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by Mastodon on October 16th, 2008

Mastodon

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If women want to be treated equally then should they not expect men to open doors for them, pull out chairs, etc,?

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  • by Bee on October 17th, 2008

    Bee

    It depends on if they're feminists or not. If they are, the answer is NO, they should not expect men to open doors, etc., because that's not equality, is it? That's expecting special treatment based on gender.

    By definition, being treated equally would preclude men doing things for women that are not reciprocated at the same rate. So, if I pull her chair out, the next time she pulls mine out. I open 50% of the doors, she opens 50%, I help her with her coat 50% of the time, she helps me 50% of the time, etc. That might be ridiculous, but that would be equality.

    Non-feminist women have it right. They just want respect and fairness, just like men. Once you start talking equality, then you can't expect equality only when you want it. It's a package deal.

    Unless you believe that men are supposed to do some things and women are supposed to do other things. But, then that's not a person that demands equality.

    Comments

    • I couldn't agree more. Either you're equal or you're not.

      Rich

      by Rich on October 20th, 2008

    • Opening doors for,... anyone, is just good manners.
      If you feel it demeans you,...then you definitely shouldn't.
      (Although I don't know why you'd feel that way.)

      I'm teaching BOTH my son and daughter to open doors for others.

      I'm doing this, because as their mother, I want THEM to treat others with dignity. This will help to smooth their way as well, since courteous people are appreciated.

      I don't think anyone pulls out chairs any longer. On the rare occasion when it's been done for me I was DELIGHTED.

      PonderAppreciatively

      by PonderAppreciatively on October 27th, 2008

    • To PonderAppreciatively: I think the aim of the question is, how can women expect equality and yet expect to be treated differently than men in social settings where men open women's doors and pull out their chairs, etc. and not vice-versa? You seem to be teaching your daughter that in order to be an equal, she can't expect to be treated better than she treats others, which is a good thing.

      Bee

      by Bee on October 29th, 2008

    • Dear Baysider, Manners and equality are two different things. Manners helps but order in situations. Equality means that each person regardless of gender or race are given the same opportunity and rewards for same outcomes. but life isn't fair so equality in any situaltion is difficult to achieve.

      Dee Dee just havin some fun

      by Dee Dee just havin some fun on November 6th, 2008

    • Dee Dee, I get your point. However, would you not agree that being treated better than someone else based on race, religion, ethnicity, OR gender is wrong? Please explain why women merit better treatment than men, or whites than blacks, or Jews than Gentiles?

      Explain why men and women shouldn't be given the same respect and consideration?

       
      Further, if you consider yourself a feminist, aren't you trying to break away from patriarchal tradition that suggests that women are weaker than, and dependent on men?

      Bee

      by Bee on November 7th, 2008

    • or every time she opens a door, she closes it and makes you open it, that would be fun :)

      JorgeToth

      by JorgeToth on February 16th, 2009

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