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How to Cheat Like Bill Clinton
Monday, March 24, 2008
InstructionsStep 1: Use your power as a government official to cheat like Bill Clinton. When he was Governor of Arkansas, Clinton used state troopers to escort women such as Paula Jones to his hotel room. These state troopers would stand guard outside the room to ensure that no one would interrupt Clinton while he made propositions to these women.Step 2: Stick to younger women who are more easily impressed with your achievements when you cheat like Bill Clinton. Clinton's sexual advances were met with more resistance when he propositioned women in their 30s, such as Paula Jones and Kathleen Willey. Clinton was able to carry on an affair for much longer when he concentrated on much younger subordinates such as Monica Lewinsky, who was only 22 when she was first propositioned.Step 3: Cheat like Bill Clinton by denying all accusations until definitive evidence is presented. After his affair with Monica Lewinsky first made headlines, Clinton held a press conference and categorically denied that he had an improper relationship with her. It was only after testimony before a grand jury was made public that Clinton amended his earlier statements.Step 4: Divert attention away from your cheating behaviors, and chastise those who accuse you. When asked about his affair with Monica Lewinsky, and his sexual indiscretions in the past, Clinton criticized reporters for interrupting him while he was preparing a State of the Union speech. By constantly belittling those who accused him of impropriety, Clinton was able to slow down the investigation of these matters.Step 5: Admit that you've cheated, and then move on. After Clinton finally admitted to being unfaithful to his wife, he quietly retreated to the Oval Office and buried himself in his work for several months, prompting one of the most productive periods in his Presidency. He further removed himself from the scandal by maintaining this low profile through his impeachment hearings.
Tips & Warnings- If you're having an affair with a subordinate and suspicions arise among co-workers, have that employee transferred immediately, as Clinton did with Monica Lewinsky in 1998 after she confided in co-worker Linda Tripp.
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