I'm in my first relationship, but when my girlfriend talks about her ex it bothers me. What should I do?

Get used to it, I'm afraid. It's common to feel uncomfortable hearing about a partner's past relationships, especially when you haven't had many yourself, but it's not going to go away and it shouldn't. That person was part of her life; accept it as you do any other part of her life. It's one of many things which made her who she is now. As long as she's being respectful, and clearly more interested in the here and now, some reflection is not out of place.

Let me clarify that last bit. First, if she's making explicit comparisons that are unfavorable to you, that's taking shots at your ego inexcusably. It is possible she's unaware of this, though, so point it out before holding her at fault. ("I'm not that guy, I'm never going to be. Tell me what you want instead of making me feel inferior.")

Similarly, if she seems more interested in talking or thinking about him than she is in being with you, she might not be ready for this new relationship. It's up to you to gauge whether the two of you are enjoying being together, but don't be afraid to ask how she really feels about it.

Welcome to the high-pain, high-gain world of romance, and best of luck to you. ; )

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I was going to make the same points, but you did it better than I could.
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by Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog on January 19th, 2006

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I'm in my first relationship, but when my girlfriend talks about her ex it bothers me. What should I do?

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