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by Pixie - jeg er elsket on May 8th, 2009

Pixie - jeg er elsket

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When it comes to parenting, do you believe fear equals respect?

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  • by bagicide stayed 10 months too long on May 8th, 2009

    bagicide stayed 10 months too long

    Lets be honest here, because being politically correct is useless and sometimes dishonest. There is an element of fear in respect. How many of you would refrain from swearing at your boss if you didn't fear being fired, let alone treat him/her respectfully? How many of you would even bother going to work if you didn't fear being hungry, naked and homeless? How many of you would always be respectful of a police officer if he didn't have the law, jails and a large 9mm on his hip?

    However, fear should not be the only element and the fear should be of the natural consequences of your actions, not of the person. In order to be respected, a person should be worthy of respect. To start with, you shouldn't tell your kids to "do as I say and not as I do." If you want your kid to stop dawdling, that instruction should not be delivered when you are still in your pajamas with an unmade bed yourself. If you want your kid to be honest, they should not catch you in lies. If you want your kid to be respectful to you, you should be respectful to them and to others. And in a family, there should be a huge dose of love mixed into that respect. In fact, that should be the biggest portion of it. But if you never teach your child to fear consequences and there is no fear in that respect, then they will learn it the first time they spend a night in jail or the first time they crash their car or the first time they get their girlfriend knocked up or they may never learn it, even after years in prison. Let them learn the pain of consequences while those consequences involve losing a favorite possession or a stinging tush, not when it involves losing the best part of their life.

    Comments

    • Wow, this is some great advice Blessed, from your starting sentence i expected a more controversial answer. But this seems to be something everyone can take and learn from :)

      Pixie - jeg er elsket

      by Pixie - jeg er elsket on May 8th, 2009

    • Thank you

      bagicide stayed 10 months too long

      by bagicide stayed 10 months too long on May 8th, 2009

    • There may be an element of fear in respect to many cases, but it doesn't mean that there always has to be a link. I respect my thirteen year old niece as a person, for example, but I have absolutely no reason to fear her in any way.

      Sid

      by Sid on July 3rd, 2009

    • Sorry, just re-read the question which is specifically about parenting and authority so just ignore me......

      Sid

      by Sid on July 3rd, 2009

    • And aren't you just the teensiest bit afraid of how your niece might turn out or how she might behave toward you if you don't treat her with respect? A thirteen year old's temper tantrum can be pretty bad. She may be a lovely young lady, but if you treat her disrespectfully you could unleash all that pubertal angst upon yourself.

      bagicide stayed 10 months too long

      by bagicide stayed 10 months too long on July 3rd, 2009

    • "How many of you would refrain from swearing at your boss if you didn't fear being fired, let alone treat him/her respectfully?"

      I do not work for people I fear. I would much rather be jobless. I only work for people who I respect and like their business. So there....My opinion for what it's worth. Out of respect. I wouldn't swear at them. If I feared them, I would not be working with them.

      angelisback

      by angelisback on July 13th, 2011

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