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by amanda on March 26th, 2007

amanda

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Why am i staying in an emotionally abusive relationship

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  • by Jon Hart on March 29th, 2007

    Jon Hart

    This is something that you need to examine in yourself, and really look at some potentially upsetting aspects of yourself. Unfortunately the only person who knows the real answer is you, but some things to consider:

    1. Do you feel like you've invested so much in the relationship, emotionally and otherwise, and you're just not ready to give up on it yet? If this is the case, you are maybe telling yourself "it wasn't always like this, it is used to be good, and maybe if I wait it out it will be good again?"

    2. Do you think that this is how a relationship should be? Perhaps you have learned somewhere that relationships are sometimes/often hurtful and you just need to "suck it up". If this is the case, you may think to yourself "Relationships are hard work, I need to just take this crap along with the good stuff"

    3. Is your self-worth somehow dependent on being in a relationship? Do you fear being single for some reason, or do you feel somehow less good about yourself/undesirable when you don't have someone to date? i.e. "If I break up with him, I'll never find anyone else who'll want to be with me"

    These are all common, but this is by no means definitive. Check out the other answers, and then sit down with yourself, alone, with no distractions, and really think hard and explore your emotions; ask yourself what they are, where they may be coming from and why you're reacting that way. If the idea of that is overwhelming or seems impossible, talk to someone, e.g. a counselor, therapist or social worker. These people are trained to help with exactly these types of things.

    Good luck, and I hope you find the courage to leave. Please remember that not being able to leave does not make you a bad person and it's nothing to be ashamed of; just try to do what's healthiest for you.

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