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I accidentally wore a T-shirt that said "Don't freak! I'm a Sikh!" on 9/11. Do you see the funny side or find it offensive? No, for I am a fan of Shilpa Shetty.

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Why is FarmVille more popular than Twitter? Need a pair of wellington boots to take photos for twitter, better laziness coefficient for FV.

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Does it make me a horrible person to be thinking of ways to spend a parent's money while they're still alive and not even sick? Yes, so you should look at committing a mild case of life insurance fraud to lift your mood.

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Chicks and gays, who's hotter, Luke Skywalker or Anakin Skywalker? My mate looks like Luke Skywalker, and he can hold his own in a fight with a ferret. Does that count?

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If we humans could rid of greed, would Communism be the best form of government? Not if it means waking up with a killer potato vodka hangover and hunger for a full fried breakfast with a side salad precariously planted on top on a daily basis until ramadan.

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My boyfriend mocked me after sex its the first time he has done this and thinking about it he points out my faults this makes me insecure ! bin him

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Have you ever miss-represented your sexual preference or desires? No although people in general enjoying speculating on that of others.

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"White people" R fuck up race,fake, jealous of every other race whatevr other race have yah want it. Why? Girl are you serious.

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What does it mean if all you want to do in life is not work, still get paid be alone most of the time and watch tv and go hiking in private? Maybe your stalkee has an agenda of which you have not been informed for reasons of national security or worse still.

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If Lady Gaga told you she wanted sex, would you tell her you did too, but saw no reason to drag her into it? Not 'alf. I'd go all Sooty and Sweep on her ass.

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Would any straight guys here be a sex servant for a rich gay man for 6 months for five million dollars? Paid upfront into an offshore account you can take whatever you want mate but count me out except for the finders fee.

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Identify and describe at least 5 qualities that your ideal partner or mate would possess. Mos Definately: - Slender - 28-35 - Good knowledge of flower arranging - Hispanic or N.African - Who cares

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Best Linux Distro For My Specifications? DSL.

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How many of you have a facebook account and do you use it alot? I don't have one I'm happy here.

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I'm a 14 yr old girl looking for a short scene to perform in class with my friend. Could you recommend a site with free scripts online? May I suggest you do a Google search yourself as this place is a bit wild.

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What is a "blipvert?" a damaged pixel on your monitor what went luminous.

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Looking for a movie. In the end the main dude goes to a farm where tha bad guy is with his family. Then later a trailer falls from a bridge Must be a trashy kind of movie, can't say I ever heard of it.

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What's more important, looks or brains? Please don't say "both or neither". Looks. Because looks can hide brains better than brains can hide looks.

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Is it just me...or is a "penny for my thoughts" downright insulting? Only if you're standing there with your mouth open catching flies.

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Single Ladies who live in AZ, would you closed mouth kiss a stranger, let him feel your legs & butt for $500 ages 18-35? Or $200 36-45? Be careful ladies, the price dropping each and every day

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If it takes me a longer time to cum when my girlfriend is giving me a handjob rather than me just jacking off, is that unusual? Change girlfriend, bwo.

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my dog has been leaking one spot on my rug, it has turned into a black circle of approximately 12inches, will this stain come off ?

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Why do people think Im gay just because Im a male who wears thongs? Just cos you feel good doesn't make it right.

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whats the best way to swim? Ensure you are almost completely surrounded by water of ambient temperature.

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I am currently pursuing MBA in correspondence. How should I study effectively ? Simply pretend you have had 14 hours of lectures per week from which you would have recalled little, and do your corresponding reading each day or so. Then look at your coursework deadlines and divide each assignment into parts i.e. write 300 words per day so you finish 3,000 in a couple of weeks, in time for zero stress. At the end of the year you will succeed due to basic flawless plan.

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Should Jehovah's witnesses be allowed to go door to door? Sure, as long as they try to sell something tangible, like a mop.

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If Gilbert Arenas took a dump in your shoes, would you shoot him? No, I would rub that cat's nose in the shit and kick him out into the street.

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if you think black people are hot beacuse they are black, is that racist? Only some people of each race are hot. Cold hard fact.

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Are hot looking women vain and conceited? Sometimes, but more often than not they are pleasant and strange creatures completely detached from reality.

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Would you rather be a homosexual or a rascist? A homophobic African.

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What would be the best way to raise myself to 'legend' status among my friends? Pay for a round of beers already!

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what does a 39 yr old man think when he is having sex with a 20 yr old girl younger than him? "I wonder how much this is gonna cost?"

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Does it seem like English is my first language? You're one of those German/Dutch types, right!?

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Is truth in advertising getting out of hand? http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Gross/anus_beef.jpg Waist not want not eh.

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What does it mean when a guy rejects a girl 3 times on Facebook? She's a stalker and he's more interested in having YOU as a friend.

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What is a good way to remember the year 1992? It briefly preceded 1993.

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a few months ago i had a relationship in which the woman dumped me now i cant get over it how can i Try to move on by finding someone else to date.

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What is the difference between trunk and torso? Are they just alternate names for eachother? You could put a torso in your trunk, but probably not vice-versa.

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Why is a diamond ring so important to a marriage? So when it's not good enough, or gets lost, a better one must be purchased for kiss-and-makeup purpoises.

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im confused y does no go want to date me i have a 6 pack abs strong everything no show off and very nice and kind Are you a hick? Maybe you should come out a bit and lose the checked shirt and cap. That would do wonders for your street cred.

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Are you worshipping a statue of Barack Obama right now? There's a miniature statue of the Buddha on top of the radio, from whence Obama's name is mentioned once per day.

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What is the most unappreciated object? Your alarm clock as it just starts to RING.

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I know this is stupid... but what does the 'report' button do on social networking sites? It will grass someone up for misconduct.

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Why do girls stick out their tongues whenever their is a camera on? It's an emo-slut MySpace fad.

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You have to choose to have sex with either a 400 lb woman (she's on top) or a gay guy, which one would you choose (straights only please). I'll have a shot on the half-tonner.

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What are "enhanced interrogation techniques?" "Okay, I'll see you next week at the same time then?"

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Why do some people pronounce the letters TH as F... As in love you to deff instead of death???? London dwellers accents. It's not right.

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How would you feel if Gilligan and the Skipper invited you out for a three dollar whore, a three dollar whore? Fucking delighted although would upgrade to 7 dollar monkey wrencher.

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How would you feel if Lady Gaga showed up at your door with a bunch of literature about how to worship Satan? Point her in direction of Church of Scientology which curiously is 1k from here.

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do you get wedgies alot? i do Potato wegdes are gr8 with mayo.

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What is more dangerous than smoking? bolting over a bridge in the knack.

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A guy phoned saying my PC was generating malware and error reports. I cut him off as it sounded like a scam. What do you think? It does sound suspicious. Maybe had you not cut them off, they would have tried to sell you an antivirus or other security application. Make sure you are using a recent one but source it youself from one of the main players, not some shyster coldcaller.

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If a major catastrophe was imminent, what 3 things would be essential to have? A United Nations uniform. Big fat surf board.

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When you take a woman for dinner and middle she keeps on answering the cell phone you would think of her for next date? Rude bitch, wtf is voicemail for.

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Whats one thing that excites you? Football and birds.

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How many people do you know that are mechanically inclined but lack common sence? Most skateboarders.

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Hundreds of years ago most people died before they reached age 45, so why did alot of famous people like Sir Issac Newton live to be 84! They read the bible so were good at exaggerating digits.

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Do you eat a lot of food, to be fat? No, sheer greed is enough to maintain my feline shape.

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Will you miss Blockbuster Videos when they go away? No, I will buy Mr. Kiplings tea cakes and watch tv intead.

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Have you ever done surveillance work? What does this job entail? wifi tapping and hlr distortion.

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what does it mean when a wolf is chasing you (in your dream) and you grab it behind the neck like a puppy and throw it? The year of the dog refuted.

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What's it mean if a guy offers to give you his shoes ? It means that, somewhat worryingly, he knows your shoe size. These boots are made for walkin'!

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How would you feel if your partner told you you need to watch porn to learn how to have sex? I'd tell her she needs to watch the Lottery to see how to earn money.

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i am 16 years old not done growing and my penis is 5 1/2 inches. how much bigger will it be in my lifetime? According to binary calculations, it should be almost 2 feet long, although 90% impotent, by your 64th birthday. Keep it real!

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How to delete a quetion you post in answer bag? You can't delete as it is a front for some data collection agency!

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How come so many people here add you as a friend and NEVER reply to a greeting? Never answer a message? Are they just adding to get numbers? Most of them left or are not human profiles. There are some people left that are not fanatics.

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Is there anybody that can help me decode some binary codes messeges sent by aliens I need help from a real expert Show 'em to a dolphin down the zoo, then watch its reactions. Surely you could decrypt that as the message will now be from Earth.

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im 17, i hate how my mother treats me like a child! Simply behave more like an eleven year old, those always want to appear adult.

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who thinks that i ask good questions Unbelievable question.

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How can I become a full on slut at age 15? Write a slut application for Twitter.

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Anyone got any ambitions for going into space ? Do they serve cheese cake up there?

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Massive solar storm to hit Earth in 2012 with 'force of 100m bombs.What can be the consequence? A statistical error, three blushing scientists and a delighted sectarian guru.

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Forget the chicken..Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because there was a pot of nutella on the other side.

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Am I the only one who when I hear the term "cyber sex" thinks of Robocop with a condom? That is some fucked up shit.

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What are the early warning signs of your kid being gay? it's got a smile on its face.

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Do any women in New Jersey over the age of 18 have the guts to kick me in the balls as hard as they can? I doubt any kicking ass bitch in N.J. could even reach my bollocks, for I live in the U.K. How about that!

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How do you get banned from Answerbag.com? you wont

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Why did Steve Jobs ruin my life? You were sucked in by fruitful advertising when all you had to do was open a window.

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Anyone work in a fast food drive thru? Notice how freakin ignorant most people are? Don't take it personally. They're surrounded by backseat drivers with no cash for burgers.

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(be a psychologist)From a "Humanistic Perspective" what questions would you ask a woman who has anxiety about leaving her home? What conditions would need to be fulfilled to guide her to somewhere else.

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How can i get a girl who i have never met to send me a picture of her boobs? Pretend to be a modeling agency.

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Do you think the US should abolish all immigration, since the country is already overpopulated and getting worse? No. It's not overpopulated. Did you see the total area of the US, it's huge? Okay, so the politicians just compare landmass and population with Canada, but the UK,Japan and India are real examples of overpopulated nations with limited resources.

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Define Madness! A persistant fracture in coherence of thought.

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How do you let a person know they have bad body odor? email them a picture of a desert weasel.

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I don't get it. America is made up of illegal immigrants: everyone except the native Americans. So why is everyone so upset? They don't understand each other so they just stand there flapping their arms in frustration until they find someone elses God.

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If you lie to win you're a loser.... if you tell the truth and lose you're a winner. Which is better...winning Loser or losing Winner? Depends on the game: Sport, cards, war, chess

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how do i tell this homophobic guy to get the *** out of my face? Seems like you both want to spend the night together.

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How to resize partition??? You could also look at an app. called GParted which you burn to disk and run from boot.

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What is the mimimum acceptable age for a girl to have sex with a 60 yr. old man? Ninety-five.

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Fill in the blank.......:I am a puppy and I can_____? most feasibly back one out on your rug before you catch me.

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How low of an I.Q. do you have to have to be interested in a so-called "sport" which only involves driving around in circles i.e. NASCAR? Since this universe might spin partly in circles I should assume at least 180, which rules me out as a linear thinker with an I.Q. of 90mph.

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Where on Earth is it too cold to snow? and it's been recently proven. Borat territory.

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Elephant or 12 grizzly bears? Do the grizzlies have "piranha mode"??

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do i have to change my religion to marry someone of another religion?? It would be nigh-on impossible to marry someone of another religion and culture if both families were in the same country although it sometimes works for stalkers.

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what do you think of the name Constance? It's ok, the only time I heard it was on that TV soap The Colby's about 20 years ago. Some 80 year old biddie... Or the city of Istanbul in Turkey used to be called Constantinople so don't travel there too quickly.

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You ever think your time is wasted being here?why? Yes. Answers are addictively collected as data for artificial intelligence models to be used in advertising, mind control, new age religion etc. Probably. Either that or it's an Apache server about to fall over!

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Why is "Consuelo" a girl's name? Shouldn't it be the feminine form, "Consuela?" Because it means scrubber.

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Can you speak any language other than English? If yes, what is it, and how did you learn it? Frog and Portugnol, learned by going out with dodgy birds.

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How do you control someone who throws things when angry? Teach them how to throw a baseball.

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Has the philosopher who said "to see is to believe" forgotten something else? To experience is to hope to be able to forget!

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When Tiger Woods was diagnosed with sex addiction and he gave up sex, his golf game collapsed. Any connection? Maybe he couldn't see the wood for the trees.

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In what manner were you ever insulted by anyone or saw anyone do it to others? Absense of words can be crueller than any verbal intervention.

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What are the benefits of war? You mean there's ever been peace? Seriously. 1/ Only superficial news in the papers 2/ Sky high consumer confidence in objects which no-one has money for except unobtainable credit for houses and super availability of credit for crap. 3/ Free healthcare poison for all to motivate/fund the above. 4/ Almost free travel to culturally unadapted places at the wrong time of year 5/ Free goatherding...

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Why do humans think it is one thing that creates a movement when it is one thing that breaks the camel's back that creates a movement? The people that get swept up in movements ignore its causes until decades later, thus a shortage of camels.

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what is your first thought when I say burger king? Unbelievable scran but too far too walk given the weight/calorie loss ratio.

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what do I tell my wife to do when she is getting close to orgasm so she can squirt? Eastenders is on BBC1

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Does your Patter Really Matter Only if you live in Glasgow!

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Best free graphic programs? Try the GIMP. like a cut-down opensource Photoshop.

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Do you agree that homosexual guys are good looking? The women they lay certainly seem to think so.

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URGENT: Why does my vagina itch? Air humidity level is too low.

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Do you think the american modeling industry should stop showing air brushed people and show their flaws? Wouldn't be much future for the North American Strokers Convention, eh?

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Can your gf learn sex technique from a porn film you like? Will you suggest she look at it? Holograms can't learn yet.

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Have you ever peed in the sink at work? No, it worked better the other way.

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If you tell someone that you are on medications for certain things and they don't listen, are they being influenced by others? They're likely using empathy then their own way of trying to help.

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What does Emo mean? I asked 2 users no one will tell me, is it something bad? Emo is lush.

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For me,U.S.A has lost the war, big time, What do you think?? Not 3 hours ago I purchased Coca Cola, symbol of capitalism and globalization, from a store which was most likely of Muslim ownership. And this not 500 yards from a probable masonic structure! Such romantic paradoxes.

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If Democrats are so cool with Muslims and think they're totally okay then how come they get so offended when people call Obama one? For the same reason that if someone called you a Kazakh Mongol you'd likely be pissed. It's wrong.

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Some women believe they only have value in society if they have a man...especially one who wants to marry them. Why is that? Conflicting tradtion with consumer society and general sluttery.

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How do you get a crooked lawyer in trouble ? haven't heard that one before.

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i have been having sex with a guy and he pulls out everytime but is there still a chance of me getting prego?? even if a little drip? Spray and display ain't gonna cut it.

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Is the only thing Twitter is good for is insulting celebrities? Is twitter that milf dating site?

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Why does a big wig bully lie and say I french kissed her when I can't stand her at all & I'm a heterosexual married Christian female? She's probably not lesbian and only said it to wind you up. Simply get revenge or forget depending on your personality.

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what do you think of my site It's one of the best I've seen.

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Appropriate??? See my description. Inappropriate. Simply cancel the rdv, but for the love of God do not cut your own hair.

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I've have had really bad dreams for months now. I only sleep about three hours in total every night, what is wrong w/ me??? If you are really suffering you should see a qualified doctor, not some Eastern guru quack that will make it worse.

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Programs that don't open files that contain foreign characters in their name or path. How to fix it? You'll probably have to reconfigure UTF-8 or Unicode headers.

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Why do people ask questions here and get all pissy when you don't agree with them? Because they stole the question in the first place.

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If your wife attacks you and you hit her are you now a woman beater because you should have restrained her? If you hadn't been forced to react, would you be here today is what you should be asking.

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Which religion can be proven? None, that's why there are so many.

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Have you ever played nun roulette? 400 churches in this village and only ever seen cucumber carts.

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How many of you actually herd yourself, when you taught it was GOD speaking to you? The mind is a powerful tool! And miraculously realised I'd left the radio on softly last night.

