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How to Dodge DWIs Like George Bush

Monday, March 24, 2008
Related Tags: dwis | dodge | george | bush | police
 

Instructions

  • Step 1:
    Use your father's power to work the system. When your dad is the President, it's almost a guarantee you'll be able to dodge DWIs like George did.
  • Step 2:
    Stay quiet when the police are questioning you. You have the right to remain silent in order to prevent self-incrimination. Be polite, but resolute.
  • Step 3:
    Refuse to take any field sobriety tests. Again, this is another right that many drivers do not know or they forget when they are drunk. If you're George W. Bush, you could say, "Do you know who I am?" This often makes the police think twice about arresting you.
  • Step 4:
    Stand up straight and don't lean against the car or prop yourself up in any other way. You may think you're appearing relaxed and in control, but this is actually one of the things the police are looking for. Any sign that you are using outside help to stand is probably cause for arrest. If you're like George W. Bush and have a natural hunch, however, don't try to correct it or you may appear stiff.
  • Step 5:
    Find a lawyer online (see Resources below). DWI and DUI lawyers can help you in your case and perhaps get you off with only a suspension and a $150 fine, as George Bush was able to get in Maine in 1976.

Tips & Warnings

  • Become the President of the United States. If there's one thing the last few presidents have been able to prove, it's that Presidents can get away with some extraordinary things. This is one of the best ways to dodge DWIs.
  • Be aware that if you're a public figure like George W. Bush and you dodge DWIs, there may be some backlash. People who are able to dodge DWIs end up appearing like they've received special treatment. If you find your career or political standing waver, just ignore it and wait it out. People will eventually forget.

Resources


How to Dodge DWIs Like George Bush Provided by eHow.com
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