

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When was your last real kiss? The morning of July 7, 2008 FAR far too early in the morning and rushed for my liking, unfortunately. But I hope to repeat it in a long slow and leisurely manner real soon. But I have a sneaking suspicion it won't be soon enough for my liking by far.

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Should i join Military? answer only in YES or NO. YES! If you respect and honor those who've gone before you to grant you such freedoms as this open-forum website.

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What was the last thing that you brandished? Me Cutlass and me pistol!

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Have you ever had to take a drug test? Yup, even failed one for one of the largest companies in North America, but my qualifications were good enough to get a month of Double-secret probation to piss clean a second time. F'ing hypocrites!!!!

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Who do you think should be president of the US, John McCain or John McClane? Holy Crap! If John McClane were real, not only would he have my vote I'd do a Secret Service detail willing to take a bullet for him. That is one Roy Rogers kinda cowboy that understands how $h*t ought to be. Of course bad luck does seem to follow him everywhere he goes. ...in lieu of that I'll vote for the next best thing in John McCain. YIPPY KIYAY M'ER...

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Other than AB... what is your favorite way to get distracted from whatever it is you think you are supposed to be doing? Yahoo Instant Messenger, that I probably wouldn't even be all that familiar with had I not been for certain AnswerBag friends.

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When a child asks: "But why should I be good?", you say ___________ Because DAMMIT I SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What Star Trek Species are you according to this quiz? http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=2130 Cardassian, with a slight Federation lean

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Do you ever get tired of defending what you believe in? Not at all, but it does get tiresome to see what I truly deeply believe in get tore up and abused by whiny anti-American liberal hater-types.

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How much do you spend on average on a pair of shoes? About 20 bucks

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How will you celebrate the 4th? In beautiful Baton Rouge, LA. My first ever visit to this this lovely part of the country, but hopefully not my last if I can help it.

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What would be written on your AB t-shirt? Got a l'il Cap'n in ya, lass? Would ye be wantin' some?

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Has anyone had any experience with Magic Jack? "Magic" Jack you say? Well I've been called a great many things, (some good some not so) so it is entirely possible, and perhaps not improbable, that I may have been referred to in such a sense. However that having been said, I myself have really only had any real 'experience' with what could best be described as Mad Jack, savvy? Sorry mate.

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Do you trust UNCLE SAM? I DO! And I hope when he manages to free himself from the closet that this current crop of pillow-biting pansy-assed ultra-left-wing liberals has shafted him into, that he kicks some ass and takes some names like Clint Eastwood in Hang 'Em High.

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What's your favorite Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercial? While I tend to be more into the booty and all, my hat is off to Mr. Push-up Bra Inventor. Because nothings says "I got a pair!" like just the right display case. ♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪ My Goodness what a nice rack! ♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫♪

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The Wall or Dark Side of the Moon. Whats your favorite? Oh man, that is like asking which of yer children you prefer. Ok, Dark Side Of The Moon, but damn The Wall was astounding as well, especially the movie. "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like most of us...very hard to explain why your mad, even if you're not mad."<maniacal laughter>-Speak To Me/Breath

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Have you ever driven through a state you couldn't wait to get out of? Which one? Illinois definitely, any time I'm in that God-forsaken state I can't get out of it fast enough.

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I just heard about all the fires in California, were they started by god or by lightning? Why can't it be God using lightening, or just careless c*ck-suckers being irresponsible or arsonists?

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If Mexico is in the G8+5, which means their economy is growing, why do so many still keep immigrating to the US? Well if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it is no doubt a direct result of the criminally corrupt government of Mexico that goes to great lengths to drive their poor away through any means possible, rather than do anything for them. "Hey if those stupid Gringos wanna be all compassionate and give a $h*t about 'em, then let 'em. More to line our own pockets with." ...

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And now may I introduce our newest Guru?...................PARTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Our sweetest ,SWEET T............!!!!!!!!!!!Congratulations my friend!{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} <fanfare and trumpets> Congratulations Sweet T. Don't forget us little guys. I guess you can add Guru to your other list of qualifications, huh?....

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Our pal Scooter has climbed the ladder to level 60! Who would like to help me congratulate him on becoming a Maestro? Congratulations on a job well done, my friend! Ah, welcome to Martyrdom friend, er, Maestrodom, of course! Congrats! I came upon this image,(well figuratively of course!) And thought to myself "Hmm, who do I know who likes scooters, and presumably pretty decor on 'em too?" enjoy...

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What do you think of Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana, as a running mate for John McCain? I'm not all that familiar with Mr. Jindal, but what little I have heard of him makes me very much in favor of him. He sounds like he's done some remarkable things in his political career so far, that really impress the hell out of me.

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What is the most unusual item in your fridge or freezer? Does having Super-glue in the fridge count?

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I have heard a picture is worth a thousand words..can you post me one? Well if you ask me, I think this one literally speaks volumes. Or is that speaks of volumes?

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Do you like honey? What do eat your honey on? I like honey on a lot of things, toast, corn-meal muffins, peanut butter sandwiches, various parts of a woman's anatomy...etc.

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Do you have a mean side? Oh do I ever! I endeavor to keep the beastie at bay, but there are times I just gotta let 'im out and wreak a bit of havoc when things seem out of control.

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Have you ever been in a fallout shelter? Yes, I've been in the basement of some very old and large buildings that were considered to be fall-out shelters. I don't know if they were ever stocked with any type of rations or supplies though.

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So Pluto is no longer considered a planet. I got that much. What is it considered now and why? Well, one might, if one were so inclined, refer to it as a Heavenly Body. But I prefer these examples of that, so tough call.

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Does anyone else love the dramatic little addendums AB users add to their names like "Is gone....." when they are "leaving AB" for whatever reason? (Ya know most of 'em will be back, or at least check in, even if they don't admit to it;) <pouts> Ok FINE, I've had it, No really, I mean it this time. All you doo-doo heads have pushed me over the edge for the last time. Yeah I know that's what I said the last 500 or more times, but I'm for real now, honestly, NO really really, I'm not playin'! so pretty soon then after I whine a bit on the coming comment thread...

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Are you hasty in your replies here and tend to make mistakes? I am often even too hasty in my questioning even, thus more often than not it seems I'm misinterpreted and misunderstood more often than not.

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Who are you? Who am I? <puzzled look> I'm Captain Jack Sparrow Have you NOT heard the tales?

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Plymouth Colony was settled by a religious group known as I'll guess "Who are the Quakers!" Alex.

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Do you have a nickname and why? well, there is Cap'n, Jack and I guess even Sparrow. And one or two I've been stuck with most of my life, that I'm not too fond of, so I won't share 'em. an odd one here or there that never stuck aside from the person who originated it, but those faded from memory.

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Regarding sexual orientation, on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you fall? (1 being completely gay, 10 completely straight) 10 with honors

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R U Sirius my fellow Bucs fan has just achieved Maestro, who would like to finally give him a nice clean pair of socks? Congrats Sirius, and I'm fresh out of socks till I get some laundry done. Take two sock-puppet gags and see yer local clothier in the morning.

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What is your motto in life? Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

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What is your motto in life? "When things are at their darkest, pal, it's a brave man that can kick back and party." -Dennis Quaid the movie Innnerspace

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Why is it so hot in here? Did YOU forget one very important thing?...

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Can someone drown without being underwater? Yes, that is one reason that a lot of money is spent on labeling simple 5 gallon buckets because enough parents left their children unattended near buckets with as little as two inches of water, and thus enough infants have drown that way for the industry to try to remind us all to be more safe.

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What do you do for a regular workout? Mug curls, ale, er rum.

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Idne has reached the honor of level Swami. Would you help me congratulate her by attending this Cajun feast? We have steaks on the pit, *the* happening dance party, a free movie screening, and best of all, the chance to hug our comment thread queen? I might have to go way down upon the Swami's river on the weekend of the 4th to congrat her in person. What say you Swami idne? Up fer my Summer Southern Belles Tour?

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When you see a deer, do you see Bambi or do you see antlers up on the wall? I see what I hope some sportsman gets with a nice merciful shot so no innocent people aren't injured by the thing darting across a busy street in darkness, as I've seen far too much damage from.

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Seriously? I avoid seriousness at every possible eventuality, if you must know.

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If you could choose any three celebrities to form your own rock band, who would you choose? Liv Tyler, cuz not only is she adorable and hot, but it'd be interesting to she if she is a female chip off of old Steven's block. And perhaps as for others, that is a tough one, that depends on musical tastes and talents. Have they got the chops? Johnny Depp seems to play guitar and hangs with the likes of Keith Richards so I'd say he's in on at least rhythm guitar, if he...

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Want to play a game? You say one sentence from a movie and we'll see who can guess it the quickest! Okay? It can either be the name of the movie, or the actor. "TK421 why aren't you at your post?"

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Kourageous Kitty has just made Sage. Let's congratulate this fine woman for her efforts. WHOOO HOOO!!! Congrats! EDIT: I was unaware our fair Kitty was of such refined taste;"thanks jack, but where's the rum.:-)"

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Want to play a game? You say one sentence from a movie and we'll see who can guess it the quickest! Okay? It can either be the name of the movie, or the actor. "Trust me!"

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In which country would you like to retire? If not the good ol' U.S.A. then perhaps New Zealand, Australia, Jamaica, or Amsterdam. Depends how the next election goes.

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What flavour do you hate most? Artificial strawberry, like even the scent of those awful Strawberry Shortcake dolls. I O.D.ed on Nestle's Strawberry Quick once,(as a child) and though I love real fresh strawberries, I gag on the scent of the fake strawberry scent/flavor.

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Chicken noodle or vegetable soup: which do you prefer? Chicken Vegetable with a package of Ramen noodles broke up and added including the seasoning packet for extra salty/brothy goodness. I live on that a lot

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What kind of sandwich are you? Probably a ham

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Would you propose marriage to another AB member? I just may have... I plead the 5th... ...er, more to the point; I blame it on the fifth of rum that did the asking for me. ;-{D~

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Do you have a bucket list? (things you would like to do before you "kick the bucket") I would like to hang-glide, go up in a balloon are two that come to mind. I might edit in others as they come to me. Another is relocate to a place where I never see snow again without wanting to, perhaps. Perhaps a scenic train-trip through the west with the right woman.

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Who do you think is evil encarnate? I'll give you a hint, her initials are H.R.C.

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How do you flirt with a girl and not have her turn you away? The world may never know...

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What would you do if you ran into yogi bear having a picanic while hiking in the wild? Say "Hey Booboo, and Hey Yogi! Got room fer one more?" And perhaps "Damn! This is some good $h*t!"

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When you give someone the middle finger, do you use your left or right hand? Often times both barrels, My natural inclination is lefty since I'm left handed, but if I got something in my hand or need to draw from the hip on the right side I got'em cocked and ready for any who deserve it.

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Are you overweight? Sadly far more than I'd like to be or have been most of my life. But I plan to correct a lot of my recent laziness.

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Do you sometimes get the feeling that someone hates you here on AB? All the Frickin' time! The thing that tears it for me is the nefarious ones that won't come right out and let me know. There are plenty on here I don't see eye-to-eye with. But I don't seek them out, so why do they seem drawn to me?

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Does Pirates of the Caribbean actually promote Pastafarianism? If pirates be smoking pasta fer a buzz I'm pointing my ship in the other direction.

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ATTENTION PLEASE!!! Will you all please join me in congratulating ZACK the Guru on his 1st anniversary today! Well done, Z, and congrats also for getting your trophy back! :-) <applause> SPEECH!! Congrat's Zacky ol' boy! Drinks all around!

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Free Capt. Jack Sparrow, what do you think Mates? Half-barrel pin hinges, leverage...

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Does the Wicked Witch have flying monkeys as her sidekicks? Yup I even know who a few are but I dare not say! There are evil forces that'd silence me for good if I spoke out. Sorry I wasn't able to Photo-shop in the Members pics on the stock photo. But the WWotW is a BIG Hillary supporter!

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Is the trap door about to open from beneath us all? I think there comes a time when all good things come to an end, and well...

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Will anyone here miss Cowboys now that he's fed up? I will keep in touch with him but I have had about enough of the one-sided B.S. here!

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Have you ever met somebody and felt that it was a curse rather than fate that brought you together? I felt that about both of my last two relationships!

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Why did the Neanderthals get phased out of existence by the Cro Magnons? Survival of the fittest.

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Dorothy? Dorothy? Where are you? It's me, Auntie Em! We're trying to find you! Where are you? I'm here to lend my spyglass to the search!

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What is the worst coloring experience you have had with your hair? Bald sunburn?

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Do you match your purse to your outfit everyday or only for special occasions? Naw I have a clutch that matches all of my outfits!

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Where would you like to retire too? The Caribbean

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Do you have a pathetic life? I just I wasted an awful lot of time on this pathetic site thinking it was fair.

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For outdoor furniture do you prefer wood, metal, or upholstered cushions? upholstered

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Are you phobic of manipulators? I sure as HELL am!!! I wish the Bag was still fair or under the old illusion of fair!!

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Can I get a link to a really funny video on youtube? This is a masterpiece...

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Do you miss someone? I have a list, I'd rather not go over it here.

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Do you ever look back on your teenage years and go "Wow, maybe I really DIDN'T know what the Hell I was doing"? Far far too often.

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Have you ever had to dissect an animal? A frog, no big deal aside from the thing is pretty damn stiff from all the drying and formaldehyde used. Froglegs anyone? Sorry Angel02 and Kermie. More interesting was the small shark my 6th grade teacher dissected in front of us. The best part was the bonus rather large squid in it's stomach we didn't expect.

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My step daughter was expelled for smoking cigarettes at school and a teacher admitted buying them for her. I feel, we as parents should make the teacher accountable for her actions but my husband thinks differently, your opinion? Well as I myself attended a High School that had a designated approved smoking area, i might be a tad out of touch with the times. BUT to be expelled is a bit extreme to say the least, for starters! Especially since it isn't an illegal drug or narcotic even if they aren't legally intended for possession or use by minors. And HELL YES the teacher that supplied them should be held...

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How long would you have to know someone in real life, to have sex with them? To quote the great Gtravels, Depends! http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2910186 (But it sure wouldn't have anything to do with Pampers, as another greatly missed Bagger once made mention of and thus we lost them...) Sadly no link THERE is possible

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What do you suppose would happen if we could all use magic, and were wizards? Well I think it'd be interesting. Would we be more inclined to get along without any needs or desires out of our grasps or would there still be corrupt powers struggles to out-do one another if competition wasn't a part of survival?

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Who's your favourite stand-up comedian? Ok lame or not, I like Dennis Leary, even if I WASN'T the first to post him. The second video is dedicated to about 5 AnswerBag members I can think of, I hope they know who they are but that's all I'm allowed to say...