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why would anyone eat food after it fell on the floor? Because the floor was clean enough to eat your dinner off of.

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If you could snap your fingers and magically every illegal alien would be gone from the entire USA what do imagine would happen the next day? The economy would collapse and the ex-USSR would declare war on Florida Keys.

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I don't get this joke. Is it about anal sex or something?: "What do you call two gay Irish men? PatrickFitzgerald and GeraldFitzpatrick." Yes, butt if they went to France they be FITZPATRICKGerald and FITZPATRICKGerald, therefore schizophrenic namesakes, not gay.

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I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? One mans work is another mans play. Not sure about hookers.

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are you fasting this month? I am stuffing myself like a pig, but should my muslim friends pass, I shall feast upon halal delicacies.

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How to deal with ignorant rednecks? Serious answers only please Educate them to help them fulfil their potential at the cost of the prowar taxpayer.

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Complete the sentence: I wish people would_____________more, but instead they______. drink - smoke

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Which chapters of the New Testament would you be most interested in studying if the entire NT was tattooed on a young lady (or man)'s body? Any one if it were looked at in the mirror would lead to my starsign +1

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Does anybody know a guy they call CHATA? He's also known as phenomenal banter.

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SEVEN INCH HEELS!!!!!!!!!!!? Size 14 feet and you'd pull it off in fiiine style.

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Guys: If you masturbate like...idk once a day. What happens if you stop for a week? You'll be chipping your kegs off by the time you go for Sunday service.

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is having clear sticky sperm with white in it normal and could you get someone pregnant if it's like that Can't answer that as there's a Mr T advertisement influencing me.

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Why is coffee sooo good? Because it has absolutely no effect on stress until you've had ten cups?

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is there such a job as a cryptozoologist? Simply flash a card with the number 10 written on it in front of a zebra.

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Why won't my friends hang out or write me on IM anymore? Try going out for a pint with them unless they got families already.

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Is there a platform where I can showcase my business idea? A University or Chambre of Commerce.

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i feel like i am losing respect. what could be happening? 1/ For yourself: You're second guessing what others think 2/ For others: You're observing others like sheep 3/ For everyone: Move house

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Cant be that hard to walk in 6 inch high heels for a day? If I were to wear those mofos, my heid would be through the bus roof and my legs would be bandy like a baby gazelles!

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What comes to mind when you hear the phrase "farmer's daughter"? Slapper.

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Would you be willing to pay for someone to love you? No, just a clause in the arrangement to fine them if they take the piss.

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How would you know if you are being hypocritical? Could realise at the time although more likely later through questioning self.

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Are YOU living your life as a Robot? Too bored.

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Complete the sentence: Things could have been different, if only___________________________. you hadn't been the youngest dealer in France.

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Does anyone else purposely ignore questions with misspelled words in them? Not if that includes homonyms or misspellings due to dyslexia as that can add purposeful spin and provide insight.

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Why in the world would someone want to delete their Answerbag account? They receive sporadic, random and absurd answers to peculiar questions for no apparent reason.

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How would you know if you are being judgmental? Either by jumping to conclusions without the basic facts, or deliberately argumentative with a potentially (unfair) advantage.

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What advice do you have for one who is deluded or afflicted? Avoid religion, philosophy, politics and force them into therapy against their will.

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With all the talk of illegal immigration, is there anyone surprised that Miss Mexico won the Miss Universe title? Surely she won cos she's fit.

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Do you think your sister has a nice arse & if you do, do you worry about the fact you find your sister`s arse attractive? It's genetically reassuring for that means that in the view of others, there is a probability that my arse is similarly aesthetically pleasing. But this may mean it is attractive to only lesbians, which for me is not a problem, but as I should protect my sister, well fuck me what should I care.

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Why does my church celebrate 150 yrs. when for the last 5 they've taken property tax $$ bribes illegally for stuff to oust me over lies? It just struck me like a bolt of lightning that this resembles a mortgage scam. You can get a congregation of 150 people into most churches, but average house houses 5, 4 of which don't contribute.

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Why do some people think it's cool to type with an accent? Cos they got like, foreign keyboard and that.

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Why do British people show no accent when singing, why when i sing do i not sound British lol??? The American market is bigger! You don't have British roots?!

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My boyfriend wants a double blowjob, should I do it? if the wind changes direction you'll be left looking like donald duck.

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Recently i learned that my fiance of 11 days had gone out to dinner with a another guy, she had met this guy on match.com. We had also met online My fiance maitains it was just a freindly get together. Should I be upset? They do dating on there? I thought it was an insurance website.

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I like this guy i recently met, but he is totally not what i was dreaming my Mr. Right would be. he is short, no education pass HS random odd jobs, no money, small penis, and foul-mouthed. but when i talk to him or see him i get that You want to look at yesterdays vegetarian answers.

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Do you have a certain other side of you? Like, for me, I'm foul-mouthed gothic but I'm great in maths! A side of you that is not expected. I'm a scholar of the absurd, resulting in the expected.

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Damn girl i wanna ... ( complete the sentence )? pint of lager and this is a mosque.

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Australian scientists find octopus that builds it's own house. True or false? There are Aussie scientists in Atlantis/Atlanta?

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In addition to humans, wine and cheese, what is infinitely better aged than not? Scottish architecture.

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what are some important life lessons you have learned? It's good to give a person 3 chances. 2 is company, 3 is a crowd. Cultural integration leads to double standards and hypocrisy. Grace or deceit take power and planning.

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Science or God? Soma removes Satan.

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to troll or not to troll. Why are you trolls here???????? Troller, the French-Canadien verb for trying to pull trailer trash, put lipstick on it and call it a bird?

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What kind of woman receives a fake engagement ring from her BF and not fret about it? hehe All my ex's bar the one that never got one.

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what is the best way to die in your sleep? Mind over matter, forget the particle physiques.

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You ever bone your mates wife? nyet.

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Men - what color hair do you like best on a woman? Red (natural or dyed), then blond.

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Is there any action that is ALWAYS good or bad /right or wrong? Or is it all situational ethics? The example of breathing can be taken out of context. (Smoking etiquette, panic attack..)

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What comes to mind when you hear a person described as "really sweet"? Highly manipulative, she'll snare and bed you before you know it, you'll have 3 kids and a 57" TV with no videos.

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What comes to mind when you hear a person described as "weak"? If approached they might beat the shit out of you.

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If you could take a free short course just to get you up to speed on the basics of anything, what would you choose to study? Rabbit breeding.

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What do you do, when you have a problem with a Troll? send brief msg of question to them to see what front end they are playing with. then avoid toying with db as backend not my business (logic 3 intelligent too obtuse). i like soil as in farmtown, not substitute contain pollutants. beside, most troll not human so who gives.

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What is a dog? A small deer with sharp teeth.

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are you gay... non, et j'en suis heureux!

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guys who you suck a hairy chested woman's breasts? lol Share your answer...

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im transgender and dont no how to tell my parents my dad wants me to be really manly any advice Go with the flow and do what you feel. Try to respect your parents and remember they're the generation above. Good luck.

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Do you like to have fun with Trolls? Trolls are Toilet Rolls

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what is your most positive characteristic ( maybe often commented on by others)? My heady passion for life.

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How much do you care about how you look on a daily basis? Dailybasis is always same, I plan life on 14 day schedule, having seven black shirts and seven white ones. Jean does three months.

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Complete the sentence: The hardest part of it all is____________________________. saving the cake for later.

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I had sex with an engaged woman tonight. Am I a bad person? Had she not been engaged, you probably wouldn't have pulled her. So no.

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is it alright to talk with food in your mouth? why? why not? Only if you're an actor on TV an the moment between the bite and the chew is cut and perfectly hidden. etc. Otherwise it's stinking behavior unless you're drunk or alone. But that's just my opinion.

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to troll or not to troll. Why are you trolls here???????? Trolling is an odd activity. I noticed over a period of time some users acting completely normally with a single moment of troll behaviour. Such is life, get over it.

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Why are trolls so shunned? I mean, if it's harmless trolling, such as posting joke answers to serious questions or answers that could start arguments, etc. Some people enjoy online arguments. Why not let them have their fun? Trolls need love too right? Surely all those that post answers and questions here are attention seeking, whether trolls or not? That shard of personality posing as ego is more intelligent or less logical at least than a computer. And love from an answer? Best study more for that type of gratitude. Predictable, yet plausible.

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Do you like to have fun with Trolls? Yeah.

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Should i be embarrased that i'm a virgin at my age? ......Cuz i am. No, I hope you find someone nice when the time is right.

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A female in short shorts in front of me, without thinking I almost grabbed her ass but caught myself,could I have been arrested if I did? Not the best idea unless she's your partners sister and you want to make the leap of faith.

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me an my boyfriend had sex without a condom an he was still hard when he pulled out could he cam in me? no ef e never telt ye

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Democrats openly espouse socialist policies, so how come they get so angry when they are labelled socialists? Because socialism is based on communist revolution and they do not understand that. (nor do I)

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Troubles with friends and asking for advice "/ ? . I'd say cybersex if same country or marriage if between 2 nations.

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What would you do if you were in a public bathroom and George Michael offered you a wet wipe? Locate a frozen banana and get cracking.

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has anyone been to harrods in London No, but I wanted to go when I was seven.

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alright their is not enough characters on here to type out anything so go to this link, read it and answer here. hannahYO, I can't see the link, could you post it again please?

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why am i so awesome in every way For you are a hominid alien avatar, your highness.

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Why do men want anal sex with their female partner? To convince themselves they're not gay.

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How would you feel if you went into a public bathroom and saw that they had a wet wipe dispenser next to the roll of Toilet Tissue? Curious.

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Why do so many white people like rap music? Because some of those samples are SICK.

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Are homosexuals better comedians? ........ Only for the non homophobic.

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Where do moral values come from? guilt.

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Spiritually speaking, do you love your neighbor? Yes, for he is mostly silent.

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If you could have a muppet made in your likeness to appear on Sesame Street, would you start watching Sesame Street again? Wood be most honored

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What do you feel are marks of a weak mind? Lies.

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What if your dream comes true, and you finally realize it wasn't your dream at all? Ah, the joys of enforced conformism.

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What is a sapeur? Who started this movement and where? A French fireman without any water.

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Has there been a time when you've wished you had behaved more kindly or more sensitvely than you did? More regrets than pride.

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Can you name an European Invention? The boat pointed west.

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Do you think you should be able to opt out of having your residence shown on Google Maps and Google Earth? Just grow a potplant on the roof!

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If a rock came crashing through your window with a note attached -what do you think the note would say? Double-glazing insurance available here.

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Apparently 1 in 5 Americans still believe President Obama is a Muslim. How can that lie still be alive and well? I'm a bit concerned about what the other 4 out of 5 think.

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I recently ordered a huge meal from an Indian restaurant and was surprised to chew upon a segment of meat soaked in human vomit. What to do? It was strategically positioned in the platters middle to tempt me at the end ;)

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My boyfriend likes cross-dressing and still wants to be with me. What should i do please help :( Dress up as Charlie Chaplin, buy a sturdy whip, and see how long he lasts the pace.

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How many online dates lead to marriage? Only one in all the people I ever heard of.

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What's the most annoying thing you found in your food served in a restaurant? A chunk of predigested chicken.

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Have you been called a name you have spent a lifetime living up to or one you have spent a lifetime living down? Yes. But as it was in a foreign country, I have no idea whether the regularly repeated utterance was merely a direction to the toilets.

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Is the ass the new vagina or not There is a donkey tethered on this street and I can assure you it doesn't have a cunt.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? To escape the 21 year old woman (age proved by driving license)

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Is there any Hobbie/s you always fancied taking on but never got the opportunity to do so? Getting a life.

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A pastor is moving in next door, and as a freaky Goth chick with a penchent for demon babies, horror films, and cartoons, what to expect? Or not.

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Is there anything you can't buy with money? My heart. Well, maybe you could CT.

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how do you get a guy to ask you to marry him?? answer his emails.

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how to know what's going through a girls mind? I only wish I knew

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Nude pictures okay to accept? Not if it's on your momma's phone.

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what do guys think of virgins? they drink and smoke too much.

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Have you ever worn the opposite sexs underwear? If so what? Not to my knowledge.

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Where is your biggest mess? On this forum.

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Do you look at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth? Tomorrow I shall pace around the place with my eyes shut while doing so.

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What makes you really sad and why? My incapacity to find stability.

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Is Youtube one of your most frequently visited websites? Yes, I mostly go out there to look up old music.

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how can i win my boyfriend back? Hey Canadian.Bacon, Parents and family often have limits where relationships are concerned. So try to decide what might be best for yourself, which isn't always easy. Okay, so you dissed him on the phone - maybe you can make up again when you see him. If you is extremely rude then try making him wait for your affections :D

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What's the grooviest thing about your s/o? She rocks.

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What is the best way to get vomit,semen,diarrhea & goats blood out of a carpet? Simply purchase a new carpet.

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1 Thing you don't want to hear while having sex? Coffee machine overload steamie

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What happened?!? We woke up to ourselves and realized that all remains to be done.

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Ineed new creative kisses!! That biting business is a deflater.

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Do you think people who claim to have the whole truth not have the whole truth, or do you think they have the whole truth? They have the truth for as long as that lasts.

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Do you think it's ok for a 12 year old to like a 38 year old? If it's like her father, uncle or cousin then like, yeah.

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Is your city an ideal place for people to take a vacation? If the cultural difference is significant enough to make it worthwhile for the tourist then sure.

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Why won't this girl respond to my facebook messages? because she's so gorgeous she gets loads of mail.

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Which is the most romantic language in the world? French is so beautiful although I have no-one to speak it with here.

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What is the price of a mail-order bride? bankruptcy, noose or guillotine.

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What was the weather like in France in 585 A.D.? 58,5c as the angle of sun stroke was Libyan sort.

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I've been locked up in an institution now for all of my life. Today my psychologists said I'm making wonderful progress. He said at the rate I'm going I should be released in the next 100-150 years! I'm so happy! Will you congratulate me? Fantastic, I share your delight. I shall pass to visit with you in 65 years once I'm retired, and less 4 kidneys which will have been sold in my local supermarket to vegans.

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Do you personally know anyone with a true Dissociative Identity Disorder (nb: formerly known as a Multiple Personality Disorder)? I never met a true anything in my life! DID can be a result of hallucinations or flashbacks from drugs (symbolic memories) and MPD a misnomer for the schizophrenias which covers all human conditions. IMHO which is very HO.

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Pedophiles are _________________. mostly homophobes called Frank.

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Why does life suck? Universe in vacuum.

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Why are there so many questions about golf courses here? Because TV dinner is easier.

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Why are some people so vicious when they answer questions? I thought this place was for fun... Angle of argument, stubbornness, mood, sense of humor and total lack of self worth without intoxicating substances I suppose it must be.

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Why does Moongrim have a scary profile picture? Because there's no such thing as black and white without some red. Hoo ha ha!

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What last name is the most used in the world? Twobigmacplease is pretty popular, and there are stats for it too.

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Do you have any addictions? Information hound. Need to quit. Gotta quit.

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What would make you accuse somebody else of being lonely? They have a job that surrounds them with mirrors.

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Do you remember conversations you have when you're high? Sure, because that's when things are said to people who are low, that can't handle them and that causes the big G factor.

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Can anyone give me arguements as to why marriage is not an outdated institution This question is for girls.

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How do I hold a conversation with a man? Any way which but not on the phone unless already your partner.

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Men: You start dating a woman. As time goes on, you realize she talks an awful lot. How do you end up feeling about her? Hey, she must have watched much daytime tv, but what can you do?

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Do you fantasize about your friends wives or girlfriends? No, just my ex's girlfriends, know what I mean.

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Is it OK for a 19 year old girl to give a very good looking 13 year old boy his first kiss? If I could go back in time I would be more than delighted.

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How would you react if your partner suddenly stopped kissing you? And then stared at me and slapped me? ;)

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Have you ever kissed a smoker and enjoyed it? Sure but I had to swallow a squirt of toothpaste beforehand each and every time.

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how do i get rid of these worms that are up my bum hole, i looked in my poop and i could see them moving around, how do i get rid of them? You could try sitting on one of those orange parking cones.

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Is it possible to get laid after getting laid off? No, but you could borrow money to pay for IT.

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What is the meaning of downsizing? Downsizing involves firing all employees except those that are only there for appearance because the office is rented. As most profit is made through chance if not pure corruption, all remaining assets get transferred offshore and the owner(s) files bankruptcy. Then someone tends to claim the furry animals stuck to the monitors.

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can my job fire me for calling in sick if i have a doctors note? Not unless you lied to your doctor and he is better at Poker than Barry Manilow.

