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by Daniel Ivey on May 3rd, 2006

Daniel Ivey

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Is isolating a child from contact by time out or grounding a good alternative to spanking with immediate reintegration?

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  • by free4life79 on May 4th, 2006

    free4life79

    Isolating a child is not a good idea. I have a 6 year old daughter and time outs do not work. Neither does taking away her toys or grounding her. Discipline should take care of the problem right away and change the direction the child is going. Children do not have a long attention span so to give them a time out or to ground them is to misunderstand the very nature of children. Alot of people consider spanking as abuse or hitting but if done in love and consistently it will change your child.I also don't believe in the "1,2,3 magic" that only teaches your child that they don't have to obey right away. If you can train your your dog to obey on command then surely you get get your child to respect you, obey you, and come when you call. I heard a true story of a dad and his child working in the woods cutting down trees. One tree was being cut down and was about to fall. The father noticed that if his child moved at all the tree would have fallen on him. The dad said in a loud, firm voice "don't move" and because the child was trained to obey his father at once without question, his life was saved.
    Spanking when done without anger will have lasting effects so that you don't have to continue spanking.If done consistently after a child is misbehaving (which also means wrong attitude or whining) you will have a new child that you enjoy being around and your child will love you for it! For more information or to ask a question please visit me at: http://free4life-truth.blogspot.com
    --------I do not beat my child! Get that out of your head. You must have heard to many bad stories and therefore made a judgment upon all of us! We are a Christian home and God says " Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Proverbs 19:18) remember God is a God of love and is against abuse on any child
    When my daughter does something wrong I tell her its time for a spank. I sit her down and tell her what she did wrong and that she is now going to receive her spanking. I slap her bottom three times(depends on if she fights me) and then I stop! Afterwards I ask her what she has done wrong and she tells me. She then is required to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I always tell her " i forgive you and I love you" I wrap it up with letting her know that by giving her a hug. You could ask my daughter if she feels abused and she would tell you "no", my mom loves me and is teaching me to do right!"

    Comments

    • "spanking as abuse or hitting but if done in love" that says it all! come back when she's 26-36 and tell us the mess she's in

      Alatea

      by Alatea on May 4th, 2006

    • That was awesome! I love the 123 part. I know that to be true as well.

      Daniel Ivey

      by Daniel Ivey on May 4th, 2006

    • Sorry but i think to spank is wrong but I think to actually tell the child they are going to be spanked and to do it in such a pre-planned way is worse than doing it out of temper.

      kitty loves you

      by kitty loves you on November 1st, 2006

    • There aren't many children that would answer yes to the question, "Do you feel abused?" Most children don't even know what that is. Many adults don't truly know what that is. I never would've said that I was abused when I was a child. I know now as an adult that I was emotionally abused and neglected by my father and two older brothers.
      I personally don't agree with spanking. Time outs are all to often dismissed by parents that are used to spanking and do not use the time out method correctly. They "try it out" only briefly and then dismiss it as uneffective. If you have been spanking and then suddenly switch to time outs it often doesn't work right away because the child simply does not understand the change in punishment. If done properly and consistantly even the previously spanked child will respond well in a relatively short amount of time.
      We play a game so the children can learn to respond to important verbal commands like duck, stop, jump, don't move, hide and run. We pretend that there is a small dragon flying through the house and that they must respond to the command right away or the dragon will eat them. If they miss a command they have to sit out of the game for one flight of the dragon and observe. I also have them call the commands so that I can demonstrate how they should respond. Works like a charm. They never question me when I issue a direct command and they didn't need to be physically controlled to teach them this.
      I think that if you are punishing your child in a way that you do not feel comfortable doing in public you should reconsider your methods. If it is humiliating to do it to them in front of people then it is humiliating period. If public punishment is embarrassing for you then it is embarrassing period. Humiliation and physical domination are not disipline methods they are control methods. Children do not learn respect from these methods, only fear. My children respect me because they know that I will never hit them and never make them feel small and helpless. They respect my rules because I am clear as to what those rules are and why we have them, safety. They also very much appreciate that I am required to follow the same rules. Treating your children with respect and consistancy will earn you the same.

      alfar

      by alfar on September 26th, 2010

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