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by ladyshakespeare on January 18th, 2010
Why is it that a grown women looks older then a grown man both being the same age?
by Anonymous on September 1st, 2011
| 2 people like this
Girls and women: why is it that some of you are SO surprised to find out that that guy is interested in you primarily because of sex?
by Randy D on July 24th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Are men technically second class citizens?
by Louie_Ranking on November 16th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
What's the reason boys always after the girls but girls after the money ?
by wenz on September 25th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Do you think a woman can be more evil than a man can?
by Angel9 on August 23rd, 2011
| 4 people like this
You're reading Why should it NOT bother me when my boyfriend looks at porn? I have researched and tried to accept it, but every time it kills me inside.
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Comments
So it's true that porn breeds rapists and other sexual predators. Is the damage permanent? What if your husband never gets aroused by you or another real woman again?
by Robogirl_roboguy_robodog_robocat_in_2030 on January 18th, 2010
I think the damage is correctable IF he wants it to be. Problem is that most porn addicts dont want to fix the problem. They dont want to stop abusing women during sex and they dont want to admit that there is anything wrong with what they are doing.
by ladyshakespeare on January 19th, 2010
I need to inject myself here. I think it is stereotypical to label all porn as causing addiction, or all men as addicted to porn. I've known porn addicts and they are grossly different from guys I've known who are normal (and still viewed porn, sometimes with their wives).
I agree that porn alters the thought process. I think the usage of "brain damage" is alarmist and a propaganda term. The brain is constantly rewiring itself, killing old paths while forming new ones, it is neither damage nor growth.
Porn does alter the brains pathways, any time there is a stimulation of the body's senses or thought the pathways of the brain are altered.
I believe porn can cause men to objectify women, which is the first step to abusing them. However I do not believe that men who interact with women on a regular basis will objectify women solely because of their use of porn and rather their respect of women in general.
So what am I saying, in short, that there is a huge range of different forms of stimulation and resulting reactions. People are far too complicated to assign to simple stereotypes.
by Once here now gone... now back? on February 19th, 2010
Porn does cause brain damage. The more you view porn, the more likley you are to become addicted and be damaged.
by Robogirl_roboguy_robodog_robocat_in_2030 on February 19th, 2010
That has about as much truth to it as Reefer Madness.
by SNorman99 on March 2nd, 2010
I would'nt want to sleep with my gf if she calls me a brain-damaged porn addict. I have already enough trouble sleeping in the same bed with her after she insults me by saying that masturbating to porn is "disgusting". I wish you and her would realize that a man's attraction to you and how much he wants you is affected a lot by you, and probably much more then the movies that he watches. Besides, humiliating a man quickly kills whatever sexual relationship you had between you. So good luck. (Let me guess, "counseling" didn't work? - unless you took part in it...).
by rolfen on April 1st, 2010
counseling has been very effective. He is off of porn and his sex drive is REALLY high now, and the sex is better than it ever has been.
Porn isnt nearly so damaging if the man doesnt try to recreate the abuse he sees on his wife/gf. Since he has learned that women want to enjoy sex too (and not just suffer through it) HE is enjoying sex more than ever before. Its wonderful now. Its important to separate porn use from porn addiction (these are two very different actions)
Is your g/f disgusted by the porn itself, or are you mistreating her as a result of it?
by ladyshakespeare on April 1st, 2010
Ladyshakespeare, you are entirely not grasping at all what is actually in porn or why men look at it. From your comments it seems like you get most of your views about porn from other people who are feeding you what you want to believe.
by SNorman99 on April 1st, 2010
yeah, ive watched plenty of porn: women being sodomized, spit on, pissed on, shit on, forced to eat feces off of mens penis, slapped around, called vulgar names, having to perform girl on girl, having to share their men and no effort whatsoever put into giving the women any pleasure at all. Yep, ive seen it. If you actually believe that is what sex is for, you may need some help too. If you actually believe that women enjoy that crap, you definately need help!