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Do you think that CLs should be banned from participating on AB, as it could result in forming friendships that could alter their objectivity, thus making them act or appear to take sides? I saw more partial CLs than impartial CLs in my time here but sadly when they aren't being unfair they go rather unnoticed. They don't wear very noticeable badges IMHO.

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Am I the only one that finds it suspicious, and extremely over the top that AB has put a couple of our well known users in the PB until 2035? Don't you find that to be quite excessive? You'd best get a comfy pillow if you wanna ask such questions. The Box awaits.

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My wife, Kitt-tastrophy, just made Maestro! Who would like to join me in congratulating her for a job well done? Fan-friggen-tastic! Too bad it's as the Damn Titanic is sinking! Oh well I hope the band plays your song on the way down Kitt!

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Stableboy / Brand Y has stated that he has quit Answerbag. How do you feel about this terrible loss? http://www.earthstation1.com/WBCartoonFiles/WB_Wavs/whenugot.wav

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What should a man do when his wife is against him at every turn? Well I think Bill Clinton used the theory of "I'll head for the Oval Office, she can't corner me there!"

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What's your version of the saying "Not the sharpest tool in the shed"? Again Foghorn Leghorn said it well with "That boy's about as sharp as a beach ball! Here are a few more of his gems; * Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads.(The Clinton strategy?) * Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice. * That womans as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.(not a relation to being sharp I admit, but clever) *...

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How'd this go all screwy? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1902607

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Do you get chills down your spine when you hear your country's national anthem? I do indeed!

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Does anyone else feel like AB has lost a great deal of it's allure? (And isn't it ironic that I'm posting this as an AB question?) Ender I couldn't agree with you more. For me I see it as far less enjoyable than it once was. There are only a very few reasons I've not jumped ship entirely yet, but by the same token find it more of a chore than it ever was. One reason in particular is I very much enjoy and appreciate the now dwindling few who really seem to enjoy my twisted presence here, to them I sorta feel...

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How did you get yourself into this mess? I'm afraid rum might have played a wee part. Can ya give me a hand outa it?

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If I gave you a racehorse, what would you name it? Black Pearl

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If I could see you right now, at this moment, what would I see? HEY! NO PEEKING! Unless it's two way!

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Do you like the show Leave It To Beaver? Not an all time favorite to be certain, but I wouldn't mind staring in the modern adult spoof; Slip It To Beaver.

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Fill in the blanks with the first thing that comes to your mind. F_ _ _. My first instinct is two words, rhymes with duck and ends in IT! But since that isn't 'appropriate' I'll go with ...orgetabout it!

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What the hell? I literally was gonna ask you the same thing I posted the question just now as it did NOT show it to be a duplicate, but as soon as I hit submit it told me I had an answer already. Weird huh?

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What would be the dumbest name ever for a tavern? The Drunk Tank or The Holding Cell, anything that might bring to mind the possible outcome of staying too long. The Morgue?

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What makes you return to your favorite local drinking place? Cheap prices strong drinks and not to phony of an atmosphere. Not pretentious, but not a dive.

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I've heard many people say it is time for a black President or a female President. Do you think this is "as important" or "more important" or "not important" in relation to the candidate's platform? Gender and Race shouldn't matter. We are all the human race, and I believe some women make better leaders than some men, not all. I'd like to see Condi Rice running for office more than any of the candidates I've seen in some time. But I still don't know if she's make the perfect president, but strongly convinced she could do a lot better than most. Electing...

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Is there anyone out there who did not think that "Seinfeld" was funny? Do you think that "My Name Is Earl" is funny? Seinfeld to me is way too far removed from funny for me to even vaguely get why it was so popular. I never watched "...Earl" but I have seen the guy that stars there in some pretty funny roles. I've been told I have a pretty good sense of humor yet I find the majority of sit-coms to be almost painful to watch with the canned laughter that is mainly my clue I'm supposed...

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How many times has your "gut instinct" been right? More times than not but not so right on as to have any total faith in it.

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Is the line between life online and life offline becoming more blurry everyday? Sadly I'm losing far too much interest in my life offline. If you had told me about this a very few short years ago before I even had a Web-capable PC or any Internet connection at all, I'd have told you you were completely nuts.

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Would you rather get $10,000 tax free or spend a day with me? Zack, with all due respect I'm gonna have to take the cash no questions asked and no hard feelings, savvy?

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What is the purpose of masturbating? It relieves stress for one! The DSBs can be dangerous as well.

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What is your best guess as to how long since Keith Richards had a "chemical free" day? What can I say? Ol' "Pop" is "well-preserved"!

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If you had been a flasher for many years, would you retire or stick it out for one more year? Well I've never been one to to give up something I enjoy that easily. This of course in NO way implies I was ever found guilty of said behavior. (Exhibitionist that I MAY in fact be*) So long as the Good Lord gives me the ability to make the most of what I've got? Hell why not? Isn't being a dirty old man in some weird way somehow more acceptable than just being a pervert?

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If you had absolutely no clothes in the house, what household items would you use to cover yourself so you could go out and get some? (Extra points for creativity) Hmm that is a tough one! Kinda a lame answer but why not a toga made from bedsheets? I felt compelled to answer due to wanting to share the time I talked my young girlfriend of long ago into sunbathing with me wearing only small porcelain side-dish bowls one over each breast. How is THAT for creative?

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Do you set personal points or level goals when you come on answerbags or do you just go with the flow until you grow tired of being here? It's not a job, when it's too much like work I'm not interested so my only agenda is to kick back, have a bit of fun, learn a little something interesting about people and the world around me and try my damnedest to impart my own wisdom back with a smattering of my opinion you can feel free to take it or leave it. Savvy?

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My boyfriend can only cum when I'm on top, and it takes LONG TIME even then & the way it has to work is me not grinding on him, but bouncing quite rigorously. This is exhausting after 30 min or so. Any suggestions for similiar positions w/ less ... work? While I don't deny your claim is undoubtedly true I myself find rather surprising as I can often cum far easier NOT on the bottom. Not to say it hasn't been a pleasant surprise at times. If you and he are somewhat acrobatic, and he's not the "just lay there" type either try kneeling near the edge of the bed while he is standing in a variation of "doggy...

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Why did you do it? They said it couldn't be done... ...I begged to differ... ...

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Did you have a "booty call" this weekend? I probably ought to plead the 5th, however...... I was advised that NO gentleman would kiss and tell.... however... ... PIRATE!!!!!!

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Which manufacturer makes your favorite pair of blue jeans? I always seemed to fit most comfortably into Lee brand jeans. But I wear what's affordable, for work Faded Glory brand carpenter jeans seemed the most useful in several lines of work I've been in.

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What makes you what you are? Er, snips and snails and scurvy dawg tales?

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Men, if you are interested in a woman would it scare you if she had an ex who committed a violent crime against a woman in his youth and has had some mild issues of anger management since then? Would it scare you if she was somewhat scared of him? I wouldn't be so in fear for myself as for her and the psychological impact it has on her. Fear is a terrible and powerful force. I'd wanna do all I could to assure her there was no more need to fear him so long as I was around.

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Has the Democratic boycott of Fox news ended? I'm still amazed that the Dems candidates seem to think they can go and negotiate with the rulers of countries that are sworn enemies of the U.S. but are afraid to go on Fox News to debate their sides of things due to the B.S. perception that Fox isn't fair and balanced simply due to the fact it is NOT so far left leaning like the rest of the media outlets around the country.

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My son's (and soon-2-B-bride) new clinic in Costa Rica is called 'THE GARDEN OF LIGHT.' I just finished an artwork 4 their wed-gift=leave Thurs. 4 Colombia!) New sign I created sits inside a glass shadowbox! Wanna see it? [I made 2 other artworks too!] As I said in the comment thread under where you showcased this I think it's quite beautiful, and I'm glad you've figured out how to hopefully get it there in one peice. My best wishes on all of it from the trip there to best of luck for the nuptials and their future together.

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What's your version of the saying "Not the sharpest tool in the shed"? One of my many favorites again is a quote from goood ol' Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes: "I say, that boy's 'bout as sharp as a beachball!"

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I'm so sorry! Am I too late? Better late than never!

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Has anyone had any problems with the iPod Nano? Yes but my biggest problem with anything from iPod for the iSheep is overpriced, overcomplicated and lacking in "bang-for-the-buck" compared to other brands of MP3 players that offer more features for less money and can recieve music loaded to them from a vast variety more sources than just iTunes for iSheep. BAAAAAAA!

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I'm probably headed to the PB for supporting Auntie Em, see you when I get back? I'm lost again as usual but I might as well turn my self in too if what you are saying is true. How about a clue Amigo?

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I'm happily married but love to have bisexual relationships from time to time~ i don't cheat so my husband is always involved; any tips on "coming on to a girl"? i enjoy the friendships too......i just always have a hard time moving to the next step... I'd love to help but honestly I'm probably more clueless than you are in that regard to tell the truth. Hell I AM one and sure wouldn't be any good at giving tips in the same respect about guys. And if you ask me we are far simpler creatures, but good question I look forward to seeing if you get any good advice here.

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Which part of the US do people not pronounce the "g" at the end of words ending in "-ing" It's not really all that regional, it's more a varied thing throughout. I sometimes intentionally drop the g here in an attempt ta sound a wee bit more "piratey", savvy?

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What happened to common sense? The AnswerBag member with the not as run-of-the-mill yellow smiley for an avatar? http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=216189 as for the kind a helluva lot more of society ought to have it seems to be wasting away faster than a steroid abuser deprived of the juice.

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If you to had to name your first name after a kind of tree and your last name after a kind of animal ,what would your name be? I'm a bit torn on the first, Either Buckeye or Cypress Hawk. Surprised I didn't say Sparrow?

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Do you ever get so busy with everyday life, that you forget you need to "live", in order to appreciate life? While you might just have confused yourself from what I gathered with that head scratcher, I think it does make a very good point. Too many of us seem to be racing for the finish line while not living for the moment these days. It's a shame that "progress" has taken so much of what truly civil out of civilization.

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Who would like to join me in congratulating Nursey on becoming a sage? Congratulations Nursey, I don't suppose calling you "Hot-Lips" would be appropriate now would it? Welcome to Sage, it was some of my favorite Bagging time.

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Does it seem the truth does not work sometimes at AB, it's not politically correct, and it can get you in trouble? I see it all the time on here. Why just earlier I was noting how a lot of my legitimate Q&A got flagged as offensive throughout my time here. And while I guess it's all in the eye of the judges, I've on a rare occasion tried to flag things I found extremely offensive, only to have the flag rejected. (funny thing is down the road many of these got taken out by others! hmmm?) ...

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Idne has been nominated for Louisiana Technical College's Outstanding Graduate award, which is based on leadership, scholarship, service, and several years of hard work. This is LTC's highest honor. Will you join me in a big high five? Holy COW! Fantastic to hear! That is So cool I can't begin to express how proud I am of you to achieve such a thing! And all that without even a single drop of rum! LOL

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Would anyone like to say a few words for Ladyluck on a whole year of 'Bagging? Happy AB Anniversary, Ladyluck! Nice work, stick around M'lady, the Bag could use more like you. Strike up the band, hit it Maestro! Oh WAIT that's ME! a 1 a 2 a1,2,3....

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Don't ask what ____ can do for you; ask what you can do for ____ Um,... "Kitty" "Kitty" ...savvy?

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Are you happy with what you've made of your life so far? No can't say as I am, my best efforts to date seem to blow up in my face and the effect seems to snowball. Quite sorry to whine about it actually but you asked.

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Which character said "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way"? The hottest catooon ever created; Mrs. Jessica Rabbit.

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Due to the recent wave of shootings do you think that the law on guns in american should be changed, a total ban? Not at all, leaving only criminals armed is the worst thing we coild do to make things even worse. If concealed guns were legal in more place, not only would criminals think twice before opening fire on anyone for fear of getting dropped unexpectedly in return, but law abiding citizens coild go from being additional victims of criminals to being able to defend themselve from them. I believe...

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Did you take a really sweet picture lately with your camera phone that you would like to share? This series of pics I took when I happened upon a fun guy who makes signs for a living out of vans he converts for a hobby. Pictured here is his own land version of the Black Pearl. He was kind enough to invite me in and the inside was like an odd cross between Jack's cabin and Tia Dorma's shack from Pirates Of The Caribbean. There were all kinds of cool "piratey"...

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Did you take a really sweet picture lately with your camera phone that you would like to share? This moron I snapped a quick pic of while he was waiting outside of Walmart for someone and no doubt only just picked up this over sized load of 4X8 sheet of plywood next store over at Home Depot. What the pic sadly doesn't show well enough at all is the view from the other side with the way the rear wheel is nearly bottomed out in the wheel-well and the tire is almost flat. This is by...

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I am going to post a funny picture and the story behind it. Would you care to add a funny picture of your own? This first picture is one of many kinda crappy ones that inspired one of my favorite questions I've asked on AB so far: "Does anyone have a less camera shy dog than me? Would you like to share pictures?" I just love dogs, and puppies to me are incredible photo ops just waiting to happen and they are also all too fleeting A lot of times people see my little Wookie cub with his...

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Anyone want to congratulate everyone for logging onto AB? Considering the glitches that I keep getting where I can't stay logged in from one page to the next, I'd like to give the short bus award to the fine folks at AB central for deciding to add more foolish shit to AnswerBag while leaving glitches like that, the image problems and other annoying little glitches to fester and get worse. YEA! <swings flat open hands wildly at one...

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Are you proud of your AB Profile and hoping members stop by to read your words? I really am for the most part but I had little to do with how neat I think it is. I didn't for the longest time give a rip, and barely ever had anything much at all on it. Then I decided I ought to add a bit o something, but was never truly in love with what I wrote there. Then this whole Cap'n Jack thing sorta took off on me and the next thing I know I'm more used to being...

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I'm buying the first round..what would you like? Is this gonna be an all niter? If that's the case perhaps I'll start out with a good rich thick Bloody Mary. I hope they use a good mix here instead of just runny thin tomato juice. I get a good craving for these fairly often and with a decent beer chaser it's a good way to make the3 switch over to some suds for the rest of the night, especially if we are gonna make this a real...

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What is your favorite nickname for the vagina? I like poontang. As far as cutesy and semi-polite I like "Kitty" I love to pet the kitty, and so on. And when "Aunt Ruby" is visiting "Kitty's got a nosebleed" is a good way to get the point across without it really needing discussion. Pussy of course steps it up a notch away from quite as cutesy. Now for which I dislike most I gotta say that the acronym for Can't...

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Embedding disabled by request = real coward move. What say ye? Aye! I find it particularly lame, especially when it is an "Artist" who will post a Youtube video but not allow it to be shared elsewhere so long as it is in a not-for-profit way. They are only hurting their own bottom line by limiting their exposure to more viewers.

