how do you know if you are a realist or if you are negative ? is being realistic bad ?

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  i was sexually abused and now i cant stop checking people out, i imagine everyone knows im a pervert.how do i stop
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  What do you think about a woman who intentionally begins a relationship with an abusive man?
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  If a parent walks out of an abusive relationship, leaving the children is that being selfish?What should the person do according to you?
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  What do you think about a man who intentionally begins a relationship with an abusive woman?
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