What is Answerbag?

Ask questions and share your knowledge with the world here on Answerbag. Get the best answers where there are no duplicate questions and questions are always open - our community of over 1,142,000 will find your answer!

Join For Free!
 

How to Discuss Alimony During Divorce

Friday, May 30, 2008
Related Tags: alimony | spouse | attorney | pay | state
 

Instructions

How to Discuss Alimony During Divorce

  • Step 1:
    Know the law in your state regarding alimony. There are many things a court must consider before awarding alimony, such as the needs of the requesting party, the ability to pay, the length of the marriage and other things. Contact your attorney and find out what your rights are regarding alimony.
  • Step 2:
    Once you understand what your state’s laws are regarding alimony and what your rights are, you must now decide if you would like to speak to your spouse regarding alimony, or mediate with a mediator. If you are on speaking terms, both parties can save money if they can come to an agreement regarding alimony.
  • Step 3:
    If you are on speaking terms, find a mutually agreeable neutral meeting place. If your spouse does not have an income, be prepared to have to pay some alimony. You do not necessarily have to pay permanent periodic alimony. Depending on your spouse’s circumstances, you may only be required to pay alimony for a short time (rehabilitative alimony).
  • Step 4:
    Discuss your joint finances. Discuss how much it is going to cost each one of you to live. If there are children involved, who will have primary custody? In many states, alimony has an impact on child support. How much martial debt is there? Do you have enough assets that can be sold or refinanced to pay off the debt?
  • Step 5:
    Once you made all the financial decisions, you can now talk about whether or not alimony needs to be paid or not. If it does, based on each of your finances, you will be able to decide what a comfortable amount is for each of you, and a time frame for alimony to be paid. If your spouse is going to college to update or get a degree, it may be while she/he is in college. It might be until the children get older.
  • Step 6:
    If your spouse gets argumentative about alimony, or you find yourself getting frustrated with the situation, end the discussion immediately, and have your attorney set up mediation. You do not want to say too much to your spouse just in case the issue gets to the litigation stage.

Tips & Warnings

  • Stay calm when talking about alimony. Tempers may flare. If they do, end the conversation immediately.
  • Take your attorney's advice. If you do not have an attorney, and you find that you are not able to discuss alimony with your spouse, it is advisable to retain an attorney, even just to sort out this issue.
  • Do not argue back with your spouse. Keep your temper in check and watch what you say. If your spouse is not willing to discuss alimony, do not force him/her to discuss it.
  • Alimony is a complicated issue. States have different laws pertaining to alimony. You may live in a no-fault state. You may live in a state that takes things like desertion or cheating into account for alimony. You may live in a no-fault state, but the law allows the court to use infidelity as part of its decision in awarding alimony. Before you start any discussions, you should know your rights under your state's laws.

Related Content
How Does Mediation Work?
Instructions Purpose of Mediation Step 1: Separated couples or couples who are divorcing often voluntarily choose mediation to work out a separation or divorce settlement. Couples meet with a...
How to Pay Alimony
Paying alimony helps the former spouse who needs money for her education, health reasons, financial support and so forth. It is a part of the agreement when the marriage began, and the amount of...
How to Reduce Alimony
You can reduce the amount of alimony you are paying if you have a certain percentage of financial change. Different states have different rules. You must check into your own state’s rules...
Can You Deduct Divorce Attorney Costs?
When a petition for dissolution of marriage is filed, it is common to request that the spouse being served pays the attorneys' fees and costs, especially if the spouse filing does not have an...
Divorce Advice for Women in California
Divorces are difficult to go through, but when you are properly prepared for your separation, things will be a lot less emotional and a lot quicker. It's important to always put your children first...