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What does it make you feel when you hold your gf? Well a lot of things rush through my mind but it might just be the blood rushing to other areas...

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What should I name my new suckerfish? Kirby

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Do you think you're cool? To quote one of my favorite Country songs by Toby Keith - "I ain't *As Good As I Once Was* but I'm as good once as I ever was. I might not always be spot on, but I do have my moments.

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Alright a tad overdue to say the least, but will you join with me in a HAPPY Belated Birthday to my friend Katie?; http://www.answerbag.com/profile/?id=99990 I wasn't aware till the 18th and only now discovered she was overlooked. Join me won't you? Ok I feel a bit of a fool, but hey, what's a few days difference when it's more about wishing you the best year of your life so far right? CHEERS!

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You heart _______? (insert an AB users name here) Don't be shy! Well I can't bring myself to single out anyone to heart♥ here. But I'd like to club♣ Halliburton Shill, and Sakhalin isst modischen Hosen among a few others. And it might be nice to see to it that Stabledog was spade♠. there might even be a few I wouldn't mind diamonding♦ if the feeling were mutual.

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Have you been to the Mall of America, and what did you think of it? Yes and it is fairly impressive, for a mall. The best part for me was taking my two nieces to Camp Snoopy indoor amusement park. That is the smoothest and quietest roller coaster I ever rode.

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Do you have a picture of someone near your computer that makes you smile every time you look at it If so, who is it? My two nieces.

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What is your favorite Poison song? Every Rose Has It's Thorn.

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Which Johnny Depp movies have you seen? The three POTC movies, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, and I think that's about it but I'd like to see Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Blow.

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Don't you just hate when your AB comments light stays on and you have no comments? Ass-polutely I do! It's like driving a F'ed Over Re-built Dodge or FORD for short with a permanently on "check engine" light

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When you brush your teeth, does it make you have to pee? No and combing my hair doesn't cause me to have to $h*t either. 'scuse me but WTF?

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How do you prepare for a lengthy car trip with children? It's perhaps an omen of why the good Lord never saw fit to make me a parent but I'd probably go with a variation on the kind of thing my father used long before there were so many forms of portable entertainment for kids: threats to pull over and smack the crap outta any whiny or bratty kids that didn't sit still and not bother my dad while he was driving.

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Lego turns 50. Did you play with them growing up? Happy Birthday Lego, I whiled away a lot of creative hours playing with Legos as a kid.

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I'm forty today and I'm going out to get drunk? What's the worst state you've ever got yourself into on your birthday? Well for starters I fully support your decision to tie one on well, 40 only comes 'round once(THANKFULLY!) and I do heartily raise a toast to a fabulous birthday and a fantastic year, CHEERS! Now sadly as for the worst state I've ever got myself in it's always sadly been the same for all 41 of mine so far; Wisconsin. And I might add I can't think of many I'd rather...

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Do you like rainbows? now... are you gay, straight, bisexual, or transgendered? (please don't take this offensively.) The real thing? I think they are fantastic "miracles" to behold. I'm Straight as the universe is infinite. And also meaning NO offense to anyone of any sexual persuasion, but I have known a great many people who have taken a great deal of offense in the adoption of the rainbow as a sign of homosexuality. I didn't infer any malice or offense in the honest asking of this...

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Who is sick of Hillary and the lies? Sick doesn't even begin to describe it, I think her and several of her kind are undermining much of the true potential of this country with deceitful underhanded political agendas. Please give the Jackie Mason video below a minute to get passed all of his self promotion and get to the really valid points he makes.

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If you were one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, would you risk your life, family, reputation, and fortune to sign the Declaration of Independence? Gladly, it's a shame they are no doubt spinning in their graves over the travesty their creation has become.

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Can you come up with a name and ingredients for a new Ben & Jerry's flavor? Rumrunner; Caramel, bananas, peanuts and Captain Morgan's Private Stock

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People, my boyfriends an asshole, and he pisses me off soooo much. Ive tried the break up thing, but I was so miserable, I just couldnt take it, I missed him so much. What should I do? You cannot stand him yet you cannot stand to be without him? Are you sure it's HIM that is the problem or could it be YOU? You leave absolutely no room in this question for worthwhile advice to be offered, and unlikely to accept it. I would seek some kind of counseling if I were you and try to resolve your own issues before making your boyfriend the sole reason for your problems. He...

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When is up actually down? Up is down? That's just maddeningly unhelpful! Why are these things never clear? [realizing] ... Not sunset... Sundown! And Rise... Up!

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What are your thoughts on this image? (see answer) I think that is so unbelievably awesome. I just HAD to save that.

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Do you use Answerbag while intoxicated? Sometimes with "the edge off" and most of the time stone sober. And I would bet good cash money that most would hardly ever see any difference whatsoever.

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OK folks, in my answer there is a link to a Random Beer Name Generator. What is your random beer generator name? Screenshots are most welcome. Cheers! (clink) Well it seems; Hairy Hairy Schwartzbier, now truth be told I'm not that hairy or I'm not one who might induce hairballs anyway. But I guess you could say the Swartz is strong in this one.

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Outside of the movies, can a normal person really become a true hero? The very best way for an everyday person to be a true hero is to donate blood that can save a life. Aside from that firefighters, rescue workers and EMTs are real true heroes all the time just for their willingness to sacrifice themselves for others.

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What's the point of a female orgasm? I'm told it's what keeps 'em coming back for more.

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What movies made you cry? I was definitely moved to tears by the film; Saving Private Ryan. It was emotional to me in more ways than one. I pictured my father there in those scenes and conditions. But most of all I recalled how he lived a similar situation that unlike the movie when my grandmother became a widow and my Dad lost his only brother who was killed in the Navy. My father who was proud, brave and patriotic...

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Who do you taunt the most? Lemming-like, hypocritical and alarmist ultra-liberals with extreme victim mentalities and a seeming constant need to moan, complain and finger-point at all the established ways of society that afford them the opportunities to freely express their disdain in the first place.

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How many tabs do you have open right now? Of those, how many are answerbag? 22 tabs, but oddly enough I'm not at all fond of having separate windows of my web browser open.

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Do men like to be submissive or in control? If it's alright with you ma'am I'll take it from here, with your permission of course.

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Is there a cartoon you still love to watch? All the Looney Tunes classics easily.

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Do you think its funny when guys have belly button rings? Funny but more extremely SAD! A truly desperate cry for "I'm Spezial" attention.

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What is the the biggest mistake people make when they remarry? Is a self answering question like a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or is it just redundant?

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Do you mind if somebody shortens your AB nickname when they address or refer to you? If you don't mind, what would be your preference(s)? Don't matter all that much to me, I like Jack, Cap'n, even CJS in a pinch.

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If women were fish, what would you say is the best bait to use? Well once you get 'em hooked it's all in how you wiggle your worm, ain't it?

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When I say "69" what do you think of? The square root of the number; 8 something...

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Which character made the letter Z his trademark? El Zorro!

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Do you hunt bare? If I thought the bait might snag me more two legged dears I'd sure as hell give it a shot.

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Situation, you are at a bar, and notice a woman with a short skirt...you see her bare Vagina, how do you react? Lick my lips, smooth out my mustache and offer up a place to sit?

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What's your slang term for being on AB? Baggin', ABing, being a Bagger or an ABer.

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Whats the first thing you think of when I say "poker"? The classic bar sign, from back in the days of backroom gambling... Liquor in the Front Poker in the Rear.

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What's your Secret Service code name? http://channelone.com/resources/games/2005/01/21/swf_code_name/pop.html Dragon, hmmm how very odd, as in "Puff The Magic..."?

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Does anyone remember when you could just dial "0" for an operator and get FREE assistance? I SO miss those days, and they even were able to answer immediately, and also amazingly very capable of clearly speaking English, and being prompt and polite. I recall too the now long gone pay phones that would let you contact directory assistance for a quarter that they returned to you to complete the call they would connect you to. Then it got to be 50 cents to get assistance and another...

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Do you have any addictions your working on getting rid of? What are they? Well technically speaking I think I'm still addicted tobacco, however I am nicotine free since mid-January, and I am pretty sure I've finally kicked the habit after over 25 years of smoking cigarettes.

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Do you like me as an Answerbagger? I think I do but the new look has me somewhat at a loss, you are?

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My Girlfriend is cheating on me and I am writing her a letter to tell her she has to leave. She has no money to leave right now. I am giving her 2 months to leave. Is it alright to tell her to go live with her new guy? or would it be too mean? I'd say you are being far too fair as it is just tell her to get and stop caring about her at all. It is easier said than done I know, but she's already shown you don't matter to her, so for your own sake you need to cut loose, move on and don't look back. I'm dead serious take it from someone who knows ALL too well, trust me.

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Are you a bonafide math wiz? Not in the least, suffice it to say I can count past 10 with my shoes still on but that's about it.

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How old were you when you saw your first totally nude body? Far longer ago than I can recall certainly, probably the changing room at a public pool.

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What do you do when the tornado sirens go off in the middle of the night? Or do you sleep through them? I once slept through the worst in my lifetime so far. As a child a tornado once passed my house right down the middle of our street doing remarkably little damage to out property aside from a few roof shingles off and a huge Weeping Willow tree in our backyard uprooted. My father stood and watched it with no time to react, but prayer.

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I have trolls in my garden, do you? Well I had this arrangement with the Gnome that if I put 'im up in me garden he'd keep the Trolls out. So I foolishly offered to take 'im traveling with me and he goes and takes a fancy to roaming, haven't seen 'im since. Shame I can't say the same for the Trolls.

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What is the worst way to have sex? I'm guessing it's a toss up between necrophilia and bestiality myself. But I sure as hell wouldn't know.

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Wow! Crystal is sage. Who would like to wish her for this awesome run? Congratulations on your Sage-ness Crystal

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Which are you, Hot or cold at this minute? Chilled actually thanks for reminding me.

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In what category will you never become an expert? Women In the immortal words of French Stewart from 3rd Rock From The Sun... "Women; you can't live with them,... ...and yet they're everywhere!"

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Have you ever looked through a profile and thought "Damn this guy is too smart to be on my friends list"? Not that I just did.....;) Yes indeed I sure have. I also found one or two that when I went back and reviewed some post thought "Damn this guy is too much of a smartass juvenile punk to be on my friends list, what the hell was I thinking when I accepted?" Below is my tribute to those I was happier to remove than keep on that list.

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If you were a book, what would your title be? open

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Why does it hurt so much? I sure don't know and feel your pain truly. I just do know that the pain is said to make the good times that much better and more easy to appreciate. So hang in there and know that you are not alone in this, and that others care about you. And if you find the strength to get through this, somehow someway someday something positive CAN come from this if you let it. {{{{{HUG}}}}}

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What is the best Answerbag comments thread ever? (This must be a contender http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2615252 ) "Best" is all relative, but I personally liked this one, even with the cute young teenage lovebirds nesting in it like it was a "teehee,giggle-chatroom" for days in a row... http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1116448

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What was the movie that disappointed you the most to see after reading the book? The Da Vinci Code is tops on my list. I'm going with your choice as well exactly. I SO loved not only The Davinci Code, but the predecessor to it Angels & Demons was one of my favorite books to read. Now seeing how badly Davinci didn't even come close to living up to the book I'm convinced before they've even done it that it will be just as disappointing without even having seen it. But since I so enjoyed...

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Do you need to smoke some pot... right now? While I CAN say "I have the need for WEED!" all tongue in cheek, as much as I enjoy it on a great many occasions I never truly NEED it, ans SO much prefer the buzz when I give it a rest occasionally

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Might there be a few fellow ABers that need to be stoned just a little bit? There indeed ARE plenty that might just need to unwad their panties a tad and get a good chill on. The important thing is to end/reverse C.R.I.* *Cranial Rectal Inversion. And can't we all just get a bong? This really ought to be more about teamwork in our quests for knowledge, sharing information and friendship.

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Did you ever have sex in a public place and had to stop in the middle because you heard someone coming? Yes at an outdoor concert theater in the woods just off of the parking lot prior to a Van Halen show I think it was. I merely paused, said <shhh>, waited while a drunk kid unloaded a beer-filled bladder near by but never apparently actually seeing us that I could tell. and then we laughed and finished it off with a BANG!!!

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Alright Ladies, who wants to sail with me, Capt. Lizzie ? We're going on a fun ladies only cruise, unless guys want to be the galley workers. Please sign up here, to join my crew. Well I'll agree to be on board as "help" if I can considered part of the *Entertainment*, savvy? Captaincy has it's privileges! ;-{D~

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Where is LeeLee? Well she IS a slippery one but I found her, thing is keeping track of her. http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2709537

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How many comments have you posted? 13575 and counting...

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Was Bootstrap Bill Turner's nickname Barnacle Bill? Um NO Kevin, the actual nickname was Bootstrap. That is that is apparently called him when he tried to stand up for ol' Jack when Barbosa led the mutiny against him(er me). For his troubles they tied his bootstraps to a cannon and sunk it to the depths of the ocean presumably to end his life. But fate had been extra cruel to ol' Bill Turner in that at the time it is assumed that...

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I would like to make a toast to Answerbag and its lovely members. Anyone care to join me? Here's looking up yer Aunt's Fanny!

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I believe 13 is too young for sexual related activities. Do you believe this is correct? Why or why not? Yes, however I lost my virginity at 14 to a 15 year old. Thankfully it wasn't catastrophic, but I sure don't condone it.

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What color was your very first car? Crappy rust, and faded Electric blue.

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Who do you seem to piss off a lot? How about I list the ones I don't? It'd go quicker!

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Why doesn't AB have a 'best newcomer leaderboard'? Interesting concept! I like it a lot. It would encourage new arrivals.

| 7 people like this

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Have you ever raised a puppy? Did you do a good job? I at least half raised two and always felt guilty I didn't do enough for either.

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What's in YOUR wallet? I believe it must be a Quantum singularity commonly known as a black hole.

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Why is it that even when I'm getting answers and comments, my answer and comment lights aren't coming on and I'm not being notified? I get it the other way where I have the light on but I answered or saw all new comments already

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What type of fence do you have or want? Chain Link, White picket, etc. I'd be happy with one around the whole back yard at least so the dog can run around free and unhindered. I never had a fenced in yard, but have had two medium to large sized dogs and always sorta pitied them for lack of freedom. Noticed I didn't mention type, but not a big deal to me. White picket is visually more appealing to me but the dog might like the view through through a...

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Have you ever failed a grade/class in school? Does coming up short on High School credits and having to complete another short half semester count? I was pretty close but I spent most of H.S. working a full time job and partying my ass of in between

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All answers marked + unless abusive: If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior say Amen! If you have not, why not? Amen! (And AHHH women as well!)

