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by Ron C on April 28th, 2009
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You're reading I believe that women should have equal rights like men and be equal 50/50 by sharing the household and childcaring. i need a counter argument and refutation on my thesis statement. i need good convincing reasons( refutation)
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Comments
+6 Your answer made me laugh! Nobody can do an exact 50/50, but at least men who will make an attempt at it and not just believe the women should do almost everything is what most women would be happy with and they wouldn't feel taken advantage of.
by Nancy on April 28th, 2009
No woman will be 100% happy, no matter how labor is divided, it's just not in their nature. A successful marriage is one where the husband recognizes that. My wife has two big complaints about me. The first is that I mess up the checkbook, and the other is that I won't argue with her.
by Ron C on April 28th, 2009
LOL! If that's the only things she complains about, you should be happy.
by Nancy on April 28th, 2009
You're right I am.
by Ron C on April 28th, 2009
Ron C very nicely stated
by Kallous on April 28th, 2009
This made me laugh cos it's so true, and is the way it works for many if not most people.
>>If you need to be so exact about an exact 50/50 labor sharing like you vacuum half the living room and I do the other half, you have issues bigger than labor.
That's a very insightful comment and one that most couples don't get. They fight about who puts the rubbish out and who fed the dog without dealing with the bigger issues behind it, like expectations, boundaries,upbringing and control. Very interesting to see that written from a man's point of view.
by Rose is getting sleepy on April 28th, 2009
Thanks, a man's point of view is all I have, if your want more you have to ask my wife.
by Ron C on April 28th, 2009
Rose, you're right. I did most of the labor and I didn't complain very much;only when I was so tired I just couldn't keep my eyes open! It would have probably been okay if I wasn't taught that everything should be spotless all of the time too, and I realize that. I don't think my husband would have really cared if it wasn't! Maybe I should have complained and demanded his help so I never felt taken advantage of! I don't know. We didn't really fight about it, we just knew I was going to do it, LOL!
by Nancy on April 28th, 2009
And there's another comment worth investigating:
>>We didn't really fight about it, we just knew I was going to do it,>>
The key phrase there is "WE just knew." In hindsight I ALLOWED the situation that developed in my marriage, not only by complying with it, but by secretly believing it was somehow right, even though consciously I never thought so. My mother, who had nine children, did all the inside housework every day all day. My father would not allow any of the children to help her to any extent, (we worked in his business after school though). His reason was that he wanted us to have higher aspirations, go to university, have careers, etc and he wasn't very keen for us to get married either. It wasn't till I was about 14 or 15 that I realised this wonderful "liberated" philosophy meant my mother was anything but liberated her entire "working" life.
by Rose is getting sleepy on April 29th, 2009
Rose, I never heard of an attitude like your father's. We only had two kids and they had chores as soon as they were able. That's how you learn responsibility. My grand children have chores. I feel sorry for your mother. I read somewhere that the secret to lasting marriages is the example from the parents. Children from broken homes tend to have broken marriages. I was extremely nervous when I got married because I was afraid I'd make some mistake and screw it up. I did but we worked through it.
by Ron C on April 29th, 2009
>> I did but we worked through it.
Which is brilliant, because as you imply, mistaken attitudes are often passed from generation to generation ad naseum. My father's attitude was actually a reaction to his own upbringing - both his parents were alcoholics and he spent most of his childhood and teenage years in foster homes. Part of this he blamed on his mother's lack of education and not earning her own living (uncommon at the time, anyway). I can see the rationale behind all of his actions. He worked hard all his life and taught responsibility, not avoidance of it. He just didn't see how much work it involved for my mother nor how it restricted her potential. This is still true of a lot of men now - housework is dull, repetitive, and unproductive except in the short-term, so a lot of men say to themselves "Well, I don't want to do it, so I won't". Women, on the other hand,tend to believe that "somebody has to do it,so I guess it has to be me." Congrats for not buying it.
by Rose is getting sleepy on April 29th, 2009