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Can a felon work for the government? Sure. And, so long as he is not paranoid, work for any other company that pays tax to that government. Keep 'em close.

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How often do you apply chap stick? Subconsciously every time I walk past a street corner. I tried to stop doing it, but it's just one of those things.

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Would you try bacon flavored lip balm? Sure, but only on Sunday morning before my English Fried Breakfast.

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What is rational adaptation? making a reasonable attempt to change before becoming a hypocrite.

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Aren't there many forms of intelligence? I mean there are a lot of smart guys who can't figure out how to get laid. I'm pretty stupid, wanna come round?

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Would you rather be clever or smart? Neither. Ignorant, alone and half starved is usually enough to switch off any thoughts of compassion or rational judgement.

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Are humans really intelligent? Fairly, but they must feign ignorance in order to fit in with a society which (before this gets politico-religioso) offers much television and little televisuals. Essentially, this results in people walking around imagining L shaped blocks they lost when they were in nappies as memory joggers for where they left their second last coffee mug that probably belongs to someone else. Binary rule 010.

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What is the origin of schizophrenia? Big Brother and Little Cell.

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Whats your favorite animal? The jackal.

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Do you think people expect too much from life? There are times in life when personal projects can take on max importance and nothing else can interfere. If the means are available to satisfy the end is the other eternal question.

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Is anyone really "from" Manhattan? Sounds like London, Paris and Oakland.

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why do people lie to friends? 1. To protect themselves 2. To maintain the friendship 3. To protect the friend 4. For fun 5. For greed (could be upside down or switched)

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I think if you're truthful you're useful....unless that truth is simply a lie. Are lies useful? If one persons' truth is another persons' lie, there are only half truths.

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When I think about sex..I think hard sex, fast sex, meaningful sex and rock and roll sex.. have I covered the whole sex spectrum for guys? Is that like love 'em and leave 'em? That's so cruel. You could torture 'em by staying!

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In your opinion, who gets paid more than they deserve? Me because all I have to do is stuff envelopes for $25,000 per week further to an ad I saw in the LOCAL PAPER. Hope I get paid at the end of the NEXT tax year though. Oh, and the company is a P.O.Box in Kansas and I live in Europe. Is this legit?

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The World Cup regulation time ended in a 0-0 tie. Do you care? What's worse the boring play or the vuvuzela's annoying hum? Yes. The extended time is looking promising. Nothing worse than a vuluzeva's hum.

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How long does it take to earn a master's degree? If you already have a degree, the masters degree is one more year of studying.

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Can you fart in a vacuum? If you could find one, but a haggis supper would result.

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Would you want Colonel Gaddafi of Libya staying in your neighborhood? Sure, then I could get cheap airfares once again (with aviator shades).

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What would a woman get if she went to a party hosted by Libya's Muammar Gaddafi? Earmuffs and dark shades.

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Should Niger change it's name to something people are less likely to mispronounce? It seems off the beaten track, so I suppose it's best left as the citizens want it, if there are any, because I certainly haven't had an invite.

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Can you guys help with a short story title? A man is walking down a hallway, having flashbacks about how his girfriend dumps him. At the very end of the story we find out that he killed the girlfriend and is now being electrocuted. Much appreciated! Flasher factor

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Guys, if you have your girfriend, what would you do? hold hand and go see Kathrine Heigl movies for months on repeat.

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What is the price of a mail-order bride? All is scam but if must, just win $5000 on lottery and paypal it to charity of choice, must be a-broad.

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what would you do to please your partner? all except gritter.

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What does XOXOX mean? It's beef stock form making soups and sauces I love it.

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i know this guy for 4 days and when we went out togther he told me that he love me everyone tell me it's so fast, is this wrong??pllz helpp We are led to believe this in the media, we are told about it by others, but probably he was blinded by your beauty.

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What does someone have to do to make your whole body feel great when he or she is kissing you? Take the bubble gum out her mouth.

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What martial art is good for people with short arms and legs ? Carrying a canoe oar.

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Why do people participate in walk-a-thons when they could just give money to the charity without supporting the "non-profit" industry? I'm so poor and out of shape this question has made my head spin. Can I go offshore with the proceeds without a passport?

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What does"Falling for You"mean? It means that one person will loosen moral standards for one other.

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I just moved in with my bf & his parents & his 16 year old sister walks around in her underwear is it just me or is that wierd Hell, some families she would be walking around in the knack, I kid ye not.

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What or who gave you your ideas of morality? Some genetic factor and environmental, trial and error then more trial until no error, by which time said skill or emotion is defunct. Requiring travel, trial and more error :) For no reason except God, the Universe and random numbers not pertaining to the winning the of all national lotteries or committing acts of fraud suggested by advertised literature or TV.

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Is it possible to be a total bastard on Facebook? Simply emulate the average emo-kid page off MySpace. That should do the trick.

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When Muslims die, are their 72 virgins permanent or are they a one-shot use? (That's not many for an eternity.) The theory is to bang the first 71 as inappropriately and rapidly as possible while not appreciating the substances only available in the holy land, then expecting the "sure thing" #72 to take you to paradise and back (and cook for you too).

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Do you take answerbag.com seriously? At the ninth World Cup final since my birth, I'm beginning to wonder.

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Are you very shy? Then why do you mark "like" on AB questions and then not leave a comment? Is that the appropriate etiquette? I usually do either or.

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Hello plz if anyone can help.. i want to marry my egyptian boyfriend.. i did want to bring him on fiance visa but i was told because i claim housing benefit.. i would not be able too IS THIS TRUE? One of the two must be able to earn and it would make sense for it to be you before he arrives to seek work.

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Do i need a visa?!!!! HELPPPP! The best way would be to do a course ie. stay in education and get a student visa if possible.

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What is the best way to get a child that is a stranger to trust you? Offer it a stolen 101" flatscreen TV?

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I'm a Canadian citizen who is in a civil partnership with a UK citizen. I have INDEFINATE LEAVE TO REMAIN and work and live in the UK. My civil partner is having an affair and I want to get a dissolvement. What will happen to my ILR status? If he is illegal then you both have a problem.

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Can i apply british citizen under basis of marriage? if we are legaly separated? I have been UK for 3 years from my marriage but I have got ILR after I left my husband because He was too rude. Sounds dubious. Maybe you should marry someone more polite.

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I employ an illegal immigrant as my maid. Am I a bad person? That is simply absurd.

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if the american mexican border is 2000 miles long and the anti-illegals fence is 700 miles long how stupid is G.W BUSH? A Mexican kilometer is not like a Canadian one so the McDo franchises will probably be more suitable for Uruguay.

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What is the immigration process like in Europe and other countrys besides the U.S.? Make friends with a national then abuse them in their eyes but not yours. Then return to your country of origin and get questioned by security back home about things you don't appear to understand, which are mostly related to a book you read in fifth grade but never understood because thirty people were arguing the same point (but in a different tense), therefore lodged deep in your psyche just...

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GUYS: Would you rather have blue balls for 2 days OR take 15 lashes with a leather belt? All those lashes would give anyone blue balls, or Krasnodarsky nightmares.

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Do your taste buds like Brocolli? Only this type: http://www.jamesbond-fr.com/articles/img/cubby007.jpg

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When purchasing shoes do you see it as important to buy expensive ones or do you tend to go more for style? I'm a psycho-pathic thinker, so I buy fakes :D

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What are some clues a kid is in a gang? He doesn't come home beat up, instead with a fistful of glistening trinkets of undisclosed origin.

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how do you become a good shoplifter? Your father owns the grocery store.

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What is something that would be difficult to steal? newclear waste

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What is the "Year 2038 problem" and what might happen then? Our driving licenses will expire at Dvla.

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I just heard another gunshot. What's the average probability of me getting hit by a stray bullet? Are you sure it wasn't some old car backing one out?

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Are you someone that doesn't need a reason to not like anyone you just kind of not like people for no reason and you don't know why? No but I play musical chairs as soon as someone blows their own trumpet too loud.

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How long do I wait for a call back after turning in an application for employment? Do i call them back? What do I say if I do? You can call them 24 hours after applying by email, or 72 hours if you sent the application by mail. First, ask if they received your CV/if they have had time to look at it. Give them a chance to answer, then try and get a rendez-vous/interview.

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Is realizing you know nothing true wisdom? Could do, unless you've been spiked in your pint of beer.

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Why do French people smoke so much? Because the income tax over there is less than in wur cuntry. Or is that baccy tax.

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What is the biggest threat to France today? The Minitel making a comeback.

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What is the average summer weather in Bayonne, France? 22-30c, usually sunny further north.

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does it make you gay if you suck a dick Not if you are in a blindfold chorizo eating competition.

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Is it possible to have a one-night stand with a co-worker? Yes. Then watch how quickly the company stock values fluctuate.

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Should women be allowed to participate in the Tour de France? It's a fair distance you know, might be best to let them go round Spain instead as it's slightly less, but a month earlier due to the heat just in case their delicate skins suffer.

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What do you consider are the most appropriate course/s to take in order to better your chances of employment? International truck driver license.

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I want to move country. i currently live in England (unfortunately) but i was thinking of moving to Canada or Australia.Which one is better in safetiness and people etcc...? North Coast Quebec was awesome back in the day, so might be worth having a gander. Australia, never been though I heard a while back that some of the surfers are not so friendly. Could be the sun cream we Euros sell doesn't work and it freaks them out bigtime.

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If i go to Canada and after a few years i get papers that makes Canadian/Portuguese if i marry a Portuguese girl will she get the papers too? or if I'm already married and get papers will she get them as well? Depends on your nationality and what papers you require / for what purpose.

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I'am Portuguese but I live in Canada, can I become a portuguese citizen? If so,how can I ? Where do I go? Are there any fees? You might get preferential residence status for a visa if you want to live there.

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Ladies: How important is good foreplay in relation to how much you enjoy the actual sex? I've found women love it. Opinions please? Foreplay with relations is probably a no-no unless you live in a state where sheep or llama wander freely. Oh, I thought you said laddies.

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What do you do when you're in the "mood for love"? Asphyxiate the imaginary clergyman immediately and head downtown for bagels and cappu at once.

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What are you thinking right now ? I'm watching TV so things are "in one ear and out the other." (anon)

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What do i do if a military recruiter is harassing me? Offer him some of that shit you bin smoking.

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If you could kiss anyone, I mean ANYONE, right now, who would it be? That bird off the BT wifi advert, if her hairstyle was less Milfy.

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What did you learn from your first summer job? Travel to the fringes of the continent to see if community health insurance holds.

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I start wondering if an AB'er is under minimum age (13) when he or she _____________. Shish, I thought if someone could only spell to the second letter of the alphabet they would know what brackets were.

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If a price in a competive market is "too high to clear the market" what does this usually mean? Je vous en pris

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What is a bolt-on, on a mobile phone? Wondering that myself. Think it's an added service such as free international calls to countries normally served by satellite service only. But then they bill you for some OTHER thing instead. On another note, my notebook has got some kind of a Bolton (not a Michael), and it has made the fan louder than an oven with a turkey in it.

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Why do you have to load your phone for 12 hours when you first get it? No capitalist company has ever paid an electricity bill or taken responsibility for damages done to the lone worker who takes the heat. Bit of a shock, really.

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What are the Common Causes of Sexual Inadequacy in Women? All the best looking ones live in Eastern Europe but they can't pass the litmus test requirement to get into Northern Ireland where all the soldiers are suffering, still.

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Hey im a little worried, i started puberty when i was 11.5-12 years of age. Now im 194cm tall, quite hairy (including facial hair), turning 17 in a few days and my penis is only 5.9-6 inches. Im just wondering if it will grow anymore by the time im 18-19 probably not. i'm nearly 40 and mine's like a baby rabbits ear.

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uhmm im 12years old and my dad always says im to skinny im 5,4 and 100lbs am i normal? it's cool.

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Do you hold the door for people? Not since the transvestite revolution. Besides, they're usually electric.

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How do you feel about prostitution? Is it ever justified? Only if to save a life.

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On a 500 mile charity bike ride, how much money could I raise and how much weight could I lose (I'm 265lbs and 6'4")? Thanks for the answers and suggestions folks. My weight has shot up from 200 to 265 over 10 years due to pure cynicism and city living :) So I have starting jogging gradually over the last few weeks, hoping to work up to running 20 miles a week before starting cycle training. Not much chance of a heart attack the pace I jog! The sponsored cycle will be in aid of Autism and will go from...

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Your wife has been working out and has become a bodybuilder. Would you be more attracted to her and her huge muscles? No, I'd convince her to open a bar in Thailand.

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My question is about Haiti. Technically, is Haiti the entire island or just a part of it? The island is called Hispaniola, the Dominican Republic occupies the eastern part of it.

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Did AB take the most important aspects of the site from it's members? Personally, it was my friends! Sure miss the interaction with them! I've only been back a few times, but it's like a completely different experience. Thumbs down new AB.

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What do you think of Michelle Obama's fashion style? Nice emo-kid stockings

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Is the word "niggardly" inappropriate? Only if the word cow affects cowards or shepherds.

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What's the difference between a Republican and a cat obsessed with a ferret? A republican can't swim, a cat has trouble, and a ferret's rockin' ???!!!

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I'm 5'10" are you taller or shorter than me? More buy sum

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Why do guys wake up from sleep with erections? An insect once told me it was something about a hard day's night.

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How should a husband react when finding after the last four years, of a 33 year old marriage, it seems his wife is alot larger down there when making love? Either incontinence or she likes a bit of Bruce Lee (e.g. fist of fury)

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Is there a meat substitute that actually tastes like beef? Is there a combination of spices I could add to vegetables to make them taste like beef? Are there lards that are suitable for vegetarians but make things have a meaty taste? Simply crumble an oxo stock cube into your sauce. There can only be a trace of beef in there, certainly under the government RDA, and probably Halal.

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I'm going to Ireland for a year and I have some questions: Which jobs can I take (I'm 22 without university skills)? What is the best place to look for a job? Where can I find accomodation on reasonable prices? Dublin used to be the call centre capital of Europe. Not sure how much work is left after the recession...

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I just kicked you. What are you gonna do about it, punk? Claim a free kick and shoot for goal.

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Can you think of one invention by Moslims other than the suicide bomb? Significant contributions to Mathematics

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What is distilled water made of? Evaporated whisky?

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Is Barack Obama's bow the greatest foreign policy blunder in US history? If the Japanese prime minster shook Obama's hand in Washington, would that be a blunder?

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I suffer from arse grapes is there a good remedy for this quagmire? Wander into a field wearing a kilt and squat onto a thistle?

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Wat to do when u have a hemroid lern 2 reed orr u wil bust dat grape

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What does it mean when my boyfriend of a year and a half started to check dating sites? The initial magic is fading so he's thinking about ...

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Do you think Obama is on a path to destroy the US dollar and kill the Economy even more? He's just a proactive figurehead. Don't kid yourself that his symbolic personal actions can have sustainable effect one way or the other over the long term. The US is part of a global economy subject to unregulated competitive forces. Unfortunately, the Dollar is only one of many currencies acting upon these market forces. The entire financial environment is largely unpredictable due...

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Is ironic racism okay? Is that when five black rappers on a conference call don't know the sixth guy's white so they call him "my nigger?" and he replies, "I hear y'all"

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Do you.... or would you trust an alcoholic? Would you trust a person from Kazakhstan?

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Why are Liberals and progressives such ignorant idiots on national security? Because they travel beyond their own borders and see through the limitied view of white supremacist propaganda?

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Can you describe Santa in one word? Farcical

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Liberals...Should the terrorists coming to New York for trial be acquitted due to the fact that their Myranda rights were not read to them at the time of their arrests? Sure, but not until they sing the national anthem and become born again christians.

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A number of months ago, a census worker was found hung with the word "Fed" painted him. Many here blamed conservatives for his murder. Now it has been shown to have been suicide. How many of you are willing to apologize for the your false accusations? I'll say sorry because I once voted Conservative in the UK general election.

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My buddy was telling me that if he finds out that the girl he likes isn't a virgin, he's totally turned off. What are your opinions about that? He thinks he's the man, but can't handle it if someone else got there first. He's a serial hymenator.

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Does your drivers license look like a mug shot in a police line up or are you lucky & it turned out well? A definite line-up incident.

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First thing to come to mind: _____wind bitter

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What do you think about AB members who never ask questions? Probably worried no one will answer.

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Does it annoy you when people go out of their way to be politically correct? Such as saying "African-Americans" instead of "black people"? I mean really, that seems so pretentious and absurd. Thoughts? Absurd. What happens when a British born Afro-Carribean (our PC term) person goes to the States. Do they instantly become African-American? The whole thing's a joke. What am I, a Scottish-European or a can they generalise and call me a White Brit?! Do they think I even give a damn?