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Are you an AB Pirate, Jetpacker, Ninja, some other faction or none at all? Been a pirate all my life! One way or another. I was once acting Commander of the AB Jetpack fleet temporarily whilst the Commander was on holiday. And some of my best friends are ninja. But in my heart I'm a rouge, scallywag pirate and always shall be.

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Part of the ship, part of the crew? Well Bootstrap it certainly appears you became every bit of both in that respect. As Captain of the Black Pearl I'm happy as a clam just being crew, well Captain of the crew anyhow! ;-{D~

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If you could acquire one, single magical power to make any one thing you want at will (***POOF***) what would it be? (Say...any time you wanted a Twinkie, you could cause it to appear in your hands.) Easy one! The power to make a magic wallet. Anytime at all that I reach into this wallet up to five U.S. mint genuine one hundred dollar bills can be pulled out of it. So say something costs a thousand dollars, I reach in grab 5 fresh 100's reach back in grab another 5. Say it's dinner, the waiter is decent I reach in again grab 4X100s for a tip. But even with so much...

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What (above all) made your decision to be liberal, conservative, independent, neo-con, etc? There are a few key issues I am either in favor of or too much on the fence about that are considered rather liberal. I tend to like to think of myself as a moderate. However much of the insane ramblings and hypocrisy of the ultra far left and double-speaking Democrats along with the majority of the media being so far left of center that many of the brain-washed would label me a staunch...

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Do you know well enough to leave well enough alone? But it's so red and shiny and big and tempting and....

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Next? Hello... How may I help you? This one of them drive-thru liquor stores I've heard so much about? I''d like a large bottle of Captain Morgan's Private Stock, ...wait better make that two. A bottle of Bundy 'overproof' ...OH and a straw!

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Of course we know Firebrand is a genius, but she has become AB's first ever Level 90 Genius! Would you like to congratulate her on a job very well done? Congratulations Firebrand, QUITE an accomplishment! Wat to GO!!!!!!!

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Who remembers the show "Laugh In"? <pokes head through bushes> VEEEEEEEERY interrrresting!...but shhhhtooopid!

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Hey whats your favorite drink, u always order when u go party or a club? Seagram's 7 Crown and Coke on the rocks. Or Captain Morgan's and Coke.

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Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with? Oh yes! Most assuredly!

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Do you drink coffee, cappuccino or other coffee type beverages often? I drink as much coffee as I can find time for if it is good strong coffee, I hate hate hate weak gas station/convenience store coffee. I only like really rich dark bold coffee with just bit of sugar in it, no milk cream or creamer. And if the occasion is right for it, a wee bit o rum or Kahlua.

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How many of you not only smoke marijuana, but are openly proud of it? (even if only open about it publicly on the net) Openly proud might be a bit over the top. I do very much enjoy it and wish there wasn't so much misinformed anti-drug hype against it. I am a firm believer in the saying; "God made weed, man made booze, who do YOU trust?" But I have much more faith and trust in the average "pothead" than the average Alcoholic. Every type of drug has a different affect on each...

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Have you ever lost a friend due to a third party demanding in some way that your friend make a choice? I guess I could say yes. It is hard to accept, but it might be for the best.

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Do you own a real leather or real fur garment? Do you wear it? Yes I own a genuine leather jacket, I find it fits nicer and drapes better than any cloth jacket I ever had.

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If president Bush was killed, (assasinated, car crash, anything) would you join in a moment of silence? You can disagree with his policies all you want, but he is the president. I'm certain I would.

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Are you in a good mood right now? Is there any special reason, if so will you share it, please? I'd love to say yes, but I won't lie to you. I do however hope all who are reading this are.

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Does anyone have a broken heart? Yes badly

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How good are you juggling skills? None too shabby. I can do three semi-round objects fairly easily. I'm not inclined to do any flaming stuff or running chain saws. I can't really do pins, but then I've never had professional juggling pins. I taught myself in little league when I was the smallest and youngest on the team and had time to kill on the bench, and plenty of practice balls at my disposal.

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Honestly, what would you do without me? .... Please flag this answer, my mistake

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What are some good sci-fi books you've read? Hands down The Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

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If you could be a candy bar which one would you be? Almond Joy Cuz I got nutz!

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Why did they throw you into the brig? ...for your willful commission of crime against the crown. Those crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature... ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England... ...arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. "For these crimes you will be hung by the neck until dead. May God have...

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Can I have your autograph? Sure thing, but all I have to write on is this blank check. Will that do?

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Are you more open in an online setting than you are in a real life setting? As in, you talk more or say things you normally wouldn't. In a real life setting I am extremely reserved, unless I feel very very comfortable around who I am with and where I am interacting. I can be VERY outspoken with folks I am comfortable with, but very shy and tend to hold back in larger crowds or with folks I don't know all that well. Many here know I can be pretty damn bold on here, when a subject is troubling to me, or I see people...

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If men like women's boobs so much because they don't have any, why do they not feel the same about vaginas? Ok honest answer? I DO love vaginae, I'm nuts about 'em. I love to give oral pleasure to them nearly as much as many other sexual acts I enjoy. Is it due to the fact I don't have one? I don't know, I DON'T HAVE ONE OF MY OWN. I do like women's breasts as well, but aside from those women who tend to become EXTREMELY aroused by having them stimulated, they are...

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Have you ever seen a conterversial tee shirt and what did it say on it? Oh my, well this IS DAMN near a duplicate but not quite! I KNOW if I offer up some of the WORST ones I've encountered here I'll get blasted, cuz Lord knows they LOVE to shoot the messenger, especially on controversial or offensive. Doesn't matter if it IS a good answer to a question or NOT.

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I finally got a new mattress set yesterday (Thursday) and slept do good for the first time in ages. Do you think I will again tonight, or was it just a placebo effect? How's it hold up for "ya'know"?

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Am I missing something when I think free healthcare to everyone is a good thing? I am all for pleasant imaginary fantasy things. Unicorns, Pegasus, Mermaids, Pixies, Elves, Faeries, Leprechauns and the like. All are entertaining folklore that free up creative thinking and allow up to see things "outside of the box". But when you speak of "free health care " you are talking about exactly the same thing. There is ALWAYS A COST! This carrot of...

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My fiance likes to bite me hard, how do i make her stop? Please help me!!!! Well that is a tough one. For me a rough little nibbling can be more than enough. Here's a suggestion grab a firm pinch of nipple and it the bitting gets too hard squeeze real hard yourself, of course if she likes that sort of thing you might just get bit right off!

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SKITTLES...just a "Jelly Bean" on Steroids? Not exactly a jelly bean to ME. And whatever happened to jelly beans the way they used to be?Ya know the ones you could just gnaw off the shells and they all had a distinct flavor, then you'd be left with a little nearly transparent piece that looked like silicone? But as for Skittles, I occasionally like the sour ones but otherwise not so much. ....Um yeah taste the rainbow huh?

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The drinking age in America(or wherever you may be) is being disputed once again, some say if you can vote and risk your life for your country you ought to be allowed. First; What age do YOU think? Stay at 21, 18 or...? And; when could you legally? 18 I think is a good age to make it legal 19 is when I was legal to drink. I felt a bit robbed by NOT being allowed at 18 as I just missed that age by a few short months. I DID however get to legally drink from 19 on since that was the age limit when I reached it just in time to be grandfathered in before the 21 age limit began. I did TRY to serve my country(medically DQed last minute...

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What do you enjoy pretending to be most often as an adult? A Pirate? Or is it a Pirate pretending to be an Adult?

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If an alien came on here, and asked to see the AB leader, who would you say is the leader? I nominate, and I can't believe I'm saying this, Captain Swann...

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How can you tell if someone is good or bad in bed? Um, I find the best way to know with certainty is to get in there and give it a whirl. There are a LOT of things you'll never know unless you give it a shot. The thing is though, it DOES take two to tango, so if you just lie there and and expect it to be all about making YOUR pleasure the only thing that matters, then even the best lover can lose all inspiration.

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Is 'the force' strong within you? Well I've always been inclined to believe that hokey religions and ancient weapons were NO match for a good blaster at yer side. But by the same token I'm beginning to think you gotta take a few things on faith. ...and after all only a Sith deals in absolutes!

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Do you think the word "fanny" is funny? I'm a big time fanny lover in every sense be it the U.K. or U.S. version of the meaning.

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Which spice are you? Um, Sage apparently? At least for a wee bit more...

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Have you ever encountered a puppet jumper here on AB? There seem to be more socks than clones in the Attack Of The Clones from Star Wars. You can NEVER tell who's side ANY of them are on.

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Who would like to join me in congratulating a true gentleman and epitome of Guatemaleness, Barcaluv67, on becoming a Guru? Fantastic! Another fine ABer makes the rank of Guru. Wonderful news and my sincerest congratulatiions mi Amigo!

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Is anyone interested in seeing a pic of the most beautiful baby born in 2008? Dang cute baby there Stormy! My sincerest congrats and best wishes!

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Do you dip your french fries in your chocolate frosty from Wendy's? Um NO! I NEVER got that. Had a girlfriend that dipped fried mozzarella sticks in a hot fudge Sunday whenever she could.

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Where do people live that use this site and how old are you(you dont have to answer that bit)? (Im 22 and live in Queensland, Australia) I'm 41 and live in Wisconsin(sigh)

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Where has my avatar gone????? i've checked "edit profile" and it's uploaded but when i comment or answer i get the......."bag" :( Glad to see it's restored!

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I caught my girlfriend in bed with the pool guy. She explained to me that it was just an accident. She said their clothes were both really wet and while they were changing "she tripped and he fell". Should I believe her? Accidents CAN happen I guess. That sounds straight out of the movie The Last Boy Scout(which I loved BTW!) When Bruce Willis's character catches his best friend screwing his wife the guy actually had the nerve to say it was an accident. And Bruces's line was PRICELESS. "Sure it was an accident, could happen to ANYBODY, the floor was wet, you slipped fell and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife!"...

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Do you refuse to apologise to children? That would be silly and teach them all the wrong things. It might be hard to swallow pride and admit being wrong to a kid, but if it's explained why and well it can be a big part of helping them grow into be a better and more understanding person.

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Are you more likely to say yes or no? I'll give ya a firm maybe baring more details. I'm big on riding the fence that way.

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The lovely and sweet Gina has made her climb up the ladder to Maestro! Would you all please join me in congratulating her for a job well done, and to let her know how greatly she and her kind ways are appreciated here on Answerbag? Congrats Gina! xoxo Here is another I didn't get a memo on that I sure would have liked to! Congratulations Gina, well done and nice work.

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Have you ever been short of breath when you were a smoker? Did this convince you to quit and if not why do you still smoke cigarettes then? Yes, I did on SEVERAL occasions. On top of that I'm slightly asthmatic and allergic to cigarette smoke.(Smoking myself built up my tolerance in bars in my younger years, silly huh?) As of the end of January or early February I have FINALLY managed to remain smoke free for the first time in about 25 years. I've wanted to quit for quite a few years now but the addiction to...

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Do you ever laugh at things that aren't funny? If so, why do you do that? Sometimes things that are so incredibly disturbing as to seem like a remarkably cruel twist of fate, in lieu of screaming out frustrated pointless raging anger I sort of instinctively switch to a kind of maniacal laughter that is far more troubling than satisfying.

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Do tattoos look good on women? I'm not much inclined to think they look good at all on anyone, especially women. Some if done EXTREMELY well and tastefully can be an exception, but I find them rare. For the record I DO have a very good friend who is a spectacular artist and tattooist, he's done some really fantastic things. On the whole of other's works I've seen crappy to less than mediocre seems the...

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For the Republicans: What would make you vote for Obama or Clinton in November? I concur with my learned colleague Cowboy, while I consider myself more of a conservative moderate than affiliated with any one party. If those were the only two choices left to me, considering both seem to have rather blatant deep far Left-wing agendas, I'd be more inclined to want to change my citizenship than be forced to decide between the lesser of those two evils!

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Ooops! She did it again. Lovely, luscious LeeLee has made it to Sage. Break off some love ,won't you? Welcome to the ranks of Sage-ness you naughty li'l thing you! Cangrats and welcome to the club. New members gotta buy the first round though.

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Does anyone want to heal the wounds of another dating match gone bad? Do you at times like lifting people off the dumps or do you enjoy just stepping over them and help them sink some more? Ain't it dandy that today I'm fair game for anything you've got? I'm always happy to try to offer a hand up to a decent someone who fell into the same pit I did. Just because I may not ever make it out myself is no reason why I should bitterly think others deserve the same fate.

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If you were in church with Barack Obama and the Reverand J. Wright started shouting God Damn America would you shout "Hallelujah"!, or walk out? I don't think what led up to that would have me hanging around that long. I really have a hard time with anyone believing that type of statement was taken out of any context that could make it right unless it was quoting an enemy, and pointing out the twisted theology of a religion that believes in killing innocent women and children in the name of a Jihad that will supposedly grant that...

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Our very own Fun has just learned how to ride a bike. Would you all join me and saying, "What the heck took you so long?" Congratulations Fun! What the heck took you so long? But way to go, I hope you learn to like it, it can be a very enjoyable way to get some fresh air and exercise.

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What the heck happened to my Avatar? it shows up on my profile but not when I answer a question. I had much the same issue, it's been coming and going as is the posted picture one as well.

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Do you trust barack hussein obama? No I don't. He seems like an opportunist and to me he seems to have nothing but disdain for this country It's one thing to disagree with certain policies, but what I gather from him is a contempt for everything the United States has ever stood for or represented. I'm concerned to say the least as to what exactly would truly satisfy him personally as far as his promise of...

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Have you ever attempted to fly a biplane upside down through a barn? (figuratively speaking) Figuratively speaking I think that is as good of an analogy as my trying to make my last relationship work.

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What is worse? marijuana or alcohol Well since Alcohol flat out kills brain cells and severely damages many other vital organs such as the liver and kidneys. And since there is a portion of our brains that are actually scientifically designated as THC receptors that are stimulated by THC; the 'active ingredient' in marijuana and merely realign the thought process without actually killing brain cells by changing...

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Lady Alathia of Vulcan is AB's newest Maestro! Will you join me in congratulating her and wishing her to 'Live Long And Prosper'? I hate to sound illogical, but Dammit Spock how did I miss this?? Congratulations Vulcan High Priestess May you live long and prosper. INFORMATION Species: Vulcan Classification: Bi-pedal Humanoid Affiliation: United Federation of Planets Homeworld: Vulcan Location: Beta Quadrant *Excerpt from: ...

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How come AC/DC isn't on iTunes? Perhaps they are as disgusted by i-Everything as I am (Or is the l-Am) Let's see a device that's retail cost is MORE than the cost of competing products(MP3 players) that often have MORE storage capacity and accept the loading of music from other sources than strictly JUST i-Tunes, and in some instances include FM radio tuners and voice recorders. Am I the last of the holdouts on...

