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by Aimeee. on April 14th, 2010

Aimeee.

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Why is it that my dad always pulls me down whenever I try and do something good with my life he's changed so much HELP !

Ever since my dad got with his girlfriend he's changed in so many ways ,
he's not the person I use to no I notice his girlfriend giving me dirty looks sometimes .

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  • by M Moon on April 14th, 2010

    M Moon

    There may be a couple of considerations here, eh?

    You mentioned, '... he's changed so much!' Can you track back to when Dad was 'his old self?' What happened to influence a possible change in him? Perhaps Dad is ill (physically or emotionally) -- perhaps not sharing this with the family -- as a bright and loving 'child' you may have to not take what he is SAYING to you so personally, IF what he is DOING FOR YOU matches the old caring Dad. [All of us are very complicated and sometimes 'take turns' being 'creepy.']

    Another possibility is Dad has low self-esteem for some current reason you may know nothing about. Attempt to speak with him in a gentle, non-threatening manner, like: "Dad? I've noticed you appear to be down in the dumps lately. This has made me feel really uncomfortable because I care for you and I'd like to know what I may do for you to make YOU feel better."

    You didn't mention where Mom was in this picture. Or another relative that may be able to assist you, eh? Maybe there is a way that you can love Dad in a better way?

    With this kind of loving, cooperative thinking, you may come up with some of your own ideas; more approachable and practical ideas to 'attend' Dad?

    Some Dad's ARE really toxic. (Mine was very much so.) If you are still living at home (and your parents are paying the bills) you may just have to wait for the time you may be able to reasonably and financially leave. This 'waiting' stuff is not easy but what you can do is surround yourself with positive friends. other family members and do as many positive activities as possible. [There is much science which really proves 'doing and thinking positive' creates better positive brain function.]

    That said, it is truly only YOUR responsibility to have a happy and productive life.
    No one can do this for you. [Were that they could, eh? But life is not that easy and in the end you will thank all the 'struggles' for making you the person you are.]

    In a total lifetime, you will encounter many other people who will disagree with you, your opinions and/or your life style. It is not 'them' that matter in the end run. What truly matters is what you think of yourself, the way you honor your own choices and the loyal commitment to your own developing morals, ideas and practices.

    I wish you only the best, my friend. You can do this!

    Comments

    • Wow the advice you gave me was great thanks :)

      Aimeee.

      by Aimeee. on April 14th, 2010

    • Thanks, I really hope some of it was helpful!

      M Moon

      by M Moon on April 19th, 2010

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