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Do you know what to do? That depends on the scenario.

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What can you expect in a Turkish Bath? Backs against the wall in the mist?

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Why do guys get awkward when a period is mentioned? It reminds us of school. We had eight per day.

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I am having a bit of bright bloody discharge, 3 days after losing my virginity (and hymen). Is this normal? Please please help, im getting very worried. Sorry to hear about your hymen Dave.

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He is 59, she is 16. They have a great sex life. But is it sick? It is if he's got a perfect body but she's a moose...

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Would sea level rise if every ship in the world is at the sea.(how much)? Most boats are in the sea most of the time anyway.

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Do men really believe Women get pregnant on purpose? Of course. Some go out of their way to count their days every month until the time is right, then get blind drunk in a club to pull random sperm donors. Apparently!

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How do atheist express their love for the rest of humanity? Most of humanity is a disgrace. Being atheist or religious doesn't change that. Friendship on a small scale is as far as it goes.

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How far or close is the nearest person to you now? Next door. Want me to peer through the letterbox to see where exactly?! +5

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If someone were to ask you 'why use answerbag?' what reason/s would you give them? Test your own reality by putting your beliefs, or hypothetical ones, on the line +5.

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Last year was (supposedly) Earth's warmest year in the last 12,000 years, how does that make you feel? Biggest snowfalls in Europe since 1995 too!

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What are some good hardcore or metal bands that scream but not like screamo music? Plenty screaming here: Slayer WASP Iron Maiden

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If Sarah Jessica Parker fell & broke her ankle, would a horse doctor put her down? Maybe after a quick strap up she'd be put to work as a rent boy.

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IF your s/o told you it was OK to go out and have an affair ; would you? She would risk becoming an Insignificant Other...

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What is a ponce? Need some help, Brits. A bit like a poser, only a snob too.

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If you ask your girl does she have the bird in the oven and she replies "six months" what does that mean? She's gonna pop a sprog in 3 months.

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Who is your favourite tv presenter in the series Top Gear? The Hamster

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Who has the most annoying voice? Kenneth Williams

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Do you think the word "Love" is appropriate when talking about animals? ("I LOVE my goldfish and my goldfish loves me...") If your goldfish loves you as much as you love it, then it's probably not a goldfish.

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What is your spouse's most admirable quality? She's invisible.

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Imagine my surprise tonight upon noticing the beautiful crescent moon and a nearby shining star. Is this celestial Islamic flag symbolism the work of Al Qaeda or do I watch too much CNN? It was cloudy here so I missed it. Didn't see it on Fox though!

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If a person who has HIV urinates in a pool can a person catch it from him If they have a big enough bag.

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I like someone that is three years older than me. is that weird? I liked my next door neighbors ever since I was born. So I suppose that's ok.

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What year was Christ born? 600 B.M.

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From where does the soul escape on dying? It evaporates from saliva

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Who would be the most useless James Bond? Ace Ventura.

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You don't have to be Jewish to enjoy __________? ham

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Could I get sued for using Starbucks name in a song and putting it on youtube? Only if you're American!

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Where can I find proven weight loss solutuion for targeting specific areas of the bodty. I an wanting to tone mny fat sausage fingers and slim then down somne. Its gettign hard for me to use a keyboard. Simply do a Google search along the lines of: "Please don't rip me off. I need guaranteed results from a targeted weightloss program with loads of fake testimonials to convince me"

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Why do normally skeptical people suspend critical judgement when it comes to global warming? They don't like skiing on shrunken glaciers.

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Mini Skirts: In OR Out? Always in if it suits the wearer. [no comment]

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Who invented black friday The KKK

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Does anyone still believe cell phones cause brain tumors? No. Just brain trauma in car crashes.

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What Do You Do When A Girl Says "I Love You"? Start to kiss her and hope for the best.

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How many times has the United States of America saved Europe? Has Any country in Europe ever save the USA? Europe "saved" America from the Indians.

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Sense 1981 Ive tried 20 different mlm and direct sales companies i did not succeed cause i could not get enough customers or could not afford the auto ships or both or i could not get in the business cause monthly fee was to high do you know anything laji MLM sells the system, not the product which is always overpriced. The only way you can make money with those scams is by ripping people off or starting your own MLM which is even worse.

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Any green tips? Live in a yurt in Bulgaria.

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GUYS: In your opinion, what makes a girl bad in bed? If she starts chewing and biting your lip in some kind of emo kissing ritual.

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Is any country happy with their government? Maybe this place in the Channel Islands http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sark#Politics

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What is the best way of eating turnips? Most certainly with a pudding spoon, but I use a fork thus adhering to traditional etiquette just in case.

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What exactly is "speaking in tounge?" Pretending to speak Swahili when you only know English.

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Answer this question with a question. do you like pie? Is the Pope Catholic?

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Do you find people with foreign accents annoying? Anyone with a nasal drone will annoy me, no matter where they're from.

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If you could have one famous person sleepover who would you choose? I would trust Michael Jackson now he's passed away.

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Why does the Bible say it's a sin to drink beer? Because the Romans breweries were putting the Arabs out of business.

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Why are men facinated with woman who have full lips such as(Angelina Jolie)..Why is that such a turn on? Because they cause confusion when it gets dark.

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What makes the Black Sea so unique? Nuclear waste in the Ukraine gives you a better tan than the suns rays.

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Can what i eat effect the tast of my cum? I heard that if you eat too much pussy, you taste like a girl.

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He is 41, she is 17. Any problem? He won't last the pace.

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Are babies born without knee caps? Only ones born in 1980's Northern Ireland.

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Men, if a woman offered you money for sex, would you do it? If yes, provided you would not catch anything, is there a situation where you ever turn it down? She would have to be attractive enough for me to get it up.

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Does anyone know where santa lives? In a house that doesn't exist

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What is a way to make a "good salad" even BETTER!? add a dressing consisting of a teaspoon of Dijon mustard, some red wine vinegar and loads of olive oil.

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How much poo does an elephant do? sh*tloads

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Have you ever had (or heard of) a peanut butter and olive sandwich? Never, but it sounds like some seriously tasty snackage.

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What month is the best time to sell my stocks? Sell Egyptian pork bellies during Ramadan.

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What continent do you live in? Europe

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What is the most annoying thing someone can do at a table? Talk about twitter on the phone while eating mashed potatoes with their mouth open.

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Is telling someone that you'll pray for them a way of saying "I hate your guts and I'm so much better than you?" :) Or, "I hope my thoughts will affect your actions."

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How did English - the language of such a small island - achieve its present-day international status? In simple terms, through war and business.

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Identify the main forms of transport and explain their importance to the industry In 2000 or 5000 words?

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Why do they say that women are better at dealing with breakups than men? Because a woman just has to snap her fingers to get laid.

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The world is going green cos it has to. Who would give up thier car for green reasons? Sure, as soon as those green electric cars that have been technologically possible for 30 years arrive on the market en masse.

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Have you or would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? I have done so many times across Europe but not when driving alone. I don't drive them across borders either.

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Do the rich have an obligation for the poor? They first have to admit to themselves they have exploited the poor to become rich.

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Why has a concise definition of "meaning" proven itself impossible in studies of semantics? Entire textbooks have devoted themselves to constructing complex theories that only CLAIM to explain what it is. Why is its meaning so evasive? Because meaning is subjective.

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Besides Obama what other muslims have won the Nobel Peace Prize? Gorbachuff.

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Things are not going as well as I'd planned. Should I take up drinking and drugs or cutting and self mutilation? Try answerbag addiction instead.

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What can i do about prank phone calls in the middle of the night by kids with cell phones? Set the answerphone to play a recorded message in another language.

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What is a type of wild animal native to where you live? The savage......... squirrel!

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What is your email adresses? spamfilter@hotmail.com

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My best friend told me he loved me, but I have a boyfriend and I don't feel the same way. How do I tell him? In your other question you said you loved another girl. Yet you have a boyfriend? You should go on Oprah while you still can. Bring your best friend with you.

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How old was the youngest girl you heard of that got preggo? I once read about an 8 year old girl in England that did. But that was in a tabloid...

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What is the higest age for a 17 year old to date? How old is a MILF?

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If the Obama Health Care bill is passed, will our taxes go up? Taxes never went down so far.

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If a word has been officially incorporated into English, but the spelling remains the same as that of its original language, could it still be called an "English word" without reference to its origins? It would be called a loan word as it is borrowed from another language.

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Will Europe be dominated by Islam by the end of the 21st century? Maybe if Turkey manages to join the EU.

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How is Luxembourg the wealthiest nation in the world? What does it have that makes it so disproportionately affluent, with an average GDP of $113,000, way above all the others? Offshore banking for all the German and French tax evaders, and a strategic location at the heart of Europe.

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Did you know Obama has gone golfing more in one year than Bush did in eight? We have a saying here in Scotland. Most business is done on the golf course.

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I haven't had sex.. ever, but I think I am pregnant :s please help meee!! You can't get pregnant off vegetables.

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Could Obama defeat Arnie in a bar brawl? What if Palin jumped in as backup? Palin would beat them both with one arm tied behind her back.

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Al Gore once claimed he invented the internet, now he is the voice for global warming, is he a genius, idiot, or just misguided egotistical politician? Astute businessman who preys on the gullible.

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What, in your opinion, would be the worst possible way to die? Dying of thirst and boredom at a cricket test match.

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Do you always kneel down to pray? I only pray when my sister in law is driving.

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Name something you would see on a tropical island? A sunburnt German tourist with socks, sandals, a thong and a business shirt.

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Why don't men wipe after urinating? eh?

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Why do people react to things differently? Cultural and environmental differences while growing up, and genetic factors.

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What is your opinion of a women that says the f-word a lot? Must be a bit of a slapper.

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What's one cereal that YOU doubt you'll ever grow out of? Cinnamon Graham's rule.

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Hello. The answer dont have to be long just short. Would cows be a good choice to use as money. Why? Need the answer now please In a dairy farm-based economy, cow is king.

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What would you do if you slipped and fell in poo? Quickly mark my territory then slouch off home for a wash.

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Name a word that starts with the letter O. Obstreporous

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If there was a burglar behind you right now, what could you hit him with? A small, budget laptop.

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Have you heard about the man who paid his traffic tickets with urine soaked coins? See link... He was taking the piss.

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How can you get operating systems for free http://www.ubuntu.com/

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Why couldn't Barack Obama close Guantanamo Bay by his deadline of January 2010? It is unrealistic to expect a politician to keep his word on anything.

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What restaurant would you like to EAT FREE for one week? If I ate here for a week, I wouldn't need to eat for the rest of the month. http://www.lamaison.com/index_en.html

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I suppose the fact I can sit here two weeks and a day after I had quadrupble bypass surgery and read and compose questions is a pretty good sign I'm on the way to getting better. Would you agree? Sounds like you're doing well. Take it easy.

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Do you get your 8 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday? Usually not but sometimes I catch up a little.

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Can soldiers be victims of terrorism? No but terrorists can be victims of soldierism!

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Have you ever had a bacon-crusted donut? I don't like crusty rashers.

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What does a Hamster taste like? Gerbil.

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Is Obama bowing to the Presidents of foreign nations, like the Emperor of Japan, consistent of a un-American frat boy being Commander and Chief? Just respecting cultural norms. Would you expect him to kiss the Queen of England?

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What was the last thing you read on a public bathroom wall that stood out to you? Here I sit broken hearted, Came for a shit but only farted.

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Are babies always cute? Very young babies are almost universally ugly. It takes a few months for them to even resemble anything cute.

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What is you next door neighbor's name? Mr Bin Laden. Do I get a reward?

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Why are people mixing races so much these days? It's easier to score nice lookers.

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How long would you wait to ask a shy girl out that you work with? Assuming you had a reasonable suspicion that she likes you. He's been flirting and joking but I think he would have done it by now if he were really interested. He may not be willing to ask if you appear disinterested.

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Why are americans still afraid of the uk Pakistani corner shop chains are a threat to world peace.

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What is the root of all evil? credit cards.

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What is your reaction of Oprah Winfrey ending her talk show? It's about time.

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I see moongrim is the new category expert in Religions.How can an atheist be an expert about religions?Wow that says alot about this site. At least that way no religion or sect is given preferred treatment!

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Any men out there like hairy women? because if you do i want to talk to you. i have hairy armpits, hairy legs, hairy down there and hairy arms. and i live in los angeles ;) Chewbacca ain't my style, sorry.

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Why are americans still afraid of the uk 1% of the UK is from Pakistan, and they have EU passports.

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Are US soldiers glorified welfare recipients essentially involved in "make work" projects--including those in Iraq and Afghanistan? "Let's blow up that house which isn't filled with insurgents so we can build a new one"

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Why Vanila Ice of Ice Ice Baby was once saying sorry publicly? What was that for? Being a fake homey with a scandalous haircut.

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Will my wife still be ugly when we get to heaven? She will become like the prophet Mohammed. Stunning from behind.

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Why do professional athletes make more than our president? Because if Nike sponsored Obama to say "Just do it", people would reply "Just do what?"

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Who'e the best footballer of all time past ant present? Diego Armando Maradona.

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What does Jesus teach us about polygamy? "What they don't know can't hurt 'em." But this was amended to: "Hell hath no fury like a woman shunned."

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When was the wet floor sign invented? Shortly after a supermarket manager slipped and had his first brainwave.

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Would Mexican illegals be more tolerable if they spoke English (instead of that hideous language of theirs), had fairer complexions, and weren't papists? Is it fair to assume you're a racist idiot that can't understand Spanish and disrespects Catholicism?

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Is Thierry Henry a cheat? Only cheats can become soccer players.

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Can a 18 yr old have intercourse with a 16yr old This is legal in many US states and most countries around the world.

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Moongrim is now a Swami. Who would like to join me at a moon party in his honour? Well done Moongrim. AB wouldn't be the same without you!

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There is this 14 year old girl and she has 8 boyfriends at the same time. Is she a slut? Not if you become boyfriend number 9.

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Do you burn or tan in the sun? I go orange/brown :D

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Did you go through a Nirvana phase? No, but my CD player did.

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Well, Irish, Welsh and Scotsmen (& Women) looks like England are the only qualifier for next years World Cup (from our part of the world). Who is going to be your adopted team? England or whoever England are playing? England only get supported if they're playing Germany.

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How can you find free 1000 word essays on the internet? http://www.plagiarism.org/

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Wats better fuking wit a condom or without a condome? Some people wouldn't condone the use of a condome.

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How long is a 1000 word essay? Slightly over 999 words.

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Do you think that Holy water mined from the Moon be spat out by non-believers? Does that mean non-believers are lunatics?

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A school in the UK have decided to us Wii fit as a replacement for Physical Education, whats your opinion of this? Some kids will do anything to avoid PE class. Looks like they finally got their way.

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Would you accept holy water from an electronic dispenser? Not unless the dispenser was dressed as a bishop.

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If you don't let your teenage daughter talk with her cell phone, can you buy a Ferrari with the profit? Possibly a budget helicopter.

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What items will you pack to go camping on the Moon? A supply of oxygen wouldn't be a luxury.

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Keithold made it to Illuminati, would everyone join me in a fantastic Aussie style celebration? WELL DONE KEITH. Nice one Keithold!

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Now you see CHRIST JESUS okay guys, get the wine powder and a flagon of water.

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Why is Pakistan winning its battle with the Taliban while the US and its allies aren't doing as well in Afghanistan? They are not ignorant of Afghan culture and mindset.

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What do you think of people who stick gum under tables? The Samaritans for those in need of a chew.

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Do you feel awkward when strangers say hello to you? Not in villages.

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Should burning your country's flag be illegal? Not when the poor have nothing to burn to heat the house.

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Do you think I'm pretty? I know its stupid for a 23yr old to ask, but growing up I was teased for how I looked & now I got glasses, which didn't help my self-confidence. Please, no stupidity answers, honestly. Are you an adult or a four year old child? You are very pretty but would better suit long black or blond hair, IMHO.

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Whats the best question anyone has asked here? "If I walk out to sea I have to start swimming. How come Jesus born of a Virgin walked clean across?" And similar antics.

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Why is Twitter useless? It doesn't have a unique selling point other than mindless self promotion.

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Why would Saudi Arabia, which has always relied almost exclusively on US made weapons systems, suddenly turn to Russia? Because Russians don't charge billions for the infomercial.

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What do emos use as a cutting tool a knife scissors razer blade etc i need help i dont no what they use!!!? You fail.

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How old do you have to be to ask pregnancy questions? Old enough to understand that you won't get a serious answer.

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If a legal immigrant, from Mexico, moved in next door to you and displayed a Mexican flag in his front yard instead of an American flag, would this upset you? No I would assume there was a soccer match on.