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If Typhoid Mary was the last person left on AB, would you still hang out with her. Or throw her under the bus with everyone else? I'm pretty sure I'd take the Bagicide way out! If she were the last person on AB what would be the point in going on?

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Who is funny to you? Steven Colbert And Craig Ferguson

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I always knew that Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island was a bad girl. Her recent drug arrest seems to confirm that. Have any thoughts regarding this? And does this change your opinion of Ginger at all? Makes me want Mary Ann even more. But Ginger never did ALL that much for me, even as a lad the high maintenance types seemed like a big turn off for me.

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Dyou you think Spitzer is sincere that he is sorry for his behavior or just sorry he got caught? I think he is as sincere as Micheal Vick was when he found Jesus when all hell broke loose in HIS case.

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What is your favorite Def Leppard song? I like Let's Get Rocked. But with a lot of the Sweeties on AB and one in particular, Pour Some Sugar On Me should get honorable mention as well.

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What was the Worse Ever Neighborhood You've Been To? Some projects in Tennessee while I was doing some cable contract work. A Sad place to live in my opinion. No disrespect to those who couldn't do better but DAMN!

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What is your favorite Chinese food entree? Cashew Chicken from a local family owned restaurant called Chin Hwa. Nicely prepared fried chicken tenders in a unique sort of sweet and sour glaze, with of course fresh cashews. Yum!

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When people are "too nice" do they lose your respect? Maybe "lose mt respect" is a bit too harsh, but if it seems overly phony it does grate on my nerves a tad.

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What public utilities or other modern conveniences do you live without? Have gone without Central air conditioning my whole life.

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"Confucious say.......?" "He who fart in church, sit in own pew."

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Saturday, March 29, is Andy777's four-year anniversary on Answerbag. Yes, that's right - four years!! Will you join in the celebration of this remarkable accomplishment by one of Answerbag's all-time most highly respected and well-liked members? Apologies for my late arrival Andy777. By all means! Nicely done, and while I'm none too familiar with who is and isn't a CL, I'm glad Andy took on the role, she seems the most fair minded of all of the ones I've encountered so far. So my hat is off to you Andy, and my best wishes on your continued AnswerBag experience.

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I'm not sure how on Earth we missed it but Nitroduck is a Sage! Won't you please join me in a toast to that wonderful redneck duck? 3 CHEERS(er 4, who's countin'?) For that Dynamite Duck!!! Welcome to Sage-hood ya big nut!

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If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made with? Well, since I got kicked out of Cub scouts for eating a Brownie I never made it into Boy Scouts to find out. But I'll guess Girl scouts.

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Just how far do the alien word abductors (ie-thread word erasers) have to go before they've gone too far? What do you feel about this? Maybe Maybe if if I I double double up up,, enough enough words words will will be be left left to to make make a a sensible sensible answer answer.. Of Of course course that that isn't isn't to to say say that that the the ct ct will will flow flow as as a a conversation conversation.. Savvy savvy??

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Does anyone here believe that Sen. Ted Kennedy is looking out for anyone or anything besides his own interests in trying to stop the Cape Wind Project in Nantucket Sound? I'll include a link in an answer to this to get any of you up to speed on the story I know the whinny liberals will all cry "Oh Fox is so biased!" due to the fact it isn't as ridiculously far left-leaning as the rest of the media. But I defy anyone to show me any other source anywhere that shows that this wind farm would have ANY negative effects aside from giving some drunken Kennedy's something else to run into in a vast harbor with their luxury yachts.

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Would anyone like to join me for a glass of fine Irish Ale on St. Patrick's Day? Green of course! Can I get me a rain check as I wasn't aware of the question in time!?

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Are you easily to reach climax sexually or manually? English spoken here please.

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(Women) Shave the beard or keep it? I tend to MUCH prefer my women without any facial hair at all!

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The lovely, MIMI has finally reached BRAIN (who would have thought she even had one?? LOL).. lets PARTAAAYYYY!!!! Will you all congratulate her with me and come to her party? CONGRATS PAL!!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXX MMMMMMM!!!!! BRAINS MMMMMMMM BRAINS!!!!

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After all is said and done do you still think of a close friend like family? No I appreciate my closest friends far more than my estranged family.

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Sure, "What" would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers. Edit: PLEASE FLAG THIS ANSWER

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Do you really resemble your avatar? What quality about you does it represent? Spitting image, like identical twins separated at birth.

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Do you think you use smiley faces too often? :) I'm sure I do for SOME peoples liking. But you know my motto, right? Joke'em if they can't take a CENSORED

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Is it just me, or are there a lot of questions on AB about rabbits? They DO seem to multiply faster than others, strange, huh? Naughty rabbits!

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Who wants to help me make a long list of diffrent kind of youtube videos? And to make vidoes just to post on AB? This video is so damn hilarious for one; I don't know how the newscaster actually read the story with a straight face, and I about piss myself every time I see it. The thing is though it also pains me that such a walking brain donor was ever able to get a job as a police officer. I mean what is the entry exam? Print your name here______________

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Who wants to help me make a long list of diffrent kind of youtube videos? And to make vidoes just to post on AB? Sure I'll play along a bit. I'm a pretty big fan of Craig Ferguson And this video montage of his cracks me up...

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As a Community Leader, I would like to sincerely thank ALL of the ABers who assists us by reporting spam, trolls, etc. Who wants to join me to say thanks? Thanks to all those who make that extra effort truly, especially when it's unbiased and for the right reasons and the good of all. When things become a crusade for the purpose of dividing the community in the interest of agendas is when it becomes a problem.

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Points are like money in the following way, you can't take them with you. Do you agree or disagree? Feel free to explain in as much detail as you care to. I'm really interested in hearing from everyone on this subject. So this is it then, pointless, pennyless and alone, eh? Fair enough, it was a good run, I guess....

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WASHINGTON (AP) - Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign said she "misspoke" last week when she said she landed under sniper fire during a trip to Bosnia as first lady in March 1996. Does this ruin her credibility in your eyes or is it "just embellishment?" Hey the family that lies together dies together right? "I never inhaled." "I never had sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." "If elected...Universal Health Care" (Like an I Love Lucy rerun and apparently the U.S. taxpayers will foot the bill for the "UNIVERSE"? ...

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? I'm not certain if these qualify as boxers or just "boy-shorts" I just know I think I'm in love!

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? This is an oldie but a goodie! However I think it's best suited for a girl's boxer shorts; Youtube myspace and I'll Gooogle your Yahoo

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Mount Morningwood National Park

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? <arrow to fly hole> Lick here to add me as a friend! (Like a *Myspace* type of 'click here' icon.)

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Like what you see? Meet mini me! <Down arrow>

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? You WILL get wet on this ride!

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Morningwood Lumber Company

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Free Breathalyzer

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? Warning Millions of babies on board!

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What would be awesome printed on a pair of boxers? I knew the second I saw this I had the perfect answer in a graphic, so I'll submit it. But due to the pic problems lately I'd best print out the line as well to insure it makes sense. WARNING Choking Hazard Package contains large parts! Keep out of reach of small women

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What is your favorite body part in girls/boys? On a shapely woman the entire backside, from a firm bottom to the nape of the neck. And I just love the look of some women's shoulder blades. Boys? Not so much! But I do admire strong shoulders there.

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Are you guilty of lack of exercise.Would running be a shock to your system? I am slightly asthmatic, but not severely so long runs get me quite winded. But I can and do run short spurts quite often. I have always had fairly physical types of jobs, so exercise was never a huge necessity. I do love to bicycle but running is far to hard on my ankles and feet. I've suffered far too many injuries there too run much.

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What does the term "Yankee Rose" mean? I got this excerpt from Wikipedia, which I do NOT think of as the be all end all gospel. Merely one of many information sources that should be taken with the appropriate grain of salt. The Satanic Bible ends with a mysterious stamp reading only "YANKEE ROSE", in all capital letters, and in slightly inkier typing. The meaning of this is a matter of speculation, and remains a...

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Is brown becoming the new blonde?? Like all the girls at my school are dying there hair brown now. Do guys like brunnettes better? I have ALWAYS fallen for Brunettes FAR FAR faster than blondes. There have only ever been a very small handful of blonds I've ever found to be even remotely attractive. But brunettes light and dark seem to melt(and often BREAK) my heart.

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I have a old tin sign here with the words "All Aboard Join Our Vacation Club" & a Old Passenger Train painted on it.Near the bottom it reads "American Express Train" and the two names of "Currier & Ives". Has anyone on A.B. ever seen this painting before? No I have not, but may I make a suggestion? If you can take a very well light photo of it and get it on your PC either by scanning it or whatever, then add an answer her yourself and post the picture of your picture. I once shared an extraordinary oil painting my thirteen year old niece did, that I was very proud of her for, on here doing that. Example below...

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Will the demand for Fake Rubber Dog Doo imported from China ever outstrip the Fake Dog Doo supply chain? What is the average yearly consumption per capita of Fake Dog Crap in the United States? The toughest part is production. The rubber dogs keep dying off from all the lead put into their diets to assure they poison the foolish Americans. It's long past time that PETRA stepped in to represent them. there was some experimenting done with elephants a well see pic. *Bonus*included is an extra to honor my favorite life penguins who are never ones to pass up these...

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Who had the 9 pieces of 8? All depends how you look at it. Captain Sao Feng's piece was technically the last one to arrive at the meeting of the brethren court. However it only made it due to him passing it on to his successor Elizabeth Swann. But Jack declined to give up his till all of the Nine were assembled. As for the last one to be added to the bowl they burned them in, I believe it was Captain...

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Who sang: Hoist the Colours? Well Kiera Knightly for one, as Elizabeth Swann in the third installment of Pirates Of The Caribbean; At Worlds End.

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Do you think elementary school children should be able to carry guns to school to keep them safe? This is being debated in several states, you know. Proponents say it could help save lives? That is beyond ridiculous. There is NOO way an elementary school child should be needing to carry a gun for safety or security purposes. I'm all for the NRA and the right to bear arms. But if we need to turn elementary schools into war zones we might just as well go back to living in caves.

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What did Captain Jack Sparrow say to Paris Hilton? These trampy clothes do not suit you in the least. For you it should be a a dress that is actually CAPABLE of covering your crotch in public you boney little SKANK! ...and find some underwear, that thing is drawing flies!

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You MUST get a tattoo, it's the law, where it will be located and what it will be is your choice. What's it going to be and where? A Jagged looking rip in the shape of my Ex's initial{J} over my heart. And a simulated *Brand* of a P on my wrist.

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Who believes that former President Clinton was set up in the Lewinsky affair? Please elaborate. Thank you. If and I do mean *IF* he was set up it was his own people trying despreately to deflect attention away from many of the other far more devious scandals he was involved in. The list is remarkable, and by making such a huge elaborate deal out of something so "trivial as his infidelity" they martyred themselves into looking like targets for this "vast Right-wing...

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Are your political affiliations the same or different than those of your parents? Very similar

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How is YOUR Spring going so far? Did YOU just get buried in feet of snow like *I* did? See pics in my answer here... This collection of picture was taken on the 21st and 22nd of March of 2008. Correct me if I am wrong(and I know some of you live for THAT!) those are the 2nd and 3rd days of "Spring" right? WI sucks!!!! Global Warming my fat arse Al Gore!

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Is it true that Biologists do it in their genes? Well I'm a literal "Jack of many trades" but Biologist is NOT one of 'em.

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What's your Austin Powers Spy Name? (Only answer with the middle name) http://www.austinpowers.com/cgi-bin/austin/spyname.cgi Jack "Thrilling" Sparrow There isn't a dare you won't take or a risk that you won't make to secure the prize. Much like a movie, your personal plots are always filled with thrills and decadence. Vital Gear Includes a cat suit for women, or a bomber jacket for men, complimented by a come hither glance.

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What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word 'hillbilly'? The theme from Deliverance "Dueling Banjos" ZOINKS!!!!

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What would your response be to someone that said "Gee, I thought you were dead"? Am I NOT?

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At what age did you first fall in love? I believe I was about 16-17 and I to this day never really got over her. She was the sweetest most adorable girl I ever met. Letting her slip through my fingers is one of one of my greatest regrets in a long lifetime full of them.

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Are you happy at the moment? No not really but I seem to manage to make my own misery regardless of what I try to do. If anyone reads this and would do me a favor; SMILE! Who knows I might feel it myself, and it can't hurt ya right?

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Which do you wish was tighter.. your abs or your a**? Abs if my arse were any tighter only dogs would hear me fart. Of course that would no doubt be a good thing.

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Which word is more insulting: prostitute or whore? Well I personally think whore would be more offensive as some very well paid people in that business are often proud they can make so much more at their "craft" than many who work VERY hard in school and take far more "acceptable" forms of making a living. Prostitute is more of a job title and less of an insult than whore. But I myself? I'm just a ...

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If you had a key to anywhere, where would it be to? Am doing a design project and need 100 answers to this question so would really appreciate your opinions! The key to immortality! But I'll be quite honest, I myself really have NO desire to live forever I don't think, from my experience SO FAR. But who knows what the key to immortality could bring? An end to physical pain? Perhaps stopping or even reversing the aging process back to a point most coveted? Just possessing the key to this key to immortality could surely make...

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How old wil you be on May 15, 2049? I guess 82 but most likely worm food.

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How old were you in 1980? Um, lucky Thirteen...

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If you were an exotic dancer, which song would you dance to? Everybody Wants Some Van Halen

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What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My stubbornness and hardheadedness when it comes to standing up for what I believe in but arguing with those who can't or won't see any other viewpoint than their own.

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Use one word to decribe yourself and it has to start with the first letter of your name. (first name only) Sad.

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Do you think this is funny? http://youtube.com/watch?v=c84RpUXcPZk Not really. It much like many of MadTV's stuff it just kinda gave me a headache. I don't know R. Kelly's stuff, but it does seem like his style I think Dave Chappel(sp?) spoofs him far better IMO.

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Funny or serious? Which of the 2 are you? I'd like to be known as seriously funny. But far too often I take things too seriously.

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Would you ever change your name? I have given it thought but not too seriously, I was never too fond of my name and always kinda liked the name my father was given at birth but then had to have it changed to a biblical name to me baptized. He was born Jack. LOL

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Do you think that you were an 'accident or 'prepared pregnancy? Certain I was an accident. Fortunately life has assured me I won't be making the same anymore.

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Does anyone have $10.00 my brother in law can borrow, he wanted me to ask. Yes however I charge 50% interest compounded every fifteen minutes.

