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by DanyDD on October 26th, 2005

DanyDD

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, and I feel this is getting serious. But lately he talks too often about his past relationships and told me he cheated on one of his exes with a girl who is now a good friend. Why does he tell me this?

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  • by Anonymous on February 6th, 2006

    Anonymous

    This guy is Warning you!
    He is also trying to hurt you, for some reason.
    Plain and simple.
    There is obviously something that is driving him to disclose to you things that ANYONE would be sensitive to. There is no other point, other than his conscience, to disclose such things and to talk so much about his past. What type of conscience is it? A remorseful one? I don't think so.
    Time to politely pack up your stuff and move on. No need for anger or upset because HE is the one who needs to deal with his motive to harm others who are innocent in your relationship. Here is an example:
    You make him breakfast. He says,
    "You are a great cook! Thank you for making breakfast for me! I love bacon and eggs. Oh, by the way! Once, with my ex, I didn't like bacon and eggs and I used to throw them in the garbage right in front her."
    ...and what would drive him to say that,
    "I sure hope she got the message when I did that and that you will never forget that I told you about it, either."
    See my point?!
    What a jerk! He just doesn't get it! Now that YOU get it... you'd better move on or he will make sure that you do get it... his way! He has already started, as you can see, and it isn't going to start feeling any better for you! And yes... he IS doing it TO YOU! There is no one else! It's not about his past, or his ex-. It is about him and about you! He is vicious and vindictive. He, of course, will deny it and might not even think that he is.
    I would be willing to bet that he is a narcissist, although you might not be aware of it fully at this time. When you tell him that you don't wish to hear anymore about his cheating or his ex-... see if he accepts that, or if he blames you as being too rigid or thoughtless of HIS feelings. If he blames you in any way, regardless of his rationale or excuses, then he does not have the capacity to consider your feelings, or anyone elses feelings. He would be a narsissist. I hope you will look up the term if you do not know what a narsissist is. Your Man has a serious character flaw. Minor would be one thing. But what you described is more than minor.
    PLEASE do NOT ask the ex- about him. You will triangulate your relationship and other loyalties between them and yourself and him. She is not obligated to you, although there is still an obligation between the two of them. Something is very wrong here. Ask him or tell him yourself. Not through her. Never.

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