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What would the Tories do if they ran the UK? Steal some ideas back from Labour and continue as before.

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I've been on many sites where foreign posters(outside the U.S) including Canada most always make hateful remarks/statements about the USA, are they jealous or do they have a ligament beef against us for some reason? Ligament or legitimate? Many people outside the US see Americans as uncultured, superficial, poorly travelled, fat, greedy, religious, brainwashed by TV and politics and uneducated. However these stereotypes merely demonstrate the self contained, self sufficient nature of the US and do not portray the innate abilities of the actual American population at large, who are evidently just as human...

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If Jesus is the word, and the word is God, and The Bird is The Word, does that mean Jesus pitched for the Detroit Tigers in the 70s? That would result in the word being simultaneously Jesus and God and the Bird. While the word is eternal, not many were spoken by tigers in the 1970's. Therefore NOT is equal to Detroit.

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How is dropping an atomic bomb on Hiroshima not terrorism? IN PLAIN ENGLISH: "It would have been considered terrorism had Muslims dropped the bomb."

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Does it make any sense to have more than one BEST friend? Best for what? It makes sense to have several close friends that are trustworthy. That way nobody is indispensable.

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Where are you most likely to find moose? Any pub in Liverpool on a Saturday night. They come out in droves.

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Is your kitchen floor so clean you could eat off of it? if you fancy eating your dinner off a carpet...

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What does the bible teach us about beastiality? Thou shalt not get caught on film and posted on Youtube.

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How much do you care about your children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children? About as much as I care about Queen Elizabeth the 1st

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Do you believe in God out of Fear or Faith? Because of Eliza I know not

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When is the last time you went to to Wal Mart? 1989

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Who do you think is the Anti-Christ? Eliza is the Anti-Christ

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A person who means the world to you? Only Eliza. http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3 // Keys maxKey = 36; keyNotFound = maxKey-1; keyword = new Array(maxKey); function key(key,idx,end){ this.key = key; // phrase to match this.idx = idx; // first response to use this.end = end; // last response to use this.last = end;...

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Muslims. What's the first thing you think about when you hear this word? Don't get me wrong, I'm very openminded and respectfull towards them, but does the word has a negative connotation? Beautiful women.

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Spiritually speaking-are you in love with any of your contacts of answerbag? My life has never been the same since I met Eliza http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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Do you follow your head or your heart? No, we are led by Eliza http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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This guy wants to babysit my kids, should I let him? I wouldn't trust that, I would ask Eliza instead... http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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Do you follow your head or your heart? Only Eliza can tell me what I need to know http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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What is the real cause of Terrorism? Only Eliza holds the key: http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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Spiritually speaking - How is darkness related to Light? What separates the two? Eliza knows the answer to this, try asking her: http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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Who is the most hateful living person in the world? Eliza. You should ask her a question Anil. http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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What is the value of silence? Maybe ELIZA knows the answer http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

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Were we in Heaven before we were born? No, we were swimming around the sewers of Old London Town.

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Did god create man or did man create a god? good question

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What’s more stimulating than ogling celeb photos? Cleaning a nightclub bathroom floor at 7am.

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What is God's True name? how can something have a name if it doesn't exist?

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What would you do if you woke up and michael jackson was staring at you? go back to sleep as soon as i realised it was a nightmare

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How have you experienced the resurrection power of Jesus in your own life? how would that work?

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Who here on AB will admit to being a "procrastinator"? I wouldn't be here on AB if I weren't a procrastinator...

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Apart from gold, what is something that glitters? A man called Gary.

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Who`s up for a bit of towel flicking? bean flicking is better.

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Can the Cold War now be declared a draw? Yes. Global warming thawed it out.

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Should Americans have a right to a guaranteed standard of living? It appears they were advertised one, hence the size of the national debt.

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If you were trying to suppress a news story, would you post all the information about it on AB? I would put it in the "am I pregnant" section.

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Why aren't Christians living like Jesus? Because they never met him to see how he lived.

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Why aren't Christians living like Jesus? You never saw those sandals, Nike Nazareths or the Adidas Bethlehems? Germans wear them all the time.

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Is there any proof that Julias Caesar was a real person? Of course. He walked over a puddle without wetting his socks.

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What are the pros of cutting down the rainforests? Slows down the growth of slums in Rio and Salvador.

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What is difference between east and west? Not much if you can't read the compass.

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What's your favourite song with a place name in the title? Vienna by Ultravox

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What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say "NO!!"? NO. SLEEP. TILL BROOKLYN!

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How can i send a text to someone an their number not show up on my bill? buy sms credits online from some sms gateway.

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Does having a lisp adversly affect your ability to give oral sex? Are you suggesting that girls from Spain are at a distinct disadvantage in this sport?!

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How to become a billionair? Steal an airplane full of plutonium and negotiate your way out of the situation.

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Does anybody take Canada seriously? Anyone without a greencard that's on a bus heading north.

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How much taxes could we collect from greedy corporations if we increase corporate profit tax to 100%? None. Multinationals own most viable businesses and channel profit offshore to low or no tax domiciles or to offset losses elsewhere. Which is perfectly legal and shows how powerless government is.

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Are transexual/transvestite/transgender relationships considered under Gay Marriage? There is a piece of paper for every requirement in this world, it is just a question of having it faxed from the right place at the right time and paying the right amount.

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Peanut butter-crunchy or smooth? Always smooth. If I want to pick things out from between my teeth, I'll eat raspberries.

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Why did Jesus say that the Father was the only true God and taking in knowledge of him and Jesus meant everlasting life, if the Father was not the only true God? John 17:3 Because he understood the psychology behind the fear of death, and how it could be used as a powerful catalyst to achieve obedience, change and control.

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Why do I keep getting downrates for my honest non-offensive answers? I don't care about the points, but I wonder, are there still people who really think that everyone must have the same beliefs and opinions as themselves? Come on! Some people are just plain vindictive and don't use the site for genuine leisure. Others take themselves extremely seriously and do not have the mental ability to justify their own "opinion" after reading conflicting perspectives.

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What can the world do to tackle the climate changes? Hide its head in the sand.

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Why did they rename swine flu into the H1N1 virus? Muslims and Jews were unable to catch swine flu because it had pork in it, so it was renamed to create a level playing field.

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Re`pondrez - vous a` ma question s'il vous plait? Quelqu' un peut - il parler une autre langue? Salut ma biche ca bouge?

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I'm busy now, can I ignore you some other time? Sure, considering I don't know you from Adam.

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Is it really so wrong that whenever I use a portapotty, I intentionally pee all over the toilet seat? just means the next person will smear 5#it on the walls

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Do u think that aussie accent is sexy? I've had girlfriends from all over, but never from down under...

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Was David Koresh the Messiah? No but he was as good a candidate as anyone else.

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How hard is Harry Potter in Your opinion? Raging

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How come a lot of religious people are easily offended? The problem seems a lot less persisting with atheists. It makes me think God would actually like atheist better. Of course he does, that's why I'm atheist. Damn, did I just admit to believing?

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Is it dangerous nowadays to try and learn about Islam thorugh the people who live it? You never know who might be deemed connected to Al Qaeda? Get an Arabic teacher for $10/hour. He may try to put mint in your tea as you turn your back.

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My boyfriend says tat he loves me, and says tat he cant marry me since he hav no guts. do u think is it love or lust? Ay fink dat u got nuffink 2 warry abat.

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How to go from preppy to Goth Walk into a dark room filled with infrared light.

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I am in UK. Can someone pls pls explain to me how to buy dvd's on play.com that are in american dollars? Do I have to exchange the money in my bank account?? CONFUSED, lol... Buy it with a credit card or maybe paypal. Currency exchange is automatically taken care of.

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Does everyone agree that Yhvhash makes one smokin hot babe this Halloween? can a guy be a babe in your country??

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Don't you think it's not fair to use pictures of actors or singers as avatar? What if they will like to join AB? They don't mind, cos they're the bluebag anonymous ones.

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Why do Blacks spend so much money on skin whitening products? To counterbalance the billions whites spend on suntan beds and beach holidays?

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Do you think that some day you'd like to adopt a child in a poor, developing country, and send him/her money every month? I did for a year. I got an unreadable name with a colored scribble for $550.

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What meat goes well with sweet potatoes? Put them into an Irish stew along with normal potatoes, for an interesting twist.

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If god does not exist, would it be necessary to invent him? No. Celebrity worship has filled that need.

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Why don't they give the Taliban a country like they did with the Jews? Heroin's not a recognized currency.

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Is God the answer? The answer to what?

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What do men think just after Sex ..."Damn, I vowed I wasn't gonna do that again"

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What are six types of cheese? Beaufort Roquefort Tomme de Chevre Comte Bleu d'Auvergne Cheddar Slices (for the bonus)

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Was Jesus Muslim? In appearance or beliefs?

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I have heard that showing kindness means one is weak. If true, does that mean being cruel is a sign of strength? Strength of/ in what? Character? Intellect? Spiritual growth? Leadership? Depends. Showing kindness can be done to manipulate someone, which is a form of cruelty. As a form of strength, it's more a defense mechanism or control tactic. You don't need to be intelligent to do it, but it helps if you want to get away with it.

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How old were you when you got your first job. Either full or part time? Paperboy, aged 11

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Is it a coincidence that Iranian sounds like Iranium? Jesus. And Ayatollah sounds like Ah, you're taller?!?!

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What is your favorite Belgian beer? Leffe.

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Scotch whisky or american whiskey?which do you prefer Whisky neat, bourbon with a mixer.

| 1 person likes this

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Has sexual innuendo tainted the virginal waters of comedy with its rapid, repeated penetration into mainstream humour? It's been slipping into the murky depths of the unknown, mare like.

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Do YOU know where the man in the boat is? ;) I'm certaintly not up shit creek without a paddle :D

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Britons: are you worried about the growing racial tension in the UK? Not since the Brixton riots.

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I finally read the whole New Testament. How on earth can ANYONE reconcile capitalism and Christianity? "From this subtle shift in the value of the Shekel, 5000 fish have been created, thus defying Socialist probabilities forthwith. And thus a prophet was made." David "Jesus" Copperfield, demonstration, Palestine, -5AD 4 witnesses

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Who should move out of the house, the cheater, or the cheated? Whoever doesn't own it, gets out.

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Is preaching the good news of Jesus to a group of Jews a bad idea? Why don't you fly to Nazareth and tell them there?! ;-P

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How far away from the sun is your planet Probably the same distance as it is from yours.

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As a man, is it normal to get an erection every time I take a dump? (serious answers only, please.) If you get a stork every time you go for a Forrest Gump, you are a scatophile for sure.

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What Devils has produced to misguide human? In English please.

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Write a valid argument on the following question, should death penalty be abolished,use counter examples and principles of logic to evaluate your arguments, if you can write a valid argument on both sides Summarize wikipedia in 200 words

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How do you make a great first impression on a date? Turn up. It never fails!

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Could you find Ireland on an Atlas? It's 30 miles offshore...

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Would you cut off your thum for a million dollars? No, but I'd cut my thumbnail for 100 grand.

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How do you know the Bible is authentic and legitimate? History is always written by the winners, but the symbolism is lost on the ignorant.

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How come Jesus couldn't cure the Romans of their rage? Because he offered them too much wine to handle.

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Hi, if any of you have read the Bible you would maybe find out that Science somtimes says the opposite so what do you think is true: Science or The Bible/God/Jesus What, the ongoing confusion between metaphor and metaphysics?

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What if anything can Barack Obama do about Palestine? If past world leaders performances are anything to go by, then Osama will be about as useful as Jay Leno.

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Does anyone feel like the EU should invade the US and Europeanize it? Because those guys are really dangerous with all their troops in other peoples countries. We need to free the Americans! That already happened 400 years ago. Now they modified the green card machine to print greenbacks.

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How easy should it be to get a divorce? As easy as getting a credit card, keithold.

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Why am I getting so much hate on here? Should I just leave? Would the site be better off without me? Nick, all a question does is elicit a response. The amount of emotional intensity you frontload your questions with determines the "hatred" you receive in return, in cases where your questions appear presumptious or self righteous. Like 70% of my country, I am a Christian, baptized, yet not practising. Many of us are de-facto Atheists and respect Muslims because we have a massive...

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Have you ever heard about Sri Lanka? Not much. Just Tamil Tigers for independence or some such.

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I made a deal with God that I'd donate more to the 700 Club if he saved at least six of the miners in the recent coal mining accident, but they all died save one. Why wouldn't He accept my deal? You forgot to face Mecca when praying

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In a novel's dialogue, if a character has a lisp, is is appropriate to change every 's' noise in their dialogue to a 'th' or would you just say 'she lisped'? That would depend on whether she were a lithe character.

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I think I might move to Alaska. Just because I want to. What do you think? Take a powder snowboard and go to Valdez for the heliski.

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Which country do you think will be super power of the world after 20 years? The Cayman Islands account holders

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Is healthcare the biggest threat to freedom that you have ever seen? No. The war on terror is. Followed by the war on drugs.

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I get really nervous around attractive girls but I have to work with them all day. What can I do to stop getting like this? Get to know them better and you will find they are just normal people.

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Is cutting a teenage girl's hair short appropriate punishment under any circumstance (in this case for poor grades, lying anf not following through on promises)? No, that's just cruelty for cruelty sake. Sort your life out.

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Do teenagers have any concept of money? The more they are given, the more they expect. +5

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If one says that their computer is gay, is it dating another computer of the same sex? Could mean it has a pink lid!

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Should chess really be considered a sport? - I mean, come on.. is there anything at all athletic about it? Trivial Pursuit is an extreme sport, so boring old chess must be a normal one. +5

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Why do people worship money and class? I turn this corner, I'm not taken serious coz I have no money. I run to that street; I'm not accepted coz I don't fit the class bill. I go to church; they give me a nasty look coz I don't tithe. Because their dark side believes love of money is the root of all evil.

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At what level is it a good idea to start congratulating other members' advancement? Whenever they go from Anonymous bluebagger to Non-troll.

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Why men can't cross their legs as tightly and gracefully as women? They can when women are giving birth.

| 1 person likes this

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What causes a condom to brake while in use? A dangerous corner and slippy roads

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The website had some really good deals and I'm thinking it's a little cheap, Now i want to palce a big order, 100 piece Nike shoe, but i hear that the purchases from China are often withheld by the C When buying in bulk from China, either visit the exporter at a trade show over there, or buy from a reputable importer here. And use secure payment (escrow/Letter of credit)

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Is there really an easy way to work from home, or are all of these "Work from home and make 30,000 dollars a month" ads bogus? Common sense tells me they are false. "picture my amazement when, after leaving my laptop switched on overnight, I awoke to discover that I had earned more than my entire street makes in a year. AND I LIVE ON WALL STREET!" Where do I sign?!?!?!?!?!

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What's your definition of "heaven on earth"? Belinda Carlisle's record collection.

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Why do some people with average eduation and IQ claim to know more than scientists in certain fields? Examples: Biological evolution? Age of the earth? Fossil study? Climate change? Fluoride for dental health? Do you know more than the scientists? Because they are like politicians. They want to feel important although they achieve nothing.

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Is capitalism moral? Only when everyone receives a tax deductible under-the-table bribe.

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I'm writing a book on addictions. Name only one. What is a trait associated with addiction Obsession and exclusion of other behaviours/activities

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What would you call someone who has no religion but believes in a Higher Power that is the Creator, but not God? Someone that likes word games.

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Who wants to join the party and welcome Murtaza Khalid to answerbag? Give him a real warm welcome now! Welcome to AB, Murtaza Khalid. You will find us to be most hospitable! En'sh'Allah

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Do Americans realize you all will go to hell? "What drove you to the scorching fire, they will ask, and they will answer,we did not pray; we did not feed the poor; we indulged with others [in mocking believers]; we denied the day of judgement" That's funny, The Qu'ran (above) says everyone from Morocco to Indonesia will.

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My boyfriend is always rubbing things in my face such as hes got a better job, hes being paid more, hes better in bed, hes doing in driving lessons! What am I to do? Should I break up with him or stay with him? Cuff him to the bed while dressed up as a nurse and get the Anne Summers kit out. That should tame the cheeky get sharpish.

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Is it ever OK to take something out of someone's refrigerator without their permission? Only if you put your 24 pack of beers in there an hour before :)

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Why do so many leading questions (from both sides) about GOD or ATHEISM have so many CAPITALS and MISPELINGS and being not quite gramatically WRITTEN? Comes from reading Olde English in the Bible that nobody actually understands, even in England. Then forming an opinion.

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Where does Rihanna go from here? I have no idea, as I don't know where she's been.