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GUYS: do you prefer girls with an "inny" or "outtie" belly button? Inny

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Do you have a favorite Star Wars quote from any of the movies? "Laugh it up Fuzzball!"-Han Solo I think those movies are about the most quotable of all time, but I'm a huge Star Wars geek! All my most favorite are from my favorite pirate/smuggler Han Solo. Runners up include "I don't know! Fly casual!" And of all the insults tossed in one sentence by Leia, "Who's scruffy looking?" is all he hears? Or...

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If pirate talk was a language taught at school, would you take it? Aye to THAT lass! I'm pretty certain I'd ACE that course a HELLUVA lot better than I'd do with ANY of the other languages besides English I was offered in school. Blimey, I'd not mind bein' a professor in that particular course. Think I could get hired in an all lass school?

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Half of me says 'get and do some of those ignored jobs. The other half says 'stay on AB and relax' help me solve my dilemma please... I think you are looking to justify staying here due to the fact you can be fairly certain the rest of us here are here to put off other things ourselves or have already gotten our other crap out of the way. Either way, your more inclined to get some scapegoats for why you ought to put off the other things and be a contributor to the Bag I think then have a majority tell you to shuffle off and...

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What were you thinking!? Do tell me, what on Earth here ever led you you to believe I ever did any *thinking* in this regard at all?

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Even if you are not diagnosed, do you sometimes feel like you have ADD? Yes I do, but what can I do about it? I'd really rather not know I have NO insurance or means to "treat" it so what would be the point in being diagnosed, more to worry about? Excuses that won't really matter to anyone?

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Do you have a favorite drinking glass/cup/mug that you prefer and use more often than any?, or do you just grab one at random? I have a few. 2 of them I prefer most for coffee one just cuz it's LARGE and the other is on the large side too but it's a mason jar with a handle. For other liquid refreshments I like a large beer style glass but not a pilsner Just plenty of room for ice and a good strong drink that isn't gone before I get a chance to sit and enjoy it.

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Are you stoned? I wish!

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I found this and thought of our ABer Fun. Any thoughts about this disturbing bit of fun? http://www.rathergood.com/bacon/ OMG that was indeed so much "Fun"!

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied? "A martini please." The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your...

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Have you ever felt so heart broken ,that it really feel's like your heart hurt's? Yes, I absolutely have and still do. Enough that I can't bear to elaborate further, but also not certain how it could be any worse to acknowledge it.

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What is the correct way to write a retired military officers rank on a wedding invitation? I believe a simple example whether "correct" or not would be; Capt. J. Sparrow (Ret.) This in fact might become a reality soon.

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How is fishing better than sex? I'm sorry, WHAT????

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What animal do you think is the cutest? I'm a biased proud pappa, but my Wrigley, Soft-coated Wheaton Terrier was about the cutest thing in the world as acute of a creature as I ever saw in my life as a pup. And harder to photograph than Bigfoot The Loch Ness Monster or Extraterrestrial aliens thus he inspired one of my favorite questions early on on AB. http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/597425 Sadly the old saying is all too...

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What's that jangling sound? The dried up shriveled up pieces of my broken heart

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How easy is it for you to always say 'no problem?' I am ashamed to admit it is FAR easier for me to say than to honestly back it up. I take a lot of things that others seem to have a much easier time with letting "roll off their backs" way more personally and to heart than apparently I should. I get way too anxious about things and then vent on all the wrong issues. The dumbest things can topple my house of cards. It's cost me...

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What is the absolute worse pain you've ever had? How did it affect you in the long-run? No doubt it was my third bout with kidney stones. My first was when I had a job with good health insurance, it was tough no question but small brief with immediate hospital stay and Morphine(WOW what an amazing drug!) The second bout no picnic either but still insured. Round tree was bad in two respects, but mostly due to NO insurance. I needed to go to the Hospital with the definite...

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Where did I put that darn thing? It's probably with that other doodad I misplaced before. If I find 'em first I'll let ya know you do the same, savvy?

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What type of answer on AB do you most enjoy? No doubt HUMOR!!!! Intelligent and witty as it can get and by all means informative, but cold hard fact is dull. raw opinion is a dime-a-dozen. Add some warmth to an opinion I don't necessarily agree with and I'll often respect you far more for it. A purely factual answer can explain less than one with some insight added to make it easier to surmise the gist of it.

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For me, one of the best parts of being an AB'er is the dialogue it creates! How about you? I like a lot of the dialogue, particularly the pleasant and supportive kind but often the silly and just for the fun of it kind too. Sure the occasional good debate gets stirred up but they get too volatile at times.

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Going in for yet another CT cancer scan tomorrow. Will you send me your prayers and best wishes? I'm a wee bit afeared this time. (You guys always have a way of lifting my spirits, regardless of outcome!) I've been praying ceaselessly since I learned of your predicament but I shall double my efforts tonight!

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Did you ever believe at any time you were growing up that you were an extraterrestrial? Yes I actually had this weird conspiracy theory that my parents and everyone in my life was a part of some big scheme, and they were all actors or aliens themselves in disguise. A bit like that movie with Jim Carrey The Truman Show combined with Fox Mulder from the X-files. And al this was LONG before either.

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What's the first thing that comes to mind, when you hear the word 'butcher'? Saddam Hussein The Butcher of Baghdad Or his sons. He had invaded Kuwait, burned its oil fields in a dastardly act of eco-vandalism, killed some 5,000 of his own people with chemical weapons at Halabjah, and stuffed another 400,000 or so of his constituents into mass graves. The reports I heard of the sons made Saddam seem civilized. Hussein was convicted of ordering the killings of 148 men...

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Do you know any good lawyer joke? Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator. Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement ...

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3 stooges or abbott and costello or marx brothers? Marx Brothers

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Richard pryor, or dave chapelle? Pryor

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If a parrot lived at your house, what words or phrases would it learn the fastest? Honestly probably the entire George Carlin & word list I can't "say" here. But it'd be fun to get one to say any or all of the following; DON'T EAT ME! Walk the plank Parlay [squawk] Wind in yer sails. Wind in yer sails. Hide the rum! Dead men tell no tales... Shiver me timbers. Drink up me hearties, yo, ho... Mind the boat Of course any one of...

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Does your boss acknowledge when you are doing a good job, give you compliments when deserved? No not that I really ever recalled.

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Fast food or homemade? Homemade mostly. But Chik-a-Fil in a pinch(None near by<sniff>) Or the glad to have'em back but not really the same Suburpia Subs.

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I was watching an episode of The King of Queens last night with my bf in which Carrie started wearing her hair in a bun and Doug hated it. My bf then told me he doesn't care for my hair when it's up either. Guys, do all of you secretly feel that way? I'm not a real fan of the severe look of a bun. It can vary greatly depending on the woman. I DO however really like ponytails and pigtails quite a bit. I'm very much into long hair on women in most cases.

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Ever feel like you're just pissin' in the wind? Far more often than NOT!

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What do you think about this?The World Gangbang champion; Claudia Figura sleeps w/ 646 men in one day. Ok well I'll not want to be ANY of THAT! I've only got one real answer for that, see below;

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Who sang "Don't worry, be happy"? Bobby McFerrin As many here have already pointed out but the odd ironic twist is he committed suicide. So VERY sad! Edit: MY BAD I'd heard the rumor from many a source so took it for granted as true. For the RECORD he is still very much alive!

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Have you ever done something illigal? Yes I most certainly have. I really would be amazed if anyone here thought they could post that they NEVER have. Even J-walking is illegal, and I seriously doubt anyone that has ever driven a motorized vehicle has NEVER taken it over the legal posted speed limit.

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Are there any naked pictures of you in this world? Is posting my baby pic ok?

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Would you ever defy your boss if he/she asked you to do something you didn't agree with? I have, I've never really had a job that meant that much more to me than my own morales. There is always some other way to make a living, but what is the point in making a living if you can't live with yourself?

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If pot was legal, would you smoke yourself into a lethargic mess? Not in the least I question the point the question is even going for. I enjoy many types of sweets and fattening things yet I've never pigged out on either and ate myself into a fat bloated mess. I occasionally enjoy a good Alcohol buzz, but more often than not prefer to NOT get full on drunk and as yet have still not found enough despair to drink my life into the gutter. And YES I DO...

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Who else feels that John Mccain will wind up being the next US President? I sure hope so given the choices put before us! I used to be certain there was no one that would frighten me more than having Hillary back in the White House. But this time not even just as Slick Willie's puppet master but actually wearing the pants(which he never seemed to be comfy keeping on while he was supposed to being doing the JOB of being President) But then along came Sen....

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What part of the weed dont you smoke and what does it look like(the part you DONT smoke ?? The part you don't smoke is the stems the seeds and the leaves. Leaves can be added in a desperate pinch. But Stems suck and are the thick dry hard branchy part. Seeds are horrible to smoke, they pop, and stink and choke ya with the harshest most vile smoke. Buds are the best smoking part and the tops are the best are the tops, and the ones with the most crystals too.

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Coke, Pepsi, Bubba Cola, RC, or not cola at all? Hands down, no doubt nothing on Earth beats the REAL original Coca-Cola, but since they never really truly ever brought that back after that stupid "New Coke" debauchery. But even what they are calling 'Original Formula' is far better than any other alone. And Pepsi is absolutely horrible in a mixed drink. For that matter it's pretty bad in general.

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If you could bring back a famous figure from the past, Who would you choose & Why? I can seriously think of a great many I'd love to bring back, but by the same token my deep respect for them would make me pity them trying to comprehend what has changed both how and why. Nostradamus, mainly to try to figure out just how much he really did know and how and why, without him having to deal with the persecution that made him wrap his predictions in such mystery. ...

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What do men find most attractive in a woman? I'd like to reiterate Sweet T's VERY valid point that as for me personally there are few things I find more attractive in a woman than ME!

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Is it OK if "I drink your milkshake!"? Um I might not "get it" but you are a cool dude and all, but if that's a sexual reference to an interest in ME you'd best back the hell on up!

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Would you rather be Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook creator - billionaire) or LeBron James (NBA superstar)? Piece of cake, I'd way rather be rich and not as famous than famous and not as rich. My ego could care less what the majority think of me, and if I were that rich I'd like nothing better than to do some good honest yet anonymous giving to charitable causes.

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Have you ever rode on a 'Duck Boat'? What city? Wisconsin Dells Wisconsin. It's also known as Lake Delton. It's a tourism town, the Ducks they use are former military issue, rehabbed and brought into service to tour some really beautiful parts of that area that the combo boat/bus is great for exploring.

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Ok..Old Tv series tag...Green Acres! Tag your it! Will you play? Get Smart Tag! Edit; as I got beat to the punch on Get Smart I'll try Hogan's Heroes, your it, NO tag backs!

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Would anyone like to join me in wishing the witty SABOTEUR a VERY happy birthday? You only turn erm....19 once! ;-) OMG!! 19? Gawd what I wouldn't give to go back to that point with even half of what I know now! Happy belated by a day. Which at that stage is more like between a week and a month, sorry!

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Is it true that it's better to be the owner of a lonely heart than the owner of a broken heart? Well as the owner of both due mostly to the second leading to the first, let me just say that whoever coined the phrase "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." might just not have had a F**KING clue from my perspective.

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Our lovely Lizzie the Pirate King Swann made it to Sage today.. and nobody even noticed!!! who would like to join me in congratulating her and hosting the biggest party on the 'Black Pearl' ever? Well first I get arrested saving her life. Then she sets the rum on fire. ...leaves me fed to the Krakken. So then what? They are just giving away the bloody title of Captain, so she gets THAT little feather in her cap. Then of course, an unfortunate series of events, entirely out of my control, and I still can't believe I did it, *I* made her King after 'all she'd done for...

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Do most of the national news stations in the US have a liberal spin when it comes to politics? Absolutely, the vast majority of all types of media in the U.S. are so extreme in their liberal spin and agenda that when a source such as say Fox News for example, tries to show anything even CLOSE to middle of the road they get crucified by the Left. Yes I HAVE heard more than enough ridiculous put downs and bashings of the network, but those that do are; 1)So biased they immediatley dismiss...

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AB hide and seek!! Answer with a members name then see if that member sees it and comments on it. Yo Vlad, can you see me?

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Why don't people kiss my ass too? I haven't got ALL day!

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What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Since I mostly DO already, I spend FAR FAR too much time on the Internet or at least on my PC in general.

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Are you able to ignore the orange dots next to "Answers" "Comments" and "Friends Q&A"? I find that as for comments it NEVER goes out even if I fish through every page of comments back to my start. Doesn't matter if I mark all as read, it'll come back on and be on regardless of new comments being there or not. Now judging from my VERY VERY lengthy friends list that I am honored by*) you wouldn't know I tend to sort of put off adding to it till I've seen a...

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What color is your AB badge? Mine is gray. gray

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. Lost In Translation... An Asian man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Asian man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The Asian man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less...

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. TOP TEN TIMES WHEN THE USE OF THE WORD f**k WAS APPROPRIATE: 10. "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima, August 1945 9. "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877 8. "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 7. "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 6. "How the f**k did you...

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Ever had an ich that just wouln't go away?? = P Yes and after shaving the affected area didn't work I got a ointment from the doctor that killed the little buggers!

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So I'm Pro-Bush, what you going to do now? Give you 5+ points for having the courage to admit it.

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What celebrity would you most like to see disappear? Hillary Rodham Clinton

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In a hopeless life threatning situation and friends lives on the line... would you sacrafice your life to try and save others? If all was truly that hopeless, and I had good reason to believe that there might be even a slight possibility others would survive by my sacrificing myself, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't hesitate at all.

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What souveniers do you buy from your vacation destinations? Define this concept of "vacation" if you will?

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How do i pass a piss test when im full of weed Can't be done, next question.

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AB has a new member named Christie. Would you like to take a moment to welcome her, and give her some tips to enjoy her time here? Welcome Aboard the Grand Adventure! I hope you like it here, an odd sometimes dysfunctional family. Be yourself but if you get under anyones skin I included a complimentary can of Troll spray. Use it sparingly, avoid eye contact, use in a well ventilated area, keep out of reach of children. Do not use if nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant. The manufacturer is not liable for misuse...

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What personality type are you? (I am an INFJ) I'm F.I.N.E. *For those not familiar with very humorous outtake from a movie it's F**CKED UP, INSECURE, NEUROTIC and EMOTIONAL I believe the movie was The Italian Job.

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Where do you live and do you like it there? Just West of Milwaukee Wisconsin U.S.A. And NO I don't like it much at all. Never in my life was I very fond of cold weather or winter. We DO have some pretty countryside in the outlying areas, that aside I don't see much to like about here.

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Will smith is loved by many & internationally famous. When you hear the name WILL SMITH what springs to mind? "You know what the difference is between you and me? ...I make this look GOOD!"

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Do you care as much about others as you do for yourself? I do tend to see others problems as more pressing to me and something I want to help with more than I seem to put into effecting improvements in my own life, yes.