You are right that I dont know why men look at it. maybe you can explain to me how men are aroused by watching women being abused so severely. Id really like to know.....all ears.
by ladyshakespeare on April 1st, 2010
So, basically you've only seen the nastiest porn that most men don't watch? Very interesting, how exactly did you come across this? Go over to xtube some time and watch the ameteur videos with women being pleased for real. That is hot. I'll admit most of what I look at is amateur/home made with real people having real sex.
by SNorman99 on April 1st, 2010
For the most part, Ive only watched porn with men, and it was ALWAYS porn that they picked, or from their collection. So, I have to beg to differ that most men dont enjoy watching "nasty" porn. If they dont watch it, why do they buy it? Why do they pressure unwilling women to recreate the abusive sex if they supposedly dont even like it?
by ladyshakespeare on April 1st, 2010
Most people look at what they like to look at. Most people read books that they like to read, and watch movies that they like to watch.
If a person enjoys comedy movies and romantic books this does not mean they expect life to be nothing but romance and comedy. They are unlikely to slap their leg and laugh when their boss gives them an assignment, or to try to skip work to ride a horse on the beach half-dressed waiting for their lover to appear.
Properly developed adults know where the lines between fantasy and reality are. I play video games involving shooting however I've never picked up a gun and started shooting people in real life.
Commercial porn is marketed primarily to guys. As such porn will reflect what the porn producers believe a guy would like to see. In this case porn is a fantasy, like a book, like a movie. The guy wants to feel pleasure, he wants to feel like number one.
Have you ever gone to a day spa? Doesn't it feel wonderful to have everyone pamper and fuss over you making you feel special? Everyone wants and needs to feel special and number one.
For guys in a strong healthy relationship or marriage there is sex, there is love, there is a mutual desire by both parties to make the other feel special and wanted.
Guys in weak ill relationships or single guys there is no sex (if not casual), there is no feeling special, no feeling wanted. Porn plays that part. Not perfectly, not even close. But it fools a guy long enough to get on with the rest of his day.
If you are at a restaurant and order a sundae are you worried about what your waitress likes to eat? No, because you are not sharing the sundae with the waitress, it is something meant only for yourself.
A lot of porn is the same way, it is meant for guys to enjoy privately. It fills all their dirty desires and wishful wants, the same as the hot fudge and peanut butter cups on the sundae does.
However a person who enjoys sundaes will rarely eat only sundaes even if they could get away with it. A person who enjoys comedy or romance doesn't only need to enjoy those things either.
A guy who likes dirty porn doesn't only need to enjoy dirty sex. It seems every time I see this topic come up, I cannot get over the feeling that women expect men to like the exact things they like and to involve them in every single thing, otherwise they are being selfish.
There is also the angle of application. There is porn meant for horny teens, older men, couples, people into fetishes. It is unreasonable to try to bake a cake based on a high-school math book, or to try to laugh at a dramatic war novel. The right tool for the right purpose.
It sounds like the porn in ladyshakespeare's example was strictly meant for guys privately. Involving that sort of porn into couples relationship can be poisonous, it just confuses the couple as to their roles. Suggest some light couples porn, or don't involve porn in the bedroom at all.
Btw lady, I've been around too. I've seen more than my share of porn with women using strap ons with men, spitting on men on, pissing on men, shitting on men, men being forced to eat feces out of a woman's butt crack, women slapping guys around, trying them up, sticking pins in their balls or penis, smashing their genitals with objects, walking on men, burning them, cutting parts of them off, calling them vulgar names, having to perform guy on guy while being raped with a strap on.....
I'm even into some of it (insert shock and surprise sounds). I've known girls that live for that sort of thing, degrading and hurting guys to no end, and I've known girls who absolutely live to be degraded and hurt themselves.
All different people like all different things and often the things people do like are the things they cannot have, either legally, morally, economically, etc. Fantasy fills those voids and porn is one tool to increase the pleasure of those fantasies.
by Once here now gone... now back? on April 1st, 2010