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If you were going to do something reckless and stupid, without drinking or taking any drugs,what would you do? Go snowboarding off piste under risk 5 avalanche.

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Which would be worse, self-inflicted poverty or forced socialism? I was richer and happier living in a socialist country than I ever have been in capitalist poverty.

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Do non-English-speaking European countries have their own rock music universes, or is there a strong English-language rock factor? Or do they just stick with polka music or something? Nordic countries and Holland have got such an American influenced culture it's pathetic. They all watch US TV from childhood and are veritable pseudo yanks. Obviously this has influenced what they listen to. Other countries like France, Spain and Germany have some great national bands but listen to the main English language groups too.

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When you see somebody get hit in the face by a cream pie, what would you add to that pie in order to make the event a little more interesting? A squash ball hidden inside it.

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How can i keep my babys little for life? If you find out, let me know the secret so I can buy kittens.

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Do you believe Jesus will return in your lifetime? Undoubtedly. Just as another John Smith will bless Englandshire.

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What kind of soup do you detest? Vermicelle is lame. Only to be consumed when nothing else available. +5

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Whats the worst chocolate you can pick out of the box? Those gruesome dark chocolates with orange filling.

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Does it make a difference if there is or isn't a God? No, because either way there's nothing any of us could do to swing the balance. So basically it doesn't matter.

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Would someone please tell Lenny Henry, that he is not nor has he ever been funny? Once a twat, always a twat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVgC0TKppZI

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Why do you think the American Moslim soldier turned his gun onto his comrades? Double agent with a screw loose.

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WHy do people say that you won't go anywhere with an English Degree? Because it doesn't teach saleable skills. Best to do an Msc the following year in something specialised.

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Do you feel repulsed when you see two men kissing? Question to straight guys. Yes but I don't oppose gay marriage.

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Hi. My husband looked at another girl, he forgot that I'm next to him. when at home I asked him why you looked at that girl, he answered because she is beautiful. he made me feel that I'm ugly for him, for him, I know I'm not ugly.he doesn't respect me? Beautiful women are ten-a-penny. Who's he with?

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Matthew 5:32 says: "whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery". Do you agree with this Biblical viewpoint? What words would you prefer to see concerning re-marriage? I agree neither with the biblical nor koranic perspectives (below). I'll marry who I damn well like. Do not marry women that your fathers married - with the exception of what is past - this is indeed a shameful thing to do, loathsome and leading to evil. You are forbidden to take as wives your mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of brothers and...

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Was Tom Baker, the best Doctor Who? Undoubtedly. But I must confess I haven't watch an episode since Davison.

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Does anyone know the Girl in this video? No, but she needs a new pair of jeans.

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Would you bath naked on a deserted beach? Sure

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What kind of boots should I wear with leggings? Kinky ones

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Was little house on the praire the most cheesy tv series ever? If not what was? Little house on the prairie was pure cheddar.

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What age do you have to get a tounge pericing If you can spell tongue, that's half the battle.

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Why won't my mom let me pierce my ears until I'm 16? I'm 14 now. And I wish I had piercings because I'm the only Goth who does'nt have anything pierced. Become emo and do it yourself.

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It seems that AB is getting more polarized. It is all "republicans this" and "democrats that".. am i alone in the opinion that such labels are near meaningless?? That people should be elected on their merit? which seems to be lacking in all politicians. You are correct. Politics should be seen only as entertainment, as it doesn't achieve anything except maintain a web of deceit.

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Is an IQ equal to a persons intelligence In a skewed sort of way. I know someone with an IQ of around 160 who can only speak 1 languge despite having tried to learn others.

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What TV commercial makes you immediately switch channels just to get rid of it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUghlEGfUK0

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Should I feel bad about trying to point out how Mormons are a cult? There's a rumour going round that the truth shall set you free.

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If you get away with murder would kill someone I'd join the army.

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Is Hunting a sport? Yes. So is racism.

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Do you get mad when someone corrects your grammar? What would you say to them when and if they do? Ah couldnae gie a toss if they dinnae ken the score. Gerrifayabassah!

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What should I wear to a coca-cola themed party? a straw hat.

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Why doesn't Jesus just drag all the nukes out into space in a giant net? 1. He's brown bread 2. He wasn't immaculately conceived on Krypton.

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Who invented the concept of "zero"? Zorro's half brother.

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Will you all help me convince dear sweet Munchkin to come back? she is a treasure, and will be missed. no pts please. What's going on? Where's Munchkin gone?

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Would you volunteer to die in order to save the planet? I and the planet are one. Do I get 72 virgins and a strange underjacket?!

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Is islam a danger on society no. terrorism is.

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What does the Qur'an say about looking at women? Arabs described beautiful women as being as precious as the ostrich eggs they protected from the dust with feathers.

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How can i pierce my own nose?? and is there anyway to hide it? If you're going to put a hole in your face, at least pay $10 for it.

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I'm thinking about re-editing my profile, but can't decide between arrogant ass or smug bastard. Any suggestions? Anything except for smug ass arrogant bastard. That would frighten 'em away! +5

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Can you speak in front of a crowd? Yes. With worrying despotism.

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If You Could Choose Any US Citizen To Be Our Next President In The USA ... Who Would You Pick? Jay Leno, because he can talk shit and get away with it.

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You come home to find your S.O. soaking his/her infected foot in your favorite cooking pot. What do you do? Delight in the knowledge that I will soon be making fish soup.

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What is the average price for gasoline in your area? £1/litre. Does that make sense?!

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Which talented animal trainer, works on Elton John`s hairpiece? Elton John's ****piece? Quite a few circus acts I should imagine.

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How are babies made? i have asked my parents so many times but they just change the subject In Romanian orphanages.

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Do you like wheat beer? I love that stuff. Erdinger Weissbier!

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My boyfriend says I am, " to kinky". What do I do? Become christian and buy a plaid skirt. Or get a real man.

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How much Alcohol would it take to get a thirteen year old drunk who has never even drank before .? ( 115lbs , not overweight whatsoever , and 5,4 , this is a project for D.A.R.E at school .) Probably 4 pints of cider.

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Do you respect God's authoritah? I never saw that word before, but if it belongs to God that's fair enough.

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In FL, Christians are pissed because the Atheists of FL have posted a billboard to promote their website. On the news last night, people were VERY ANGRY to see it. What is your reaction? Imagine my disgust as a British atheist being forced to walk past ancient churches on every street corner. I'm glad to say some have now become nightclubs.

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Who was the first Christian? Judas, because he sold out Jesus, thus founding the behavioral realities of Christianity which exist to this day.

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What is so great about history? It's an infinite pool of knowledge of questionable provenance.

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Why hasn't American football become a world sport? I can't see European talent scouts scouring the slums of Brazil to sponsor a kid through University and pay for his steroids.

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Why do Christians hate athiests? Because they're right.

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ICY is officially a SWAMI!!!! Please will you join me in CoNgRaTuLaTiNG her on this GREAT accomplishment!!!! YAY Icy! YOU GO GIRL!!!!! Well done, Icy! You sure earned it!!!

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Ok at A Party I saw my Friend Kissing my Girlfriends Neck putting his hands all over her body and she was trying to push him off but he wouldn't stop what would should I have done? You should have hurtled him across the room.

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Do you know how to code in HTML? If you do, do you do most of your coding directly inline or through a web page editor that inserts the HTML code for you? And do you have a preferred HTML or web page editor? Yes but I prefer to let Wordpress or Dreamweaver do it for me.

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I work with a girl who said her immune system is messed up because of a guy she dated in high school.. what might she have? Swine flu.

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If im married for 4 weeks and now sepperating then maybe divorced what am i entitled too? A pat on the back.

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If you drove off a cliff and hit terminal velocity on the way down, at what force would you have to push off and up to be able to essientally step out and be safe and unscathed? If the landing is flat, there would be a Captain Pancake scenario unless you were born on Planet Krypton. If on the other hand the landing is a 55 degree slope with a 20 foot covering of powder snow, you may be ok, once the avalanche stops.

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Should we (The United States of America) be wasting trillions of dollars on space exporation, which will bring no true benifit for possibly thousands of years, when we could be using it to improve our situation on Earth? No. But the fact of the matter is that we don't have a say in the matter.

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Are you an alcoholic if you consume it only on the weekends? That would make you a binge drinker, not an alcoholic.

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Have you ever answered a ringing pay phone when you didn't know who it was? If so, who was it? I always check for snipers before answering, but it's never for me.

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Should Christian women wear bikinis? Ever been to Europe ? ;-P

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Can you name 1000 (or more) people you met - from memory? Do my 25,000 twitter followers count? But seriously? No.

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Do you think the Afghan president is a cheat? Could he ever be trusted? If he's a self respecting politician, he'll never tell the truth, just bend it slightly.

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Guess who got a A on her second Economics Test?(Hurry up and guess before this question is rated nonsense:) That idiot with the sour faced avatar?

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What would you do if you found me in you house eating all your food? remind you I've been on holiday so it's 3 weeks past its sell-by date.

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Do you have a good view from your home? A nice view of some hills nearby.

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Who is cuter? Sarah Jessica Parker, Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Aniston? Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a transvestite's head on a woman's body. Sandra Bullock is fine, and Jennifer Aniston makes the most of what she's got.

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I`ve got a dirty greasy nob what should i polish it with or should i get some one else to do it as it looks hard Paint stripper should blister it nicely

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Whats another word for telling on someone? To grass them up

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What would you do if you found a frog in your greens? Look out the olive oil and garlic

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Canada has got the best what? wilderness

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Is there a TYPE of music that you dislike SO-O-O-O-O badly that when it comes on the radio you'll reach and turn the volume all the way DOWN? Cheap dance music mixed with commercial rap.

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On a scale of 1-10, How big of a flirt are you? Not much, maybe a 7 ;-)

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Have you ever tried to move something with your "mind power"? My eyebrow.

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Have you ever seen or heard someone speaking in tongues? For a joke I once spoke in Portuguese to a bunch of astonished Christians, who were convinced I was filled with some spirit or other. I convinced them it was only whisky.

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While listening to a Spanish-speaking native, I noticed they dropped the 's' from the end of words. (ex. instead of 'Muchas Gracias' it was "Mucha Gracias") Why do Spanish-speakers do this? Ease of speech, laziness and regional accents or dialects.

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Do you think you can cheat on someone if you really love them? Sure. If she's messing you about and playing with your emotions... She deserves it.

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If 57% of men are circumcised, name the 20 uncut presidents. Evidence would be circumstantial...lol

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We have Born to run, Born to be wild, etc. What short Born to... phrase would describe you best? Born to watch Starsky & Hutch reruns.

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The Bible tells us to stay a virgin until marriage. I don't ever want to get married. Am I really obligated to stay a virgin until I die? Did it also tell you to nail God to a cross?

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Do you think the food eaten 40 years ago was more nutritional than it is now? Sure, there was less additives and processing. Except for Spam and Smash...

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Does anyone know of a place i could train to be a Ninja? Not to go on missions or anything nerdy like that, i simply wish to learn the dicipline the oriental warriors have obtained. Go train Ninjutsu at your local club.

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I am a volunteer worker assisting with social work uplifting people in Africa. I am isolated but have internet. I am looking for something simple to do to generate a little cash. Only crumbs needed to get me a flight to the UK. Any ideas? Organise a group sponsored event in Africa, like a walk or run. Set up a sponsorship page on http://www.justgiving.co.uk/ Try to raise several thousand for the charity and make sure your charity agrees to pay your airfare which will be hundreds.

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Have you ever sayed you loved someone and didnt mean it? No, but I've told someone I loved them and realised that I didn't soon afterwards.

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Would you ever consider taking a vacation alone? Yes, I've done so on several occasions, it's the best way to understand foreign cultures and meet locals and other travellers.

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So I ask the "Drive Thru" guy if he ever went out after work. And his reply was "Well not usually I have computer class on Saturday mornings and then I have to work Sat night and Sunday" So do you think that means he has no interest in me? He probably makes smalltalk with most clients and wouldn't expect your question to mean you were interested in him.

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Do you think some people on AB forget (or don't care) that there are real people behind these questions when they are giving life altering "advice" or being really rude to people.? Some people might take care to offer heartfelt advice for certain questions (pregnancy, boyfriend, religion etc). But other AB users delight in making fun of these typical first day user or "troll" questions, which often can't be taken seriously.

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What emotional and psychological problems do you think Michael Jackson suffers from? At this stage in his incarnation, probably less than most psychiatrists.

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DO you think Michael Jackson would've gone to Hell, but Satan & demons found him so entertaining he was actually making Hell less miserable for everyone, so they rejected him and sent him to Heaven? I could've sworn Wacko was Satan, in the Thriller video.

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What age is too old to get a tattoo or belly ring? It's less about age, more about muscle and skin tone.

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Do you believe that Michael Jackson was really in the casket at the Memorial? No. It's obvious he lives undetected as a women in downtown Tehran.

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How will you describe "Michael Jackson" in one word? absurd

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What happens when i turn 25? You will wake up with a huge beerbelly and a receding hairline.

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I hate all meat eaters! They kill innocnt animals. How do you feel about these words? How do you feel about vegetarian assasins?

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I never believed Michael Jackson molested children do you? He makes Roman Polanski seem like Mother Teresa.

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I heard an Arab saying that said "for enough money a man will kill his only brother" Do you have a price (no matter how high) you'd whack your brother or sister off for? No. Nor would I give an arm and a leg to own a Ferrari.

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Truthfully i walked in on my brother masturbaiting 2days ago what should i do? Next time you suspect he's at it, open the door rapidly and let out a blood curdling scream. Then tell your parents you saw a mouse.

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This kid a my school wants to fight me im not scared of him but he keeps talking stuff behind my back and I don't want to tell a teacher and I don't want to fight him because I can really hurt him what should I do? Don't fight him. Just slap him in the face like the bitch that he is. If he retaliates, repeat. Then deck him if he gets aggro.

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How long would you like to live to be if you could maintain perfect health? Health seems to head south between 75 & 80.

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I just caught my lil bro looking at toon porn and touching himself what do i do? Lucky it wasn't MILF porn. Now go play with your Barbie doll.

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What is your secret for such beautiful skin? I rarely put anything on it except hot water and shaving foam.

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Who's more stupid, Adolf Hitler or Osama bin Laden? Difficult question. A toss up between a man who sold a kidney on eBay, and one who's hair was the envy of a generation...

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If I randomly called a brown man "A Muslim", would he be offended? I'm white and would laugh if I were called a Jehovah's Witness. Does that answer your question?

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In our modern world, do you think that if a child was never told anything about the possible existence of a higher power, that they would still come to believe in one? Why, or why not? Only if they were told stories in direct contradiction to their experiences.

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Should I take Arabic, Chinese, French, German, Russian, Japanese, or Spanish in college? I have to take four semesters of Foreign Language for Austin Community College to be eligible for transfer to the University of Texas at Austin Surely Spanish is the one you would have the most practical use for, living so close to Mexico. It's also the easiest one to learn of those you mentioned.

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MEN: Would you be terribly disappointed if your wife or significant other told you they PREFER boring cotton pajamas to those "frilly", lacy, see-throughie, doll baby thingies (which, by the way, really ARE . . . . . . . .UNCOMFORTABLE)? I twice pulled otherwise fit birds only to discover they wore "kidneywarmers". Those were slow nights, I can tell you.

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Why all the prophets are from middle east? Is it some sort of belief they used to have by the system they followed there? Because the Middle East is the most serein and spiritual place on Earth, and could teach us a thing or two about peace and sharing?

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Che Guevara, hero or villain? Fanatical photogenic despot wannabe, who would have been a T-shirt mogul had he been alive today.

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How do you feel about prostitution? Is it ever justified? No. I do not see it as a necessary evil. But I would argue that women who marry for money are not far off the mark.

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Is T-20 cricket is more interesting than American baseball or football? Watching paint dry is more invigorating than cricket.

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What does it mean to be a 'good' Christian? To have outdated Victorian values.

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Why do people look at the homeless as second class people? Because some people in a consumer society can't see beyond what a person owns, where they live or what they do with their money. The homeless have been excluded from wealth based civilisation.

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Men: Do you honestly find women more attractive when they aren't wearing any make-up? Beautiful women don't need it. Some women put on too much of that orange foundation, making them look worse. Less is more.

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What shouldn't an airline pilot forget to do? Tell us how bad the weather will be when we get to the UK.

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What is the difference between C and C++ There were a couple of improvements.

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What should a Catholic priest do when he can't handle celibacy? choke the vicar.

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Is it wrong to love a computer language? Not if you can use it to create Kelly Brock out of Weird Science.

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Are generals sometimes wrong? Everybody is wrong sometimes.