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Did we forget to wish one our most awarded AB members Happy (3) yr anniversary?????? Happy Anniversary [[[[[[[....idne...]]]]]]]]]]] 3 yrs as of 2/25/08 YAY idne! good Lord girl THAT long? ((((((((((idne)))))))))) I'll still never forget when I first encountered Wonder Woman. Then of course came the glamor/starlet of the silverscreen phase. And now we have good honest "take me as I am" Rather refreshing, eh folks?

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground...

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Haven't we met? I get that a lot.

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Can you fIll in the blank? I like ___________, but I love________________! Head Screwing

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Other than a bed, sofa (couch), or the back of your car, where is the weirdest place youve ever done it ? ? A moving car in excess of 75 miles per hour. An Old fashioned wooden phone booth just off the dance floor of a Nightclub called The Safehouse on New Years. In an Elevator in a shopping mall near Christmas time. Just heads above water off a beach full of people. A Fitting room in a Kohl's Dept. store. A midday matinée of a PG comedy in a fairly full theater. A produce cooler of...

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Fur or anti-fur? Why? I'm not real big on fur, but I'm not completely against it either. A prissy bitch wearing a super pricey mink coat made from minks farmed for that kind of slaughter only is sick to me. A hunter who takes on the challenges of nature without too many technological assistances and creature comforts, who eats the meat and has some basic respect for the creature who's life he took...

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I'm having a party what will you bring? Well let's see how about RUM for starters, Whiskey Vodka I will NOT drink Gin or Tequila so don't ask me to bring them. anything else I missed? Can someone bring some things to mix any of these with? i.e. Coke, soda, Bloody Mary mix, etc.

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Today is my one year anniversary here on AB. Have I done anything FUN or helpful for you? Blessed be oh Queen of Bacon! Is that 365 days including PB time? LOL You crack me up quite often that alone is just one of your endearing qualities, but it means a lot to me, truly. We may not always agree on everything or even much, but I DO respect your NO Bull$h*t way of presenting your thoughts, far more than you may realize. Mostly I hope you find me not too offensive and somewhat...

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When you are feeling totally alone, who can you confide in to make you feel better? Zack, I've always sorta related to you, and admired you. Shoot me an Email at my addy posted on my profile. captjsparrow.was.scott(at)gmail.com of course @=at I'd like to assure you, you can confide in me if you'd feel the need.

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Capt Jack Sparrow and I are negotiating an alliance between the AB Jetpackers and AB Pirates. Will the Ninjas join us in an alliance for world domination (or at least domination of 0 deg longitude by 0 deg lattitude)? Remember, it's all for fun! Ok Adm. Nelson, You DO realize I'm not one to go takin' orders too well. I'm all for the allegiance though, much too much discord and squabbling in these hallowed walls of late. I was kinda curious if you are descended from the famous Admiral Nelson? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Nelson,_1st_Viscount_Nelson You of course know where my allegiance lies. ...the highest...

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Guys: Do any of you use this stuff? I thought it was a gag gift when I saw it. (see my answer please) Mighta come in handy the time I was fool enough to let the Ex shave me bare down there. To quote Dr. Evil "there is nothing quite like a shorn scrotum!" And for ME it was not in a good way at all! Nuthin worse on a hot day than having yer sack stuck to your thigh with sweat. TMI?

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Do you think that age of 23 is to late to start a new career? God I hope you are NOT serious. Most people who make all the decisions for their entire life before that Learn to regret it at least a little till they've lived a little of life. It's never too late, just think it through and weigh your options.

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For those of you who've been on AB longer... do you regret things you've done on AB in the past? Yes I have! Details? Not so much. My two Penalty Box violations, would do 'em all over again in a heartbeat!!! Although the first one was SO f'ing LAME!!!!! Have I perhaps earned more time in PB than I have done? Perhaps.

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What is your favorite kind of panties? Easily removed. ...oh, and ones that can't double as a pillow case would be good too!

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Why do people cheat on their partners? Why don't they just leave them? Well, in my case, I felt it was because to her I was less than significant. Regardless of the fact she is and was my whole world. If only I could show the world how much she assured me she felt the same about ME, I might feel a bit less stark raving MAD. But now I have NO choice but to let go... EDIT: Frankly I liked the way the GODDAMN Question was phrased originally, so why in the...

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Let's all welcome our new users from Airliners.net and wish them a good Answerbag time. Welcome aboard! What brings such a group to our little corner of the net? Can't say I've ever heard of 'em or know who they represent, but the more the merrier.

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Are boobs acceptable? Yes but the only way they are on me is if they aren't mine, savvy?

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Why did this get rejected, it is a parody? Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to your toes, can you tie them in a not, can you tie them in a bow? I'm not entirely certain how to respond to that. I do have an appropriate cartoon or two though. The3 first one I may have put up in the past, not real certain, but a certain Bagger had a bit of fun superimposing her own face in with a bit of photoshopping. The Bag definitely needs more folks with a sense of humor, that much is certain.

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Love is..... Eluding the hell out of me

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What is the funniest thing you have seen an animal do? How familiar are you with Old English Sheepdogs? My late buddy Tyler, pictured below, God rest his sweet soul. Anyway Tyler LOVED to just playfully and excitedly just run at a full gallop all around the back yard, in just a friendly playful maniacal that must be why they are good sheep herders. Well at a full run he scared up a rabbit that was ahead of him running in holy terror of certain...

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Which country should I move to if Clinton gets elected? Stormy since we are of the same mind, perhaps we can trust one another to go to see Australia together like I've always wanted. They seem like a few of them are better Americans than some that are here. I just always wanted to have a partner to watch my back in a situation like that, savvy?

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You have just won your dream car and a year's supply of fuel. All costs are covered in the prize. What's the car? There are faster and fancier by far but I like a bit of practical too. I would like a professionally lifted and Rally-Sport Racing modified Subaru Baja. Maneuverable, all wheel drive, sporty, responsive, seats four comfortably and enough truck bed to haul a little bit o $h*t.

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If you had to tatoo a message on your head what would you put? MUR TEG *letters reversed as well

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I use a towel for 2 weeks before washing. My frIend thinks it's disgusting, she gets a clean one every day. I say I am clean when I exit the shower and so is the towel. Please help and chime in with what you think is proper. I'm with you for the most part. A new towel each time is a HUGE waste of everything from money, to energy to resources to just the towels themselves. If you AREN'T coming out of a shower clean what are you doing in there? I'm really very anal about personal hygiene but not so obsessive compulsive as to waste the laundering of a towel after only one use out of a shower....

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Could the crucifix be considered a phallic symbol? Have you never seen The Exorcist with Linda Blair's disturbing scene of...um..."diddling" herself with a cross while possessed? Well your question had me curious and sure enough not only are there sites you can buy "Goth" crucifix dildos at, but sites of women recreating that scene minus the rotating heads and projectile vomiting I hope. I didn't look that far...

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My sister is crazy over horses; I've known a few women the same way. Is this a female thing? I've never seen a guy so worked up about horses. I love just about every type of animal and horses are NO exception. But I agree there is a big fanaticism far more prevalent in females than males. I have enjoyed riding many a time, but the abuse to the privates given by a full hard gallop might be one reason men find it less enjoyable.

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Do you prefer coffee or dinner for a first date? Either works pretty well for me, but neither is what I'd consider ideal. I'd prefer a nice but surprisingly empty bar, quiet yet social, your chance to share musical interests on the jukebox. A few drinks to ease the tension and jitters of first getting to know someone. Also good is a walk in a park, or a trip to a beach with a simple picnic in a cooler. I'm a coffee junky,...

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Have you ever spent a "pointless" day on AB where you only exchanged comments with other users without participating in Q & A? (I see a few people who do this.) I'm pretty sure I've done that more often than not. If I took this damn thing as seriously as some folks do it'd be more like a job than anything I'd enjoy. That being said the following might still be a slight exaggeration...

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What was your most embarrassing situation with a condom? Having such a hot and erotic moment that when I "peaked" I made a surprising instant comeback which led to an immediate "round two". Seeing no need to waste an already in place condom, I went to town with even more gusto than the first round. Upon withdrawing I discovered I'd slipped right out in moment of lessened swelling and increased fluids. Thus I ended up...

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Soda or Pop? Ant or Aunt? SwimSuit or BathingSuit? Soda, ant and swimming-suit.

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It was recently suggested on Main Stream Media channels (aka main news, fox, msnbc, cnn etc, etc) that the *main* reason Hilary Clinton is losing is because of sexism. What are your thoughts on this? I think for me personally I'd vote for a woman with all the right qualifications with NO problem. I can't speak for the rest of the country I'm sure there are still far too many that are sexist enough to think it should be a man's role. That being said I don't see why any of these sources feel the need to make such excuses for Senator Clinton. Could it be that...

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What is something your parents told you when you were little to get you to behave? "Do you want me to get the ruler?" Referring to a very thick and heavy brass ruler that had only inch markings on top and a thick rounded edge at the bottom, so aside from being very weighty it didn't flex in the least. It was usually put to use on a bare bottom firmly and repeatedly enough to assure sitting wasn't going to be an option for a good while. Of course the...

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Tonight's February 24th . 80th Academy awards are you watching it? I'd really probably get more satisfaction out of watching paint dry.

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Who on AB do you think you could date? Firstly all the very many flattering comments I've received here aside, I really think that many might find me a bit too annoying in "real life", honestly. That being said there is NO AnsweBagger even remotely close enough to me to date in any other respect than "cyber-dating". Not that I probably wouldn't leave my hometown with nothing left for me in it, in a...

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If you could date anyone in the world, who would it be? I'd much prefer, and could make a very long list. But I guess if pressed for just ONE... Jessica Alba

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What is the oldest television show you actually remember watching as a child? Wow tis is a good question but a lot tougher than it sounds for an old fart with a bad memory. And did you mean first run stuff or reruns? Probably Sesame Street, The Electric Company and Captain Kangaroo were some of the first things I watched.

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How important (on a scale of 10), are the 2008 Oscars to you? 0, nada zip zilch

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I need a name for my new puppy. It's a boy, mixed breed, very small, adorable, and feisty. Any suggestions for a name? See his picture in the answer box. Not the greatest but how about MiniMe?

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Why do people ask us what their partners are thinking? Well it is mostly due to not feeling secure in either asking or the answers given by a partner. This can stem form many thing from insecurity to fear of retribution from the truth hurting.

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Are you male, female, or both? Too male for some I'm told.

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If you were someone from the Fellowship of the Ring who would you be? Aragorn, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Pippin or Merry? I admired and related to Aragorn a lot. Not that I feel all that noble or worthy of being King. Nor actually do I think he did, which in many ways is what made him perfect first a love and respect for the people and humble enough to be benevolent.

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How many here have read "the Hobbit" ? a prelude to the lord of the rings trilogy? Heck yes read and loved it. Oddly it was required reading in 7th grade for me and I couldn't think of anything better at that point. I made me REALLY want to read and then I very much enjoyed THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. so much so I read it several times, and was very concerned the movies could do it NO justice. While the novels were better the movies did a remarkable job and I was...

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Whats the strangest thing you have ever seen a cat eat? I've seen a few pussies swallow whole wieners!

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What do you enjoy doing after you've had sex? Since nature cursed us guys with needing sleep after, to wrap her in my arms and get a good power nap in at least.

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Do you look better in photos or in person? I'm going with in person but I have good and bad days. I almost never like pics of me at all, I get robbed by camera's I swear.

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I am 46 years old. How much younger or older than me are you? Five years er younger, but feel 20 years older.

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Do you imagine that other users of answerbag are generally older than you, or younger than you? Hard to say it seems a few outrank me in age but I'd bet the majority are younger.

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The intelligent Arisztid is now a Maestro! Would you like to join me in congratulating him? And just HOW the HELL did I miss this SO long? Congratulations Arisztid, well done and way to go!

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What is the least demanding job you've ever had? When you found out there was so little challenge, did you want to leave or stay longer? a good friend was the production manager for a private franchise of ADT alarm systems. When he talked me into coming on board I was promised a very reasonable salary compared to any of the previous hourly wages I'd made up till that point. This was NOT a well organized or run company by a LOOOONG shot. So there were whole weeks that might pass that I was getting paid to sit around the...

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Where is the nearest calendar located in your home? If my cell phone isn't in my pocket or on my belt clip, it is almost never more than a arms reach away.

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What is the best anti-love song? I Hate Everything About You - You Three Days Grace Hate Me - Blue October

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Have you ever accidentally swallowed something you probably should not have? Only thing that comes to mind recently would be teeth. I'm sure as a kid the list was long, but I wasn't a lead paint chip eater(contrary to popular belief) and I also wasn't the type inclined to eating paste. The second one below is probably what my "loving" older siblings used to tell me...

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What is your favorite one-hit wonder? I loved this tune when it came out. Hell it's still pretty good compared to much I've heard since. Zebra Who's Behind The Door

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What is your favorite one-hit wonder? I've got too many to be able to call one a favorite. Here is Montrose w/ Rock The Nation.

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What is your favorite one-hit wonder? One thing that came to mind... Slade Run Runaway. Catchy but corny enough to see why.

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Okay.most of you know that I am not an American and not really interested in US Politics...BUT does Hillary Clinton not seem to be behaving a little more than desperately of late? I can't tell if I'm more delighted or disgusted but YES!

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Why did the N.Y. Times publish the piece on McCain and a lobbyist? It appears to be totally unsubstantiated. Because the New York Times has completely stopped trying to hide their extreme left-wing political agenda and will stop at NOTHING to attempt to sway politics in the direction they would like. The National Enquirer and it's "Aliens inseminated me with Elvis's seed!" type of stories are becoming far more credible than that pathetic rag. I'd consider The Onion more...

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What’s a memorable flaw of your first car? 1972 Buick LeSaber 4door BIG DAMN BOAT! It had a bad seal in the trunk, so when it rained it would fill up like a portable jacuzzi. this of course sagged the springs in the back to the point this big bad cruiser cornered like a boat too, nose high and rolling into the curves. I once had myself and 6 high school girls in it doing about 110mph and climbing till it was obvious I'd have...

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What would be a really bad name for an AB level? Scumbag Numbnuts Private Pyle BrownStain JellyDoughnut *all are thanks to the inspiration of R. Lee Emery from his role in Full Metal Jacket.

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What is your nomination for the worst horror movie? Oh man the absolute turd I'm thinking of is SO very bad it cracked me up that they were foolish enough to make a sequel. I mean insultingly bad so bad I can't even be certain of the name, Final Destination or some $h*t like that. A group of High School students on a class trip, narrowly avoid getting on the doomed flight they were all "destined" to die on because one...

