by mypetalsforyou@yahoo.com on September 5th, 2011

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My husband stopped having sex with me when I got pregnant and I found out he is into shemale and gay porn. What should I do?

Instead of going to bed with me, he would stay up all night waiting to make sure I was asleep to look at porn. I snooped and discovered he was not only into straight sex and lesbians, but he is into shemales (has been with a number of them in the past) and is intestested in gay sex although he will not discuss the extent.
I confronted him over a year ago and now I am in a strained marriage, sex is rare and unsatisfying, we have a one year old, so we are tired and stressed and I don't know what to do. We are trying our second marriage counsellor

stay with him - 30% (3 votes) 30%

leave him - 50% (5 votes) 50%

Get more thera - 20% (2 votes) 20%

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Answers. 5 helpful answers below.

by ErgoStep - Millionaire Websites on November 15th, 2011
Porn is a sex toy, as are dildos, condoms, and socks. The key question is, does one desire sexual play with a partner, and does one desire sexual play alone. Both genders usually approve of both, and should be allowed freedom to choose the most appropriate sex toys.

Above all, do not take it personally that he has unusual sex toys. Consider if he wanted to involve leather, whips, ball gags, and more. When he is playing with you.

Some find BDSM desirable. Solo, anything goes as long as it's safe. Together, that's when both must agree.
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by Joseph Smith was a fraud and Eisegete on September 13th, 2011
voted: leave him
If he has cheated on you, than you are Biblicaly released from any contractual agreements with him. Divorce him and marry a real man.
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- technically, he didn't cheat on me, but thank you for your input
  
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  by mypetalsforyou@yahoo.com on September 13th, 2011
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by John Cox will be back April 6th 2013 on September 7th, 2011
voted: Get more thera
I'm not sure if you are Mormon (seems questions by default get put into the Mormon section) but if you are, and perhaps even if you aren't you and your husband may want to look into the churches Addiction Recovery program:
http://lds.org/liahona/2009/06/addiction-recovery-healing-one-step-at-a-time?lang=eng&query=addiction+recovery+program
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Something that may also help is this blog that I've found very educational that handles taboo issues with frankness but delicacy. If your Mormon I think it'll help a lot, and if not you may be able to glean some helpful information from it:
http://ldsmarriagebed.blogspot.com/2010/12/sexless-marriage-and-sacrament.html
http://ldsmarriagebed.blogspot.com/2011/04/four-marriage-killers.html

Hope that helps, but I'd say counseling is definitely the route you want to go.
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by The Gawler on September 5th, 2011
I wouldnt worry about it, as long as he doesnt cheat on you
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- but I am miserable and our sex life is practically nonexistent, so it's really not an option to not worry about it. thanks for taking the time to answer, though
  
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  by mypetalsforyou@yahoo.com on September 5th, 2011
- You need to run, not walk away from that situation.
  
  Get to a better place to get your self together.
  As for sex, get a toy till you can find a new and better (strait) man.
  
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  by navyboy on September 8th, 2011
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by Dreamlight on September 5th, 2011
voted: Get more thera
By gay sex do you mean actual participatory sex, or gay porn? I don't see how his taste in pornography should affect a marriage, heterosexual or otherwise. On the other hand your marriage is obviously on edge over the issue. Whatever the case may be, continue the therapy and see if you can iron it out.
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- I mean gay porn sites. He is not attracted to men who look like men, apparently only men who look like women. If he is looking at porn and not interested in having sex with me, there is a problem. We used to have sex every day, when I got pregnant, he stopped cold, I couldn't get him to talk about it. Now, 2 years later, we have sex about once a month. He's gained weight and is always complaining about how tired he is. I'm fed up
  
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  by mypetalsforyou@yahoo.com on September 5th, 2011
- It's still not his taste in porn that is at issue, it is that he puts his porn-viewing before having sex with you. He obviously has issues that he can't talk about, something that doesn't sit well on his mind--and sexual issues can be, well, a touchy subject. I think he needs to seek some counseling or therapy by himself, in addition to the marriage counseling.
  
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  by Dreamlight on September 6th, 2011
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My husband stopped having sex with me when I got pregnant and I found out he is into shemale and gay porn. What should I do?

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