Last night i went to the E.R for dehydration, im almost 10 weeks preg. & when i was leaving the nurse told me that i was too young to have a baby & to give it up for adoption.im 21 years old.my family keeps telling to call and complain. what do you think?

The nurse is completely out of her jurisdiction, telling you to give up the baby without due cause, as it is against two of the cornerstones of medical ethics, non-maleficence to the patient and respect of the autonomy of the patient.

As to the complaining part, well I'm not well up on how the US system would work. However, I'd be willing to bet it would be her word against yours - hard to prove. If you did complain, I would imagine it may be investigated by the hospital, but if you are seeking financial compensation I very much doubt you could claim anything and the legal expenses could be very large, so I would advise against this.

Although it can be a very significant factor, age is no absolute indication of suitability of parenthood itself - parents *can* be terrible at 40 or excellent at 16. At the age of 21 you are a legal adult anyway, and your decisions are entirely your own to make. I certainly don't think this is too young to have a child (my mum fell pregnant with me when she 21, and look how I turned out!).

However, I don't want to completely discount the possibility that she was advising you rather than telling you and she just doesn't have a good way of speaking to people, or you misunderstood what she was trying to say - when people are dehydrated, confusion is extremely common and although you may have very strong and adamant opinions and feelings about what and how she said it, you should take this into account.

If you are carrying a child inside of you, I'm sure you appreciate the great need to take the utmost care of both the baby's and your life as it grows. Being in a state of dehydration may have made this nurse think you weren't ready at the current time to handle the responsibility - and it is the greatest responsibility anyone can undertake.

Certainly in the UK, such a case could be reported to social services if the medical staff thought that the health and welfare of the child (even unborn) were in significant danger.

Obviosuly I don't know you, or the nurse, or the exact details of the incident, and so I can only offer my (partially informed) opinion, but I must tell you that I can understand both sides of the coin. I realise that such an answer may make you angry but I'm not going to take either side on this issue, without knowing more.

My advice is not to do anything rushed without thinking it through completely - perhaps arrange (via the hospital if necessary) to speak in person with the member of staff - that way she can relay her concerns and why she said whatever she said, and if you did hear her right and it wasn't appropriate, the staff member in question can be dealt with in a suitable manner to make her realise she doesn't have the authrotiy to say such statements.