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by Anonymous on March 28th, 2007

Anonymous

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I cheated on my boyfriend in the second month of our relationship. Its been a year and he found out about it in month 8. Now he doesn't trust me, and may never again. How can i get him to trust me?

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  • by Jon Hart on March 31st, 2007

    Jon Hart

    You need to put in a lot of hard effort and work. You need to work overtime to make him feel special, that you desire him and fully intend to be faithful in the future. This does not mean just words. Prepare a meal for him, or do something romantic. Write your promise down on paper so that he can hold on to it if he wants. If you have not already, examine your motives for cheating so that you better understand them. When you do, you should share them with your partner: If he has specific reasons for why you cheated, it will help him better understand the situation and possibly come to terms with it.

    You need to also understand that it is a long process, and there will be many times when it is clear he does not trust you yet - you need to accept those moments with understanding rather than defensiveness, anger or tears. You need to promise to be open with each other about your emotions; it needs to be ok for him to say "today I am having a hard time because I'm thinking a lot about what you did".

    It is a lot of hard work for both sides, and honestly, it often proves too difficult for many couples. If at any point you decide it is too much for you to continue working at it, or your partner decides that he no longer wants to try to trust you again, then there is nothing more to be done. But the aforementioned strategies can help prevent those decisions from being made. Nothing, however, is 100%. Good luck.

    Comments

    • this answer did not deserve a neg rating (you been uprated by the NRA team) have a nice day.

      ......

      by ...... on March 8th, 2008

    • it's definetly hard work

      cca9130

      by cca9130 on June 23rd, 2010

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