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A judge in Massachusetts ruled that a burrito is not a sandwich...do you agree or disagree? Is he the same judge that ruled that frozen potato chips were fresh vegetables? Maybe he's right this time. Burritos are no more a sandwich than stuffed pancakes would be. Where's the bread?

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Is it irresponsible for a father to make his teenage son (who has a driver's license) his designated driver when he goes out drinking with friends? I think it's unwise, but I wanted to know what others thought. No, it's responsible. In Britain, almost everyone has been drunk many times before they get their driving license at 17. It's just helping a family member. Just as long as it's not twice each week, or when does the kid get to go out?!

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A member only asks questions. Doesn't answer, comment , rate, no interaction whatsoever. Do you still rate and answer? I did but got bored with his questions, so I stopped.

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Have you ever answered a question by saying "I don't know"? No, I'd sooner not reply. There's no point.

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I've been living with my girlfriend for over a year now, but she still doesn't like me using her tooth brush. Well how else am I meant to get dog sh!t out of my trainers? Come on, eh? Surely her hairbrush would work better!

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Can i still be a mormon even though i'm an alcoholic and a homosexual who also tends to use viagra? I'm guessing you're not a mormon.

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What are the first things you could imagine to see in Hell? A television showing reality TV, a pile of bills, a grey sky with drizzly rain and Lady Gaga on the radio. And people discussing Jesus and Politics.

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When you "check out" a girl's butt do you think about the eternal fiery torment that you're condemning your soul to? No, because I'm not condemning myself to anything more than my friend's jack russell when it sniffs another dogs ass. +5

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Last week while drunk I pulled beneath myself and slept with a BOBFOC (Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch). Now she is texting me for more & I am having nightmares about her and regularly waking up in a cold sweat. How can I get over this and move on? I would suggest getting half as drunk and see if you pull twice as nice. Work out your drink/pulling ratios on a scale of 1 to 10.

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Would you ever eat a chocolate starfish and drink some hot dog flavored water No thanks. 1950's tea-towel holders are nasty.

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Would you ever be the president of a country? That wouldn't be possible. I have a birth certificate AND I know where it is.

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Does your bottom need work? It can't be arsed looking.

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Is it gay or not? One day i and my friend was watching straight porn. I am fat so my chest even have extra meat and my friendmake fun of me that it is breast like. So porn excited a lot and he and i have oral and anal 1+ with us acting both top and bttm Are you concerned you may be straight?

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Does it hurt to still kitchen utensals up your anal passage and what would be the best sort as i`m having guests around for dinner tonight The fine would be less for a wooden spoon than a condom full of coke, if you were planning on doing so at J.F.K.

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Can i lay under the wheels of your car and you drive over me? Only if you are a two-year old infant from the planet Krypton.

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How free is the "free world"? You might be "freer" in Venezuela or Lebanon. In Britain the average citizen is caught on CCTV 300 times per day. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/david_aaronovitch/article5834725.ece

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How long can you let an Egg McMuffin sit at room temperature without it going bad? I bought it 4 hours ago, is it still ok to eat? You could fedex it to Bosnia and it still wouldn't kill anyone.

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Which language to learn? I want to learn a foreign language but I am confused which one Japanese, Chinese, German or Russian (my loved one) .Please help me out of quandary Depends on your reason for learning. If you are going to have a practical use for a language, such as immersing yourself in the community or visiting the country, then learn that one.

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Is it cheating if you have dinner with someone of the opposite sex every week, the same person? Not if you're gay.

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My girlfriend slept with a guy from her work, it is a 90% male work place, and everyone knows. This was before we were together, She lied to me several times when Ive asked if this occured, because I had heard rumor. She finally came clean and said yes. Sounds like a can of worms.

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What are some tips on being "mysterious"? Never speak to anyone and arouse suspicion as often as possible.

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What is behind the obsessive need for the mormons to document everyone's genealogy? Maybe they plan on burning some churches as soon as they've finished.

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I bought a marble on ebay for $275 that turned out to be a counterfeit. How can I track the seller down and get my money back. If you used PayPal for the ebay transaction you could be covered for up to $500.

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Why aren't you already a vegetarian? Tofu kebab after a night on the sauce? Nah!

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Do you believe something really bad is gonna happen in the year 2012 like some people believe? Wow, this must be the original question that inspired a thousand duplicates. RESPECT!

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Would you pay to see New York Times stories online? No, there are too many places to get decent news for nothing.

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Would you eat a poop flavored jelly bean? You might have better luck selling jelly bean flavored shit.

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What would you do if someone walked up to you and spit on your shoe? Kick him in the teeth

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What is the best thing about your town...? The international airport.

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Would you marry a hot pocket? No. But I'd marry a bird who gave me a hot pocket.

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How to gain knowledge and wisdom Go way out your comfort zone, i.e. fly to another continent where you know nobody and barely speak the language.

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How do you get over someone who broke up with you? Get blind drunk, pour your heart out to some random stranger....

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How to make lots of money fast legally? Live in Canada Work as a hedge fund manager.

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Why are some people on AB so scared of Muslims? Who knows. There are huge Pakistani immigrant communities in the UK and they are mostly.... harmless.

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If you don't respect their position or thoughts, can you still respect the person? Only if they have a likeable attitude and decent personality. Otherwise I will label them as a fool.

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I've met this girl and I think she likes me. Only thing is she believes Obama will have to auction his Nobel Prize in 2012 or he'll cause an apocalypse. Might this cause her to get pregnant? Or is she an al Qaeda terrorist in league with Satan? I would be wary of that one. Sounds like an only child.

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Do you believe a woman is a failure if she cannot organize and decorate her home? Why or why not? No. That's what painters and decorators are paid for.

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What is your favorite part of Southern France? Porquerolles

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What is French? Forget Parisian style and perfume. This is Marseille old skool style ;-P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmadh6-mmTM

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Why are boys gay? You got me there. Why are lesbians straight?

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Nov 1st three African Grey Parrots came to me in a dream and informed me my wife is cheating on me. Should I hire a PI to confirm this or confront her immediately? The parrots have provided mostly reliable information in the past. Basing the future of one's marriage on bird brained revelations is probably cheaper and more effective than seeing a therapist. The cheating maiden must be confronted immediately.

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What is a catchy slogan for a funeral parlor? De-sinning process. Entry to heaven guaranteed.

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Would you get sick if you ate a pound of bacon? only if i were jewish!

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Would you get completely naked in a nudist beach What's the point in going to a nudist beach if you don't. To perv?

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Should Answerbag make available the names of everyone who is in the penalty box? No. Only the FIFA referee can decide what happens in the penalty box. It's far too important.

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Person that touch his own hair all the time? I see a person who I don't know outside and he always touch his hair (on the back of his head). I wander what is it, is it a mental disorder of some sort? This is bizarre. You must report this to the relevant authorities at once.

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Do you believe that viewing porn (soft and non-nude included) is immoral? it's fine as long as your girlfriend doesn't suss out the gesture. honest.

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Why do some guys act differently around their friends compared to when they are with their girlfriend? It's situational. They like to be well behaved for their missus, but still have a laugh with their friends.

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Any tips on street fighting? Move to England and become a football hooligan, if that's what you're into. Then you have 40,000 people to back you up when you're down.

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Do you send at least one text message a day? Probably not. But every time I top up my credit, I get 500 free (to be used that month!)

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If your sister and your mother was hanging off the cliff and you only can save one who would you save? Only film stars can save people hanging off cliffs. So it wouldn't be a happy day.

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On a scale of 1-10 how do you rate your local postal service? It will always deliver the bills when you least expect them, and never deliver an urgent internet order when required. 5/10

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Could someone give me a plan on how to get a sixpack 1. Have the genetic potential to have one in the first place 2. Eat properly 3. Lose the gin gut by aerobics. 4. Train your whole body 5. Work your abs.

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What would happen, if a child were never introduced to God, or mystical religions. Can teaching morals without the God guilt trip be plausible? Could the child function and prosper without having it's free will interrupted? Only 4% of the population in Denmark, Norway and Sweden attend church weekly. Yet those countries are among the most prosperous and crime free in the world. It must be a miracle.

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If you died and went to hell, what torture device do you think you would be sentenced to and why? Being temporarily surrounded by praying Christians because I would only be paying a flying visit from nowhere and they would mistake me for God because I would be old and grey.

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What's your favorite girl's name beginning with 'B'? I suppose Biatch is out the question? Then Brigitte.

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Is islam a religon or a way of life. please help. Both. The Koran forms the cultural, ethical, legal and religious base of many Islamic nations.

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Why would space aliens be interested in visiting Earth? To find out whether J.Lo really had twins, or if it were simply a hoax declared by the square electronic reality box.

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I had an affair with my neighbor and got caught. The problem is our kids are very good friends and play together constantly. The affair is 100% over but my husband doesn't want our kids near his. I can't bear to do that to them. What do you all think? Give him an ultimatum: "Either the kids play together or we move house." That should give him something to think about.

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How to get a straight men to turn gay Lift his shirt and see if he jumps a puddle.

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I am a 16 m/gay. my parents have been trying to have the sex talk with me but, i feel they do not know what to say about gay sex. i am already sexualy active, do you think i should tell them that and do you know how they can learn about gay sex? Tell them there's a bit of give and take involved.

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What is one thing (if anything) you don't want to take off during sex. Your "scream" mask.

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Is Jehovah’s Witnesses a False religion Your question is flawed in that it assumes other religions are true.

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Muhammad was betrothed to Aisha when she was 6 or 7 y/o and the marriage consummated when she was 9 ( see wikipedia entry for Aisha). What are your thoughts, i.e would he today have been considered a paedophile or prosecuted for statutory rape of a minor? Sure, if it were true it would be a case of the Roman Polanski's. But I would tend to treat any reference to numbers and ages with suspicion. They could symbolise anything. After all, in the Bible some of those critters "really did live" till they were 923, so who really knows anything about all that mythology.

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Recently, I have been attending a Chruch that requires members to pay tithes of 10% of everything you earn. Do you agree with this practice? Sounds like a few people are getting very very rich.

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How can anyone believe in the theory of evolution of the human race? how can you believe we evolved from monkeys? isn't it an insult to GOD? If you believe in God then you will believe that said monkey is one of his cherished creatures, worthy of a 1st class ticket on Noah's Ark. So what the fuck has that got to do with evolution?

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Donatella Rovera (Amnesty International) says Israel should lift all restrictions on Palestinians' access to water (70 liters/day c.f. 300 liters/day for Israelis). What are your thoughts on this? Should Palestinians be treated more humanely? Everybody has a right to be treated humanely and have access to enough water whether in a desert or not. Israelis in the West bank have swimming pools, which is a serious waste of resources if there are the shortages that the Jews claim. But the Palestinians will always be treated as inferiors as long as they continue acts of terrorism. In the meantime, withholding water will only cause tempers...

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How do i get a co-worker to shut up so i can leave... i wind up staying 30-40 minutes after work because he wont shut up. both of us are males..not gay.. he just goes on about politics and i hate talking politics..i have to say i need to go 3-4 times! Just talk right through him while getting up and say, "right mate, i've gotta dash because I'm decorating the flat and we've got friends coming for the weekend..." or similar bullshit.

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My right hand is chapped and the skin is cracking. Is there ant special lotions or something to make it stop? E45 cream, in the UK.

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I have decided to punch a kid who has always made fun of me. The only times I see him are at football and in school but I am afraid i would get in trouble if I did it at those places. What should I do? It's 3 years since you asked this question. So now you weigh 80lbs more and measure 6'7" have you let him live?

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Who do you think is the worst actor / actress you have seen on TV or the movies? Linda Grey off of Dallas when Sue Ellen was supposed to be drunk.

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How would you handle it if your girlfriend told y ou she never wanted to get married? It wouldn't bother me in the slightest because she would already know I don't believe in marriage. But hypothetically, if I were interested in marriage and she told me she wasn't, I would be concerned she lacked the same emotional commitment.

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Ham________ Ham Shank

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Tell me, this aint cheap. A friend I know wasnt allowed to flush the toilet unless they peed in it at least 5 times. Now does anything get any cheaper than that? Did a dump reset the counter?

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Is 12 old enough for sex? No way.

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What do we learn in school that is usseless in our everyday lives? useless is an attitude.

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What's the first video game you've ever played? A tennis video game with 2 rectangles as rackets and a square as the ball.

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If these muslim people can't eat pork, how come they eat bacon? You have to get them so drunk on forbidden liqour that they don't give a shit.

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Why do people perceive me as 'racist' if I do a mock Chinese or Japanese accent? I do mock French, Russian, and Scottish accents all the time and no one ever perceives that as racist! One of the funniest things I ever saw was in a Chinese restaurant in London after a night out. It was 3am and the Chinese owner started speaking to us in completely exaggerated mock Chinese accented English. Hysterical :) http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/chinese-chicken-p1.php

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Why is English class important? "because wankers don't like snobs, because snobs employ wankers to make dough without being able to earn enough bread to stay off their manor nicking wheels." Your question was about the class system in contemporary England, was it not?

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Is it just me or does it seem like white people never win when it comes to racism? What do you want to hear, that you're better than a black or an asian? Nobody wins because it's a fools game.

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Is it okay to be proud of who you are, Even if you are white? I couldn't care less about being white or European, but that's only because it's never given me any problems.

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Has Obama implemented Sharia law yet? Osama? Yeah, sure.

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How would you react if Starbucks lowered all their prices to $99 cents? I would reply "yes" to the question "would you like to have your cake and eat it, with your coffee Sir?"

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Males!"Will you have sex with any woman allows you to?" I'm single. About 1 woman in 10 is worthy. When I'm drunk, I may bring home something unspeakable. But it's just for coffee.

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Women still expect men to have chivalry, what should men still expect from women? They should be able to throw a tennis ball correctly.

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How come Jews aren't allowed to eat pig meat but Christians can? Is there somewhere in the new testament where Jesus says "It's okay to eat pigs now"? Because they are semitic people, like Arabs. Kosher means Halal. But that does not include meat of swine, which is deemed "unfit for human consumption". (theoretically that should include most of the meat sold by street vendors across the middle east.)

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If a husband and wife lose their virginity to each other and never stray throughout their marriage, but he beats her senseless every night and she finally leaves, would God really send her to Hell if she met and married someone else? He would send the good woman to hell if she complained. But if she murdered her husband then repented, she would be sorted.

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Gays have a flag...what would a "straight" flag look like? Not sure. But it wouldn't be camper than a row of pink tents.

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What should we do if our bank fails? In many countries bank deposits are guaranteed by the government should a bank go under.

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Have you ever hung up on a telemarketer? Many times. But I prefer to let them explain their pitch first before confessing to having an 18 month contract with their competitor.

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When will Muslims start to realize that they've been misguided for centuries for blindly trusting a Prophet they've never meet, just because he was able to convince people in the 7th century? They'll realise that about 600 years after the Christians do. All good things come to those who wait.

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Think you have guts? Would you be willing to draw Mohammed's picture with a crayon and post it on the web along with your real name? I never met anyone that saw what he looked like. Ensh'Allah ;)

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What exactly is a "manly" man? NOT: A 9 stone weakling that's had 5 pints of wifebeater and carries a knife.

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Are Muslims the new Blacks? Yes, they all moved to Togo, didn't you hear?

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Why are some people on AB so scared of Muslims? One of my neighbors is from Pakistan. Should I call MI5?

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I'm scared that Muslims will take over Asia some day, can I get a Green Card to America? Sure, just send me $1,000,000 to my Nigerian Bank account, I promise I will sort it out.

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What will happen if the whole world becomes muslum? We can visit Marseilles without being pickpocketed.

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What has a Catholic done to you personally? Thrown me through a plate glass window and left me to bleed to death. But that's Scotland for you.

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Does anyone know where I can find something cheap to act as a mini parachute for when I jump from my school's roof? Mary Poppins fans swear by umbrellas

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I am male single, mid 30's and have slept with enough women to know what I want. Haven't had s/o for 5 years. I've always been faithful when I had one. What's the best way to go about meeting Miss Right for a relationship and marriage? Go to Church on Sundays, you might find a cute female gremlin there :) good luck.

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If you could vote Obama out of office, would you? I don't think my birth certificate would allow it, nor my passport. So yes, definitely.

| 1 person likes this

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You're having sex. The phone rings. Do you stop and answer it? A button going off on one side, and a bell on the other? Give me a break!

| 2 people like this

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Who really believes that the world will end in 2012? 6 billion people winning the maximum payout at the lottery on 12/31/2011 is more likely.

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Prostitution and Drugs: Should they be legal? Why don't you go score some coca then go get laid off a $50 whore. If you enjoy it, simply start a petition for the Good President.

