by Answer Rabbit on April 13th, 2006

Answer Rabbit

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On wedding invitations, does the bride or the groom's parents' names go first?

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  • by mrserica21 on April 13th, 2006

    mrserica21

    The wording may vary according to taste, and depending on how formal your celebration will be. But, whatever the format, the invitation should state the following:

    names of the bride's parents or other hosts.

    first name of the bride.

    first name and surname of the bridegroom and his title (Mr/Lieutenant/Sir etc.)

    where the ceremony is taking place.

    date, month and year of the wedding ceremony.

    location of the wedding reception.

    address to which guests should reply, and a reply date.

    You might also wish to include:

    details of any dress code/theme.

    time guests can expect the day to come to an end.
    " whether children are invited

    who sends the invitation?
    Invitations always go out from whoever is hosting the wedding - often the bride's parents. The wording becomes more complicated if parents are divorced or if the couple are holding the event themselves. The usual wording for a traditional invitation is:

    Mr & Mrs James Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Susan to Mr Neil Wood at St Mary's Church, Milton, on (date), (month), (year), at, (time) and afterwards at (reception venue). RSVP: (host's address).

    the traditional approach

    if you want to follow traditional invitation style, there are a few rules to follow:

    invitations are generally written in the third person.

    when listing the time, date nd venue, the time and date should be written first and the venue last.

    use titles eg. Dr, Mrs etc. when appropriate.

    'The honour of your presence' or 'The pleasure of your company' is the normal choice of wording. The former is often used for invitations to religious ceremonies such as a church wedding; the latter for invitations to an event in a non-religious venue.

    for invitations, the bride's name should appear before the groom's

    how you break up the lines is up to you. Generally, names, times and places are placed on separate lines.

    The wording can be adapted to accommodate a change in circumstances due to death, divorce and re-marriage on the bride's side. For example:

    (if either parent is widowed): Mr James Jones / Mrs Pamela Jones, requests the pleasure…

    (parents are divorced): Mr James Jones and Mrs Pamela Jones request the pleasure…

    (parents divorced, mother remarried): Mr James Jones and Mrs Paula Matthews request…

    Continental Europeans and members of the practising Jewish community send cards including the names of both sets of parents, so: Mr and Mrs James Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Susan to Neil, son of Mr & Mrs Simonberg.

    including children
    If children are invited, this can be made clear by including their name on their parents' invitation. Parents should assume that the invitation is for them alone if their children's names are not specified.

    It can be tactful to include a short note to parents, such as 'Much as we would like to invite all the children of our friends, it is only possible to accommodate the children of close family', or 'We are sorry we are unable to accommodate children'. If you are inviting children, let parents know if you have made special childcare arrangements: 'We have arranged child-minding facilities for the duration of the service and/or reception'.

    invitations to the reception or an evening party
    If space is limited at your ceremony venue, you may wish to invite more guests along to the reception afterwards. Equally, you may then decide to invite even more guests for a party in the evening.

    A reception invitation will 'request the pleasure of your company' to the wedding reception. An evening party invite could be equally formal, or informal depending on the style of your wedding.

    more wording examples
    Who is hosting your wedding?

    the bride's parents?
    both sets of parents?
    you're hosting your own wedding?
    you with both sets of parents?
    a single parent?
    a divorced parent with their spouse/bride or groom's step parent?
    jointly hosted by divorced parents?
    someone other than the bride's parents?
    the wedding's going to be a joint one?

    the bride's parents
    Mr & Mrs Wakefield
    Request the honour of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth
    to Adam Brook Austin
    son of
    Mr & Mrs Austin
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    both sets of parents
    Mr & Mrs Wakefield
    and
    Mr & Mrs Austin
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth
    to Adam Brook
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    you're hosting your own

    Ms Laura-Jayne Elizabeth Wakefield
    and
    Mr Adam Brook Austin
    request the pleasure of your company
    at their marriage
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    you with both sets of parents

    Mr & Mrs Wakefield
    and their daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth
    together with
    Mr & Mrs Austin
    and their son
    Adam Brook
    request the honour of your presence
    at the wedding of
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth
    and
    Adam Brook
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    a single parent

    Mr Wakefield
    requests the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth
    to
    Adam Brook Austin
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    a divorced parent with their spouse bride or groom's step parent

    Jane & Tom Brown
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of Jane Brown's daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth Wakefield
    to
    Adam Brook Austin
    son of Mr & Mrs Austin
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    jointly hosted by divorced parents

    Mr Wakefield
    and
    Mrs Brown
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Laura-Jayne Elizabeth Wakefield
    to
    Adam Brook Austin
    son of
    Mr & Mrs Austin
    on date, month, year
    at, time
    St George's Church, Barton-in-Fabis,
    Nottingham


    someone other than the bride's parents
    If the host of the wedding is neither the bride nor the groom's parents, but another relation, you should word the invitation submitting the word daughter/son and adding the hosts' relationship.

    - grandparents = granddaughter/grandson
    - aunt and uncle = niece/nephew
    - godparents = goddaughter/godson
    - foster parents = foster daughter/foster son
    - brother = sister/brother
    - sister = sister/brother

    Comments
    • There are a number of errors in this answer, especially in the first ½ of the posting.

      PaperQueen

      by PaperQueen on April 14th, 2006

    • good effort

      davoomac

      by davoomac on April 23rd, 2006

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