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by MOMMYG on January 1st, 2004

MOMMYG

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Should a single person with a child wait until the child is grown before starting a relationship with someone?

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  • by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on April 17th, 2004

    Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

    Wow, there are already so many great and positive answers here. I agree, life doesn't end because you're a parent. Go get 'em!

    So now, I have to be the downer here, but this may not apply to you or any other single parent. Please don't be offended, it is just another perspective.

    Be realistic. I dated a single dad who had 2 sons. He was 11 years my senior and I have no children. They were good kids for the most part, but had been through a lot and were out of control at times. He looked to me for advice, help, and support. I had no clue what to make of that since I was closer in age to his kids and had none of my own. He really needed somebody who had more experience with children in his life. I bailed. Mostly because he got on my nerves with his needy disposition, but the kids were a factor too.

    Keep your cool. Some people get into relationships and at the outset the "package deal" seems okay and they go with it and later realize that it's just not their thing. I remember distictly that the first guy my Mom dated after her divorce was a jerk and he eventually broke it off. She was devestated and I recall being told it was my fault because he didn't like kids. That might have been true, but it should never have taken out on me. That is just so wrong, need I say more?

    Date for the right reasons. If you are struggling financially, don't look at mates as a form of relief. My current significant other was in this situation and his former girlfriend had moved in and out with guys as a means of survival. She couldn't keep a job and was always in need of money and a place to live. I can only imagine how hard this was on her daughter. Very sad.

    Best of luck to you. And like I said, go get 'em and have fun!

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