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What are your dogs called? Tyler, my first dog is no longer with us, after 14 great years his hips were so bad he couldn't get around any more. first 2 pics. Old English sheepdog Wrigley my current dog I guess is over two now, how time flies. He still thinks he's a puppy. He's a Soft-coated Wheaton Terrier.

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Barack Obama seems on the express train to the Oval Office. Does it trouble you in any way that his ideals are almost perfectly aligned with those of Karl Marx? Yes it most certainly does! I know many will think I'm a chauvinist for some of my views of Hillary, but nothing is farther from the truth give me a qualified woman candidate and one that may not be so I'm right behind THAT her all the way. There too I'm no racist, I think it is high time for someone besides a the "White guy" to represent out country. THAT being...

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Should gay couples be permitted the right to equality through marraige or civil unions? (treat that as two questions) Ask it as two questions I might just answer both. To me this is not far removed from do you like Nascar or Bullfighting Edit:If you are going to judge this answer, be my guest, but if you do NOT see my point then read my comment(below) that elaborates enough to decide if you truly like, hate or have no opinion of my answer. Then JUDGE AWAY!

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Will you please join me in wishing the fabulous Retroglide the most happy of birthdays? Mostly I'm just glad ol' Smiley is back on the Bag, whatever limited fashion it may be. So what are ya gal, 27? 28? Timeless anyway you look at it! Happy Birthday Retroglide!

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Do you like cold weather? I hate it with a passion, I was born for summer or full time dry heat not humidity.

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I started gyming 2 days ago and my muscles are really stiff and sore. Do you know of anything I can do to ease the pain? Drink water like it's going out of style to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate and wash down a few Advil or Tylenol, and keep stretching. Don't overdue the workout but keep it up and eventually you won't notice it as much or at all.

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Who likes chips, what kind? Sun chips Garden salsa or French onion, hell the cheddar are good too. Once in a while Dill pickle potato chips or vinegar and sea salt, or barbecue if I'm in that mood.

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Does anybody hate subway? I won't go so far as hate but the "value" sucks, never enough meat for the dollar. and the taste? Even the "new" Suburpia subs blows them out of the water, if the original ones were still around Jared would be running a third shift in a convenience store.

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Do you enjoy watching tv? Very rarely at all. And how can anyone stand to watch anything anymore when there is more commercial than show? Not to mention how mindless TV has become. I've wondered if the writers strike continued if America might start to show signs of increased intelligence. Either from an increase in reading, Internet research or just not having their I.Q.s shrunk by the same old drivel.

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Is your cell phone a razor or a slider? If so what color? Mine is neither, I think Motorola makes junk, had far too many of them and they don't last. My carrier stopped carrying Nokia, so my current one is a dark brown Samsung U520

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How old were you when you learned how to use the computer? Well I'm 41 now and still have far too much to learn to feel at ease that I've mastered a damn thing about it.

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Do you believe in chivalry, or that men and women should treat each other the same? I still believe chivalry is not dead. But sadly mostly on life support. As my friend and comrade Captain William Turner once said;"No cause is lost so long as one fool remains alive to fight for it!" Of course HE was run through by Davy Jones's sword.

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Do you think you could have handled watching the towers come down on 9/11? (I am still scarred) I saw the very first TV news reports when it was all still so unclear. I will never forget...

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"BOO" did I scare you? ZOINKS!!! Like YA SURE DID! Didn't he Scoob? Now ya owe us some Scooby Snacks!

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Did you get your pet from a shelter or from a pet store/breeder? Wrigley, my little bundle of fluff, is from a Breeder in Indiana and a gift from my sister. (if it'd been up to ME to name 'im it woulda been Chewbacca!) Note the last two are not my Wrigley but undoubtedly the same breed which is a Soft-coated Wheaton Terrier.

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My wife gave birth to a Chinese baby (we are both Caucasian). She says she did not cheat on me, but that every fifth child born today is Chinese. Should I be suspicious? Ok so I got here too late for the Sum ting Wong and Creme of Sumyungguy bits which of course first came to mind. but might I at least offer up a somewhat relative cartoon to the subject?

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Men: Which accessories do you wear? Women: Which accessories do you prefer a man to wear? I think of accessories as strictly a woman's thing.Both my job and lifestyle aren't to conducive to a lot of unnecessary "crap" I NEED a cellphone for work and to be reached on the go and the weird hours and places I work. So for that I'm freed up of the need for a watch which is at least a practical man's accessory. I just don't like 'em getting in the...

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What would you do if i walked up to you and kissed you on the cheeks? Grin, thank you and begin to wonder just what the hell you wanted. Sorry I'm getting a bit too cynical in my old age.

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Was your Valentine's Day just another day or was it a special day. Less special than just another day but thanks for asking.

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What would you do if everything you touched turned into Skittles? How would you answer the phone? Well since I'm not that fond of Skittles by a long shot and since I couldn't blow my brains out with a gun turned into Skittles, I guess I'd have to figure out how to commit suicide by Skittles consumption or find some cliff or the like to jump off of. I guess trying to drown myself would even suck since it'd all become Skittles, eh?

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If u found paris in ur bathroom naked what would u do? I'd look for her little gem encrusted pink cell phone and anonymously call 911 to get her stomach pumped cuz that uptight pretentious little stuck-up C**T would gave only have wound up there accidentally having gotten too wasted. then high tail it out of there. Once that was underway find out how much I could make out of an exclusive from the Enquirer or any of those other rags. And...

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Do you think you are important? Not in the least.

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If your friend invited you to church, would you go? Sure

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Would you rather be the driver or the passenger? If I'm well rested and traffic ain't bad driver all the way! LOOOONG trip, good/trustworthy driver in a roomy comfy car, and I can nap? probably passenger.

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If you could be a donut what kind would it be and what would it be filled with? Um, cream filled, wanna try some ladies?

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Pick a card, any card. What is the first card that comes to mind? Jack of Diamonds

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What's one thing you miss about being a teenager? If you are a teenager, what will you miss? That sorta invincible feeling like if the world gives you half a chance they ain't seen nuthin' yet!

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Would it freak you out if someone walked up to you on the street and said "OMG you're XXX from AB"? Ya know I toyed around with the notion of a very similar question... "Say you were sitting alone at a bar waiting for a table or friends, and the person next to you just seemed SO damn familiar. Then it dawned on you;(me for example) "Oh MY GOD! That has GOT to be Capt. Jack Sparrow from AB!"(or pick your own, no matter) Would you delve into introducing yourself? Or would you...

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What are the full lyrics to the Pirates of the Caribbean song "Yo, Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me"? We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot. Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho! Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack. Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho! Maraud and embezzle and even hijack. Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho! Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's...

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Do you quote movies?... To joke?... For how long after the movie was big? List some of the quote you, yourself, use... OMG!Well aside from my Jack "persona" here that I try to incorporate a lot of lines from POTC into, HELL yes! Everything from Airplane the movie, to Stripes to Ghostbusters and Caddyshack just to name a few. And plenty more from Looney Tunes to you name it. Try this I'll make a list and anyone can play along in the comment thread as to where they are from ok? YOU...

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Guys for us nosey ladies what is the standed amount of time you can keep an erection for? No such beast as a standard there. I've seriously gone through over four straight solid hours of giving a gal(The former love of my life) the best possible use of a good stiffy you can possibly imagine. It was the most memorable sex I ever had. It was amazing things never "dried up". Neither one of us could walk right the next day, but I think we both had goofy grins plastered...

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Why are people so against people who use pot every once in a while? They act as if all of us Cannabis smokers are stupid, are you one of those people who dispise people who enjoy smoking marijuana? Government sponsored propaganda. Are you aware that the campaign against it including the ridiculously lame movie REEFER MADNESS was a racist intent to try to thwart illegal Mexican immigration into the U.S.? Worked out just "super" didn't it? The actors in the movie seem more strung out on PCP or heroine than anything weed ever did t to anyone. Most first time user rarely...

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If i walked up to you and poured chocolate syrup all over your brand new dress/suit, what would you do? If you were a guy I'd drill your teeth through the back of your throat. With a female, I'm not too sure how I'd react exactly but I assure you it wouldn't be pretty. Why in the HELL would you even consider doing something so asinine?

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Who is your favorite star wars character? Han Solo What's not to like? Captain,Rouge, Pirate, Scallywag, Reluctant Hero, not too far different that ol' Jack. Below is an excerpt from a site devoted to him that sums it all up pretty well... Han is overly confident and arrogant. He possesses a wry, sarcastic wit, and a reckless manner. This often gets him into predicaments that only his foolhardy courage can get him out of....

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According to this quiz... which Star Wars character are you? http://www.quizilla.com/users/bluehawk/quizzes/Which%20Star%20Wars%20character%20are%20you?/ Apparently I'm my own former arch-nemesis; Bobba Fett. Go figure, I was pretty sure I'd be Han Solo going in, but I saw little to no relevance to how the questions were to fit the outcome. Perhaps my sense of silly for the sake of silly is broke?

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Are there some tv commercials that just turn your stomach? Yes every one of the the commercials that "Demonize" marijuana and marijuana usage with not only poorly supported untruths but flat out lies. And yet when was the last time you saw an ad against Meth-amphetamines(sp?) crack, cocaine, heroin or the many others in a long list of TRULY dangerous and deadly drugs that people abuse regularly. As if that isn't insulting enough,...

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Who loves Pirates of the Caribbean? I can never find an enthusiast that is as crazy about it as I am! I must say I'm rather fond of all of 'em. I admit my favorite was the first one, but I did like 'em all.

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Alcohol is the answer. What was the question? Yes, but why is the rum gone? And what in the HELL happened to me 'ead?

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Can I wish all those who are alone, like me on Valentines Day, a Very Happy Valentines Day & hope you enjoy your day. Remember, sometimes being alone is better than being w/ Mr/Mrs. Wrong Thanks Lisa, and right back at you! As someone who spent FAR too many VD days alone even when I was supposedly "in" a relationship.(Not by MY choice.) Painful as my recent breakup was by finding out I was just cheated on, betrayed and lied to. I AM painfully coming to realize that I am indeed far better off alone than continuing to be hurt and treated so cruelly. My best to you in...

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Have you always been a loser in love? Most definitely! I've felt like a winner in a lot of situations, but in the end the fall was WAY harder to take than the good feelings of the time were worth. I don't think whoever came up with the quote; "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" Knew what the F**K they were talking about from experience

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On the 3rd movie of Pirates of the Caribbean what is Captain Jack Sparrows' fathers Name? Captain Teague (or dear ol' Dad as I call 'im.)

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What was the purpose of cylipso in pirates of carrebian 3, and why she got released? She is the one that created the Maelstrom(whirlpool) that pulled the Dutchman and thus Jones to the depths of his own Locker. Granted stabbing the heart of Jones is what ultimately did him in, but the distraction and effect of the fury of her storm kept the superior firepower of the Dutchman's guns from blowing the Pearl apart before those ends could be met. And also allowing the still...

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What is your favourite pirates of the carribean quote? Jack Sparrow: [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody well is now. [Seeing Norrington's ship off shore] Jack Sparrow: There'll be no living with her after this.

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Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then. An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. 'So what do you think about that Doc?' The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. ...

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Is Facebook lame yet? It's going that way fast in my opinion, as is Fanbox

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Have you ever fallen going UP the stairs? Oh HELL yes! So many times I've had a number of breaks in each of my big toes from my younger days of being in too much of a hurry. So NOW I have horrible arthritis in both feet from my clumsy youth.

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What do you think of the saying "if yo've got it fluant it?" Do you? You forgot one very important thing mate... I'm Captain Jack Sparrow

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Can anyone post the Avril Lavigne "Girlfriend" video for me please? I can if you don't mind the "Sparrow-ized" version.

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Question for the staff: Does AB have a plan to crack down on the use of sock puppets? With all the outright corruption in the way the AB system is run I seriously doubt it unless a puppet effects or offends one of the "members in favor". I should admit that somehow or some way I'm either not worth the effort or have a "guardian angel" of some odd sort I'm not aware of. I mention this due to the fact that in my now year here I only did 24 easy...

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Can you sleep when a cricket is in your house? I agree it's got to be one of the most annoying noises when your trying to sleep, and I'm sure my tune would be different another time of the year. But I honestly would enjoy the sound right now over this lousy winter weather that has all of them dormant round these parts. Try sleeping where me and my posse used to camp once a year, the sound of loud croaking frogs is deafening at a...

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Your first name: Love it or hate it? Too simple, too complicated, too rare, too common, just perfect? There were 6 guys with my first name in most of my grade school days. Far too common for my liking but then I'm not too big on really extremely uncommon names either. Two I might have picked for myself Micheal(extremely common) and Jack, I like that one because my father was born Jack but had to convert to John to be baptized. So in his honor I had once hoped to name a son that, but the...

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Will you describe your "Happy Place"? My happy place was merely an illusion based on deception of the love of my life that I apparently never knew at all, now that the smoke and mirrors are revealed I don't know that I'd know one if I was ever able to find one.

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Can you give me a phrase or catch phrase that totally describes you? So many choices so little time. I guess unless I list 'em all these two T-shirt slogans say ME best.

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What was your first job like?(did you hate it, love it, or no comment or what) I was a Stockboy in an independently owned Pharmacy at age 14. Mostly no comment, mostly to have any any money at all to be able to hang with my peers I had to work, which of course cut down drastically on my ability to hang with my peers.

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Those who find women attractive only: I love women who can combine hot&sexy with smart&funny so I think if facing my own death if granted a last request; a 3-way with Tina Fey and Sara Silverman would allow me to go happy. Agree? Can you think of better? not even sure if Break.com stuff will embed right here but...I'm going home is right, dating Kimmel? she might smell.

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The lovely and witty Andy777 has just become a Maestro...would you please join me in congratulating her on this achievement and having a slice of pie? Congratulations Andy 777, Well deserved! Best of luck with your Maestro-ship!

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STOP...........!!! our own POLICE .. IN HOT PURSUIT has just made SAGE! Would you like to drop by and give him a high five??? CONGRATULATIONS LAPD xxxxxxx Great! Just Great! The last thing a pirate wants to hear is that the Constable is getting wiser! How's a pirate s'pposed to to ear a dishonest living, eh?

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I've just finished a very large project dedicated to all you Answerbaggers, would anyone like to see my masterpiece? I'm not bitter to not have made the first round one for 07, but if I'm worthy of the new one and this'll be any help, I've a few fav avatars to submit if you can help me decide? I truly don't expect more than one but the Got Rum one is MY favorite one but then...

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Would you mind if I gave myself a pat on the back for getting more that 1000 points today? Holy $h*t! how'd ya do that? Congrats!

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Another GURU, YAY Ed the Headbanger Jetpacking, will everybody CHEER? Rock on Ed! Sorry I'm late only just saw this.

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