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by nancy erb on October 10th, 2004

nancy erb

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A 17 year-old girl I know is dating a 36 year-old man. Is this something to be concerned about?

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  • by Anonymous on October 13th, 2004

    Anonymous

    I would have to say yes. A 36 year old man is usually ready to settle down and build a family (have children), and if he is interested in someone who he is old enough to be the father of, than he is probably pretty immature for someone his age and the girl would probably mature beyond him within a few years and lose interest, after investing that much time in him. He might even be a pedifile, (highly unlikely, but possible). A 17 year old girl is just now coming into herself. She is finally old enough that mom and dad let her stay out later and do the things that she wants to, but she is still a minor and still has a lot to learn about herself and the world. She would most likely be at a point in her life where she is trying to decide what college she wants to go to, what kind of career she wants, etc. And, her major worries should be stuff like what she is going to wear to high school tomorrow and whether she got her homework and chores done or not. You know, teenager stuff. And, she probably hasn't had much experience with relationships and sex, when a 36 year old man probably has and would probably expect it of her. She shouldn't be worrying about sex, what to cook for dinner, or about children, etc, which is most likely what a 36 year old man is going to expect of his woman as well. Even if she has had sexual experience, she probably doesn't even realize yet the meanings and total responsibilities behind making love at such a young age. She should be dating someone closer to her own age, maturity and experience level, who is learning, growing and changing at a similar rate. My mom was 17 and my dad was 24 when they got married. It does not seem like much of an age difference, but it is. He wanted to settle down and have kids, and though she wanted to as well because she loved him, she did it too soon. She got pregnant and married and her first child was born exactly 1 month before her 18th birthday. I am 24 and they have been divorced since I was 5. Though they both love their children and always took good care of us, they both also feel that they shouldn't have gone about there relationship the way they did and that they would both have much more financially stable lives if they had waited until they were older, and had a career and home established. There is a lot that they both missed out on. Tell her to slow down.

    Comments

    • I would say this guy IS a pedophile! And maybe the law would also!

      Rescuer Treesaw

      by Rescuer Treesaw on June 8th, 2007

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