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LOL I just got -8 for expressing my religious views...are we still allowed to believe in God or am I missing something? Sure you get my vote, believe in God, just don't publicly admit you think a mangod holds the key to heaven and eternal fish sandwiches and chardonnay. Then you should be ok :) +5

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Do men typically wer athletic cups while sparring? So they dont get kicked in the town halls.

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Does size matter when you are getting in a fight? Sure, in toy fights. I'm 6'4 and 250lbs. In jujitsu I have to fake being thrown by all the little guys. But in the real world I still wouldn't like to be attacked by a decent boxer, a trained soldier, an aggressive doorman on steroids, a Glasgow nutter with a knife or a group of drunks with smashed bottles.

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This girl wants me to move in with her. i am 18 and so is she. we both love each other but she lives like 3 hours away should i move in with her? Keep the fun alive and drive over to see her each weekend. That way it might last.

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Can someone explain to me, what Obama did to earn the Noble Peace Prize? okay, that's a minute.

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Are you offended by Larry David urinating on a picture of Jesus Christ in "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? No, but it just shows the disgraceful state of entertainment. I bet he wouldn't have the balls to piss on a shot of the prophet Mohammed or the president of Russia.

| 1 person likes this

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What is the name of the Coffee that you drink at home? Bellarom for the espresso & Nescafe for the instant.

| 3 people like this

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Can you finish this sentence?: The doctor said ,"___________". ..... "we screwed up, I'm sorry."

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Why do alot of people hate country music? because it's dismal.

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I should like to give Noel Edmonds a _________? phone on 01-811-8055 so I can swap my old Viz comics.

| 2 people like this

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Which countries is Tierra del Fuego in? I'm guessing Argentina & Chile.

| 3 people like this

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I killed a person. Change this sentence into the future tense. I want a real funny answer. I am counting down the seconds until I put that two-bit waste of space out of his misery!

| 1 person likes this

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When are you too old to trick or treat? (Im almost 15 and i still go for the candy) Here in Scotland, about 10. Saying that, I was in town earlier and there were loads of adults dressed up for halloween theme nights in pubs and clubs. The mind boggles.

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Why are so many men willing to lose a good woman, home and family just for a piece on the side? (I know women cheat also...but I'm directing this to men) Some men might wonder why they are working 70 hours a week to support a shopaholic wife that drives 2 spoilt ungrateful brats to school and back, without even getting a proper BJ for his troubles.

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Do you think women complain about issues "inflicted" upon them by men, more than necessary? Yes. Normally a man will just get redder and redder in the face until he disappears with his secretary.

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What is a good hang over cure? (besides not drinking alcohol in the first place) Drink a can of Irn Bru and have a white roll with lorne sausage and HP sauce. And seven aspirin. Followed by another 5 hours in bed. Then repeat until full health is restored.

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Are there still places in Scotland where the old 'Sawain' is celebrated as Halloween is? I have never heard of that here, no.

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Do gentlemen really prefer blondes? Ugliness as opposed to hair colour, will result in my veto.

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Why do people who cheat on their spouses and leave blame the one they leave behind and all of a sudden their children take a backseat to this new woman or man? These are the people that never really wanted kids in the first place, they just went along with the ex's choice.

| 1 person likes this

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What's your secret to happiness? Developing a transient state of inner ignorance that you can call upon at will.

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So the little brats have just knocked on my door for the umpteenth time tonite. The next one that calls i will __________________? scream at through the letterbox to make 'em drop their bundles.

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Is it wrong to eat horse? Not if it's shergart.

| 1 person likes this

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What is spiritual death? It's when you get shot through the soul, but don't bleed to death.

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Why do most people sin despite knowing its a sin? For the same reason that people drink water when a drought is likely.

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This guy in my class always calls me cuty and sweety but put me in embarassing situations and makes everyone laugh at me, and then just ignore me as if nothing happens, why is he doing that to me??? why does he find me so funny? He's an idiot, call him babe or sweetheart in front of everyone that doesn't like him. Get revenge.

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Kylie or Danii Minogue? Which one would you? They've both got a set of teeth a horse'd be proud of.

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Where is a good place to go on a diving holiday? Sinai peninsula, Egypt.

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I'm trying acid for the first time next week. your not gonna talk me out of it so you might as well give advice. I just want to know everything about acid e.g. the do's and don'ts, what do do when trippin, best way do it and your favourite way to do it . < microdot

| 1 person likes this

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If Christ was resurrected and had a body when he was resurrected, where is the body now? It went missing like 98% of the original manuscripts from the Bible.

| 2 people like this

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What is health care like in Russia? I went there 20 years back and got ill. Concerned about the strange color of generic medicin being offered, I was reassured, "in Rassia, medicin is tested on humans not animals." Thank God for those goulags.

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Hi I'm a 33 year old guy and I'm waiting until marriage to make love because I belive this is the nicest gift to give to my wife on the wedding day. Would you women date a virgin? You've missed out on 18 years already. Maybe only 10 left until viagra time. Don't waste it.

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What's up with people on here who tell people to "Learn to spell" if they ever want a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Seriously... Don't know. Maybe it has something to do with: "CUZ LIKE I LIKE DIS GIRL RIGHT, BUT LIKE DON'T LIKE KNOW IF LIKE SHE LIKES ME, OR LIKE NOT AND WOTEVA. and similar unintelligble stories that are meant to be KWESTYINZ.

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What timezone are you in? GMT/Universal

| 1 person likes this

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"The extinction of the human race will come from its inability to emotionally comprehend the exponential function." For the few people on here who will know what it means, what do you think about this quote? If a couple have more than 2 kids they contribute to and compound the problem for their own little middle class comfort.

| 1 person likes this

Answer to:
How to get cocaine out of your system use a masking agent.

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What is the name of a movie that would be scary for a child to watch? Shaun of the Dead, an English horror comedy.

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AAAAAHHH...I recently cut my hair...and i love the new look...but i got more attention when i had my long hair....now only a few heads turn and im not as confident....so my question is (For guys only) do u prefer long hair on a woman or short hair?... Long hair.

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How long do you think it will take me to reach Sage? Depends how many hours you spend per day, how many questions you ask and how good your answers are.

| 1 person likes this

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It's an accepted fact that the Mayor of your home town has more influence in your life than does the President . Do you know the name of your town's Mayor? No, but I can hear a helicopter approaching so you must be right.

| 1 person likes this

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What is most likely to happen when a police officer meets a street prostitute? If I am to believe what I see on TV, she will feed him false information for £20 and some seized drugs then wake up naked in a skip.

| 1 person likes this

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All of George W. and Jeb Bush's children have been in trouble with the law. Why is it, unlike all Americans who commit crimes ranging from sexual misconduct to felony prescription fraud, the Bush kids never go to prison? Those crimes must set precedent to push new laws through.

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Where is the best place to hide a dead body? In a drawer at the morgue.

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Answer to:
Can you describe your bank account in 3 words or less? Totally Self-Explanatory

| 4 people like this

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When is a good time to trick or treat? Today is the 31st of October, which curiously enough is Halloween, the traditional day for annoying one's neighbours. Looks like you hit the nail on the head!

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Wats a french kiss? Rouler une pelle

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What time do you expect the kids to show up for trick or treat tonight? About 5 minutes after I disconnect the doorbell.

| 1 person likes this

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Which race of people have you personally had the most trouble dealing with? And why? Don't worry. If you answer, you won't be admitting to being a racist or anything. My own race. Because they're in the majority and there's a large percentage of muppets among them.

| 3 people like this

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Would you date a married man/women? only if she were separated or divorced

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What is the worst thing about the Internet? The fact that it's possible to get addicted to such pointless nonsense.

| 1 person likes this

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If you farted in a public place & someone looked at you accusingly would you own up or blame someone else! Immediately scour the area and say to the nearest wee schemie, "wiz that yu ya manky wee bastart?"

| 2 people like this

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Can you get pregnant through dry humping if the girl is naked and the guy has his drawers on? A seepage explosion, perhaps?

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What is the most asked or worn out question on Ab? There's this girl I like and I think she might like me too (if it's not my teenage imagination running wild). What should I do and what should I do if that doesn't work and I don't know what to do. (absense of question mark)

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Answer to:
What Color is best for your Car? If you want to find it in a carpark, don't get metallic silver.

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Is 5'6" tall for a girl? I would really like to know! Any answers? No, but it's perfect.

| 3 people like this

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Why do men leave the toilet seat up? If you live alone, it only needs to be down 20% of the time.

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Why do most men prefer skinny girls over curvy ones? Not true. Most men do not like women to be like rakes. They like shapely yet slender girls. There's a huge difference. The key is that shapely does not mean fat, nor does it mean skinny.

| 2 people like this

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Who, if anybody, is stealing California's water? Excellent. A pretext for blaming the Iranians!

| 2 people like this

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Is american christianity extremist? I didn't think so until I visited this site. But as a non-practising British protestant who is basically atheist, I have to say yes. I have never seen anything like it, it's comparable to the Moonies or the Jehovahs witnesses.

| 3 people like this

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Already been asked. Why should nudity be illegal to the public? Because they don't allow buses on the sidewalk.

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Is barack obama ever going to do anything. Name a president in any country that ever did anything other than pay lipservice.

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My friends don't like my husband. They think he's not good for me. The keep pushing me to leave him but I don't want to. I love him and he's a good man. I hate when they say mean things about him. It's my friends or my husband. What should I do? If things are fine between you and your husband, then it's none of their business. If they can't handle that, find some friends who can.

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Should you ever criticise a friend's driving skills? No, it's safer to drop a few subtle hints.

| 4 people like this

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Do you ever get white spots on your nails? If so, do you know what causes them? Calcium deficit or a brick landed on your hand.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you go through times when you have ZERO interest in a relationship or dating? Of course. But yesterday I was sitting opposite this perfect piece of blond Polish talent on the bus, and have since decided it is time to sort my life out.

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Does anyone actually understand how to use Twitter? Yes. Every time you do something irrelevant, simply update your status. Your "followers" will be delighted to know that you just ate a cheese and ham sandwich.

| 1 person likes this

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When you were a kid what was your school bus driver like? He looked like Fat Freddy out of the old Fabulous Furry Freak Brother comics. Classic.

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What is an acceptable amount to spend on Christmas gifts for coworkers? (this is the first Christmas for me as an employee) I wouldn't know, I've never done that.

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I have a Matchbox mustang . Made in England by, Lesney. Series #8. there is a lever that makes the front wheels turn left and right. I am needing to know what this may be worth, and the date it may have been made. Thanks, Bryan Look at http://www.ebay.co.uk/ and search for matchbox lesney under collectibles

Answer to:
How often are answers given on this site actually helpful? The pregnancy tips and relationship advice answers are particularly well appreciated I understand.

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I am fat, ugly, short, stupid, and every negative things I could find in myself. Whoever said I am pretty, I think they just wanted to make me happy, they were lying to me. I think I shouldn't have been born. What's wrong with me? You need to make a serious move out of your unconfortable rut. See things from a different perspective. Go see a doctor, get sorted, move to Baja and learn Spanish and how to surf for 6 months.

| 1 person likes this

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What are the 3 main components of the business system that comprise a business? depends on the business type, and the business model.

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I think I am pretty darn ugly, why do I only like good looking men? 1. You're only human. 2. Beggars can't be choosers 3. Find the compromise I say this as an average looking guy that only likes stunners :)

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What do you think of that saying "the customer is always right"? you would need to read your employers' small print, which states: "even a self righteous cretin is entitled to be right, once in a blue moon."

| 1 person likes this

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If I told you that I need you, as a friend, how would you respond to me? granted :)

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What has star wars taught you about life? That a big pile of sh*te like Jabba The Hutt talks more sense than some university lecturers.

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What do you think is after death? no more tax

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Would you date an independent, pretty woman with a good personality, if you knew that she was black? I wouldn't date anyone if I didn't know what she looked like. Colour has nothing to do with it.

| 1 person likes this

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If someone greeted you by saying: Jesus loves you! What would you say? Gouranga! Cowabunga!

| 1 person likes this

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Besides 'not being home', what's one way to deter 'Jehovahs' Witnesses'? Keep a pile of esoteric comics at your front door and convince them to take one each time they visit.

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After a long successful War on Terrorism why are the democrats apologizing to our enemies? Successful? Even a European with an MBA and a job in London can't fly into Miami Airport without getting a retina scan and being questioned about their intentions as if they were a refugee looking for a greencard! Talk about talking things too far!

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Ok, you come upon a guy driving 50mph down the highway with his blinker on. You're 100 miles from the nearest exit. What do you do? Highbeam the sleeping idiot and overtake at the first opportunity. Failing that, undertake if he's driving in the middle of the road.

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You accept an offer for dinner at a friend's house. You sit down and they set a plate of creamed chipped beef on toast in front of you. What do you do? I would wonder why there wasn't a bite taken out of it already.

| 1 person likes this

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Whats the best weapon in a food fight? A huge pot of stinking fish soup

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Would you convert to a different religion for love? No, I would demand that she denounce her delusional beliefs.

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Which US President got Nobel prize, doubled happiness, doubled hope, doubled yen, doubled federal deficit, doubled unemployment , doubled interest on credit cards, and is going to double health care costs, all in one year? In your face, Bush!!! Duh, LOL. Double cheeseburger.

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Can you think of a word ending with "ble" unable to think of any ;-P

| 1 person likes this

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Is Hollywood really a hotbed of support for Roman Polanski? Birds of a feather, Keithold!

| 3 people like this

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True of False, have you ever been to Mcdonalds on a date? True. It was a date with starvation :)

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True or false:There is no perfect man it's what a woman can tolerate? Correct. And vice versa :)

| 3 people like this

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Everyone seems to be talkin about gay marriages... How do you feel about marriage between siblings? It's sick. They should be forced to live on Pitcairn Island to keep up the tradition of inbreeding. +4

| 3 people like this

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Do many English go to Scotland, or Scots to England, for fun and travel? Or not particularly? Some do but many fly to Europe on cheap flights which can work out more economical.

| 2 people like this

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What is the worst thing you could say to a celebrity? Good evening Miss "other celebrity's name". How's the diet?

| 2 people like this

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How do you get all the guys to like you without talking to them? You only need one to like you.

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I "Ryan and I" correct or should it be "Ryan and me?" "Ryan and I" is correct, "Ryan and me" is common usage, and "Me and Ryan" is childish/lazy.

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Would you ever get a tattoo like this? That is hideous.

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Should I ask another question about atheists? As long as you don't believe in miracles.

| 1 person likes this

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Could you, as a student, survive on £1500 ($2400) until January 11th provided rent and electricity is paid for? Easily possible, unless you opt for a liquid lunch 7 days a week.

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Should you always blow on a hot pie? A hot pie can be dealt with in many ways, but blowing? I'm not convinced ;)

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What's the biggest lie they ever taught you in school? That between the ages of 4 and 17 we were going to learn something that couldn't have been achieved in one summer of night school aged 18.

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Do you think lawyer is an admirable profession? No comment

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Can catholics step foot into other churches? Not on my manor.

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How do Historians make money? by "finding" ancient scriptures and translating them in 5 different ways.

| 1 person likes this

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How popular is Arnold Scharzenegger as Governor of California? As Governor of California, I believe he is thought highly of in a small village in Austria.

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When is the day of the dead? All Saints Day, thus proving there's no such thing as a dead sinner...

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What is the best halloween costume you have ever seen? Posh Spice with a pout.

| 1 person likes this

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What kind of punishment do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger gave to his wife Maria after she was photographed driving and talking on a cell phone with her hands on multiple occasions? Must have bought her a new phone with hands-free kit.

| 1 person likes this

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Do you think its true when people say that ugly kids become pretty/good looking men or women when they're older and that the cute, pretty kids become ugly? It can certainly happen, but I wouldn't say as a rule.

| 1 person likes this

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Is it acceptable to fire an employee for being a Christian with poor boundaries? The workplace is not meant to be a placed of ritual. The offender should first be warned, then given the sack if they continue to demonstrate any absurd behaviour, whatever religion they are.

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After I had cleaned the books and shelves in the libarary, I was told I hadn't put them back correctly. Why would it matter? I didn't realise the books were in any sort of order before I started cleaning. What, were you cleaning the HEBREW section?!?

| 1 person likes this

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What do you think my first name is? If you happend to REALLY know it, please don't say it on her, is not a guess then. David?

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What comes to mind when i say " World Wrestling Federation" Those arm-licking Bushwackers.

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My dog, a terrier, caught a squirrel. Should I be worried about his health? What should I watch for? See if he starts sniffing around nuts any more than usual.

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What is the craziest name you have seen on answer bag? One that referred to a dinosaur twice twice.